Whether you are single or married, life can sometimes feel solo. The reality, however, is that God never designed us to do life alone. When he made Adam, he said it is not good for man to be alone, because he knew the power in partnership. He knew the strength available when you are joined with the right person.
That is why Solomon said;
Ecclesiastes 4:9 (KJV) “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.”
When a man and a woman are going in the same direction, they tend to move faster. However, who you are going with matters a lot. The fact that someone is available does not mean they are compatible, which is why a lot of care should be given in considering who you journey with.
According to the scripture above, it is not just about having a reward, but a good reward, which is where fulfilment comes from.
The bible says if you are joined with Christ, you are one with him. Likewise, you become one with whoever you are joined with physically. So, before you agree to walk down the aisle, are you ready to be one with him or her? Do you see you both fulfilling purpose together? Is this person helping me walk towards God’s plan for my life? If you don’t see it now, you are not likely to see it in marriage.
And if you are already married, are you both moving in the same direction? Are you building together? Is what you are doing likely to give you a good reward? If your answers are in the affirmative, ask yourself: How can I be a better partner to my spouse?
May God help you to be joined with the right person.
Matthew 5:28 (KJV) says, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:28, part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, challenges us to examine the condition of our hearts and minds. It goes beyond outward actions and addresses the inner motivations that shape our behavior.
Here are five key lessons we can draw from Matthew 5:28:
1. Sin Begins in the Heart
Jesus emphasizes that sin isn’t just about physical actions—it starts in the heart. Lustful thoughts are as sinful as committing adultery because they reflect the same internal rebellion against God’s design for purity. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Our thoughts and intentions matter deeply to God.
Be vigilant about what you allow into your mind through media, entertainment, or unchecked thoughts. Guarding your heart is essential for spiritual and relational health.
2. God’s Standard Is Holiness, Not Just Outward Compliance
The Pharisees focused on external obedience to the law, but Jesus calls us to a higher standard—holiness of heart and mind. Adultery isn’t just a physical act; it begins with impure desires. 1 Samuel 16:7 declares, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” God cares about the purity of our inner lives.
Pursue holiness not just in actions but in attitudes. Regularly ask God to search your heart and reveal areas that need cleansing (Psalm 139:23-24 ).
3. Accountability for Thoughts and Intentions
This verse makes it clear that we are accountable not only for what we do but also for what we think. Allowing lustful thoughts to take root is equivalent to crossing a boundary God has set. 2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs us to “take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Our thoughts have power, and unchecked ones can lead to destructive behaviors.
When inappropriate thoughts arise, immediately redirect your focus to things that are pure, noble, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8 ).
4. The Importance of Self-Control
Lust thrives when self-control is absent. Jesus calls us to exercise discipline over our eyes and minds. Job 31:1 provides an example of intentional self-control: “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” Choosing where to direct our gaze reflects our commitment to honor God and others.
Set boundaries around what you watch, read, and consume. Cultivate habits that strengthen self-control, such as prayer, fasting, and accountability with trusted friends.
5. A Call to Radical Measures Against Temptation
In the verses following Matthew 5:28, Jesus urges drastic action if something causes us to stumble: “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out… If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off” (Matthew 5:29-30). While this is hyperbolic language, the point is clear: take radical steps to avoid temptation. Sin has serious consequences, and avoiding it requires decisive action.
Identify triggers or environments that lead to lustful thoughts and remove them from your life. This might mean limiting screen time, installing accountability software, or seeking godly counsel to address deeper struggles.
Words are powerful. They can either build a home or tear it down, heal wounds or deepen them. In relationships, especially marriage, the way we speak — and the timing of our words — matters immensely.
In the heat of an argument, it’s tempting to blurt out whatever comes to mind. But wisdom calls us to pause. Sometimes, the right word spoken at the wrong time can still wound. Timing, just like content, is crucial. A gentle word after emotions have settled can bring healing that a harshly spoken truth could never achieve in the heat of the moment.
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Proverbs 25:11 (NKJV)
Marriage is a daily journey of two imperfect people learning to love like Christ, patient, kind, slow to anger. Wise words show respect and understanding. Timely words show self-control and care.
When we listen more and speak thoughtfully, we reflect God’s heart. And in doing so, we create a safe place for love to thrive.
Reflection Questions:
– When was the last time my words brought peace into my marriage?
– How can I practice pausing and praying before speaking during tense moments?
– Am I more concerned with being “right” or being “loving” in my conversations?
Prayer:
Father, help me to guard my tongue and speak words that bring life, not harm. Teach me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. May my words always be seasoned with grace and timed with wisdom. Let my speech build my relationship and honor you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Action Step:
Today, before speaking into any sensitive or emotional situation, pause for a moment. Ask God for wisdom and timing. Notice how much difference that small pause can make.
The bible makes us understand that life is filled with seasons, and each season demands a different response. There’s a time to tear and a time to mend. This is a simple statement but yet it carries deep meaning, especially when one is navigating through times of change, heartbreaks, loss, or a transition phase.
“A time to tear and a time to mend.” — Ecclesiastes 3:7 (NIV)
The tearing season can be uncomfortable, but it is often necessary. In Scripture, tearing one’s clothes was a symbolic gesture of grief, repentance, or mourning. It was a way of saying, “This part of me is no longer whole. Something is wrong, and I can no longer ignore it.”
In our lives, there are seasons when we need to tear away parts of ourselves that are no longer beneficial. Sometimes, we need to let go of things like old wounds, unhealthy habits, relationships, or even dreams that no longer align with God’s will. Tearing isn’t about destruction; it’s more like a release. It’s acknowledging that something has to go so that something new can grow.
The process of tearing is not easy. It takes courage. It can be painful, and it might even feel like you’re losing something valuable. Yet, God uses these times of tearing to prepare us for healing and growth. The key is knowing that this act is part of His greater plan—removing what doesn’t serve His purpose in our lives.
But you see, tearing is not the end of the process. The verse also reminds us that there is a time to mend. This part is where God’s grace truly shines. Once something has been torn—whether it’s a part of our heart, mind, or life—God doesn’t leave us in that broken state; rather, He begins the process of mending.
The act of mending is restorative. It’s the slow and steady work of God stitching us back together, restoring the broken pieces. It might take time, and the healing process might not happen overnight, but God’s mending is always thorough and intentional. His restoration goes deep, healing not just the surface but the roots of our wounds.
This mending process often requires us to be patient. God doesn’t rush healing, and neither should we. Sometimes, we want to hurry up and move on, but God uses the time of mending to teach us dependence on Him, refine our character, and prepare us for the next season. It’s also in this mending that we learn the depth of God’s love and faithfulness. He doesn’t just heal our wounds; He makes us whole again, often in ways we didn’t expect.
When we are in a season of tearing, it can be easy to feel hopeless. But remember, tearing is a temporary part of God’s greater plan. In Romans 8:28, we are assured that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” And when God is ready to restore, He will mend. He will repair the things that are broken, whether it’s our hearts, relationships, or dreams.
So all you have to do is trust the process by obeying Him, leaning on His word, and believing. In time, He will make all things new.
I thought love was constant communication: texting every hour, long late-night calls, never giving a breathing space.
But then I learned—love is not obsession. It breathes. It gives space. It respects boundaries.
Communication is vital in love, but love doesn’t choke each other.
I thought love was fireworks. You know, butterflies. That head-over-heels, can’t-eat, can’t-sleep feeling. Uhhhhh, my God! That kind that elicits “God, when o?” “Am I a spoon?” from friends.
But then I realised—feelings can fade. Real love shows up when the butterflies are gone; commitment is the only thing standing.
Yes, love elicits butterflies, but if love is not founded on commitment, it’s never gonna last. Never!
I thought love was someone finally choosing me, so I’d feel valuable. Ehm, don’t blame me. The blame is on low self-esteem. I was immersed in it from the experiences I had in childhood. Well… I sought love to feel valuable.
But then I understood—love doesn’t prove your worth. It recognises it. You don’t need love to feel valuable. You need value to love well.
I thought love meant never arguing, always agreeing, always smiling.
But I discovered—love isn’t the absence of conflict, it’s the presence of grace. It’s knowing how to “disagree to agree,” how to apologise sincerely, and how to grow together. It’s learning that I am on the same team as the one I love.
I thought I knew what love was.
Now I’m unlearning and relearning with God as my teacher.
I’m chasing wholeness. Wisdom. Purpose.
Because I want a love that looks like Christ—selfless, kind, consistent, and strong.
One of the greatest gifts a believer can develop is the ability to see beyond the surface. This spiritual perception is often called discernment. It’s the inner knowing that helps you sense what the natural eyes cannot see and understand what words cannot fully explain.
Hebrews 5:14 says, “But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who because of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” Discernment grows through spiritual maturity and intentional use. It is not automatic, but cultivated.
In a world where deception can be dressed in beauty and evil can wear the face of good, discernment helps you recognize truth, align with God’s will, and make sound decisions.
The Holy Spirit nudges you when something isn’t right, guides you when a path is unclear, and gives you peace when a decision is divine.
Jesus functioned with spiritual perception. Luke 5:22 says, “But when Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answering said unto them…” He wasn’t guessing; He was spiritually aware.
Discernment helps in relationships, decisions, and spiritual warfare. It shields you from wrong connections and helps you embrace God-ordained opportunities.
Ask God today for a heart that perceives. Pray like Solomon in 1 Kings 3:9, “Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart…”
Also, we don’t just need eyes that see, we need hearts that perceive. What you discern today can protect your destiny tomorrow.
Stay close to the Word, sensitive to the Spirit, for the sharpening of your perception.
I want to take a moment to speak to the women this morning.
A woman often senses who her husband is before the man even realizes it himself. It’s part of how God made them. Women are naturally intuitive. There’s a knowing deep within, long before anything is said or done. But even with that inner knowing, it’s not her place to take the lead or make the first move.
On Kisses and Huggs Club, we do not advocate a woman asking a man out, no matter how convinced you are. You can position yourself, present yourself, but not ask out.
This is because God is a God of order, and that order has purpose. When we step outside of it, confusion tends to follow. The man is designed to pursue; the woman is meant to respond.
Genesis 2:23 (ISV): So the man exclaimed, ‘At last! This is bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. This one will be called “Woman,” because she was taken from Man.’
The first wisdom here is that it was the man who exclaimed. The man who spoke up. Not the woman. Notice that God didn’t even say anything at that moment. He left it all to the man to recognize what was before him and to respond accordingly.
The second wisdom here is that as soon as Adam saw Eve, he spoke. A man who’s serious about you won’t leave you guessing. He’ll be clear from the beginning. So if you’ve been spending time with a man for a while, and he still hasn’t made his intentions known, it’s worth paying attention to that.
He’s been around, but not stepping forward? That silence speaks volumes.
The third wisdom here is this: Adam recognized Eve as his. He said, “bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.” That kind of recognition and certainty matters. The person you’re meant to spend your life with should know, without hesitation, that you’re the one.
Yes, as a woman, you need to have peace and conviction about him. But he must be just as convinced about you. If he’s not sure, how can he truly leave his father and mother and fully commit?
The truth cannot be overemphasized. Saying the truth at all times, regardless of the consequences, is a virtue that sets the foundation for lasting relationships. That is why I smile when I see people’s checklists for a marriage partner. You’ll often find: “God-fearing,” “financially stable,” “tall,” “beautiful,” “speaks in tongues,” and so on. But rarely do you find “truthful” or “trustworthy.” And yet, without truth, everything else is at risk.
Integrity is the bedrock of peace in both singleness and marriage. It’s not just about how things are today; it’s about building a life for 30, 50 years, and beyond. Truth keeps the foundation strong. Lies may seem small today, but they ripple out into the future with painful consequences.
To date, some people still don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead. Why? Because a few soldiers were paid to tell a lie
Matthew 28:12-15 [MEV] When the chief priests were assembled with the elders and had taken counsel, they gave much money to the soldiers, saying, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came by night and stole Him away while we weresleeping.’ If this comes to the governor’s ears, we will satisfy him and keep you secure.” So they took the money and did as they were instructed. And this saying has been commonly reported among the Jews to this day.
Their decision not to speak the truth has had eternal consequences for countless lives. Whenever we choose deception, no matter how “harmless” it seems, we are potentially robbing others of their peace, their trust, and even their destiny.
Whether you’re single or married, let truth be your banner. If you’re waiting for a spouse, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes not just to beauty or charisma, but to integrity. If there’s a red flag to take seriously, it’s the inability to be truthful.
If you’re already married, let truth guide your home. Don’t allow fear or pride to choke honesty. A marriage where truth is absent is one step closer to decay, no matter how spiritually vibrant it may appear on the surface.
May Godhelp us to love the truth, speak the truth, and walk in integrity.
What’s in Resurrection Power for Relationships and Marriage?
Resurrection power isn’t just a theological concept—it’s a transformative force that can breathe new life into struggling relationships and marriages. The same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead is available to us today, offering hope, healing, and restoration where brokenness seems insurmountable. But what does resurrection power look like in the context of marriage? How can it mend wounds, revive intimacy, and strengthen your bond as a couple?
1. Overcoming Hopelessness with New Life
When a relationship feels dead or stuck, whether due to betrayal, unresolved conflict, or emotional distance—resurrection power reminds us that nothing is beyond God’s ability to restore, Ephesians 1:19-20 declares, “His incomparably great power for us who believe… which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead.” Just as God brought life back to Jesus’ body, He can bring vitality and renewal to even the most strained marriages.
How it helps: Resurrection power gives you the courage to face seemingly impossible challenges, trusting that God specializes in making all things new (Revelation 21:5 ).
2. Breaking Strongholds That Bind Relationships
Every marriage faces strongholds—patterns of sin, bitterness, unforgiveness, or pride—that hold couples captive. These chains can feel unbreakable on our own. However, resurrection power shatters these bonds, freeing both partners to walk in freedom and forgiveness. 2 Corinthians 10:4 assures us, “The weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to demolish strongholds.”
How it helps: Through prayer, repentance, and surrender, resurrection power enables spouses to forgive one another fully and release toxic patterns that hinder their union.
3. Restoring Intimacy and Connection
Intimacy—both emotional and physical—is often the first casualty in troubled marriages. Resurrection power rebuilds what has been lost by renewing hearts and minds. Romans 6:4 says, “We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order to be raised to a new life.” This “new life” includes rediscovering joy, passion, and closeness with your spouse.
How it helps: As each partner allows God to transform their heart, walls of resentment crumble, paving the way for deeper vulnerability and connection.
4. Empowering Sacrificial Love
Resurrection power equips husbands and wives to love sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church. John 15:13 teaches, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” In marriage, this means putting your spouse’s needs above your own and serving them selflessly—even when it’s hard.
How it helps: When both partners embrace this kind of love, fueled by resurrection power, they create an atmosphere of mutual respect and devotion that strengthens the marriage covenant.
5. Healing Past Wounds and Hurts
Many marriages struggle under the weight of past hurts—infidelity, abandonment, or deep-rooted insecurities. Resurrection power brings healing to those wounds, replacing pain with peace. Isaiah 61:1-3 , a prophetic passage about Jesus’ ministry, speaks of binding up the brokenhearted and comforting those who mourn. This promise extends to marriages scarred by hurt.
How it helps: By inviting God into the process, couples experience supernatural healing that human effort alone cannot achieve.
6. Renewing Commitment to Each Other
Marriage vows are promises made before God, but over time, those commitments can waver. Resurrection power renews the marital covenant, reminding couples of their purpose together. Malachi 2:15 emphasizes God’s desire for covenantal faithfulness, saying, “He did not make them to be two, but one.”
How it helps: Couples who lean into resurrection power find renewed strength to honor their vows and persevere through trials.
7. Providing Hope for the Future
Sometimes, the greatest barrier in marriage is despair—the belief that things will never get better. Resurrection power offers eternal hope. Philippians 3:10 says, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection.” When couples anchor themselves in this truth, they gain confidence that their marriage can not only survive but thrive.
How it helps: Hope inspires action. With resurrection power at work, couples take practical steps toward reconciliation while trusting God’s ultimate plan.
Sometimes, when someone does something we don’t like or aren’t used to, we start labeling it a “red flag.” For instance, we’re like, They’re too quiet, too deep, too serious, too ‘into God.” Or they’re not texting fast enough. They don’t talk the way we expect. They have boundaries we’re not used to. And boom, immediately we tag it a red flag.
But here’s the truth: not everything that feels uncomfortable is a red flag. Sometimes it’s just unfamiliar. Sometimes it’s challenging your unhealed parts. Sometimes it’s healthy, but unhealed wounds, maybe from past relationships, just make it feel “off.”
On the other side, we can also miss the real red flags because they come in a nice package. Good vibes. Easy conversations. Physical attraction. Maybe even church attendance. But beneath all that, there’s inconsistency, lack of growth, poor character, and zero spiritual leadership. We ignore it simply because they “get us,” or because we’re already emotionally invested.
And this is how people end up in relationships/marriages where they thought they picked a green flag, only to realize it was painted red the whole time.
Here are real red flags that should not be ignored:
1. They say they love God, but their life says otherwise. If someone consistently minimizes faith, mocks spiritual things, or lives in unrepentant sin, that’s not just a “difference”—that’s direction. Love is hard to grow when you’re walking in opposite directions.
2. They charm in public, but control in private. Emotional manipulation often wears a smile. If they make you feel small, confused, guilty, or constantly responsible for their emotions, you’re not building love, you’re managing dysfunction.
3. There’s no accountability, no mentorship, no godly voice they submit to. If no one can speak into their life, correct them, or call them out, you eventually won’t be able to either. Humility is essential in a God-honoring relationship.
4. They’re always hiding something. Secrets, double lives, half-truths, or silence when transparency is needed—this will slowly erode trust. Trust is hard to build, and easy to break.
So before you write someone off, ask: Is this truly a red flag or just something unfamiliar or different from what I imagined? And before you commit, ask: Is this genuinely right, or does it just feel good right now?
Sometimes, what feels “off” at first is just new and worth giving space to grow. And sometimes what feels “right” in the moment is just familiar but not necessarily healthy.
Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
It’s not just about guarding your heart out of fear. It’s about inviting God to shape your lens so you see and not overlook something good… or settle for something that simply looks good.
Several things should be considered before signing the dotted lines with anybody. I have outlined four of them, which I hope you’ll find useful.
1. Hear God.
Yes, that has to be the first thing. Make sure you hear God audibly. Make sure God is the one leading you into that marriage.
Do you know why?
Matt 7:25-27 [ESV] And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
Both houses faced the same test. Whether you heard God or you heard yourself, there would be challenges. If you are sure God led you to the relationship or marriage, you can navigate those challenges together.
And if you are married already, go back to where God spoke to you about him or her. Replay those encounters in your mind. It will shoot some adrenaline into you and give the desired energy to forge ahead.
2. Get your company involved
Everyone has a company, a group of people that share similar beliefs. Don’t do a relationship in isolation. Get them involved. Carry them along. Any relationship that aims to isolate you from your company (if it’s a good company)is a red flag.
Sometimes, we get tired of running alone. Sometimes, we need someone or some people to cheer us on. That is what your company is for.
Acts 4:23 [NKJV] And being let go, they went to their own companions and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them.
If you are in the wrong company, receive the strength to exit.
3. Create boundaries
Oh yes, this has to be on the list. You need to create boundaries. A relationship with no set boundaries will settle for anything, including things that don’t reflect godly purity.
You both need to sit and talk. How far can we go? Who can we allow access to our lives? When do we call it a day, by 2 am?
Even as a couple, you need to set boundaries. Who can stay over at your place? How much influence will parents have?
Don’t just assume these issues will sort themselves out. Talk about it and take a stand.
4. Have a defined goal
If you don’t define your relationship, you will abuse it. Why I’m I in a relationship with this person? What do we want to achieve in this marriage?
The cinemas and outings are good, but be sure to ask definite questions along the way.
Ask for short and long-term goals. With that, you will know if you fit or not.
Even if you heard God, the relationship still has to be defined. How long is this relationship going to last? Don’t assume it will lead to marriage; ask.
It’s not the grand gestures that keep love alive. It’s the little things.
A “How was your day?” asked with real interest.
A hand squeezed during a stressful moment.
A text that says, “I’m thinking about you.”
A back rub when no one asks for it. For couples only!
A sincere “thank you” after dinner. Couples too.
Little things.
But they matter in the equation of love.
While we are waiting for big moments to express our love, the little foxes are eating away the love, night after night.
Because love doesn’t fall apart overnight. It crumbles in the absence of the small, daily signs that say, “You still matter to me.”
And love doesn’t flourish from once-in-a-year surprises—it grows with consistent, quiet care.
Sometimes we wait for the perfect time to express love:
“I’ll take her out next month.”
“I’ll say something nice when things are less tense.”
“I’ll start being intentional when I feel more appreciated.”
But the best time is now.
More so, the grand surprises soon lose their bite/flavour in the absence of the daily small acts of love—acts that say, “I see you,” “I care about you.”
So, intentionally start working on the little, ordinary expressions of love. That may be the fix you need now.
Love is fed by the ordinary. The unplanned. The unseen.
And if you keep showing up in the small ways, the big moments will take care of themselves.
So, don’t wait for love to feel big. Make it small and meaningful—again and again.
That’s how hearts stay close. That’s how relationships last.
God’s will for man has always been rooted in purpose, growth, and dominion. In the very beginning, He declared His intent in Genesis 1:28: “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion…” This wasn’t just a suggestion. It was a divine mandate to increase, grow, and take charge.
God is not interested in giving us physical increase at the expense of our souls. His desire is that our growth begins from the inside out. “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth” (3 John 1:2). Before we ask for blessings, breakthroughs, or expansion, God wants our souls to mature in Him.
Many times, delays in certain areas of our lives are not because we aren’t praying or working hard. It’s not that God is deaf to our cries. Sometimes, it’s simply because our inner man is not yet ready to steward the increase we are asking for. God, in His mercy, withholds what could destroy us.
Apostle Paul captures this in 1 Corinthians 3:6-7: “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.” Increase is a process. Planting must take place. Watering must follow. Then, God releases growth. When there is a lack of spiritual preparation, increase can become a burden rather than a blessing.
Galatians 4:1 says: “As long as the heir is a child, he differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all.” God doesn’t release dominion to spiritual infants. He waits for sons and daughters who are ready to grow in wisdom, faith, and intimacy with Him.
So, what seed are you planting today? What steps are you taking to grow spiritually? Are you preparing your soul for the increase God desires to bring?
I charge you to seek God’s will first, because when the soul prospers, increase follows.
If conversations devolve into yelling matches, silent treatments, or complete avoidance, communication has likely collapsed. Healthy dialogue is the lifeblood of any marriage. James 1:19 advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” A therapist can teach effective communication skills to bridge the gap between spouses.
6. Abuse Is Present
Any form of abuse—physical, emotional, verbal, or financial—is unacceptable and requires immediate attention. Safety must always come first. If abuse is occurring, seek therapy professionally and consider protective measures. Matthew 7:12 teaches, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” No one deserves to live in fear, and therapy can help victims find healing while holding abusers accountable.
7. Life Transitions Are Overwhelming the Relationship
Major life changes—such as job loss, health crises, the birth of a child, or grief—can strain even the strongest marriages. When these transitions spiral into conflict or resentment, therapy offers support and strategies to navigate the challenges together. Philippians 4:6 encourages, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.”
8. One Partner Refuses to Engage
If one spouse has emotionally checked out or refuses to work on the marriage, therapy becomes essential. Even if only one partner initially participates, counseling can provide clarity, healing, and insight into the next steps. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 emphasizes teamwork: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.”
Why Early Intervention Matters
Waiting too long to address marital problems can lead to irreparable damage. The earlier you seek therapy, the greater the chances of restoring your relationship. A licensed counselor or Christian therapist can offer biblical wisdom, practical tools, and compassionate guidance tailored to your unique situation. Learn more about how to seek therapy, counseling and courses Here
Marriage is a beautiful covenant, but it’s not immune to challenges. While every relationship experiences ups and downs, some issues require professional guidance to prevent further damage. Knowing when to seek therapy can be the difference between healing and heartbreak. Here are key signs that indicate your marriage may urgently need therapy—and why taking action sooner rather than later is vital.
1. Constant Conflict Without Resolution
If arguments have become a daily norm and resolution feels impossible, it’s time to seek therapy. Persistent conflict without healthy communication erodes trust and intimacy. Proverbs 17:14 warns, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” A therapist can provide tools to navigate disagreements constructively and restore peace.
2. Emotional or Physical Disconnection
When emotional distance grows—or worse, physical intimacy disappears—it’s a red flag. This disconnection often stems from unresolved issues or unmet needs. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken,” symbolizing the strength of unity. Therapy can help couples reconnect emotionally and spiritually, rebuilding the bond they once shared.
3. Trust Has Been Broken
Infidelity, dishonesty, or breaches of trust can devastate a marriage. Whether it’s an affair, financial deception, or repeated broken promises, these wounds run deep. Psalm 51:10 prays, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” A trained therapist can guide both partners through forgiveness, accountability, and restoration—a process that’s difficult to navigate alone.
4. One or Both Partners Are Considering Separation or Divorce
When thoughts of separation or divorce enter the conversation, it’s a critical moment for intervention. Therapy provides a safe space to explore underlying issues and determine if reconciliation is possible. Malachi 2:16 declares, “God hates divorce,” underscoring the sacredness of marriage. Seeking therapy at this stage shows a willingness to fight for the relationship.
Solomon had everything: wisdom, wealth, power, and influence. He had experienced life to the fullest, yet he came to a conclusion that none of it could truly satisfy. Despite having everything most people dream of, he realized they were all ultimately “meaningless,” like chasing the wind.
Ecclesiastes 1:14 (NIV): “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”
It’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of what we think will bring us fulfillment. It could be a relationship, a promotion, a certain way of life—believing that once we get it, we will feel complete. But even when we do reach those goals, we’re often left asking, “Is this it?” That’s what Solomon is pointing out.
Ecclesiastes 2:11 says, “When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”
These things can never fully satisfy us because they aren’t meant to. They’re fleeting, temporary, and ultimately hollow when placed at the center of our hearts.
This doesn’t mean that relationships, careers, or achievements are bad. They can be wonderful gifts when we view them through the lens of God’s will. But when we place our identity and sense of worth in them, they become idols.
This is why having a relationship with God is so important. It’s not about going through the motions or only turning to Him in times of need—it’s about having a daily encounter with Him that will shape every aspect of our lives.
Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” When we make God the center of our lives, everything else falls into place. We stop looking to temporary things to fulfill us and begin to find our peace, worth, and joy in Him alone.
Jesus made it clear in John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing.” Just as a branch cannot survive without being connected to the vine, we can’t truly live without being rooted in God. Our sense of purpose and fulfillment flows directly from our relationship with Him. Without that connection, we are like a branch that just withers and dies.
Conclusion: The truth is, no matter how hard we chase after things—relationships, success, or approval—if they’re not rooted in God, they will leave us feeling empty. True satisfaction comes not from what we achieve or accumulate but from knowing God deeply and making Him the center of our lives. So let’s stop chasing what will never satisfy and start pursuing the One who gives our lives true meaning, purpose, and peace.
Preparing for marriage as a single person is a wise thing to do. Lack of adequate preparation can cause the marriage to fail. Most singles however don’t know what or how to prepare for marriage. These 5 simple tips provides you with what to concentrate on. The list is not exhausted but you can start with this.
1. Develop a Deep Relationship with God
Before building a life with someone else, build a strong foundation with God. A thriving spiritual life sets the tone for a godly marriage.
Cultivate regular prayer, worship, and time in the Word. Learn to hear God’s voice for yourself—you’ll need it when making decisions with a spouse.
2. Work on Emotional Healing and Wholeness
Unresolved wounds can spill into your future marriage. Take time to confront past trauma, brokenness, or bitterness so you don’t carry them into your new home.
See a counselor, talk to a mentor, or start journaling through emotional triggers. Wholeness is the best gift you can offer your future spouse.
3. Learn Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills
Marriage thrives on communication—not just talking but listening, understanding, and working through disagreements with love.
Practice these skills now with friends, family, or coworkers. Notice how you react under pressure and work on being honest, kind, and calm in tough moments.
4. Be Financially and Personally Responsible
Marriage involves shared goals and responsibilities. Learning to manage your finances, time, and home life now helps reduce future stress.
Create a budget, build a savings habit, and learn basic life skills—like cooking, cleaning, or scheduling. Self-discipline now = peace later.
5. Surround Yourself with Healthy Relationships and Mentorship
The people you spend time with shape your expectations and character. Community and mentorship help you prepare with wisdom and accountability.
Seek out married couples you admire. Ask questions. Learn from their mistakes and wins. Build friendships that challenge you to grow in godly maturity.
Married couples, too, can find these 5 tips beneficial to them.
Being a great wife is not about perfection—it’s about embodying qualities that reflect love, respect, and selflessness. A godly wife seeks to honor God in her marriage while nurturing and supporting her husband. Here are five qualities that make a great wife, inspired by biblical principles and practical wisdom.
1. She Loves with Patience and Kindness
A great wife demonstrates love that is patient and kind, even during challenging times. 1 Corinthians 13:4 reminds us, “Love is patient, love is kind.” Her ability to extend grace and understanding creates a peaceful and loving home environment. A wife who loves this way builds a strong emotional foundation for the marriage.
2. She Respects and Encourages Her Husband
Respect is a cornerstone of a thriving marriage. A great wife honors her husband, affirming his strengths and encouraging him in his role. Ephesians 5:33 says, “The wife must respect her husband.” By speaking words of affirmation and showing admiration, she inspires confidence and unity in the relationship.
3. She Communicates with Grace and Wisdom
Healthy communication is essential for any marriage. A great wife listens attentively, speaks gently, and resolves conflicts with humility. Proverbs 12:18 teaches, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Her thoughtful words foster trust, intimacy, and mutual understanding.
4. She Is Faithful and Committed
Faithfulness is a hallmark of a great wife. Whether it’s standing by her husband through trials or honoring the covenant of marriage, her commitment remains steadfast. Proverbs 31:10-12 describes a virtuous wife as one “whose husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” A faithful wife reflects God’s unwavering love and devotion.
5. She Supports and Builds Up Her Family
A great wife plays a vital role in nurturing her family. She manages her household with care, supports her husband’s goals, and raises children (if applicable) with love and discipline. Titus 2:4-5 encourages women to “love their husbands and children, be self-controlled, pure, and kind.” By prioritizing her family, she creates a harmonious and godly home.
Hey, you. Yes, you—the one who’s tired of love talks.
Tired of hearing “wait on God.”
Tired of trying to make your marriage work.
Tired of hoping someone will choose you and stay.
Tired of feeling like love is for everyone else… except you.
Can I be honest with you? Love can be exhausting—when it’s done in your strength, when you’re doing all the bending, adjusting, forgiving, praying, and hoping… while the other person barely notices. When you feel like you’ve been faithful, but love hasn’t been kind in return.
But here’s what you need to know:
God sees you. He hasn’t forgotten. He isn’t late. And no, you’re not too broken, too difficult, or too anything to be loved right.
You were never created to chase love. You were created to carry it. To be full of it. To walk in it—with or without a ring, a title, or romantic gestures. Your value doesn’t increase because someone texts you “good morning” or posts your photo. You are loved now. Completely. Unconditionally. Eternally.
So, take a breath. Stop striving. Let God love you into wholeness before anyone else tries to hold your heart. Or before the one holding your heart (your spouse) learns to hold it well.
And when love comes, it won’t make you beg, drain, or confuse you. It will honour what God has already healed.
You’re not hard to love. You’re just waiting to be loved right.
In the world of Christian service, it’s easy to celebrate spiritual gifts like preaching, singing, prophesying, healing, and teaching. These gifts are beautiful, powerful, and God-given. But there’s something even more important in God’s eyes: the fruits of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…” These are not glamorous abilities we show off on platforms. They are quiet proofs of maturity. They reflect who we are, not just what we can do.
You can be a firebrand preacher and still be proud. You can sing like angels and still lack patience. You can prophesy accurately and still treat people with contempt. Sadly, we sometimes place more value on being “gifted” than being Christlike.
God desires our character before charisma. The gifts draw men, but it is the fruit that keeps them. You may attract a spouse, an audience, or an opportunity with your talent, but only fruit will sustain relationships, influence, and favor.
The Bible warns in Matthew 7:16, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” Not their gifting, not their title, but their fruit. This means our love, humility, gentleness, and faithfulness are what truly matter to God.
In your walk with God, aim to bear fruit before chasing platforms. Let people say, “She is kind,” “He’s gentle,” not just “Wow, they’re anointed!” Because when gifts fade or slow down, character will still stand tall.
So, let’s seek to be fruitful first, and then let the gifts flow. Meanwhile, a life rooted in the Spirit will naturally grow into both.
