How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment

How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment

Reading Time: 2 minutes

How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment. It is wise to find God before you try to find a spouse! It is good that God becomes your Lord, before you seek for a spouse. Your relationship with God will stablise your relationship with your lover. There should first be a lover of your soul before a lover in your soul. There is a space in your heart that only your maker can fill. If you try to put a lover in that spot, you will eventually frustrate that lover and yourself.

There is one of God’s promises that says when you look for Him, you will find Him.

It is a sure promise, because God’s word will never fall to the ground. His word has never been known to fail, and it will never fail. His word will always come to pass!

How do you look for God? How do you look for God in a pragmatic day to day sense?

Now, understand this, the first order of things is to seek and find God before you try to seek a spouse! The foundation that will sustain a successful relationship that will lead to marriage is knowing God, by seeking Him daily and consistently. There is nothing as powerful as that! This is How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment

13″When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. ” Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, 
14 I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. “God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you “–– God’s Decree––” bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it (Jeremiah 29:13-14 Message)

The phrase in the above verses says, “…Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.”

Now, that is awesome! King James Version says “…when you search for me with all your heart…”

I want to challenge you this morning, as a spokesman for Jehovah, that it is time you get serious about finding God more in your life. It is something you have to prioritize! When you do that, search for God with all your heart, and really get serious with God in all your endeavours, God gives you a promise that sounds too good to be true, “You will not be disappointed!”

Finally, that scripture says, “I will turn things around for you!” King James Version says “I will turn away your captivity!”

That is only what God can do, not a spouse! That is a job for your Jehovah, not your lover. Marriage cannot turn things around for you, only God can. So you see, that the earlier you settle the God factor in your life, the more you are getting ready for settling down in marriage!

In the ensuing days, weeks, and months, I want you to dedicate time for God in your life, give it some priority, and as God said in His word, I make bold to say that you will not be disappointed! This is How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment
I will search for God with all my heart

Pray that God will strengthen you to search for Him the more


I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. Riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness (Proverbs 8:17-18 KJV)

Step up your time of devotion with God

John 11

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30 Days Promise Challenge

Two Ways To Love Your Spouse

Two Ways To Love Your Spouse

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Two Ways To Love Your Spouse. Sally is in love. Butterflies are flying in her tummy, her heartbeat accelerating, and there are twinkle little stars on her face always! George is floating on Cloud 9. He is crazily in love with Sally. The mere sight of thinking about her would elicit goose pimples all over him. 

So, Sally and George are in love! How would they take care of each other? 

The Johnsons are married, and somehow the butterflies have decided to rest, the heartbeat is stable and the stars have hibernated. How do you take care of each other or probably rekindle this love?

Here are some ideas for singles and married couples.

Two Ways To Love Your Spouse
1. Communication

Stay in touch. Words are powerful; use them to your advantage. As singles, don’t let your courtship season be a memory of fights, quarrels, and arguments. Be mature with each other. Avoid being incommunicado.

Make it a rule; we must keep talking. That can be a powerful principle to live by as a married couple as well. The devil feasts on silence; assumptions will persist and complicate the issue because assumptions are the lowest form of knowledge.

What is a man looking for? Respect!
What is a lady looking for? Love!

If you learn to communicate this, there will be less tension!

Singles should however note that it is wrong to say you are showing respect while you are disobeying God’s injunctions! More aptly put, you are not showing respect to your fiance by cooperating with him when he asks for sex!

2. Spirituals

Oh, pastor, what has this got to do with being romantic? It’s got a lot to do! Somebody said, in order to be romantic, read the book of Romans! Lol…

Well, candidly, your spiritual life as single or married can determine the success of your relationship or marriage. 

There are two elements to your spiritual life: reading God’s word and praying to God. If you can make this regular and consistent, some order will come into your relationship/marriage.

As you read, you will come to understand God’s thoughts and plan for a good relationship or marriage. 

As you pray, God will give you ideas, resources, and energy to take your relationship/marriage to the next level. Here are Two Ways To Love Your Spouse

I have the wisdom of God to the needful

Pray that God will teach and instruct you in the way to go

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye (Psalms 32:8 KJV)

Discuss the issue of mentorship

John 10

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Who Is The Right Woman For Marriage?

Who Is The Right Woman For Marriage?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Who Is The Right Woman For Marriage? George really loved Sally, beautiful and charming, but he felt her height wasn’t what he wanted. Deborah was spiritual and prayerful, but he felt, she wasn’t spiritual enough. Comfort was actually tall and but he felt she was too muscular because she was a Kungfu enthusiast. His brain taunted him with what could happen if a quarrel ensued. George had many ladies as close friends, his issue was not who to marry, but who to marry out of the numerous ladies who swarmed like bees around him.

George was simply confused. Would he marry like this? What exactly do you look for in a lady?

Yesterday, I started writing about what to look for in a godly woman. Let’s look at it more. 

Who Is The Right Woman For Marriage?

2. She has a mentor or Pastor over her.

She is submissive to spiritual authority. If she is not submissive to spiritual authority, there may be issues afterward with submission.

When a lady has issues with parents, pastors, Uncles, and so on, the people are not the problem. The problem is that the lady has issues with authority figures. She doesn’t know what it means to submit. Probably she didn’t grow up with her dad, so she learned early to be independent.

Unless she renews her mind and decides to unlearn and learn, there will be serious issues in marriage.

Who Is The Right Woman For Marriage?

3. She is not a strange woman.

Only strange women go after men and look for sex! They are not even interested in the money that comes with it, they just wanted sex!

A good lady will want to keep her virtue!

At this junction, I must mention that there are genuine cases where it is not as if the lady in question is promiscuous, but she has been introduced to sex and sundries at a tender age and she has grown up sexually active. Esteem has been battered and sex is seen as the price to pay to get love.

To such ladies, sex is no different from any other thing. While this experience is not her fault, the reality is that she is not supposed to stay in this clime. Her background is not enough reason for her back to remain on the ground. With the help of God, she is to clean up and stay away from every compromise!

Sin shall not have dominion over you! It means you can be in control with the help of God’s Spirit. You see, the seed of God in you is life, and it doesn’t go together with a sinful lifestyle! If you find yourself, in this scenario, I want you to cry to God and ask for His help. He will send help to you! Or you can call me on phone, and we will deal with this perverse spirit that seeks to destroy your destiny!

I pray that God grants you more understanding.

I have God’s wisdom to live right 

I resist every sinful trap in my life 

For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. (Romans 6:14 KJV)

Decide to resist all appearances of evil

John 8

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This Is What To Look For In A Wife

This Is What To Look For In A Wife

Reading Time: 3 minutes

This Is What To Look For In A Wife. There are different kinds of ladies out there. There are godly ladies and ungodly ladies. There are born-again sisters and those who are not born again. There are those who have given their lives to Jesus at one time and have also collected back the life from Jesus after some time!
There are those who are born again but their minds are not renewed yet, hence, they still do all they used to do before they got born again. There are strange women which the scripture warned about. There are ladies who will genuinely be an addition to you because he that finds a “wife” finds good and obtains favour from the Lord!
Interestingly, you can find all these categories right in church! This morning, I want to tell you a few things to take note of ”
The scripture says “ He that finds a “wife,” not a sister!
So, the indication is that every lady must become a wife before being found! And this talks about your preparation, not relocating to your fiance’s house!
You are not supposed to move into his house before marriage to go and prove anything. That is not what we are talking about here. If he does not trust you enough to love and believe He has been led by God, then it may not be worth it. It is not scriptural for you to move into a guy’s house before marriage to go and cook, wash clothes, boxers, and singlets, nay, that is an affliction!
If a brother insists you should be pregnant before marriage, something is wrong somewhere, because he is more or less telling you to despise God’s commandments.
So if you agree and get pregnant, and then you are preparing for the wedding and it’s just two weeks away, God forbid, if there is a miscarriage, what happens? He will postpone the wedding? God has not called you into such sexual experiments, which translates to disobedience to God! That way, you risk losing God’s favour and support!
If you already made that mistake, it’s okay, don’t allow the devil to plummet you with agonizing guilt, ask for forgiveness and move on with your life. But if you are about to do such things, I stand as God’s mouthpiece and servant to let you know that it is not God’s plan for your life!
And you know what? You will have the greatest level of result and fulfillment when you are in God’s plan!

This Is What To Look For In A Wife
1. She is a genuine child of God, born again and spirit filled with the evidence of speaking in tongues.
Pastor, why speak in tongues? That is the power of Christianity! Without it, Christianity will be a bore. You have been configured to survive as a child of God with the help of the Holy Spirit, not without Him. He is the one that will help you live above sin!
Listen to me, there are certain things you will just not understand when you are not filled with the Holy Spirit! Do you know the Holy Spirit is the one that will help you identify the right spouse and warn you against wrong relationships? As a wife, do you know you need the help of the Holy Spirit to submit to your husband fully? This Is What To Look For In A Wife

I will conclude this tomorrow. 

I have God’s wisdom to do the right thing
I resist every sinful lifestyle in Jesus’ name
For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. (Romans 6:14 KJV)
Decide to stop all sinful lifestyles
John 7

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Practical Ways To Stop That Thing

Practical Ways To Stop That Thing

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Practical Ways To Stop That Thing! Sandy has been locked in the intricacies of sexual sins for a while. The more she tried to stop, the more she plunged further into the abyss of sexual misadventures.

Her story seemed unfortunate, but there she was. She found that out she has been entwined in the duo of sexual perversion and mammon spirit.

Would she ever be able to stop this misadventure?She doubted herself.

In a few years of counseling singles and married couples, never has there been any problem or issue as intense as sexual sins.
Almost akin to a mountain, it stands tall in the life of any one who has dabbled into sexual sins. The person becomes completely intertwined and entangled, like an ant caught in a giant spider’s web!

In the early years of Kisses and Huggs Club, I was as frustrated as the ones I was counseling when I see that most of these people would go back to their vomit, even after counseling sessions and prayers.
Both the counselor and the counselee were at a loss on what to do. Until God opened my eyes to see that sexual sins are spiritual! Then God graced me to be able to deal with the spirit of perversion and deception which is largely behind most sexual compromises including homosexuality! Then I saw people set free supernaturally!
I have seen people weep in repentance only to go back into sexual sins. I have had to counsel pastors who just preached about sexual compromise only to find them locked up in sexual embrace afterward!
I have been called on the phone concerning a Bishop that was asking out a member right on the altar on the prayer line in one of his branch churches.
I have seen people who fasted forty days to deal with sexual sins only to be back in bed with another man on the fortieth day!

vractical Ways To Stop That Thing!
1. You see, the first thing you need to realize is that the scripture says emphatically:
For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. (Romans 6:14 KJV)
Yes, no matter your experiences, the scripture shall not be broken. Jesus already dealt with the sin issue. The power of iniquity is broken! That was a major reason Jesus Christ died for you and me.
In the Old Testament, our sins were atoned for. It means they were kind of covered by the blood of goats!
In the New Testament, the blood of Jesus, because of its superiority and holiness, did not just cover our sins; it wiped them away with no trace of remembrance! In God, when you embrace redemption, you were reconfigured back to who you were before you ever sinned! As much as that sounds difficult to grasp, that is what happened. You see, the things of God cannot be grasped with our natural understanding!
2. The second thing you need after this understanding is to go to God and ask Him to forgive you of all misdeeds and mistakes. And you know what? He will forgive you! When He forgives you, He will also forget!
Listen to me dear, God does not condemn you! Do you remember what He told that woman caught in adultery, whose destiny would have been truncated by stoning, Jesus Christ told her, I do not condemn you, BUT, go and sin no more!
In the same way, rather than stone the ones caught today, we are to restore them because that is why Jesus died for them!
You also need to understand that not a few are caught in sexual compromise not because they are promiscuous, but like Mephibosheth, they were dropped before they reached the age of accountability!
Some of them were abused by some big cousin, raped by some unsuspecting relative, fingered by some lesson teacher, innocence stolen by some big brother, and such! In hiding these for many years and not being able to open up, that which they were a victim of; found them becoming another victim or even the prey!
I come in the name of the Lord this morning that you don’t have to be under the weak and beggarly elements, under demonic powers again in your sexuality! You don’t have to succumb to every cry of the flesh. You can master your body with the Help of the Holy Spirit and make your destiny a significant one!
Go to God and ask for help. Talk to your father, every help you need can be found in Him. Refuse to cooperate with the devil. These are Practical Ways To Stop That Thing!
We will stop here this morning.

Sin shall not have dominion over me!
Pray and ask God to cleanse you of all sins and give you the grace to forgive all that hurt you many years ago
Do good, O Lord, unto those that be good, and to them that are upright in their hearts. (Psalms 125:4 KJV)
List everybody you will need to unfriend!
John 5

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A Checklist For Your Marital Journey

A Checklist For Your Marital Journey

Reading Time: 4 minutes

A Checklist For Your Marital Journey. The life of a man is always in seasons. There are three major seasons and milestones in the life of a man.
M – Morning
A – Afternoon
N – Night

The month of October here. These seasons in a man’s life are productive or wasted depending on the habits and activities of the man.

The scriptures says:
So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. (Psalms 90:12 KJV)

This morning, I will like to remind you on a few things, though not exhaustive, that you should consider as the month begins. Here is a Checklist For Your Marital Journey 

1. Read The Book and at least a book
What has knowledge got to do with it? The scripture says a man of knowledge increases strength! The Book is God’s word, it should be read daily and consistently. It is good to read The Book and at least a book! A book could be on any other topic which ensures self development of perhaps on relationships and marriage.

2. Fast and pray at least one day.
This is good for you because it helps you to stay tuned spiritually. You see, the success of any believer is dependent on his ability and discipline to connect with God, hear His voice and do His bidding. Fasting and Prayers helps you to hear God more. You can join KHC Global Fasting and Prayer Programme on 3rd to 5th October 

3. Walk in love and forgiveness throughout
As the month begins, can you truly say, “I have forgiven all?” This is very important. Make sure you don’t begin the month with any kind of offence from previous months or years. Begin the new month in a new way and with a cleansed heart. Let the hurts and the wounds go with past month, so that newness of God’s favour can be yours in Jesus name.

Married Couples who have issues and have not be talking can use the opportunity to end all quarrels and start again. Let love cover a multitude of sins. End all strife and let the healing balm of God work on your soul. The Psalmist said, “He restoreth my soul!” I pray for you this morning, God will restore your soul in Jesus name!

4. Stay away from all sexual compromise and other sins
A child of God is never comfortable with habitual sins. Something in him does not agree with a sinful lifestyle. It is possible you have made a mistake or two, but you should be quick to ask God for forgiveness, and then refuse to go back into such sins. Sin shall not have dominion over you, so says the scriptures. Don’t go back into what you already walked away from. It is not fashionable to eat one’s vomits!

2Pe 2:21-22 (MSG) Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”

5. Talk to your mentor at least once
Life is in phases; men are in sizes. You will never come to a place in life where you know it all, you will always need people around you who have done what you are trying to do. Never abuse the gift of access granted you by people above you. Learn to ask questions. You don’t go to the house of your mentor and start watching TV or chatting away. You ask questions, because the wisdom of a man is encapsulated in his words!

6. Save some money
It is a good habit to always save some money, however small. As the month begins, can you truly say how much came into your hands, how you expended it and how much you are able to save in the past months? Do you have a money diary? You should, where you keep you transactions to the last Kobo.

7. Honour God with your tithe and seed
You already know this if you are a child of God. It is one thing you should never stop doing, and it is one thing you should constantly do. It is the pathway to your financial increase, and as you give, God, gives you more! It is the plan of God that He will prosper you as you give and enable His work to be done on earth. God wants to make you a channel, not a dam. 

It is a partnership that God is calling you to. If you never pay your tithe, you wouldn’t know how much you are missing out until you start to honour God. Even in business world, when someone helps you to get a job or deal, you give a certain percentage to that person voluntarily. It is ethical. Has God been good to you in any way? Then it is simple common sense to give back to His work.

8. Serve God with your time
This is a powerful principle. Wherever you find yourself, make sure you get busy for God and you know what? God will get busy for you. Service preserves your health and provides for you. 

Above is A Checklist For Your Marital Journey

Exo 23:25 (KJV) And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.

May God grant more understanding!

I will go forward and press forth

Pray that God will honour you

Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well! (Psalms 90:12 Message)

Read a book today

John 4

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Here’s What You Do When Discouraged

Here’s What You Do When Discouraged

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Here’s What You Do When Discouraged. The very life itself seems to be oozing out of Sandy! She was just recovering from a major disappointment that life meted out at her and then another thing happened. Yes, she lost a relationship, and while she was still licking her wounds, when she was laid off her work. 

The whole horde of hell seemed to be against her. Has God abandoned her? What do you do when discouraged?

Mr. and Mrs. Johnsons were not exempt from their own share of happenstances of life. They quarreled in repeated cycles till they began to demonize themselves. Would that ever end?

Here’s What You Do When Discouraged. There is one thing I will like to tell you this morning! In the midst of that discouragement, Never Compromise!”

Disappointments can often make a person vulnerable. The reactions from people, friends, family, and the environment can create unbelievable pressures that can quickly increase vulnerabilities to temptations around.

Now, I speak to you this morning, as by the Spirit of God, don’t compromise!
Singles, never allow pressures to push you into the “whoever-comes-corner! That is not your portion! You cannot end up with a wife beater because of pressures! You cannot end up hooking up with a son of Belial because of pressures. You can’t walk down the aisle with a strange woman because of pressure. You cannot dine with an adulterer because of pressure.
Listen to me, you have waited a while, your waiting will not be in vain! Your waiting will not culminate in shame! Your waiting will not be a ‘wasting!” God has you in mind and He will not fail you.

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. (Isaiah 40:29 KJV)
When you are down and out, rather than turn to compromise, turn to God. He will lift you up in that weak moment. It is not a sin to become weak, it only becomes a problem when you try to feed your weaknesses by compromise rather than turn to God. God is waiting to give power to the faint and increase in strength when you turn to him.
So, my dear, when you are so down and discouraged when you are so weak and feel like crying all day, go back to God in that moment! He will speak to you and assure you of what He will do in your life.
When you feel like going back to the world, go to the word and to the throne of grace lest you become like the proverbial dog that went back to its vomit!
But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire. (2 Peter 2:22 KJV)
That will never be your portion. Continuing from the verse above,
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: (Isaiah 40:30 KJV)
Many people will fall around you. Many will go back and compromise and for a while it would seem to be working for them. In fact, it would like they are smart while you are so foolish! You cannot follow people; you are to follow God. Why? You’ll see it in the next verse.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31 KJV)
Here’s What You Do When Discouraged. Let your waiting be a ‘waiting upon the Lord.” It will change your level, it will bring speed into your life, and you will be able to do a lot without getting tired. It will all end in a testimony, when you refuse to compromise in those vulnerable moments!
Couples, be in agreement with your spouse. Avoid any form of rancor that may lead to bitterness, for such can dissipate the anointing quickly. Don’t allow concerned family members to push you into compromise of any sort, focus on God and you will surely see His salvation!

Here’s What You Do When Discouraged. Enjoy your moments together, at the times you abound or you are abased.
For those trusting God for fruit of the womb, I pray for you this morning, that God will open your womb in Jesus name! Whatever could be the hindrance, low sperm count, blocked tubes, abnormal hormonal level or whatever it is,  in Jesus name. 

I will not compromise

Lord, give me strength in Jesus name in areas of weaknesses

He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. (Isaiah 40:29 Message)

Cut off from every compromise and all negative influences

John 3

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30 Days Promise Challenge

Handling The Marital Valley Of Death 

Handling The Marital Valley Of Death 

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Handling The Marital Valley Of Death. Sandy was on cloud nine. It was just a few weeks before her wedding! D-Day was approaching and her ecstasy was palpable. God has given him a handsome pocket-loaded man! Preparations were in top gear and then the unexpected happened. His husband-to-be called off the wedding! No warnings, no reasons, he just withdrew. Sandy was paranoid.

What? Sandy thought she was going to die! Suicidal thoughts crept up. What would people think? What kind of curse was that? Her tender heart spiraled down into an emotional abyss where darkness enveloped her very mind and despondency wrapped her up.

Mr. And Mrs. Johnson on the other hand, who got married three years ago, faithfully serving God with their time, money and energy just had hell unleashed on them as the husband lost a plush job he had barely engaged in less than a year! It was devastating for them as a family. How could God allow this? They had given testimony, they had told several people, they had made plans and then all that comes crashing down!

Well, Sandy and the Johnsons are passing through the valley of the shadow of death!

Psa 23:3 (KJV) He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Everything looks good and yummy here. He is leading me on the path of righteousness. Cool. But wait for the next verse!

Psa 23:4 (KJV) Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

What? How did paths of righteousness quickly turn into the valley of the shadow of death? To now think that it is God leading me? What is going on here?

Now here is the catch. Here is what to do in Handling The Marital Valley Of Death 

Valley experiences will come in relationships and marriages. Jilted, abused, cheated, disappointed, abandoned, used, and so on.

Your reaction is what determines your victory! You are not to murmur or complain! You are to thank God for where you are and then you will see why He led you through that valley!

There are things you hold on to, that He does not want for you. There are people in your life that will ruin everything five years down the line. There are possible suitors who might turn you into a widow or widower in a few years and you can’t see it! There are handsome evil men and beautiful strange women!

The only way God can deliver you is to lead you into that valley. It is the valley of the shadow of death because things die there, that the old might go and new can be ushered in.

Did you notice what it says in the second part of the verse?

…I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Don’t fear. Don’t panic. He is right there with you and you won’t perish in the fire!

Don’t complain that the guy left you in the cold. There is the new you are not aware of, which can only be unveiled and possessed with the right attitude. Don’t blame God because you lost a job or contract, rather rejoice and thank God.

Tell God, I don’t understand, but I believe you are my shepherd. You may lead me round, but you will not lead me wrong!

The devil wants you to get angry, murmur, throw tantrums and get offended, when you do that, you actually lost. Like job was told by his wife, the devil wants you to curse God and die in that valley!

Job’s response was epic!

Job 2:10 (MSG) He told her, “You’re talking like an empty-headed fool. We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?” Not once through all this did Job sin. He said nothing against God.

In verse 13, he said;
Job 13:15 (KJV) Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

If you can switch into praise if you can sing a song, if you can rejoice in the midst of obvious contradictions, you will see the salvation of God, you will see victory and you will laugh last. You see, it is after you have the right response in praise and joy that the next verse becomes a reality.

Psa 23:5 (KJV) Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

God then gives you victory before those that have mocked you and clarity comes to your mind and your cup runs over, which is abundance! When this happens, then you’ve done great in Handling The Marital Valley Of Death!

May God grant you more understanding! Good morning!

I choose to rejoice

Lord, open my eyes to see the new in this situation

Psa 23:2 (MSG) You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from.

Pray in the Spirit for about an hour

John 2

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30 Days Promise Challenge

Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You

Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You. Sandy was badly hurt, that ten years after the blow meted to her by her lover, she was still hurt! Without knowing, the hurt has morphed into wounds and the wounds have crystallized into bitterness. This in turn affected everything about her life.

How do you forgive in the real practical sense of it?

Forgiveness is not talking about the issue. Forgiveness is not explaining the situation. Forgiveness is not reporting the person to your pastor. Forgiveness goes beyond that especially when the issue is very grave and hurting.

Usually, the female gender is the most hurt, they are more like at the receiving end. A lady attaches more to a relationship than a guy will. Man is a logical being, so it is easier for him to walk away from relationships and console himself so that somebody else will show up.

The lady on the other hand, has her whole life, emotions and essence woven and intertwined in a relationship because she is a relationship being, so it is usually more hurting for her especially when she is not the one initiating the break-up.

In marriage; it is the same, the wife is more hurt. When I am settling quarrels between a couple, you find the man smiling after a while, but the lady finds it more difficult to let go like that, depending on the process that led to the hurt. However, in marriage, the greatest thing you can learn to do is to forgive! In fact, it is good you practice advanced forgiveness!

Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You. The first thing to do in forgiving a person is to

1. Decide to forgive

This step is actually important because you can say “I have forgiven so and so,” when in reality, you never decided to forgive such a person. Forgiveness is a conscious and deliberate decision you make. You have been jilted, used, abandoned, rejected, abused sexually, treated shabbily, and so on? Let go! Decide to forgive so that you can move on. The best revenge is success and good marriage. But that will only come when you forgive! Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You is a must!

2. Ask God to give you the needed strength to forgive. 

If the name of the person who hurt you is mentioned, and your countenance changes, you have not forgiven yet. If you hissed at the thought of the person, you have not forgiven yet. In such instances, you need strength from God. You need to pray that God should reach within you, touch you where no man can touch you, and heal you indeed.

Your offender who you thought would rot in hell can meet Jesus along the way and go to heaven! You that were offended too should make heaven and not allow someone to occupy a space in your heart springing up into bitterness. Being bitter will never make you better! Wives, forgive your husbands, yes, you think he is naughty and sometimes wicked, but forgive him all the same, so that you can both believe God for greater things! Never curse your husband in your heart!

Embrace him tonight. Let your love be rekindled. Don’t give the enemy space in your home. Husbands, forgive you,r wives, You think she is stubborn and disrespectful but forgive her so that your prayers will not be grounded. Call her on phone and assure her you have forgiven! She might come up with uncooperative attitudes, but ignore it, and bury your ego, she probably wants to be sure you are remorseful. Ignore her attitude and be resolute in making your marriage work. This is what Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You entails.

I will probably still write more on this tomorrow.

I forgive all who have hurt me

I receive strength to forgive in Jesus name

bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (Colossians 3:13 ESV)
List out names of all who hurt you and forgive them one by one
John 1

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Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life

Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson were the quintessential couple everybody admired. But what people saw was the pulchritude. Within the family, the demon of anger reigned supreme. In no time the seemingly beautiful marriage was ruined, because of uncontrollable anger. That which could have been one of the best became a mess. Their marital life could have been a counsel to others, but they canceled each other out!

There are some things that will work and there are some things that will not work. Now, you don’t need to spend another five years trying to experiment what will work and what will not work. You only need to be willing to learn. Every time you make a mistake, it has the potential of hardening your heart against God. This is a tactic of the devil, so life is not to be permanently lived on Mistake Street by Error Avenue. You can decide to go for wisdom.

Be slow to get angry. Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life.
This is what the scripture expressly advises. Not a few have lost precious relationships because of anger tantrums. Now, it is okay to be angry sometimes as a human, I do get angry myself sometimes. But when your anger becomes compulsive, uncontrollable and bothering on violence, you need to be careful.
When you get angry, you beat people around you, pick up a fight or destroy things, then you need to consciously pray to God for help. Go on the net and Google ‘anger management’ and get some materials that will help you. Go into the scriptures and study every instance where the words, “anger, angry, wrath, etc occurs.
One of such scriptures says
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9 KJV)
In order words, if you get angry too quickly, you are a…. (clearing throat) I didn’t write that, you said it!
The translation I like most is this:
Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head. (Ecclesiastes 7:9 Message)

The Message translation isn’t playing at all! The next time, you get so angry, walk away and check the mirror, if you can see the lumps there, relax first before you make a decision! Unnecessary anger will ruin relationships. Anger problems will make you say things you will regret later.
See the example of these guys in the scriptures who had serious anger problems.
Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their self will they digged down a wall (Genesis 49:5-6 KJV)

Here, their father began to talk about these two brothers who in fits of anger, killed and wiped out a whole community! You see, unnecessary anger will lead to death…death of things, death of relationships, death of opportunities, and even death of marriage!

Do you know how many people have called their lawyers in anger and opted out of marriage, then got married to another person angrily only to discover that the new person is worse? May you not get married to an angry person who has an instrument of cruelty in their habitations. Their father was so furious at their actions and actually placed a curse on them!

Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. (Genesis 49:7 KJV)
Look at those words: scatter, divide…that is what fierce anger leads to! Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life
If as a single you can see that you have anger issues, don’t ignore it and don’t play the denial card. Talk to your pastor or mentor, get books and read, get into the scripture and study so that your mind can be renewed, and pray to God to help you!
Now when you pray to God to help, more people will come your way to get you angry more and provoke you the more, so that each time you lose it, you can really know you need help and then you can consciously begin to work on it.
As married couples, if both of you are angry at the same time, it can be dangerous. There are husbands that will not talk to their wives for days. That is not being a man! There are wives that get hurt at everything and will close up their spirits against their husbands. How will your prayers be answered?! You can’t run your home like that! You are trusting God to conceive, yet you are always fighting, don’t you know that is the devil?
If one is angry, the other should calm down. Here is some advice for you:
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1 KJV)

Try and see how it works. When the other is angry, don’t raise your voice too. Talk in a whisper, the demon of wrath will fly away! You see that demon works by working you up and causing you to vibrate like the fan made in Aba!

So, when you refuse to vibrate and say the wrong words, the demon loses its power!
If he or she goes like, ‘You are crazy! You are mad!’ (That shouldn’t be the language of God’s children)

And then you respond with, ‘Your father is crazy, you mama don craze!”

What do you think will happen?

What about a soft answer, almost a whisper, that goes like, “dear, it is well.” Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life
God will help us all in Jesus’ name.

I rebuke the spirit of anger in your relationship and marriage, I ask the Spirit of God to intervene in your satiation and give you the wisdom to handle it in Jesus’ name!
I am not a fool, therefore, I don’t get angry easily.
I curse every root of anger and wrath in my life in Jesus’ name
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: (Proverbs 22:24 KJV)
Read a book on Anger
Gen 16

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Here’s An Invitation To True Love

Here’s An Invitation To True Love

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Here’s an Invitation To True Love. Sandy is a church girl. She goes to church regularly, belongs to the choir, and serves God passionately, but she is also caught up with some habitual sins, which she has not been able to confront for a long time.
George is the fellowship head of his campus fellowship but has sexual relationships with some of the flock he is supposed to keep. He knows his lifestyle doesn’t please God, but he would find himself from time to time doing what he preaches against.
Mr. & Mrs. Johnson want to serve God and they are doing all they can. It is just that they are both compromisers, they are seeing someone else. They know it is wrong, but they continued, thinking that somehow, things will just work out. They are practicing what is known as an ”open relationship” where both know they are cheating on each other!
What is common with these people?
They are all involved with what is not going to work. They are all hoping God’s mercy will work for them, and really it will work for a while.

Let’s take a look at the scriptures and see some principles. Here’s An Invitation To True Love, The Invitation to buy:
Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. (Isaiah 55:1 KJV)
Here we see God inviting you to come and buy what you will eat and which will do you good. But these are not the kind of stuff you buy with money. These are the kinds of stuff you buy with time and with your heart.
The very first principle that will ensure success in your relationship, marriage, and life is to have a thirst for the things of God and to go to the waters.
The waters talk about the word of God. You buy revelation for your situation, not with your money but with a sincere and dedicated heart unto God. 

You see, your thirst for a good life, a good marriage, a good home, and the good things in life is legitimate. Your thirst to make it, become significant in life, and be wealthy is a legitimate feeling. The hunger to quit living at the lowest rung of the ladder and move up is genuine, but you must take a step further to buy, the right way!
You buy with a good heart unto God and with spending time in God’s word regularly. You see, this is a lasting and tested principle that will quench that thirst of yours.
That thirst cannot be quenched with sex with the one you are not married to. You see, the hunger you feel in your soul, the emptiness of ideas, the feelings of loneliness that envelopes you can only be pacified and satisfied by honoring God’s invitation.
The devil has its own invitation cards as well.
It is an invitation to compromise. It is an invitation to spiritual apathy and mediocrity. It is an invitation to the road that leads to hell. The invitation card looks so alluring and beautiful, but you see, the consequence of honoring an invitation is not in the invitation card but in the person who is inviting you!
The guy who is insisting you should prove your love with sex is offering an invitation. The lady who told you to your face that you are old fashioned by staying away from sex is also offering an invitation.
Do you remember the invitation of the strange woman in Proverbs 7?
So now I’ve come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face––and here you are! I’ve spread fresh, clean sheets on my bed, colorful imported linens. My bed is aromatic with spices and exotic fragrances. Come, let’s make love all night, spend the night in ecstatic lovemaking! My husband’s not home; he’s away on business, and he won’t be back for a month (Proverbs 7:15-20 Message)
But you see, the invitation is not always the end of the story. There is always a severe consequence when you honour the wrong invitation.
See what follows:

Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. Before you know it, he’s trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop, Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow, Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over (Proverbs 7:21-23 Message)
This is a clear invitation to adultery! Married couples, I challenge you today! Decide to refuse every wrong invitation. It is your choice! That guy or lady that seems better than your spouse is a trap! Do not get tangled in bed with the one you are not married to! The agony that follows such is intense!

God’s invitation will lead you to the good life you have always wanted.
Start the day with God’s word. Stay away from sin. Decide to live for God by refusing every compromise. Don’t play along thinking something will just happen, nothing just happens, everything is a consequence of an action, an effect after a cause!
I will conclude this morning by showing you God’s invitation through the mouth of Jesus Christ. No other invitation will beat this one!
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)
Now you won’t really understand the weight of the above invitation until you read it in another translation, and I conclude with that this morning!
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me––watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill–fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly (Matthew 11:28-30 Message)
Oh Jesus! I could preach a whole day from that. I challenge you to refuse and discard every other invitation and accept the invitation from the lover of your soul! Embracing the lover of your soul will lead you into the arms of the love of your life! Here’s An Invitation To True Love

What if you already get entangled as a single or married? Then get disentangled! It’s an issue of your decision, your God, and what God wants for your life! May God help you!
I refuse to honour every wrong invitation
Lord, help me to thirst and hunger after you
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30 ESV)
Tear every wrong invitation card
Eph 1

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Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover

Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover. Mrs. Johnson was petrified. She wished the earth would open up and swallow her. She has just been embarrassed by her husband who shouted at her in the public.

She was like a chicken stripped of all its feathers, as she stood there, completely befuddled and disconcerted. If it was someone else who did this, she would have understood, but it was her husband, who was supposed to be her protector, that exposed her as it were, to preys who looked and sighed cynically.

It was a similar thing that happened between George and Sandy who were not yet married. It was George that was embarrassed in their courtship right in the market! They had gone shopping together and because George was unable to buy what Sandy wanted, she dropped her fiance like a hot potato, not considering what others thought about the situation. She left him there in the cold, and walked away, damning the consequences.

What are those things you shouldn’t do in public? Let’s dive into this. 

Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover

1. Don’t talk down on your spouse in the public
Avoid this as much as you can.  Do not belittle yourselves before friends or family. Get the back of one another. Defend one another and then you can talk more later in the private. 

2. Do not correct your spouse publicly.
Correction can become criticism quickly depending on the scenario involved. Do not correct your spouse in the presence of friends and family. Wait till you are alone to make that correction.

3. Do not shut down or shout at your spouse privately or publicly.
This is one of the things that hurt ladies most. Shouting them down. Avoid doing that to the one you love. And of course, it is more grievous when it is the wife doing that to her husband!

4. Do not make your spouse an object of a joke. Don’t try to be comical by using your spouse as the object of laughter. There is something defective about people laughing at your spouse based on something you said.  It can hurt the bone. Simply avoid such. Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover

I will not embarrass my spouse

Lord, help me to stay strong and focused on you 

Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase. (Job 8:7 KJV)

Keep giving, keep serving and keep rejoicing

Numbers 16-18

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Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are always at a loggerhead. They never agreed. Every statement is a sore point from where conflict arises and intensifies. “I don’t want peace,” “I don’t want peace,” the popular soundtrack on social media are the words that best describe their lives and marriage.

As Mr. And Mrs. Johnson sat before me in the office, I was able to find some habits that are the root causes of their constant imbroglio. It was a long therapy session, but we were able to identify the problems!

There are a few words of wisdom I offered to them. I have been married for twenty-two years and I will be fifty next month, so I have garnered a few things along the line. Below are some of the advice I gave them.

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage
1. Do not report your spouse to your parents or in-laws.
It wouldn’t always work out. Every parent is sentimental towards their children. It is just natural. The bias is as sure as your palms. 

Emotions will flare, and there would be bias.

What happens mostly is that you report to them when there are issues, but you don’t call them back when you settle the issues. So they keep making up their minds over time. You keep feeding them with negative stories and you know what, words are so powerful. In no time, if they are not cautious, they will continue to regurgitate all you fed them with and that would be toxic to your marriage.

The only time you should report to parents is when it is only the parents that your spouse listens to.

As singles, you are not yet married, and you are already reporting each other to your prospective in-laws. It is not a good way to go.

It’s akin to one cooking food that he won’t be able to eat.

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage

2. Do not report your spouse to your colleagues or boss.

If you do, the devil can take advantage of the situation and set you up for an emotional affair.

Once there is an emotional affair, you are only a few touches away from a full-blown adulterous affair.

The beak cake you don’t want to eat, don’t fry it! Reporting your spouse or your loved one continually is a breach of the covenant. Imagine someone hearing a one-sided story many times. The advice you will be offered will be imbalanced and the emotional dependency that will be created from such a relationship will be parasitic at the end of the day.

For singles, in courtship, how do you take advice about your relationship from a friend who is not in any relationship? Something is not quite right! Look for someone who has done what you are trying to do!

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage

3. Do not manipulate your spouse emotionally

Once your spouse says something or does something that does not resonate with you, you simply shut down and withdraw to your shell.

It is more or less like breeding strife. The devil can take advantage of this type of emotional manipulation and wreak even more havoc. 

This is not the right thing to do as it affects your prayer life!

Stay together!

May God bless your marriage!

I am wise

Pray to God to open your eyes 

Pro 6:23 (MSG)  For sound advice is a beacon, good teaching is a light, moral discipline is a life path.

Pray for direction  

Numbers 14

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When Your Lover Says These Do Not Ignore

When Your Lover Says These Do Not Ignore

Reading Time: 3 minutes

When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. Mrs. Johnson became distracted and was falling in love with another man at her work place. She really loved God and yet she was sliding down the drain. She couldn’t believe it. Her mind was convoluted, and her emotions were like a roller coaster. She continually expressed her situation to her husband in very subtle statements, but her insensitive husband couldn’t decode the precarious situation.

On the other hand, George who was seeing Sandy was getting distracted by another lady. He tried getting attention of Sandy so as to fend off the new feelings, but Sandy did not have time for him, hence his vulnerability was amplified.

The reality is that statements made by singles in courtship or those married often show the depth of the trap within a relationship or marriage.

Even when you are not in any relationship as a single, your utterances can often reveal the kind of issues you have and that you need to address.

It happens all the time. Born again or not. Distractions set in. Traps come in various forms. Attacks in the mind and against the marriage are incessant.

Adulterous traps, akin to traps used to catch rats, are demonically placed all over. Snares, on almost every turn.

There are statements that your spouse or lover makes that show he or she is being distracted and needs your attention. Don’t ignore your spouse at such moments because you are needed to salvage the situation.

When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore

What are those statements?

Here we go.

1. You don’t have time for me again

You are always around your spouse and yet he or she makes this statement? You need to pay attention lest somebody take your place emotionally. This statement is calling for you to make time available so your lover or spouse can have reassurance that will help deflect the new rush of feelings!

Do not ignore it!

Do not defend!

Do not argue!

Do not turn it into ridicule.

Just make time and have some deep conversations.

Let me drop a word for singles that are not in any relationship. When a single friend says this to you, he or she is trying to show interest and is weighing your reaction to know whether to pursue or retreat!  Testing the waters! 

So if you don’t like the person and you are not considering any commitments, you can reply with

“Which time now? I be your boyfriend / girlfriend?”

That is enough red light!

But if you really love the person, then you say something like this:

“Haba! You know that you are special to me, don’t you?:”

The person will get the green light to proceed.

When Your Lover Says These Do Not Ignore

2. You are far away from me
When your spouse makes this statement, don’t take it lightly. Don’t fight or turn it into a quarrel. Listen to what is being said and what is not being said.

It is possible to be physically close to the one you love, and yet be far away emotionally. That is why couples who sleep on the same bed daily can often complain of loneliness. Sounds ridiculous? It’s the reality!

This person is telling you that the farther away you are, emotionally, the bigger the gap you leave for others to fill.

Married couples, prioritize your relationship with your spouse.

For those in a relationship, and not yet married, there is a twist to this statement. You need to find out if the statement is genuine or simply a call to give in to sex. Some tact and wisdom are needed here. Some decoding of words, and finding out of motives is required here.

When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. I will stop here and continue later.

I am not deceived

Lord, lead me in the right way!

Psa 74:20 (MSG)  Remember your promises; the city is in darkness, the countryside violent.

Pray in the Spirit  

Exodus 7

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Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage

Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have not spoken to each other for one month! What? Are you whining me ni? And yet they are both praying daily! Don’t they understand?

There are the good days in marriage and those “bad” days when issues arise between married couples. There are days singles in courtship go out for ice cream, eat out, to cinemas, and all that and there are days calls are not picked up! Killer attitudes in relationships and marriage must not be allowed to seep in!

Wise couples make up their mind that nothing will come between them. Foolish couples gravitate to the times and allow situations to determine their joy.

It is wise to work together and get past “feelings!” It is a fool who fights and bickers over everything.

When the couple is financially buoyant, husband and wife are friends. When the finances are down, there is tactical withdrawal on one or both sides.

Love in marriage should not be based on what is available or what is not.

When either of the spouses starts feeling cheated, it is a fundamental and foundational issue whether they really love themselves genuinely.

If husband and wife have a mutual understanding that they are one, it becomes easier to handle these tense moments.

Selfishness has many flavours. The husband or wife is not complaining, but there is uneasy silence and withdrawal. At the end of the day, they often mess up their faith and their trust in God.

The devil loves such moments. He brings all kinds of suggestions and lies. But then, the devil has nothing to bring to the table except falsehood.

Oh, that husband and wife learn to be sensitive to these antics of the devil.

Be wise. Be prayerful. Never conclude and never think evil of your spouse.

Every time thoughts seep in that your spouse who has been good has suddenly become evil and wicked, know that the devil is at work.

You must be wise and learn to discern the antics of the devil and then reject them.

Singles, beware of sinful traps. These traps slow things down. They often hinder prayers! It is absurd to be praying and fasting for who to marry and at the same time you are giving your body out to hold down potential guys.

“If I no give am, wetin he want, he go leave me na!”

“Make in go na! Abeg!” In name be Abedne-go!

Dear singles, hear me, the one who really loves you will not insist on sex or trap you with sex! Both the guy or the lady can be guilty of this! There is a difference between sex, love, and lust! 

Singles and Married, beware of self-deception. These are Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage. You are in strife but you tell yourself all is well. Religious spirits collude with self-deception and there will be a shipwreck of faith. Fasting and prayer become a waste of time because the heart is not right.

Some of the things you get angry over are things that should bring out compassion in you towards your spouse of lover if you indeed love yourselves.

And in these vulnerable moments, know that the devil can easily set you in direct or indirect adultery.

Suddenly enjoying the company of the opposite sex at such moments shows that hell is strategizing over you. Going a step further into a discussion at emotional levels, laughing together, throwing banters at each other while you come home to your spouse grouchy and irritated are all orchestrations of hell to thwart God’s purpose, frustrate your prayers, and make you a loser at the end.

Be wise. Be sensitive. Be selfless. Be spiritual.

And what makes this even more intense, is that all prayers at such moments of tactical strife and buried irritations are truncated.

God looks into the heart. So, the scripture aptly says

Pro 4:23 (KJV)  Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

What is going on in your heart?

Somebody who had a revelation of heaven said that our thoughts in heaven are louder than our voices on earth. If that is the case, what do you think you are saying to all of heaven in your thoughts? Would you be proud of them? Selah!

I pray that God will give you more understanding and strength to make needed changes. Let go of these killer attitudes and thank me later! 

Be blessed in your marriage.

My heart is right toward my spouse

Lord, help me in my marriage

Gal 6:9  And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Pray for your spouse

Job 40 – 42

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This Is Not Good For Any Marriage

This Is Not Good For Any Marriage

Reading Time: 2 minutes

This Is Not Good For Any Marriage. Responsibility has been abdicated by Mr. Johnson! His wife has become the head of the house. As much as the wife thought she is helping out, an abnormality has crept into that home and it would impact all including the children. They would grow up to see an abnormality as the norm!
Sometimes, it is just the husband’s way of maintaining peace at home, but eventually, storms are gathering because God’s order is being violated. The fact that volcanic eruption has not taken place is not enough of an indication that molten magma is absent within the crust in all its fury.

What are the abnormal scenarios?

1. When the wife becomes the head of the house

 Certainly, this is not good for any marriage.

A marriage in which the wife calls the shot is one that is trying to come against God’s order.

A marriage in which the wife insists on her own way of doing things all the time, disregards the leadership of her husband, and manipulates him into doing her bidding will not last.

Eph 5:23 (KJV)  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

It is simply not God’s order. Most of the time, husbands who allow such to pass and seem docile are involved in one compromise or the other. Their conscious abdication and docility are the price they pay for the unfaithfulness. 

Sooner or later, you’ll discover that you cannot be wiser than God. This Is Not Good For Any Marriage

For singles, do not marry anybody who is lazy, laid back, unwilling to work, and unwilling to take responsibility. This is because this will continue or get even more intense after marriage! The accompanying frustration can hasten departure from this milieu.

2. When the husband abdicates responsibility

A marriage in which the husband refuses to play his role by just being irresponsible will be riddled with issues.

The role of the father cannot be over-emphasized.

Our regeneration needs men that would stand up to what God has called them to do!

The husband is to provide leadership!

Eph 5:23 (MSG)  The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.

The eyes are located in the head, hence, the sight faculty, the navigation system for the family, the compass, and direction all lie with the husband or father.

The moment this is not supplied, the family can actually get lost in the forest of abuses, absurdities, addictions, and more vile things! This Is Not Good For Any Marriage.

For those who are single, being responsible over you includes waiting for sex till after the wedding! When a party wants sex, by all means, something is not quite right. This will also play out in other areas of life. Being responsible is being able to delay gratification!

 I will stop here this morning!

My relationship/marriage will be good 

Father, restore your joy back into my relationship/marriage 

Tit 3:3-4 (KJV) For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. [4] But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,

Be committed to your relationship / marriage

Tit 3

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The Signs Of An Unhealthy Marriage

The Signs Of An Unhealthy Marriage

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The Signs Of An Unhealthy Marriage. Just like a person can be diseased and wouldn’t show for a while, it is possible for a marriage to be unhealthy without immediate expression of the underlying problems. But there would be tell-tale signs. There are many of them, but we will take a look at a few of them this morning.

The Signs Of An Unhealthy Marriage

1. When there is no relationship with God

A marriage in which the couple has no relationship with God is sure to crack with time. You cannot build a home successfully without God. 

Psa 127:1 (KJV)  Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

It is only God that can turn a house into a home.

Don’t just have a relationship with God, build it, nurture it.

It’s the same for singles getting ready to meet their loved one or already in courtship. Don’t fall in love with someone who doesn’t have a conscious relationship with God.

How do you know a person who doesn’t have a relationship with God? It’s too simple. His actions, words, choices, and priorities will reveal the kind of person he is.

You don’t just want a handsome guy, you also want a spiritual man. You don’t just want a lady with hot legs, her heart must be hot for God too!

It takes a man who really knows God not to slap or beat his wife! It takes a lady who knows God not to become a constant irritation to his husband!

2. When the couple is not accountable

An unaccountable couple is sitting on a keg of powder, waiting to explode any minute.

Life is all about wisdom, and every error and failure experienced is an expression of foolishness lurking within.

Accountability helps you to learn from older couples and those who have been where you are trying to be.

It is the most dangerous thing in this world to fall in love with someone who is not accountable! Singles that hath ears, let them hear now!

The sad part of a counseling session is always that part where this kind of conversation ensues:

“Who is his/her Pastor?”

“He doesn’t have a Pastor”

“What about his parents?”

“His parents can’t talk to him. He won’t listen”

“Does he listen to any of his friends?”

“None of his friends can talk to him.”

“Who does he listen to then?”

“He listens to nobody!”

The moment a guy or lady has disfranchised themselves from all authority figures, the moment they are isolated from any help, the moment they are disconnected from those that can speak into their lives, it is always a complicated situation! So you will do yourself a favour by considering only those who are accountable! If you are already married, ensure you sort this part of accountability lovingly, and prayerfully. May God help us all.

These are two of The Signs Of An Unhealthy Marriage. I will stop here this morning!

Good morning!

I will be 50 in October! Don’t forget to mention me in your prayers today…

Lord, I love you passionately.

Father, please set my heart on fire to love you passionately.

Psa 42:1 (KJV)   As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.

Love your spouse passionately.

Job 32

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The Crazy Thing About “I Do”

The Crazy Thing About “I Do”

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The Crazy Thing About “I Do” The day you walked down that aisle and said “Ido,” something happened. It’s almost crazy! Your body is no longer your own, it belongs to your spouse. 

A fusion takes place in the realm of the spirit, which is so strong that God proclaimed, “let no man put asunder!”

God becomes the witness of this union, and any attempt to drive a wedge in between this union is coming against God Himself. 

As couples who are believers, and well-grounded, the weapon of the devil against you is strategic.

If you are a weak believer with no firm resolve, he can easily bring adultery and infidelity to the table and you will be swept off your feet if you are far from God.

But with those who may be grounded, the devil still has strategies. His weapon is to keep you divided, torment you in your thoughts, and keep you perpetually in strife. 

You are not in adultery, but in your mind, you are probably worse off.

This will affect the whole family because your thoughts are magnetic and will determine many things around you.

How will you pray and agree together when the mind of one of the spouses is riddled with doubt, contempt, and dislike for the other?

This is the devil. And you get to know this in little things.

Your spouse is easily excited talking to others but irritated when you are alone. 

The friend you saw in your spouse as courting sweethearts has evaporated into thin air!

Sometimes, this shows up as singles in courtship too. Unexplainable and perpetual irritation from one party could be an indication of deep-seated issues. 

Before you start blaming him or her, you should take responsibility first for where you find yourself, humble yourself and ask God to help you.

It is another problem entirely when you keep blaming your spouse for your own actions, neglect, and carelessness. That can be unfair and you will never change that way.

It is like a General Manager who keeps blaming his employees for losses and the employees who keep blaming the Manager for their ineffectiveness. That organization is in a quandary!

Stop the blame game! It is a trap of the devil.

See, there is no point wasting your time, there is much to do!

Why would you fast forty days and then use four days of strife to rubbish everything?

Why would you sow seeds for years and then pull them out with careless, selfish thoughts and words?

Common, get on the same page and combine your weapons against the enemy of your soul.

From the day you got married, you can no longer do it alone!

So, get over trivial issues, be it husband or wife, and be on the same page so that you can both enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings in your life.

As singles in courtship, you are simply dissipating a lot of power when you entertain strife continually!

May God bless your relationship, marriage, and home.

I will cooperate with my spouse

Devil, take your hands off my marriage in Jesus name

Rom 14:16 (KJV)  Let not then your good be evil spoken of

Write down what you love about your fiance/spouse and thank God for those things. 

Job 24 – 28

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The Husband You Should Not Be

The Husband You Should Not Be

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The Husband You Should Not Be. He is the wife-beater. He is the cheating husband. He is the Mummy’s boy. Someone once said the word husband means “He that binds the house together! House-Band! There are a lot of things to learn about how to be a good husband! Sadly enough, we were only taught animal “husbandry” in school.

Here is a list of The Husband You Should Not Be

1. The Wife beater

The wife-beater is the violent husband. He is short-fused, and so gets violent at any little provocation.

He is impatient and believes so much in using his fist. Somewhere in his mind, he believes a good slap is more effective than a conversation.

He probably grew up watching his dad beat his wife!

His wife lives in perpetual fear, not knowing when to talk or when to shut up.

If he has an equally aggressive wife, their home is always in chaos, settling one quarrel after the other. After a while, the neighbors don’t bother again. It becomes a usual ritual.

If he has a docile wife, he would feel he is being effective while in effect, he is losing it.

If he is a churchgoer, he blames his antics on the devil every time. Even the devil is amazed at how somebody can lie!

This cannot continue. God demands a change. That woman God gave you is to be cared for and cherished!

“Pastor, you don’t know my wife!”

“You are right. I don’t know her, but I do know the scripture! You are to love that woman!

Say Amen!

2. The cheating husband

The cheating husband, for whatever reason, has been enraptured in stolen waters. He is relishing in another man’s bread, and the scripture aptly says, it is indeed sweet for a while, but in a moment and without warning, it turns into the gravel in his mouth! He is bouncing on a bed that doesn’t belong to him and he would soon land where he never envisaged.

Pro 20:17 (KJV)  
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel.

The cheating husband will soon know that that there is a lot of shit in the cheat!

Adultery is the game of the foolish because of the obvious consequences involved.

Pro 6:32 (KJV)  
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.

The Message Translation says
Pro 6:32-33 (MSG)  Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive;  [33]  Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good.

It is simply not worth it

If you are a young lady involved with a married man, please, stop it. Such will always end in tears. Don’t slow yourself down. If you don’t know how to go about it, please call me and let me pray for you.

3. The Mummy’s boy
The Mummy’s boy does nothing unless he tells his mum first. This can be very annoying to the wife.

There is nothing wrong with having a strong tie with your mum, but it is wrong when your mum comes between you and your wife.

It is absolutely wrong to discuss personal issues with your mum that your wife knows nothing about.

Mummy’s boy needs to change. Your mum is another man’s wife, and you are to focus on your own wife.

This can be a little bit challenging if the man is the only boy raised by his mum, the tie will be strong and the dependence will be massive. But lovingly, patiently and without any rash actions, there should be a gradual disconnection, not to abandon your mum, but in terms of prioritizing relationships.

Your wife comes first. And that is the Bible truth. Above is a list of The Husband You Should Not Be

I will stop here this morning.

May your marriage be blessed!

I am strong in the Lord 

Lord, take every indecison away from my life 

Pro 6:32 (GW)  Whoever commits adultery with a woman has no sense. Whoever does this destroys himself.

Apologise to your spouse if need be  

Rev 20

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The Woman You Should Not Be 

The Woman You Should Not Be 

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The Woman You Should Not Be. Mrs. Johnson is a high-energy, productive, choleric wife. Her husband always feel disrespected most of the time. Where is the balance between such a couple?

Wives should be sensitive and not usurp the authority in the house. 

Here are the type of wives that need to exercise some caution in this area. 

The Woman You Should Not Be
1. The Choleric wife

Cholerics are known to be energetic, sharp-mouthed, unemotional with words and actions, and can survive on their own.

They usually don’t need any encouragement to forge ahead.

They can be very independent and this can often lead to friction in the house. 

The couple should learn to maximize their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. Usually, a choleric wife will be married to an opposite temperament, someone who is reserved, laid back, and probably an introvert.

The choleric wife should go out of her way to ensure she honours her husband at all times.

2. The Proud Career wife 

A woman at the top echelon of her career can often become prideful if care is not taken.

The husband should be secure enough to let his wife go for the best and ultimate in her career.

There are husbands who can be so threatened by the progress of their wives. This is a wrong heart. Let her be, and let her go for the best. Give her wings to fly!

Much work lies with the wife in refusing to get proud of her achievements. The keyword is honour. 

3. The stubborn wife 

Some wives can be stubborn o! From counselling experiences, I have seen wives that would stand by their opinion even when you show them the scriptures. There are stubborn men as well o!

Stubborn wives don’t talk much, they just won’t budge. They will just be looking at you like Lucozade, but what they will do is what they will do. 

This is not good as well. It is not beneficial for the prayer life of the couple. Anything that will engender strife should be flushed out of the home. 

4. The manipulative wife

The manipulative wife has several weapons in her arsenal including crying, throwing tantrums, withdrawing, talking endlessly, refusing sex, and nagging, until she gets what she wants.

She always wants the man at her beck and call.

This may go on for a while especially if the husband is on the calm side, but one day, the hidden molten magma may give way to eruption. And this is not usually the best. 

Every husband must strive never to get to the point of exploding.

5. The insistent wife
Another type of the woman you should not be is the insistent wife who is hard, difficult, and doesn’t listen to anything apart from what she knows or wants.

Her major weapon is anger.

She always wants to be told what she wants to hear and she picks up quarrels with anybody that dares go against what she feels.

Her husband lives in perpetual fear of what could happen next.

This is a wrong attitude that could be detrimental to the marriage.

The problem is that what she knows is limited and what she wants can often be a wrong desire.

We are all a work in progress and nobody knows it all. Meekness or being teachable is a great virtue in marriage.

Husband and wife should strive to live considerably with one another.

Put yourselves in one another’s shoes.

The following verses are probably the best advice for the couple


1Pe 3:1-2 (AMPC) IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, [2] When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].

1Pe 3:7 (AMPC) 

In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise you cannot pray effectively. ]

Have a blessed and fantastic day!

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