by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | Jun 6, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Talking about gratitude or being grateful, I think every couple should be overly grateful to their spouse. Not only is it for the woman to be grateful but also for the man. We all owe ourselves a lifetime of gratitude.
If not for anything, that he/she married you. You know how difficult it could be, being married to you. The times you threw tantrums, the times you were ‘mad’ (literally), the time you did not understand yourself, the time you were under pressure, the time you were in debt, the time when you were sick and all these times your spouse stood with and by you.
I think we all should throw a gratitude party and make our spouses the special guest of honour.
But instead, what do we have? A grateful wife and a complaining husband. I think we all should repent. If only we could change roles we would see that it has not been easy.
If the woman changes roles and becomes the man for a while and the man becomes the woman, we would appreciate our spouses more. The truth is that there is a lot of work in being either of the spouses. Let no one blow his/her own trumpet.
But I want to shed more light on how the wife can use gratitude as a weapon to win the battles on the home front. Well not really battles but more of confrontations.
All women have the tendencies to nag and complain. There are so many things the wife wants to change in her husband. She’s an emotional relational being and so sees all the wrong things her husband does.
The route of complaining and nagging will never work. If anything, it will make your husband battle-ready. The role of the wife is that of influence. Before you can adequately influence, you must have accepted him.
Acceptance comes with praise, gratitude, and thanksgiving. Be grateful first for the hundred thousand before complaining that he didn’t give you a million. Be grateful for the trash he threw out even though he didn’t mow the grass.
I can give so many examples and show us many opportunities we have to be grateful for. As a wife, let gratitude be your daily weapon. Let no day pass without you being grateful. Look for something to be grateful for and do it enthusiastically.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will love for my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, grant me more wisdom and grace in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Bless your fresh–flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose–– don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore (Proverbs 5:18-20 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Decide to settle all quarrels amicably
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Psalm 133
by Sylvester Obinna | Jun 6, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
A wide and pleasant smile plastered over Tade’s face as he collected the bowl of food from the food seller at the school’s canteen. He couldn’t hold back the urge to pick a piece of meat and slide it into his mouth. But anger was lurking somewhere in the corner!
He had hardly taken two bites when someone crashed into him, sending both him and the plate of food to the ground. To make matters worse, his uniform was soiled with oil.
His eyes went from the food on the floor to the culprit standing over him. He heard the whole canteen go up in laughter as he focused on Yinka, his anger rising.
‘Why did you push me?’ he asked Yinka.
Yinka chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. Tade saw this and just like all the other times like this, he knew Yinka would never apologize. This fueled his anger the more.
‘That was my lunch.’
‘So?’ Yinka said, daring Tade to do his worst.
Tade bolted up in a flash and smacked Yinka straight in the face, followed by punches in the stomach and a powerful one to the jaw. Yinka staggered back, tasted the blood in his mouth, and spat out a tooth. Anger now ruled in the boys. Instantly Yinka responded with his own punches and the fight began.
At the end of the day, both boys were sitting in the Principal’s office with oil-stained uniforms, swollen faces, missing teeth, painful torsos, and no lunch.
Getting angry and acting out the anger, just like what happened in the story above, is why you shouldn’t let your anger control you. Tade got angry at what Yinka had done and attacked him, leading Yinka to act out his anger also. In the end, both boys had lost a lot.
When you hit back at someone, you likely will do so more than they hit back at you. And the person will also hit back at you more than you did. The cycle continues like that till it escalates to a point when both of you would have lost so much at the end. That is how anger cycles.
May God grant you the grace to hold back your anger. Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, give me the grace to not be angry and act out my anger. Help me to keep my cool. Amen.
Action point:
Pray that God will help you handle your anger well.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | Jun 5, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Men’s need for respect is almost top of the list. Every man, your husband inclusive need a high dose of it.
Women who know their onions and wish to make a success of this journey called marriage, must learn how to give it.
Respect must be given on the husband terms, not on your own terms.
Some wives even try to resist offering respect to their husbands or only give it when he is well behaved on their terms. Every wife should know that the man is naturally a fighter. You put up a fight, he gives you in doses you never expect.
In the bible, we read about an exceptional, unforgettable lady by name of Abigail. She was so unforgettable that King David couldn’t keep her off her mind until her husband died and he married her. Abigail’s secret virtue was simple. She was respectful.
She knows how to use her words to encourage in a very respectful way. In her conversation with David when Nabal, Abigail’s husband acted foolishly, she called him ‘Lord’ fourteen times.
I mean that is huge. She kept calling him ‘lord’. She even prophesied about David becoming king. I believe when you are giving respectful encouragement, God will even put prophecies in your mouth like normal conversations.
The world is already full of discouraging words, which your husband has heard all day long. He needs to come home, to a haven, a resting place of peace where the wife showers him with positive words.
Let every woman on this platform make a new commitment to be the number one cheerleader and encourager of her husband. Don’t worry about the words to use, God will honor your commitment and give you utterance.
And I believe your husband will see your efforts and also appreciate it. But if he doesn’t, don’t worry, God is a rewarder and He will reward you.
You can ask your husband to tell you in what ways you need to show respect to him. What are the things you do that are disrespectful to him and what are the little gestures you can do that mean a lot of respect to him?
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am my husband’s best encourager.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, I ask for wisdom to know the right words to use that show respect to my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Eph 5:23 (MSG) The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray for your spouse
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
2 Samuel 5
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Jun 5, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 2 minutes
One basic ingredient that makes relationships work out is understanding.
Even after the will of God is known and you are sure this person is God’s perfect will for you, you still have to live to understanding each other.
Understanding is like the Space Suit the astronauts wear to make them survive in space. The atmospheric condition in space requires a special outfit that will sustain them there.
Here on earth you can survive with your tuxedo suit but not in the space.
It is therefore imperative for people in relationships to seek after understanding.
First the understanding of the relationship from God’s perspective and then seeking to understand yourselves.
Little wonder the Bible says in
Pro 4:7
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
God is telling you, get wisdom, now that you have gotten engaged, get understanding.
Without understanding and wisdom, the courtship becomes like a court where there are always arguments, criticisms, being judgmental, and the likes.
To understand yourselves you have to have basic knowledge of your temperamental differences, man and woman differences, background differences, and the personality uniqueness of each other.
For us when we were courting back then in the early nineties, once we read the book on temperament by Tim LaHaye, our level of understanding increased.
Things that used to get us angry before simply didn’t anymore because now we could understand the reason behind certain behaviors.
Now, it wasn’t that we explained away our weaknesses and character flaws, we confronted ourselves but with love and respect.
The understanding we gained just gave us another perspective helping us to see each other from a better viewpoint.
Really, love is spelt understanding.
You cannot love who or what you don’t understand.
Understanding makes it easier for you to love.
You don’t love on your own terms, you love on God’s terms and on the other persons terms.
1Co 13:4
Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
Love basically is patient and kind.
Without understanding, you can’t be patient and kind with your lover.
May God grant you understanding in understanding your loved one in Jesus name.
May your relationship be blessed in Jesus name.
This week will be fruitful for you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have the spirit of understanding
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Job 32:8 (KJV) But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray for understanding
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Haggai 2
by Sylvester Obinna | Jun 5, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Your actions are important in dealing with anger. Jesus told the disciples to go into the world and share the Good News with all people.
“And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to all creature.” Mark 16:15 KJV
This command is carried out by Christians through evangelism. They move from one place to another telling people about Christ. Now, with the internet all over the place, evangelism has moved from physically moving about to just pressing a button to disseminate a message worldwide. What this means is that your actions are not just about you; they are also about Christ.
Imagine someone says something nasty to you and quickly, you reply to them with much the same words or actions they meted out to you. What if the other person isn’t a Christian? Or a baby Christian? How do you think they will think of you?
“Oh, and he is a Christian.”
“He says he is born-again; look at his actions.”
“His parents are pastors.”
“He is a member of the choir.”
These are some of the thoughts that would cross their minds. These thoughts are judging you (your actions) as a Christian, because you are supposed to show Christ in your actions. Yes, people will push you to do or say things you wouldn’t do normally, but you still have to remember that you are a light that points others to Christ. Your actions matter!
May you receive the strength to hold back and let Christ be revealed through you. Amen.
Before you respond in anger again, remember that your actions matter… and that you are representing God on earth. I pray that your actions will always show forth Christ.
Prayer:
Lord, Jesus, make me a continual light guiding people to you. Help me to resist the urge to lash out in anger. Help me to take charge of my actions. In your mighty name, I pray, amen.
Action point:
Pray and meditate on bible verses that show how to tame your tongue.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | Jun 4, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 2 minutes
The issue of in-laws is a very important one. If you have in-laws and they live in the town where you live, proximity should be handled with care.
In laws ought to wish their children the best at least to the best of their knowledge.
I believe it is best before marriage to prepare your heart to accommodate your in-laws in a cordial relationship. It is also good to accept them for who they are.
I am so blessed, when it comes to my in laws. My father, brother and sisters in law are so warm, I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
Both in laws live in another town from us and it’s a blessing (although it has its own disadvantages).
So when some of our married couples begin to say their issues about in-laws I just wonder. Nonetheless, it’s an issue that affects our home and marriage and so has to be addressed.
Here are some helpful hints.
1. It is wrong to discuss your spouse with your parents and in-laws.
2. Getting in touch and staying in touch has to be done by the couple at both ends.
3. If an in-law has to stay with you, it has to be your joint consent. If your spouse is not in agreement, you have to pray about it. Until there is consent, don’t go ahead.
4. If your in-laws need financial support (brother or sister) you should decide together how much you will give.
5. It is your responsibility to send financial support to your parents and in-laws every month or otherwise as the case may be.
6. In the event that a sick parent or in-law has to stay with you, you must give your wife all the support she needs, emotional, physical and financial. Make her comfortable taking care of them.
7. Don’t let any in-law come in between you. You are married and nothing should change that.
8. In case you are parents in waiting, don’t allow the pressures of your in laws to tear you apart.
9. No one should encroach on your privacy. Don’t allow or permit it. You are married to your spouse.
10. You must put your foot down when it comes to protecting your spouse. But you also need the wisdom of God. So make sure you pray for wisdom and God’s help.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have God’s wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray that God strengthens you to make the right decisions
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Hosea 14:4
I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Forgive all that hurt you
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
2nd Samuel 19 – 21
by Sylvester Obinna | Jun 4, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Being calm in the face of anger and thinking about the situation is a great strength you can wield as a child. It’s also a sign that you are maturing into a balanced adult. When a person is saying words that you feel are offensive or carrying out actions that seem to offend you, ask if they are saying the truth. Seeking to know if their words are truthful can help you to understand certain things about yourself.
Giving thoughts to the words or actions of others before reacting or even after doing so helps you look inwards at yourself. You pick out the truths and apply them to your life and start making changes. Don’t look at how they said or did it – yes, it could be harsh, but look at the truth in what they are saying. You should be concerned about how to use the truths in their words and actions to better yourself.
Sometimes you could be the cause of why people do the things they do you. Are you a bully? Do you gossip about your friends? Are you a disloyal friend? Asking yourself such deep questions will lead you to the truth.
Even if you are not the cause of it, still remember to keep your cool and maintain your stand in Christ. There’s nothing to gain by retaliating with a quick outburst. Take a chill pill and let the Spirit of God teach you what to do; He is the Spirit of truth.
Finally, you can always pray to God for the grace to hold back your tongue and think before speaking; and to always speak in line with the truth when you speak.
“Lord, help me control my tongue. Help me be careful about what I say.” Psa. 143:3 ICB
Prayer:
Lord, help me learn from what people say or do to me. Show me where I am the problem. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
Action point:
Take your time to listen when next someone angers you with their words or actions. Listen for the truth.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Jun 4, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Fear is palpable in the air. Bandits and herdsmen are ravaging the land. People in their hundreds are being kidnapped or killed. Covid did its own. A good investment today is to invest in hand sanitizers and nose masks.
In the midst of all these, and as a child of God, here are some questions that need answers from Psalms 91.
1. Where are you dwelling?
Verse1 : He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
The word dwell is important. It means to stay and take permanent residence. His protection over my life and your life is predicated on my proximity to His presence. My vulnerability increases when I stroll away from His presence. When I dabble into unrepentant sins, my protection is no longer guaranteed. Disobedience can be costly.
Thank God for His grace, but shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? You have to dwell. That is the secret of abiding. When you abide, you are protected. When you are entangled with sexual sins, you are no longer in the secret place; you are in an open place, an easy target of the evil one! The more Samson sinned; the more his vulnerability increased. Sin is a destroyer, but His mercy beckons, and it is never too late to make amend.
2. What are you saying?
Verse 2: I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
In the spiritual realm, your mouth is your might. What are you saying? What a man utters can lead him into the gutter. With the mouth, you confess that Jesus is Lord, and your life is altered for good. With the mouth, a man can make commitments to the devil and his soul is sold. Are you speaking faith or verbalizing fear?
Your life will always move in the direction of your words. Learn to speak God’s word always by putting His word in your heart. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. The power of life and death lies in your tongue!
3. Do you know you are delivered?
Verse 3: Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
His provision for your deliverance is not an afterthought. It has been settled. The word, is “SURELY” It is settled. You will not be a victim of kidnap. The snare of the devil is broken, we have escaped.
4. Do you really trust Him? Is His truth your shield and buckler?
Verse 4: He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
His feathers cover you. Those feathers are impenetrable. Do you trust in His everlasting arms to protect you? The word ‘trust” is a strong word. Think about it. Do you really trust Him? It is your trust in Him that delivers the good. Remember how you trusted your mum or your dad when you were little? His truth is His word. That is your shield and buckler. God’s word, studied daily becomes your protection!
5. Have you made the choice of refusing to fear?
Verse 5 & 6 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day, Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
Thou shall not be afraid…there will be things that will scare the life out of you, there will be things that will shake the foundation of your faith, there will be life-threatening issues that will cause you to sweat in an air-conditioned room, there will be happenstances that will cause your heart to palpitate, there will be news that will unsettle you and seek to break you down…but in all of that, the instruction is very clear, thou shall not be afraid! It is a choice you have to make because your response will make all the difference!
Nighttime: There is a terror
Day time: There is an arrow that flieth..
Darkest time: There is a pestilence that walketh…
Brightest time or noonday: There is a destruction that wasteth…
In all of this, you must not be afraid because
At all times: There is God in heaven, there is Jesus with me, and there is the Spirit of God living in me!
The terror, the arrow, the pestilence, and the destruction are all invalidated over my life, because of the Holy One of Israel, the Lord of Hosts is His name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am not afraid. God has got me covered. There is no fear in me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, deliver me from the terror by night and put me where there is no fear
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Ps 91:1 [KJV] He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Decide to dwell in the secret place where there is no fear
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Ps 91
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Jun 3, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 3 minutes
1. I will pursue my career, it is my life, don’t hinder me
Some married couples see their spouses as hindrances to fulfilling their careers, dreams, and desires. This is rather dysfunctional because, in God’s idea of marriage, your spouse is supposed to be an added advantage to the success of your career and dreams. No wonder the Bible says,’ One will chase a thousand, two will put ten thousand to flight’. This is a good deal, don’t you think? Your partner is supposed to push you ahead 10,000 times more. When you begin to feel otherwise, something is definitely wrong.
Maintaining balance between your career and relationship is one of the greatest achievements you can have in life.
2. My spouse cannot fully satisfy my needs, I need some other emotional affairs.
Well, in the agenda of God, your spouse is not supposed to play God and completely meet all your needs – that’s why ultimately your relationship with God is still your most vital relationship. Nonetheless, you do not need any form of an emotional affair, especially with any opposite sex. Your love relationship with your spouse should be such that you are satisfied and contented with the one God gave you needing no emotional gratification from any other.
For singles, this lie can open you up to double dating and emotional affairs, which are dangerous habits, because it is the rehearsal for extra marital affairs. You are supposed to be faithful, even emotionally.
3. Being vulnerable is not the best, you need to have some self defence mechanism
Usually, any self-defence mechanism that is not from the spirit of God will eventually lead to regret. God wants us to follow him and to do that wholly. Different people develop different defence mechanisms. Some don’t share their deepest longings; desires or aspirations, thinking if they do, this vital information will be used against them.
Some keep extended family issues away from their spouse, saying, ‘it’s my family issue, it’s none of your business.’ This is very defective because once you are married; you no longer have two families but one big family.
4. I need to have some people I get advice from without my spouse’s knowledge.
I am not saying you should not seek counsel. Remember in the midst of godly counsel, there is direction. However, the counsel is qualified – it has to be godly. That the Bible says ‘godly’ means there will be ungodly counsels too. One major characteristic of godly counsel is that it will seek to lead you more towards God and a well-balanced relationship. If this is the aim, then it should not be secretive, kept away from your spouse.
Any relationship your spouse does not know of or approve of will eventually lead to negative repercussions.
5. Little lies in your relationship are inevitable.
Some people feel lies are part and parcel of any relationship. Some even say ladies are wired to believe lies, they prefer lies to truth. Well, this is an ungodly myth that is a wrong seed in your marriage or relationship. It will eventually yield unpleasant fruits. There are no little or big lies, white, grey, or black lies. A lie is nothing but a lie. One degree away from the truth is a lie. Sincerity becomes a priceless ingredient in the making of a godly marriage or relationship.
I pray that God will help us more and continue to open our eyes of understanding to know Him more and understand His ways better.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
The counsel of God is my delight. I have the wisdom to stay away from dangerous habits.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray that God will help you to stay on the path of truth and prevent you from falling into these dangerous habits.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient:all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any (1 Corinthians 6:12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Take an inventory of your life and make amends
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
1 Cor 6
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Jun 3, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Married couples, your marriage vows are very sacred and needs to be kept as such. Extramarital affairs should be avoided at all costs. Marriage should be held in high esteem and the bed must remain undefiled.
We should always make sure we fulfill our roles as married couples. Marriage is for companionship, where both parties stay and stick with each other no matter what.
The chief culprit in developing extra-marital affairs is when either of the party is not a real companion. Real companionship is not just about pictures all over social media.
Issues in marriage don’t have to be left unaddressed. These issues start like ordinary and minor issues. The devil does not attack us at full force all at once. He introduces his attacks in subtle ways.
Every married couple needs a marriage counselor or a mentor, where these issues are addressed.
Extramarital affairs start when we try to meet marital needs outside of the sanctity of marriage. You should never be close to any opposite sex other than your wife or husband.
An attempt to do that is looking for trouble. Don’t ever put yourself into a tight corner. The devil usually set up certain atmosphere for adultery.
I know there are different situations. I have heard of rape cases or situations where the lady was drugged. That’s why it’s good to pray and commit our ways into God’s hands and be led by the Holy Spirit.
The truth is that extramarital relationships are not worth it. The Bible says that stolen waters is sweet but in the end, it’s like gravel in the mouth. Work on your own marriage no matter what.
I know that there are some extreme cases where the husband or wife is so impossible and there’s just a yearning for love and companionship. Just hold on, pray, seek help and trust God will sort it out rather than seek pleasures outside. You will yet smile again.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will not have extramarital affairs
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Father help me to stand faithful
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Psa 86:11 (KJV) Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Avoid all forms of extramarital affairs
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR
2 Samuel 16 – 18
by Sylvester Obinna | Jun 3, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
The first thing you want to do when someone says something bad or hurtful to you is to quickly reply. Well, that’s just you being human and everyone feels that way too. You are no exception; no natural self wants to turn the other cheek.
Rather than allowing your natural self to take over, why not just take a moment to calm down. Take some breaths if you remember to and slowly leave the place or just keep quiet. Turn the other cheek.
This doesn’t make you a fool or weak in any way. Rather, it shows maturity and that you have the Spirit of God working in you. Yeah, the fruit of the Spirit is working in you. One of such fruits is the fruit of love.
Out of love for God, you would rather not say something bad back to the person and instead, just walk away or keep quiet. If it’s a physical situation, you don’t retaliate, but rather turn the other cheek like Jesus said to do:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, don’t stand up against an evil person. If someone slaps you on the right cheek, then turn and let him slap the other cheek too.
Matthew 5:38 – 39 ICB
Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean you physically do that. It’s just a figure of speech that means you don’t act upon what the person said or did. You choose to obey God than man.
It can be hard to do, especially if there are others there who are goading to hit or speak back at the person. With practice and prayers to God for help, you will learn how to keep your peace; you will learn how to turn the other cheek.
May the Lord bless you with a spirit of love for Him. Amen
Prayer:
Lord, help me to be calm in situations that could get me angry. Teach me how to quickly let go of my anger. Teach me how to turn the other cheek. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Jun 2, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Gen 2:25 (AMP) And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have been married for three years. Blessed with two vibrant princes, their family seems ideal, observing it from the external.
They seem to have everything going for them, good jobs, good pay, nice car, wonderful apartment, yearly vacation, and more goodies anybody would pray for…except for one thing…Mrs. Johnson is unhappy and her energy for “family” is fast ebbing out.
The only reason she is unhappy is because of her handsome husband, the man has changed! Or so it seemed. He doesn’t talk again, he internalizes, makes decisions alone, and acts like his wife has no brain!
This treatment, deliberate or not, can be debilitating for the woman in the house with attendant consequences that are as varied as they could be dangerous.
Now can I tell you in one swoop why keeping secrets within marriage can be very unwise?
It is just this: There is no secret you keep that will not be found out.
It is better for you to open up yourself rather than for your loved one to find out. When they find out themselves, it will erode trust. The devil will capitalise on that, harass their minds and tell them there are more things you are keeping away. Once this happens, it affects everything, even your prayers!
Take a look:
Mar 4:22 (KJV)
For there is nothing hid, which shall not be manifested; neither was any thing kept secret, but that it should come abroad.
So, it will be brought open eventually, you wouldn’t want him or her to be the one bringing it to open!
Why would a guy marry a lady only for her to find out later that he already had a child somewhere? I feel that is unfair, really.
Why would couples hide phone messages from each other? I cannot fathom that! Really!
You are married, for God’s sake!
There are some things we might have picked up from cultural affinities, but culture is not scripture!
There are some things we might have picked up from parents, but observation is not revelation!
Why would you build a house in town without your wife’s knowledge? You see there is a difference between marriage and bondage!
Your spouse is given unto you to help you, unless you want to say God is lying, and you know that is not possible.
When you hide stuffs from each other, you have snuffed out the life out of your helper! He or she would become a frustration, almost a hell rather than help! That will not be your portion!
She is going to definitely react to that, and there are some reactions that can be far too much that the whole family is set on edge!
It is even more terrible to now see that what you don’t discuss with your spouse at home is freely discussed with some lover out there!
Yes, I know there could be the possibility of being disappointed by your loved one when you trusted her with some information in the past, but you see marriage is about learning and growing together.
The solution is not always to move away, hide or cut off from the one you are in covenant with but to grow together.
Couples need to understand that the information you are entrusted with should not be found out there with some close friends or even your parents.
Do not allow anybody to put a wedge between you and your loved one!
Eph 4:25 (MSG) What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.
Be open to each other. Don’t hide things from each other. It will bring healing. It will bring freedom. It will erase suspicions. It will build trust.
Yes, I know there might be some difficulty in opening up, not because you want to keep secrets but because that is the way you have been brought up or probably what you observed from your parents. That can be valid.
But its validity is not an excuse in any way. What you must strive to do is to get better everyday, keep learning and keep making adjustments in other to have a good life and be able to raise a great family.
Men, God has entrusted a lot of responsibility into your hands and you cannot fail God. God has made you the head that the whole family might see through you because the eyes are located in the head. You are to give them light and lead them in God’s way.
One day, you will actually become a grand dad! And you really want to be proud of the dynasty that God will raise through you if Christ tarries.
Your role as a man or husband is an assignment from God. Lives are entrusted into your hands and I pray for you this morning that you will not fail God.
Sincerity is not stupidity. Being open does not translate to vulnerability. Being open is strength because it will strengthen your marriage!
Keeping secrets can be a strength when it is not kept from your spouse.
This is how to know if there is a big problem: You can keep secrets from your spouse, but you cannot keep it from those outside! Now, that really needs some attention and counseling!
I pray that God will open your eyes the more and help you to make necessary adjustments in Jesus’ name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am open to my loved one. I will not hide things from him/her
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
I receive grace to be sincere
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Mar 4:22 (MSG) We’re not keeping secrets, we’re telling them; we’re not hiding things, we’re bringing them out into the open.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Read books on how to be a good spouse
BIBLE READING THROUGH THE YEAR
2 Samuel 13-15
by Sylvester Obinna | Jun 2, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
I’m sure you have felt angry before. The feeling you have inside your heart when someone or something gets under your skin; that’s anger. You feel all the blood pumping inside your heart, ready to release some very harsh words through your mouth and actions. When it’s a person, you want to say bad words to them or harm them back. If it’s a situation you might likely scream out or yell or hit the wall or something.
Everyone feels anger. It’s a human emotion. Even God that isn’t human feels anger. Jesus felt angry when He saw how the people turned the temple into a market place.
But it was almost time for the Jewish Passover Feast. So Jesus went to Jerusalem. In the Temple he found men selling cattle, sheep, and doves. He saw others sitting at tables, exchanging money. Jesus made a whip out of cords. Then he forced all these men, with the sheep and cattle, to leave the Temple. He turned over the tables and scattered the money of the men who were exchanging it. Then he said to those who were selling pigeons, “Take these things out of here! Don’t make my Father’s house a place for buying and selling!”
John 2:13-16 ICB
Anger isn’t necessarily bad on its own. It’s what you do or say when you’re angry that is the major issue with getting angry.
Jesus spoke about anger in the bible. He showed how to not let your anger remain in your heart overnight. If your sibling offends you in the morning and you remain angry at them till the next day, that’s bad. That’s what Jesus was talking about
You will face some situations in life that are beyond your control and get angry because of this. People will do or say stuff that you don’t like to you or someone close to you. That’s just the way life is.
In this series, we will be looking at how you, as a child, can and should handle anger.
I pray that God will give His Holy Spirit to minister to you. in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, help me deal with every spirit of anger in me. Amen.
Action plan:
Have you ever noticed how easily you get angry?
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Jun 2, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 3 minutes
There are important things to note in the area of falling in love as singles. I will share briefly five of them.
1. Relationship or marriage does not succeed just because you are a child of God
Yes, and I mean every word of that statement. Just because you are a child of God or you can speak in tongues does not mean you understand how to accommodate another human being in your life!
You can be a child of God and still be ignorant of the principles to live by. It is therefore important to note that going after knowledge and self-development is important. Make it a commitment to do yourself that good. Decide to improve yourself before falling in love.
You want to get married in two years; the question is what books are you reading in that regard? What is your temperament? Someone was once asked what her temperament was and she said, do you mean all those “sardine tins?” Well, it is not “sardine,” it’s sanguine! Relationship and marriage succeed because you work at it and you work the godly principles.
2. Being in love with a person does not translate to direction from God
You can fall in love with someone and yet it is not God’s plan for your life. The direction of your feelings and emotions is not necessarily a direction from God. Yes, God can use your desires to lead you and that is why I often tell people, make sure you pray before you fall in love! Once you are in love before praying, it can really be a difficult time hearing God because your emotions are involved. There is a difference between asking God for direction and asking Him to bless your decision.
3. You will fall in love with whomever you spend time
If you don’t want to become emotionally connected to that person, don’t spend time with such person. You know that his wife has travelled, and then you go and spend hours with him regularly? Doing what? You see, the flames of emotions are going to be fanned and if you are not careful, you are going to be getting involved in what you will regret later. A married person is a “No Go” area, so why waste your time, emotions and energy on relationships that God will never approve of? Why delay what God wants to do in your life with what you feel like doing?
4. Strife will stifle you and bitterness will not make you better
If there is anything you should avoid like Ebola, it is strife and bitterness. It will practically cause things to be grounded. Stay away from such, so that God’s blessing can be yours at the maximum.
5. You need God’s favour in this new month
Connect yourself to God’s covenant of favour! Favour will announce you this month! That favour of God will introduce you to new circles of relationships that will advance your life. You will not struggle this month! My God and my father will surround you with His mercy. Your husband will locate you. You will find your wife. Every spirit of delay is cursed and terminated in your life. You will carry your own children. Fruitfulness is your portion. You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. God will smile on you. He will turn His countenance upon you. He will bless you financially. Things will fall in pleasant places for you in the coming year. You will get that job. That contract will be yours!
And of Naphtali he said, O Naphtali, satisfied with favour, and full with the blessing of the Lord: possess thou the west and the south. (Deuteronomy 33:23 KJV)
You will be satisfied with favour! You will be treated well. You will not be cheated. You will advance. God will fill your mouth with laughter. He will heal every hurt and wound and give you a double blessing for every trouble. Get ready for a great time ahead in God, it is your time, it is your season! It is your season of falling in love!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
My relationship is blessed. I know what to do in the area of falling in love.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Ask for divine wisdom in the area of falling in love.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Deut 33:23 (NLT)
Moses said this about the tribe of Naphtali: “O Naphtali, you are rich in favor and full of the LORD’s blessings; may you possess the west and the south
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Read books on relationship and marriage
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Deut 33
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Jun 1, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Happy New Month to all KHC Partners and members. This month, the angel over this commission will avail for you in Jesus name.
The devil is a liar; you will get to God’s destination for your life
The devil only fights what he fears! Contrary to the common belief, that something is wrong with you when you have many challenges, it may actually be the opposite.
It may actually be that you have so many challenges because all is well with you!
Let’s take a look at Joseph first.
If it were to be today’s world, wouldn’t you want to recommend Joseph for a high-grade deliverance session? Wouldn’t you conclude that the man is cursed and the spirit of retrogression is fighting him? Wouldn’t you want to say that out of all his father’s son, he was the most unlucky, the black sheep of the family, the one that was rejected and hated, and so on?
But you need to understand that he was actually walking with God!
How can someone be sold into slavery and be moved to a strange town by his brothers? Wouldn’t you say that the household wickedness of his father’s house has finished him? Then he became a slave in Potiphar’s house but didn’t last long! He was soon in the prison. Was that not a retrogressive and stubborn demonic attack?
What about David? Anointed as a king in his teenage years but only sat on the throne at the age of thirty. Was that not a gang up of demonic delay against his destiny? Saul fought him to his last breath. Was that not royal hatred against him? Wouldn’t he need his head washed?
What I want you to see this morning, is that nothing was wrong with those guys, it was just a path they needed to pass to get to where God is taking them. You see all they went through was a passing phase and not a parking space!
Joseph could have missed it if he got depressed along the way but he kept on helping people and interpreting their dreams and one day, his gift made a way for him. David could have lost it with a bad attitude to King Saul, but he behaved himself wisely and he would not stop praising God!
So the most important thing in your going through to getting through is your attitude and your ability to refuse to react. It is your ability to refuse to park in your passing phase.
Nothing is wrong with you this morning. That is the word of the Lord to you!
I want to assure you this morning, that if you can do the following, your victory is guaranteed.
1. Stay away from sins, especially sexual sins
Joseph ran away from Mrs. Portiphar and refused to commit adultery! If he had compromised, he would have interrupted God’s counsel over his life
But Pastor, I already made mistakes. It doesn’t matter, if you can make up your mind from this point on, God will forgive and forget and He would see you as if you never made all those mistakes! That is where His grace comes in!
2. Forgive easily
Joseph was a forgiver. He refused to become bitter. That was evident when he eventually met his brothers. He was hurt, but he forgave!
3. Keep helping people
While he was in the prison, the last thing he should be doing was helping others, but he kept on helping people and one of the persons he helped remembered him later and became the person God used to organize him out of the prison! I say to somebody this morning, God will organize you into royalty!
4. Never retaliate or fight back
David never fought back at King Saul, and because of that God was there for him even when he made mistakes that could have cost his life.
5. Learn to praise God always
David was a crazy and unrepentant God-Praiser! It showed in everything he did, and God was always with him.
The list is not exhaustive, but if you can do the above, you will come out strong. That issue will not have the last say in your life. Your baby will come! I curse the spirit of barrenness in your life this morning! Your victory is sure. You will get married. God will honor His word in your life. Don’t back out on God, because you are actually close to what God wants to do in your life.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am a God praiser. I praise my way to victory. I will not park in my passing phase.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Oh God, give me the strength to navigate through the passing phase.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Gen 39:2 And the Lord was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man, and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Carry out the above steps
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Gen 39
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Jun 1, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Yes, we need to take foreplay to another level. It is very possible to enjoy the other room in marriage
Foreplay is so relaxing, soothing, and rejuvenating. After such a tiring day, there is nothing as good as good love-making preceded by good foreplay.
I like the fact that it is therapeutic in nature. The release of hormones makes it a good medicine and it is also a good exercise.
I know some married couples don’t have it as good. So I would like to address both husband and wife.
First, to those who are not really enjoying or having it regularly.
Whatever issue is causing you not to have regular love-making is demonic and an attack from the pit of hell. You cannot be married and be sleeping in different rooms. It’s simply unacceptable.
Such things as he snores, she snores, he has body odour or she has body odour are not enough reasons to abandon your spouse. What matters is that you are married, you two have become one flesh and nothing should separate you.
It is abnormal for a guy not to have it with his wife when he is not sick. For a man, it is more of releasing tension. Without regularity, he can’t really function as he should.
So see whatever is preventing you from having it in marriage as an attack. Address it ruthlessly. Don’t say you can handle it or you don’t care. Divorce and adultery are the consequences of such neglect.
If you have to plan it and do like a timetable, do it. The fire must never go down in the bedroom. When the fire goes down in the bedroom, the whole home catches fire.
It should be regular. For a very busy couple at least once or twice a week is okay.
To those of us who are enjoying it, we should try to improve. There is always room for improvement. Find creative ways to satisfy each other.
Take your foreplay to another level. Spend time with each other. Explore each other’s bodies. A healthy love life makes you more productive, more relaxed, and more focused. You will be more coordinated.
Create the right atmosphere that will make you enjoy yourself. If you can get away, plan it out. Go to a hotel or a resort center just by yourself. Just like we do sometimes. Leave the children with someone reliable and take time out to enjoy yourselves. When you come back, you will be refreshed and more relaxed than before you went.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I give myself to my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help us in this area of life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
1Co 6:16 (MSG) (paraphrased)There’s more to it than mere skin on skin. It is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Plan it and enjoy it
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Psalms 28, 55
by Sylvester Obinna | Jun 1, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Another sensible thing to do as you go about achieving your dream is to read up about the people who have done what you want to do.
These people may be famous or not but they have achieved what you want to. When you read and/or study about their lives, what they went through, where they lived, how they did what they did and the rest, you are learning some great lessons from their lives. You see their mistakes, fears, habits, and more. These are great tools for you to use for your own journey of fulfilling your dream.
Reading about them helps you know how to avoid some mistakes they made. That’s the best way to learn and grow. Using their tips and tricks will help to speed up the learning process for you and you will also achieve the same results they did, and your dream will be made manifest.
Look at the story of the prophets Elijah and Elisha in the bible. Elijah was a powerful prophet in the bible. He declared that there wouldn’t be any rain and there wasn’t (1Kings 17:1-2). It was only after he said there would be rain that it rained (1Kings 18:41-46). He was also the one that called down fire from heaven to burn the wet animal sacrifice when he challenged the fake prophets of fake gods to a contest (1 Kings 18:1-40).
Elisha saw all the mighty things Elijah did and asked for a double portion of his anointing and he received it (and it helped him fulfill his own dream). Why? Because he understood the power that Elijah had. Just like when you read up on these people because you know how much they have achieved in their field. You need this kind of power.
May God give you the right people to follow. Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, lead me to men and women whose lives are a mirror of your grace and goodness. May I learn what I need to learn from them to fulfill my dream. Amen.
Action plan:
Read books about great men and women in the field you are pursuing. You can also read up on people who have encountered and overcome great physical, medical, spiritual, and financial challenges. Ordinary people who have overcome so much. Then apply it to your dream.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev. Sophia Okunowo | May 31, 2021 | Couples
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Have you ever been unresponsive to your husband’s playful advances? I have been several times. That was before I learned that part of my role as a wife is to be responsive to him and to be his playmate every time and any time.
Do I respond every time? No. I still consider my husband playful and don’t join, thankfully we have three boys who can play with him.
My husband sometimes considers me as being too serious. I never grew up with a sanguine in the house so having fun was not a regular thing. We were quiet in our family and our idea of fun was little laughter here and there.
My husband is not so much of a Sanguine but his Choleric tendencies have made him an extrovert at least to me. He seems quiet when he wants to but when he is in his rhyme, he really wants to talk and play.
Sometimes he wants to play, sing *winks*, be funny, talks, disturb me and all the rest. He is just full of energy and he wants to release some.
The one thing that men don’t leave behind from being boys is playing and having fun. They love to have fun and as their wives, you have to learn to have fun with them.
You may be pushing your husband out to look for a playmate. You must learn to be jovial. Be responsive to his jokes. Laugh with him. Laugh at him. Your role as his wife is not to stop him from playing, it is to play with him.
Don’t stop him from watching his football games or any other games, join him in. Don’t be too busy for him. I know you have a lot to do especially when you don’t have help. The idea is to let your husband occupy the first place and every other thing will find its place.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am my husband’s playmate
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Help me Lord to cast my care upon you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Eph 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Be responsive to your husband’s play and jokes.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Psalms 25
by Sylvester Obinna | May 31, 2021 | Children
Reading Time: 2 minutes
So you have discovered your passion for something and are acquiring some form of education in that area and have also not quit, what is next on the line? Well, the next thing to do is to start acting out your dreams. Act!
You have learnt some art principles in art school – start to use them in your works. Let them show in your paintings or sculptures or whatever form of art you are creating.
You love to cook? Start using the skills you have learnt at culinary school at home. Cook something at home. Act out your dream.
Do not wait till you graduate or finish your training before you start to practice. Practicing is like having tests and exams at school. It’s to test how much you have learnt or are learning.
When David faced Goliath on the battlefield, it wasn’t his first time on the battlefield. He was already battling lions and bears in the forest while shepherding flocks daily. He already had practiced before the big day. You see? Learn to act.
Goliath was just another bear or lion in the eyes of David. And he believed that if God could successfully allow him to kill lions and bears, who was Goliath that God wouldn’t allow him to defeat, especially since the giant was mocking and teasing the Israelites. (Read 1 Sam. 17:1-51)
Practicing is for measuring how much you have learnt and not to mock or ridicule you.
Through practice, you will discover so much about yourself and what you are learning. I yet say again, “Act out your dream.”
One final thought about practicing – it prepares you for battle.
I pray that the Lord will equip you daily as you practice. Amen.
Prayer:
Father, help me to continue to practice the skills I have learnt. Help me to act. Help me to discover my strengths and weaknesses in Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan:
Do all your practices. Do all your school assignments, take all tests and exams.
Read yesterday’s article here
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | May 31, 2021 | Singles
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Our generation is beleaguered with so much pressure that believers are even compromising heavily, and yet the truth is that God will not lower or change his standard because of the peculiarity of our generation or the pressures of our environment. God’s word remains forever. Love differs from lust.
Look at the following verse:
Eph 4:17 KJV
This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,’
The Spirit of God writing through Paul here says, as children of God, we cannot walk as the unbelievers walk. There has to be a distinguishing. We cannot be lumped together. Our light must shine in the midst of darkness. We must stand out. The life of God in us will not allow us to live carelessly.
Message translation says we cannot move with the crowd!
Eph 4:17 MSG
And so I insist–and God backs me up on this–that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd.
You as a child of God cannot flow with the tide. Having done all, you’ve got to stand, unmoved, unshaken and unyielded to the grip of iniquity.
Verse 20 says:
Eph 4:20 KJV
But ye have not so learned Christ;
That is not what we learn about Christ when we gave our life to Christ. At what point did we accommodate the devil’s antics into the program of our lives? At what point did we think that as a child of God, you can be dating three people at a time? At what point did we somehow believe that God does not mind us having emotional affairs that our spouses are not aware of?
At what point did we start combining a life of fornication with a life of leading others in worship? At what point did pastors think they can go free with sleeping with naïve church members because they are anointed? That is not how we learned Christ!
Take a look more at the scriptures:
Eph 5:1 MSG
Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents.
Amplified version says to be imitators of God. How do we do that when we cannot see Him? We watch what He does by watching what He has done in His word. As we read God’s word, we learn His ways and we understand how we are supposed to live here.
Let’s look at the next verse:
Eph 5:2 MSG
Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
You’ve got to learn a life of love and not a life of lust. God did not love in order to get something from us! The moment you say you are in love with a person and then you want something you can get, either money or fun, you have moved from love into lust. People ask me, how can I know whether he or she loves me? That is the answer right there!
Love wants to improve the other person’s life, not deplete it. If you are in a relationship with a person, and your Christian life goes down, watch it. God will not lead you into a relationship where all you have is the anguish of the soul, a life iniquity, and a life full of lust. You cannot tell me you love a lady whom you have impregnated thrice and paid for abortions. That is not love!
Look at the next verse:
Eph 5:3 MSG
Don’t allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed.
The moment you get involved in some perversion; that is no longer love. It’s lust. How can two believers who are not married be compromising habitually? That is no longer love! If the guys end up in bullying greed, always having his way, and even quoting scripture to justify a sinful lifestyle, that is no longer love.
Let’s conclude with the next verse:
Eph 5:4 MSG
Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, Christians have better uses for language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.
As children of God, you should have better uses of your mouth than gossip. Don’t join some others to tear apart your leaders after a church service. Something is not quite right with that. Stop tearing apart your Pastor’s wife.
The scripture advises, don’t talk dirty or silly. Why? That is the same mouth you are supposed to use to confess your way into what you want to possess.
Dirty and silly talk doesn’t fit our style. You cannot be using the ‘F” word and tell me God is okay with that! That is not our style. Our style doesn’t permit punctuating every word with the ‘F” word or with words like ‘Shit!’ Why? Thanksgiving is our dialect! You see it right there. All these things matter!
Conclusively, Amplified version puts it this way:
Eph 5:4 AMP
Let there be no filthiness (obscenity, indecency) nor foolish and sinful (silly and corrupt) talk, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting or becoming; but instead voice your thankfulness [to God].
Call God to help you and cleanse you if you have the need to, He is always there to bail you out, if you make up your mind.
Selah!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I love appropriately. I am not filled with lust
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray that God should cleanse you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Ephesians 4:17 (CSB) “Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their thoughts.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Use your mouth wisely
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Eph 4
