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1. I will pursue my career, it is my life, don’t hinder me

Some married couples see their spouses as hindrances to fulfilling their careers, dreams, and desires. This is rather dysfunctional because, in God’s idea of marriage, your spouse is supposed to be an added advantage to the success of your career and dreams. No wonder the Bible says,’ One will chase a thousand, two will put ten thousand to flight’. This is a good deal, don’t you think? Your partner is supposed to push you ahead 10,000 times more. When you begin to feel otherwise, something is definitely wrong.

Maintaining balance between your career and relationship is one of the greatest achievements you can have in life.

2. My spouse cannot fully satisfy my needs, I need some other emotional affairs.

Well, in the agenda of God, your spouse is not supposed to play God and completely meet all your needs – that’s why ultimately your relationship with God is still your most vital relationship. Nonetheless, you do not need any form of an emotional affair, especially with any opposite sex. Your love relationship with your spouse should be such that you are satisfied and contented with the one God gave you needing no emotional gratification from any other.

For singles, this lie can open you up to double dating and emotional affairs, which are dangerous habits, because it is the rehearsal for extra marital affairs. You are supposed to be faithful, even emotionally.

3. Being vulnerable is not the best, you need to have some self defence mechanism

Usually, any self-defence mechanism that is not from the spirit of God will eventually lead to regret. God wants us to follow him and to do that wholly. Different people develop different defence mechanisms. Some don’t share their deepest longings; desires or aspirations, thinking if they do, this vital information will be used against them.

Some keep extended family issues away from their spouse, saying, ‘it’s my family issue, it’s none of your business.’ This is very defective because once you are married; you no longer have two families but one big family.

4. I need to have some people I get advice from without my spouse’s knowledge.

I am not saying you should not seek counsel. Remember in the midst of godly counsel, there is direction. However, the counsel is qualified – it has to be godly. That the Bible says ‘godly’ means there will be ungodly counsels too. One major characteristic of godly counsel is that it will seek to lead you more towards God and a well-balanced relationship. If this is the aim, then it should not be secretive, kept away from your spouse.
Any relationship your spouse does not know of or approve of will eventually lead to negative repercussions.

5. Little lies in your relationship are inevitable.

Some people feel lies are part and parcel of any relationship. Some even say ladies are wired to believe lies, they prefer lies to truth. Well, this is an ungodly myth that is a wrong seed in your marriage or relationship. It will eventually yield unpleasant fruits. There are no little or big lies, white, grey, or black lies. A lie is nothing but a lie. One degree away from the truth is a lie. Sincerity becomes a priceless ingredient in the making of a godly marriage or relationship.

I pray that God will help us more and continue to open our eyes of understanding to know Him more and understand His ways better.

The counsel of God is my delight. I have the wisdom to stay away from dangerous habits.

Pray that God will help you to stay on the path of truth and prevent you from falling into these dangerous habits.

All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient:all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any (1 Corinthians 6:12 KJV)

Take an inventory of your life and make amends

1 Cor 6