When Solomon decides to write about ladies or women, you better listen. You will never be able to break his record. Seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines is a Guinness Book of Records feat.
Solomon had them all, the tall, the short, the neither tall nor short, the light complexioned, the dark complexioned, the in-between, the choleric, the sanguine, the phlegmatic, the melancholy and the ones without temperament, if there is anything like that! When Solomon sleeps with a woman, he tells her ‘see you in some two years time.’ The roster is a long one! I wondered how he fed them and how many children he had! Solomon’s harem was a whole city!
Even though he was the wisest man, at a time, he began to make mistakes and started marrying strange women. These strange women had some characteristics and he writes about them. Let’s see what he wrote.
1. God’s word has the capacity to keep you from the strange woman.
It will protect you from them. So, you must find a way out of your busy schedule to read God’s word daily.
My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart. Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman: That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words (Proverbs 7:1-5 KJV)
2. Her targets are men without understanding.
For at the window of my house I looked through my casement, And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house (Proverbs 7:6-8 KJV)
Message Translation calls them men without sense. When you see a man looking for Jericho traps with strangers, the scriptures refers to such a man as lacking understanding.
3. Her operations are usually at the night
In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night (Proverbs 7:9 KJV)
Strange women don’t sleep in the night, that is when they work.
4. There is a dressing of the strange woman.
And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart (Proverbs 7:10 KJV)
You can know a strange woman by how she dresses. Her dressing is in no way decent. The Message Translation says she is deliberately dressed to seduce! Listen to me, young ladies, never dress to seduce. Lest you be caught with a strange spirit. The purpose of dressing is never to seduce!
5. She hardly stays at home, she is always moving around, from campuses to another from cities to another.
(She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner (Proverbs 7:11-12 KJV)
The strange woman is everywhere, tempting seducing and stubbornly looking for preys.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am guided by God. I have wisdom.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will keep you from falling into wrong hands
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Talk to Wisdom as to a sister. Treat Insight as your companion. They’ll be with you to fend off the Temptress–– that smooth–talking, honey–tongued Seductress (Proverbs 7:4-5 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Check your life and make adjustments with the help of God’s Spirit
Good morning, married folk out there. God bless your marriage. God is committed until your marriage becomes all it has the potential to become.
Your marriage can work out beautifully well. You can enjoy and have that dream marriage you always desire. Don’t for once ever feel it can never happen.
If you believe it can never happen, gosh, you just announced it won’t happen. Don’t give up, but be willing and obedient to do and give your marriage all it takes to make it work.
You know married couples should begin to have this attitude of ‘my marriage is personal and I got to make it work’.
You know while growing up, my dad will always say this proverb, ‘ as you lay your bed, so you will lie on it’. Then, I would wonder, why is he worried about how I lay my bed?
I don’t care about how my bed is, once I hit the bed, I don’t have enough time to notice how it is, I just sleep.
Later, I realized it’s not just about my physical bed, but it’s about life generally. Talking about our physical bed, it’s very good to learn to make our beds well and train our kids to do so too.
Someone said, laying your bed before leaving the house every morning gives you a sense of achievement. It may look small, but somewhere in your sub-conscious you feel good, you have at least a good, well laid bed…lol
For us married, the bed is also very important.
Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
My husband will jokingly say, the bed is the most important furniture to the couple. I want to agree with that.
The bed is the legalized furniture for love making. Of course not the only furniture, several others have joined in the quest for ‘orgasmic’ love making.
Now, talking about focusing on your marriage, you have to decide what you want your marriage to look like. No doubt there are a lot of factors that may want to stand against this but you have to stand your ground. Stand your ground to live a worthy legacy for your children and generation yet unborn.
Focus on your marriage to make it work at all cost and against all odds. Lay the bed on your marriage well, so you can enjoy all the beauty in your own marriage. Lean all the principles you need to learn, drop all bad habits you need to drop. Break all pride, cockiness, selfishness, deception and let your own marriage work.
If you are separated, decide what you want, walk with God and let him show you what next to do. Whichever way, God loves you and still wants the very best for you.
How to focus on your own marriage
1. Focus on yourself You are a vital part of that marriage. Discover yourself. Who are you? What are your desires, what makes you come alive, what makes you enjoy living? Love yourself. Be a happy you.
2. Focus on your spouse As a married person, the most important human being on earth is your spouse. Begin to treat him /her as such. Let nothing absolutely come in between that. Let the whole world know, your spouse is so important to you.
Some people treat their wives like ‘one kobo’ and expect her to treat them like ‘ a million dollar’, it ain’t gonna work that way.
Seize every opportunity to let everyone know this one human being is number one on your list.
3. Focus on God Now, it will be very foolish to want to focus on yourself and spouse and leave God out. It can not work. God is the center that holds the pieces all together. God is the vital force that crowns all our efforts with success.
4. Focus on your strength You have strengths. Whether it’s your beauty, your home making skills, your intellect, your being jovial, whatever it is, focus on it. It’s your selling point in your marriage. Don’t let go of your strong points.it is what will make your spouse keep coming back to you.
5. Focus on minimizing your weaknesses Don’t ever make the mistake of pretending your weaknesses don’t exit. Don’t ignore them. Your weaknesses have the potential of destroying the marriage you are building, so destroy your weaknesses before they ever destroy your marriage.
6. Focus on satisfying yourselves Why should you spend your energy, time, money on trying to please or satisfy another man’s wife? That’s called wastage.
Don’t go into an unprofitable venture. Ask yourself, if I satisfy her, how does it add to me or make my own marriage better?
Tend your own garden. When it’s harvest time, you won’t go and harvest on another man’s farm. It is not your own, so focus and build your own marriage.
Pro 12:11 He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread: but he that followeth vain persons is void of understanding.
God bless you and bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to embrace your love
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 49:16 (GW) I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. Your walls are always in my presence.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Focus on your marriage BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Matthew 4; Luke 4 – 5
We will be looking at communication during love making. By communication, I mean both verbal and non-verbal communication. During love making, should there be talking? Or it should be as silent as a graveyard?
Another question is, should the room or any where you choose be dark, poorly lighted or fully lighted? That another question we will be looking at today.
All these questions are what you may be asking or is on your mind and we will together throw more light on them.
Well, your comments will be highly appreciated and welcome. Let’s know what happens in the ‘other room’. This can help another couple out there.
In my opinion what happens in ‘the other room’ is as the couples want it. However, being rigid to a particular mould is what may not be too good for the marriage. In my own marriage, we do more of non verbal communication to verbal.
Because our foreplay is usually very long (I strongly recommend this for couples except for quickies). We delight ourselves in each other during foreplay, where we get to explore our bodies. This time, we are free to talk, play and tease ourselves. But during intercourse, we don’t talk much, but a lot of moans! And then we also talk after.
My husband feels (and I agree with him because it works for us,) that talking breaks his flow and concentration. We like to savour every moment. It helps us enjoy each other more. That may be entirely different with you! Talking may just be your trigger!
Some people believe all kinds of dirty talks are allowed and that it is those dirty talks that make them reach orgasm. Let’s have your view.
For the second question, do you like it pitch dark, partially or fully lighted?
I remember when we were newly married, I used to like it when the lights are off. That was when I was shy. But I am no longer particular after I have been married for twenty-two years.
My husband has always liked it when the light are on. And his explanation was simple, “Don’t you know that men are moved by sight?”
As I said earlier, variety is the spice of marriage. We have the lights on now and sometimes, partially lighted.
Let’s hear your opinion. What is going on in your own marriage?
I am waiting for your responses.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love my spouse unconditionally
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 5:19 (ESV) As a loving hind and a pleasant doe, let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss with your spouse based on the topic of today
There is something the sea will see and it will flee. Even Jordan will not be left out, as it will be driven back, despite its fierceness. The mountain in all its grandeur, its intimidating size and gargantuan posture will be humbled, and disgraced as it will skip like rams! The little hills will skip like lambs, and we all know that lambs are so harmless.
3 The sea saw it, and fled: Jordan was driven back. 4 The mountains skipped like rams, and the little hills like lambs. 5 What ailed thee, O thou sea, that thou fleddest? thou Jordan, that thou wast driven back? 6 Ye mountains, that ye skipped like rams; and ye little hills, like lambs? 7 Tremble, thou earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob; 8 Which turned the rock into a standing water, the flint into a fountain of waters (Psalms 114:3-8 KJV)
The issues you have as a single or married, may be tumultuous like the sea, it may roar its waves and even boast of so many that it has drowned, but there is something the problems of your life will see and it will flee and run away as in terror.
The sea which has its waves and billows against your face, that which has stood proudly like the red sea before you will flee! Yes there is something it just needs to see!
Jordan will see something and be driven back! It is said that Jordan runs north and south, and nearly in the middle of Israel’s entire length. Are there issues and problems that seem to run through your entire lineage and family? Are there issues that seem to be the trend in your family and you can already see such tendencies in your own life? Listen to me this morning; fear not, because Jordan, despite its entire 251 kilometers in length will be driven back in your life!
Are there things that look like mountains in your life? Massive issues that looks like everlasting problems and keeping you from having marital fulfillment? Hindrances and obstructions in your way that seems to say that marriage is impossible? Well, there is something every mountain will see, and the seemingly gigantic hindrances will skip without a skipping rope!
What about little hills? Skirmishes here and there? Academic issues, emotional issues, financial issues, health issues and many more, they are all little hills that seem to hold you back, but they will see something and they will become as powerless like lambs!
But what will the sea and Jordan see? What will the mountains see? What will the little hills see?
Well, it is the PRESENCE OF GOD!
The presence of God, when you cultivate it regularly will drive every problem away from your life and give you a resounding victory. The light will shine and darkness will not be able to withstand it
Now the very pertinent question is “How do you cultivate God’s presence?” Here are some clues
1. Read God’s word everyday! Don’t miss it. Use the devotional here. 2. Pray in the Spirit daily. 3. Make sure all hurts and bitterness are dealt with. Forgive all. 4. Have an attitude of Thanksgiving and Worship. Learn to worship God daily. 5. Stay away from sin. Cut off from negative associations. 6. Serve in God’s house. Commit your time and resources.
The list is not exhaustive but they are some things you can do. Go for the presence of God and you will be glad you do so!
May God grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY By praise, I am relocating into my destiny!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a heart that praises you genuinely
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Judah became holy land for him, Israel the place of holy rule. (Psalms 114:2 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find some time to praise God
‘I choose to forgive you for the bad words you have said to me.’ These were the words Tatiana said to Mercy before she turned away and started walking home.
Earlier that day, Mercy and her gang of bullies had done all they could to get Tatiana to lose her cool and start a fight. From spreading gossip about John and her kissing under the stairs during recess, to purposely pouring water on her. Can she forgive?
Tatiana didn’t lose her temper because she knew what they were trying to do. And she had made a vow to God that she wouldn’t answer back at Mercy. Her vow to Him was more important than anything the bully gang did or said. What mattered most was her vow to and relationship with God. And that was one of the reasons she found strength to forgive.
So instead of speaking or fighting back, choose to render forgiveness. You could say “I forgive you”, to the person’s face or in your heart. Not because you are afraid of them, but because that is what God wants you to do.
Remember the part in our Lord’s Prayer that talks about forgiving those who trespass against us? (“and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.” – Matthew 6:12). That is exactly what how God wants you to live. That is exactly what God desires you do when your friends annoy you – ignore them and forgive.
I pray that God will give you the power to choose to forgive. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Prayer: Father, help me to choose forgiveness over retaliation. And as I render forgive, may I receive forgiveness too, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Action Plan: Practice forgiveness all the time. Practice to just let go.
1. Do not pass the night in his house If you do, you can end up pleasing him and offending God. Losing God’s support and favor is not what anybody should experience
2. Do not succumb to any sexual pressures Stay sane. Stay strong. Do not melt like stew every time someone touches you. You are not a sexual toy. You are not a sexual object. Relationships that are sex driven do not last.
3.Do not double date Don’t welcome deception into your heart. It is a dangerous visitor. The capacity to cheat on him or her is a capacity that ends in destruction. Be faithful.
4. Do not fall into comparison traps We are all unique. We will not all take off at the same time and sure enough arrival points will be different.
2Co 10:12 (KJV) For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
5. Do not sow seed of bitterness Avoid use of wrong words. Words are spirits! Let go of abusive words, vulgar words and curse words. Speak healthy words
6. Encourage him in that which is good Be an encourager. Be a helper. Seek his advancement.
7. Seek God together and for each other Pray a lot for him. Seek for God and do it with all your heart.
Jer 29:13 (KJV) And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
8. Pay attention to your spiritual life Grow. Read. Learn. Serve.
Ask questions when you are in the presence of great people.
9. Get a mentor over your relationship. Mentors will fence off tormentors of destinies. Stay connected.
10. Avoid strife completely Strife ushers in dryness. Avoid it like a plague. Confusion lies on the bosom of strife.
Jas 3:16 (KJV) For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
May God grant more understanding on how to love God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The Lord is my helper
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for grace to love God.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 3:3 (KJV) But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
Talking about gratitude or being grateful, I think every couple should be overly grateful to their spouse. Not only is it for the woman to be grateful but also for the man. We all owe ourselves a lifetime of gratitude.
If not for anything, that he/she married you. You know how difficult it could be, being married to you. The times you threw tantrums, the times you were ‘mad’ (literally), the time you did not understand yourself, the time you were under pressure, the time you were in debt, the time when you were sick and all these times your spouse stood with and by you.
I think we all should throw a gratitude party and make our spouses the special guest of honour.
But instead, what do we have? A grateful wife and a complaining husband. I think we all should repent. If only we could change roles we would see that it has not been easy.
If the woman changes roles and becomes the man for a while and the man becomes the woman, we would appreciate our spouses more. The truth is that there is a lot of work in being either of the spouses. Let no one blow his/her own trumpet.
But I want to shed more light on how the wife can use gratitude as a weapon to win the battles on the home front. Well not really battles but more of confrontations.
All women have the tendencies to nag and complain. There are so many things the wife wants to change in her husband. She’s an emotional relational being and so sees all the wrong things her husband does.
The route of complaining and nagging will never work. If anything, it will make your husband battle-ready. The role of the wife is that of influence. Before you can adequately influence, you must have accepted him.
Acceptance comes with praise, gratitude, and thanksgiving. Be grateful first for the hundred thousand before complaining that he didn’t give you a million. Be grateful for the trash he threw out even though he didn’t mow the grass.
I can give so many examples and show us many opportunities we have to be grateful for. As a wife, let gratitude be your daily weapon. Let no day pass without you being grateful. Look for something to be grateful for and do it enthusiastically.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love for my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me more wisdom and grace in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh–flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose–– don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore (Proverbs 5:18-20 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to settle all quarrels amicably
A wide and pleasant smile plastered over Tade’s face as he collected the bowl of food from the food seller at the school’s canteen. He couldn’t hold back the urge to pick a piece of meat and slide it into his mouth. But anger was lurking somewhere in the corner!
He had hardly taken two bites when someone crashed into him, sending both him and the plate of food to the ground. To make matters worse, his uniform was soiled with oil.
His eyes went from the food on the floor to the culprit standing over him. He heard the whole canteen go up in laughter as he focused on Yinka, his anger rising.
‘Why did you push me?’ he asked Yinka. Yinka chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. Tade saw this and just like all the other times like this, he knew Yinka would never apologize. This fueled his anger the more. ‘That was my lunch.’ ‘So?’ Yinka said, daring Tade to do his worst.
Tade bolted up in a flash and smacked Yinka straight in the face, followed by punches in the stomach and a powerful one to the jaw. Yinka staggered back, tasted the blood in his mouth, and spat out a tooth. Anger now ruled in the boys. Instantly Yinka responded with his own punches and the fight began.
At the end of the day, both boys were sitting in the Principal’s office with oil-stained uniforms, swollen faces, missing teeth, painful torsos, and no lunch.
Getting angry and acting out the anger, just like what happened in the story above, is why you shouldn’t let your anger control you. Tade got angry at what Yinka had done and attacked him, leading Yinka to act out his anger also. In the end, both boys had lost a lot.
When you hit back at someone, you likely will do so more than they hit back at you. And the person will also hit back at you more than you did. The cycle continues like that till it escalates to a point when both of you would have lost so much at the end. That is how anger cycles.
May God grant you the grace to hold back your anger. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, give me the grace to not be angry and act out my anger. Help me to keep my cool. Amen.
Action point: Pray that God will help you handle your anger well.
Men’s need for respect is almost top of the list. Every man, your husband inclusive need a high dose of it.
Women who know their onions and wish to make a success of this journey called marriage, must learn how to give it.
Respect must be given on the husband terms, not on your own terms.
Some wives even try to resist offering respect to their husbands or only give it when he is well behaved on their terms. Every wife should know that the man is naturally a fighter. You put up a fight, he gives you in doses you never expect.
In the bible, we read about an exceptional, unforgettable lady by name of Abigail. She was so unforgettable that King David couldn’t keep her off her mind until her husband died and he married her. Abigail’s secret virtue was simple. She was respectful.
She knows how to use her words to encourage in a very respectful way. In her conversation with David when Nabal, Abigail’s husband acted foolishly, she called him ‘Lord’ fourteen times.
I mean that is huge. She kept calling him ‘lord’. She even prophesied about David becoming king. I believe when you are giving respectful encouragement, God will even put prophecies in your mouth like normal conversations.
The world is already full of discouraging words, which your husband has heard all day long. He needs to come home, to a haven, a resting place of peace where the wife showers him with positive words.
Let every woman on this platform make a new commitment to be the number one cheerleader and encourager of her husband. Don’t worry about the words to use, God will honor your commitment and give you utterance.
And I believe your husband will see your efforts and also appreciate it. But if he doesn’t, don’t worry, God is a rewarder and He will reward you.
You can ask your husband to tell you in what ways you need to show respect to him. What are the things you do that are disrespectful to him and what are the little gestures you can do that mean a lot of respect to him?
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my husband’s best encourager.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask for wisdom to know the right words to use that show respect to my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 (MSG) The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
One basic ingredient that makes relationships work out is understanding.
Even after the will of God is known and you are sure this person is God’s perfect will for you, you still have to live to understanding each other.
Understanding is like the Space Suit the astronauts wear to make them survive in space. The atmospheric condition in space requires a special outfit that will sustain them there.
Here on earth you can survive with your tuxedo suit but not in the space.
It is therefore imperative for people in relationships to seek after understanding.
First the understanding of the relationship from God’s perspective and then seeking to understand yourselves.
Little wonder the Bible says in
Pro 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
God is telling you, get wisdom, now that you have gotten engaged, get understanding.
Without understanding and wisdom, the courtship becomes like a court where there are always arguments, criticisms, being judgmental, and the likes.
To understand yourselves you have to have basic knowledge of your temperamental differences, man and woman differences, background differences, and the personality uniqueness of each other.
For us when we were courting back then in the early nineties, once we read the book on temperament by Tim LaHaye, our level of understanding increased.
Things that used to get us angry before simply didn’t anymore because now we could understand the reason behind certain behaviors.
Now, it wasn’t that we explained away our weaknesses and character flaws, we confronted ourselves but with love and respect.
The understanding we gained just gave us another perspective helping us to see each other from a better viewpoint.
1Co 13:4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
Love basically is patient and kind.
Without understanding, you can’t be patient and kind with your lover.
May God grant you understanding in understanding your loved one in Jesus name.
May your relationship be blessed in Jesus name.
This week will be fruitful for you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the spirit of understanding
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 32:8 (KJV) But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding.
Your actions are important in dealing with anger. Jesus told the disciples to go into the world and share the Good News with all people.
“And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to all creature.” Mark 16:15 KJV
This command is carried out by Christians through evangelism. They move from one place to another telling people about Christ. Now, with the internet all over the place, evangelism has moved from physically moving about to just pressing a button to disseminate a message worldwide. What this means is that your actions are not just about you; they are also about Christ.
Imagine someone says something nasty to you and quickly, you reply to them with much the same words or actions they meted out to you. What if the other person isn’t a Christian? Or a baby Christian? How do you think they will think of you?
“Oh, and he is a Christian.” “He says he is born-again; look at his actions.” “His parents are pastors.” “He is a member of the choir.”
These are some of the thoughts that would cross their minds. These thoughts are judging you (your actions) as a Christian, because you are supposed to show Christ in your actions. Yes, people will push you to do or say things you wouldn’t do normally, but you still have to remember that you are a light that points others to Christ. Your actions matter!
May you receive the strength to hold back and let Christ be revealed through you. Amen.
Before you respond in anger again, remember that your actions matter… and that you are representing God on earth. I pray that your actions will always show forth Christ.
Prayer: Lord, Jesus, make me a continual light guiding people to you. Help me to resist the urge to lash out in anger. Help me to take charge of my actions. In your mighty name, I pray, amen.
Action point: Pray and meditate on bible verses that show how to tame your tongue.
The issue of in-laws is a very important one. If you have in-laws and they live in the town where you live, proximity should be handled with care.
In laws ought to wish their children the best at least to the best of their knowledge.
I believe it is best before marriage to prepare your heart to accommodate your in-laws in a cordial relationship. It is also good to accept them for who they are.
I am so blessed, when it comes to my in laws. My father, brother and sisters in law are so warm, I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
Both in laws live in another town from us and it’s a blessing (although it has its own disadvantages).
So when some of our married couples begin to say their issues about in-laws I just wonder. Nonetheless, it’s an issue that affects our home and marriage and so has to be addressed.
Here are some helpful hints.
1. It is wrong to discuss your spouse with your parents and in-laws.
2. Getting in touch and staying in touch has to be done by the couple at both ends.
3. If an in-law has to stay with you, it has to be your joint consent. If your spouse is not in agreement, you have to pray about it. Until there is consent, don’t go ahead.
4. If your in-laws need financial support (brother or sister) you should decide together how much you will give.
5. It is your responsibility to send financial support to your parents and in-laws every month or otherwise as the case may be.
6. In the event that a sick parent or in-law has to stay with you, you must give your wife all the support she needs, emotional, physical and financial. Make her comfortable taking care of them.
7. Don’t let any in-law come in between you. You are married and nothing should change that.
8. In case you are parents in waiting, don’t allow the pressures of your in laws to tear you apart.
9. No one should encroach on your privacy. Don’t allow or permit it. You are married to your spouse.
10. You must put your foot down when it comes to protecting your spouse. But you also need the wisdom of God. So make sure you pray for wisdom and God’s help.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have God’s wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God strengthens you to make the right decisions
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hosea 14:4 I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him.
Being calm in the face of anger and thinking about the situation is a great strength you can wield as a child. It’s also a sign that you are maturing into a balanced adult. When a person is saying words that you feel are offensive or carrying out actions that seem to offend you, ask if they are saying the truth. Seeking to know if their words are truthful can help you to understand certain things about yourself.
Giving thoughts to the words or actions of others before reacting or even after doing so helps you look inwards at yourself. You pick out the truths and apply them to your life and start making changes. Don’t look at how they said or did it – yes, it could be harsh, but look at the truth in what they are saying. You should be concerned about how to use the truths in their words and actions to better yourself.
Sometimes you could be the cause of why people do the things they do you. Are you a bully? Do you gossip about your friends? Are you a disloyal friend? Asking yourself such deep questions will lead you to the truth.
Even if you are not the cause of it, still remember to keep your cool and maintain your stand in Christ. There’s nothing to gain by retaliating with a quick outburst. Take a chill pill and let the Spirit of God teach you what to do; He is the Spirit of truth.
Finally, you can always pray to God for the grace to hold back your tongue and think before speaking; and to always speak in line with the truth when you speak.
“Lord, help me control my tongue. Help me be careful about what I say.” Psa. 143:3 ICB
Prayer:
Lord, help me learn from what people say or do to me. Show me where I am the problem. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
Action point: Take your time to listen when next someone angers you with their words or actions. Listen for the truth.
Fear is palpable in the air. Bandits and herdsmen are ravaging the land. People in their hundreds are being kidnapped or killed. Covid did its own. A good investment today is to invest in hand sanitizers and nose masks.
In the midst of all these, and as a child of God, here are some questions that need answers from Psalms 91.
1. Where are you dwelling?
Verse1 : He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
The word dwell is important. It means to stay and take permanent residence. His protection over my life and your life is predicated on my proximity to His presence. My vulnerability increases when I stroll away from His presence. When I dabble into unrepentant sins, my protection is no longer guaranteed. Disobedience can be costly.
Thank God for His grace, but shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? You have to dwell. That is the secret of abiding. When you abide, you are protected. When you are entangled with sexual sins, you are no longer in the secret place; you are in an open place, an easy target of the evil one! The more Samson sinned; the more his vulnerability increased. Sin is a destroyer, but His mercy beckons, and it is never too late to make amend.
2. What are you saying?
Verse 2: I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
In the spiritual realm, your mouth is your might. What are you saying? What a man utters can lead him into the gutter. With the mouth, you confess that Jesus is Lord, and your life is altered for good. With the mouth, a man can make commitments to the devil and his soul is sold. Are you speaking faith or verbalizing fear?
Your life will always move in the direction of your words. Learn to speak God’s word always by putting His word in your heart. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. The power of life and death lies in your tongue!
3. Do you know you are delivered?
Verse 3: Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
His provision for your deliverance is not an afterthought. It has been settled. The word, is “SURELY” It is settled. You will not be a victim of kidnap. The snare of the devil is broken, we have escaped.
4. Do you really trust Him? Is His truth your shield and buckler?
Verse 4: He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
His feathers cover you. Those feathers are impenetrable. Do you trust in His everlasting arms to protect you? The word ‘trust” is a strong word. Think about it. Do you really trust Him? It is your trust in Him that delivers the good. Remember how you trusted your mum or your dad when you were little? His truth is His word. That is your shield and buckler. God’s word, studied daily becomes your protection!
5. Have you made the choice of refusing to fear?
Verse 5 & 6 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day, Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
Thou shall not be afraid…there will be things that will scare the life out of you, there will be things that will shake the foundation of your faith, there will be life-threatening issues that will cause you to sweat in an air-conditioned room, there will be happenstances that will cause your heart to palpitate, there will be news that will unsettle you and seek to break you down…but in all of that, the instruction is very clear, thou shall not be afraid! It is a choice you have to make because your response will make all the difference!
Nighttime: There is a terror Day time: There is an arrow that flieth.. Darkest time: There is a pestilence that walketh… Brightest time or noonday: There is a destruction that wasteth…
In all of this, you must not be afraid because
At all times: There is God in heaven, there is Jesus with me, and there is the Spirit of God living in me!
The terror, the arrow, the pestilence, and the destruction are all invalidated over my life, because of the Holy One of Israel, the Lord of Hosts is His name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not afraid. God has got me covered. There is no fear in me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from the terror by night and put me where there is no fear
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ps 91:1 [KJV] He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to dwell in the secret place where there is no fear
1. I will pursue my career, it is my life, don’t hinder me
Some married couples see their spouses as hindrances to fulfilling their careers, dreams, and desires. This is rather dysfunctional because, in God’s idea of marriage, your spouse is supposed to be an added advantage to the success of your career and dreams. No wonder the Bible says,’ One will chase a thousand, two will put ten thousand to flight’. This is a good deal, don’t you think? Your partner is supposed to push you ahead 10,000 times more. When you begin to feel otherwise, something is definitely wrong.
Maintaining balance between your career and relationship is one of the greatest achievements you can have in life.
2. My spouse cannot fully satisfy my needs, I need some other emotional affairs.
Well, in the agenda of God, your spouse is not supposed to play God and completely meet all your needs – that’s why ultimately your relationship with God is still your most vital relationship. Nonetheless, you do not need any form of an emotional affair, especially with any opposite sex. Your love relationship with your spouse should be such that you are satisfied and contented with the one God gave you needing no emotional gratification from any other.
For singles, this lie can open you up to double dating and emotional affairs, which are dangerous habits, because it is the rehearsal for extra marital affairs. You are supposed to be faithful, even emotionally.
3. Being vulnerable is not the best, you need to have some self defence mechanism
Usually, any self-defence mechanism that is not from the spirit of God will eventually lead to regret. God wants us to follow him and to do that wholly. Different people develop different defence mechanisms. Some don’t share their deepest longings; desires or aspirations, thinking if they do, this vital information will be used against them.
Some keep extended family issues away from their spouse, saying, ‘it’s my family issue, it’s none of your business.’ This is very defective because once you are married; you no longer have two families but one big family.
4. I need to have some people I get advice from without my spouse’s knowledge.
I am not saying you should not seek counsel. Remember in the midst of godly counsel, there is direction. However, the counsel is qualified – it has to be godly. That the Bible says ‘godly’ means there will be ungodly counsels too. One major characteristic of godly counsel is that it will seek to lead you more towards God and a well-balanced relationship. If this is the aim, then it should not be secretive, kept away from your spouse. Any relationship your spouse does not know of or approve of will eventually lead to negative repercussions.
5. Little lies in your relationship are inevitable.
Some people feel lies are part and parcel of any relationship. Some even say ladies are wired to believe lies, they prefer lies to truth. Well, this is an ungodly myth that is a wrong seed in your marriage or relationship. It will eventually yield unpleasant fruits. There are no little or big lies, white, grey, or black lies. A lie is nothing but a lie. One degree away from the truth is a lie. Sincerity becomes a priceless ingredient in the making of a godly marriage or relationship.
I pray that God will help us more and continue to open our eyes of understanding to know Him more and understand His ways better.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The counsel of God is my delight. I have the wisdom to stay away from dangerous habits.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to stay on the path of truth and prevent you from falling into these dangerous habits.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient:all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any (1 Corinthians 6:12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life and make amends
Married couples, your marriage vows are very sacred and needs to be kept as such. Extramarital affairs should be avoided at all costs. Marriage should be held in high esteem and the bed must remain undefiled.
We should always make sure we fulfill our roles as married couples. Marriage is for companionship, where both parties stay and stick with each other no matter what.
The chief culprit in developing extra-marital affairs is when either of the party is not a real companion. Real companionship is not just about pictures all over social media.
Issues in marriage don’t have to be left unaddressed. These issues start like ordinary and minor issues. The devil does not attack us at full force all at once. He introduces his attacks in subtle ways.
Every married couple needs a marriage counselor or a mentor, where these issues are addressed.
Extramarital affairs start when we try to meet marital needs outside of the sanctity of marriage. You should never be close to any opposite sex other than your wife or husband.
An attempt to do that is looking for trouble. Don’t ever put yourself into a tight corner. The devil usually set up certain atmosphere for adultery.
I know there are different situations. I have heard of rape cases or situations where the lady was drugged. That’s why it’s good to pray and commit our ways into God’s hands and be led by the Holy Spirit.
The truth is that extramarital relationships are not worth it. The Bible says that stolen waters is sweet but in the end, it’s like gravel in the mouth. Work on your own marriage no matter what.
I know that there are some extreme cases where the husband or wife is so impossible and there’s just a yearning for love and companionship. Just hold on, pray, seek help and trust God will sort it out rather than seek pleasures outside. You will yet smile again.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not have extramarital affairs
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father help me to stand faithful
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 86:11 (KJV) Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Avoid all forms of extramarital affairs
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR 2 Samuel 16 – 18
The first thing you want to do when someone says something bad or hurtful to you is to quickly reply. Well, that’s just you being human and everyone feels that way too. You are no exception; no natural self wants to turn the other cheek.
Rather than allowing your natural self to take over, why not just take a moment to calm down. Take some breaths if you remember to and slowly leave the place or just keep quiet. Turn the other cheek.
This doesn’t make you a fool or weak in any way. Rather, it shows maturity and that you have the Spirit of God working in you. Yeah, the fruit of the Spirit is working in you. One of such fruits is the fruit of love.
Out of love for God, you would rather not say something bad back to the person and instead, just walk away or keep quiet. If it’s a physical situation, you don’t retaliate, but rather turn the other cheek like Jesus said to do:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, don’t stand up against an evil person. If someone slaps you on the right cheek, then turn and let him slap the other cheek too. Matthew 5:38 – 39 ICB
Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean you physically do that. It’s just a figure of speech that means you don’t act upon what the person said or did. You choose to obey God than man.
It can be hard to do, especially if there are others there who are goading to hit or speak back at the person. With practice and prayers to God for help, you will learn how to keep your peace; you will learn how to turn the other cheek.
May the Lord bless you with a spirit of love for Him. Amen
Prayer:
Lord, help me to be calm in situations that could get me angry. Teach me how to quickly let go of my anger. Teach me how to turn the other cheek. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Gen 2:25 (AMP) And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have been married for three years. Blessed with two vibrant princes, their family seems ideal, observing it from the external.
They seem to have everything going for them, good jobs, good pay, nice car, wonderful apartment, yearly vacation, and more goodies anybody would pray for…except for one thing…Mrs. Johnson is unhappy and her energy for “family” is fast ebbing out.
The only reason she is unhappy is because of her handsome husband, the man has changed! Or so it seemed. He doesn’t talk again, he internalizes, makes decisions alone, and acts like his wife has no brain!
This treatment, deliberate or not, can be debilitating for the woman in the house with attendant consequences that are as varied as they could be dangerous.
Now can I tell you in one swoop why keeping secrets within marriage can be very unwise?
It is just this: There is no secret you keep that will not be found out.
It is better for you to open up yourself rather than for your loved one to find out. When they find out themselves, it will erode trust. The devil will capitalise on that, harass their minds and tell them there are more things you are keeping away. Once this happens, it affects everything, even your prayers!
Take a look:
Mar 4:22 (KJV) For there is nothing hid, which shall not be manifested; neither was any thing kept secret, but that it should come abroad.
So, it will be brought open eventually, you wouldn’t want him or her to be the one bringing it to open!
Why would a guy marry a lady only for her to find out later that he already had a child somewhere? I feel that is unfair, really.
Why would couples hide phone messages from each other? I cannot fathom that! Really!
You are married, for God’s sake!
There are some things we might have picked up from cultural affinities, but culture is not scripture!
There are some things we might have picked up from parents, but observation is not revelation!
Why would you build a house in town without your wife’s knowledge? You see there is a difference between marriage and bondage!
Your spouse is given unto you to help you, unless you want to say God is lying, and you know that is not possible.
When you hide stuffs from each other, you have snuffed out the life out of your helper! He or she would become a frustration, almost a hell rather than help! That will not be your portion!
She is going to definitely react to that, and there are some reactions that can be far too much that the whole family is set on edge!
It is even more terrible to now see that what you don’t discuss with your spouse at home is freely discussed with some lover out there!
Yes, I know there could be the possibility of being disappointed by your loved one when you trusted her with some information in the past, but you see marriage is about learning and growing together.
The solution is not always to move away, hide or cut off from the one you are in covenant with but to grow together.
Couples need to understand that the information you are entrusted with should not be found out there with some close friends or even your parents.
Do not allow anybody to put a wedge between you and your loved one!
Eph 4:25 (MSG) What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.
Be open to each other. Don’t hide things from each other. It will bring healing. It will bring freedom. It will erase suspicions. It will build trust.
Yes, I know there might be some difficulty in opening up, not because you want to keep secrets but because that is the way you have been brought up or probably what you observed from your parents. That can be valid.
But its validity is not an excuse in any way. What you must strive to do is to get better everyday, keep learning and keep making adjustments in other to have a good life and be able to raise a great family.
Men, God has entrusted a lot of responsibility into your hands and you cannot fail God. God has made you the head that the whole family might see through you because the eyes are located in the head. You are to give them light and lead them in God’s way.
One day, you will actually become a grand dad! And you really want to be proud of the dynasty that God will raise through you if Christ tarries.
Your role as a man or husband is an assignment from God. Lives are entrusted into your hands and I pray for you this morning that you will not fail God.
Sincerity is not stupidity. Being open does not translate to vulnerability. Being open is strength because it will strengthen your marriage!
Keeping secrets can be a strength when it is not kept from your spouse.
This is how to know if there is a big problem: You can keep secrets from your spouse, but you cannot keep it from those outside! Now, that really needs some attention and counseling!
I pray that God will open your eyes the more and help you to make necessary adjustments in Jesus’ name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am open to my loved one. I will not hide things from him/her
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
I receive grace to be sincere
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mar 4:22 (MSG) We’re not keeping secrets, we’re telling them; we’re not hiding things, we’re bringing them out into the open.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read books on how to be a good spouse
I’m sure you have felt angry before. The feeling you have inside your heart when someone or something gets under your skin; that’s anger. You feel all the blood pumping inside your heart, ready to release some very harsh words through your mouth and actions. When it’s a person, you want to say bad words to them or harm them back. If it’s a situation you might likely scream out or yell or hit the wall or something.
Everyone feels anger. It’s a human emotion. Even God that isn’t human feels anger. Jesus felt angry when He saw how the people turned the temple into a market place.
But it was almost time for the Jewish Passover Feast. So Jesus went to Jerusalem. In the Temple he found men selling cattle, sheep, and doves. He saw others sitting at tables, exchanging money. Jesus made a whip out of cords. Then he forced all these men, with the sheep and cattle, to leave the Temple. He turned over the tables and scattered the money of the men who were exchanging it. Then he said to those who were selling pigeons, “Take these things out of here! Don’t make my Father’s house a place for buying and selling!” John 2:13-16 ICB
Anger isn’t necessarily bad on its own. It’s what you do or say when you’re angry that is the major issue with getting angry.
Jesus spoke about anger in the bible. He showed how to not let your anger remain in your heart overnight. If your sibling offends you in the morning and you remain angry at them till the next day, that’s bad. That’s what Jesus was talking about
You will face some situations in life that are beyond your control and get angry because of this. People will do or say stuff that you don’t like to you or someone close to you. That’s just the way life is.
In this series, we will be looking at how you, as a child, can and should handle anger.
I pray that God will give His Holy Spirit to minister to you. in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, help me deal with every spirit of anger in me. Amen.
There are important things to note in the area of falling in love as singles. I will share briefly five of them.
1. Relationship or marriage does not succeed just because you are a child of God
Yes, and I mean every word of that statement. Just because you are a child of God or you can speak in tongues does not mean you understand how to accommodate another human being in your life! You can be a child of God and still be ignorant of the principles to live by. It is therefore important to note that going after knowledge and self-development is important. Make it a commitment to do yourself that good. Decide to improve yourself before falling in love.
You want to get married in two years; the question is what books are you reading in that regard? What is your temperament? Someone was once asked what her temperament was and she said, do you mean all those “sardine tins?” Well, it is not “sardine,” it’s sanguine! Relationship and marriage succeed because you work at it and you work the godly principles.
2. Being in love with a person does not translate to direction from God You can fall in love with someone and yet it is not God’s plan for your life. The direction of your feelings and emotions is not necessarily a direction from God. Yes, God can use your desires to lead you and that is why I often tell people, make sure you pray before you fall in love! Once you are in love before praying, it can really be a difficult time hearing God because your emotions are involved. There is a difference between asking God for direction and asking Him to bless your decision.
3. You will fall in love with whomever you spend time
If you don’t want to become emotionally connected to that person, don’t spend time with such person. You know that his wife has travelled, and then you go and spend hours with him regularly? Doing what? You see, the flames of emotions are going to be fanned and if you are not careful, you are going to be getting involved in what you will regret later. A married person is a “No Go” area, so why waste your time, emotions and energy on relationships that God will never approve of? Why delay what God wants to do in your life with what you feel like doing?
4. Strife will stifle you and bitterness will not make you better If there is anything you should avoid like Ebola, it is strife and bitterness. It will practically cause things to be grounded. Stay away from such, so that God’s blessing can be yours at the maximum.
5. You need God’s favour in this new month
Connect yourself to God’s covenant of favour! Favour will announce you this month! That favour of God will introduce you to new circles of relationships that will advance your life. You will not struggle this month! My God and my father will surround you with His mercy. Your husband will locate you. You will find your wife. Every spirit of delay is cursed and terminated in your life. You will carry your own children. Fruitfulness is your portion. You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. God will smile on you. He will turn His countenance upon you. He will bless you financially. Things will fall in pleasant places for you in the coming year. You will get that job. That contract will be yours!
And of Naphtali he said, O Naphtali, satisfied with favour, and full with the blessing of the Lord: possess thou the west and the south. (Deuteronomy 33:23 KJV)
You will be satisfied with favour! You will be treated well. You will not be cheated. You will advance. God will fill your mouth with laughter. He will heal every hurt and wound and give you a double blessing for every trouble. Get ready for a great time ahead in God, it is your time, it is your season! It is your season of falling in love!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My relationship is blessed. I know what to do in the area of falling in love.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for divine wisdom in the area of falling in love.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Deut 33:23 (NLT) Moses said this about the tribe of Naphtali: “O Naphtali, you are rich in favor and full of the LORD’s blessings; may you possess the west and the south
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read books on relationship and marriage
