Yea, we aregetting close to the end of discussing love languages and I hope you are getting blessed. If you have questions you may ask and at the end of the topic we will try and answer them.
It bears repetition, that it is the husband’s responsibility to love his wife. God commanded the husband to love his wife. What God commanded the wife is to respect and honor her husband.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Maybe it is because naturally, a wife loves her husband. What is not natural is for a husband to love. Men find it more difficult to show or express love. Women find it easy to love but difficult to respect. So God says focus on what is unnatural with you to do and get better at it as I give you strength. It is not going to be easy but once you are prepared to love your wife and ask God for strength, He will give you.
Your wife will sense love when you speak any one of these love languages. There will be one or at most two of these languages that will readily resonate with your wife. Be very tactical in discovering which one it is and start speaking it.
Note, it is not that you cannot express love by using any one of these languages, but we are looking at the one that best describes your wife’s love language.
The 5 love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We will look at the next one.
4. Gifts
In this love language, you have to be a giver and enjoy it. If this is your wife’s primary love language. It is a love language for the giving husband or let’s say the thoughtful husband. Even though not all rich husband express their love in this way. It is advisable to show your wife love this way if you want her full cooperation.
Here, the gift does not have to be expensive. It just has to be a gift. A box of chocolate, a bar of candy, something for her hair, a roll-on, soap, perfume, earrings and the list goes on and on.
However, the gift needs to be thoughtful. Your wife can’t need a perfume and you buy her a knife. It is not just buying anything. There are appropriate gifts and inappropriate gifts. There are also gifts that speak volumes and the ones that are casual gifts. There are gifts that show your thoughtfulness and there are gifts that reveal your absent mindedness.
You should not buy your wife a gift and you buy a shoe three times short her size. You buy a winter jacket in summer. It has to be meaningful, useful and thoughtful.
If your wife’s love language is expressed by giving her gifts, then it has to be consistent. Buy her gifts regularly, not once in a blue moon. Don’t let her receive one gift now and have to pray in tongues for months before you buy her another. Let it be as consistent as it can be especially since it is not expensive. It is better not to be expensive but consistent than expensive but inconsistent.
Let her special days not end without you buying her a gift. Your gifts mean so much to her. Each time she uses it or sees them, she is happy to know that you bought them for her.When she thinks of how many gifts you have bought for her, let her feel grateful to God for you. Her love tank is full, knowing that you love her.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my wife consistently
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, empower me, to love my wife consistently.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:16 A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Buy a gift for your wife today
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY 2 Chronicles 27
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Why is this so important? If you don’t love yourself, it is not possible for any other person to love you the way they should. They will only be using you rather. It is important to deal with this. You have to love yourself. You have to accept yourself. Loving yourself is key!
1. Discover your potentials One of the ways to love yourself and overcome self-hate is to discover your potentials. If you have not discovered your potentials, you will keep on comparing yourself to another, who in the real sense may be envying you! Your gifting and natural talents are an indication of your potentials and a pointer to your purpose in life! You have to discover what you are created for.
Listen to me, when you discover your potential and the reason you are on this earth, you will love yourself. All the negative feelings of self-hate and self-rejection will vapourize! Nobody is created for fun. We are all created for a purpose!
Your potential or natural talents may not even be in vogue now, but just stay with it! That is part of loving yourself.
In the seventies and early eighties when we go out to play football, our parents would reprimand us and tell us to go and read our books! Today, parents are buying footballs, and telling their wards, you must know how to play this thing! Why? Footballers are heavily paid today!
Some twenty years back, comedy is not a profession as it were in Nigeria. Today, they make millions in the hour! What are your natural talents? You’ve got to discover them because that is where your prosperity is!
2. Develop your potential After you have discovered your potential, the next thing to do is to develop it. Organise your potential for productivity. Equip your potential for profit. How do you do that? Get information about your potential, gifts or talents. Read books on them. Get all you need on it and be adequately informed.
3. Deploy your potentials The next thing to do is to package your potential and deploy it. Step out on it! Start something today. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step! Stick out your neck and move on! A wet swimmer is better than a dry boat-sitter!
4. Be passionate about what you do Be passionate about your assignment. You see, when you are busy with all these, you will not have time for self-hate or self-rejection or not loving yourself appropriately. The proof of desire is always in your pursuit.
A young man that wakes up by 9.00am has woken up too late. By that time, several people have made their first million for the day! Approach life with passion. Commit to your potential. Write the vision and make it plain that he that readeth may run with it. After you have prayed and prayed, then step out so that God can bless the works of your hands.
Don’t be like the pastor who wanted to organise a crusade. He prayed like no man’s business. Morning, afternoon and night, he was praying and groaning. But he didn’t make a single flier neither was he on T.V or Radio! So on the day of the crusade, all of heaven was aware, but nobody knew except him on earth. The result? The crusade ground was jam-packed with angels, but not a singe human! Warrior angels, praise angels and so many were there, because heaven was aware. But not a single human being knew! Even though he has prayed, and made tremendous power available, his spiritual efforts were not complimented with adequate publicity.
You see, if God will help you, you must be doing something for him to help!
Don’t be like a man who wants to get married but has no job and has no intention of getting one. The wife is supposed to be a help-meet. So, what was she coming to help you with?
5. Be full of praise Finally be full of praise. Be grateful to God for the gift of life! Why would you complain about a simple headache? Don’t you know that it is only people that have heads that can have headache? So thank God for giving you a head first!
You got depressed because your result in school was not that good? Don’t you know the other child whose destiny has been retired to selling and hawking oranges is wishing that he had the kind of opportunity you have? You are sad because you are not yet married? Thank God for your time of singleness and enjoy it because some married people wish they can just be single again to correct a lasting mistake!
It is when you come to God with an attitude of praise, that the heavens open over you to satisfy the desire of your heart!
Wake up with praise and gratefulness in your heart and not with complaints and murmurings. Go to bed thanking God for the day and not with emotions of regret. Then, you are qualified for God’s hand upon you afresh and you can love yourself the way God loves you.
Shalom!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love myself. I am loving in my approach.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to love and appreciate myself
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 90:14 O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be loving to yourself by taking yourself out
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY PS 90
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Words have power! The power of words can be readily seen in the story of creation, and in our lives too. Let’s look at a brief story of Amaka. Amaka scanned the sea of faces about her as she made her way to the assembly ground. It was her first day at the new school. She put on her best smile as the students passed her, hoping for a familiar face.
“Lord, let me find just one person that I know,” she prayed.
Suddenly someone in a hurry rushed past her and she fell to the ground. She looked at her bleeding knees and felt an ache around her ankle. How was she going to use the power of words?
“This was going to be hard,” she told herself as she got up.
“I hate this school!” she blurted out. “Why did mom even pick it for me?”
The bible makes us understand the immense power of our words. The power of words is real; see what the Scriptures say –
Prov. 13:2 “Be careful what you say and protect your life. A careless talker destroys his life.” (GNB)
This verse cautions us to watch what we say as our words are so powerful to create what we say. Our words can make or break us. What we say is what we see and become. The words you speak have an impact on your life.
The more you keep complaining about a situation, the more it worsens; that’s the power of words. Rather, choose to say positive words about it. You don’t deny that there is a problem, but you choose to look at it through positive lenses.
Use words that show you believe the situation will get better and won’t last forever. You have to keep believing that and let your actions show you believe. Learn to use the power of words to your advantage.
Amaka could have said “I am grateful that my parents are giving me an education. I will meet and make nice, God-fearing friends here. Things will work out well for me.”
This way, she’s is not focusing on what she doesn’t like about the school but rather, choosing to believe that she won’t find it rough there.
Finally, she could have just prayed about it to God. Prayer, also, is how you can exercise the power of words.
So, when next you feel like complaining about a situation or someone, remember to choose your words wisely.
Prayer: Lord God, thank you for your grace that helps me speak wisely. I will continually speak positive, pleasant, and life-giving words as from today. In Jesus name. Amen.
Action plan: What areas have you been speaking negatively about? Write as many as you can remember or know. Start to speak positively about them.
It is important that our children learn how to give. Let’s start by looking at that Scripture in Psalms that talks about how we have been wonderfully made.
Ps 139:14, KJV I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
The bible tells us that we are wonderfully and beautifully made by God. Can you imagine yourself as beautiful and wonderful? Do you see yourself as ordinary? Do you see yourself as someone with no talent or gift, with nothing to give or share with others?
God couldn’t have made you so beautiful and wonderful then leave you empty. No. You are a masterpiece from the Creator’s hands, so you must learn how to give. Even the stones He created give praise to His name when you admire them. When you look at the rainbow in the sky and smile, you are praising God
Your Creator didn’t create you without something to give. No one should complain that they have nothing to give. You have something to give. It could be a thing or an action.
You have a lot to give, children. More than you can ever imagine. You could give out your clothes if you’ve outgrown them, your toys, shoes, or books. Do you know that your smile could be a gift to someone who is down and just needs someone to notice and smile at them? You should learn how to give.
Your time is also a gift you can give to teach a friend or classmate who is struggling to understand lessons at school.
Praying for others is another thing you can give. You can pray for your parents, guardians, friends, siblings, pastor, teachers, neighbours, classmates, and so on.
Helping your parents or guardians at home is another good way to use your time; therefore learn how to give by helping your parents.
Whatever it is you plan to give to others, ensure you tell your parents or guardians.
God bless you as you give. Amen.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for how you made me. I am glad that I have more than I give. Teach me new ways to give to others. I learn how to give. Enable me to be a giver, to the glory of your name, Amen.
Declaration: My children learn to give. They do not withhold more than necessary.
I am devoting a lot of time on these love languages because it is a key element in having a fulfilling marriage. Once you understand your spouse’s love language and the God factor is involved in your marriage, at least, a large percentage of understanding yourselves and loving yourselves is guaranteed.
When you understand your wife’s love language and endeavor to speak it, half of the marital issues are solved.
When you love your wife the way she wants to be loved, you will see a new radiance on her. Then she will blossom, she will be more responsive, more cooperative and supportive. She will have more energy and her creative juice will be more alive.
She will be happy and the home will be more calm and peaceful. Your wife will be that joyful wife you have always dreamt she will be. There will be unity among you and you will be able to fulfill God’s mandate of one chasing one hundred and two of you chasing ten thousand.
The 5 love languages are:
Words of affirmation
Quality time and Attention
Acts of Service
Gifts
Physical touch
Let’s look at another love language today.
3. Acts of Service This is a beautiful way of showing that you care and love your wife. But don’t try to speak this love language if this is not your wife’s love language. A wife may get irritated at your wanting to help her do her “duties”.
A wife may frown at the idea of her husband coming to the kitchen or cooking dinner. She may even put up a fight, saying that her husband thinks she is a lazy brat that cannot cook. She may even say her husband thinks her food is not sweet.
Any woman that feels that way, definitely her love language is not acts of service or maybe she prefers the acts of service in another way. You will know it is your wife’s love language when she demands that you help her do stuffs.
She will always call on you to help her do things, unlike the wife who has all the energy and will do everything so that even if you want to help, there is nothing to help with.
You communicate love to a wife whose love language is acts of service by doing things for her. You help her with dishes, the kids, laundry, throwing the trash, cleaning the house, cooking, packing her clothes and everything that she needs help for.
Here, the husband must enjoy helping her before she can sense love. If you are too busy, you have to employ people that can help her out. In her frustration, she may cry out that she is slaving herself for you.
Some wives are satisfied when you do things for them. They don’t even want gifts as such. Once you are doing things for her, she’s okay.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am becoming a loving husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, teach me to understand my wife.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25-26 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pay attention to loving your wife
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Amos 6- 9
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