Number One Quality To Look Out For. Do you really want to know? Having been married for 24 years, I can tell you that quality is Meekness! It is one quality that will help your relationship last longer! Meekness means being submissive, and teachable. It does not mean being weak or weak-willed; rather, it is strength under control. The dictionary says that meekness can be seen as having or showing a quiet and gentle nature; not wanting to fight or argue with other people.
Let’s take a look at the scriptures: 1Pe 3:3-4 (KJV) Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [4] But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a MEEK and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Number One Quality To Look Out For
Here the scriptures advise that besides beauty, which is evident in adorning the hair, use of jewelry, and nice wear, let there be an adorning of the heart as well–this is an ornament of MEEKNESS (or being MEEK). You see, we all come into relationships and marriages with baggage–unwanted thoughts and feelings from past emotional upheavals, tensions arising from strained relationships in the past, highly opinionated postures emanating from parental upbringing, warped ideas resulting from emotional, verbal, sexual, and physical abuses.
To be teachable and submissive is the only way to make it in a relationship or marriage. A hard posture and statue-like stance will almost always destroy any relationship or marriage. Flexibility and willingness to adjust and learn new things will go a long way to add spice and fun to your relationship or marriage. Beware of opinionated, stubborn, and unwilling to change-partners!
Even as a child of God, your success is predicated on the continual renewal of your mind with the word of God. This constant transformation has to be taking place. That is why you go to church; that’s why we send you KHC devotional daily; that’s why you should read your Bible daily.
Number One Quality To Look Out For 2Co 3:18 (KJV) But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.
If you are already in a relationship or married, that is one way to start changing. You cannot change your lover or spouse; if you attempt it, you will be frustrated. But with the word of God and its study, anybody can make a change in his or her life.
God loves those who are meek and teachable! Psa 25:9 (KJV) The meek will He guide in judgment: and the meek will He teach his way.
The meek person will always rise to the top in any situation. Psalms 147:6 (KJV) The LORD lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground.
The point is that you should look out for a meek lover.
Beware of any lover who doesn’t want to be taught, who is not submissive to any authority, and that his or her parents cannot talk to.
One of the saddest statements I have heard in counseling sessions was when a person said their spouse doesn’t listen to anybody, not even their parents!
Do not marry anybody who is not accountable to someone! If you do, you are on your own!
Pay Attention: Don’t Dismiss These Statements. At work, Mrs. Johnson became sidetracked and started falling for another man. Despite her sincere love for God, she was losing ground. She found it hard to believe. Her emotions were like a roller coaster, and her mind was chaotic. Her spouse didn’t understand the delicate predicament she was in despite her repeated attempts to communicate it to him in very subtle ways.
George, who was seeing Sandy, was, however, being sidetracked by another woman. In an effort to combat the new feelings, he tried to obtain Sandy’s attention. However, Sandy was busy, which made him more vulnerable.
The truth is that comments made by married people or single people who are courting frequently reveal the depth of the trap in a marriage or relationship.
Your words can frequently disclose the types of problems you have and need to address, even if you are single and not in a relationship.
There are distractions. There are several types of traps. There are constant psychological and marital assaults.
Demonically planted traps, similar to those used to catch rats, are everywhere. Snares practically everywhere you turn.
There are some comments your partner or sweetheart makes that indicate they are preoccupied and need your attention.
In these situations, you need to be there for your partner since without you, nothing will get better.
What are these statements?
Pay Attention: Don’t Dismiss These Statements
1. You’re too busy to see me again
Your partner is constantly around you, so why does he or she say this? You must pay attention to avoid having someone else emotionally fill your position. This statement is asking you to free up some time so your partner or spouse can receive assurance that will help them cope with their new wave of emotions.
Don’t disregard it!
Stop defending!
Avoid arguing!
Make time to engage in some thought-provoking dialogue.
Let me say something to single people who are not involved in a relationship.
A single friend who says this to you is attempting to express interest while gauging your response to determine whether to pursue or back off. Analyzing the situation!
So you may respond with “no thanks” if you don’t like the individual and aren’t thinking about making any obligations.
The response will either be a green or red light.
Pay Attention: Don’t Dismiss These Statements
2. You are far from where I am.
Don’t take this statement from your partner lightly. Avoid getting into a battle or a disagreement. Pay attention to what is said and what is not stated.
Even though you may be physically close to the person you love, your emotional distance from them may be great. Couples who share a bed frequently lament their loneliness for this reason. Seems absurd, right? It is the truth!
This person is trying to tell you that the more emotionally distant you are, the larger the void you leave for others to fill.
Prioritize your relationship with your partner, married couples.
There is a twist to this phrase for individuals who are dating but are not yet married. You need to determine whether the statement is sincere or just an invitation to indulge in sex. Here, prudence and tact are required. God bless you!
Two Signs of A Toxic Marriage. Similar to how an ailment can afflict an individual without becoming evident for some time, a marriage can be unhealthy without the obvious manifestation of underlying issues.
Nonetheless, signs are bound to reveal themselves. Although there are numerous warning signs, we shall examine a few this morning.
Two Signs of A Toxic Marriage
1. Lack of a Spiritual Connection
A marriage in which the couple does not have a spiritual connection with God is likely to deteriorate with time.
Building a successful home necessitates the involvement of a higher power.
Psalm 127:1 (KJV) states, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.”
It is only through the intervention of God that a house can become a home.
It is not enough to have a passing relationship with God; it must be built and nurtured.
This concept also applies to singles who are preparing to meet or are already in a courtship with their beloved. Falling in love with someone who does not have a profound spiritual connection is ill-advised.
It is effortless to discern whether an individual has a spiritual connection with God or not. His actions, words, choices, and priorities reveal the kind of person he is.
Don’t settle for just a good-looking partner; aim for a spiritually mature and deep individual.
A man who genuinely knows God will not resort to hitting or beating his wife, while a woman who is familiar with God will not be a perpetual source of annoyance to her husband.
Why did I say this is toxic? A person without a deep relationship with God will have no restraint and will eventually mess things up.
Two Signs of A Toxic Marriage
2. Lack of Accountability
An unaccountable couple is perched atop a keg of gunpowder that could detonate at any moment.
Wisdom is the foundation of life, and every error and setback is a manifestation of foolishness lurking within.
Accountability provides a means to learn from older couples and those who have been in your shoes before.
Falling in love with an unaccountable person is the most dangerous thing one can do in life. To those who have ears, hear now!
The saddest part of counseling is often the conversation that goes like this:
“Who is his/her pastor?” “He does not have a pastor.”
“What about his parents?” “His parents cannot speak to him. He won’t listen.”
“Does he listen to any of his friends?” “None of his friends can talk to him.”
“Then who does he listen to?” “He listens to nobody!”
Once an individual has alienated themselves from all authority figures, isolated themselves from any help, and disconnected themselves from those who can provide guidance, the situation becomes complicated.
Therefore, it is prudent to consider only those who are accountable when seeking a partner. For those already married, it is essential to address accountability lovingly and prayerfully.
This is toxic because marriage without accountability will resort to manipulation and the like, with nobody to correct the ignorance and arrogance that come with a life that is not accountable
May God assist us all.
These are two of the warning signs of an unhealthy marriage. I will be concluding here this morning.
Deconstructing the Significance of Saying ‘I Do’. When you said “I do” on your wedding day, something incredible happened. It’s almost crazy to think about it! Your body is no longer just your own; it now belongs to your spouse.
A powerful fusion takes place in the spiritual realm, so intense that even God declared, “let no man put asunder!”
God bears witness to this union, and any attempt to come between it is an attack on God Himself.
Deconstructing the Significance of Saying ‘I Do’
As believers who are rooted and grounded, the devil’s tactics against you are strategic.
If you’re a weak believer with no firm foundation, he can easily tempt you with adultery and infidelity, leading you astray from God.
But even for those who are firmly grounded, the devil still has tricks up his sleeve. His weapon is to keep you divided, to torment you with negative thoughts and perpetual strife.
Even though you may not be committing adultery, your negative thoughts can be just as destructive.
This negativity will infect your whole family because your thoughts have magnetic power and will affect everything around you.
Deconstructing the Significance of Saying ‘I Do’
How can you pray and agree together when one spouse’s mind is full of doubt, contempt, and dislike for the other?
This is the devil’s work, and it often shows up in small ways. Your spouse may seem happy and engaged when talking to others but then become easily irritated when it’s just the two of you.
The friend you fell in love with during courtship may seem to have disappeared!
Sometimes, this shows up as singles in courtship too. Unexplainable and perpetual irritation from one party could be an indication of deep-seated issues.
If you’re experiencing this, take responsibility for your own actions and ask God for help before blaming your spouse.
Blaming each other is like a General Manager who blames his employees for losses and the employees who blame the Manager for their ineffectiveness. It creates a stalemate!
Stop playing the blame game! It’s a trap from the devil. Instead, humble yourself and seek God’s guidance.
Deconstructing the Significance of Saying ‘I Do’
It is not a prudent use of your time to engage in fruitless endeavors, as there is a plethora of things to do!
What rationale exists for subjecting oneself to a forty-day fast, only to subsequently engage in four days of discordant behavior that serves to discredit one’s previous efforts?
What purpose is served by dedicating years to cultivating the growth of seeds, only to then carelessly uproot them with a thoughtless and egocentric tongue?
Decide to align yourself with a unified front in the face of the adversary that seeks to undermine the well-being of your soul.
From the moment you enter into holy matrimony, the prospect of achieving success through individual means is rendered null and void.
Therefore, it is incumbent upon you to eschew minor disputes and disagreements, and instead adopt a harmonious approach that enables both partners to partake in God’s favor.
For those in the courtship phase of a romantic relationship, the continued indulgence of contentious attitudes represents a gross misapplication of personal power and potential.
May the grace of the Almighty bless your relationships, marriages, and households, now and forevermore.
Unveiling The Hidden Passions Of Every Woman. This morning, I want to enter the shoes of a woman and write as though I am a woman. Are you ready?
Did you know that men and women are wired differently? Yup, we are! So, as a lady, I can tell you that there are some things that we all desire deep down. Here are five of the deepest desires of every woman, expressed in a more relatable manner:
1. Read my body language, babe!
Ladies can be complicated creatures, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to understand us better! We’re not always the best with words, but we’re experts at non-verbal communication. So, if you really want to make us feel loved and understood, pay attention to our body language and try to pick up on our needs. Trust me, we’ll appreciate it!
Unveiling The Hidden Passions Of Every Woman
2. Slow down and show me some love!
Okay, guys, let me be real with you. Sometimes, you guys can be a bit too quick to get to the good stuff. But us ladies need a little more time to warm up, if you catch my drift. So, slow it down, take your time, and give us some extra attention and affection before we get down to the bedroom business. Trust me, it’ll be worth it!
Singles ladies you don’t need foreplay for anything! You don’t need any play!
Follow this advice here:
Son 2:7 (MSG) Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
It is clear from that scripture. Don’t stir anything up. All those making out, kissing, and smooching are nothing other than afflictions.
Unveiling The Hidden Passions Of Every Woman
3. Tell me I’m beautiful, baby!
We all have days where we don’t feel our best, and that’s when we need our man to step up and remind us just how beautiful we are. So, don’t just think it, say it! And don’t just tell us we look pretty, tell us why you think we’re beautiful. It’ll make all the difference, trust me!
For singles in courtship, it is okay to use good words and proclaim what you want to see in your future wife. Words are powerful, so use them to your advantage.
4. Surprise me, sugar!
There’s nothing quite like a surprise to show us how much you care. It doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive, just something that shows you were thinking of us. Whether it’s a thoughtful gift or a spontaneous outing, it’ll make us feel special and loved.
Unveiling The Hidden Passions Of Every Woman
5. Pray for me, honey!
Finally, one of the deepest desires of every woman is to feel spiritually connected with her man. So, don’t forget to pray for us, guys! It’s one of the best ways you can show us you care and it’ll fill us with confidence and peace. And trust me, we could all use a little more of that in our lives! How about prophesying into our lives regularly? That can be romantic too!
Singles, pray more than have fun all over the place. The cinemas, the beach visits, the outings, and the Ice creams are all good, but they should not be done at the expense of spiritual exercises like praying!
Three Must-Have Commitments In Marriage. When the fateful day arrived and you encountered that special person who made your heart sing, the sensation of fluttering butterflies in your stomach was undeniable. The thrill was almost tangible, with euphoric moments that intermingled in a delightful whirlwind.
However, after a few months, those once-vivacious butterflies had withered away, their once-vibrant wings broken and incapable of soaring. The colors that once illuminated your life faded, leaving a monotone existence. The cute smiles and tender laughter that previously sent shivers down your spine had now given way to frowns and curt, impolite body language and responses.
Poems were a thing of the past, and inspiration had simply vanished into thin air. Flowers were no longer gifted, and chocolates had been banned. Even ice cream had become a health hazard, and there was no time for cinematic or romantic excursions. Candlelit dinners had been replaced by the harsh glare of a light bulb. Simple gestures, like opening car doors and exchanging affectionate kisses, were things of the past.
Her once-charming dimples had melted away, and her smiles had lost their luster.
Couples who were once smitten with each other were now worlds apart, with a single phone call per week considered a luxury. What caused this change? Network disruptions and unpaid salaries had contributed, but the real issue was a lack of commitment.
Every couple should have commitments to one another that are verbalized, documented, and reiterated on a regular basis. These commitments must be deliberate and consciously made.
Three Must-Have Commitments In Marriage
What are some of these commitments? According to Ephesians 4:2 in the Amplified Bible, couples should “live as becomes you with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.”
Here are a few examples of these commitments:
Three Must-Have Commitments In Marriage
“I will always love you, dear.”
This should not be a mere platitude uttered out of boredom, but a sincere commitment that comes from the heart. This love should be unconditional, not dependent on attitudes, assumptions, or behaviors.
“I will never cheat on you.”
This particular commitment will have an immeasurable impact on your life and marriage. Adultery is a destructive force that works against your own well-being.
As the scripture states, “he that commits adultery lacks understanding.”
“I will always be there spiritually.”
How blessed it is to have a spiritual spouse! A spiritually sensitive spouse is not only a prayer warrior, but a lifelong partner who does not hold onto grudges and wounds.
Nothing in this world can replace a spouse who is attuned to the frequency of heaven and feels the heartbeat of God. How fortunate are those who are married to a God-chaser?
If you uphold these three commitments, the butterflies in your stomach will continue to dance!
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want. In today’s dynamic world, change and adjustments are crucial. The purpose of this devotional is not to castigate men, but to emphasize the responsibility that God has entrusted to us as the head of our households. It’s an enormous responsibility that requires our utmost attention.
If you belong to any of the categories of men listed below, it’s high time you reevaluated your actions and made the necessary changes.
Let’s explore the three types of men that women don’t want.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
1. The Nocturnal Husband
Gone are the days of being a bachelor. You’re now married, and you need to come to terms with this new reality.
Why do you persist in staying out late? It sends the wrong signal and is generally frowned upon. If your spouse is uncooperative, seeking counseling or a viable solution is a better option than engaging in late-night shenanigans.
It’s inconsiderate to keep your wife up at night, especially if she needs to rest. Avoid environments that can potentially lead to infidelity.
Singles, take note – you don’t automatically change your habits after marriage. Therefore, it’s best to eliminate any negative habits while single.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
2. The Manipulator
This type of man uses money or other material possessions to coerce his partner into submission.
In the end, this behavior breeds resentment, bitterness, hurt, and a wounded spouse. These traits are detrimental to any relationship, particularly a marriage.
Such relationships are abnormal and not in line with God’s plan for healthy, loving relationships that provide a conducive environment for raising children.
As a single person in a relationship, avoid introducing money or gifts as rewards or punishments. It only fosters a money-driven relationship that lacks true love.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
3. The Non-Spiritual Husband
This man is reluctant to provide spiritual guidance for his family. He’s evasive, makes excuses, and doesn’t prioritize God in their lives.
He doesn’t read his Bible or pray. Without a deliberate and conscious relationship with God, a man is handicapped in providing spiritual leadership.
The head is where the eyes are located, and as the head of the household, a man is expected to provide vision and insight to his family. He is their compass and navigation system.
However, a man without a relationship with God cannot see beyond his nose. His vision is impaired, and his capacity for insight is limited.
Singles, be mindful of the person you’re committing to. Ask questions and take the time to get to know them properly.
In conclusion, these are the three types of men that women don’t want. May your marriage be blessed.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
4. The Abuser and Gas-lighter
These types of husbands are insecure. His insecurities are exhibited in being a control freak. He can’t allow his wife to have friends as everybody is a suspect. He resorts to abusive words and mental torture to put his wife under. He barrages her with words, constantly eroding her self-esteem till she believes she is good for nothing.
In some cases, domestic violence is involved as he would often go to any extent to tame his wife. This type of abuse may continue until he seeks help for his defects which he never sees or agrees with. This is why every marriage must have a mentor.
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These! Ola, who was not speaking to his wife for days, buried himself in work. On the surface, the Johnson family appeared to be the epitome of the ideal couple, admired by everyone. Their marriage seemed to have been meticulously planned out by the heavens. They were considered as role models for the younger generation due to their top-notch PDA!
However, all of this was merely superficial! Ola Johnson was not happy! They despised each other when alone in the house. Ola would not speak to his wife for days, and Kelly Johnson was confounded as to how her once romantic husband had become so emotionally shut down towards her.
Despite putting on a show for the public, they were wrecked at home. They kept up with social media appearances while their reality was crumbling!
The order of the day was strife. Small actions would result in massive provocations. They both knew that they could not keep going on like this. Ola was unyielding. Their sex life lacked emotion, and the few times they did engage in it, Kelly could practically read a novel in the meantime!
What went wrong?
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These!
Yesterday, we discussed “5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage.”
Today, we will be examining “5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage.” Ola Johnson had been battered by words. Being a chronic phlegmatic, and his wife the sharp-mouthed choleric, he felt the only safe recourse was to resort to intimacy anorexia. He withheld his affection because he felt disrespected, and he believed his wife would not change!
The Ola Johnsons would undoubtedly require therapy!
But what were Kelly Johnson’s mistakes? These are some of the phrases she used repeatedly!
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These!
1. ”I feel you are not being a man in this marriage.”
This statement would undoubtedly crush his ego, rendering him powerless since we are dealing with personalities here.
2. ”Why can’t you learn from Mr. So-and-so?”
Never compare your husband with another man. The outcome will not be pleasant.
3. ”With the way you’re going, I’m not sure you can provide for me and the family.”
Avoid making such statements to your fiance or husband. If you know you love him and are led by God, you should intercede for one another.
4. ”You’re just slow and lazy. All you do is sleep and watch football.”
Your fiance or husband will not take kindly to these words being repeated in their ears. Such words will not cause them to change either.
5. ”I made a mistake marrying you. I never had to suffer like this in my parents’ house. Why did you marry me if you knew you couldn’t take care of me?”
If you understand the principle of becoming one flesh in marriage, you will not even speak in this manner!
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These!
Refer to 1 Pet 3:2 in the Amplified Version for further insight!
That concludes this morning’s discourse. It is worth noting that this devotional is not intended to justify unhealthy spouse habits, but rather to emphasize that wrong, inappropriate words uttered in marriage can jeopardize the survival of that marriage!
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using. Marriage can be a challenging journey, and it requires more than just love to make it work. Communication is key, but not all words are equal in their impact. In fact, some words should never be uttered by men to their wives or fiancées. Why? Because they can be like piercing swords in the heart of your partner, causing irreparable damage to your relationship.
Take the example of Bode and Sade. They got married a few years back, attracted to each other’s different personalities. Bode was the introvert, while Sade was the vivacious one. However, over time, their marriage hit rocky shores, and their once-exciting relationship turned sour. What happened?
It turns out that Bode and Sade had different expectations coming into the marriage. They also had different experiences growing up, with Bode exposed to negative utterances and vituperations, while Sade grew up in a family where abusive words were never used. When Bode dished out harsh words, Sade withdrew into her shell, and the excitement that once attracted Bode disappeared. As frustrations mounted, Bode continued to use harsh words, oblivious to the fact that his words were hurting his wife.
This scenario is all too common in marriages, and it’s essential to be mindful of the words we use. To that end, here are five things that men should never say to their wives or fiancées.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
1. ”I thought I married a joyful wife. You are obviously a sadist.”
This statement is a classic example of how not to communicate with your partner. By calling your wife a sadist, you are not only being hurtful, but you are also undermining her character. Your role as the priest of the house is to encourage and uplift your partner, not to tear her down with your words.
2. ”I don’t like the way you make stupid mistakes. I am having doubts about this wedding/marriage.”
This statement is a recipe for disaster. By expressing doubts about the marriage, you are creating unnecessary tension and anxiety in your relationship. Instead of attacking your partner, try to understand why they are making mistakes and offer support to help them improve.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
3. ”You are too slow for me. With the way we are going, we won’t last in this relationship/marriage.”
These words are not only hurtful but also have the potential to become self-fulfilling prophecies. By speaking negative words over your relationship, you are setting the stage for its failure. Remember, words are powerful, and what you speak, you attract.
4. ”What is wrong with you? You keep making mistakes every day. Are you sure you are okay?”
This statement is a direct attack on your partner’s self-esteem and can lead to self-doubt and low self-confidence. Instead of criticizing your partner, try to understand their struggles and offer a helping hand.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
5. ”I am not sure you are well brought up. My mum is not like this. She is not lazy and she took care of my dad!”
Comparing your partner to someone else, especially your mother, is a big no-no. It’s disrespectful and can make your partner feel inadequate. Remember, your partner is not your mother, and it’s unfair to hold them to the same standards.
In conclusion, marriage requires intentional communication and a willingness to speak the truth in love. Harsh words have no place in a healthy relationship, and it’s important to be mindful of the impact our words can have on our partners. By choosing our words carefully, we can create a positive and loving environment that fosters growth and happiness in our relationships.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound. Ade met Sally and professed his love. He was all over her. Six months later, Sally was heartbroken. Ade became her enemy. There have been several kisses, but they were kisses of an enemy.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson got married two years ago. Mr. Johnson had a bad habit that only his wife knows. His wife was on his case until he began to make changes. His ego was bruised, and his pride was punctured, but he got better. He was wounded, but they were wounds of a friend.
The scripture is filled with God’s wisdom. There is enough wisdom in God’s word such that, if followed, crises in relationships and marriages will be minimized.
Let’s take a look at the scripture
Pro 27:6 (KJV) Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound
There is an obvious contradiction in the verse above. I would have understood if the Bible says “The kisses of a friend and the wounds of an enemy. But the scripture says “Wounds of a friend and the kisses of an enemy.”
The friend comes with wounds. The enemy comes with kisses.
Your lover or spouse will often come with wounds, yet he meant well. Corrections and confrontations will burst your ego, will dissolve your pride, and will challenge your weakness zone! You will feel wounded either in courtship or marriage because that which you are used to is being unsettled.
Never refuse instructions from your spouse because your spouse knows you in and out.
Pro 15:32 (KJV) He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound
Get ready to be wounded by those who love you! The one decorating you with kisses only is actually an enemy! The one that doesn’t correct you and tells you what you want to hear all the time is an enemy.
True love can be tough. God chastises those He loves! It pleased God for Jesus to be wounded so that we might be saved. It took a kiss from Judas for Jesus to be betrayed.
A kiss came from the devil because the Bible says Satan entered Judas. But a wound came from God to Jesus. He was wounded for our transgressions!
Your friend is a “wounder” and your enemy is a “kisser! Know this and know peace!
When you understand these dynamics, you will know that your spouse is not an enemy, the one who is not your spouse but is taking advantage and telling you stuff is actually an enemy!
Love Before And After Wedding: Why Falling in Love with the Wrong Person is Dangerous
Love is a beautiful feeling that everyone desires to experience. However, falling in love with the wrong person can have disastrous consequences. In this article, we will discuss the dangers of falling in love with the wrong person and why married couples must keep the love burning before and after the wedding.
Why fall in love with another person’s spouse?
Falling in love with another person’s spouse is not only immoral but also dangerous. Such desires waste your time, blind you to the original thing God wants to do in your life, and ultimately bring a delay in God’s individual plan for you. Besides, you will be endangering your life, and the wrath of a man or woman whose spouse is being trifled with is not something to experience.
It’s the same when you have sex with your neighbor’s wife: Touch her and you’ll pay for it. No excuses. Adultery is a brainless act, soul–destroying, self–destructive; Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good (Proverbs 6:29,32-33 Message)
Why fall in love with a person you cannot spend your life with?
Falling in love with someone you cannot spend your life with is a recipe for disaster. If you don’t like him or her, but you are in love, then something is amiss. If you know that he or she doesn’t like you but you are in love, then it’s time to apply the brakes.
You should not fall in love with a person who violates God’s principles, even if your parents, friends, or pastor approve of the relationship. Remember, you cannot love a person you don’t like.
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
Why fall in love with a man because of money?
Money cannot buy love, and falling in love with a man because of money is the wrong purpose for sticking together. Such a man will eventually fail you because man is built to disappoint. Therefore, do not attempt to make a man your Jehovah Jireh.
Married Couples – Love Before And After Wedding
Marriage is a sacred institution that requires deliberate effort to keep the love burning. Married couples must fall in love with each other repeatedly to protect themselves from intense temptations and traps that are out there.
Do not allow the fire to go out in your marriage. Be creative, and never stop wooing each other. Take yourselves out again, toast each other again, get the flowers, and write the poems again! When you make that sacrifice for each other, you will have peace of mind in your marriage and be able to maximize the power of agreement that lies in a good marriage.
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
What do you do when you find yourself in love with the wrong person?
If you find yourself in love with the wrong person, it’s time to walk away, run away, or fly away. Do not allow emotional connections to keep you in the wrong relationship.
You must save your soul by delivering yourself as a roe from the hand of the hunter and as a bird from the hand of the fowler (Proverbs 6:5).
Even though it can be uneasy, you must think about the inevitable agony that lies ahead, the consequences of disobedience that are sure to come, the disenfranchising of oneself from the favor and support of God, and the delay of God’s beautiful plan. When you sum them together, you will muster enough strength to fly away and say a “strong NO” to a wrong lifestyle. The beauty of it all is that God will be waiting to embrace you and make all things right!
Conclusion
In conclusion, falling in love before and after the wedding is a beautiful thing that can add depth and meaning to our lives. However, it is important to remember that not all love is created equal, and we must be discerning in our affections.
Falling in love with someone who is already married, for example, is not only morally wrong, but it can also lead to serious consequences and heartbreak for all parties involved. Likewise, falling in love with someone for their money or status is not true love and will ultimately lead to disappointment.
For married couples, falling in love with your spouse over and over again is an essential part of keeping the fire alive in your marriage. It takes effort and creativity, but the rewards are immeasurable.
And for those who find themselves in love with the wrong person, it is important to have the strength to walk away and choose a better path. By doing so, we can find true love and happiness in God’s plan for our lives.
Wrong Sources of Marital Advice. Marriage is an institution built on trust, respect, and communication. When two people decide to spend their lives together, they vow to be there for each other in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad. However, sometimes things can go wrong, and communication can break down. When this happens, it is not uncommon for one or both partners to turn to other people for advice or support. But how do you know if you are seeking advice from the wrong voices in your marriage? In this article, we will explore some of the signs that you may be seeking advice from the wrong people and offer some tips on how to find the right ones.
Your friends are biased
It is natural to turn to your friends for advice, but sometimes their advice can be biased. Your friends may have their own issues in their relationships that they are projecting onto your situation. Alternatively, they may have always had a negative view of your partner, which could color their advice. While your friends may mean well, it is essential to recognize that their advice may not always be objective.
Wrong Sources of Marital Advice
You turn to family members
Family members can also be biased. They may have their own issues with your partner or their own agenda. For example, if your parents went through a bad divorce, they may be overly protective and want to steer you away from any potential problems. While family members can be a great source of support, it is important to recognize their biases and take their advice with a grain of salt.
You seek advice from online forums
The internet can be a great resource for advice, but it can also be a breeding ground for misinformation. Online forums are often filled with anonymous people who may not have any qualifications or expertise in relationship counseling. It can be challenging to know who is offering sound advice and who is just trolling.
Wrong Sources of Marital Advice
You consult with co-workers
Your co-workers may be great people to commiserate with, but they are not necessarily relationship experts. Additionally, office politics can come into play, and your co-workers may have their own agenda. It is essential to keep work and personal life separate and not let office gossip influence your decisions.
You turn to social media
Social media can be a great tool for connecting with people, but it is not always the best place to seek advice. Social media is often filled with people who may not know you or your situation, and they may be quick to offer their opinions without having all the facts. Additionally, social media can be an echo chamber, where you are only hearing opinions that confirm your biases.
So, if these are the wrong voices, who are the right ones? The right voices are those who have experience and qualifications in relationship counseling. These may include licensed therapists, counselors, and coaches. Additionally, couples who have successfully navigated similar issues can be a great source of support and advice. Finally, it is essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Your partner is the one who knows you and your situation the best, and they should be your primary source of support.
Experiencing a breakup or divorce is not something anyone desires or looks forward to. As a matter of fact, God hates divorce, and it is not His best for His children. However, in some cases, it happens, and the aftermath of such events is usually filled with hurt, betrayal, pain, regret, and heartache. It doesn’t matter who is at fault; what’s essential is getting healed from every hurt. With God’s help, you can overcome the pain and come out stronger. In the name of Jesus, He will give you double for your trouble, and you will forget all your past hurts.
Here are five ways to handle your ‘Ex’ as a single or married person so that you can become a better person rather than a bitter one.
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
When Your Ex Won’t Let Go
1. Acknowledge that the relationship has ended
Some people may hold onto the hope that something might happen to bring them back together. However, if your ‘Ex’ is not willing, there is nothing you can do to change that. Denial will only keep you stuck in the past, preventing you from moving forward. You need to let go of the past to embrace the new. Just like God recognized the death of Moses before Joshua could take over, you need to recognize that the relationship is over before you can move on.
When Your Ex Won’t Let Go
2. Minimize all forms of communication
You need to reduce all forms of communication to the barest minimum, such as visits, calls, chats, and texts. Maintaining contact with your ‘Ex’ can lead to double dating and cheating on your new partner, which will only cause more hurt and pain. Some ‘Exes’ might want to continue enjoying your company without committing to you. Don’t fall for this trap, as it will only waste your time and hurt you even more. Avoid checking their social media updates to keep up with their lives or getting jealous when you see them with someone else. Let them be and move on.
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
When Your Ex Won’t Let Go
3. Learn from your past relationship
The best way to overcome the pain and hurt from a past relationship is to learn from it. Don’t let the devil have the last laugh by dwelling on the past. Take the time to reflect on the mistakes you made and learn from them. Don’t rush into another relationship or try to prove a point. Instead, go at God’s pace and ask yourself questions like What went wrong? What were the wrong choices I made? These questions are not meant to depress you but to make you wiser. Learn about human behavior and tendencies, how to treat a lover, and put God at the top of your priority list.
For those who have been married once, divorce should not be an option. However, in some cases, it may be necessary when there is violence and abuse involved or when reconciliation is no longer possible. In addition to the tips mentioned above, forgiveness is key to moving on.
Bitterness will only crush you more, so get healed. Do not use your children as a tool to fight back, as this can plant bitterness in their hearts.
In Jesus’ name, I pray that God will give you the strength to fight for your marriage, and may He restore that which is lost and fill your mouth with laughter again.
How To Satisfy Your Wife: Tips for Better Communication, Romance, and Bedroom
Marriage is a beautiful union, but it takes work to keep it strong and healthy. As a husband, one of your primary responsibilities is to make sure your wife is happy and satisfied. In this devotional, we’ll discuss some tips on how to satisfy your wife sexually and emotionally.
How To Satisfy Your Wife
1. Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is key to a happy and healthy marriage. Here are some tips to help you communicate more effectively with your wife or fiancee
a. Empathic listening Listen actively and attentively. Put yourself in her shoes when she is talking.
b. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements “You” statements can come across as accusatory, so you might want to avoid that.
c. Avoid interrupting your wife My wife, for example, doesn’t like me to interrupt her when she is talking. Even saying “okay” too many times is an interruption for her. It took me years to learn this.
d. Be open and honest Be transparent. Once your wife sees that you are dishonest, you will break her trust and that can really be counterproductive.
e. Respect each other’s opinions and feelings Do not dismiss her opinions even if they sounded “stupid” to you! Please take note of this and thank me later!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
How To Satisfy Your Wife
2. Prioritize Romance
The second thing you want to take note of is this. Romance is an important part of any marriage. Here are some ways to keep the romance alive:
a. Surprise your wife with small gestures, like bringing her favorite snacks or leaving her a romantic poem for her
b. Plan date nights. This helps you to be deliberate about your marriage.
c. Show physical affection, like hugging and kissing. This shouldn’t be difficult. Is that what every man wants?
d. Do things together that you both enjoy. Find mutual activities and dive into it.
Dear singles, don’t even try to take “romance” to the physical level. Be nice, and courteous, and understand that you are the protector of her body, not the violator of it!
How To Satisfy Your Wife
3. Keep the Sex Life Interesting
Singles, keep sex out completely. It’s not even on the menu!
For couples, a healthy sex life is crucial to any marriage. Here are some tips to spice things up in the bedroom:
a. Communicate openly about your desires. Deal with inhibitions.
b. Try new things, like different positions, but don’t break somebody’s daughter’s legs!
c. Take your time and focus on foreplay. She needs an average of twenty minutes foreplay unless you are doing a quickie!
d. Be attentive to your wife’s needs and desires. That helps her to be responsive in bed.
How To Satisfy Your Wife
4. Show Appreciation
Showing appreciation is an important part of any relationship. Here are some ways to show your wife how much you appreciate her:
a. Compliment her. Do this deliberately, Single or Married.
b. Say “thank you” Do not take her for granted, no matter how “little,” you think the effort is.
c. Do things for her without being asked. Be creative.
This is where we will stop today!
By following these tips, you can improve your relationship with your wife and keep your marriage strong and healthy. Remember to communicate effectively, prioritize romance, keep the sex life interesting, and show appreciation for your wife.
If only men can take their place, if only they can be responsible, if only they can lead rightly, we will surely have fewer broken marriages and damaged hearts!
Men are important! Daddies are precious. Fathers are golden!
Most young ladies today have serious defects in their lives because of absentee fathers or non-existent ones, and they, in turn, take this pain and transmit it in raising their own sons thereby perpetuating an anomaly into generations!
Oh that men would realize that which is committed unto them
Oh, that man would know that their carelessness does not end with them but initiates a crazy network of consequences that affects the wife, the children, and everybody around!
Where are the men?
Our text today which inspired all I have written above is taken from
Song of Solomon 2:3 (KJV) As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
My Husband Stands Out Like An Apple Tree
Let me quickly point out three things here:
An apple tree among other trees
An apple tree is different from all other trees because of the uniqueness of immense benefits encapsulated in the apple. So should men be!
When a single guy is like an apple tree, he is not like other guys who just want sex, who are just looking for fun, and who don’t mind taking advantage of ladies.
When a married man is like an apple tree, he is different from all other trees, he wouldn’t cheat on his wife and he would not violate the sanctity of their marital covenant!
My Husband Stands Out Like An Apple Tree
2. I sat down under his shadow with great delight
As a man, your shadow should bring shade and comfort to that lady, not the agony of heart!
The lady should find a great sense of security and peace under the protective covering of her beloved. She should feel sheltered and shaded; that she is no longer at the mercy of others, but now under his care.
My Husband Stands Out Like An Apple Tree
3. His fruit was sweet to my taste
The fruits of his spirit should align with the fruit of the spirit. His character should be sweet to her taste!
The remembrance of every single guy should be a sweet taste to the fiancee, not memories of abuse, rape, and violence!
The remembrance of every husband to his wife should bring sweetness to the palette, not regret and acute bitterness!
Lord, give our singles ladies men like apple trees among other trees!
Lord, make the husbands of our women, choice men, apple trees among other trees, bringing security and peace, sweetness and bliss in Jesus’ name!
In your journey of life, you are going to meet “destiny opposers!”
They just don’t like your face or anything you stand for!
It doesn’t matter if you are nice or not, as a matter of fact, some of these opposers are those you have been benefactors to one way or the other, which even makes it more painful.
Those you brought help to who are now bringing hell back to you!
They are all over the place in life and in marriage!
They could be your exes, mentees, or even mentors. It could be whichever way!
What about if you are very close to God? Oh, that is even when you attract them like bees.
Well, in one way, it’s also an orchestration of the devil to keep you distracted, un-focused, and disorganized.
If you wait to fight the set of people or pay them some attention, you might end up slowing yourself down.
How do you deal with this set of people?
Apostle Paul had someone like that! How did he deal with the person?
Let’s take a look.
2 Timothy 4:14-15 (KJV) Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works: [15] Of whom be thou ware also; for he hath greatly withstood our words.
So much evil was done to Apostle Paul. It must have been very painful for him to document it.
But what did he do? He handed him over to God.
Why is this the best thing to do?
It is the best to do because that will keep you away from unnecessary hurts and bitterness, which of course can hinder prayers.
It is also the best thing to do because God is a righteous judge and He can be trusted to retribute back to men according to His justice system, which cannot be faulted.
Did you learn something today? Have a fantastic day ahead of you!
Fireworks to Fizzle: Why Love Wanes and Butterflies Die
Comfort and Danny were so much in love when they met on campus. Their love seemed so genuine as they richly engaged in the public display of affection.
Their love was contagious such that those who saw them fell in love with their love!
It was a story of “till death do us part: until they got married and discovered that death is even weak. There were other things that “did them part!”
No need to wait for death again, they were ready to part!
Fireworks to Fizzle: Why Love Wanes and Butterflies Die
The love has waned. The butterflies have injured their wings and some have died. The wine of love is dissipated and nobody wants to refill. The fickle feelings could no longer be tickled.
Their mere appearance to each other used to lighten their countenance now brings gloom.
What happened?
One of the things that happened to Danny and Comfort is that their love was purely romance-based. They did not understand Agape love.
So when different things kicked in, the romance flew out of the window and their love collapsed like a pack of cards.
While Romance is essential, do not ignore the book of Romans!
Fireworks to Fizzle: Why Love Wanes and Butterflies Die
The agape love is God’s kind of love that is unconditional!
This love is so powerful because it is the very nature of God. It is a love that forgives quickly, that doesn’t do tit for tat, that loves irrespective of weaknesses.
The Agape loves decides to love whether there is feeling or not.
The agape love can’t see side chicks. The agape love is too focused to entertain any distraction.
The agape love doesn’t cheat. The agape love simply loves their spouse without apologies.
This is what sustains marriage after a wedding! The wind may blow, the storm may rage, and the butterflies may disappear, but ensure you stay grounded on agape love and you will be good!
agapaō
Definition: of persons: to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly to love, value, esteem, feel or manifest generous concern for, be faithful towards; to delight in, to set store upon
True love is never a straight course. On, there are winding roads, there are stops, there are resting places there are places for refuel, there are moments of flat tires, there are moments of complete engine breakdown.
The good news? If you stay together, you easily navigate this stormy and windy moment of the marital journey.
Still, on the scripture, we looked at yesterday,
Song of Solomon 2:1-2 (KJV) I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. [2] As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
Exploring the Trajectory of True Love
Lily of the Valley and the Rose of Sharon are two separate plants with distinctive traits.
Hibiscus syriacus, sometimes known as the rose of Sharon, is a blooming shrub that normally reaches heights of 8 to 10 feet. It produces big, spectacular blooms in the late summer and early fall. The flowers are available in several hues, such as white, pink, blue, and purple.
Whereas, the perennial herbaceous lily of the valley reaches a height of 6 to 12 inches. Little bell-shaped flowers that bloom in the spring can be found on them.
In the same way, you will not always gain the height in marriage. Yes, there will be high moments, as the rose of Sharon, but there will also be low moments as the lily of the valleys.
Rose or lily, your love must be constant and unchanging!
True love ensures you do not abandon your spouse when they come with the garb of the lily of the valley! Rather you join hands together, to navigate your way out of the valley!
Exploring the Trajectory of True Love
For singles, looking for roses and avoiding the lilies is a mistake, because in no time, the rose lover may soon find themselves in the lily moments and vice versa. It is important to love the person and not just the shape, fragrance, and aroma of the rose.
The hips will not always be like that. The lips change sizes during pregnancy. Figure eight often morphs into figure football!
Stop looking for the rose, look for God’s direction. It is only God that knows the rose that will still “rose” you fifty years down the line!
Ade and Sade! What a rhyme in their nomenclature! The rotundity of her backside gives you goose pimples. The strength of veins in his arm tickled your insides. Their love seemed made out of the very heavens, when they met! Everything seemed to click. The lips, hips and tips all fell in place! Their heats would vibrate upon setting eyes on each other! They eventually got married, and then the winds and the storms arrived in quick successions. Their love were tried. They vacillated between the cross road of “ Irreconcilable differences” and “My marriage will not crash”
Their love became doubtful. They spoke angrily to each other. Hot words were thrown as arrows, causing damages within.
What happened?
The Rose and The Lily of Our Love Life
They started with the rose but could not handle the lily!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
The rose of Sharon talks about the beauty, the effulgence of cuteness and prettiness all rolled together. This is what often bring you together.
You so much loved one another that nobody else existed. Even God was sometimes put at bay! Baba nla mistake!
You both wanted to stay with the fragrance, shape and the aroma of the rose! The rotundity of her backside gives you goose pimples. The strength of veins in his arm tickled your insides.
Life seems like a perpetual ecstasy!
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
The Rose and The Lily of Our Love Life
I remember promising my fiancee back then, in 1996, after I asked her out, that I will never quarrel with her, because I loved her so much. Was I drunk? Probably drunk in love!
Have we quarrelled? Ha! O ti poju! You start promising all kind of impossible things because of rush or adrenalin.
Till you discover that life is mountain and valleys!
The problem is that there are no roses in the valleys! You would be inundated with lilies!
Song of Solomon 2:1-2 (KJV) I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. [2] As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
Surrounded by marital thorns, you became overwhelmed.
You now begin to ask funny questions.
Did I really hear God?
Haba! You did not hear God and you went down the aisle, forsook, your parents, dropped their names and took another, cried some crocodile tears on wedding day, and exploded into joy and laughter as you proceeded to honey moon!
Haba! You heard God! Or who did you hear before you took all that risk!
Life is about roses and lilies! Mountains and Valleys!
In the valley, stay together and navigate your way back to the Mountain!
Don’t drop your spouse because the roses seemed to have died and you are choked in between thorns!
Marriage is about staying other, through thick and thin!
This matter is deep o, but I will rest it here and we will still visit it!
Sister Sade can pray for Africa. She prays so much that people drop prayer points with her. What about Bro Sunday? He can pray from Sunday to Sunday!
It was said of Bro. Sunday that when he was praying, he can stay in one spot and be vibrating his head for seven hours straight!
There was also this brother that loves to pray on the roadside and would often wander into the bush still praying. The day he impregnated one precious sister was when we knew he had other missions in that bush he would always enter!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
There is frustration with a lot of people who pray but really do not get answers!
A lot of married couples pray, but are just doing it religiously because a tenth of their prayers was not really answered!
What could be wrong?
Let’s take a look at the scripture!
Matthew 6:7-9 (MSG)
[7] “The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. [8] Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. [9] With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, Reveal who you are.
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
Strengthening Your Bond: From Prayer to Forever
Take a look at what we can get from the above scripture:
Amazing! Prayer warriors can be prayer ignorant!
Formulas, programmes, advice, and peddling techniques will not work in prayer
It says all that above is nonsense
You are dealing with a Father, not a tyrant of some stranger god!
God knows what you need, better than you know it!
God loves
Prayer begins with “Who He is,” not “give me this or that!”
Having identified the above, what can you get from there? I am sure the Holy Spirit will reveal a lot of things to you, but what I want to point out is this:
In prayer, it is more of a relationship with God than requests for something!
You are dealing with a father!
Strengthening Your Bond: From Prayer to Forever
Go after that fellowship, the revelation of His person, a friendship with divinity, spend time in His presence seeking to know Him in relationships or marriage, and a whole lot of prayers would be answered.
You begin to know God as one that could do exceedingly abundantly above all you can ASK of THINK!
Don’t just ask and run off! Seek Him. Pant after Him! Genuinely, and you will begin to break the seals and the scrolls will be shown to you!
