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The issue above is one of the commonest statements of regret from several people that I counsel every other month. Avoiding in marriage a lover on fire today but cold later is possible.

“Pastor, he has changed…”

“Pastor, I never knew he was like this…”

“Pastor, before we got married, he was a leader in the fellowship, but now, he doesn’t go to church…”

“Pastor, during our courtship, he was so sweet, but now, he beats me up!

“Pastor, I never knew him because our courtship was a distant one…”

…And so on and so forth…

Well, what went wrong along the way?

2Pe 2:20-22 (MSG) If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left. [21] Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”

Here are a few things to note.

  1. There are pretenders out there. There are people who will feign being in the faith just to get a ‘good’ girl that will not give them ‘problems’ in marriage. This is where Christian pre-marriage counseling comes in.

2. That you met somebody in church does not guarantee that he or she is a true child of God or that you are avoiding in marriage all troubles. Anybody and everybody can attend church services for different purposes. Always seek counsel before you get involved with anybody.

3. Not everybody in the church setting is looking for God. That is why phones and personal effects get missing in church. An angel didn’t steal them. They were stolen by people with whom you worship but with ulterior motives.

4. Let the leadership of the church be involved in your relationship and marriage. There are some churches that have marriage guidance councils, these are not instituted to control you or spy into your private life but to guide you appropriately. Let your pastor be in the know. This is important because the pastor usually knows the committed ones and those who are insincere to an extent.

5. Learn all you can learn. Get marriage tips and free Christian advice online for avoiding chaos in marriage. On Kisses and Huggs Club, for example, we offer free Christian advice for singles and married couples and you can get advice on marriage issues on our daily devotionals, daily discussions and several other materials online. Don’t walk into a marriage ignorantly and so naïve that you fall for anything.

6. As a marriage counselor for some years, I can rightly say that it is true some people really love the Lord, but along the way, there is a turn around. Avoiding in marriage such people is what this post is about. This can be due to negative influence, change of environment, pressure that comes with marriage, choice of career and so on. Whatever it is, when you find yourself in this kind of scenario, you need to quickly find a marriage counselor to talk to.

I will stop here today and conclude on this topic tomorrow.

Be blessed.

I have divine wisdom from God to make decisions.

Pray and ask God to show you what you don’t know about your life

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
(Jeremiah 33:3 KJV)

Take an inventory of all the relationships in your life

Ps 66-68


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