50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years. Well, as you may be all aware, today is my 50th! I feel like 20! With all gratefulness to God, I want to appreciate God for keeping me alive this past fifty years! God has been good!
What song should I sing now? I want to sing all the songs together. God is good!
This morning I will share briefly with you on 50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years
1. You will eventually marry. Nobody can marry your spouse.
2. God qualifies the called. He does not call the qualified.
3. God will communicate to you in a pattern. Study that pattern.
4. Do not be in a hurry. When God speaks to you, a burden comes. There is a burden to prepare and a burden to perform. Find out which is which.
5. It is foolishness for you to fight your spiritual father or pastor.
6. Never gossip. It slows things down.
7. Never venture out without a spiritual covering.
9. Find your tribe or your spiritual lineage for that is where your inheritance is.
10. Nothing kills anointing like being in the wrong environment.
11. Never stay around people who talk against what your calling is.
12. Be a voracious reader.
13. Your first call is unto God. Stay with God and develop your faith muscle.
14. You cannot combine sin with the ministry.
15. Do not get into comparison traps.
16. As a lady, never ask a man out.
17. Do not spend nights or weekends in a man’s home until after the wedding.
18. Do not go into a relationship experimentally
19. If your lover says he or she wants to move on, let them move.
20. In God, some rejections are directions.
21. Do not be in a hurry.
22. Courtship time is an alignment of the mind, not the interlocking of bodies.
23. Your service and time spent for God in the church cannot cover or compensate for sexual disobedience.
24. Every single act in your courtship is a seed into your marriage and home.
25. If you build with lies, deception, and compromise, it is a courtship built on sand and not rock.
26. A relationship or courtship that is isolated and disenfranchised from mentorship will not always last.
27. Build your self-esteem. If you don’t, you will keep attempting to use your outer beauty to cover your inner struggles.
28. Be careful with a person who gives with a motive to defile you.
29. You have a responsibility to love yourself before any other person can love you.
30. Without God, sweet bread turns fast into gravel in the mouth and the mastication process becomes a mess and a pain.
31. Do not start playing small Mummy for anybody before the wedding
32. Being a virgin is good, but you must also have the right attitude and relationship skills.
33. Lastly, know that God has a plan for you. His thoughts towards you are thoughts of peace. Not of evil. God knows what He is doing. He is not confused
34. Focus on your spouse and spouse alone!
35. Wives, be a holy wife but don’t form holiness for your husband in the bed.
36. Wives, be a “naughty” girl. That is what he wants! Lose your inhibitions and give each other unforgettable experiences.
37. Singles, Why would you want to hold a night vigil together and alone? That way, it is not the devil tempting you, you are the one tempting him.
38. Sexual compromise will bring confusion to the soul. It happens all the time.
39. Each time you compromise, something dies in you. Avoid the traps.
40. No matter how far you think you have gone, God’s mercy is always there for you in repentance
41. Avoid dating married people. It is not only sinful, it is sowing a bad seed into your own marriage.
42. Adultery will adulterate your destiny. Avoid it.
43. Never lift your hands against your wife. Things will go south when you do that.
44. Be open to each other in marriage. Be recklessly sincere.
45. After pleasing God do all you can to please each other.
46. There may be a delay, but there won’t be a denial. His words will not fall to the ground.
47. Keep your marriage romantic. Keep doing all you were doing before the wedding
48. Look into each other’s eyes during sex. Soak in yourselves and merge as one.
49. Avoid strife like a plague. Pray together.
50. Forgive each other in a hurry. Never habour inhibitions against each other!
50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years
Good morning! My name is Rev Dunamis +234 802 350 7395 (Whatsapp Only)
These Four Things Will Bring Regret. Regret is one of the sad things that can happen to anyone. It is a terrible feeling that leaves one feeling guilty, depressed, and sometimes despondent. It is a feeling of, ‘If I had known it will turn out this way, I would not have done it’. It is a feeling of wishing things never turned out the way they are. A feeling of wishing one can turn back the hands of time.
A feeling of hopelessness. What makes regret bad is that with all these feelings, really you cannot change what has happened. It is like crying over spilled milk. My prayer to a lady out there this morning experiencing great regret is that God will turn things around for your good. He will show you great mercy and bring a testimony out of the trial. Most of the time, the things that will later cause sorrow or regret don’t look like it and that’s what makes it painful.
You never thought in your wildest imagination he can jilt you, you never thought after promising you heaven and earth he could sleep with you, abandon you for another lady and accuse you. The list could be endless. But for every blow of the devil, God has more than enough grace and mercy to heal. However, I believe prevention is better than cure and God will have us move into maturity while we know what to do and what will bring regret later and avoid doing them. Particularly ladies, they get to bare the brunt and feel the heat of hurt most of the time, May God help us in Jesus.
These Four Things Will Bring Regret 1. Becoming emotionally attached to someone who is not ready to marry you
Emotional attachment is a dangerous place to be because at that time you are not ready to reason nor willing to hear advice, direction, or instructions even from God. When emotions are involved, it’s like going on a sloppy, slippery road, descent is easiest and becomes unavoidable. Don’t be quick to get your emotions involved, do your findings first, pray, and ask questions. Be slow to get emotional. Don’t give your emotions the lead or the driver’s seat in your relationship, it will lead to an accident.
On the other hand for the married, emotional attachment is necessary, as it also reflects the one flesh principle in marriage. This emotional attachment with your spouse helps you to relate on a deeply emotional level and that connectedness helps your marriage and even your prayer life. Anything that will threaten that connection should not be allowed.
I will stop here this morning and conclude tomorrow with “These Four Things Will Bring Regret”
CONFESSION The Lord is my strength today in all I do
PRAYER Lord, give me the wisdom to avoid regrets in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee? Shew us thy mercy, O Lord, and grant us thy salvation (Psalms 85:6-7 KJV)
ACTION Decide to live above regrets and focus on the future
Overcoming Rejection After Breakfast Is Served. Sally was head over heels in love with George. Everything was looking great with all the butterflies flapping their wings. It was not for long however, George served Sally breakfast! Sally was heartbroken. What would she do?
All of the time, I tell people like Sally, it is not time to cry, it is time to move on. You cry when there is a loss of a loved one. That is understandable. But when somebody decides to leave you and move on, yes, you can cry a little, but you need to shake yourself into reality and understand that rejection is not always a disappointment, rejection can actually be a direction from God!
Love is two-way, it is mutual. But when one party decides he or she is no longer in love, don’t break your neck over that!
As a child of God, if you pray a lot, and you serve God with the integrity of heart, and then you fall in love with a guy who is deceiving you and who will eventually harm you one way or the other in the future, what do you think would happen?
God Himself would orchestrate a breakup because He doesn’t want any evil to befall you.
It is a reality that as humans, one can fall in love with a person that will eventually hurt you. Sometimes, you even know and you can see the signs. You can see the uncontrollable anger. You can see the unrepentant heart. You can see a penchant desire for pre-marital sex without any sense of guilt. You can even see that he or she is cheating on you, and yet you still hold on, believing that you will change him.
If you are a child of God and God loves you which I know He does, that kind of relationship will break up. You see, there are some relationships that break up and the next thing you should do is thanksgiving!
What do you do in Overcoming Rejection After Breakfast Is Served? You should just go ahead and thank God for saving your life! There are some strange ladies out there you get involved with and after a breakup, you thank your God, not getting into some pity party! You see, you thought you love him or her? Not really? It is because you have been embroiled with sex. You have tasted the stew before it was ready and now your tongue is burnt. When you get involved with sex before the wedding, confusion enters the soul.
Why is that? Because the injunctions of God have been violated.
When there is confusion in the soul, your mind becomes unclear. You continue to love the wrong person. You cannot disconnect from the one that hurt you from time to time. A soul tie has been established and illegal soulical bonding has been effected.
He or she decides to move on but you are wrecked emotionally. Months after, you couldn’t pick up your life. What do you do in such instances?
You run to God. The scripture says in Psalm 23, He restroreth my soul…
When you go to Him, He will heal the hurt, pacify the wounds, and touch you where no hands can reach. He will put the nuts to the bolts, and then you can see clearly, and then you wonder why you were loving a lair, a user, a manipulator, and a cheat in the first place.
So, you let go of such abusive relationships. If the wrong person doesn’t go, the right will not show up.
But why would he or she just leave me like that? Am I worthless? No, you are too much for him or her. Your destiny weighs more, and only the right one can handle your glorious destiny!
Every Abedne-go will eventually go! Let them go. For those who are married, there can also be rejection from your spouse. That is not the time to shut down as if you are a PC.
That is not the time to recoil into your shell like a snail. That is not the time to run into a cave. It is time to communicate with your God and with him or her to know the source of the rejection. Never assume, for assumption is the lowest form of knowledge. Never allow rejection to degenerate into strife. I see a glorious future ahead of you. I see God coming into your situation and bringing help your way and that will be your portion in Jesus’ name! This is what you do in Overcoming Rejection After Breakfast Is Served
CONFESSION I am not rejected, because God has not rejected me
PRAYER Pray that God strengthens you to make the right decisions
THOUGHT Hosea 14:4 I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him.
O Lord, Where Is My Spouse? From counseling experiences, I know some of us have done all we know to do and yet it doesn’t look like anything is happening. When you find yourself at this point, what do you do? What else is there to do?
I want to write to both singles and married this morning. For singles, It can really be frustrating when it looks like nearly all your friends are married except you. It is even more frustrating to know that some of those who are already married are not as beautiful as you and they are not as spiritual as you!
“If anybody should be married by now, it ought not to be Sister Sube who got born again last year! I have been serving God consistently for five years! What is happening here?“
O Lord, Where Is My Spouse? Here are a few things to know that will help you.
The Covenant
The first thing that you need to know that will help you in this situation where you might be experiencing a seeming delay is that you are a child of Covenant. This knowledge is the foundation of the entirety of your Christian life. It is on this spiritual truth that every other blessing springs. You must have a consciousness of that Covenant.
Listen to me, you are not just here floating to nowhere, you are in a covenant! A covenant is like an agreement that cannot be broken. You are in a certain agreement with God concerning your life, marriage, and destiny! This covenant stipulates that you can never be abandoned by God!
It is not just possible. Its possibility does not exist, that God will abandon you! How do I know? God swore by Himself and put His throne on the line, that all He has promised you, He will bring to pass and that He is committed until it is completed.
Take a look at it:
Hebrews 16 – 19 For men verily swear by the greater: and an oath for confirmation is to them an end of all strife. Wherein God, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath: That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;
This is the anchor of your soul. When doubts come, when tests and trials come, when your faith is shaky, when your feet seems imbalanced, when your heart begins to vacillate, what will keep you strong and unshakable is nothing other than the covenant.
If you are a child of the covenant, you are too covered, too blessed, too favoured. This covenant sense and perspective must be there in your life. It is on this covenant that you stand.
How can this covenant be rooted in your heart? You have to understand the terms of the covenant first. The terms can only be found in the covenant document and that is God’s word. Get familiar with it. Get to know and study what rights you have in God.
When you are oblivious to this covenant and the covenant rights, you will be easily depressed and discouraged from time to time.
When you get to know this covenant, it will give birth to something powerful. It will give birth to Assurance!
O Lord, Where Is My Spouse?
For married couples, the covenant consciousness will ensure an infidelity-free marriage. Once the couple recognizes that they are in covenant with each other and the covenant witness is God Himself, it will engender a distaste for sin. Who really wants to offend God in that sense?
The covenant awareness will keep both of you sane. This is why you should strive as couples to be covenant minded in your marriage.
Covenant violation does not come with nice consequences.
Dan 11:32 (AMPC) And such as violate the covenant he shall pervert and seduce with flatteries, but the people who know their God shall prove themselves strong and shall stand firm and do exploits [for God]. Good morning.
CONFESSION I am a child of the Covenant PRAYER Lord, open my eyes to see all that belong to me in the covenant
THOUGHT That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation…
Attraction In Relationships And Marriage. As a single, you don’t want to spiritualize everything and say attraction doesn’t matter! It matters a lot!
Marry somebody you like and you love, a friend you can play with and laugh with. That is why the scripture says, “…rejoice with the wife of thy youth.“
You also need to know that God will not force anybody on you. This idea that you are marrying somebody not because you love the person but because God said so is defective.
As a lady, when a guy walks up to you and tells you that God has spoken to Him, you also need to hear God as well.
The other day, a guy who is the president of his fellowship proposed to a lady within the fellowship this way:
“Young lady, God has spoken to me. Thus saith the Spirit of God, you are my wife. I will like you to cooperate with God’s voice. You don’t need to pray again because God has spoken to me. It is wise to listen to God lest one is faced with His wrath.”
That is nothing more than intimidation, manipulation, and witchcraft!
The scripture clearly identifies the importance of physical attraction when it comes to marriage. God in His wisdom knows that if a man does not derive satisfaction from his wife, he would seek it elsewhere, which of course will not only be detrimental to him but to his whole family.
Have you noticed that when a man commits adultery, the whole family suffers the consequences?
So, God advises man:
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings (Proverbs 5:18-21 KJV)
In other words, what God wants is that you focus on your wife and not somebody out there. He said all your ways are before Him and He will inquire about everything you do. More or less, the affair that you think is secret is actually open to God.
Now, we have established that physical attraction is very important! But there is a balance! Physical attraction alone is not the only thing that determines your choice! See the scripture:
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)
Message Translation says: Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear–of– God. (Proverbs 31:30 Message)
So we see here, the only thing shouldn’t be outward beauty, but also inner beauty. It is okay if she has hot legs, but her heart must also be hot for God! A hot leg without a hot heart will get your hands burnt at the end.
So in a man or in a woman, I should have an attraction for him or her, while he or she must have an attraction for God.
Attraction In Relationships And Marriage is very important!
Be patient and wait for the salvation of God in your marriage. If you are already married, stay focused on your spouse!
May God help us all.
CONFESSION I am a child of God. I am beautiful
PRAYER Pray that God will be your wisdom and strength
THOUGHT A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it (Proverbs 31:10-11 Message)
Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady Firstly, do not ask her to stay over before the wedding. Secondly, do not ask her for money repeatedly. In every kingdom, there are lifestyles and there are ethics that go with them When you adhere to these ethics, you don’t get into trouble. When you flout them, there will be consequences. It is the same way in the scriptures.
Here are Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady
1. Do not ask her to stay over before the wedding
When you have a relationship with a lady, either dating or in courtship, you should not put pressure on her to come and pass the night in your place. You are meant to “leave” before you “cleave, ” but when you invite her over, you are trying to “cleave” without “leaving.” That is the wrong order. Destinies will be clipped when you cleave before you leave.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 KJV)
When you go over to pass the night in his place, it is like trapping yourself. You are on his territory and anything can happen. Amnon couldn’t carry out his lustful thoughts on Tamar, but the moment she was in his room, the equation changed. He bolted the door and raped her!
When you are in a guy’s house you are not married to, the stage is set for compromise and because of the way a man’s body is wired, something will usually happen.
What if nothing happens? Are the angels clapping for you? I doubt! You have misrepresented Christ in a way, and you are passing the wrong message across. Your life is meant to be an example. Your lifestyle is meant to be a living gospel, so you need to be careful of how you behave.
On the other hand in marriage and for couples. do not stay outside your matrimonial home because of some quarrels. Do not ask your wife to leave the house because of some little provocation.
“I will send you back to your father’s house!”
That is a statement or thought you should not dance with under any circumstance!
Taking it further, do not leave your bedroom and go spend the night elsewhere. Stay in your bedroom regardless of what is happening. Resolve it rather than prolonging it.
Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady 2. Do not ask her for money repeatedly
There is nothing wrong in giving your fiance money if he is not financially disposed like you and you are in a position to help, but it is quite wrong to ask for money from her every other opportunity.
In fact, you may be seen as a leech at the end of the day who is only trying to manipulate the emotions of ladies to get what you want. This even becomes more intense when the relationship doesn’t end in a marriage. The lady will feel used and will end up hurt.
It is also not good for a man to keep borrowing money he has no intention of returning. That bothers on integrity and insincerity. It doesn’t matter if you are born again. There is nothing like holy fraud. Fraud is fraud!
It is also very wrong to keep collecting money from someone you intend to dump later. Life is about seed, time, and harvest and you don’t want to be sowing that kind of seed into your future.
It is the height of irresponsibility, for a man to ask all the time without reciprocating. If she gives you out of love, it is okay, if you ask her once out of a blue moon to sort something urgently, it is okay, but when you ask every other time and come up with one story or the other, it is not healthy for both of you!
On the other hand, in marriage, do not allow your wife to ask for money all the time before you make it available. There is nothing like “my money” again in marriage. The money belongs to both of you and it should be seen that way, irrespective of who is making it or making the most.
Never use money to control each other in your marriage. Do not give access to mammon spirit in your home. If you try to control her with money, she may end up trying to make “her own money” in desperate ways, which of course might be counterproductive to the marriage and the home. These are the Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady.
CONFESSION I have God’s wisdom in my relationship/marriage
PRAYER Lord, grant me more wisdom and grace in my relationship/marriage
THOUGHT Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN Have a discussion with your loved one if there is need to make amends.
Climb Her Not, Spread Not The Legs. One of the greatest deception tools that the devil has thrown to this generation is that a combination of unrepentant habitual sinful lifestyle and service unto God is cool.
Listen to me, this will never work. It doesn’t matter how anointed you think you are, let’s even say you have raised the dead, and you can go into trances at will, if you are living in habitual sin, it would be like a man sitting on a rocking chair, there is movement but there is no progress. There is sweat, but nothing to show for it. There is drama, but no reward from God.
For young men and ladies, NYSC members, and young adults who are serving in some capacity as an executive or leader, stay away from compromise. Don’t use your trusted position to defile people you are meant to oversee spiritually.
My goal this morning, is not to inject some fear into you, for God has not given us the Spirit of fear, but at the same time, there is a fear that comes from God, it is called Godly awe, it is called the fear of God! If the fear of God overtakes you as you read, then so be it, for that is part of the commission God gave to me, to raise a standard, even in the midst of a perverse and compromised generation.
Never in the history of the Homo Sapiens, have there been so many intense attacks from the hordes of hell in the areas of sexuality!
You are married. You are in adultery or you are single, and you are in adultery with a married man. He calls you on phone and you still pick up his calls? You are not ready!
Your pastor is sleeping with you. You claim you don’t know what to do. Yet after service, you go and sit down in his house, when his wife is not around? You are not yet ready like that.
You are the president of your fellowship. A young beautiful lady has accommodation issues, and yet you ask her to come and stay in the Secretariat where you can easily desecrate her? When did you become a property agent? You shouldn’t immobilize yourself through carelessness.
Why would you take a house help who is “crudely” beautiful when you know your weakness and you know your wife is not always around? You just hung yourself by doing that! Climb Her Not, Spread Not The Legs!
Sometimes, young wives don’t have an idea what their husbands are going through in terms of sexual pressures. They think because he speaks in tongues every day, it is taken care of. You want house help, by all means, they brought one village girl to you, your husband says “No way” for no reason, and you are still arguing she must stay? Don’t you know the moment he set eyes on her, he already knew he would “commit?”
The intense pressures and temptations you face daily are orchestrations of hell to tamper with your destiny, but the good news is that he cannot force you!
Decide for God, and you will fulfill your destiny. Always remember this, Joseph ran from sin and fulfilled destiny. Samson stayed with sin, and died, his ministry unfulfilled!
Before you climb on that girl, before you spread your legs for that guy, always remember, it is about your future, your destiny, and your glory!
There are people you sleep with for seven minutes and there is delay and strange troubles for the next seven years. There are strange hands you allow in your blouse and you battle some sickness for the next few years! Climb Her Not, Spread Not The Legs!
Wherever you find yourself this morning, know that the grace of God and His mercy are still at work, and you are never too far gone! You can start afresh in Him this morning, now, and your life will never remain the same again!
CONFESSION I will not be cut off in the midst of my days
PRAYER Lord, keep me in your strength and in your power in Jesus name
THOUGHT Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned (Proverbs 6:27-28 KJV)
ACTION PLAN Delete every number that needs to be deleted.
How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment. It is wise to find God before you try to find a spouse! It is good that God becomes your Lord, before you seek for a spouse. Your relationship with God will stablise your relationship with your lover. There should first be a lover of your soul before a lover in your soul. There is a space in your heart that only your maker can fill. If you try to put a lover in that spot, you will eventually frustrate that lover and yourself.
There is one of God’s promises that says when you look for Him, you will find Him.
It is a sure promise, because God’s word will never fall to the ground. His word has never been known to fail, and it will never fail. His word will always come to pass!
How do you look for God? How do you look for God in a pragmatic day to day sense?
Now, understand this, the first order of things is to seek and find God before you try to seek a spouse! The foundation that will sustain a successful relationship that will lead to marriage is knowing God, by seeking Him daily and consistently. There is nothing as powerful as that! This is How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment
13″When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. ” Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, 14 I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. “God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you “–– God’s Decree––” bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it (Jeremiah 29:13-14 Message) The phrase in the above verses says, “…Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.”
Now, that is awesome! King James Version says “…when you search for me with all your heart…”
I want to challenge you this morning, as a spokesman for Jehovah, that it is time you get serious about finding God more in your life. It is something you have to prioritize! When you do that, search for God with all your heart, and really get serious with God in all your endeavours, God gives you a promise that sounds too good to be true, “You will not be disappointed!”
Finally, that scripture says, “I will turn things around for you!” King James Version says “I will turn away your captivity!”
That is only what God can do, not a spouse! That is a job for your Jehovah, not your lover. Marriage cannot turn things around for you, only God can. So you see, that the earlier you settle the God factor in your life, the more you are getting ready for settling down in marriage!
In the ensuing days, weeks, and months, I want you to dedicate time for God in your life, give it some priority, and as God said in His word, I make bold to say that you will not be disappointed! This is How To Find A Spouse Without Disappointment
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will search for God with all my heart
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will strengthen you to search for Him the more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. Riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness (Proverbs 8:17-18 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Step up your time of devotion with God
Two Ways To Love Your Spouse. Sally is in love. Butterflies are flying in her tummy, her heartbeat accelerating, and there are twinkle little stars on her face always! George is floating on Cloud 9. He is crazily in love with Sally. The mere sight of thinking about her would elicit goose pimples all over him.
So, Sally and George are in love! How would they take care of each other?
The Johnsons are married, and somehow the butterflies have decided to rest, the heartbeat is stable and the stars have hibernated. How do you take care of each other or probably rekindle this love?
Here are some ideas for singles and married couples.
Two Ways To Love Your Spouse 1. Communication
Stay in touch. Words are powerful; use them to your advantage. As singles, don’t let your courtship season be a memory of fights, quarrels, and arguments. Be mature with each other. Avoid being incommunicado.
Make it a rule; we must keep talking. That can be a powerful principle to live by as a married couple as well. The devil feasts on silence; assumptions will persist and complicate the issue because assumptions are the lowest form of knowledge.
What is a man looking for? Respect! What is a lady looking for? Love!
If you learn to communicate this, there will be less tension!
Singles should however note that it is wrong to say you are showing respect while you are disobeying God’s injunctions! More aptly put, you are not showing respect to your fiance by cooperating with him when he asks for sex!
2. Spirituals
Oh, pastor, what has this got to do with being romantic? It’s got a lot to do! Somebody said, in order to be romantic, read the book of Romans! Lol…
Well, candidly, your spiritual life as single or married can determine the success of your relationship or marriage.
There are two elements to your spiritual life: reading God’s word and praying to God. If you can make this regular and consistent, some order will come into your relationship/marriage.
As you read, you will come to understand God’s thoughts and plan for a good relationship or marriage.
As you pray, God will give you ideas, resources, and energy to take your relationship/marriage to the next level. Here are Two Ways To Love Your Spouse
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God to the needful
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will teach and instruct you in the way to go
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye (Psalms 32:8 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss the issue of mentorship
Who Is The Right Woman For Marriage? George really loved Sally, beautiful and charming, but he felt her height wasn’t what he wanted. Deborah was spiritual and prayerful, but he felt, she wasn’t spiritual enough. Comfort was actually tall and but he felt she was too muscular because she was a Kungfu enthusiast. His brain taunted him with what could happen if a quarrel ensued. George had many ladies as close friends, his issue was not who to marry, but who to marry out of the numerous ladies who swarmed like bees around him.
George was simply confused. Would he marry like this? What exactly do you look for in a lady?
Yesterday, I started writing about what to look for in a godly woman. Let’s look at it more.
Who Is The Right Woman For Marriage?
2. She has a mentor or Pastor over her.
She is submissive to spiritual authority. If she is not submissive to spiritual authority, there may be issues afterward with submission.
When a lady has issues with parents, pastors, Uncles, and so on, the people are not the problem. The problem is that the lady has issues with authority figures. She doesn’t know what it means to submit. Probably she didn’t grow up with her dad, so she learned early to be independent.
Unless she renews her mind and decides to unlearn and learn, there will be serious issues in marriage.
Who Is The Right Woman For Marriage?
3. She is not a strange woman.
Only strange women go after men and look for sex! They are not even interested in the money that comes with it, they just wanted sex!
A good lady will want to keep her virtue!
At this junction, I must mention that there are genuine cases where it is not as if the lady in question is promiscuous, but she has been introduced to sex and sundries at a tender age and she has grown up sexually active. Esteem has been battered and sex is seen as the price to pay to get love.
To such ladies, sex is no different from any other thing. While this experience is not her fault, the reality is that she is not supposed to stay in this clime. Her background is not enough reason for her back to remain on the ground. With the help of God, she is to clean up and stay away from every compromise!
Sin shall not have dominion over you! It means you can be in control with the help of God’s Spirit. You see, the seed of God in you is life, and it doesn’t go together with a sinful lifestyle! If you find yourself, in this scenario, I want you to cry to God and ask for His help. He will send help to you! Or you can call me on phone, and we will deal with this perverse spirit that seeks to destroy your destiny!
I pray that God grants you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have God’s wisdom to live right
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I resist every sinful trap in my life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. (Romans 6:14 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to resist all appearances of evil
This Is What To Look For In A Wife. There are different kinds of ladies out there. There are godly ladies and ungodly ladies. There are born-again sisters and those who are not born again. There are those who have given their lives to Jesus at one time and have also collected back the life from Jesus after some time!
There are those who are born again but their minds are not renewed yet, hence, they still do all they used to do before they got born again. There are strange women which the scripture warned about. There are ladies who will genuinely be an addition to you because he that finds a “wife” finds good and obtains favour from the Lord!
Interestingly, you can find all these categories right in church! This morning, I want to tell you a few things to take note of ”
The scripture says “ He that finds a “wife,” not a sister!
So, the indication is that every lady must become a wife before being found! And this talks about your preparation, not relocating to your fiance’s house!
You are not supposed to move into his house before marriage to go and prove anything. That is not what we are talking about here. If he does not trust you enough to love and believe He has been led by God, then it may not be worth it. It is not scriptural for you to move into a guy’s house before marriage to go and cook, wash clothes, boxers, and singlets, nay, that is an affliction!
If a brother insists you should be pregnant before marriage, something is wrong somewhere, because he is more or less telling you to despise God’s commandments.
So if you agree and get pregnant, and then you are preparing for the wedding and it’s just two weeks away, God forbid, if there is a miscarriage, what happens? He will postpone the wedding? God has not called you into such sexual experiments, which translates to disobedience to God! That way, you risk losing God’s favour and support!
If you already made that mistake, it’s okay, don’t allow the devil to plummet you with agonizing guilt, ask for forgiveness and move on with your life. But if you are about to do such things, I stand as God’s mouthpiece and servant to let you know that it is not God’s plan for your life!
And you know what? You will have the greatest level of result and fulfillment when you are in God’s plan!
This Is What To Look For In A Wife
1. She is a genuine child of God, born again and spirit filled with the evidence of speaking in tongues.
Pastor, why speak in tongues? That is the power of Christianity! Without it, Christianity will be a bore. You have been configured to survive as a child of God with the help of the Holy Spirit, not without Him. He is the one that will help you live above sin!
Listen to me, there are certain things you will just not understand when you are not filled with the Holy Spirit! Do you know the Holy Spirit is the one that will help you identify the right spouse and warn you against wrong relationships? As a wife, do you know you need the help of the Holy Spirit to submit to your husband fully? This Is What To Look For In A Wife
I will conclude this tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have God’s wisdom to do the right thing
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I resist every sinful lifestyle in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. (Romans 6:14 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to stop all sinful lifestyles
Practical Ways To Stop That Thing! Sandy has been locked in the intricacies of sexual sins for a while. The more she tried to stop, the more she plunged further into the abyss of sexual misadventures.
Her story seemed unfortunate, but there she was. She found that out she has been entwined in the duo of sexual perversion and mammon spirit.
Would she ever be able to stop this misadventure?She doubted herself.
In a few years of counseling singles and married couples, never has there been any problem or issue as intense as sexual sins.
Almost akin to a mountain, it stands tall in the life of any one who has dabbled into sexual sins. The person becomes completely intertwined and entangled, like an ant caught in a giant spider’s web!
In the early years of Kisses and Huggs Club, I was as frustrated as the ones I was counseling when I see that most of these people would go back to their vomit, even after counseling sessions and prayers.
Both the counselor and the counselee were at a loss on what to do. Until God opened my eyes to see that sexual sins are spiritual! Then God graced me to be able to deal with the spirit of perversion and deception which is largely behind most sexual compromises including homosexuality! Then I saw people set free supernaturally!
I have seen people weep in repentance only to go back into sexual sins. I have had to counsel pastors who just preached about sexual compromise only to find them locked up in sexual embrace afterward!
I have been called on the phone concerning a Bishop that was asking out a member right on the altar on the prayer line in one of his branch churches.
I have seen people who fasted forty days to deal with sexual sins only to be back in bed with another man on the fortieth day!
vractical Ways To Stop That Thing!
1. You see, the first thing you need to realize is that the scripture says emphatically:
For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. (Romans 6:14 KJV)
Yes, no matter your experiences, the scripture shall not be broken. Jesus already dealt with the sin issue. The power of iniquity is broken! That was a major reason Jesus Christ died for you and me.
In the Old Testament, our sins were atoned for. It means they were kind of covered by the blood of goats!
In the New Testament, the blood of Jesus, because of its superiority and holiness, did not just cover our sins; it wiped them away with no trace of remembrance! In God, when you embrace redemption, you were reconfigured back to who you were before you ever sinned! As much as that sounds difficult to grasp, that is what happened. You see, the things of God cannot be grasped with our natural understanding!
2. The second thing you need after this understanding is to go to God and ask Him to forgive you of all misdeeds and mistakes. And you know what? He will forgive you! When He forgives you, He will also forget!
Listen to me dear, God does not condemn you! Do you remember what He told that woman caught in adultery, whose destiny would have been truncated by stoning, Jesus Christ told her, I do not condemn you, BUT, go and sin no more!
In the same way, rather than stone the ones caught today, we are to restore them because that is why Jesus died for them!
You also need to understand that not a few are caught in sexual compromise not because they are promiscuous, but like Mephibosheth, they were dropped before they reached the age of accountability!
Some of them were abused by some big cousin, raped by some unsuspecting relative, fingered by some lesson teacher, innocence stolen by some big brother, and such! In hiding these for many years and not being able to open up, that which they were a victim of; found them becoming another victim or even the prey!
I come in the name of the Lord this morning that you don’t have to be under the weak and beggarly elements, under demonic powers again in your sexuality! You don’t have to succumb to every cry of the flesh. You can master your body with the Help of the Holy Spirit and make your destiny a significant one!
Go to God and ask for help. Talk to your father, every help you need can be found in Him. Refuse to cooperate with the devil. These are Practical Ways To Stop That Thing!
We will stop here this morning.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Sin shall not have dominion over me!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray and ask God to cleanse you of all sins and give you the grace to forgive all that hurt you many years ago
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Do good, O Lord, unto those that be good, and to them that are upright in their hearts. (Psalms 125:4 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List everybody you will need to unfriend!
A Checklist For Your Marital Journey. The life of a man is always in seasons. There are three major seasons and milestones in the life of a man. M – Morning A – Afternoon N – Night
The month of October here. These seasons in a man’s life are productive or wasted depending on the habits and activities of the man.
The scriptures says: So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. (Psalms 90:12 KJV)
This morning, I will like to remind you on a few things, though not exhaustive, that you should consider as the month begins. Here is a Checklist For Your Marital Journey
1. Read The Book and at least a book What has knowledge got to do with it? The scripture says a man of knowledge increases strength! The Book is God’s word, it should be read daily and consistently. It is good to read The Book and at least a book! A book could be on any other topic which ensures self development of perhaps on relationships and marriage.
2. Fast and pray at least one day. This is good for you because it helps you to stay tuned spiritually. You see, the success of any believer is dependent on his ability and discipline to connect with God, hear His voice and do His bidding. Fasting and Prayers helps you to hear God more. You can join KHC Global Fasting and Prayer Programme on 3rd to 5th October
3. Walk in love and forgiveness throughout As the month begins, can you truly say, “I have forgiven all?” This is very important. Make sure you don’t begin the month with any kind of offence from previous months or years. Begin the new month in a new way and with a cleansed heart. Let the hurts and the wounds go with past month, so that newness of God’s favour can be yours in Jesus name.
Married Couples who have issues and have not be talking can use the opportunity to end all quarrels and start again. Let love cover a multitude of sins. End all strife and let the healing balm of God work on your soul. The Psalmist said, “He restoreth my soul!” I pray for you this morning, God will restore your soul in Jesus name!
4. Stay away from all sexual compromise and other sins A child of God is never comfortable with habitual sins. Something in him does not agree with a sinful lifestyle. It is possible you have made a mistake or two, but you should be quick to ask God for forgiveness, and then refuse to go back into such sins. Sin shall not have dominion over you, so says the scriptures. Don’t go back into what you already walked away from. It is not fashionable to eat one’s vomits!
2Pe 2:21-22 (MSG) Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”
5. Talk to your mentor at least once Life is in phases; men are in sizes. You will never come to a place in life where you know it all, you will always need people around you who have done what you are trying to do. Never abuse the gift of access granted you by people above you. Learn to ask questions. You don’t go to the house of your mentor and start watching TV or chatting away. You ask questions, because the wisdom of a man is encapsulated in his words!
6. Save some money It is a good habit to always save some money, however small. As the month begins, can you truly say how much came into your hands, how you expended it and how much you are able to save in the past months? Do you have a money diary? You should, where you keep you transactions to the last Kobo.
7. Honour God with your tithe and seed You already know this if you are a child of God. It is one thing you should never stop doing, and it is one thing you should constantly do. It is the pathway to your financial increase, and as you give, God, gives you more! It is the plan of God that He will prosper you as you give and enable His work to be done on earth. God wants to make you a channel, not a dam.
It is a partnership that God is calling you to. If you never pay your tithe, you wouldn’t know how much you are missing out until you start to honour God. Even in business world, when someone helps you to get a job or deal, you give a certain percentage to that person voluntarily. It is ethical. Has God been good to you in any way? Then it is simple common sense to give back to His work.
8. Serve God with your time This is a powerful principle. Wherever you find yourself, make sure you get busy for God and you know what? God will get busy for you. Service preserves your health and provides for you.
Above is A Checklist For Your Marital Journey
Exo 23:25 (KJV) And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.
May God grant more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will go forward and press forth
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will honour you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well! (Psalms 90:12 Message)
Here’s What You Do When Discouraged. The very life itself seems to be oozing out of Sandy! She was just recovering from a major disappointment that life meted out at her and then another thing happened. Yes, she lost a relationship, and while she was still licking her wounds, when she was laid off her work.
The whole horde of hell seemed to be against her. Has God abandoned her? What do you do when discouraged?
Mr. and Mrs. Johnsons were not exempt from their own share of happenstances of life. They quarreled in repeated cycles till they began to demonize themselves. Would that ever end?
Here’s What You Do When Discouraged. There is one thing I will like to tell you this morning! In the midst of that discouragement, Never Compromise!”
Disappointments can often make a person vulnerable. The reactions from people, friends, family, and the environment can create unbelievable pressures that can quickly increase vulnerabilities to temptations around.
Now, I speak to you this morning, as by the Spirit of God, don’t compromise!
Singles, never allow pressures to push you into the “whoever-comes-corner! That is not your portion! You cannot end up with a wife beater because of pressures! You cannot end up hooking up with a son of Belial because of pressures. You can’t walk down the aisle with a strange woman because of pressure. You cannot dine with an adulterer because of pressure.
Listen to me, you have waited a while, your waiting will not be in vain! Your waiting will not culminate in shame! Your waiting will not be a ‘wasting!” God has you in mind and He will not fail you.
He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. (Isaiah 40:29 KJV)
When you are down and out, rather than turn to compromise, turn to God. He will lift you up in that weak moment. It is not a sin to become weak, it only becomes a problem when you try to feed your weaknesses by compromise rather than turn to God. God is waiting to give power to the faint and increase in strength when you turn to him.
So, my dear, when you are so down and discouraged when you are so weak and feel like crying all day, go back to God in that moment! He will speak to you and assure you of what He will do in your life.
When you feel like going back to the world, go to the word and to the throne of grace lest you become like the proverbial dog that went back to its vomit!
But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire. (2 Peter 2:22 KJV)
That will never be your portion. Continuing from the verse above, Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: (Isaiah 40:30 KJV)
Many people will fall around you. Many will go back and compromise and for a while it would seem to be working for them. In fact, it would like they are smart while you are so foolish! You cannot follow people; you are to follow God. Why? You’ll see it in the next verse.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31 KJV)
Here’s What You Do When Discouraged. Let your waiting be a ‘waiting upon the Lord.” It will change your level, it will bring speed into your life, and you will be able to do a lot without getting tired. It will all end in a testimony, when you refuse to compromise in those vulnerable moments!
Couples, be in agreement with your spouse. Avoid any form of rancor that may lead to bitterness, for such can dissipate the anointing quickly. Don’t allow concerned family members to push you into compromise of any sort, focus on God and you will surely see His salvation!
Here’s What You Do When Discouraged. Enjoy your moments together, at the times you abound or you are abased.
For those trusting God for fruit of the womb, I pray for you this morning, that God will open your womb in Jesus name! Whatever could be the hindrance, low sperm count, blocked tubes, abnormal hormonal level or whatever it is, in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not compromise
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me strength in Jesus name in areas of weaknesses
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. (Isaiah 40:29 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off from every compromise and all negative influences
Handling The Marital Valley Of Death. Sandy was on cloud nine. It was just a few weeks before her wedding! D-Day was approaching and her ecstasy was palpable. God has given him a handsome pocket-loaded man! Preparations were in top gear and then the unexpected happened. His husband-to-be called off the wedding! No warnings, no reasons, he just withdrew. Sandy was paranoid.
What? Sandy thought she was going to die! Suicidal thoughts crept up. What would people think? What kind of curse was that? Her tender heart spiraled down into an emotional abyss where darkness enveloped her very mind and despondency wrapped her up.
Mr. And Mrs. Johnson on the other hand, who got married three years ago, faithfully serving God with their time, money and energy just had hell unleashed on them as the husband lost a plush job he had barely engaged in less than a year! It was devastating for them as a family. How could God allow this? They had given testimony, they had told several people, they had made plans and then all that comes crashing down!
Well, Sandy and the Johnsons are passing through the valley of the shadow of death!
Psa 23:3 (KJV) He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Everything looks good and yummy here. He is leading me on the path of righteousness. Cool. But wait for the next verse!
Psa 23:4 (KJV) Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
What? How did paths of righteousness quickly turn into the valley of the shadow of death? To now think that it is God leading me? What is going on here?
Now here is the catch. Here is what to do in Handling The Marital Valley Of Death
Valley experiences will come in relationships and marriages. Jilted, abused, cheated, disappointed, abandoned, used, and so on.
Your reaction is what determines your victory! You are not to murmur or complain! You are to thank God for where you are and then you will see why He led you through that valley!
There are things you hold on to, that He does not want for you. There are people in your life that will ruin everything five years down the line. There are possible suitors who might turn you into a widow or widower in a few years and you can’t see it! There are handsome evil men and beautiful strange women!
The only way God can deliver you is to lead you into that valley. It is the valley of the shadow of death because things die there, that the old might go and new can be ushered in.
Did you notice what it says in the second part of the verse?
…I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Don’t fear. Don’t panic. He is right there with you and you won’t perish in the fire!
Don’t complain that the guy left you in the cold. There is the new you are not aware of, which can only be unveiled and possessed with the right attitude. Don’t blame God because you lost a job or contract, rather rejoice and thank God.
Tell God, I don’t understand, but I believe you are my shepherd. You may lead me round, but you will not lead me wrong!
The devil wants you to get angry, murmur, throw tantrums and get offended, when you do that, you actually lost. Like job was told by his wife, the devil wants you to curse God and die in that valley!
Job’s response was epic!
Job 2:10 (MSG) He told her, “You’re talking like an empty-headed fool. We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?” Not once through all this did Job sin. He said nothing against God.
In verse 13, he said; Job 13:15 (KJV) Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.
If you can switch into praise if you can sing a song, if you can rejoice in the midst of obvious contradictions, you will see the salvation of God, you will see victory and you will laugh last. You see, it is after you have the right response in praise and joy that the next verse becomes a reality.
Psa 23:5 (KJV) Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
God then gives you victory before those that have mocked you and clarity comes to your mind and your cup runs over, which is abundance! When this happens, then you’ve done great in Handling The Marital Valley Of Death!
May God grant you more understanding! Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to rejoice
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to see the new in this situation
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 23:2 (MSG) You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray in the Spirit for about an hour
Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You. Sandy was badly hurt, that ten years after the blow meted to her by her lover, she was still hurt! Without knowing, the hurt has morphed into wounds and the wounds have crystallized into bitterness. This in turn affected everything about her life.
How do you forgive in the real practical sense of it?
Forgiveness is not talking about the issue. Forgiveness is not explaining the situation. Forgiveness is not reporting the person to your pastor. Forgiveness goes beyond that especially when the issue is very grave and hurting.
Usually, the female gender is the most hurt, they are more like at the receiving end. A lady attaches more to a relationship than a guy will. Man is a logical being, so it is easier for him to walk away from relationships and console himself so that somebody else will show up.
The lady on the other hand, has her whole life, emotions and essence woven and intertwined in a relationship because she is a relationship being, so it is usually more hurting for her especially when she is not the one initiating the break-up.
In marriage; it is the same, the wife is more hurt. When I am settling quarrels between a couple, you find the man smiling after a while, but the lady finds it more difficult to let go like that, depending on the process that led to the hurt. However, in marriage, the greatest thing you can learn to do is to forgive! In fact, it is good you practice advanced forgiveness!
Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You. The first thing to do in forgiving a person is to
1. Decide to forgive
This step is actually important because you can say “I have forgiven so and so,” when in reality, you never decided to forgive such a person. Forgiveness is a conscious and deliberate decision you make. You have been jilted, used, abandoned, rejected, abused sexually, treated shabbily, and so on? Let go! Decide to forgive so that you can move on. The best revenge is success and good marriage. But that will only come when you forgive! Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You is a must!
2. Ask God to give you the needed strength to forgive.
If the name of the person who hurt you is mentioned, and your countenance changes, you have not forgiven yet. If you hissed at the thought of the person, you have not forgiven yet. In such instances, you need strength from God. You need to pray that God should reach within you, touch you where no man can touch you, and heal you indeed.
Your offender who you thought would rot in hell can meet Jesus along the way and go to heaven! You that were offended too should make heaven and not allow someone to occupy a space in your heart springing up into bitterness. Being bitter will never make you better! Wives, forgive your husbands, yes, you think he is naughty and sometimes wicked, but forgive him all the same, so that you can both believe God for greater things! Never curse your husband in your heart!
Embrace him tonight. Let your love be rekindled. Don’t give the enemy space in your home. Husbands, forgive you,r wives, You think she is stubborn and disrespectful but forgive her so that your prayers will not be grounded. Call her on phone and assure her you have forgiven! She might come up with uncooperative attitudes, but ignore it, and bury your ego, she probably wants to be sure you are remorseful. Ignore her attitude and be resolute in making your marriage work. This is what Forgiving The Lover Who Hurt You entails.
I will probably still write more on this tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I forgive all who have hurt me
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I receive strength to forgive in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (Colossians 3:13 ESV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List out names of all who hurt you and forgive them one by one
Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson were the quintessential couple everybody admired. But what people saw was the pulchritude. Within the family, the demon of anger reigned supreme. In no time the seemingly beautiful marriage was ruined, because of uncontrollable anger. That which could have been one of the best became a mess. Their marital life could have been a counsel to others, but they canceled each other out!
There are some things that will work and there are some things that will not work. Now, you don’t need to spend another five years trying to experiment what will work and what will not work. You only need to be willing to learn. Every time you make a mistake, it has the potential of hardening your heart against God. This is a tactic of the devil, so life is not to be permanently lived on Mistake Street by Error Avenue. You can decide to go for wisdom.
Be slow to get angry. Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life. This is what the scripture expressly advises. Not a few have lost precious relationships because of anger tantrums. Now, it is okay to be angry sometimes as a human, I do get angry myself sometimes. But when your anger becomes compulsive, uncontrollable and bothering on violence, you need to be careful.
When you get angry, you beat people around you, pick up a fight or destroy things, then you need to consciously pray to God for help. Go on the net and Google ‘anger management’ and get some materials that will help you. Go into the scriptures and study every instance where the words, “anger, angry, wrath, etc occurs.
One of such scriptures says Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9 KJV)
In order words, if you get angry too quickly, you are a…. (clearing throat) I didn’t write that, you said it!
The translation I like most is this: Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head. (Ecclesiastes 7:9 Message)
The Message translation isn’t playing at all! The next time, you get so angry, walk away and check the mirror, if you can see the lumps there, relax first before you make a decision! Unnecessary anger will ruin relationships. Anger problems will make you say things you will regret later.
See the example of these guys in the scriptures who had serious anger problems. Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their self will they digged down a wall (Genesis 49:5-6 KJV)
Here, their father began to talk about these two brothers who in fits of anger, killed and wiped out a whole community! You see, unnecessary anger will lead to death…death of things, death of relationships, death of opportunities, and even death of marriage!
Do you know how many people have called their lawyers in anger and opted out of marriage, then got married to another person angrily only to discover that the new person is worse? May you not get married to an angry person who has an instrument of cruelty in their habitations. Their father was so furious at their actions and actually placed a curse on them!
Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. (Genesis 49:7 KJV)
Look at those words: scatter, divide…that is what fierce anger leads to! Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life
If as a single you can see that you have anger issues, don’t ignore it and don’t play the denial card. Talk to your pastor or mentor, get books and read, get into the scripture and study so that your mind can be renewed, and pray to God to help you!
Now when you pray to God to help, more people will come your way to get you angry more and provoke you the more, so that each time you lose it, you can really know you need help and then you can consciously begin to work on it.
As married couples, if both of you are angry at the same time, it can be dangerous. There are husbands that will not talk to their wives for days. That is not being a man! There are wives that get hurt at everything and will close up their spirits against their husbands. How will your prayers be answered?! You can’t run your home like that! You are trusting God to conceive, yet you are always fighting, don’t you know that is the devil?
If one is angry, the other should calm down. Here is some advice for you: A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1 KJV)
Try and see how it works. When the other is angry, don’t raise your voice too. Talk in a whisper, the demon of wrath will fly away! You see that demon works by working you up and causing you to vibrate like the fan made in Aba!
So, when you refuse to vibrate and say the wrong words, the demon loses its power! If he or she goes like, ‘You are crazy! You are mad!’ (That shouldn’t be the language of God’s children)
And then you respond with, ‘Your father is crazy, you mama don craze!”
What do you think will happen?
What about a soft answer, almost a whisper, that goes like, “dear, it is well.” Don’t Let Anger Ruin Your Love Life
God will help us all in Jesus’ name.
I rebuke the spirit of anger in your relationship and marriage, I ask the Spirit of God to intervene in your satiation and give you the wisdom to handle it in Jesus’ name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not a fool, therefore, I don’t get angry easily.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I curse every root of anger and wrath in my life in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: (Proverbs 22:24 KJV)
Here’s an Invitation To True Love. Sandy is a church girl. She goes to church regularly, belongs to the choir, and serves God passionately, but she is also caught up with some habitual sins, which she has not been able to confront for a long time.
George is the fellowship head of his campus fellowship but has sexual relationships with some of the flock he is supposed to keep. He knows his lifestyle doesn’t please God, but he would find himself from time to time doing what he preaches against.
Mr. & Mrs. Johnson want to serve God and they are doing all they can. It is just that they are both compromisers, they are seeing someone else. They know it is wrong, but they continued, thinking that somehow, things will just work out. They are practicing what is known as an ”open relationship” where both know they are cheating on each other!
What is common with these people?
They are all involved with what is not going to work. They are all hoping God’s mercy will work for them, and really it will work for a while.
Let’s take a look at the scriptures and see some principles. Here’s An Invitation To True Love, The Invitation to buy:
Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. (Isaiah 55:1 KJV)
Here we see God inviting you to come and buy what you will eat and which will do you good. But these are not the kind of stuff you buy with money. These are the kinds of stuff you buy with time and with your heart.
The very first principle that will ensure success in your relationship, marriage, and life is to have a thirst for the things of God and to go to the waters.
The waters talk about the word of God. You buy revelation for your situation, not with your money but with a sincere and dedicated heart unto God.
You see, your thirst for a good life, a good marriage, a good home, and the good things in life is legitimate. Your thirst to make it, become significant in life, and be wealthy is a legitimate feeling. The hunger to quit living at the lowest rung of the ladder and move up is genuine, but you must take a step further to buy, the right way!
You buy with a good heart unto God and with spending time in God’s word regularly. You see, this is a lasting and tested principle that will quench that thirst of yours.
That thirst cannot be quenched with sex with the one you are not married to. You see, the hunger you feel in your soul, the emptiness of ideas, the feelings of loneliness that envelopes you can only be pacified and satisfied by honoring God’s invitation.
The devil has its own invitation cards as well.
It is an invitation to compromise. It is an invitation to spiritual apathy and mediocrity. It is an invitation to the road that leads to hell. The invitation card looks so alluring and beautiful, but you see, the consequence of honoring an invitation is not in the invitation card but in the person who is inviting you!
The guy who is insisting you should prove your love with sex is offering an invitation. The lady who told you to your face that you are old fashioned by staying away from sex is also offering an invitation.
Do you remember the invitation of the strange woman in Proverbs 7?
So now I’ve come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face––and here you are! I’ve spread fresh, clean sheets on my bed, colorful imported linens. My bed is aromatic with spices and exotic fragrances. Come, let’s make love all night, spend the night in ecstatic lovemaking! My husband’s not home; he’s away on business, and he won’t be back for a month (Proverbs 7:15-20 Message)
But you see, the invitation is not always the end of the story. There is always a severe consequence when you honour the wrong invitation.
See what follows:
Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. Before you know it, he’s trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop, Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow, Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over (Proverbs 7:21-23 Message)
This is a clear invitation to adultery! Married couples, I challenge you today! Decide to refuse every wrong invitation. It is your choice! That guy or lady that seems better than your spouse is a trap! Do not get tangled in bed with the one you are not married to! The agony that follows such is intense!
God’s invitation will lead you to the good life you have always wanted.
Start the day with God’s word. Stay away from sin. Decide to live for God by refusing every compromise. Don’t play along thinking something will just happen, nothing just happens, everything is a consequence of an action, an effect after a cause!
I will conclude this morning by showing you God’s invitation through the mouth of Jesus Christ. No other invitation will beat this one!
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)
Now you won’t really understand the weight of the above invitation until you read it in another translation, and I conclude with that this morning!
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me––watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill–fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly (Matthew 11:28-30 Message)
Oh Jesus! I could preach a whole day from that. I challenge you to refuse and discard every other invitation and accept the invitation from the lover of your soul! Embracing the lover of your soul will lead you into the arms of the love of your life! Here’s An Invitation To True Love
What if you already get entangled as a single or married? Then get disentangled! It’s an issue of your decision, your God, and what God wants for your life! May God help you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to honour every wrong invitation
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to thirst and hunger after you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30 ESV)
Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover. Mrs. Johnson was petrified. She wished the earth would open up and swallow her. She has just been embarrassed by her husband who shouted at her in the public.
She was like a chicken stripped of all its feathers, as she stood there, completely befuddled and disconcerted. If it was someone else who did this, she would have understood, but it was her husband, who was supposed to be her protector, that exposed her as it were, to preys who looked and sighed cynically.
It was a similar thing that happened between George and Sandy who were not yet married. It was George that was embarrassed in their courtship right in the market! They had gone shopping together and because George was unable to buy what Sandy wanted, she dropped her fiance like a hot potato, not considering what others thought about the situation. She left him there in the cold, and walked away, damning the consequences.
What are those things you shouldn’t do in public? Let’s dive into this.
Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover
1. Don’t talk down on your spouse in the public Avoid this as much as you can. Do not belittle yourselves before friends or family. Get the back of one another. Defend one another and then you can talk more later in the private.
2. Do not correct your spouse publicly. Correction can become criticism quickly depending on the scenario involved. Do not correct your spouse in the presence of friends and family. Wait till you are alone to make that correction.
3. Do not shut down or shout at your spouse privately or publicly. This is one of the things that hurt ladies most. Shouting them down. Avoid doing that to the one you love. And of course, it is more grievous when it is the wife doing that to her husband!
4. Do not make your spouse an object of a joke. Don’t try to be comical by using your spouse as the object of laughter. There is something defective about people laughing at your spouse based on something you said. It can hurt the bone. Simply avoid such. Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not embarrass my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to stay strong and focused on you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase. (Job 8:7 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Keep giving, keep serving and keep rejoicing
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are always at a loggerhead. They never agreed. Every statement is a sore point from where conflict arises and intensifies. “I don’t want peace,” “I don’t want peace,” the popular soundtrack on social media are the words that best describe their lives and marriage.
As Mr. And Mrs. Johnson sat before me in the office, I was able to find some habits that are the root causes of their constant imbroglio. It was a long therapy session, but we were able to identify the problems!
There are a few words of wisdom I offered to them. I have been married for twenty-two years and I will be fifty next month, so I have garnered a few things along the line. Below are some of the advice I gave them.
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage 1. Do not report your spouse to your parents or in-laws. It wouldn’t always work out. Every parent is sentimental towards their children. It is just natural. The bias is as sure as your palms.
Emotions will flare, and there would be bias.
What happens mostly is that you report to them when there are issues, but you don’t call them back when you settle the issues. So they keep making up their minds over time. You keep feeding them with negative stories and you know what, words are so powerful. In no time, if they are not cautious, they will continue to regurgitate all you fed them with and that would be toxic to your marriage.
The only time you should report to parents is when it is only the parents that your spouse listens to.
As singles, you are not yet married, and you are already reporting each other to your prospective in-laws. It is not a good way to go.
It’s akin to one cooking food that he won’t be able to eat.
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage
2. Do not report your spouse to your colleagues or boss.
If you do, the devil can take advantage of the situation and set you up for an emotional affair.
Once there is an emotional affair, you are only a few touches away from a full-blown adulterous affair.
The beak cake you don’t want to eat, don’t fry it! Reporting your spouse or your loved one continually is a breach of the covenant. Imagine someone hearing a one-sided story many times. The advice you will be offered will be imbalanced and the emotional dependency that will be created from such a relationship will be parasitic at the end of the day.
For singles, in courtship, how do you take advice about your relationship from a friend who is not in any relationship? Something is not quite right! Look for someone who has done what you are trying to do!
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage
3. Do not manipulate your spouse emotionally
Once your spouse says something or does something that does not resonate with you, you simply shut down and withdraw to your shell.
It is more or less like breeding strife. The devil can take advantage of this type of emotional manipulation and wreak even more havoc.
This is not the right thing to do as it affects your prayer life!
Stay together!
May God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray to God to open your eyes
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 6:23 (MSG) For sound advice is a beacon, good teaching is a light, moral discipline is a life path.
