There is a level God desires His children to reach, which is a depth of understanding of the things of the Spirit. Growth is not optional; it is essential for where God is taking us.
Meanwhile, no one truly knows the strength within until they step out in faith. In Matthew 25:14-30, we read the parable of the master who entrusted his servants with different talents before going on a journey. He gave five, two, and one talent respectively, and according to their capacity.
The first two servants invested and multiplied what was given to them, while the third buried his talent out of fear. When the master returned, he was pleased with those who had expanded their capacity and entrusted them with even more. But the servant who did nothing lost the one that he had.
God gives according to our ability, but He expects growth. Spiritual capacity is not just for today; it is required for where God is leading us.
As believers, we are called to grow beyond spiritual infancy. 1 Peter 2:2 told us to desire the sincere milk of the Word so we may grow. However, we cannot stay on milk forever.
Hebrews 5:14 states that strong meat belongs to those who are mature, those who, through practice, have trained their senses to discern between good and evil.
The more capacity we build, the more responsibilities God can entrust to us. And the more responsibilities we carry, the greater the supply of power we receive (Luke 12:48).
Building spiritual capacity requires intentionality. It’s means stretching beyond our comfort zones and making room for more of God in our lives. Therefore, we must engage consistently with God’s Word, prayer, fasting, and obedience to divine instructions.
I urge us to increase our spiritual capacity today, positioning ourselves for greater assignments, deeper revelations, and a life of impact in God’s kingdom.
It’s easy to get caught up in seeking validation. Whether it’s through relationships, social media, career success, or the approval of family and friends, we often feel like we need someone else to confirm our worth. I am here to tell you that you are enough!
When you start seeking validation from people, you unknowingly give them control over your self-worth. Their compliments make you feel high, but their silence makes you question yourself. It’s like chasing the wind. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never catch it. And let’s be real: people are fickle. One day they’re cheering for you, and the next, they forget you exist. If Jesus the Son of God was praised by the crowd one week and crucified the next, what makes us think people’s opinions about us will stay consistent? This is why your worth must come from God alone.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” — Galatians 1:10 (NIV)
As a single, this pressure can feel even stronger. Society tells you that love from another person is what makes you complete. You hear comments like, “When will you settle down?” or “Don’t you want someone to share life with?” And before you know it, you start questioning if you’re missing out or if something is wrong with you.
But here’s the truth: You don’t need anyone else’s approval to be enough, you already have God’s. Your value was never meant to be placed in people’s hands.
Jesus Himself was single, yet He lived the fullest, most purpose-driven life possible. He never chased human validation. Instead, He was secure in the love of the Father. And because of Christ, you are already fully known, fully loved, and fully accepted.
The world tells you that your worth is based on how many people admire you, but God says:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)
“The Lord delights in you.” (Isaiah 62:4)
If God, the Creator of the universe, delights in you, why waste time seeking approval from people who constantly change their opinions?
Your singleness is not a sign of lack, rather it’s a season of purpose. Instead of searching for validation, rest in the truth that God has already called you His. Live in that confidence. Walk in that security and know that you are already enough, just as you are.
You are not waiting to be loved, you are already loved beyond measure. Live in that truth today.
This morning, I want to write to those experiencing one form of delay or the other, especially in marriage.
I’m sure you know the feeling. When it seems as though all your friends are married and doing fine but you are still single, or you are married and are trusting God for the fruit of the womb.
You’ve sent out numerous applications, yet you keep receiving rejection emails.
You’ve prayed, fasted, and done everything you think you should do, but the status quo remains the same. All you are asking for is just one miracle.
Let me announce to you that you are not alone. The children of Israel faced a similar situation years ago.
Ex 32:1 And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
When Moses delayed, the Israelites sought another option. It was as though God had been silent all along until they made the golden calf. It was immediately after the five foolish virgins left that the bridegroom appeared.
What is my message this morning? Hold on just a bit more. Your Miracle is closer than you think.
Don’t be a second fiddle out of frustration. God’s plan for you is that you be the head, above always and never beneath.
Trust God completely and you will smile at last, amen.
Five Qualities a Husband Cannot Resist from His Wife
Marriage is one of God’s most beautiful designs, meant to reflect the love and unity between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:25-33). While every relationship has its unique dynamics, there are certain qualities a husband cannot resist from his wife that can strengthen their bond and glorify God. These qualities aren’t about striving for perfection but about cultivating godly character that honors both your spouse and the Lord.
1. Respectful Communication: One of the top qualities a husband cannot resist from his wife is respectful communication. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Speaking with kindness, patience, and respect—even during disagreements—creates an atmosphere of trust and understanding. Men feel deeply valued when they are respected, and the Scripture encourages wives to honor their husbands as leaders (1 Peter 3:7).
2. Gentle Spirit: Another quality a husband cannot resist in his wife is a gentle spirit. The Bible says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). A calm and peaceful demeanor fosters harmony in the home, even amid challenges. 1 Peter 3:4 highlights this inner beauty, describing it as “of great worth in God’s sight.”
3. Faithfulness to God: A wife who prioritizes her relationship with Christ inspires her husband in ways nothing else can. Faithfulness to God is a quality a husband cannot resist from his wife because it strengthens the spiritual foundation of their marriage. Joshua 24:15 calls families to serve the Lord wholeheartedly, and a godly wife leads by example.
4. Supportive Partnership: Husbands long for partners who believe in them and support their God-given vision. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 illustrates the power of two working together: “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” This supportive partnership is another irresistible quality a husband finds in his wife.
5. Joyful Presence: Finally, a joyful presence is a quality a husband cannot resist from his wife. Proverbs 31:25 describes a virtuous woman whose “joy is her strength.” Her laughter and positivity make her husband feel loved and cherished.
These qualities aren’t about perfection but about pursuing Christlike character. As wives grow in these areas, they not only bless their husbands but also glorify God.
I pray for you: your marriage will reflect the unbreakable bond between Christ and His Bride—the Church.
Beauty and the Beast is a timeless fairy tale that explores themes of love, transformation, and inner beauty. The story follows a young woman named Beauty, who sacrifices her freedom to live in a mysterious castle to save her father from the wrath of a fearsome Beast. Although his appearance is terrifying, Beauty discovers the kindness and sorrow hidden beneath the Beast’s exterior. Through their growing bond, she learns to see beyond his outward form and recognizes the goodness within him. Her love ultimately breaks the curse, transforming the Beast back into a handsome prince.
This heartwarming tale reminds us that true beauty lies not in outward appearances but in the heart.
This story holds profound meaning when applied to our individual lives. Within each of us resides both a “beauty” and a “beast.” The “beauty” represents our spirit—the godly, virtuous nature that reflects the image and likeness of God. It is this divine essence that empowers us to act with love, kindness, forgiveness, and selflessness.
On the other hand, the “beast” symbolizes our flesh—the part of us prone to selfishness, anger, envy, jealousy, unforgiveness, and indulgence. These vices seek to dominate and control us if left unchecked.
The key to personal transformation lies in nurturing the “beauty” within us while weakening the influence of the “beast.” As we strengthen our spiritual nature through prayer, faith, and walking in alignment with God’s Word, we become better versions of ourselves.
Galatians 5:25 (KJV) “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”
By yielding to the Spirit, we resist the desires of the flesh and cultivate virtues such as love, joy, peace, patience, and kindness.
Ultimately, there is a “beauty” inside all of us waiting to shine. The more we nurture it, the weaker the “beast” becomes.
Let us embrace the transformative power of love and choose to walk in the Spirit, unlocking the full potential of who God created us to be.
Loneliness is a powerful feeling. Like desperation, it can make people settle for less—for relationships they know aren’t right. They do this just to fill the empty space in their hearts. However, if you make a decision based on loneliness, it will often lead to premium tears—your temporary fix causing you long-term pain.
Sometimes we mix it up, but get it straight now. God didn’t propose marriage to Adam because he was lonely. No! There’s a world of difference between being alone and being lonely.
“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’” Genesis 2:18 [NKJV]
A man can be alone, but not lonely. Another man can be married to a woman, yet lonely. “Being alone” means being singular—be it physically, in an assignment or project, etc. while “being lonely” is a void in the heart—a feeling of emptiness in the soul that is often caused by a lack of active participation in purpose.
Adam was too busy with what God had committed into his hands to do that he didn’t even have time to be lonely. He was alone but not lonely. God had to come to initiate marriage when he saw that Adam needed a helper.
For singles, the temptation to say “Maybe this is the best I can get” often springs from loneliness. Seeing others in relationships makes matters worse, making you feel like time is running out. That’s desperation. But don’t let the feeling of loneliness and desperation push you into something unhealthy. It’s better to wait alone than to walk into a relationship that steals your peace, your values, or your destiny. The wrong relationship will drain you much more than loneliness ever could.
For married couples, well, you can be married and still be lonely. Loneliness can still creep in—especially when communication is broken down or when life gets overwhelming. However, the solution isn’t to withdraw, seek emotional validation elsewhere, or compare your spouse to others. The solution is to fight for your marriage to thrive again—work towards reconnecting. Talk. Pray together. Block out every channel (the opposite gender) that gives you emotional satisfaction. Remember why you chose each other. And fight to reconnect.
A good marriage is not built on constant excitement; it’s built on commitment through every season. Commit to working on your marriage. Commit to fighting for the spark to return again. Sometimes, or most times, it starts with just one of the spouses. If it’s you, then don’t get discouraged. Keep your eyes on the goal, regardless of what you see on the way. Don’t allow loneliness to last. Don’t allow it to lead you into an emotional affair and, ultimately, a full-blown affair.
Ultimately, may we all always recognize that God is always present with us, so we can draw strength from Him.
“Do not fear, for I am with you.” Isaiah 41:10.
God is always present, even in seasons when you feel lonely. So, instead of making hasty decisions out of desperation as singles, trust that His timing is perfect. While waiting, keep active with your purpose. The right love—one that honors God—will come. And if you’re married, the love you already have can be strengthened.
Many people enter relationships with high hopes, only to watch them crumble. But why does this happen? Is love not enough? The truth is, love alone does not sustain a relationship. Wisdom, commitment, and divine guidance do.
First, you need to understand that marriage is not the union of two perfect people. Rather, it is the coming together of two imperfect individuals, choosing to walk in love daily and grace as God leads them. No one is 100% perfect, and that’s okay.
However, when relationships fail, there are often clear reasons why.
1. Absence of the Instructor (God)
Marriage was designed by God, and He alone knows how it should function. In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.” Yet, many couples walk into marriage without the One who created it. When challenges arise, they find themselves lost, with no divine wisdom to navigate through. A relationship without God is like a ship without a compass that drifts or crashes eventually.
2. A Mismatch in Faith
When you marry someone who does not share your faith, you are building on different foundations. A spouse who does not understand your beliefs or values may struggle to align with your vision.
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).
This spiritual disconnect creates frustration, leading to discord and, ultimately, failure.
3. Unrealistic Expectations
Expectations are natural, but when they are too high or completely unrealistic, they set the stage for disappointment. Many people enter relationships with fairy-tale dreams, only to face the reality that their partner is human. Instead of focusing on what they lack, appreciate the little things they do. A heart of gratitude strengthens love.
4. Lack of Purpose
God did not institute marriage just for companionship or procreation. It’s also a divine partnership with a purpose (Genesis 1:28). When a couple lacks a shared vision, marriage can become monotonous, leading to frustration and dissatisfaction. Purpose fuels passion. When both partners understand their God-given assignment, it brings joy and fulfillment to their union.
5. Selfishness
Marriage is not about me, it’s about us. When selfishness takes over, decisions are made without considering the other person’s feelings or well-being.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3).
A healthy relationship thrives on mutual sacrifice, compromise, and a willingness to prioritize the needs of one’s partner.
Every relationship has challenges, but with God as the foundation, shared faith, realistic expectations, purpose, and selflessness, it can stand the test of time.
Are you building your relationship on the right foundation? If not, it’s never too late to start.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” (Psalm 127:1)
Let God be the center, and watch your love flourish.
Letting go of past hurts is easier said than done. You may have prayed about it, tried to move on, or even told yourself that you’re over it. But then, something happens, a familiar situation, a certain name, a random memory, and suddenly, the pain feels just as fresh as it did back then.
Maybe you were betrayed by someone you trusted. Maybe you were abandoned, abused, rejected, or taken for granted. Maybe you gave your all to a relationship that ended in heartbreak. Whatever the case, those wounds don’t just disappear. They shape how you see yourself, how you interact with others, and even how you approach love.
And if you don’t deal with them properly, they will follow you into your future, especially into your marriage. Your spouse will feel the weight of baggage they didn’t pack, and your marriage will suffer from wounds someone else inflicted. The walls you put up to protect yourself will also shut out the person who is meant to love you. Your fears will cause unnecessary arguments. Your past will compete with your future. And that’s not the kind of marriage God wants for you.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” — Isaiah 43:18-19
The scripture above reminds us that God is doing a new thing. But notice that He first tells us to FORGET the former things, that is, to stop dwelling on the past. That’s because we can’t fully embrace what He has ahead if we are still clinging to what’s behind.
So, how do we truly let go?
1. Be honest about the hurt. Acknowledge it Pretending you’re fine won’t bring healing. Ignoring the pain won’t make it go away. Healing starts with honesty, acknowledging the hurt, and allowing God to meet you in that place. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” What pain have you been avoiding? God is ready to walk through it with you.
2. Stop making others pay for what someone else did It’s natural to be cautious after being hurt. But when past wounds cause you to push away good people, assume the worst, or expect failure, that’s a sign of unhealed pain. Your future spouse is not your ex. Your friends are not the people who abandoned you. Don’t punish the right people for what the wrong people did. Colossians 3:13 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
3. Stop defining yourself by what happened to you Pain has a way of reshaping our identity. You may start to believe you’re unworthy of love, destined to be alone, or incapable of a healthy relationship. But those are lies that the devil wants you to believe. 2 Corinthians 5:17 declares, “If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” God doesn’t just heal, He makes new. Who does God say you are? It’s time to start believing it.
4. Allow yourself to heal Healing is not instant. Some days will be better than others. Some moments will still sting. But every step toward healing matters. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Allow yourself to feel, but don’t dwell in the hurt. Forgive, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve freedom. You don’t have to have it all together overnight, but you do have to commit to the process. So allow yourself to truly heal and stop suppressing the pain
5. Walk into your future without fear Your past does not have the power to ruin your future unless you let it. Philippians 3:13-14 encourages us, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” God has something greater ahead of you. But will you trust Him enough to step into it?
Carrying emotional baggage into marriage will not only make your life harder but also make your spouse’s life harder. Don’t let your past sabotage the love God has planned for you. Let Him heal you now so you can walk into the future whole, free, and ready to love the way He intended.
In Ephesians 5:22-33, the Apostle Paul provides profound guidance on marriage that reflects Christ’s relationship with the Church. For husbands, the call is clear: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
This command challenges men to lead not through authority or control but through sacrificial love—a love so deep it mirrors Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice on the cross. Loving your wife means putting her needs above your own, serving her with humility, and nurturing an environment where she can flourish spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
For wives, Paul writes, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). Submission here does not imply inferiority or blind obedience; rather, it reflects trust in God’s design for order within the home.
Just as the Church submits to Christ’s leadership, a wife’s submission involves respecting and supporting her husband’s role while trusting God to guide their shared journey.
It’s important to note this mutual submission is rooted in love—both partners are called to honor one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).
These roles might seem challenging, even counter-cultural, yet they point us back to the Gospel. Husbands are reminded that true leadership looks like laying down your life—not demanding respect but earning it by loving selflessly.
Wives are encouraged to embrace submission not out of fear but from faith, trusting God’s wisdom in His design for unity and harmony.
Ultimately, these instructions aren’t about power dynamics but about reflecting God’s love story.
When husbands love sacrificially and wives submit respectfully, they create a picture of Christ’s covenantal love for His bride, the Church. As Colossians 3:14 reminds us, “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Let us pray for marriages to reflect this divine model—that homes may be places of grace, joy, and testimony to God’s unchanging love.
Whether you’re a husband striving to love well or a wife seeking to submit faithfully, remember that God equips you to fulfill His purpose when you walk in obedience to Him.
I have come to realize that choosing a spouse is not as spookyas some people make it to feel. If you can just follow God all through, the journey will be less complicated.
Also, I have realized that more often than not, your spouse is very much around you. Godis not just about to create your spouse. You just need to be discerning to know where he or she is.
Ex 32:1(KJV) And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
After Moses had gone for a long while, the children of Israel became impatient and demanded a god. Where would they get the raw materials to fabricate a god? Remember, they were in the wilderness.
See what Aaron said.
Ex 32:2-4 (KJV) And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me. 3 And all the people brake off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron. 4 And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.
Aaron made the golden calf with the earrings he found around him.
Who would have thought something good could come out of those earrings?
I mean, they wear these earrings every day. They see it every day. They use it every day. It was looking too common in their eyes, so they couldn’t see the golden calf in it.
And that is how this marriage thing is. You are probably seeing your spouse every day. You are probably interacting with your spouse every other day. The issue is that you may not know. It took Aaron, the priest, to see that something good could come out of the earrings. Likewise, it will take a priest to see if something worthwhile will come out of that lady or gentleman lurking around you.
However, as believers, we don’t need any Aaron. You are the Priest and Prophet over your life.
You are the one who will look beyond the physical and go for what you want.
You are the one who will cry to God to open your eyes that you may see what others are not seeing in that person.
Everyone saw a woman with five husbands, but Jesus saw an evangelist.
Everyone saw gold earrings, but Aaron saw a golden calf.
Everyone saw something whitish, but Moses saw food for the Israelites.
Dear people, let’s talk about something real: Song of Solomon 8:4 says, “Don’t wake up love before its time.” Basically? Love isn’t meant to be rushed, forced, or treated lightly. It’s sacred—and so are you.
Our world often tells us to “go for it” when it comes to relationships, but God’s Word offers a better way: chastity.
This isn’t about rules or shame. It’s about protecting your heart (and someone else’s) like a treasure. Think of it like this: if love is a beautiful flower, chastity is the fence that keeps it safe from being trampled.
Choosing purity isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. Every time you say “no” to pressure or impulsive decisions, you’re saying “yes” to God’s best plan. It’s like training your heart to trust Him, even when feelings get messy.
And guess what? God doesn’t leave you hanging. He gives you people to lean on, Scripture to guide you, and His Holy Spirit to remind you that you’re never alone.
Here’s the truth: your body and heart matter. They’re not meant for casual use but for a love that’s deep, committed, and timed by God. So set boundaries.
Pray for courage. Surround yourself with friends who lift you up. And when you mess up? Remember, grace is bigger than any mistake.
God, help me slow down and trust Your timing. Give me the strength to honor You with my choices, and remind me that true love is always worth waiting for. Amen.
Purity isn’t about being “perfect”—it’s about being purposeful. Protect your heart because God’s plans for you (and your future relationships) are always good.
This is one of the most important lessons anyone can learn in life, relationships, and marriage.
Deuteronomy 30:19 [KJV] I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:
Our text today tells us we can choose life. In order to live and enjoy life, we have to choose our lives. We must exercise our power of choice.
For many years, I was led by my feelings and emotions. I must admit I was a very slow learner. Thank God He never gave up on me. I allowed my feelings to direct my moods, feelings, thoughts, actions, and inactions.
This got me into a lot of trouble—troubles I could have avoided. If someone hurt me, my day was literally ruined. I wasted years on this roller coaster of emotions. It was as though I was stuck.
I was where the devil wanted me. A place where my emotions were in control. I didn’t know how to allow my spirit and the word of God to control my life. If I woke up feeling bad or down, my whole day was going to be bad. How many opportunities have we allowed to slip by as a result of not managing our emotions?
But thank God, our God is a restorer. He will restore the year that the caterpillar has eaten and destroyed. We can be in control and in charge of our emotions and say No to the voice of our feelings.
Let the Word of God dwell in you richly. Choose to live above your feelings. When you choose to obey God rather than your feelings, your feelings will catch up with your decisions and eventually line up. As you do this, you will begin to experience the quality of life God has for you.
As women, the fact that we are emotional beings doesn’t mean we should be controlled by our emotions. People can hurt you with their words and actions, but move past it. Forgive, forget, and love on. You get better off for doing this.
Am I saying you will not be hurt? On the contrary, move past it with the help of the Holy Spirit and be in control. Tell yourself you are in charge here.
Experience a richer life by not living by the dictates of your flesh and feelings.
We usually love “love” when it’s easy—when there’s laughter and romance, and everything feels right. And we can be tempted to think that’s all love is about. But what if I tell you that love can be inconvenient? What if I tell you love also demands patience, sacrifice, or even choosing to stay when walking away seems easier?
As singles, it’s easy to chase relationships that feel good in the now, even when you know the person is wrong for you. It’s easy to run at the slightest pressure. It’s easy to define love by “butterflies in the tummy.” But real love isn’t always convenient. It requires waiting on God’s timing, it requires walking away from the wrong person even when it hurts, and it requires choosing to love with wisdom instead of emotions. It requires staying strong even in valley moments. If someone only “loves” you when it’s easy—when you agree, when you look your best, or when you are crushing milestones—that’s not real love. Run, my dear, run for your life.
As married couples, you have to CHOOSE to love even through difficult seasons—when viewpoints differ, when tempers rise, when stress comes, when flaws are exposed. You must choose to love, forgive, communicate, and to fold your sleeves and get to work as you labour together for a better tomorrow. This is what real love is—real love can be tough. Tough love it is. The popular John 3:16 says:
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
God loved us, and He died for us! Tough love, I say—a love that gives, even when it’s costly.
Is your love just in the feel-good times? Or are you willing to love, even when it’s not convenient?
P.S.: Dear singles, this is not about you staying even when the red flags are glaring! Please don’t get it twisted. Shalom.
Marriage, they say, is the only institution where you receive a certificate even before you start. It is a lifelong journey, and the person you choose to walk with determines where and how you end up. Your spouse has a significant impact on your future, destiny, and purpose in life.
The question of whom to marry is a crucial one that requires sincere answers. Many people seem good, kind, and caring, but that does not necessarily mean they are God’s best for you as a life partner.
When I say “marry from your tribe,” I’m not referring to ethnicity, nationality, or cultural background. I’m talking about the tribe of Christ, which is the body of believers.
The Bible clearly states
[Amos 3:3] “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
A partner who does not share your faith and convictions will eventually create division, which will make walking in unity difficult.
Your tribe is not just someone who goes to church but a true believer in Christ. Someone who shares the same understanding of salvation, grace, and the Lordship of Jesus.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Being in the same church does not mean you share the same faith. Someone can be religious without being saved. True compatibility in Christ goes beyond attending services together. It means having the same foundation in faith.
If you believe in living a life of holiness, prayer, and service to God, marrying someone who doesn’t share those values will only bring conflict.
For example:
If you are convicted about modesty, don’t marry someone who believes otherwise, hoping they will change. Or if you belong to the no ornaments tribe, don’t marry someone who loves jewelry, expecting them to abandon it after marriage.
Yes, change is possible through God, but some changes require deep personal conviction. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” (Psalm 127:1)
Steps to Marry from God’s Tribe
1. Be a Part of the Tribe First
Before looking for a godly spouse, ensure that you are rooted in Christ. You cannot find the right person if you are not the right person.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
2. Pray for Divine Guidance
Marriage is not just about emotions; it’s a spiritual covenant. Seek God’s direction before making a choice.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
3. Observe Their Fruit, Not Just Their Words
Jesus said, By their fruits, you will know them. Matthew 7:16
A godly spouse should exhibit the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23.
4. Check for Doctrinal Agreement
Do you both believe in salvation by grace? Do you both understand the role of faith, prayer, and obedience to God? Differences in core beliefs can create future conflicts.
5. Seek Godly Counsel
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14
Involve spiritual mentors, pastors, or mature believers in your decision-making process.
Marriage is a journey that should bring joy, not sorrow. You can either enjoy marriage or manage marriage. Let your standard go beyond the physical. Choose wisely and within the tribe of God.
These tips are applicable not only in the context of relationships and marriage but also in business, careers, and everyday life.
1. Pray First, Not Last
Many people decide who they want and then ask God for God’s blessings. They get emotionally attached first, then pray later, hoping for a divine confirmation that matches their feelings.
When your heart is deeply invested, it’s hard to hear God clearly. Instead of seeking God’s will, you start convincing yourself that what you want is what He wants. At that point, it’s easy to mistake His permissive will (what He allows because of your insistence) for His perfect will (what He truly desires for you).
That’s why discernment begins before emotions get involved. Instead of saying, “God, I really like this person; please make it work,” the prayer should be, “Lord, is this your best for me? Show me what I can’t see.”
God is not silent; He will give you an answer, but God won’t force His will on you. If you truly want His best, seek Him first, not after your heart is already entangled. A relationship led by emotions alone may feel right at the moment, but only God’s perfect will brings lasting peace and purpose.
2. Don’t Ignore Red Flags
Love isn’t meant to blind you. If you notice things like dishonesty, emotional instability, lack of accountability, or controlling behavior, don’t overlook them. What seems small now will only grow bigger in marriage. God’s best will never require you to ignore important issues just to “make it work.”
“The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.” (Proverbs 22:3)
3. Listen to Wise Counsel
Sometimes, the people around us can see things we’re too emotionally invested to notice. If your trusted, godly friends, mentors, or family members have serious concerns about your relationship, don’t dismiss them. God often uses wise counsel to confirm His direction.
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)
4. Give It Time
If something is truly from God, time will reveal it. You don’t have to force, chase, or manipulate anything. Patience allows you to observe a person’s true character and consistency before making a lifelong commitment. If it’s right, time will only make it clearer.
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7)
One of the hardest things is waiting when you feel ready for love. But remember, God’s best is worth the wait. Instead of settling for what’s available, trust that He knows what you need and when you need it. A rushed decision may bring short-term happiness, but God’s best brings long-term fulfillment.
When it comes to choosing the right partner, I hear people say a lot. I want a God fearing man. He or she must be a Christian [I wonder if you want to consider an unbeliever before]. I want someone who can demonstrate the gifts of the spirit, and so on.
While you may be entitled to your choice, there is an important factor I would love you to consider in your prospective fiance or fiancee.
Marriage is a whole lot. It would be wise for you, if you can, to reduce the issues you would face in marriage.
When the bible says you should not be yoked with unbelievers, it is to your advantage. Apostle Paul says marriage comes with additional stress in an already stressful life. How do you want to add that to a partner who doesn’t share your spiritual values?
Back to my discourse, the very first thing I feel you should consider before saying yes is integrity. Does this person have integrity? Is he or she a person of his/her words? Do they mean yes when they say yes?
When the disciples were to choose the seven deacons, the first criteria was honesty.
Acts 6:3 [KJV] Wherefore, brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.
They chose integrity before they mentioned being full of the spirit.
Acts 6:3 [AMP] Therefore, brothers, choose from among you seven men with good reputations [men of godly character and moral integrity], full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task.
What does that tell you?
Don’t be swayed by the gifts of the spirit you see manifesting in that person’s life. Check for integrity. Check for honesty. You can’t afford to get married to someone who doesn’t value truthfulness.
Even God honors His words above His name. That is integrity!
Ps 138:2 [NKJV] I will worship toward Your holy temple, And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.
Marriage is one of life’s most significant commitments, and it requires careful preparation, self-awareness, and a strong foundation. Before jumping into this lifelong partnership, it’s essential to assess whether you’re truly ready emotionally, spiritually, and practically. Below is a quiz designed to help you reflect on your readiness for marriage. Answer honestly, and use the results as a guide for further growth.
1. Do You Have a Deep Relationship with God?
Marriage should be grounded in faith, especially for Christians. A strong relationship with God equips you to navigate challenges, make wise decisions, and prioritize love over selfish desires. If you feel distant from God or unsure about His role in your life, consider investing more time in prayer, Bible study, and spiritual growth before committing to marriage.
2. Can You Communicate Effectively?
Healthy communication is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. Are you able to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly? Can you listen actively without becoming defensive? Misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts can strain relationships, so mastering communication skills is crucial before tying the knot.
3. Are You Emotionally Mature?
Emotional maturity means understanding and managing your emotions while showing empathy toward others. Do you handle stress well? Can you take responsibility for your actions and apologize when necessary? Emotional immaturity can lead to unhealthy patterns in marriage, such as blaming, controlling behavior, or avoiding tough conversations.
4. Do You Know Yourself Well?
Self-awareness is vital for building a healthy marriage. Are you clear about your values, goals, strengths, and weaknesses? Do you understand what you bring to the table—and where you might need improvement? Knowing yourself helps ensure that you enter marriage as a whole person, not someone seeking completeness through another.
5. Are You Financially Responsible?
Money is one of the leading causes of conflict in marriages. Do you have a basic understanding of budgeting, saving, and financial planning? Are you free from excessive debt or reckless spending habits? While no one expects perfection, being financially responsible demonstrates maturity and readiness to manage household responsibilities together.
6. Have You Resolved Past Hurts?
Unresolved issues from past relationships or family dynamics can resurface in marriage if left unaddressed. Have you worked through any lingering pain, trauma, or bitterness? Healing these areas ensures that you don’t carry unnecessary baggage into your new life together.
7. Do You Share Core Values with Your Partner?
While differences can enrich a relationship, core values like faith, family, career, and lifestyle priorities must align for long-term harmony. Do you and your partner share similar beliefs about raising children, finances, and commitment to God? Compatibility in these areas lays a solid foundation for lasting love.
In conclusion, if you answered “yes” to most of these questions, congratulations—you’re likely ready for marriage! However, if some areas need improvement, take the time to grow and prepare. Remember, entering marriage prematurely can lead to unnecessary struggles. Trust God’s timing, and invest in yourself and your relationship. After all, a successful marriage isn’t just about finding the right person—it’s also about being the right person.
How do you know who is truly right for you? With so many voices from family, friends, culture, and even your own emotions, it can be hard to tell the difference between a good option and God’s best. The truth is, not every good person is God’s person for you.
Someone can check all the boxes on paper, but they still may not be the right fit for your purpose. That’s why discernment is so important. It’s not just about what you want, it’s about seeking God’s wisdom and letting Him guide your heart.
What a Relationship from God looks like:
1. It Aligns with God’s Word
God will never bring someone into your life who pulls you away from Him. If a relationship is leading you to compromise your faith, walk in disobedience, or put someone else before God, then it’s not His best. A godly relationship should strengthen your faith, not weaken it.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
2. It Brings Peace, Not Confusion
You may not have all the answers when something is from God, but you will have peace. This doesn’t mean the relationship will be perfect, but it won’t leave you in constant anxiety or emotional chaos.
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)
3. It’s Rooted in Purpose, Not Just Feelings
Being attracted to your partner is great, but that isn’t enough to sustain a godly relationship. God’s best for you is someone who aligns with your purpose and encourages your growth. A person can be kind, loving, and even a Christian, but if they don’t align with what God has called you to do, they may not be the one.
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3)
I believe the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ provides a level ground of play for everyone who has been redeemed. Jesus had already paid the ultimate price for us.
There are some things that should not be. They are aberrations. Both things we engage in and the things we permit in our lives, relationships, and marriages.
Let me zero in on today’s topic on the negative use of our tongues.
Our tongues are very powerful. We are created in God’s image, and we know that God is a speaking God.
We change the course of our lives and destiny by the proper use of our tongues
Our text this morning admonishes us to use our tongues positively.
If you are in a relationship and your fiance or fiancee has a bad mouth and tongue, that’s a red flag.
Don’t take this lightly, trivialize, overlook, or dismiss them, as they will change after we are married.
Putting a ring on someone’s finger does not change anybody. Put your feet down and let him/her be schooled about the proper use of the tongue.
James 3:9-10 [TPT ]We use our tongue to praise God our Father and then turn around and curse a person who was made in his very image! Out of the same mouth we pour out words of praise one minute and curses the next. My brothers and sisters, this should never be!
To the married, Jesus was speaking through James, that the negative use of the tongue ‘should not be’
It is not permissable. In other words, ‘don’t allow it’
As Christians, there are things we should not permit. We should say no to mean words, demeaning words, hurtful words, and abusive words spoken to us, our children, about our marriage, career, finances, health, etc
We have the authority to refuse it. When we rebuke that spirit, it has no choice but to flee from our marriage. We need to take responsibility; Jesus won’t take that responsibility on our behalf.
Remember, this should never be in your relationship and marriage.
Happy New Month! As we enter March, God has given us a powerful word for this season: Total Transformation. As Psalm 23 says, “He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:3). This verse isn’t just a comforting whisper but a clear declaration of God’s restorative power in every area of our lives. In this month, let’s allow Him to guide us to still waters and restore what feels broken or weary within us.
March often symbolizes change—new beginnings, fresh starts, and the awakening of life after winter’s dormancy. Just as nature begins to bloom, so too can our spirits flourish under God’s loving care. He invites each one of us to surrender fully to His plan, trusting that He will transform even the most challenging seasons into opportunities for growth and renewal.
Singles, this month offers an invitation to focus on personal restoration. Perhaps you’ve experienced heartbreak, disappointment, or loneliness. Let me remind you that your worth is not defined by your relationship status but by God’s unconditional love for you. When He restores your soul, He brings healing to wounds you didn’t know were still open.
Take time this month to reconnect with yourself and with God. Ask Him to renew your mind, strengthen your faith, and prepare your heart for all He has planned. Remember, restoration isn’t about waiting for someone else to complete you—it’s about allowing God to make you whole first.
Couples, if you’re in a relationship or married, this month provides a perfect opportunity to recommit yourselves to each other and to God. Relationships naturally go through highs and lows, and sometimes, they need intentional restoration.
Allow Psalm 23:3 to be your guide as you seek ways to nurture your bond. Spend quality time together, pray side by side, and communicate openly about areas where you feel disconnected. The Lord wants to restore joy, peace, and harmony to your partnership. Lean on Him during moments of tension or uncertainty, knowing that He is faithful to bring beauty out of ashes.
Whether you’re single or coupled, remember that His promise to restore your soul applies to everyone. Walk boldly into this month, trusting that God is doing something extraordinary in your life!
