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Sade is deeply in love with Andy. They both looked forward to marriage. But deep down in her mind, there are doubts. She didn’t know what to do with the doubts.

George and Sandy are seeing each other. For him, Sandy is beautiful, but this nagging feeling about something not being right was always there.

Betty and Buddy are married. They had a little boy and everybody thought their marriage is a beautiful one, but they are beginning to question whether they are meant for each other.

This morning, I will like to address the issue of doubts in relationships. What do you do with these doubts?

When do doubts occur in a relationship or marriage? These are some instances.

1 When a relationship is not of God and God is trying to get your attention.

2 When a relationship is of God, but the devil wants to confuse you so as to miss God’s will.

3 When your expectation for marriage are unrealistic and your expectations are not being met.

4 When you get involved in sexual sins, and then confusion enters the soul because God’s order has been violated. The devil will take advantage of the situation and bring confusion unless you quickly ask God for forgiveness and then repent genuinely.

5 When your perspective to life and marriage is warped, you will have doubts about a relationship or marriage, even when it is in God’s plan.

6 When you begin a relationship or go into a marriage without duly asking for God’s direction.

7 When all you did before a relationship or marriage is seeking some prophet or guidance without a personal inner conviction.

8 When you begin a relationship or go into a marriage as escapism from what you have just been through.

9 When all authority figures in your life are against your relationships and marriage. Along the way, doubts will arise.

10 When serious challenges arise along the way, and you cannot handle them properly, you will begin to doubt.

The next question is can doubt be completely eliminated?
The answer is a big NO! You see, you are still in the days of your flesh, and doubts will still attempt to come into your heart, but when you have heard God, you will easily dispel the doubt!

Remember Jesus Christ? Doubts began to come at the garden of Gethsemane when the agony of what was ahead overwhelmed him.

The next question is what do I do to guard against doubts?

1 Never take a step until you are sure it is God’s plan.

That way, when doubts arise, you will easily identify the source and then you can deal with it. You will know that the doubt is coming to fight you out of God’s will and you will resist it.

But when you are not sure whether it was God or not in the first place, when doubts arise along the way, you are unsure of how to handle it, because inner conviction is absent.

2 Better be late than be wrong!

Don’t be hasty. Don’t fall in love senselessly.

3 Listen to all authority figures in your life, Pastors, Parents, Mentors et cetera.

While they are not supposed to decide for you, God can often speak through them to warn you about steps you are about to take. Do not despise or disregard their wisdom.

4 Learn to read and study God’s word regularly.

It brings you the wisdom that stabilizes your soul.

The next question is what if I am already in doubt?

1. Go back to God to confirm what He said in the first place.

There is nothing wrong with hearing God again.

God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this (Psalms 62:11 KJV)

2. Take time to stay in God’s presence and you will hear Him again.

Sometimes you might have to fast to get your mind quiet.

3. Stay away from every sin.

Ask God to forgive you if you are hooked up with masturbation, pornography, pre-marital sex, or some other sexual perversion.

4. If you are married and doubt is arising, the thing to do is not to give up and start seeking a divorce.

You are already one and the scripture does not advocate divorce as the first option unless in extreme cases where your life is being threatened. So, go back to God and pray, for there is nothing impossible with Him.

5. Learn to pray together.

When you don’t pray, unnecessary issues will arise often and destabilize you.

The last question is how can I be sure a decision is of God?

When a decision you are about to take or have taken is of God, you will have peace. It is an unexplainable peace that doesn’t seem to line up with physical reality sometimes, but the peace will be there that tells you all is well. When this peace is absent, never go ahead with that decision.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 KJV)

I pray for you this morning that God will keep your hearts indeed by His peace!

I will not miss it.

Lord, surround me with your peace.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:7 ESV)

Pray through before making that decision

Phil 4