Do You Truly Desire Your Lover? The Johnsons have been married for a while. Too many quarrels riddled their marriage and they are at their wits’ end.
Bode and Sally who have been in a relationship for two years are also at a point where they want out. They feel they have exhausted all possibilities.
Yesterday, I admonish us from a scripture:
Mat 8:5 (KJV) And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him,
I explained that Jesus entered, Capernaum, and the centurion came unto him. Jesus entrance wasn’t enough to complete the cycle of an intervention, the centurion had to go to him.
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But I want to talk to singles and married this morning, that after Jesus entered, the centurion came, there is still one more thing to do.
Do You Truly Desire Your Lover?
The scripture says that the centurion came, BESEECHING Him!
One of the meaning of the root word is “Desire”
Do you really desire your partner?
Or is somebody distracting you out there and messing up with the “desire juice’ meant for your partner?
Have you really beseeched the Lord about your relationship or marriage?
When last did you pray together? I mean together, not some isolated grumbling where you are asking God to judge your partner speedily! If possible, kill him joor!
Ha! Has it come to that?
Marriage is such a strong one flesh arrangement that any prayer you offer against your spouse is a prayer against yourself.
Before you conclude, on separation or divorce, Have you allowed Jesus to enter? Have you gone to Jesus? Have you beseeched Him?
Do You Truly Desire Your Lover?
There is a price to pay for a blissful marriage. It is never automatic.
There are things to do. Beseeching involves exploring all forms of communication, counseling, therapy, counsels and all.
Not that you are ready to drop your spouse like hot potatoes at the slightest provocation.
Go to the Lord with genuine desire for your relationship and marriage and beseech Him.
I pray that God grants you more understanding!
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Crossing the Divide: An Entrance And A Coming. You are born again. Your spouse or fiancee is born again. You both go to church. And for that, you believe so much it’s going to be living joyfully ever after.
But it didn’t turn out to be. Issues arose. Differences spiked. Hot voluptuous words were vociferously exchanged. Things fell apart quickly and in an unbelievable happenstance, the one you loved so much became the one you are irritated with so much.
You could not reconcile the days he used to show up with chocolates and gifts with the present day he would show up with frowns and a cranky attitude.
He complains about everything.
She is so disrespectful.
He is so insensitive and uncaring.
She doesn’t know how to cook again. Her soup is now sour.
He simply deceived me. How did I fall for his lies? He really didn’t love me.
The both of you begin to wonder how you claim to have Jesus and all of this is happening.
Crossing the Divide: An Entrance And A Coming
Well, let me admonish you from one verse the Holy Spirit quickened to me early in my prayer time this morning.
Mat 8:5 (KJV) And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him,
Just as Jesus entered Capernaum, He did enter your lives. But that is not the end of the story.
That verse went on to posit, that there came unto Him…
It is not enough that Jesus entered your lives, now you must come unto Him.
Both of you.
Consciously. Deliberately.
Crossing the Divide: An Entrance And A Coming
You must seek Him in your relationship and marriage, and involve Him in all you do.
You may be an expert lover boy or lover babe, but your romantic dexterity will not be enough to navigate the complex waters of marital endeavor.
So daily, if possible, hourly, you call on Him, you converse, you listen, and you heed His instructions.
After nearly 24 years after wedding my wife, I can tell you this works.
Put Him first place. Honour Him and then you will know how to Honour one another.
Good morning. I still love you all.
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Number One Quality To Look Out For. Do you really want to know? Having been married for 24 years, I can tell you that quality is Meekness! It is one quality that will help your relationship last longer! Meekness means being submissive, and teachable. It does not mean being weak or weak-willed; rather, it is strength under control. The dictionary says that meekness can be seen as having or showing a quiet and gentle nature; not wanting to fight or argue with other people.
Let’s take a look at the scriptures: 1Pe 3:3-4 (KJV) Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [4] But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a MEEK and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Number One Quality To Look Out For
Here the scriptures advise that besides beauty, which is evident in adorning the hair, use of jewelry, and nice wear, let there be an adorning of the heart as well–this is an ornament of MEEKNESS (or being MEEK). You see, we all come into relationships and marriages with baggage–unwanted thoughts and feelings from past emotional upheavals, tensions arising from strained relationships in the past, highly opinionated postures emanating from parental upbringing, warped ideas resulting from emotional, verbal, sexual, and physical abuses.
To be teachable and submissive is the only way to make it in a relationship or marriage. A hard posture and statue-like stance will almost always destroy any relationship or marriage. Flexibility and willingness to adjust and learn new things will go a long way to add spice and fun to your relationship or marriage. Beware of opinionated, stubborn, and unwilling to change-partners!
Even as a child of God, your success is predicated on the continual renewal of your mind with the word of God. This constant transformation has to be taking place. That is why you go to church; that’s why we send you KHC devotional daily; that’s why you should read your Bible daily.
Number One Quality To Look Out For 2Co 3:18 (KJV) But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.
If you are already in a relationship or married, that is one way to start changing. You cannot change your lover or spouse; if you attempt it, you will be frustrated. But with the word of God and its study, anybody can make a change in his or her life.
God loves those who are meek and teachable! Psa 25:9 (KJV) The meek will He guide in judgment: and the meek will He teach his way.
The meek person will always rise to the top in any situation. Psalms 147:6 (KJV) The LORD lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground.
The point is that you should look out for a meek lover.
Beware of any lover who doesn’t want to be taught, who is not submissive to any authority, and that his or her parents cannot talk to.
One of the saddest statements I have heard in counseling sessions was when a person said their spouse doesn’t listen to anybody, not even their parents!
Do not marry anybody who is not accountable to someone! If you do, you are on your own!
Who do you report Them to when there are issues?
Good Morning!
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Pay Attention: Don’t Dismiss These Statements. At work, Mrs. Johnson became sidetracked and started falling for another man. Despite her sincere love for God, she was losing ground. She found it hard to believe. Her emotions were like a roller coaster, and her mind was chaotic. Her spouse didn’t understand the delicate predicament she was in despite her repeated attempts to communicate it to him in very subtle ways.
George, who was seeing Sandy, was, however, being sidetracked by another woman. In an effort to combat the new feelings, he tried to obtain Sandy’s attention. However, Sandy was busy, which made him more vulnerable.
The truth is that comments made by married people or single people who are courting frequently reveal the depth of the trap in a marriage or relationship.
Your words can frequently disclose the types of problems you have and need to address, even if you are single and not in a relationship.
There are distractions. There are several types of traps. There are constant psychological and marital assaults.
Demonically planted traps, similar to those used to catch rats, are everywhere. Snares practically everywhere you turn.
There are some comments your partner or sweetheart makes that indicate they are preoccupied and need your attention.
In these situations, you need to be there for your partner since without you, nothing will get better.
What are these statements?
Pay Attention: Don’t Dismiss These Statements
1. You’re too busy to see me again
Your partner is constantly around you, so why does he or she say this? You must pay attention to avoid having someone else emotionally fill your position. This statement is asking you to free up some time so your partner or spouse can receive assurance that will help them cope with their new wave of emotions.
Don’t disregard it!
Stop defending!
Avoid arguing!
Make time to engage in some thought-provoking dialogue.
Let me say something to single people who are not involved in a relationship.
A single friend who says this to you is attempting to express interest while gauging your response to determine whether to pursue or back off. Analyzing the situation!
So you may respond with “no thanks” if you don’t like the individual and aren’t thinking about making any obligations.
The response will either be a green or red light.
Pay Attention: Don’t Dismiss These Statements
2. You are far from where I am.
Don’t take this statement from your partner lightly. Avoid getting into a battle or a disagreement. Pay attention to what is said and what is not stated.
Even though you may be physically close to the person you love, your emotional distance from them may be great. Couples who share a bed frequently lament their loneliness for this reason. Seems absurd, right? It is the truth!
This person is trying to tell you that the more emotionally distant you are, the larger the void you leave for others to fill.
Prioritize your relationship with your partner, married couples.
There is a twist to this phrase for individuals who are dating but are not yet married. You need to determine whether the statement is sincere or just an invitation to indulge in sex. Here, prudence and tact are required. God bless you!
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Two Signs of A Toxic Marriage. Similar to how an ailment can afflict an individual without becoming evident for some time, a marriage can be unhealthy without the obvious manifestation of underlying issues.
Nonetheless, signs are bound to reveal themselves. Although there are numerous warning signs, we shall examine a few this morning.
Two Signs of A Toxic Marriage
1. Lack of a Spiritual Connection
A marriage in which the couple does not have a spiritual connection with God is likely to deteriorate with time.
Building a successful home necessitates the involvement of a higher power.
Psalm 127:1 (KJV) states, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.”
It is only through the intervention of God that a house can become a home.
It is not enough to have a passing relationship with God; it must be built and nurtured.
This concept also applies to singles who are preparing to meet or are already in a courtship with their beloved. Falling in love with someone who does not have a profound spiritual connection is ill-advised.
It is effortless to discern whether an individual has a spiritual connection with God or not. His actions, words, choices, and priorities reveal the kind of person he is.
Don’t settle for just a good-looking partner; aim for a spiritually mature and deep individual.
A man who genuinely knows God will not resort to hitting or beating his wife, while a woman who is familiar with God will not be a perpetual source of annoyance to her husband.
Why did I say this is toxic? A person without a deep relationship with God will have no restraint and will eventually mess things up.
Two Signs of A Toxic Marriage
2. Lack of Accountability
An unaccountable couple is perched atop a keg of gunpowder that could detonate at any moment.
Wisdom is the foundation of life, and every error and setback is a manifestation of foolishness lurking within.
Accountability provides a means to learn from older couples and those who have been in your shoes before.
Falling in love with an unaccountable person is the most dangerous thing one can do in life. To those who have ears, hear now!
The saddest part of counseling is often the conversation that goes like this:
“Who is his/her pastor?” “He does not have a pastor.”
“What about his parents?” “His parents cannot speak to him. He won’t listen.”
“Does he listen to any of his friends?” “None of his friends can talk to him.”
“Then who does he listen to?” “He listens to nobody!”
Once an individual has alienated themselves from all authority figures, isolated themselves from any help, and disconnected themselves from those who can provide guidance, the situation becomes complicated.
Therefore, it is prudent to consider only those who are accountable when seeking a partner. For those already married, it is essential to address accountability lovingly and prayerfully.
This is toxic because marriage without accountability will resort to manipulation and the like, with nobody to correct the ignorance and arrogance that come with a life that is not accountable
May God assist us all.
These are two of the warning signs of an unhealthy marriage. I will be concluding here this morning.
Good morning!
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Vent anonymously, disclose that age-long secret, talk about past abuses and free your mind, open up on marital issues anonymously and seek advice, and so on. All are done anonymously! Questions are answered during REVIVE CONVERSATIONS by 9.00pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Vent or Ask Questions Here – https://khcng.com/vent
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