Matthew 5:28 (KJV) says, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:28, part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, challenges us to examine the condition of our hearts and minds. It goes beyond outward actions and addresses the inner motivations that shape our behavior.
Here are five key lessons we can draw from Matthew 5:28:
1. Sin Begins in the Heart
Jesus emphasizes that sin isn’t just about physical actions—it starts in the heart. Lustful thoughts are as sinful as committing adultery because they reflect the same internal rebellion against God’s design for purity. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Our thoughts and intentions matter deeply to God.
Be vigilant about what you allow into your mind through media, entertainment, or unchecked thoughts. Guarding your heart is essential for spiritual and relational health.
2. God’s Standard Is Holiness, Not Just Outward Compliance
The Pharisees focused on external obedience to the law, but Jesus calls us to a higher standard—holiness of heart and mind. Adultery isn’t just a physical act; it begins with impure desires. 1 Samuel 16:7 declares, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” God cares about the purity of our inner lives.
Pursue holiness not just in actions but in attitudes. Regularly ask God to search your heart and reveal areas that need cleansing (Psalm 139:23-24 ).
3. Accountability for Thoughts and Intentions
This verse makes it clear that we are accountable not only for what we do but also for what we think. Allowing lustful thoughts to take root is equivalent to crossing a boundary God has set. 2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs us to “take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Our thoughts have power, and unchecked ones can lead to destructive behaviors.
When inappropriate thoughts arise, immediately redirect your focus to things that are pure, noble, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8 ).
4. The Importance of Self-Control
Lust thrives when self-control is absent. Jesus calls us to exercise discipline over our eyes and minds. Job 31:1 provides an example of intentional self-control: “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” Choosing where to direct our gaze reflects our commitment to honor God and others.
Set boundaries around what you watch, read, and consume. Cultivate habits that strengthen self-control, such as prayer, fasting, and accountability with trusted friends.
5. A Call to Radical Measures Against Temptation
In the verses following Matthew 5:28, Jesus urges drastic action if something causes us to stumble: “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out… If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off” (Matthew 5:29-30). While this is hyperbolic language, the point is clear: take radical steps to avoid temptation. Sin has serious consequences, and avoiding it requires decisive action.
Identify triggers or environments that lead to lustful thoughts and remove them from your life. This might mean limiting screen time, installing accountability software, or seeking godly counsel to address deeper struggles.
What’s in Resurrection Power for Relationships and Marriage?
Resurrection power isn’t just a theological concept—it’s a transformative force that can breathe new life into struggling relationships and marriages. The same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead is available to us today, offering hope, healing, and restoration where brokenness seems insurmountable. But what does resurrection power look like in the context of marriage? How can it mend wounds, revive intimacy, and strengthen your bond as a couple?
1. Overcoming Hopelessness with New Life
When a relationship feels dead or stuck, whether due to betrayal, unresolved conflict, or emotional distance—resurrection power reminds us that nothing is beyond God’s ability to restore, Ephesians 1:19-20 declares, “His incomparably great power for us who believe… which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead.” Just as God brought life back to Jesus’ body, He can bring vitality and renewal to even the most strained marriages.
How it helps: Resurrection power gives you the courage to face seemingly impossible challenges, trusting that God specializes in making all things new (Revelation 21:5 ).
2. Breaking Strongholds That Bind Relationships
Every marriage faces strongholds—patterns of sin, bitterness, unforgiveness, or pride—that hold couples captive. These chains can feel unbreakable on our own. However, resurrection power shatters these bonds, freeing both partners to walk in freedom and forgiveness. 2 Corinthians 10:4 assures us, “The weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to demolish strongholds.”
How it helps: Through prayer, repentance, and surrender, resurrection power enables spouses to forgive one another fully and release toxic patterns that hinder their union.
3. Restoring Intimacy and Connection
Intimacy—both emotional and physical—is often the first casualty in troubled marriages. Resurrection power rebuilds what has been lost by renewing hearts and minds. Romans 6:4 says, “We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order to be raised to a new life.” This “new life” includes rediscovering joy, passion, and closeness with your spouse.
How it helps: As each partner allows God to transform their heart, walls of resentment crumble, paving the way for deeper vulnerability and connection.
4. Empowering Sacrificial Love
Resurrection power equips husbands and wives to love sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church. John 15:13 teaches, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” In marriage, this means putting your spouse’s needs above your own and serving them selflessly—even when it’s hard.
How it helps: When both partners embrace this kind of love, fueled by resurrection power, they create an atmosphere of mutual respect and devotion that strengthens the marriage covenant.
5. Healing Past Wounds and Hurts
Many marriages struggle under the weight of past hurts—infidelity, abandonment, or deep-rooted insecurities. Resurrection power brings healing to those wounds, replacing pain with peace. Isaiah 61:1-3 , a prophetic passage about Jesus’ ministry, speaks of binding up the brokenhearted and comforting those who mourn. This promise extends to marriages scarred by hurt.
How it helps: By inviting God into the process, couples experience supernatural healing that human effort alone cannot achieve.
6. Renewing Commitment to Each Other
Marriage vows are promises made before God, but over time, those commitments can waver. Resurrection power renews the marital covenant, reminding couples of their purpose together. Malachi 2:15 emphasizes God’s desire for covenantal faithfulness, saying, “He did not make them to be two, but one.”
How it helps: Couples who lean into resurrection power find renewed strength to honor their vows and persevere through trials.
7. Providing Hope for the Future
Sometimes, the greatest barrier in marriage is despair—the belief that things will never get better. Resurrection power offers eternal hope. Philippians 3:10 says, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection.” When couples anchor themselves in this truth, they gain confidence that their marriage can not only survive but thrive.
How it helps: Hope inspires action. With resurrection power at work, couples take practical steps toward reconciliation while trusting God’s ultimate plan.
If conversations devolve into yelling matches, silent treatments, or complete avoidance, communication has likely collapsed. Healthy dialogue is the lifeblood of any marriage. James 1:19 advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” A therapist can teach effective communication skills to bridge the gap between spouses.
6. Abuse Is Present
Any form of abuse—physical, emotional, verbal, or financial—is unacceptable and requires immediate attention. Safety must always come first. If abuse is occurring, seek therapy professionally and consider protective measures. Matthew 7:12 teaches, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” No one deserves to live in fear, and therapy can help victims find healing while holding abusers accountable.
7. Life Transitions Are Overwhelming the Relationship
Major life changes—such as job loss, health crises, the birth of a child, or grief—can strain even the strongest marriages. When these transitions spiral into conflict or resentment, therapy offers support and strategies to navigate the challenges together. Philippians 4:6 encourages, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.”
8. One Partner Refuses to Engage
If one spouse has emotionally checked out or refuses to work on the marriage, therapy becomes essential. Even if only one partner initially participates, counseling can provide clarity, healing, and insight into the next steps. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 emphasizes teamwork: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.”
Why Early Intervention Matters
Waiting too long to address marital problems can lead to irreparable damage. The earlier you seek therapy, the greater the chances of restoring your relationship. A licensed counselor or Christian therapist can offer biblical wisdom, practical tools, and compassionate guidance tailored to your unique situation. Learn more about how to seek therapy, counseling and courses Here
Marriage is a beautiful covenant, but it’s not immune to challenges. While every relationship experiences ups and downs, some issues require professional guidance to prevent further damage. Knowing when to seek therapy can be the difference between healing and heartbreak. Here are key signs that indicate your marriage may urgently need therapy—and why taking action sooner rather than later is vital.
1. Constant Conflict Without Resolution
If arguments have become a daily norm and resolution feels impossible, it’s time to seek therapy. Persistent conflict without healthy communication erodes trust and intimacy. Proverbs 17:14 warns, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” A therapist can provide tools to navigate disagreements constructively and restore peace.
2. Emotional or Physical Disconnection
When emotional distance grows—or worse, physical intimacy disappears—it’s a red flag. This disconnection often stems from unresolved issues or unmet needs. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken,” symbolizing the strength of unity. Therapy can help couples reconnect emotionally and spiritually, rebuilding the bond they once shared.
3. Trust Has Been Broken
Infidelity, dishonesty, or breaches of trust can devastate a marriage. Whether it’s an affair, financial deception, or repeated broken promises, these wounds run deep. Psalm 51:10 prays, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” A trained therapist can guide both partners through forgiveness, accountability, and restoration—a process that’s difficult to navigate alone.
4. One or Both Partners Are Considering Separation or Divorce
When thoughts of separation or divorce enter the conversation, it’s a critical moment for intervention. Therapy provides a safe space to explore underlying issues and determine if reconciliation is possible. Malachi 2:16 declares, “God hates divorce,” underscoring the sacredness of marriage. Seeking therapy at this stage shows a willingness to fight for the relationship.
Being a great wife is not about perfection—it’s about embodying qualities that reflect love, respect, and selflessness. A godly wife seeks to honor God in her marriage while nurturing and supporting her husband. Here are five qualities that make a great wife, inspired by biblical principles and practical wisdom.
1. She Loves with Patience and Kindness
A great wife demonstrates love that is patient and kind, even during challenging times. 1 Corinthians 13:4 reminds us, “Love is patient, love is kind.” Her ability to extend grace and understanding creates a peaceful and loving home environment. A wife who loves this way builds a strong emotional foundation for the marriage.
2. She Respects and Encourages Her Husband
Respect is a cornerstone of a thriving marriage. A great wife honors her husband, affirming his strengths and encouraging him in his role. Ephesians 5:33 says, “The wife must respect her husband.” By speaking words of affirmation and showing admiration, she inspires confidence and unity in the relationship.
3. She Communicates with Grace and Wisdom
Healthy communication is essential for any marriage. A great wife listens attentively, speaks gently, and resolves conflicts with humility. Proverbs 12:18 teaches, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Her thoughtful words foster trust, intimacy, and mutual understanding.
4. She Is Faithful and Committed
Faithfulness is a hallmark of a great wife. Whether it’s standing by her husband through trials or honoring the covenant of marriage, her commitment remains steadfast. Proverbs 31:10-12 describes a virtuous wife as one “whose husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” A faithful wife reflects God’s unwavering love and devotion.
5. She Supports and Builds Up Her Family
A great wife plays a vital role in nurturing her family. She manages her household with care, supports her husband’s goals, and raises children (if applicable) with love and discipline. Titus 2:4-5 encourages women to “love their husbands and children, be self-controlled, pure, and kind.” By prioritizing her family, she creates a harmonious and godly home.
