Top 8 Ways To Find Certainty in Choosing Your Life Partner

Top 8 Ways To Find Certainty in Choosing Your Life Partner

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Top 8 Ways To Find Certainty in Choosing Your Life Partner

Introduction: Proposal Experience.

In advising others on proposing to a lady, I often suggest not emulating my approach. My proposal occurred early one morning, precisely at 6:30 a.m., right after our morning devotions. The setting was the Campus Hall of Popoola Hospital, within the premises of Ogun State University, during the third week of February 1996. Unconventionally, I had not yet bathed, dressed simply in a black trouser, a short-sleeved shirt, and bathroom slippers. The decision to propose at that moment was impulsive, spurred by a vivid vision I had experienced the previous night. The urgency of the vision propelled me to act without delay.

1. Being Certain About Whom to Marry.

Today, I want to delve into the topic of how to be certain about choosing your life partner.

As a tripartite being—composed of spirit, soul, and body—you operate within these three realms, each playing a distinct role in heart matters.

First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that God communicates with you through your spirit. If you seek guidance from the divine, listen closely to the promptings of your inner being, your spirit, or your inner man. This underscores the significance of prayer, particularly praying in the Spirit or speaking in tongues. Engaging in such practices enhances the sensitivity of your inner being, enabling you to discern God’s voice on any matter, including matters of love and marriage thereby enabling you to choose your life partner.

2. Listening to the Inner Being

Indeed, hearing God’s guidance through my inner being was precisely how I discerned that Sophia was destined to be my wife. From the moment I first laid eyes on her, an unmistakable certainty washed over me. It’s akin to tuning in to frequencies on a radio set; as a child of God, you become attuned to divine direction and wisdom.

choosing your life partner

As the scripture affirms in Romans 8:14 (KJV), “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.” This inner knowing, this spiritual leading, is a hallmark of being in tune with God’s will.

However, despite this deep conviction, I took no immediate action for nearly a year. Patience is essential in choosing your life partner.

3. Renewal of the Mind

Within the second realm of existence lies the mind. What God communicates through our inner being, we process through our minds. The extent to which our minds can align with God’s guidance depends on their renewal. This renewal occurs gradually as we immerse ourselves in God’s Word and study diligently. Regular attendance at church and daily devotionals contribute to this process of mind renewal, for the Word of God holds transformative power. This process is essential in choosing your life partner

4. Dealing with Doubts and Fears

In my mind, doubts and fears crept in. Despite my love for Sophia and the conviction in my spirit, I grappled with uncertainties. Questions nagged at me: Was she truly meant to be my wife? Would our union be blessed with children? What if I had misinterpreted the signs?

In such moments of doubt, the remedy lies in returning to the source of the original guidance: the Spirit within. Through prayer in the Spirit, seeking clarity and confirmation, I sought reassurance. Was I on the right path? Was this truly God’s plan for me?

As I prayed, a sense of assurance welled up from within, like a river flowing from my innermost being, washing away the doubts and fears. Yet, if despite my prayers, the fears persisted, and peace remained elusive, it signaled a need for further discernment. It was crucial to ascertain whether God’s leading was indeed guiding me in this direction.

Despite the initial fears and uncertainties, prayer in the Spirit consistently brought clarity and certainty. Each time I prayed, the doubts dissolved, reaffirming my conviction that Sophia was meant to be my wife.




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Top 15 Discoveries About Languages In Marriage

Top 15 Discoveries About Languages In Marriage

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Top 15 Discoveries About Languages In Marriage.

Introduction

Communication issues are one of the leading causes of conflicts in marriage. This article will show you how understanding each other’s languages holds the key to unity. We’ll agree that poor communication strains relationships, identify the main problem as a lack of a shared language, and teach you how to speak your spouse’s love language.

1. The Tower of Babel Incident.

The Bible recounts in Genesis 11 how humanity attempted to build a tower that would reach the heavens. Their shared language and unity enabled this ambitious plan. However, God saw that “nothing will be restrained from them” if left unchecked. So he confounded their language, dividing them through their inability to understand one another. This shows that Languages In Marriage is key.

2. Unity and shared language were factors in their success.

God himself affirmed that the people’s oneness and common tongue were critical to their success. Once their language was tampered with, they could no longer work as one. They had to abandon their vision and scatter as understanding broke down. This shows how vital shared communication is for togetherness.

3. Learn your spouse’s love language through commitment.

There are five primary love languages in marriage: physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service. However, if you only speak your language to your partner, conflicts will persist. You must commit to understanding what makes them feel loved. This requires investment, as learning new languages takes effort.

4. Address issues instead of sweeping them under the carpet.

Rather than postponing problems, couples should face challenges together through open communication. Unresolved tensions will pile up over time like magma under the earth’s crust, ready to erupt in a meltdown. Discussing difficulties daily prevents major volcanic disruptions down the line.

5. Ability to build together and achieve dreams as a team.

When a couple understands each other, they can work as one unit towards common goals. Just as the people at Babel succeeded due to unity, so marriage partners who speak the same languages in marriage in terms of vision can accomplish great things hand in hand.

6. Effective communication and intimacy.

A shared tongue provides the basis for real intimacy where spouses feel heard and known. It allows for resolving conflicts instead of just arguing at cross-purposes. Partners can truly be one flesh through the closeness that results from comprehending each other fully. Effective communication will enhance languages in marriage.

7. Determining Your Love Languages.

If you are unsure of your top love languages or your spouse’s, there are tests available online that can help identify them. Answering simple questions about what makes you feel most loved and appreciated gives highly accurate results. Once you understand each other’s love languages, you have insight into how to better express love in a way that is meaningful to your spouse.

Languages in marriage

8. Speaking Each Other’s Languages.

Making an effort to regularly speak your spouse’s top love languages, even if it is not your natural way of expressing love, goes a long way. It shows you are making them and their needs a priority. For example, if your spouse’s language is acts of service, help out more with household chores without being asked. If it is words of affirmation, give more compliments and express appreciation for who they are. Consistently speaking love languages fosters emotional intimacy.

9. Aspects of Communication.

The way we communicate with our spouse, both verbally and nonverbally, greatly impacts the relationship. Being aware of tone, body language, listening skills, and word choices helps foster understanding and resolve conflicts.

10. Tone and Body Language.

It is easy to overlook, but our tone of voice and body language convey a strong message. Speaking to our spouse in a respectful tone and maintaining open body posture, like facing them directly instead of crossed arms, signals we are engaged and care about what they have to say. It is just as important as the words themselves.

11. Listening to Understand.

When our spouse shares how they feel, the goal should be to understand their perspective rather than just thinking of our reply. Make eye contact, nod occasionally, and ask clarifying questions to show you are actively listening. Refrain from interrupting and give them your full attention. This validates their emotions and makes them feel heard.

12. Choosing Words Wisely.

We must consider how our words impact our spouse’s self-esteem and the relationship. Saying hurtful criticisms or insults does long-lasting damage and breeds resentment. Instead, use encouraging words that build them up. Compliment their good qualities and efforts. When addressing problems, focus on behaviors and not their character.

13. Handling Frustrations in a Godly Way.

Even with understanding and good communication skills, frustrations will inevitably arise at some point in any marriage. It is how we respond that determines the outcome. The proper languages in marriage can be learned.

14. Taking Time to Cool Off.

If tensions are high, the best thing is to take a break from the discussion until emotions have settled. Harsh words or accusations said in anger often do damage that is difficult to repair. We must remember not to make life-changing decisions, like divorce, during a temporary emotional state.

15. Praying Together for Wisdom.

In challenging times, seeking God’s wisdom and relying on His peace is key. Pray together, read scripture, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts, words, and actions. His supernatural help enables spouses to respond to each other in a Christ-like manner of patience, kindness, and self-control, even when they don’t feel like it. Resolving conflicts in a godly way through understanding, communication, and prayer strengthens the marriage foundation and builds an atmosphere of trust and respect.

Conclusion.

Maintaining unity is vital for a marriage to thrive. When spouses make the effort to understand one another on deep levels, it ensures they can weather challenges as a team with their goals aligned. Languages in marriage is crucial. Speaking the same language spiritually through prayer and emotionally by learning love languages lays the groundwork for a lasting bond. The rewards of prioritizing communication far outweigh any short-term convenience of sweeping problems aside. Make understanding your spouse a daily commitment to enjoy a rich, fulfilling relationship.


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30 Shocking Realities Before Marriage by Eno Jerry Part 2

30 Shocking Realities Before Marriage by Eno Jerry Part 2

Reading Time: 4 minutes

30 Shocking Realities Before Marriage by Eno Jerry Part 2

We started on this yesterday and we will conclude today.

19. Manage Expectations

It’s normal to fantasize about marriage and picture the ideal relationship. However, unrealistic expectations can damage a union if not addressed. When two individuals commit their lives together, compromise is necessary.

No one is perfect, so don’t expect your partner to meet all of your emotional or physical needs without also meeting theirs. Appreciate your significant other for who they are, not who you imagine them to be. Small irritations that seemed minor before may bother you more as a married couple.

20. Find Purpose

Also, your partner should not have to fulfill your purpose or identity. While support is important, relying on them solely for happiness places unfair pressure on their shoulders. Maintain interests and friendships outside the marriage for balance.

Similarly, allow your partner space to follow their dreams too. Whether it’s furthering education, changing careers, or pursuing hobbies, encourage each other’s goals. Make time for activities you each enjoy separately as well as together.

21. Be Flexible

Compromise means considering your spouse’s perspective and finding solutions that work for you both. Be willing to bend when possible and don’t just think of yourself. With patience and teamwork, you can overcome challenges as a united front. Going into marriage with realistic views sets the stage for a fulfilling partnership built on mutual understanding and support. Unmet fantasies often stem the root of dissatisfaction.

22. Work on Communication

Strong communication serves as the foundation for any healthy relationship. However, speaking and listening with understanding do not always come naturally and require effort. As a couple, make developing this skill a priority.

Start by listening without judgment or assumptions when your partner speaks.

Focus fully on what they say rather than thinking of your response. Ask clarifying questions if needed so you can see things from their perspective. All these are important before marriage.

When sharing your feelings or needs, do so respectfully using “I statements” instead of accusations. Say something like “I feel upset when you forget our plans because I was looking forward to our time together.” This avoids placing blame.

Discussing disagreements kindly helps resolve issues rather than letting them fester. Come prepared to compromise rather than demand your way. Take breaks if tensions rise so you can return to difficult topics with clearer heads.

23. Don’t Sweep Issues Under The Carpet.

Small problems become big ones if not addressed. So talk through everyday annoyances before they accumulate. Catching issues early gives the best chance of a resolution that satisfies you both. With practice, you’ll strengthen your ability to communicate supportively as a team.

Healthy communication habits take work but are well worth establishing as the foundation for a strong marriage. Facing challenges together through respectful discussion helps deepen understanding and intimacy between partners

24. Seek Counseling if Needed

Even couples excited about marriage may have areas to improve before tying the knot. Pre-marital counseling provides an objective third party to help identify issues and give you tools to build a healthy relationship.

Before Marriage

A counselor can guide meaningful discussions that you and your partner find difficult alone. They’ll prompt reflection on your backgrounds, values, expectations, and communication styles. This helps ensure you see eye to eye on important topics and are ready to support each other.

Working through any existing problems with a professional also gives the best chance of overcoming them. Bottled-up resentment or unresolved conflicts from your past are less likely to negatively impact your marriage.

Pre-marital sessions teach relationship skills like active listening, “I statements,” compromising, and managing conflict. Practicing these with guidance strengthens your bond and ability to face challenges together down the road.

Don’t be afraid to seek counseling if you notice areas of concern. It takes courage to address problems head-on with your partner and a counselor. But it provides so much benefit to working through difficulties before marriage rather than hoping they’ll disappear after “I dos.”

With counseling, you’ll feel confident that you and your significant other are fully prepared for the commitment of marriage. Your union will be built on a strong foundation of understanding, trust, and communication from the very beginning.

25. Signs It May Not Last

While every couple faces obstacles, some partnerships show red flags indicating deeper issues. If several of these signs apply to your relationship, seriously consider whether you and your partner are ready for marriage. It’s better to acknowledge problems now rather than later.

26. Lack of Commitment

One or both individuals are not fully bought into the marriage. They are not willing to put in the effort it requires through good and bad. One or both feet may still be out the door. Before marriage, this area should be sorted.

27. Inability to Solve Problems

Major conflicts over important issues like finances, intimacy, or in-laws are left unresolved. Partners lack effective communication skills and are unable or unwilling to find compromises. This is a crucial area that needs to be addressed before marriage.

28. Unrealistic Expectations

One or both have an idealized, fantasy view of marriage and relationships rather than a realistic one. They expect their partner to meet all their needs and resolve all their issues. Before marriage, unrealistic expectations should be discarded.

29. Lack of Trust or Respect

There are underlying trust issues due to past hurts, different values, or personality clashes. Partners disrespect one another through insensitive words, dismissal of feelings, or private criticism. If this happened before marriage without check, it will still happen afterward.

30. Frequent or Escalating Arguments

Disagreements happen, but true red flags include arguments that end in personal attacks, name-calling, or one partner trying to control the other through anger or tears.

Take time to reflect on whether any of these signs ring true for your relationship. Addressing concerns with counseling before marriage gives the best chance at a healthy union built to stand the test of time.


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30 Shocking Realities Before Marriage – Eno Jerry Eze

30 Shocking Realities Before Marriage – Eno Jerry Eze

Reading Time: 4 minutes

30 Shocking Realities Before Marriage

1. Before You Enter that Marriage.

If you want to build a strong and lasting relationship, learn from other people’s mistakes. In this devotional, I will share my personal story and the issues I faced in past relationships. I will show you how anger, disrespect, and blaming others can damage your bonds. More importantly, I will explain how change is possible when you take ownership of your weaknesses.

2. Parents as Models.

Growing up, I witnessed frequent arguments and even physical fights between my parents. As children, my brother and I would cry and beg them to stop fighting to no avail. Witnessing these conflicts shaped my views on relationships from a young age.

3. Growing up in a quarrelsome home.

It was all I knew to see parents constantly quarreling, even in front of us kids. My parents loved us but they didn’t understand the impact their fights had on our development. We learned that resolving conflicts through yelling and aggression was normal.

4. The impact on children.

Seeing your parents fight regularly leaves scars. As a child, it makes you feel unsafe and stressed. Subconsciously, it can influence you to repeat similar behaviors in your own relationships later in life. I believe growing up in that environment is what made me prone to anger issues and arguments as an adult.

5. Arguing and fighting as weaknesses.

In my teens and early adulthood, I saw arguing and even physical fighting as normal behaviors. I took pride in “winning” fights and felt validated when others were impressed by my aggression. However, these were clearly weaknesses that would damage my relationships if not addressed.

6. Owning your faults instead of blaming others.

For a long time, I blamed my parents and upbringing for my anger issues. I thought it wasn’t my fault since that’s all I knew growing up. But the moment you realize your parents’ actions don’t define you, change becomes possible. You have to own your faults instead of making excuses for bad behaviors. No one else can change you but yourself.

7. Examples of anger issues from my past.

Looking back, I see many examples of how my anger ruined past relationships. I would blow up over small things and say hurtful words just to win arguments. I never respected my partners’ feelings or tried to understand other viewpoints. My anger was like a monster that I couldn’t control.

8. The impact on relationships.

Is it any surprise that those relationships didn’t last? No one wants to be with someone who constantly yells, blames, and shows anger without reason. It destroys trust and communication. Both parties always feel on edge, like walking on eggshells. Respect and care fade away when anger takes over. I didn’t realize it then but my behavior was emotionally abusive.

9. Making the decision to change.

It took hitting rock bottom, with the failure of yet another relationship, for me to realize I had to change. I decided to seek counseling to understand the roots of my anger and how to manage it better. This was the first step to taking control of my life and weaknesses.

10. Seeing positive changes with time.

Learning new coping skills like active listening, expressing feelings respectfully, and taking a breather to calm down when angry – these techniques really helped. With practice over months and years, I saw real differences. Fewer outbursts, more patience, and greater control over my emotions. My relationships became far more peaceful than before.

Before Marriage

11. Communication skills to develop.

Some key skills I worked on include: listening without interrupting, using “I feel” statements, finding compromises, validating feelings, and apologizing when wrong. These small changes in how you interact go a long way in making the other person feel heard and respected.

12. Showing respect for your partner.

Beyond communication, it’s important to respect your partner’s individuality and make them feel cared for through little gestures. Saying thank you, doing small favors, giving compliments, and making time for each other daily all show you value the relationship. Respect is the foundation of any healthy bond.

13. Growth and healing in my own marriage.

I met my husband a few years after starting my personal journey. By then, I had learned so much and was still learning. Of course, new challenges would come up but I had better tools to handle them respectfully. Our communication is honest yet caring. We make each other feel valued every day.

14. Advice for others based on my experience.

If you struggle with anger or past hurts influence you, don’t delay getting help. Your future relationships and mental well-being depend on it. Also, keep learning from your mistakes; that’s how you keep growing. Finally, value your partner and meet them with compassion – this will take you very far.

15. Get to Know Your Partner.

Getting to know someone fully takes time. Before marriage, it’s important to truly understand who your partner is at their core. Spending quality time together in different situations can help reveal important things.

16. Date Nights.

Plan regular date nights where you engage in meaningful conversation without distractions. Ask questions and really listen to learn about each other’s upbringing, values, life experiences, and goals. Did you grow up similarly or differently? What matters most to each of you?

17. Understanding.

Also, make an effort to understand your partner’s relationships with family and friends. How do they interact with loved ones? What role will family play after your wedding? Knowing how to navigate in-laws can help prevent future issues.

Be open about topics that affect your future too, like finances, children, faith, and careers. Discuss expectations for these areas to ensure you are compatible. It’s better to address any gaps or disagreements now rather than be surprised later.

Make quality time together a priority, even when busy with work or other commitments.

18. Conversations.

Continuing meaningful conversations throughout your relationship helps you and your partner grow closer emotionally and practically. Going into marriage with a solid understanding of each other sets the stage for a healthy bond.

I will continue from here tomorrow. Be blessed!


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Secrets Unveiled: Apostle Arome’s 14 Keys To A Lasting Marriage Part 2

Secrets Unveiled: Apostle Arome’s 14 Keys To A Lasting Marriage Part 2

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Secrets Unveiled: Apostle Arome’s 14 Keys To A Lasting Marriage Part 2

What are the Keys to a Long-Lasting Marriage?

8. Understanding the Price of Agreement.

Agreement is the foundation of any covenant relationship. Maintaining an agreement requires effort, but it is well worth it to enjoy the benefits of a true partnership. As the Apostle pointed out, “two cannot walk together except that they agree.”

Agreement allows couples to function as a corporate entity, combining their strengths for maximum impact. However, agreement does not just happen – it is something that must be cultivated through understanding each other, compromising when needed, and prioritizing the relationship above personal desires.

Apostle Arome used the example of Israel’s relationship with God to show how disagreement can arise even when two parties are committed to each other. Though Israel was married to God by covenant, at times “there was no harmony, no concord.”

Living together day after day reveals each person’s weaknesses as well as their strengths. It takes work to see beyond surface issues and maintain the “temperature of agreement.” But the rewards are great for couples who make this effort, as Apostle Arome said, with agreement comes the ability to “explore the field of destiny” through their combined efforts.

9. Avoid Unequal Yoke.

Being “unequally yoked” leads to a lack of harmony. When two people have differing values, priorities, or visions for their lives together, it creates internal friction that manifests in their interactions. Small disagreements that would normally be resolved become magnified when the underlying yoke is unequal.

Couples may find themselves constantly butting heads over decisions big and small. Resentment and frustration can build on both sides when there is no agreement at the core level of who they are and what they want from their marriage and future. Apostle Arome pointed to this lack of agreement at the foundational level as a disaster for any relationship that is meant to function as a unit.

10. Fellowship and Participation.

The Greek word for fellowship means participation. Effective participation between partners requires understanding each other’s strengths, weaknesses, passions, and quirks.

Couples who take the time to truly get to know their spouse on deep levels find it much easier to participate together in a harmonious way. They understand how to encourage and support each other’s participation in activities, responsibilities, and decision-making in a way that plays to each person’s nature. This allows them to function as a cohesive unit where both people feel valued for their contributions. A lack of real understanding breeds a lack of participation, which in turn breeds distance and disharmony in the relationship.

marriage

11. Communion and Intercourse.

Communion, or “koinonia”, refers to intercourse – the height of agreement between partners. When there is disharmony between a couple, it negatively impacts their ability to be intimate with each other. Intercourse is meant to be an act that deepens the bond of unity between a husband and wife, but lack of agreement on other levels makes true communion very difficult.

Unresolved issues like differing values or ongoing arguments translate to a disconnect even in the bedroom. Partners may feel reluctant to be emotionally or physically vulnerable. Addressing the root causes of disharmony through open communication and compromise is important to restore full communion in the relationship.

12. Purpose and Objectives.

Having a clearly defined, shared purpose is important for agreement. Couples who do not have a strong sense of why their marriage exists beyond just being together are more likely to experience disagreement down the line. Life presents many opportunities to veer off course individually if a marriage’s purpose is unclear or unaligned. Discussing each person’s goals, values, vision for family, and aspirations helps partners get on the same page about their reasons for committing to each other. With a mutual understanding of purpose, it is easier to make decisions and compromises while staying focused on similar objectives.

13. Addressing Past Mistake.

Apostle Arome discusses how past inappropriate relationships or touches can negatively impact agreement in a current marriage if unaddressed. Soul ties from previous romantic connections, even if just emotional, can linger in the recesses of one’s mind and heart. This leaves room for comparison or unresolved baggage that seeps into the present. Complete honesty and repentance between partners is needed. Working through such issues with a counselor or mentor can help cut past ties that hinder full agreement in the marriage. Sins of the past, if not brought to light, have the power to slowly poison unity in the present.

14. Conclusion.

In conclusion, the keys to lasting long in any marriage ultimately come down to agreement. Couples must work to cultivate agreement through fellowship, shared purpose, addressing past issues, and prioritizing their unity. When two become one in mutual understanding and participation, it allows them to present a united front even against any “enemy” seeking to bring disharmony. With agreement as the foundation, a marriage can withstand challenges and last for the long run.


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