‘Virtuous’ from the Hebrew word ‘Chayil’ means excellence, strength, ability, efficiency and force.
The Bible talks about a Virtuous woman see how the scripture puts it;
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. –Proverbs 31:10 (KJV)
She is the woman considered ‘balanced.’ She has her acts together. She has wisdom and strength and the force of an army. She is the epitome of Christian virtue in feminine form. She is the one who has discovered the secret of drawing strength from her maker and Lord.
She is gracious and elegant in every way, strong within and she stands for what she believes. She is a woman who knows her individuality and uniqueness and yet submits her will, desires, and opinions to her husband.
She is not trapped, hindered, or subservient. She is just submissive. She is not limited or restricted, she is simply fantastic.
All these may not sound like what you see in your fiancée or what you are now as a lady, but there is a hidden desire in every lady to become the Proverbs 31 woman.
God does not focus on our past, or concentrate on how fragile we are in the present. God looks out with pleasure and sees what we are capable of becoming in the future.
We are all ‘projects in progress’ God is still very much at work within us, healing the wounds from our past and strengthening our weak hands. Don’t allow anybody to abuse or despise you. Don’t condemn yourself. Only one person can condemn you, and that is God! But he has refused to do that!
Believe in yourself! You are the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31; the writer just wanted you to have the honour of putting your name there by yourself. Remember, the one who formed you said ‘you are very good!’
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I discover and develop my God-given gifts and talents.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in Jesus’ name, I ask for a spirit of wisdom and revelation in discovering my purpose and the grace to maximize it.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed. –Proverbs 29:18 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Remove the mental block and limitations that exist only in your mind.
It is often said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. The value of friendship is known in hard and tough times. Nothing is as soothing as when a friend speaks to you in your down moments. When his or her words are like cold water to a thirsty soul.
If the effect of a friend could be that felt, how much more is the effect of a spouse? Of course, our spouse is supposed to be our best friend; who we are vulnerable with, with who we can share the joy and the privilege of being naked and not ashamed.
I think every spouse should ask themselves this question: “Am I a friend to my spouse?” Can your spouse confidently say, he/she can find a friend in you? Does your spouse find you easy to talk to?
Every spouse should ask these soul-searching questions and try to find answers to these questions.
It’s easy to point accusing fingers at your spouse, but are you also fulfilling your end? Quit playing the blame game and face reality, walk and work together to make a formidable team.
Can two walk together, except they be agreed? -Amos 3:3 (KJV)
Come in agreement with each other. Forgive every hurt and pain. Marriage is where we hurt deeply.
Some spouses are so hurt they vow never to forgive. If you have any knotty situations, talk things over with your mentors. Sometimes, the issues in marriage require the authority of someone higher than you, just a word, a prayer or a prophetic utterance can solve the issue.
Some people have destroyed their marriage because of staying on their viewpoint of being right. In marriage, it is not always about who is right or wrong, but our willingness to allow God’s purpose to be done.
Jesus our model didn’t insist on being right. He willingly suffered for us, the righteous for the unrighteous. He loved us while we were yet sinners and died for us so we can be made sons of God.
The mandate on our marriage must be fulfilled. Let’s get over with all forms of bitterness, malice, and unforgiveness, these are toxic to our being best of friends with our spouses.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. –Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)
This scripture is very profound. You must show yourself friendly to have your spouse as your friend.
The issue is some of us don’t even know to be friends; we must aim at being friends with our spouses. I believe the Holy Spirit, the spirit of truth and revelation will help us if we ask Him to.
Here are some ways to be friends with your spouse:
1. Maintaining the right attitude and positive disposition is important.
2. Kind words and loving words; every human being responds to love.
3. Believing the best of each other.
4. Being fun to be with.
5. Not pointing attention to the weak areas of your spouse.
6. Encouraging our spouse.
7. Avoiding criticism, accusation, and blaming.
8. Being very understanding.
These are a few tips for being there for your spouse.
God help us indeed.
May God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my spouse’s best friend, I am loving and kind towards him/her
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to keep my marriage covenant
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. –Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘one flesh’
Dear precious child, yesterday I began talking to you about what it means to Fear God. The fear Of God is the beginning of wisdom, and God wants you as his child to be wise, this is why the bible further explains what it means to fear God.
To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. –Proverbs 8:13 (NIV)
Yesterday we discussed two of these points mentioned in our focus verse:
1. The fear of God is to Hate Evil.
2. The fear of God is to Hate Pride and Arrogance.
Let’s continue today with the remaining two!
3. To Fear God is to Hate Evil Behaviour.
What exactly is evil behaviour? Things such as lying, stealing, gossiping, malice, unforgiveness, etc, these and more are more things like this are evil behaviour. There is a long list of commandments called the Ten Commandments that God gave the children of Israel through Moses. This is an indication that God wants us to act right all the time, if we as his children say we fear him, then you and I must hate any behaviour that is evil.
4. To Fear God is to Hate Perverse Speech.
Perverse speeches are wrong words, words that don’t build, but rather tire down, slang that are not godly. Children of God shouldn’t be found speaking vulgar languages or using slang that doesn’t represent Jesus. You are God’s ambassador on earth; everything you do should represent God.
This is the end of our lesson on what it means to fear God, make sure you put to use what you have learned.
PRAYER: Father in the name of Jesus, I pray that I have the fear of God in Jesus name.
ACTION PLAN: Decide to put in your best in all you do today
DECLARATION: I have the fear of God, I hate evil all the days of my life.
Sandy has been frustrated over and over again. She has been involved in several relationships that kept breaking and she is beginning to think she is cursed. All her friends are married and she seemed to be the only one left. The more desperate she became, the more relationships and marriage were evading her. She has prayed, fasted, and cried, and she doesn’t know what to do again.
On the other hand, Ade had so many girls he sleeps with regularly, and he feels that is being a man. Sadly he is misinformed and confused. He fails to realize that he has been sucked into a cycle of sexual perversion with damning consequences and only God can save him if he is genuinely repentant. The more he did that, the more he frustrates and truncates the plan of God for him in this area.
Buddy and Angie are married but are not enjoying their marriage one bit. They got married without knowing the purpose of marriage, hence abuse set it. They are both well-read and educated, but unfortunately, you are not taught how to run a marriage in school. You are left with deliberate tutoring through self-development or through mentors.
So now, the question is “how do you know the purpose of a relationship/marriage is being abused?
1. Experimenting is not the Purpose of a Relationship.
You see, a relationship is not supposed to be an experiment. It is something you initiate deliberately and purposefully. It is an institution created by God, and as such, it should be held as sacred. When God began the marriage institution, he had something in mind. He was not performing an experiment, he was deliberately packaging a purposeful institution. So, the moment you do anything experimentally, you have moved away from the original intention, hence the consequences.
2. Pre-marital sex is not the Purpose of a Relationship
During friendship or courtship, it is the mind that should be aligned, not the body. When the body comes together in a sexual relationship before marriage, the light of God’s word is tampered with because of violation and confusion enters the soul!
One common statement you will hear from people who are compromising is “I am confused!” They know it is wrong, and yet they are held in the embrace of sin because an illegal bonding has been formed. It takes God and guts to break such.
3. Initiating a relationship while still hurting or bitter.
I have said it over and over again, you don’t begin a relationship immediately after getting off one because you want to prove a point or you want to get back at your ex. At that point, your reasoning is impaired and your definition of love has been warped by the recent experience. It is always good to take a break for about six months and allow yourself to heal. Wisdom says you should find out what went wrong with the first one before you dabble into another.
If you have had several relationships broken over and over again, it is not about a curse anywhere, it is just that you lack wisdom and you are abusing the purpose of a relationship. You don’t enter a relationship because you want the person to fill some emptiness in your soul. That is only what Jesus Christ can do by His Spirit! If you haul a job meant for God on a guy or a lady, you will end up frustrating that person!
After a broken relationship, take your time. Ask questions. Why did it go wrong? Don’t jump into the next available arms just to deal with hurts and wounds. When you do that, you will get hurt the more, because you have not followed the right process. Never ever try to give sex in order to get attention or love. It will never work that way. Young ladies, drum that into your head and carry yourselves with some dignity!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the discovery of my purpose, my role, and the purpose of marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, Lord help me to function with grace in the area of my calling. Anoint me for my calling as a husband/ wife in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God’s original purpose in everything created. –Colossians 1:15 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Search every scripture on marriage in the bible to discover God’s mind and purpose for marriage.
It is in marriage that all our bad attitudes show up. They show up bad that they give an offensive odour literarily, and guess what, your spouse won’t be able to stand it for too long.
Most of the things we can get by with as a single, we won’t be able to get by with them as married couples.
Remember, your mum used to tell you, you were lazy, and it didn’t matter as long as you were single.
Your friends told you, you were a snob. Your dad told you, you were too temperamental. Your boss told you, you were rude. Your roommate told you, you were too greedy.
All the weaknesses that show up and we get people to correct us about them, is God trying to correct our wrong attitudes.
These same wrong attitudes are what we carry into our marriages. These attitudes cause a lot of trouble. We expect our wives to cope with our negative attitudes, all in the name of being submissive and respectful. The wives should be submissive, but please don’t let us over-stretch ourselves.
Also, the wives complain about the husbands not loving them, but let’s say the truth. Is it easy to love a wife with negative attitudes? Let us make it easier for our spouses to submit to us and love us, as the case may be, and begin to correct any negative attitudes you notice in your life.
God corrects us because He does not want to leave us the same way we are. We have to yield to His corrections if we must live a better life.
For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. –Proverbs 3:12 (KJV)
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? –Hebrews 12:5 -9 (KJV)
The Lord urges us to change our negative attitudes. Here are some bad attitudes that will not make our marriages work;
1. Lazy attitude
2. Unforgiving attitudes
3. Insincere attitudes
4. Selfish attitudes
5. Mean attitudes
6. Unpleasant attitudes
Work on these negative attitudes and the Lord will bless your marriage.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I work on my negative attitudes
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, help me, I receive grace to work on my negative attitudes
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY I will work on my negative attitude
THOUGHT OF THE DAY For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. –Proverbs 3:12 (KJV)
