by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | May 24, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Yes, we’ve only been kissing, nothing more.
If as singles not yet married, you are not cool at all!
You are more like carrying fire in your bosom!
Okay pastor, show me in the scripture where kissing is wrong!
Well, you will never find anywhere in the scripture where the Bible says ‘thou shall not kiss! In fact, if the Bible says anything about it, it is the fact that we can kiss one another with a holy kiss! Why then do we make so much issue and big deal on what the scripture says we are advised or commanded to do?
So, let’s take a look at the scriptures.
Greet one another with an holy kiss. (2 Corinthians 13:12 KJV)
Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss. (1 Thessalonians 5:26 KJV)
Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. (Romans 16:16 KJV)
So why would Pastor say that I should refrain from kissing my fiancé or fiancée when the Bible permits us of such? Ok, let’s take a deeper look.
It is true that the Bible says, we should kiss one another with a holy kiss, but you need to understand the cultural context under which that is said!
The Jews normally kiss one another with a kiss.
If you remember, Jesus was even saying at a time nobody offered him a kiss. That is because a kiss at the side of the mouth is a form of greeting in Jewish culture.
Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. (Luke 7:45 KJV)
If you also see the scriptures above, they use the word “greet” and “salute” with a kiss. This Jewish cultural practice dates back to the Old Testament days.
And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. (Genesis 27:26 KJV)
Having established that this is a Jewish cultural practice, we can understand that this is not our culture in this side of the world. The western world is also a little bit disposed to greeting with a kiss without lust attached. But in a place like Nigeria, we don’t greet with a kiss!
In our culture, (even though this is fast disappearing) when a boy wants to greet his father, in some part of Nigerian culture, he prostrates. A girl kneels down! As the lady grows older, she is taught to genuflect when she wants to give something to an older person.
My point? There are holy kisses and there are unholy kisses! The Jewish kiss is holy because it is a form of greeting! The Nigerian kiss is unholy because it is not a form of greeting! Period!
If I walk into a meeting to preach with my wife beside me, and one of the ushers grabs my wife and plants a kiss saying “welcome ma,” I am going to remove my suit and fight real good!
Somebody will say, “but you are a pastor,” and I will say “Yes, and that is why I am fighting!” Why is that example funny? Because we don’t greet with kissing in this part of the world!
That is why we often do it behind doors!
If I am kissing my wife behind the church and you bump into us, you will have to apologize. If I bump into you kissing a girl you are not married to, you are still the one that will apologize!
The problem with kissing as we see it in this part of the world and why we say you should avoid it as much as possible, is that it will lead you into some other sexual sins! Before you know it, you are involved in Jericho trap!
Whatever you did the last time you met, will not satisfy you the next time you meet because intimacy will increase when two people are in love, which will keep calling for more physical expression. That is what the law of progression says. Sincerely, there is nothing wrong with a peck, but the question is will you stay on that alone? Your body will call for more!
I usually tell ladies, you cannot submit your lips to a guy for kissing like you are submitting a paper in the exam hall. If the guy is hungry, let him go to the market and buy Kpomo (a type of meat from cowhide). Must it be your mouth he turns into food?
As Married Couples, don’t stop kissing one another in marriage. Do it regularly and at all times!
Singles, wait for your time, okay? Don’t fan the embers, stay off every form of iniquity!
A lady came into my office years ago with her mouth doubled up like she’s been hit. I said, “what’s wrong with you, who hit you?” She hesitated and she knew she couldn’t lie. So she said, “it is one rough kisser!” Can you imagine?
That one is not a Jewish kiss, nor Nigerian kiss, that is a German kiss! Just kidding!
When you are married, if you like, you can decide to kiss from morning till evening. God will say, “Well done!” But not before marriage!
The power of life and death lies in your mouth, keep it well. Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect it!
Married Couples, don’t stop kissing one another in marriage. Do it regularly and at all times! Singles, wait for your time, okay? Don’t fan the embers, stay off every form of iniquity and God will help you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I discipline myself. I put my body under.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Ask for grace to stay chaste in thoughts, words, and deeds.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
1 Corinthians 9:27 (KJV) But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Decide to stop kissing
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
1cor 9
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 23, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Good morning everybody, we are continuing our topic of love language in marriage. Couples should go all out to speak the language of their spouse unreservedly since our aim in marriage is to place our spouse.
It will be good to always look for creative ways to speak the love language our spouse understands. Marriage is a place where we serve each other. We don’t think of ourselves first. We allow and trust God through our spouse to take care of us
That is why it becomes imperative for us to learn and understand our spouse love language.
3. Words of Affirmation
Here, words mean a big deal to your spouse. In speaking his/her love language, you want to be careful of what is said, how it is said, when it is said, your body language, your tone, pitch and everything surrounding the words you say.
Here, it means a lot to your spouse when you give words of encouragement. Words that will uplift him/her. You might not be able to provide all the money in this world but your reassuring words makes them feel loved.
Your thoughtful words keeps him/her going. In times of stress, needs, bills to pay, weakness etc, your words are like magic.
Speaking negative, derogative, harsh and hard words or sermonizing or nagging your spouse could be counterproductive.
Please watch for those other than your spouse that speak gently, softly and tenderly to you. Avoid them, it could be a danger spit for the devil to exploit. An emotional affair could develop if you are not
discerning and careful.
Never look forward to anyone’s company or enjoy any ones company other than your spouse.
4. Quality time
If the love language of your spouse is quality time, then love mean time. Not only quantity but quality of time.
Your spouse will appreciate being present with him/her. Your presence and not just present matters to them.
Create memories. Go out for outings together, dinners, vacations, go to seminars together and just spend time together. However, what you spend your time on also matters.
Quality time means time of getting to know your spouse better, listening them talk, being sensitive to them, trying to understand them and knowing how to react and respond.
The lord will help is all. If could be challenging since usually opposite temperament will always attract and some time our love languages are different or we want our love language expressed in a different way from that of our spouse.
Our male female differences, the background we grew up in and other factors are responsible for this.
As a matter of rule, watch out for people of the opposite sex you spend too much time with.
5. Gifts
Your spouse feels love is not complete until it is expressed in buying of gifts. Something must be given to show you care. It has to cost you. More often than not, the thoughtfulness behind the given will mean more to your spouse. So its nor about the gift, but you taking the pains of know the appropriate gift to buy at what time or occasion. Example you wife just deliver a baby, and you got her a a sexy gown. She probably can’t even wear it because of breast feeding.
Find out our favorite color, scent, her size, her preference, her need. What is the point buying your wife high heels when she is pregnant or buying your husband an expensive office suitcase when he needs a belt and doesn’t go to office but works from home.
In all these love language, we all need the help of the holy spirit to lead and guide us. Lest our good works become evil spoken of. We get offended and not appreciated because it didn’t meet our deepest desire.
The holy spirit is our helper, when we call on him he will help us even in performing our duties of speaking our spouse’s love language.
May God grant us understanding.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I learn to speak my partners love language.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray for wisdom to speak the love language of your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Eph 5:25 ESVHusbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having
cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Speak your spouses’ love language
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Eph 5
by Sylvester Obinna | May 23, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Dear God
Well, you start writing a letter with the word “Dear” and God much likes it when you call Him that.
Have you ever wondered how writing a letter to God would be like? It’s pretty much simple. Just pick a writing pad, notebook, or something to write on and start to write.
After starting with a “Dear God”, you tell Him why He is so great and powerful, why you love Him, and why people praise and worship Him.
Then begin to thank Him for what He has done for you, your parents, siblings, friends and people around you. It’s good to thank Him for not only what He has done for you but for others too.
Move on to laying your requests before Him. Tell Him what you need and it’s not like He doesn’t know but He wants you to still say it. He says you should ask Him of anything and He will answer, that it’s what He hears you say that He will do.
Ask in faith and not in fear, knowing that your heavenly Father is able to do far more than you can ever imagine. Ask knowing that He hears your prayers.
“Behold, I am the Lord , the God of all flesh; is there anything too difficult for Me?”
(Jeremiah 32:27) AMP
Then bring in some more praise and worship as you thank Him for a time in His presence. Thank Him for answered prayers. Give Him the glory and honor due to His name. Don’t forget to close with a faith-filled “In Jesus’ name.”
Of course, you should put your name at the end because all letters end with the name of the writer.
How about you write a letter to God write now, starting with ‘Dear God.”
May the Lord answer all your prayers. Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, I come before You in praise and worship. I adore and exalt Your name.
Action plan:
Write out your prayer list before you start your letter so that you can remember all that you want to write to God.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | May 23, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 4 minutes
A lot of people are at a loss when it comes to this issue of knowing who to marry. A large number are bothered that God has not ‘shown’ them anybody particularly or ‘spoken’ to them in clear terms, yet they have fallen in love with someone and they feel the peace of God about it. Can that be God? No dream, vision, voice, or any spectacular direction, yet it looks like it is God. Is that possible?
A lot more have believed the lie of the devil that God is not really with them in their relationship because they did not hear God tell them who to marry or see anything.
Well, God did not promise to show all of us a dream or vision. He did not promise that He would speak to all of us in an audible voice or in some spectacular way.
However God did promise that He would LEAD all of us!
My dear, that is all you need. Stop bothering yourself. You don’t need to hear a voice. You don’t need to see a dream. You don’t need to fall into a trance before knowing who to marry. The person that sees five dreams in a day is not more spiritual than you that sees nothing. In fact, for all I care, you that don’t dream at all may be more alert to hear God, because the one that hears God through dreams only will be knocked to sleep each time he needs to hear God. Imagine a brother that needs to make a decision, and then he tells you, give me some time, let me go and sleep!
Deliver yourself; stop being intimidated by some overly excited dreamer, allow God to lead you to who to marry the way He wants to. If you are given to dreams, that is great, but don’t feel superior to others around you.
So how do I know I am a child of God when I don’t dream, and I don’t have any spectacular encounter?
Here is the answer.
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. (Romans 8:14 KJV)
There can be leading without some audible voice. All you need to do is to follow. The Lord is my shepherd!
Thank God for who He is that can abandon ninety-nine other sheep to look for me!
The real deal then is to be led.
God can lead you into a relationship without hearing a single voice or seeing any vision!
But you know you are led.
So, how do I know if I am being led?
How do you know you are really born again? How do you know Jesus really exists? Have you see him before? How do you know there is a God in heaven? Did you hear His audible voice or did you see Him in your vision seated on His throne with Cherubims and all that? Why then do you believe in Him?
Because you simply know within yourself that God is. You may not be able to prove it, but you just know in your ‘knower’ that God exists. You know in your ‘knower’ that Jesus died for your sin. You were not there in Golgotha with him physically, but you just know it happened deep within you.
That is what is referred to as ‘Inner witness.’
Inner witness! That is the primary way God speaks to His children. No voice, no vision, no trance, nothing, but just this knowing that comes with an unexplainable peace, too deep and assuring that you cannot put it into words!
Don’t let the devil come to you and tell you that the reason you have a troubled marriage is because you didn’t have any dreams or hear a voice about who to marry!
Do you know that when you have had twenty-five dreams about a particular lady and yet this inner witness is not there, you are not supposed to proceed? This inner witness, the peace of God, is most important!
See it described in the scripture
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 KJV)
I like it particularly in Amplified version
And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Did you see that? That peace of God, that transcends every understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds. Garrison! Mount guard! Those are military terms. That is exactly what happens when you allow the peace of God and you are led by Him. His leading is a like a soldier protecting you. You know why? God will never lead you wrong! Glory to God! He will not lead you into misery! Thank God for His leading.
God is the one that can re-order our steps when we have made mistakes; He is the one that will lead us into our wealthy place. Stay with God and you will never regret. Don’t be led by your feelings which can be fickle, be led by the Holy Spirit, and you will be protected!
This morning, as God’s servant, I speak God’s leading into your life. I speak His peace into your life! May you experience His leading in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am a child of God. I am led of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray that God lead you by His peace
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! (Romans 8:14 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Read Kenneth Hagin’s book – ‘Following God’s plan for you life’
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Rom 8
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 22, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 3 minutes
The concept of the five love languages is very popular. I have written about this topic before but it bears repetition. Sometimes, we think we know something until we hear it again and again.
We don’t fully understand a subject matter until we have taken time to think about it.
The topic of love languages in marriage is so important that the understanding of it will literally solve major issues of your marriage.
Every couple should take time out to ask themselves what their love languages are.
Love language by definition is just how you perceive love. It is the language spoken to you that makes you know that you are loved by that person.
For example, if the language you understand is English and someone is trying to communicate with you something important in Spanish, you will not understand nor respond as you ought because they are not speaking your language and you have not learnt that language.
The same thing happens in marriage. Love needs to be expressed for it to be appreciated. So if your wife or husband is speaking or communicating love to you in a language that is not what you speak or understand, you don’t feel their love.
There are basically 5 love languages. Studies have shown that you can have a combination of more than one love language. For further study, you can read Gary Chapman.
They are
1. Physical touch
2. Acts of service
3. Words of affirmation
4. Quality time
5. Gifts
Let’s begin with:
1. Physical touch
This love language is spoken not only in words, thoughts but more so by touching. For a person whose love language is physical touch, there must always be contact. Your spouse feels special when you touch them. You put your hands around their shoulders when talking to them and they feel loved. A kiss early in the morning, or a hug each time you see them, makes them feel fulfilled. My husband loves it when I stroke the back of his head whenever he is driving and I constantly touch him when we are together.
When your spouse’s love language is physical touch, even when he/she is angry and you speak this language, they calm down. Such spouse respond to touch and body contact a lot.
This is also a pointer to what is to be avoided by anybody that is not your spouse. It is easy to fall in love with anybody speaking your love language to you.
So with this knowledge also comes the responsibility of avoiding persons who want to speak your love language to you other than your spouse.
2. Acts of service
This is your love language when you love things to be done for you. You love it when your spouse helps you do your personal stuffs and also do for you what you are supposed to do.
For example, when your spouse helps you do your chores, helps with the kids, wash the car, do laundry or pay to help someone else do it for you.
It shows that your spouse is thoughtful and concerned. He/ she has not left you all alone to sweat it out, slave away or figure how to get your work done.
Some spouse enjoy work. In fact they have extra energy for work. That is the reason some people who are not disciplined and have this love language often fall on love with the house helps, messengers and the likes.
If your spouse is not speaking this language, you have to let them know it makes you feel loved. Let them make arrangements to someone to help out at a fee.
Let me stop here today.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I learn to speak my partners love language.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray for wisdom to speak the love language of your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Eph 5:25 ESVHusbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Speak your spouses’ love language
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Eph 5
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | May 22, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Words are powerful. Words are eternal. They don’t die.
Jesus said words are spirits.
Joh 6:63 KJV It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.
Nations have gone to war because of words spoken and battles have been known to come to an end because of words.
Jesus also said that words reveal what is in a man’s heart.
Luk 6:45 AMP The upright (honorable, intrinsically good) man out of the good treasure [stored] in his heart produces what is upright (honorable and intrinsically good), and the evil man out of the evil storehouse brings forth that which is depraved (wicked and intrinsically evil); for out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks.
You can decode a man’s attitude from his words. His words, when analysed will show you where he is going.
This morning, I want to show you a few words that men who claim to be your lover often say that show something is defective somewhere. They let you know that your relationship or marriage needs some attention and counsel. Here are a few of those statements that your lover may not be saying.
1. I am not a religious freak. I don’t like church stuffs. I can’t be a fanatic.
What he is really saying: I don’t want to be spiritual. I will not always go to church. I don’t believe in God that much. Once we are married, you will have to stop going to church as you do now.
The implication: Your spiritual life will be depleted. You will not be on the same page. Without a good foundation of spiritual life and relationship with God, you will be limited, you will do a lot of things with struggles and you will never be able to enter the fullness of God’s blessings for your life.
2. There is nothing wrong with sex as long as we love ourselves, although I am not insisting. Even pastors are messing up.
What he is really saying: I will soon get you. It is a matter of time. I will wait for you to get emotionally connected with me and fall in love hopelessly and then you won’t be able to say No. How will I be in a relationship without having sex? ‘You never know anything!’
The implication: His word already reveals his heart. If you stay in a relationship with such a person, you will soon compromise. It is just a matter of time. If you value your relationship with God, you will disconnect from any tiny appearance of compromise before you become entangled and fall in love.
3. Let’s keep our relationship to ourselves for now. I don’t want any pastor or parents to know. Don’t even tell too many of your friends for now. I am a private person and I don’t like being discussed all over the place. Let it just be between the two of us. When the time comes to go public, I will let you know.
What he is really saying: I don’t want to go all the way with you. I don’t want any commitments; all I want is sex! Let’s make the casualty to be only you and not involve any authority figure that will tie me down.
The implication: He will not walk the aisle with you. He is not interested in marriage and there is no point wasting a few of your years with him. A good courtship is not supposed to operate as a secret cult!
4. I really love you and that is why you are number one out of all my girlfriends. You are the one I want to get married to.
What he is really saying: I have other girlfriends that I sleep around with. Be careful so I won’t change my mind about you because I have so many of them in my hands.
The implication: He is manipulating you with that statement and he may not get married to you eventually. Even if he does, there would not be an automatic disconnection with his girlfriends especially if they are sexually involved. You will have to contend with that after marriage and practically fight battles that could have been avoided. As a child of God, you are to be loved and adored by your husband. The moment you are being threatened this way, something is not quite right. Don’t stay under a manipulative man; that is not God’s plan for you.
5. Even though, I am married, I don’t love my wife. I don’t know why I have not met you before I got married. You are my true wife. I will find a way to leave that woman and marry you. You are so caring, loving and I can do anything for you. Just stay with me, I will give you anything you want and I will marry you eventually.
What he is really saying: You think it is so easy to leave the mother of my children? You are just a baby, and I will keep on giving you paltry sums of money to get what I want. I will rent a house for you and buy you a car and I will visit you there for sex. The day you say you are no longer interested, I will collect my car and my house.
The implication: Adultery is not worth it. You will simply waste your youth and practically stop your life. It will look sweet initially but soon turns into gravel in your mouth. Disconnect from such relationships because God doesn’t want you there.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am wise. I have a better understanding of my lover. I know what my lover is saying and not saying.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray that God will show you what your lover is not saying.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. (John 6:63 ESV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Review all your relationships and follow God’s instructions to find out what your lover is not saying.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Jer 29
by Sylvester Obinna | May 22, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Remember we said that prayer is like a one-on-one session with God? It’s time alone with God and not open to anyone or anything to cause any distraction. Distracting someone in prayer is not cool at all.
So, when you see someone praying maybe during church service or not, it’s not the time to start distracting them. It’s not cool to make a joke then or nudge them to look at someone or something irrelevant or trivial.
Don’t tap someone who is praying and say “Hey, look at Tom’s torn jeans” or “See how messed up Susan’s hair is.” It’s really not cool to make jokes about people’s looks, clothes, or social status. And not even during prayers. And God doesn’t want you to do so.
When you do so, you are distracting them from God – you break their connection to God at that time. This prevents them from hearing or receiving a message from God at that time.
Just like you shouldn’t allow anyone or anything to break your focus during prayer, you shouldn’t do so to others too. Let them enjoy the same blessing you receive from praying to God. Don’t be a stumbling block in their path; stop distracting them.
Prayer is an important ingredient to any Christian’s life. It’s important in your life. May the Lord give you a heart of understanding. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, I don’t want to be a stumbling block in the paths of people during their praying time; help me not to be distracting people. Help me to remain focused on You during prayer. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Action plan:
When next you feel the urge to talk to someone and make a joke during prayers, ask the Holy Spirit for help. And don’t do it.
Confession:
My children are true worshippers. They worship God in spirit and in truth. They will not be distracting others in their worship.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Sylvester Obinna | May 21, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Speaking in tongues isn’t just for praying alone as most people would think. As much as the Holy Spirit blessed you with this gift to pray to God, He also gave you the ability to worship God by singing and speaking with the same tongues.
You can be speaking in tongues and be worshipping God with it. Have you ever heard adults in church saying people should worship God in another language, our heavenly language? You see, it is something that the Spirit of God empowers believers to do – not just adults, but children also.
While worshipping God in tongues, the Holy Spirit can magnify it for you and lead you to start singing in tongues as well, as worship to God. You may not know what you are singing, but you shouldn’t be bothered by this because God knows what you are singing. You are not singing rubbish; no you are not! You are only worshipping God in the language of heaven and all heaven is dancing along with you. How amazing is that? Angels dancing as you sing; very amazing.
The benefits of doing this are, worshipping God in tongues takes the burden of constructing words for worship. You also, won’t need new words to worship God with because you are speaking or singing in a language that is divinely renewing itself. Unlike using an earthly language that everyone knows what a word means. A heavenly language can mean so many things at different times. The third thing about it is that it helps you keep your focus on God.
Hallelujah! May the Spirit bless you with a massive gift of tongues to worship the King of kings. Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, give me a stream of tongues that I may release my worship through them to you. I want to sing songs and worship in tongues to you. In Jesus’ name, I ask. Amen.
Action Plan:
If you have the gift of tongues, use them to sing to God. If you don’t, find someone to minister it to you. or ask the Holy Spirit for it.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 21, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 3 minutes
So here is the concluding part of our series on Handling affairs in marriage. Let me just delve into today’s teaching and get it over with.
Like I said earlier, the Grace of God needs to be embraced in an abundant measure to effectively help with handling affairs in marriage.
4. A lot of teachings
It is good for the spouse of the erring couple to surround the spouse involved in an affair with a lot of good teaching materials. It is the truth from inside those books that God will use to set him/her free. It is the truth that set free
Joh 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
No matter your good words it will not be as effective as God’s word. Let good lead you to specific materials and tapes of anointed men and women of God. There is virtually every book on every topic you are looking for on telegram, books on handling affairs in marriage inclusive. Download them and let the spouse involved in an affair, read them.
Transformation only comes by renewing the mind.
Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
It will also be helpful if the erring spouse can have some time of sober reflection, this has a good part to play in handling affairs in marriage.
5. A lot of prayers
This becomes very important. Intercession must be going on for the spouse involved in affair as much as the erring spouse should also be doing a lot of prayer for himself or herself.
Prayers for the help of God, Mercy, forgiveness, Grace to crucify the flesh and not yield to its dictates must be said as often as possible by the erring spouse. Faith and hope must also be kept alive because if the devil succeeds in getting the erring spouse to a point of defeat, this will help in handling affairs in marriage. A point where he/she feels despondent or a feeling of ‘there is no point’, ‘ let give up’, the battle has been lost.
But keep hope alive and encourage the erring spouse that with God all things are possible. The grace of God can make strong. The flesh cannot have dominion over you because Christ has already died for you. Prayer is a game-changer when it comes to handling affairs in marriage
We are not of them that give up. Christ never gave up even though the pain and the price he paid was so much. He won the victory. He won the battle. So we have the victory. We are only enforcing our victory because the devil is a liar.
The devil seeks to kill, steal and destroy. The erring spouse must just be encouraging to stand his ground.
Psa 30:5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
There will be great joy, if you endure the discipline of enforcing your victory and you’re finally able to handle and put a stop to affairs in marriage.
Jas 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
When you learn to submit to God and his principles and ways of doing things, you will resist the devil and he has no choice but to flee, and this will help a great deal in handling affairs in marriage.
Resist him no matter how strong the temptation is or long the addiction has been. You resist him in the name of Jesus. Use every weapon to resist him. The blood of Jesus, communion, the word, prayers and he will flee.
God bless you.
May God grant us more understanding and give us grace to do. God surround our marriage in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will be faithful to my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Father, help me to keep my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
James 4:7 (ESV): Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he
will flee from you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Open up to your spouse, if need be.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Js 4
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | May 21, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 4 minutes
I remember many years ago, as a young Christian, I was praying and trusting God for some things. God answered me very clearly and told me to forgive so and so. Now, these people really hurt me, and I felt justified walking in an unforgiving spirit. But then God gave me two scriptures and said if I want to move forward in life, I have to forgive.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 ESV)
The second scripture God gave me was:
To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices (2 Corinthians 2:10-11 KJV)
- I had to listen to God and it was only then I was able to move forward.
2. From the above scriptures, a few things are clear.
3. People will hurt you, as long as you are human and you are in the days of your flesh.
4. You will like to get even, born again or not.
5. Don’t get even; don’t avenge yourself.
6. God will avenge you, He will fight for you and that is when it is sweetest.
7. If you stay in unforgiving mode, Satan will use it as loophole to cause havoc.
You are not to be ignorant of how the devil operates.
A third scripture I will like you to see is here:
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matthew 6:14-15 KJV)
Now, you don’t want to find yourself here. You don’t want to find yourself in a place where God will not forgive you. And yet, the only way not to get there is to forgive people easily! Now as you read this, I really want you to check yourself out. Are you holding a few people in your heart without forgiving them? Well, it could slow you down, literarily!
It could cause delays in marriages, it could cause relationships not to work out, and other havocs can be wrecked. That’s why I tell people; don’t start another relationship immediately after one has just ended. Give yourself a break, at least, six months. Why? When you rush into another relationship with hurts, wounds, bitterness, and an unforgiving spirit, you will end up frustrating that other person, and the relationship will still not work out. You cannot establish a relationship on a foundation of hurts, wounds, and bitterness!
When you stay in unforgiving mode, it’s like moving away from God’s protective arm into the terrain of the devil. A lot of us fast and pray fervently, but hear me and hear me well, if you don’t forgive, you will never be able to enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings. I come to you this morning, by the Spirit of God and by His grace which He has endowed me with and I speak into your life and destiny, ‘Forgive!’
Yes, I know you are hurt! Yes, I know you were jilted. Yes, I know you were raped. Yes, I know you were defrauded. Yes, I know you were abandoned when it is just a few days before the wedding. Yes, I know there has been a divorce. Yes, I know you were cheated. Yes, I know you were wrongfully accused. Yes, I know your spouse cheated on you and manipulated you…and the list goes on.
But you cannot afford some bitterness. It is too expensive for you! You need God now, don’t you? You yourself are not perfect, are you? The only way God can overlook, forgive and forget your own imperfections and cause His mercy to avail for you is when you forgive that person.
There are some of us that hold our parents in derision. You are wrong to do that. But my parents are not born-again! You see the scripture never says you should honour your born-again parents! He said you should honour your parents! That is how to last on the planet earth! So that your days will be long! In fact, a particular translation says, honour your parents so that God can say well done to you!
Some of you are having delays in marriage because you are walking in disobedience. If your parents have ever said wrong words to you because you were at loggerheads with them, go back to them and apologize. Humble yourself, so that you won’t slow yourself down. Dishonoring your parents and refusing to forgive them can cost you your life! Read your Bible very well.
Go back to them, buy a gift, prostrate or kneel down and ask them to bless you! That act alone will be better off than ninety days of fasting and prayers, which might not yield results because of an unforgiving spirit.
Forgive your spouse. You will do yourself a lot of good if you do that. If you don’t forgive him or her, your prayers will be hindered. Don’t block God’s blessings over you at this time. Why waste your time praying? Isn’t that a religious spirit at work? Married couples, be quick to forgive each other! Don’t allow strife in your family. If you have been in prolonged hurt and strife, it is dangerous. End it today and allow God’s blessing to flow in your family. Leave your ego behind and obey God. Take your wife out, buy her a gift and apologize! Go to your husband and kneel down and ask for forgiveness. It is not old-fashioned; it is scripture!
Let go and let God! Let it be a beginning of a new day for you and yours! Let go of everybody you are holding in your mind. Burn your little black book of offenses and stop recording hurts. Delete them not only from your memory but from recycle bin as well. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of them are the issues of life.
May God help you and give you strength to forgive all you need to forgive in Jesus name!
Partner with us Today. Use links above.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have a forgiving attitude. I am quick to forgive.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, give me the grace to let go of all who have hurt me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: (Matthew 6:14 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Let go and let God
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Matt 6
by Sylvester Obinna | May 20, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
You can worship God through songs. Lovely songs that come from deep within you. You release these songs to Him as much as the Holy Spirit impresses them on your heart. You sing songs that speak of His goodness, mercies, great deeds, and much more.
These songs don’t even have to be known ones that you have heard before. They could be new, just given to you by the Spirit of God because that is what God wants you to say to Him at that particular moment.
Sometimes, the Holy Spirit won’t even allow you to write them down. He just wants you to sing them at that moment for God. Wonder why He says He is jealous? He can be that jealous and wants only you to sing those songs or just a song for Him.
Singing to God is something David was known for. The bible is full of the Psalms He wrote to God as worship to the great and mighty God.
Be like David and let the Holy Spirit give you songs that God wants only you to sing to Him. Isn’t that a wonderful thing? God giving you a unique song to sing to Him just for Him only. Hallelujah!
God loves it when children sing for Him. Your sweet voice is what He wants to hear first thing in the morning, during the day and even at night before you sleep. He waits to hear your voice worship Him with songs.
May the Lord receive your worship. Amen.
Prayer:
Mighty God, I raise my voice in worship to you. Let my voice and song(s) be sweet to Your ears. May Your Spirit give me the words to sing to You only. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Action Point:
Find, rehearse and sing beautiful songs in worship of the God of the whole universe. Tell Him why You love Him. He is waiting to hear you sing.
Confession:
I will sing praise unto God all day. I will not be an ingrate, complaining or grumbling.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | May 20, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Yesterday, we began this discussion, pointing out tell-tale signs to look out for, so that your lover who is on fire today, may not backslide after marriage. If you missed it, see it here.
Our anchor scripture remains:
2Pe 2:20-22 (MSG) If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left. [21] Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”
What are other things to note in the area of relationships?
7. When you meet a new person in a church setting, beyond falling in love with some height or some hot legs, find out how involved he is in church. Is he or she a worker in that church? How long has he or she been in the church? Does the pastor know him or her personally?
Is he filled with the Holy Spirit? All these do not guarantee a successful or stress-free marriage, however, they go a long way to establish some credibility and spirituality of the person involved.
This is a better approach than meeting someone in church and on the same day, you are in his house! You must learn how to protect yourself!
8. You need to know that being born again can be genuine and yet the guy or lady is still involved in some sharp practices. When you are born again, your spirit is regenerated, but your mind is in the process of being renewed as you listen to God’s word.
This often takes time and is determined by how studious you are in the word and how much time you give to the study of God’s word. In the process of the mind being renewed, a lot of ‘sinful’ mistakes can happen.
As long as they are not habitual, God will forgive and you will be okay. But when you do something habitually and unrepentantly, the conscience becomes seared and a religious spirit takes over.
9. When you see obvious character defects, don’t close your eyes to them especially when he or she says he will change later. Marriage changes nobody.
Anybody that tells you he or she will change later is deceiving you. What do you do when you see character defects? Seek help! Don’t keep quiet.
10. If during courtship or after marriage, you suddenly discover you never knew who you were in the same boat with, here is what to do. In courtship, take a pause on everything until you find a solution. For example, if the issues has to do with physical violence or physical abuse, don’t just keep quiet thinking that marriage will soften him.
Don’t walk down the aisle into that kind of marriage, or you might need to soon run up the aisle and out! If you are getting slaps in courtship, guess what will happen in marriage? In marriage, divorce is not the first option. Look for a Christian marriage counselor or marriage therapist for help.
11. If you are in a distant relationship or some online dating, you need to know that you will not have a distant marriage and you will not live online.
The reality must dawn on you never to make life-involving decisions without knowing the person very well. It is wrong for you to fall in love with a stranger. Something is not quite right with falling in love with an online profile or some voice over the phone! Marriage is not a game! It is a covenant!
12. Finally, we are all projects in the making in the hands of God. Nobody is perfect, but there are things that are unbecoming for a child of God. When you see some of these things, it is time to seek help, or if intense, run for your life!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have divine wisdom from God to make decisions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray and ask God to show you what you don’t know about your life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. (Jeremiah 33:3 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Take an inventory of all the relationships in your life
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Ps 69
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 20, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 3 minutes
We started on the topic of Handling affairs in marriage difficult. We started on this topic yesterday and I established the fact that it is a difficult situation to handle for the spouse.
It is better prevented than experienced.
Handling affairs in marriage is difficult. The pain and hurt of the betrayal of an affair is in different categories. There are more painful experiences than others.
Imagine the pain of someone having a full-blown sexual affair with your house help or having an affair with your sister or brother or with your best friend or even with someone who needed your help and offered to help.
The pain of being cheated and taken for a fool is best described as a dagger piercing ones soul.
That is why, the spouse of the erring spouse must allow the Lord heal his/her soul completely.
The first response is that of frustration and revenge.
It is to be noted that our response to handling this issue (i.e handling affairs in marriage) can never be in the flesh. If we must handle things well, we should never allow our flesh to gain ascendancy over our spirit.
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1 KJV
The only way to avoid condemnation is to walk in the spirit.
The devil seeks to accuse us to God even in the midst of that very difficult situation. He wants to accuse us so that the unity and agreement needed as a couple to break the backbone of lust is broken.
When the spouse that is supposed to stand in the gap to the erring spouse is bitter and offended against the spouse that needs help, how will there be total victory and complete deliverance?
Hear me, I am not saying or pushing the responsibility to be free in the hands of the other spouse, I’m only saying it puts the enemy to shame faster.
Imagine if someone comes to accuse your son to you for stealing your money expecting you to flog him, it will be the son’s privilege and he will forever be grateful if you don’t join the outsider to condemn him but show him mercy.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: Matthew 6:14 KJV
The outsider cannot do anything except the father agrees with the outsider to punish his son.
I am not undermining disciplining a child when wrong. It is just an analogy to tell us you don’t have to join the enemy in disciplining or correcting your son. You will punish your son but not in the presence of the outsider. It is a family issue and should be handled as such.
Likewise handle the erring spouse infidelity as such. Once again, this is done by being in the spirit.
Let’s continue on the issue of handling affairs in marriage
3. Walk in the spirit
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 KJV
If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Galatians 5:25 KJV
Our flesh is what seeks expression when we feel we have been violated. The flesh wants to respond in retaliation. The flesh wants to fight back but we must go by the way of the cross when it comes to the issue of handling affairs in marriage.
It takes unconditional love to forgive and keep forgiving even when the erring spouse is in the wrong.
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21 – 22 KJV
It takes a conscious walk in the spirit to do this. If it were not possible, Jesus would have not said it. But that he said it means it is possible.
Jesus will definitely give us grace. This Grace is available for us if we will embrace it. If we are willing and obedient, he will give us this grace to forgive.
But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. James 4:6 KJV
Let’s trust God to help us. No matter how far stretched we are, God still has more Grace to give to us.
I will stop here today and continue tomorrow on handling affairs in marriage
God bless our marriage and protect us from the powers of darkness.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will be faithful to my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
My Father, help me to keep my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
James 4:7 (ESV): Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he
will flee from you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Open up to your spouse, if there be any issues
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Ps 70
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 19, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 2 minutes
It is difficult and hard when your spouse has been involved in an affair or affairs. It takes a lot of maturity and God’s love shed abroad in our hearts to properly handle the situation.
It will take God and the willingness of the erring spouse to denounce this habit, turn a new leave and become an instrument against affairs in the hands of God.
Such change is very possible when the erring spouse knows how to appropriate the grace, mercy, and blood of Jesus. No devil has the power to make any of us do what we don’t want to do.
For example, the deliverance of Saul was complete and total. Never did he go back again to persecuting the church. So the determination of the erring spouse is more important than what the spouse does or does not do.
Despite the reaction of the spouse, total victory is still a reality.
However, for the sake of support and those who are not so strong, here are things the spouse of an erring spouse is not to do.
- Never allow a feeling of revenge overtake you.
The devil is a bad devil and would love to exploit any situation, but the bible says we should resist him.
So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 NLT
You may be tempted to also pay your spouse back in the same coin, to also cheat and have an affair. The temptation will be strong but please do not yield to it.
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19 NLT
Keep yourself in the love of God.
2. Never try to blow your own trumpet.
The devil is full of different strategies that he never seeks to give up. Even when it is obvious he has lost the battle, he still wants to try, peradventure he could still win some grounds.
God should still remain the center of focus and not man. So it is better to continually give all the glory to God. Don’t think it is because you are smart or gifted that you discovered. It is God that made it happen. He gave you the wisdom.
Don’t also think you are standing because you are righteous, it is of the Lord’s mercy.
So rather than blow your trumpet of being the good cop over all the years, thank God for the grace to be faithful. We are all a product of God’s help.
Thank God you made yourself available for God to use you in being so forthright, disciplined, and focused.
We all are a product of God’s Mercy.
I will stop here today, and continue tomorrow by the grace of God.
It is my prayer that God will give us more understanding in Jesus’ name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will be faithful to my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
My Father, help me to keep my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
James 4:7 (ESV): Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Open up to your spouse, if there be any issues
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Ps 66-68
by Sylvester Obinna | May 19, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Yesterday, we started the series on how to be creative with your worship of God. Today we will look at one way to do so – the art of prayer.
Prayer is a time of communicating with God one-on-one. Imagine that you are in a room with God and discussing with Him. You open your heart to Him about what you need, what you are going through and more. Prayer is more like that. It’s a closed-room session with God, where no one or anything is allowed in or should be allowed in.
And in that room, you can’t be talking with Him and also be talking to someone else. All of your attention should be on Him and what you want to say to Him. You shouldn’t be distracted by anything or anyone or allowing your thoughts to wander. If you want to stand, sit, kneel, bend or take any form, do so with the knowledge of being in His presence.
Having wandering thoughts breaks your connection to Him and in the process, you lose hearing Him speak, put impressions in your heart and sometimes hear something wrongly.
When you focus on Him, it helps to strengthen the connection between Him and you. Your prayers reach Him and you receive answers to them. Think of your TV set plugged into the wall socket. If you put it on without it plugged into the socket, it won’t come on. Much the same way if you go into God’s presence in prayer and losing focus.
One way you can be focused during prayers is by finding a quiet place to pray.
May the Lord help you to remain focused on Him during prayers, Amen.
Prayer point:
Lord, give me the grace to focus on You only during prayers. I remove every hindrance or distraction from my prayer time with You in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Confession:
I am focused. My prayer is with utmost attention. I am not distracted in the place of prayers. I pray till I see my heart desires.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | May 19, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 3 minutes
The issue above is one of the commonest statements of regret from several people that I counsel every other month. Avoiding in marriage a lover on fire today but cold later is possible.
“Pastor, he has changed…”
“Pastor, I never knew he was like this…”
“Pastor, before we got married, he was a leader in the fellowship, but now, he doesn’t go to church…”
“Pastor, during our courtship, he was so sweet, but now, he beats me up!
“Pastor, I never knew him because our courtship was a distant one…”
…And so on and so forth…
Well, what went wrong along the way?
2Pe 2:20-22 (MSG) If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left. [21] Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”
Here are a few things to note.
- There are pretenders out there. There are people who will feign being in the faith just to get a ‘good’ girl that will not give them ‘problems’ in marriage. This is where Christian pre-marriage counseling comes in.
2. That you met somebody in church does not guarantee that he or she is a true child of God or that you are avoiding in marriage all troubles. Anybody and everybody can attend church services for different purposes. Always seek counsel before you get involved with anybody.
3. Not everybody in the church setting is looking for God. That is why phones and personal effects get missing in church. An angel didn’t steal them. They were stolen by people with whom you worship but with ulterior motives.
4. Let the leadership of the church be involved in your relationship and marriage. There are some churches that have marriage guidance councils, these are not instituted to control you or spy into your private life but to guide you appropriately. Let your pastor be in the know. This is important because the pastor usually knows the committed ones and those who are insincere to an extent.
5. Learn all you can learn. Get marriage tips and free Christian advice online for avoiding chaos in marriage. On Kisses and Huggs Club, for example, we offer free Christian advice for singles and married couples and you can get advice on marriage issues on our daily devotionals, daily discussions and several other materials online. Don’t walk into a marriage ignorantly and so naïve that you fall for anything.
6. As a marriage counselor for some years, I can rightly say that it is true some people really love the Lord, but along the way, there is a turn around. Avoiding in marriage such people is what this post is about. This can be due to negative influence, change of environment, pressure that comes with marriage, choice of career and so on. Whatever it is, when you find yourself in this kind of scenario, you need to quickly find a marriage counselor to talk to.
I will stop here today and conclude on this topic tomorrow.
Be blessed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have divine wisdom from God to make decisions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray and ask God to show you what you don’t know about your life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
(Jeremiah 33:3 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Take an inventory of all the relationships in your life
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR
Ps 66-68
by Sylvester Obinna | May 18, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: < 1 minute
What is worship? This is the act of giving reverence to God through your actions, words, thoughts, and in everything you do. You understand how powerful and holy God is and just want to show him how much you think of Him this way.
Your heart wants to connect with Him, to tell Him that you know He is the only true God. Beautiful words come to your mouth from the deepest parts of your heart, and it feels so good to say those words to Him.
When words aren’t enough, sometimes you turn them into songs. Songs that overflow with worship for Him. You sing to Him about His mightiness, awesomeness, beauty, and love for all mankind.
How about some love letters to Him, just like the Psalmists in the bible wrote psalms for God, telling about His deeds to man, to nature, and more.
In the next few days, we are going to be looking at how creative you can be in your worship of God.
May He give you the grace to worship Him in truth. Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, I bask in your wonder and bow in worship to you.
Action Point:
Look up more definitions of what worship is. Relate it to worshipping God.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 18, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Yesterday, we looked at how to handle an affair from the erring spouse part. This is so important because the bulk of the work lies on the spouse that had an affair.
The responsibility is on him/her. The spouse is just to be support and to forgive.
The erring spouse has the responsibility of being brutally truthful, sincere and repentant.
There are some scenarios that the spouse is under demonic influence and finds it difficult to be sincere or truthful. Prayers of God healing by giving him/her a new and clean heart will be necessary. This is because to successfully handle an affair squarely requires sincerity and truthfulness.
Let’s continue today with the other steps. You can read yesterday’s devotionals HERE
4. Attach pain to the experience of having an affair.
Until an affair is associated with pain in the mind and the brain, thorough work is not done. The erring couple must have several quiet moments of self-talk and deep ruminating of the issue. That’s why depending on the situation, the erring spouse must be left alone to have some sober reflections.
This sober reflection is necessary for a certain positive conclusion to be made. Although a lot of prayers are needed in this period. The support of the other spouse is also needed by not criticizing, nagging, and not showing rage or irritability.
A lot of love, emotional support, care, and reassuring words should be given to the erring spouse at such times as this. A spouse should come out of this ordeal stronger, better, and bigger ready to help those in the same predicament.
That’s the way God organized things in the kingdom. What you have overcome, you have the Grace to help set others free.
6. Change the environment.
It might be necessary to that environment where the affair happened. However, this may not always be possible. If you can’t change your environment, you can at least change what YOU do within that compromising environment.
Whether you have lunch breaks together alone with a particular lady, you have to change this. It is to be noted that the affair could be an emotional affair. Don’t be deceived, an emotional affair is as serious as a sexual affair. In God, they are the same.
But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28 NLT
7. Make sure you don’t play the blame game.
What has happened has happened. Don’t cry over split milk. Don’t wallow in self-pity. That is the devil domain. You don’t want to cooperate with the devil to make your freedom difficult.
You must embrace Gods free gift of forgiveness and obey all His principles.
Don’t go to the extreme concerning yourself. David committed adultery and murder yet God called him a man after my heart. God restored him and he was one of the most famous kings on earth.
Don’t doubt God’s love. When He says He has forgiven you He means exactly that. Embrace His love and His forgiveness.
I believe you have found these steps helpful. May God enlighten our darkness in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am committed to my marriage vows.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to love my spouse appropriately.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
If you are having an affair, make amends today
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Prov 2
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | May 18, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 3 minutes
There is no doubt that God speaks to His people. For me, God spoke to me clearly while I was a student on the Campus as relating to relationships and marriage. Knowing the right lover is key!
God still speaks today. He is a speaking God. “saith the Lord’ is found over eight hundred times in the scriptures.
Jesus constantly speaks to us.
Isa 30:21 AMP And your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.
The Holy Spirit is a speaking Spirit.
Joh 12:50 KJV And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.
He desires to lead us. Here a few things to note in Intricacies of Knowing the right lover
- God will not speak to you outside of His word.
2. To hear God more, read His word the more. His word in your Spirit prepares your Spirit like a receptacle to hear God.
3. When you seek His face, you will hear Him speak to you. God still speaks.
4. Fasting and prayer often helps to hear God more clearly.
Act 13:2 KJV As they ministered to the Lord, and fasted, the Holy Ghost said, Separate me Barnabas and Saul for the work whereunto I have called them.
5. Relationship and marriage should not be the first issues that arise when you are trying to hear God. Try developing hearing Him in other areas as well. Intricacies of Knowing the right lover is in hearing Him.
6. God is particular even with the minutest details of your life, and when you learn to relate with the Holy Spirit like you will relate with a friend, He will always speak to you, like a friend will speak to you.
7. When God shows you a guy, calm down, don’t get suggestive, let him discover too. The lady is not the aggressor; she is the responder.
8. When God shows you a lady, it is just information because you are His child and fathers speak to their children. You are His friend. So He tells you of what is to come. Jesus said when the Holy Spirit comes, He will tell us of things to come.
9. That he showed you does not mean you should go ahead and propose. You also need to ask Him when to go ahead and propose. There is a difference between preparation and performance. This is Intricacies of Knowing the right lover
10. In the things of God, He often shows you things ahead. Because the information is coming from God, it would look like you should act immediately. But most of the time, it is never an immediate action. He showed Joseph some things that only came to pass several years later. David was anointed but never mounted the throne immediately. Some of these promises have to be patiently obtained.
11. It is possible to get a big ‘NO’ from a lady and yet God has spoken to you. You jumped ahead and did not follow His leading completely. The lady is not ready at the time. Just like God spoke to you, God has to speak to her too!
12. The primary way God will lead you is through inner witness. You just know within you. Do not seek dreams and visions because the devil can give them. Stay consistently in God’s word and pray in the Spirit a lot. That way, God will ensure that you don’t miss it in life. God still speaks.
13. It is one thing for God to speak to you about a person. That does not mean it will work out or lead into marriage especially if you unrepentantly compromise regularly, or you did not work at your relationship in terms of character development. For example, God might have spoken to you and yet anger problems can ruin it all.
14. Until you have heard from God, do not take that step. Be still and know that He is God! Calm Down!
Psa 46:10 (CEV) Our God says, “Calm down, and learn that I am God! All nations on earth will honor me.”
I pray for you this morning, your life will not become an experiment. You will enjoy God’s leading in every area of your life in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I hear God’s voice daily.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, open my ears to hear your voice every day of my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Isaiah 30:21 ERV
and thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it; when ye turn to the right hand and when e turn to the left.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Take time to pray in the spirit
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
John 12
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 17, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 2 minutes
An affair is an illegal relationship with anyone other than your spouse. It could be sexual and non-sexual in nature. Each spouse should set boundaries of how far they can go with the relationship with the opposite sex.
I feel we should all work on our relationship with our spouse in such a way that we will not need other persons to fulfill our desires, cravings, attention, and longings. If we are satisfied emotionally and sexually there will be no reasons for an affair.
We don’t live in a perfect world or perfect situation neither are our spouses perfect.
A born-again child of God is not expected to have an affair. However, when an affair does happen, these are practical steps to go about handling it.
No matter what happens, our spouse remains our covenant partner. We should seek their restoration by handling the situation well. On the part of the spouse having an affair, things should also be handled with all sincerity so that it never happens again.
1. Confrontation
The first step to handling an affair is confronting it. What you don’t confront you can never change. The erring spouse should come to a place where he/ she knows that having an affair is an attempt of the devil to steal, kill and destroy from you. You should call it a sin and not just a mistake.
You are not confronting when you still make excuses or when you explain.
2. Ask for forgiveness.
There is no forgiveness until there is a willingness to turn around from your sins.
The erring spouse should acknowledge that he/she needs to be forgiven.
3. Seek help and support.
That an affair has taken place shows that there are principles you don’t know or are taking for granted. You need to be educated and informed.
This is the time to search for books that talk about how to handling lust, how to handle affairs, how to set healthy boundaries, how to love and satisfy your spouse.
The resources are so much. What reading along this line does is that you get enlightened. When the light comes, ignorance vanishes.
It is also good to learn how you fell, because recognizing the pitfall will help you avoid such next time.
It is my prayer that God will grant us more understanding.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am committed to my marriage vows.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to love my spouse appropriately.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
If you are having an affair, make amends today
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Prov 2
