Reading Time: 4 minutes

Gen 2:25 (AMP) And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.

Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have been married for three years. Blessed with two vibrant princes, their family seems ideal, observing it from the external.

They seem to have everything going for them, good jobs, good pay, nice car, wonderful apartment, yearly vacation, and more goodies anybody would pray for…except for one thing…Mrs. Johnson is unhappy and her energy for “family” is fast ebbing out.

The only reason she is unhappy is because of her handsome husband, the man has changed! Or so it seemed. He doesn’t talk again, he internalizes, makes decisions alone, and acts like his wife has no brain!

This treatment, deliberate or not, can be debilitating for the woman in the house with attendant consequences that are as varied as they could be dangerous.

Now can I tell you in one swoop why keeping secrets within marriage can be very unwise?

It is just this: There is no secret you keep that will not be found out.

It is better for you to open up yourself rather than for your loved one to find out. When they find out themselves, it will erode trust. The devil will capitalise on that, harass their minds and tell them there are more things you are keeping away. Once this happens, it affects everything, even your prayers!

Take a look:

Mar 4:22 (KJV)
For there is nothing hid, which shall not be manifested; neither was any thing kept secret, but that it should come abroad.

So, it will be brought open eventually, you wouldn’t want him or her to be the one bringing it to open!

Why would a guy marry a lady only for her to find out later that he already had a child somewhere? I feel that is unfair, really.

Why would couples hide phone messages from each other? I cannot fathom that! Really!

You are married, for God’s sake!

There are some things we might have picked up from cultural affinities, but culture is not scripture!

There are some things we might have picked up from parents, but observation is not revelation!

Why would you build a house in town without your wife’s knowledge? You see there is a difference between marriage and bondage!

Your spouse is given unto you to help you, unless you want to say God is lying, and you know that is not possible.

When you hide stuffs from each other, you have snuffed out the life out of your helper! He or she would become a frustration, almost a hell rather than help! That will not be your portion!

She is going to definitely react to that, and there are some reactions that can be far too much that the whole family is set on edge!

It is even more terrible to now see that what you don’t discuss with your spouse at home is freely discussed with some lover out there!

Yes, I know there could be the possibility of being disappointed by your loved one when you trusted her with some information in the past, but you see marriage is about learning and growing together.

The solution is not always to move away, hide or cut off from the one you are in covenant with but to grow together.

Couples need to understand that the information you are entrusted with should not be found out there with some close friends or even your parents.

Do not allow anybody to put a wedge between you and your loved one!

Eph 4:25 (MSG) What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.

Be open to each other. Don’t hide things from each other. It will bring healing. It will bring freedom. It will erase suspicions. It will build trust.

Yes, I know there might be some difficulty in opening up, not because you want to keep secrets but because that is the way you have been brought up or probably what you observed from your parents. That can be valid.

But its validity is not an excuse in any way. What you must strive to do is to get better everyday, keep learning and keep making adjustments in other to have a good life and be able to raise a great family.

Men, God has entrusted a lot of responsibility into your hands and you cannot fail God. God has made you the head that the whole family might see through you because the eyes are located in the head. You are to give them light and lead them in God’s way.

One day, you will actually become a grand dad! And you really want to be proud of the dynasty that God will raise through you if Christ tarries.

Your role as a man or husband is an assignment from God. Lives are entrusted into your hands and I pray for you this morning that you will not fail God.

Sincerity is not stupidity. Being open does not translate to vulnerability. Being open is strength because it will strengthen your marriage!

Keeping secrets can be a strength when it is not kept from your spouse.

This is how to know if there is a big problem: You can keep secrets from your spouse, but you cannot keep it from those outside! Now, that really needs some attention and counseling!

I pray that God will open your eyes the more and help you to make necessary adjustments in Jesus’ name!

I am open to my loved one. I will not hide things from him/her


I receive grace to be sincere


Mar 4:22 (MSG) We’re not keeping secrets, we’re telling them; we’re not hiding things, we’re bringing them out into the open.

Read books on how to be a good spouse

2 Samuel 13-15


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