God wanted you to have pleasure! Conception and reproduction could have taken place in a million ways. Some cellular division could have taken place and there would be kids staring at you. But God wanted pleasure!
God does not want intimacy without marriage commitment. God does not want you sleeping with everybody you set your eyes on. God in His divine wisdom knows what He is doing.
So why did God create Intimacy between a husband and wife?
1. Procreation
The first obvious reason why God created sexual intimacy is because of reproduction. The deposit of seed by the man, the fertilization process in women, the trimesters’ experiences, and the completion of the gestation period, are all processes that God designed to help us value human life.
If it had taken us less than two hours to get pregnant and then give birth, probably we would have been killing our kids once they offend or get stubborn or they didn’t come out cute since we could have another one in the next two hours!
The Depths of Sexual Connection in Marriage
2. Closeness
And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord. (Genesis 4:1 KJV)
This knowing is nothing more than sexual intimacy. When a couple who is married, a man and a woman, (not a man and a man, or a woman with another woman,) come together in sexual intimacy it is the highest possible way they can physically know themselves.
It brings a bond that cements the couple together. It is an expression of love for each other, stronger than a thousand words.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love (Proverbs 5:18-19 KJV).
God wants you to have pleasure! When you look at your wife and you are turned on in marriage, it is very holy! God didn’t make mistakes when He said let her breasts satisfy you at all times!
The problem begins when you start to derive satisfaction from the breast of another man’s wife or somebody you are not married to!
When the scripture says be thou ravished with her love, literal Hebrew says be thou intoxicated and enraptured with her love!
When all you are thinking the whole day, is about your wife and the sexual intimacy you will have with her later in the night, it is okay and holy! You need to understand that sex in itself is holy! It is when man decides to get selfish and disobedient that it becomes unholy.
There is one truth I want to drive in this morning! Whether single or married, this truth will be helpful for you!
The devil’s attempt is always to limit us by what we see. But the scripture is clear on what we are to do regarding that! See it below:
2Co 4:17-18 (KJV) For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; [18] While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
This One Too Shall Pass
First of all, it says our affliction is light! It is not heavy enough to kill us. God is not a taskmaster and He would not allow us to be tempted beyond our strength!
He allows tests and trials, not to kill us but to work for us eventually.
But then there is an instruction in the above verse. Do not look at those things that are disturbing you. Please don’t focus on them. There is no need for your BP to rise!
Don’t give mental consideration and acceptance to the issues you are facing. Why?
They are temporal! Glory to God. They are not eternal. They do not have a forever status! They are transient and they shall pass. That is why I like the phrase “And it came to pass”
This One Too Shall Pass
Whatever it is, my dear, that one shall pass too
Those issues that were like life and death issues some five or ten years ago, where are they now? They passed. This one too will pass!
Who then do you focus on? Focus on God and His Word. Judge Him faithful. Meditate on His goodness always and you will experience that goodness in your relationship or marriage. Good morning!
Being married is a call to selflessness. God is love and love is an action word. Love is practical. You cannot say you love your spouse while you are being selfish. Just as you love yourself, you must love your spouse too.
Couples should avoid these types of selfishness
Don’t Be Selfish To Yourself
1. Selfishness in taking care of yourself
Self-care and self-love are recommended for healthy living, good mental health, and good self-esteem. However, in marriage, we are to look out for each other. A selfish spouse is known in few ways. How do you treat your spouse when he or she is ill? Some expect their spouse to be all over them, taking care of them. There is nothing wrong with this. In fact, that’s how it should be. However, everything is wrong, when you don’t reciprocate the same to your spouse.
You treat them with levity. Husband, how do you treat your wife when she is pregnant? Do you tell her to get up and do the house chores and cook because you don’t know how to cook?
Do you buy stuff for yourself and forget your spouse or buy a cheaper version for your spouse?
There’s a funny video on Instagram where the wife serves her husband food but hides more chicken in her own food. Are you like that? Learn to treat your spouse well, if not better than yourself.
Always find ways and opportunities to celebrate your spouse. Celebrate your spouse’s physical beauty, mental capacity, cooking skills, organizational skills etc
Appreciate them for them to be able to do better. Whatever you appreciate will not depreciate. Whatever you disregard, depreciates.
Always look for ways in casual conversations with friends and colleagues to celebrate your spouse. Never miss an opportunity to do this. It could be very painful when you don’t celebrate your spouse but celebrate others. Do this and your spouse will learn from you to do the same.
My husband had to correct me on this. It is not hero worship, it is being minded of your spouse, being smart, and being their number one cheerleader. If you appreciate your spouse, you are appreciating yourself. Papa E.A Adeboye does that a lot. My husband too does this.
Some spouse are always blowing their own trumpet. Without attributing some accolade to their spouse, as if they don’t have any good qualities worthy of appreciation. Be very generous with appreciating your spouse. If you find it difficult to appreciate your spouse then you are not a grateful person. A grateful soul will always find things to appreciate about their spouse. This will also reflect on how grateful you are to God.
The deliverer’s greatest struggle is the deliverance within! Perhaps, that would be the greatest lesson from the life Mobhad, the young singer who just died. He was in the music industry, bringing fun, music, and excitement to others, while he was dying inside from harassment, bullying, and attacks from those he trusted. May God comfort his family.
Perhaps he tried to talk, but I doubted whether he actually spoke to those who could really help! It was a case of bringing fun to others while dying and eventually dying in the process.
A lot of Pastors are on this table. Preaching, teaching vibrating and yet dying slowly within, often with nobody to talk to! You see your greatest mistake would be not to seek help! A lot of young couples are sitting nicely on this table, watching their homes torn apart slowly and yet refusing to do the right thing!
Yes, it is possible. A person can be so proud that the pride rides him into the grave. The devil’s method is to keep you muted till you are lifeless. That will not be your portion!
Job was once frustrated He was bringing hope to many, being the greatest man in the East, and yet when he was at his lowest ebb, his friend disappointed him so much so that he said,
Job 16:2b (KJV) miserable comforters are ye all.
Have you ever been surrounded by the wrong comforters who bring more misery? Not all your friends can help you!
When The Deliverer Needs Deliverance
I was on this table sometimes back. I was dealing with a serious issue while bringing hope to many daily!
Well, I reached out to those above me, and thank God help came!
Would there even be a time, when you would not be dealing with something in your marriage? I doubt, as long as you are in days of your flesh! Jesus promised us victory, provided you reach out and seek help.
Most times it would cost you time, finances, and your ego!
When a person is not ready to sacrifice any of that, a crash is imminent!
You won’t know it all. Those you are admiring and comparing yourself with know where they seek help from, they are smarter.
A couple can keep quiet in their pride and watch their marriage and home degenerate! Going through the motions, helping others while you ate crying within. That is not God’s plan for you. Jesus already died for you, you don’t need to die for anybody!
Jesus Christ, with having direct access to God, still begged his friends and disciples to pray with him. Sadly they failed him.
When The Deliverer Needs Deliverance
In the moment when I needed help, a dear older woman of God got us some materials that totally arrested the situation! My wife and I diligently went through these materials over and over again, and then help came!
I have gone through the pain of putting this resource together online for your marriage, alongside the journal/workbook. You are your spouse will spend seven weeks to turn things around in your marriage, whatever the issue is.
Additionally, Pastor Sophia and I will have seven sessions with you and your spouse diligently crossing all the ’T’s and dotting all the ‘I’s in your marital endeavor, prayerfully trusting God to bring help to your situation, and even after the course, we will still be available to mentor you.
It is not free, No, it is not. If you wish to invest this in your marriage, then check it out HERE while the discount is still running. Husband or wife, run to your spouse and convince them to get on this programme asap because both of you have to do this together!
Cheers to a better, newer, fresher, and blessed marriage as you make the little investment! This investment will be “coins” compared to the lawyer’s fees and all the anguish and agony that comes to the whole family as a result of a separation or divorce.
Let’s look at a few more things you shouldn’t do to your spouse!
1. Don’t be selfish in Prayers
A couple can be selfish in the place of prayer when all prayer points are about them. They forget to pray for their spouse!
In this case, it is what is in the heart that is being played out. Your greatest prayers should be directed to your spouse in love. Pray for one another’s career business, desires, aspirations, and dreams. Be wise!
Invariably, you are praying for yourself when you pray for your spouse! God answers such prayers.
Don’t Do These To Your Spouse
Seven-Week-Marriage Rejuvenation
I am interested in the “The 7-Week Ultimate Marriage Course: Reconnect and Renew” with Pastors Dunamis & Sophia. I understand this will bring my spouse and I closer, restore and renew our love, and heal us where it’s hurting. Scan Code or Continue HERE
2. Don’t be selfish in family relationships
When there is selfishness in family relationships, either spouse would only get in touch, call, text, or chat, with parents and siblings.
Relationship with spouses’ family is zero! Hey, this is selfishness raised to power hundred!
You need to understand what the Bible says about marriage. You leave your parents and cleave to your spouse!
This does not mean you will not get in touch with them, but it does mean that your relationship must not be lopsided in favor of your own parents and siblings!
Prioritize your spouse and everything that concerns him and you will have less trouble.
Don’t Do These To Your Spouse
3. Don’t be selfish in cheerfulness
Here, you are cheerful with everybody, you make the whole world laugh, and you are the office comedian but at home, you are as cold as frozen fish! Not fair!
Your spouse cracks a joke and you look at them with disdain and disgust as if they just uttered some stupidity.
Another person cracks a less funny joke and you are reeling with laughter, with tears coming out of the corner of your eyes. It is called selfishness. If you are like that, you need a change of heart and some prayers too.
If your spouse cracks a joke, whether it is funny or not, just laugh! If you call their joke dry or senseless, then you are the spouse of a dry and senseless joker! Whatever you are doing to them is what you are doing to yourself. You are joined together.
If they crack a joke, just laugh, even if the joke is boring. Laugh. Be the number one fan of one another. This is how to keep the marriage going. There are many examples, but I would like to stop here.
In marriage and even in courtship, there are pressures. Pressures of raising a family, taking care of your spouse, taking care of the children, paying bills, and many more. All these are coupled with pressures from work and career. Singles in courtship are not left out.
If one is not careful, marriage will be one strenuous, stressful, and tiring adventure.
It is deliberately then that you have to decide to live life to the fullest. You just have to make up your mind that in the midst of all the pressures, there will be pleasures.
It is a decision to remain joyful irrespective of whatever situation you might be going through.
As singles, decide to maximize that time rather than turn it into a pressured time as a result of unnecessary quarrels.
Seven-Week-Marriage Rejuvenation
I am interested in the “The 7-Week Ultimate Marriage Course: Reconnect and Renew” with Pastors Dunamis & Sophia. I understand this will bring my spouse and I closer, restore and renew our love, and heal us where it’s hurting. Scan Code or Continue HERE
You simply make up your mind to defuse pressures with laughter, for laughter doeth well like medicine
Pro 17:22 (MSG) A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.
Having a depressing disposition, unhappy tendencies, habitual despondency, and uncontrollably bad moods are enough to leave the bones tired.
Since you have to cook anyway, why not decide to cook while enjoying yourself
Since you are going to wash the car, decide to wash it while having a nice time.
Since the kids would always be around and going nowhere, enjoy yourselves and let them enjoy themselves too.
Doing things grumbling, complaining, and being unhappy in marriage is self-punishment.
Decide to enjoy yourselves as a couple.
As singles, pray together and do not be intertwined with the bind of iniquity. Iniquity comes with its own pressures! Stay out of the bedroom!
Couples, Satisfy each other right into the bedroom!
A few ways you can have fun together include: 1. Have regular date nights where you can spend quality time together like a dinner or a movie night out
2. Cook together in a collaborative way
3. Board games and puzzles. It will afford some time for laughter and togetherness.
I pray for your marriage, God will help you indeed in Jesus’ name. At every point of pressure, God will bring succor, His healing balm, and restore you in Jesus’ name.
I started this topic a while ago and I will be concluding it today.
Let me quickly summarize the 6 points.
Communication issues
Financial strain
Emotional Compatibility
Intimacy and Sexuality
Conflict Resolution
Balancing individuality
7. In-law issues
Another challenge faced by married couples in their marriage is managing in-law issues. Some in-laws can be really troublesome, others over sensitive while others could just be selfish. Whichever category your in-laws fall into, they should be treated with a lot of wisdom and tact. Always remember to treat in-laws with understanding knowing you will be an in-law someday. The bottom line is, to protect your spouse, defend them, and don’t expose them.
I am interested in the “The 7-Week Ultimate Marriage Course: Reconnect and Renew” with Pastors Dunamis & Sophia. I understand this will bring my spouse and I closer, restore and renew our love, and heal us where it’s hurting. Scan Code or Continue HERE
8. Parenting
Not knowing how to raise children is definitely a challenge. Differing parenting styles and decisions. Both couples are to discuss and agree on the parenting model they should adopt in their family.
9. Life-Work Balance
Creating a balance between work, family and personal time between couples can be a threat to the marriage. Couples who work for several hours or live apart should discuss how best to adapt. There should be a good balance between all three or it will take a toll on the marriage and the children
10. Other Stressor
Every other factor that disturbs the peace and unity of the marriage comes under this category. Things like health, societal pressure, job changes, peer pressure, and ignorance are a few of the external stressors that can impact the marriage negatively.
In conclusion, a successful marriage requires open communication, compromise, and a commitment to working through these challenges together. Challenges are meant to be overcome.
Not forgetting to seek help through books, seminars, therapy, and mentors for difficult issues.
Two days ago, I wrote about selfishness in two areas, in commitments and in raising the children. I will continue this morning. If you missed it two days ago, you can check it here:
You go out with colleagues, go out with friends, go out with the whole world except your spouse! Hey, that is extremely wrong! You need to pray against such selfish attitudes and then take action to make adjustments.
Marriage is a place of sacrifice, so you really want to go out of your way to satisfy your spouse, not just consider your own preferences.
That is what makes marriage beautiful, when each spouse seeks to satisfy the other, oh how beautiful will it be?
When we are selfish towards one another, that is when we create loopholes for the devil and then he tries to come up with more vices like jealousy, envy, and the like.
Imagine a couple that is constantly jealous of one another! Obviously, that is not God’s plan!
Ask your spouse deliberately how you can satisfy them and make them happy and then go a step further and do that thing!
You will love one another more!
d. Selfishness in cooking
Is this possible? Yes, the husband insists all the time that his best food must be on the table for everybody. It is really unfair when his best food is beans!
Or the wife cooks only what she likes and does not take into consideration the preferences of others!
It is also selfishness when the wife refuses to cook or make provisions for meals by saying “I thought nobody was hungry!”
It is selfishness when the husband never helps out in the kitchen, especially when there are no house-helps. Nothing is wrong with the husband helping out to cook sometimes or helping out with the dishes.
Leaving her to sweat it out all by herself while you are watching football or listening to the news is another level of selfishness.
Be involved with one another and help one another. Be a team. Show that you love your spouse deeply and let that love be unconditional.
Remember, marriage is not fifty percent from each side, but a hundred percent from each side!
Say This Over Your Lover. Let’s quickly look at a few important prayers to pray over your loved ones.
1. Take away a heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh
Everything is about your heart. Your productivity will never rise above the capacity and quality of your heart.
Make sure your heart is right. Everything rises and falls on your heart.
David realized that his heart was the main issue after the dual iniquity of adultery and murder he found himself in.
Thus, he prayed,
Psa 51:10 (KJV) Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
As a husband and wife, when you find yourself doing something you never thought you could do for your spouse, but which situation forced out of you and revealed, you just saw the capacity of your heart.
Lord, take away the heart of stone!
Eze 36:26 (KJV) A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
The Message Translation nailed it!
Eze 36:26 (MSG) I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed.
2. Lord, bless my spouse, shield my spouse, and take my spouse to the next level in you
There is always a next level in God regardless of where you are in God.
Pray for one another and constantly too.
Ask God to bless and favor your spouse. It would be to the benefit of both of you eventually. Even when you feel your spouse is defective in one area, prayer would almost all of the time change the course of events.
Never ever give up on your spouse.
Keep praying and do not get weary. One day you will wake up and find out your prayers are answered.
I pray that God will bless your marriage abundantly.
There is a need to pray against selfishness in your family and also to take conscious steps towards being selfless. There are different sides of selfishness.
a. Selfishness in commitment
How committed are you to the marriage? Is apology always one-sided? Do you care about ending a disagreement or do you always wait for your spouse to say sorry even if it would take a year, you really do not care.
Are you really committed to the marriage or you are committed to your ego? Are you committed to making it work, or you are committed to making your spouse bow?
Who apologizes all the time? That is the most mature! Take it or leave it, that is the truth. Saying “sorry” is maturity,.
Refusing to say “sorry” whether you are wrong or right is a form of rebellion, and it is not wise to sow rebellion in your own home.
The spouse who is committed to the marriage has no problem offering a GENUINE apology. He or she is just not comfortable when you are apart.
Anytime you are comfortable when there is an issue, when you are okay with some underlying problems, without an effort to end an issue, you need to check your heart and pray more.
Refuse To Be A Selfish Lover
b. Selfishness in raising the children
There can be selfishness in raising the children. You have never been to your children’s school. You don’t even know which classes they are. You don’t know who bathes for them, or how they eat.
You are always buried in whatever you are doing. This is a definition of selfishness, however, you want to look at it. It is even more intense when both of you are building a career, and you are both busy.
Raising the children should be a joint effort so that you can have emotionally balanced children. Now, you don’t need to go and accuse your spouse over this, I am only pointing you to what we need to pray and take action about
Solomon was a king of a kind. He wasn’t your regular king.
If he were a Nigerian, he would have houses in all states of Nigeria, including plush places like Lekki, VI, and Abuja. He would have landed properties all over and this would be so easy because he would be the richest man not just in Nigeria but the richest man alive.
Ecc 2:4 (KJV) I made me great works; I builded me houses; I planted me vineyards:
He would have farms, and forests and would grow all kinds of exotic flowers and plants, having massive income in the tourism sector.
Ecc 2:5 (KJV) I made me gardens and orchards, and I planted trees in them of all kind of fruits:
He would have the largest irrigation system that even APC and PDP would envy.
Ecc 2:6 (KJV) I made me pools of water, to water therewith the wood that bringeth forth trees:
What if King Solomon hailed from Nigeria?
He would have the highest number of employees, Dangote would easily be one of his boys where wealth is concerned. He would have the largest livestock company in Africa.
Ecc 2:7 (KJV) I got me servants and maidens, and had servants born in my house; also I had great possessions of great and small cattle above all that were in Jerusalem before me:
He would largest amount in all the Banks, he would have diamond chains that David and Burnt Boy would envy. Sinach, Dunsi Oyekan, Simisola, and their like would be regular guest ministers in his palace. Tiwa Savage, Teni, and the like would be regular too. Beyonce and Rihanna would be flown in weekly to entertain him.
Ecc 2:8 (KJV) I gathered me also silver and gold, and the peculiar treasure of kings and of the provinces: I gat me men singers and women singers, and the delights of the sons of men, as musical instruments, and that of all sorts.
He would be an impulsive buyer, purchasing just anything he likes no matter how expensive. His daily expenses would easily run into hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Ecc 2:10 (KJV) And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour.
What if King Solomon hailed from Nigeria?
But upon all, he would conclude that it is all vanity!
Ecc 2:11 (KJV) Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun.
There was nothing to all of it. Just smoke, nothing but smoke!
The reality King Solomon is telling us. Is that without Jesus, all is vanity
Without Jesus, that wedding honeymoon in the Bahamas is vanity. That multi-million dollar wedding budget is all rubbish without Jesus.
All the money, acquisitions, properties, power, followers, and fans on social media are all vanity without Jesus.
The message is clear. Go after Jesus first. Don’t waste your time! Learn from the wisest and the richest man on earth at a time.
We all want to have our desires when it comes to our choice of spouse. Well, there is nothing wrong with that. It is ideally in order.
We know that man we want. Tall, dark, and handsome. Loaded with muscles and six packs and also loaded in the pocket, enough to afford a honeymoon in Dubai or the Bahamas.
Very cool. Nothing wrong with these desires.
We know that lady we want. Beautiful enough to turn heads. Curvy with Coca-Cola Bottle shape. Catwalk, nice shape, and all that.
You have all these desires.
What is Really Important In A Spouse?
After the wedding though, your priorities change quickly. Yes, you are proud of all the equalities, but you soon promptly discover, there are deeper qualities that are even more important!
Pro 31:30 (KJV) Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
All of a sudden, you begin to discover that favour or charm can deceive. The Message Translation puts it this way;
Pro 31:30 (MSG) Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-GOD.
You just simply find out that someone can be beautiful and stupid. Somebody can be handsome and wicked.
At the end of the day, you soon and out that charm can be misleading and deceitful, while beauty can be vain and can quickly fade.
What is Really Important In A Spouse?
What is the most important thing?
It’s a spouse who fears the Lord! Wow! How can I emphasize this?
A spouse who fears the Lord will take care of you, love you, and care for you, irrespective of mistakes, weaknesses, and whatever along the way!
No, I am not talking about coping with rubbish, I am talking about being accepted as who you are, and becoming better by the day because you are married to a spouse that fears the Lord.
Single, looking for a God-fearing spouse? Are you already married, and having issues? Seek counsel and don’t just keep quiet! Couples, go for rejuvenation before things get really messy. Don’t just watch things degenerate, for the sake of your mental health and children as well.
Myself and Pastor Sophia have a five-week renewal and rejuvenation journey for couples that can help your marriage massively!
You will watch some videos, we will have some one-on-one live video classes and reviews with both of you and you will go through a workbook for all topics treated! This will make you dig deep and ultimately bring new wine into your marriage and rapidly improve all areas including communication, intimacy, esteem, love, respect, what your spouse wants, needs and so on. If you are interested in this up close mentoring session for your marriage, chat me up on Whatsapp: +234 802 350 7395
The transactions of everyday endeavor can quickly bring weariness to the soul. The continual waiting for a miracle, blessing, or an answered prayer can unwittingly and subtly drive you into a place of mere religion where there is no more faith, but just going through the motions.
Now you must fight this from happening with every fiber in you because it is in the place of faith where you can constantly experience God.
In your relationship or marriage, what has God told you?
Whatever He told you will still come to pass, regardless of your present situation or circumstances.
Does it look laughable? Well, it is always like that. Too incredible to believe, and yet His words never fall to the ground.
When God Comes Knocking
The same thing happened to Sarah. She laughed at God! But that did not stop what God promised!
Gen 18:12-14 (MSG) Sarah laughed within herself, “An old woman like me? Get pregnant? With this old man of a husband?” [13] GOD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh saying, ‘Me? Have a baby? An old woman like me?’ [14] Is anything too hard for GOD? I’ll be back about this time next year and Sarah will have a baby.”
Well few chapters away, God fulfilled His word!
When God Comes Knocking
Gen 21:1-6 (MSG) GOD visited Sarah exactly as he said he would; GOD did to Sarah what he promised: [2] Sarah became pregnant and gave Abraham a son in his old age, and at the very time God had set. [3] Abraham named him Isaac. [4] When his son was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him just as God had commanded. [5] Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born. [6] Sarah said, God has blessed me with laughter and all who get the news will laugh with me!
I loved the phrase, God visited Sarah. God knocked on her door!
I pray for you today, this week, God will visit you indeed and give you a blessing that will make you laugh! God will knock on your door this week in Jesus’ name!
That is the prophetic word of the Lord to you this week. Expect a visitation! Expect God to knock on your door! Amen!
There are those times you get to and you feel you have made too many mistakes, of you have disobeyed God or you have not been proactive enough and time is gone? Do you feel time is gone concerning relationships or marriage?
God is asking you a question this morning.
1. Whose time? 2. Who is the timekeeper? 3. Who made the clock, if there was ever one?
You see, we often believe the words of the devil most times and these words are designed to weaken and weary us!
So the question is how do you get the strength to restart, refire, or revive?
Do you Feel Time Is Gone?
Heb 11:11 (KJV) Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.
Sarah was past childbearing age. Her time was gone!
Gen 18:11 (MSG) Abraham and Sarah were old by this time, very old. Sarah was far past the age for having babies.
She wasn’t just old, she was past that age! In the same way, you can say you are past some opportunities!
However, she received strength!
That is what you need to do this morning!
How did she receive strength? That scripture tells us she judged God faithful
It is the same thing you need to do! Receive strength this morning!
Do you Feel Time Is Gone?
Decide to judge God faithful over your life rather than be encumbered with regretful reminiscences.
Decide to judge God faithful that at least you are still alive and whatever you went through did not swallow you!
You are still alive and if you are, there are still possibilities!
God will still come through for you!
Stay joyful by judging God faithful over your life and you will see His power in your life and your situation!
Judge Him faithful today and tomorrow and the next and for the rest of your life!
You will receive strength. You will conceive. You will deliver that business or project or whatever it is!
Male-female differences, differences in temperaments, differences in upbringing, and differences in emotional needs and expressions can put a strain on the marriage.
It is not actually these differences that put a strain but not accepting these differences and managing them well puts pressure on the relationship.
Couples should learn to accept, love, and celebrate each other’s uniqueness.
Criticizing, devaluing, demeaning, and having a sense of superiority will only put undue strain on the marriage.
So couples, you want to enjoy yourselves in your marriage? Celebrate each other’s differences. Don’t compare. Never make jest of your spouse publicly. Your spouse’s difference is what makes them unique.
Tackling Marital Challenges Head-on 2
4. Intimacy and Sexuality
Differences and changes in emotional, mental, physical, and sexual intimacy and Compatibility can be very challenging in marriage. In marriage, both husband and wife must be able to fully express what intimacy means to them.
They must not be robbed of what intimacy means to them
Whatever makes the needs of the other party more important will put a strain on the marriage.
5. Conflict Resolution
Disagreements in marriage are inevitable. Couples however must learn to disagree to agree. Disputes can arise over various issues. The question is, do you have effective ways of conflict resolution?
Any conflict you cannot resolve with both parties reaching a compromise has not yet been fully resolved. It will put an undue strain on the marriage.
Couples should embrace whatever method will make them achieve conflict resolution in their own marriage.
Tackling Marital Challenges Head-on 2
6. Balancing our individuality
In marriage, it is two people that are becoming one. Yet their personality and individuality must be respected.
The man is the head of the marriage for functionality not for superiority purposes.
Anytime the husband sees his needs as superior to that of his wife there will be problems and vice versa.
Couples should find a means to balance each other’s needs and find a way to meet those needs
Are You Finding It Difficult To Forgive? Joyce Meyer said in her commentary of the Amplified Bible that she wondered and asked the Lord one day why is it that people come back in the line after they have been prayed for that they have difficulty forgiving.
They were miserable, back at the same spot they were. She found out that it mostly had to do with the difficulty in forgiving offenders,
If you are like that, In your life you wonder why you have so many issues with an unforgiving spirit.
You are right back where you were. Unable to forgive that man or woman.
Are You Finding It Difficult To Forgive?
It can even be your husband or wife. Or someone really close. Parents, siblings, or friends. Betrayal or feelings of being betrayed can be very hurting.
You genuinely want to forgive. You try hard to forgive but yet you find it difficult to forgive.
You pray to God for strength to forgive but yet it is difficult.
There are some forgiveness that are easy but there are some that are just very difficult.
And yet forgiveness is essential to your moving forward and your prosperity.
Forgiveness is so important that God will wait for you. It is an important lesson we all have to learn and pass.
The Lord said to Joyce Meyer, It is because they don’t fully obey the word. The Bible says you forgive those who persecute you and bless them.
The blessing is the other part they do not do. They feel blessing them is praying for them to be prosperous.
When the bible says to bless, it is talking about praying for them to be spiritually empowered with the ability to change their attitude.
Are You Finding It Difficult To Forgive?
It is praying for them to have a change of heart.
To see their wrong attitude.
Pray for their change of heart.
When you pray for them you have the release you need to forgive.
You forgive from your heart, and then you find healing and strength for yourself!
It is no doubt that everyone married knows that marriage come with some challenges. It is either you are facing a particular challenge now, you have just overcome a challenge or you will pass through a challenge in future. Everyone will have to face one form of marital challenge or the other.
It is not the challenges that are the issue, but how we handle or face them. Our perspective about them and how prepared we are with enough wisdom to face them is what really matters.
Challenges are champions’ meat. What break some, are what make others.
Apostle Paul affirm.and confirms that there are marital troubles
1 Corinthians 7:28 KJV But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
As believers, God expects us to soar above these challenges of life as much as we do our marriage.
Identifying these challenges can help us in facing them head long.
Here are some marital issues
1. Communication issues
This is definitely a major baggage in marriage that has to be handled very wisely. The presence of this issue, could be a blessing in disguise drawing couples closer if handled wisely. If not, poor communication can lead to misunderstanding, conflicts, emptional.distance, unfulfilled life, strife, constant quarrels, unhappiness, frustrations, delay and the list goes on.
Communication is the bedrock of any marriage, and I believe any couple who desires to make meaningful impact should concentrate and focus on getting this foundation right. Not doing this can mean they are building their marriage on sand.
Couples that have communication issues should settle down with the Holy Spirit and find lasting solution rather than accusing and blaming each other.
2. Financial strain
Finances is also very important in marriage. How much of it is available, how it is being managed and multiplied can be an issue.
When there is no financial fulfillment it could be a real challenge. The couples should talk about this and learn some basic principles of money. They should take steps towards financial freedom mentally, spiritually, physically and otherwise. They should be financially intelligent to avoid the strain caused by finances
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under the delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out. Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth wasting time on what would not work.
Love on the Brink: 7 Types Of Couples 3
7. Unforgiving Couples
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home, and life. Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker. If one of the couples is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier to resolve the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
The root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including children defiled.
The way out
So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate. Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective. I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, Be still in Jesus’ name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus’ name!
We started on this yesterday. We will continue today.
3. Differing Spiritual Beliefs
Here is another scenario that doesn’t always play out well, except with a lot of patience, prayers, and perseverance. I always advise singles not to think of getting married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God. It would always be filled with challenges that you might have to fight alone because you do not agree with your choice of weapons. You want to pray, but he or she thinks you are just being fanatical. That can be very disconcerting, to say the least. It is always a good combo when both agree and are going in the same direction in terms of belief systems and practices.
Love on the Brink: 7 Types Of Couples 2
4. Sentimental Couples
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home. Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments. They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
Love on the Brink: 7 Types Of Couples 2
5. Angry Couples
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody who has anger problems and who refuses to work at it. An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds. Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
