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Yesterday, we began this discussion, pointing out tell-tale signs to look out for, so that your lover who is on fire today, may not backslide after marriage. If you missed it, see it here.

Our anchor scripture remains:

2Pe 2:20-22 (MSG)  If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left.  [21] Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command.  [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”

What are other things to note in the area of relationships?

7. When you meet a new person in a church setting, beyond falling in love with some height or some hot legs, find out how involved he is in church. Is he or she a worker in that church? How long has he or she been in the church? Does the pastor know him or her personally?

Is he filled with the Holy Spirit? All these do not guarantee a successful or stress-free marriage, however, they go a long way to establish some credibility and spirituality of the person involved.

This is a better approach than meeting someone in church and on the same day, you are in his house! You must learn how to protect yourself!

8. You need to know that being born again can be genuine and yet the guy or lady is still involved in some sharp practices. When you are born again, your spirit is regenerated, but your mind is in the process of being renewed as you listen to God’s word.

This often takes time and is determined by how studious you are in the word and how much time you give to the study of God’s word. In the process of the mind being renewed, a lot of ‘sinful’ mistakes can happen.

As long as they are not habitual, God will forgive and you will be okay. But when you do something habitually and unrepentantly, the conscience becomes seared and a religious spirit takes over.

9. When you see obvious character defects, don’t close your eyes to them especially when he or she says he will change later. Marriage changes nobody.

Anybody that tells you he or she will change later is deceiving you. What do you do when you see character defects? Seek help! Don’t keep quiet.

10. If during courtship or after marriage, you suddenly discover you never knew who you were in the same boat with, here is what to do. In courtship, take a pause on everything until you find a solution. For example, if the issues has to do with physical violence or physical abuse, don’t just keep quiet thinking that marriage will soften him.

Don’t walk down the aisle into that kind of marriage, or you might need to soon run up the aisle and out! If you are getting slaps in courtship, guess what will happen in marriage? In marriage, divorce is not the first option. Look for a Christian marriage counselor or marriage therapist for help.

11. If you are in a distant relationship or some online dating, you need to know that you will not have a distant marriage and you will not live online.

The reality must dawn on you never to make life-involving decisions without knowing the person very well. It is wrong for you to fall in love with a stranger. Something is not quite right with falling in love with an online profile or some voice over the phone! Marriage is not a game! It is a covenant!

12. Finally, we are all projects in the making in the hands of God. Nobody is perfect, but there are things that are unbecoming for a child of God. When you see some of these things, it is time to seek help, or if intense, run for your life!

I have divine wisdom from God to make decisions.

Pray and ask God to show you what you don’t know about your life

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. (Jeremiah 33:3 KJV)

Take an inventory of all the relationships in your life

Ps 69


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