There is nothing wrong with loving your wife or wife-to-be. There is nothing wrong with thinking about her. In fact, the scripture advises you to do that. Before you say hurray, however, there is a way you love your fiancée and there is a way you love your wife.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love (Proverbs 5:18-19 KJV)
This is talking to married people and not singles in courtship. It didn’t say, rejoice with the fiancée of thy youth or with your wife to be…
So verse 19 clearly establishes that God does not want you fondling and caressing each other. That is always the beginning of compromise.
When two people who are genuinely in love start petting each other, they will always do more and more each time they meet until they find themselves entangled in the web of compromise. It is called the law of progression and it happens all the time.
I know how your body feels when you are in love. I was once in love back then on the campus in the early nineties, and oh my God! Your body is mostly on fire!
You can continue to spiritualize it and deceive yourself that nothing can happen until you find yourself messing up. Or you can tell your fiancée, please, you have got to help me. I am in love with you and this is how my body feels. We must not compromise. Always caution me, if I am being inappropriate! And sometimes, it is the lady that needs to say that to the guy!
You see, when you do that, you are consciously protecting your destiny and preserving your relationship with God, which is what will make your relationship work out and lead to marriage!
How do you love a lady appropriately?
1. You are the protector of her body and her virtue A good man will say from the very first day, “I love you dearly and because of that, I have a strong physical desire each time I see you, but we will not compromise. We will obey God’s principles in order that our courtship is protected. We will put our bodies under.
I will not allow my body to take charge and give me direction, I will allow my spirit to gain ascendancy and I will not lose my testimony. You make up your mind to wait and not compromise. That way, trust will be established and your intending marriage will be founded on a good foundation.
2. Never lift your hands against her I have heard cases of singles in courtship that have been beaten severely by their fiancé. I have also had a few cases of ladies who slap the guys.
Well, you shouldn’t cope with any form of physical abuse on any level in your courtship. Don’t suffer silently thinking it will get better after marriage.
Deliver yourself like a bird and fly! If he is used to donating a few slaps here and there for you, and you still cling to him in sexual lust, something is seriously wrong. It is either he controls you with his money or there is a soul tie effected through pre-marital sex.
Whichever way, you need to deliver yourself quickly! Don’t go through all of life been treated like a doormat. You have a destiny to fulfill and don’t allow anybody to play the role of “God” in your life.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not being inappropriate. I know how to love my fiancee
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the grace to always put your body under
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings. (Proverbs 5:21 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide how you want to love your fiancee
Do you know you can meet with God as a child? Let’s hear the story of Sade, a 15-year old girl who meets with God everyday. The first thing Sade does every morning is to pray to God. She has set an alarm on her phone that goes off daily at a particular time.
Once her phone starts vibrating, 15-year old Sade gets up from her bed, switches on the light in her room, and begins to pray. After praying, she picks her bible and devotional and starts to read.
This is how she begins her day.
How often do you meet with God? Do you make out time to really meet with Him or spend more time with friends and in front of the TV set or your phone?
Having a special meeting time with God is very necessary as His child. Time spent with God is time that can never be a waste because, in His presence, you will discover more than you can ever imagine.
There are several ways to meet with God. One of them is by putting aside time to spend in his presence praying, reading the bible and, listening to and, for Him to speak with you.
This time must be guarded jealously by you – ensure that nothing or no one tampers with it so that you can maintain and increase your relationship with God.
When you give God an appointment, He is never late. Instead, He will be there waiting for you to show up. So, always show up at the meeting point with God. Do everything possible within your power to keep to that time, and meet with God.
Gen 3:8a, KJV And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day:
Even in the event of things going out of your control, pray to God about it. He knows how to help you keep to the time. He can do all things. God will never allow anything or anybody rob Him of the opportunity to fellowship with you.
That’s how much He cherishes spending time with you. Learn to meet with God.
May the Lord bless you as you spend time with Him. Amen.
Prayer: Dear Lord, I want to have a regular praying time with you. And I need you to also help me keep to this time in Jesus name. Amen.
Action point: Make up your mind right now to have a regular praying time with God, to meet with God everyday.
Declaration: I will meet with God regularly. I will commune with my Father daily in prayers.
How we communicate is very vital. What is being said is important, but how it’s been said is equally important. A brother once had a dream, in the dream, he saw that each time we speak to our spouse harshly, it is like using a stick with many thorns to beat them.
How true this is. Harsh words will only breed hatred, bitterness, suspicion, rejection and more bitterness.
In the beginning, God gave man His presence, work, His Word, to cultivate (the woman), and to provide for her.
A man not in the presence of God, cannot have His word, and of course, cannot nurture his wife with the words God gave him.
You have to be able to pass across divine instructions in such a way that it is followed and obeyed by the wife. I think with each instruction, the man should also consciously ask for the wisdom and Holy Spirit’s help in passing it across and communicate it with his wife
There is always a way or method or wisdom given by the Holy spirit that will best suit your wife of husband as the case maybe.
In 1 Sam 16:1-3, we saw Samuel asked by God to go and anoint a king in the house of Jesse. He said, how can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me. He didn’t jump off with the word of the Lord. He waited and asked God for a way to present it.
Husbands, wives, let us not always run off with the word of the Lord or a word from God. Ask how to communicate it to your wife or husband.
1Sam 16:2 KJV And the Lord said, Take an heifer with thee, and say, I am come to sacrifice to the Lord.’
God taught him how to present the matter.
We will continue on this same topic tomorrow. We will look at saying it in love.
God bless your marriage. CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be distracted in the race of life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to stay focused and consistent
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. “God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you “–– God’ s Decree––” bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it. (Jeremiah 29:14 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Thank God for where you are now in the race of life
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY 1 Samuel 28-31; Psalm 18
In itself, it is not a sin, but it will lead you into sin as there are dangers involved. All through the scriptures, you will never find where it says “thou shall not sleepover in the house of thy loved one.” But is it wise or expedient to do such a thing? No. since it is not wise, we can conclude by saying it is foolish. Therefore, it is plain foolishness to go and sleepover in his place when you are not married.
In life, some things are not necessarily sinful, but they can be dangerous. Using rat poison as a coking ingredient is not a sin, but the experimental cook may not live to tell the story!
1 Cor 6:12 (KJV) All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
See how message translation puts it;
1 Cor 6:12 (MSG) Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.
If you are planning to get married, and he does not pester you with coming over to stay in his place, and you know he doesn’t have other girlfriends he is using to “fill in the gap,” then he is a good man. You should respect that.
It is not that he doesn’t feel like having some jeru trip, it is because he is mature and he has the fear of God. Every man feels like tasting it, but if he never pesters you, you need to respect that. You don’t go and ask him if you can come over! You will be inviting the dangers that way.
As a lady, you need to understand how to allow God preserve your relationships so that it leads to marriage. It is not something you can do by yourself.
You will never be able to preserve or “insure” a relationship with jeru trip. It will never work, because that is not how God has instituted it.
Do you want to tie down a man with jeru trip? Well, he loses himself five minutes after. Then the next day, you will need to tie him again. You keep tying him and he keeps losing himself, and when he is tired of you, he will lose himself and go away forever!
You need to understand the basic difference between you both. A man is logical. When you make yourself available like that, he is wondering and thinking how many guys you are doing that for.
A lady, on the other hand, is relationship-oriented, so she thinks if she can offer her body, the deal is sealed. No, you just ruptured the deal, because, the one that really keeps a relationship is God. So when you displease God, things are not going to work.
I once spoke to a lady who called me on phone and lamented that there is a curse over her life because she cannot find a husband to marry.
Upon interviewing her, I saw where things went wrong. She is sexually involved with a married man, and somehow she still thinks that things will work out that way. She will go to church, pray, have vigils, and then go over to his place for jeru trap sessions!
She will never be found that way. The prayers and vigils are religious exercises that will amount to a waste of time and energy. That scenario is a combination of religious spirit and spirit of deception .
You see, there are things you do, and nothing will ever work out. It doesn’t matter how many deliverance sessions you have done or if you are the only person that cleans the whole church, if you keep going back to do what you are not supposed to do, you get God handicapped in doing what He wants to do in your life and you practically slow yourself down!
That is why the scripture says, “God is not mocked!”
You cannot corner God with some religious exercise!
In conclusion, God’s arms are ever open to embrace you and give you a new start when you genuinely repent and decide to regulate your life by His principles. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery, “I do not condemn you, but go and sin no more!
That voice is still reverberating across generations and transcending above societal norms and technological inventions, “Go and sin no more!”
Check your life and clean up. Don’t slow yourself down.
May God grant us all more wisdom!
What other dangers do you think one might be exposed to? Let’s hear in the comment section.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not disobey God in order to please a man. I am kept from the dangers of staying over.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will deliver you from the dangers out there
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. (John 8:11 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss your weaknesses with your mentor and seek advice
I have often been asked, “How do you know a wrong person for you in a relationship?” And the answer is very simple, “Through his words!”
“But Pastor, what about if he or she doesn’t talk?”
You see, the reality is that he or she cannot hide for long.
His words are a mirror of his heart. If you can listen very well, to what is being said, and listen to what is not said, you will always be able to discern a man’s heart.
Over the years, I have had to attend to young ladies who unwittingly got messed up by married men. It would have been too late by the time they discover what is happening and by that time they are caught in an emotional web.
These married men are skillful, usually older and experienced at preying on young ladies. The sad thing is that sometimes, these ladies are believers, naive, unsuspecting and too trusting to discern between the lines.
Now, words are powerful, and you can actually know the intent of a person’s heart by his words.
The words he or she speaks are reflections of what is intrinsic in the heart. When a married man wants to sleep with you, he comes indirectly with several statements. When you hear these statements, you should run for your life. I mean, run for your life.
Everywhere the scripture proffers a solution to sexual pressures, it asks you to speak to your legs!
“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (1Co 6:18, KJV)
Flee fornication! It means to run away!
You remember Joseph ran away? And he became a prime minister. Samson refused to run, and he destiny was cut short!
You also remember Samson didn’t die immediately, his eyes were first taken out! It typifies that he could no longer read the word of life. That is what the devil does to you when you start compromising, he takes your eyes out, you lose interest in reading the Bible, because he knows that is the only thing that can save you or deliver you!
Okay, let’s quickly run through seven statements that should make you run for your dear life when you hear a married man say them. Never ever take those statements as compliments. They are the expressions of a lust-filled heart designed to slow you down and make you sin against your God.
1. If I have met you before I married my wife, I would have married you
Why should a married man say this? When you hear him say this, it is not time to feel cool and start blushing. It is a statement that betrays his covenant relationship with his wife and it is inappropriate. Stay away from such a man. If you don’t, he would put more pressure and might eventually sleep with you.
Also, beware when a married woman says to you as a single guy that had she met you before meeting her husband, she would have married you.
2. I wish you can have a baby for me. You are so beautiful
You are not a baby factory or a baby producer. You are meant for your husband. Never take this as a compliment. Why would a man be wishing this when he is already married? If you feel special because of that statement, and you get pregnant, the next shocking suggestion from him would be abortion.
3. Can I take you out? I love your company
Don’t cooperate with this antic. A married man doesn’t take you out repeatedly unless there is an ulterior motive. After series of being taken out, your defence will be down.
4. My wife doesn’t give me enough attention
It is a lie from the pit of hell. First, you have already made the first mistake by allowing him to make such statements. Nobody made you an attention giver, so the man should go back to his wife at home. It is a just a ploy to play on your imagination and make you feel cool.
5. You make me feel young again
When you are not a medicine or some tranquilizer! It is a lie, he is not actually feeling young, he is feeling lust. As a child of God with a covenant perspective, you should run away from such men.
6. You are more intelligent than my wife
When a man makes this kind of statement, you should be scared of that man. He had more or less reduced his wife to a stupid entity all in the bid to fool another lady.
At the end of the day, if you cooperate with such men, who do you think is really unintelligent?
7. Where have you been all my life?
Lastly, they make statements like where have you been? Where have you been hiding all the while? Never fall for such statements. It is a deceit from the pit of hell.
The Bible advises that we should not be ignorant of the devices of the devil.
“Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” (2Co 2:11, KJV)
Understand that the marital covenant is so strong that God is committed to fighting whoever tries to break it.
I pray for you this morning, you will not fall into the snare of married men who are deceivers. God will protect you and shield you continually.
Stay away from such men and don’t slow your self down! God will grant you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am discerning. I am kept from married men who are deceivers. My relationship is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a discerning heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” (2Co 2:11, MSG)
I have had people tell me that their husbands are too jealous, too jealous for their liking. The wives complain that this action is irritating. Well, I have come to know that if husbands are made to feel insecure, they become suspicious and may become overly jealous.
A husband is jealous because he loves and is not sure of the wife’s commitment into the relationship. When a husband is jealous or feels threatened, he begins to ask suspicious questions, snoops around, acts like a detective, scroll around the wife’s phone and does all sorts.
A husband and wife that has been away all day and hardly talk when they come home at night, gives room for such. The husband begins to feel, he is just there. No meaningful communication.
When there is no communication adequately, there is room for all kinds of unhealthy thoughts. Husbands and wives as a matter of fact must talk about everything. That is why whatever may prevent adequate communication should be avoided. The wife and husband should avoid bitterness of any sort, by talking about hurts immediately.
The issue of submission is also important. When a wife is not submissive to her husband, it gives him the opportunity to be jealous. If a wife does not adequately defer to her husband, it makes him insecure and threatened. He is insecure of his role as the husband.
A husband can take anything but if anything threatens his position as the rightful husband, he can’t take it.
The role of the wife is to always make her husband feel secured as the husband and the head of the home. She should defer to him in everything. She should feed his ego and give him his place as the head of the union between them.
She should defer to her in terms of finances, her job, her friends, her dressing, her looks, her family member, and everything in general. If your husband is not comfortable with something or someone, then let it be over with that thing, until he says it is okay.
This is a simple way to avoid problems at home and make your husband feel secure. As the wife, you have to protect him. Protect his interest and his ideals. I know of a woman who has a multinational company. By that, it means she would be in control of money, power and people. Normally, any husband married to her should feel threatened.
It is the place of the wife to make her husband feel secured. That is exactly what this woman did. The husband is so secured and contended. She placed her husband first before anyone and anything. That’s the way it should be.
I know there are some very difficult husbands and very overly jealous. How do you handle such? Well, I believe the same thing goes for every kind of husband. You make them feel secured until they feel over secured.
You cannot make your husband feel secured if you don’t talk to him. You must make communication a matter of priority. Your talking to him, means you defer to him by default. You tell him everything and ask him everything.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I defer to my husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY God help me to do the right things
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 31:28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.
One of the traps the devil sets is making you hope and pray your parents or guardians won’t find out where you have been. Now there are warning signals wrong friends can exhibit.
Friends that corrupt, mostly advise you to give a false account of your whereabouts to parents or guardians. In other words, they tell you to lie.
For instance, they encourage you to buy a skimpy outfit which you know your parents won’t allow on you. This is part of the warning signals. They teach you how to hide it at home. Even when your parents find out and forbid you to wear it, they again, teach you how to sneak it out of the house for a party or an outing which you know will keep you late outside. Once more, they tell you what lie to tell to your parents.
Another way is you come home late from school and lie that you were at the library, studying for a test or exam. All the while you were playing football with friends or watching a PG movie at one of your friend’s house. They, of course, told you to say that. This is part of the warning signals.
You hope and pray your parents don’t find out or catch your lie.
You need to let go of such friends because they are gradually helping you to become a liar. Yes, and they have revealed themselves by showing those warning signals.
The bible tells us that the devil is the father of all liars. How can a child of God be friends with the children of the devil? You need to end your friendship with friends that teach you to lie. This is part of the warning signals.
John 8:44 (NKJV) You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.
One downside of this is that, once your parents find out the truth, they won’t trust you anymore. They won’t believe anything you say again. even when you are saying the truth.
So, check your friends again. Learn to look out for warning signals.
God bless you.
Prayer: Father in Heaven, help me with good friends. I don’t want friends that will teach me to lie, I want friends that will help me grow to know you more. Amen.
Action point: Stop being friends with anyone who encourages you to tell a lie, especially to your parents (it’s part of the warning signals).
Declaration (children): I am kept far away from wrong friends. I choose my friends wisely and I receive grace to cut off every wrong association.
There is something that can promptly assassinate a promising relationship and marriage in a moment. What can that be?
It is called pride!
The reason why pride is such a dangerous sin can be found in some of these verses.
But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. (James 4:6 KJV)
Obviously, this won’t be a good place to be. When the Bible says God resisteth the proud, what that means is that God Himself will oppose or hinder a proud man.
Again you find the same thing here.
Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. (1 Peter 5:5 KJV)
In the Old Testament, Nebuchadnezzar became proud, and he was humbled, he became an animal.
In the New Testament, Herod made a prideful statement, he was eaten from inside out.
Pride is not a good commodity that should be found with you.
Do you want God to help you in life? Be humble!
It is such a thin line between humility and pride. If you are a humble person, and you know it, then you are no longer humble!
Humble people don’t say it or flaunt it, others identify it in them and talk about it.
The day you talk or boast about your humility, you already lost it, because you are now proud of your humility!
The greatest problem a proud person has is that he never owns up that he is proud. His pride will not allow him to own up that he is really proud, and even when he sometimes discovers, he is still proud of his pride!
A lot of people have lost opportunities of a godly relationship because of pride!
The picture of the person they wanted to get married to, is far from those that are showing up, so they keep on rebuffing opportunities that come their way. The problem is that after a long time, they always end up with just anybody because they suddenly wake up to the reality that age is no longer on their side.
‘My husband has to be handsome like my pastor!’ Ask your pastor’s wife to show you her husband’s picture before they got married. You will almost want to tell her that she took a risk!
I have always told people, the most important factor in deciding who to get married to is God’s direction. Physical attraction is very important as well, but that is not all to it. People change over time!
In fact, some people get handsome the older they get! While it is different for some, the older they get, the more they lose their rhyme and the magic!
You want to marry a Joseph? Would you have said yes to him while he was a slave in strange land, his destiny unsure and his dreams almost bothering on a psychological absurdity?
Would you have married him when he was in the prison, sentenced to an indefinite prison life, together in the king’s maximum prison with hardened criminals convicted of murder?
My point is that what people are now, is not what they were before!
I always tell men of God, they need to come together and do a thanksgiving service to God on behalf of their wives for saying “yes’ to them!
The woman in the scripture says, I perceive this is a man of God!’
God sees ahead and sees what you cannot see. In His wisdom and love, He seeks to lead and direct us, if we are willing to obey and stay humble, we will enter into our wealthy place and we will be fulfilled not only in marriage but in life as well.
Ask yourself, am I really proud and hindering God’s plan unknowingly?
How do you know if you are proud? Here are a few tips:
1. You have an exaggerated opinion of yourself. 2. You have an opinion of everything and anything. 3. You are critical of almost everything and anything. 4. You have a problem with accountability. You are accountable to no one. 5. You see yourself as superior to your friends. 6. You are not submissive to any authority figures, including your pastors and parents. 7. You sometimes think you don’t need God, it is God that needs you!
Ask God to help you. Ask Him to open your eyes and show you all you need to know about yourself.
Be humble enough to do that so that you will not delay yourself!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be proud
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, take pride away from my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:5 (KJV) Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are there traces of pride in your relationship? Address it.
Distractions will come at you as you plan to manage your time well. They come straight at you, heavy and unrelenting. You have to learn how to identify and stop them if you want to make good use of your time. You have to learn to remove distractions.
Distractions could be from friends, family and even you. There will be good distractions that look pleasing and reasonable but are not pushing you forward.
For instance, you want to study your bible for the evening and a friend visits and asks that you both study for a test tomorrow.
It’s a good thing – studying for a test, but is it in your plan? No. You have to learn to remove distractions. Rather than study or tell your friend you can’t study with him because of bible study, ask him to join you for bible study. After that, you can both study for the test.
Ensure you explain to him first what you are planning to do and if he agrees to wait or join you, fine. And if he refuses, well you can try to further explain to him. But you have to learn to remove distractions.
I’m sure he will agree. If he doesn’t, well, it’s not your fault, you just have to stick to your plan.
Remember, there’s a time for everything under the sun.
There is a powerful concept of time that you should know – time lost can never be recovered. It’s not a piece of paper that can be found or a missing person. It goes away and becomes history to you. So you have to learn to remove distractions.
Always put this thought before you as you do things. Ask yourself ‘What I am doing now, is it what I should be doing?’
May God grant you more insight about the concept of time. Amen.
Action plan: Lord, give me the strength and wisdom to handle any distraction that comes my way. Teach me how to remove distractions. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan: Stay firm in how you manage your time.
The Bible says husbands should enjoy the wife of their youth. This means you should enjoy yourself while you have strength as young couples. Don’t be too serious at home and learn to live together as best friends.
The force of joy is very vital in the home front. Joy, celebration, thanksgiving, rejoicing, the sound of melody, praises, and worship to God all go hand in hand.
Psa 67:5-6, KJV Let the people praise thee, O God; let all the people praise thee. Then shall the earth yield her increase; and God, even our own God, shall bless us.
We are encouraged in this scripture to praise the Lord, then our earth; whatever it is that represents the earth to us will yield her increase. Whether barrenness, lack, joblessness, debt, et cetera
The logical thing to do is get moody when things are not working. But we operate from a higher level. We rejoice to get the increase.
Your boss, spouse, or colleague may be treating you badly. Rather than fight back, you switch into praise.
Receive Grace and strength to enter into praise. God inhabits your praise. Your praise invites God to fight on your behalf.
Php 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.
Let nothing steal your joy. Let your rejoicing be in the Lord
Don’t allow the pressure of finances, raising children, in-laws and others destabilize your togetherness and joy.
Nothing must come in between your joy. Between the two of you, one person will be more playful and tend towards being joyful all the time.
Let the playful one take the initiative and the other follows suit.
The Holy Spirit knows what He’s saying when He says enjoy the wife of your youth.
Be deliberate in making each other happy. Do not make others outside your home or marriage happy at the expense of your spouse.
Read books together and discuss them. Invest in each other.
I pray your marriage will be beautiful and filled with new wine.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FORTHE DAY I love my spouse and we enjoy life together
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help us to be joyful always.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ecc 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Rejoice and enjoy yourself
Planning is a wonderful tool you should use to manage your time perfectly. Plan your day; it involves you writing out everything you are going to do in a day and when you are going to do them.
As a child, you have school for five days, assignments from school, church on weekdays and weekends, visitations and other stuff.
Plan around these activities. Give specific amount of hours or minutes to them.
Here is an example:
6 am – Personal prayers/bible reading/ daily devotional.
6:30 am – house chores.
7-7:30 am- Grooming/breakfast
7:30am – School
This is just to give you an idea of how to plan your day.
Learn to plan well. After school you could give some time to studying the day’s work (and more), and doing assignments, if any.
“Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15 (AMP)
The major thing about using your time well is to do the important, necessary and urgent things first before the rest. School is important/necessary and urgent. Assignments also. The church is the same. Personal bible study, praying and devotionals are important, necessary, and urgent too.
Don’t do what you need to do later now. Plan well and do them now, so that you won’t fail.
“I went by the field of the lazy man, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; And, behold, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles were covering its face, and its stone wall was broken down. Then I beheld and considered it well; I looked and received instruction. Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep– So shall your poverty come as a robber, and your want as an armed man.” Proverbs 24:30-34 (AMP)
Prayer: Lord, teach me how to make good use of my time daily. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan: Draw a rough plan of how your day looks like. Perfect it to reflect the important things you need to do daily. Put the important things first.
The issue of honor in marriage is critical. A marriage where there is no honor is no order. The wife does what she likes and the husband does what he likes. The marriage is not governed by any rules. Christ is not at the center of the home.
We must understand that God instituted marriage. He is the one who said it is not good that man be alone.
He has an original plan and purpose for all marriages. Each marriage is unique. Each home has its own unique pattern. Each marriage has its own unique place in the heart of the Father.
Honor is thus a way to invite the Lordship of Jesus Christ into our lives.
Couples must learn the honor code at all cost. Without honor, nothing will work in the home.
Here are three major areas you honor your spouse
1. Honour your spouse by giving preference to Jesus in your marriage
Giving preference to Jesus is giving Him the leadership in your home. Let Him take the lead. It is seeking to find out what Jesus would do in every situation.
2. Making sure that the marriage works.
It includes doing everything possible to see that you forgive yourselves.
3. Making sure that you are patient with each other.
Everything in marriage has two sides to it.
In anger, calm down.
May God bless our marriages!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will honor my spouse daily
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to stay focused on you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Col 2:2 (MSG) I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God’s great mystery.
Yesterday, we started on this topic on dealing with anger issues. If you misses the devotional, you can read it here.
If you are in a relationship with someone who flies off the handle easily, learn to seek help. Don’t just keep quiet and don’t think he would just change naturally. It takes deliberate efforts to realize and then change!
Don’t get angry together and at the same time! Learn to calm down for one another! Get books and read and deal with than anger so that you don’t end up raising angry children who will take the anger to another level.
If you are in a relationship wherein both of you have serious anger problems and are not patient with each other, that is not too good. Start working on it now, so that your coming together which is supposed to translate into strength will not be the other way round.
Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Here are practical ways to deal with problems of anger
1. Pray about it and ask God to help you by His Spirit
2. Seek help from your pastor or mentors
3. Stay in God’s word. Your soul can be restored when you meditate regularly in God’s word
4. Get good books that address the weakness and study
5. Discuss with your finance/spouse and look at how you can deal with the weakness
6. Learn to keep quiet when you are angry. You often say things you will regret later, but the words, like swords could have done the harm.
7. Do not make quick decisions while you are angry. Your sense of judgment is warped at such times.
8. Forgive easily. Don’t be revengeful and stubborn. Let God handle the situation for you.
9. Don’t allow anger and hurts to push you into sexual sins because you want get back at your ex or your spouse. That will complicate issues for you.
10. Don’t listen to someone who appears ‘nice’ and wants you to sin when you are hurting badly. It is usually a trap of the devil to complicate issues when a ‘nice’ person suddenly shows up when you are at loggerheads with your spouse. Be careful!
There are more, but I believe these practical ways will be of help.
I rebuke every spirit behind anger and wrath in your life, relationship and marriage in Jesus name. I pray for God’s help over you in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not an angry person. I am cool and level-headed. I am delivered from anger issues I might have been exhibiting.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from anger issues I have.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make use of the practical ways listed above.
Gen 49:5-7 KJV (5) Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. (6) O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. (7) Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
There is nothing that kills relationships and marriages faster than what I want to write about today. Anger!
In the above verses, Simeon and Levi are brothers, but their combination was a tragedy! Both of them had anger problems. What was the eventuality? They were divided and scattered!
That is exactly what happens to two angry unrepentant people in a relationship or marriage. That relationship or marriage cannot survive it.
Look at the way the Message translation puts it:
Gen 49:5-7 MSG (5) Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. (6) I don’t want anything to do with their vendettas, want no part in their bitter feuds; They kill men in fits of temper, slash oxen on a whim. (7) A curse on their uncontrolled anger, on their indiscriminate wrath. I’ll throw them out with the trash; I’ll shred and scatter them like confetti throughout Israel.
One angry person can curse a lot of havoc, not to talk of two angry couples or couples-to-be!
Are you the type or person that is ready to fight at the drop of a hat? You need to consciously and deliberately start working on that anger problem because it can ruin precious opportunities.
There is a place for a level of anger because we are all human. There is also a place for righteous indignation. But the type of anger that is dangerous is the one that lingers unnecessarily and makes you do things you will later regret.
This type of anger is almost a stupid one because you know you will eventually regret your words and actions!
Ecc 7:9 KJV Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
Message translation is quite interesting:
Ecc 7:9 MSG Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.
I once heard Bishop Oyedepo in one of his messages, where he said he used to have anger problems until he read the above scriptures.
In the early days of our marriage, I get angry very easily. It was a kind of subdued anger, not enough for me to raise my hands against my wife! I have never done that and will never do that, no matter what! That is not a manly thing to do! It is unscriptural, and your prayers will be hindered when you raise your hands against a lady.
But, I used to be impatient. I am a quick person but my wife takes her time. I wanted to change her. When I am angry, I start lecturing my wife. After a while, I just had to change because the lecturing thing was not working. I had to learn early in marriage, to calm down when I am angry and then discuss.
Over the years, I have come to learn to smile at some of the things that get me bothered and aggravated and looking back at those years, I wondered why I had to be angry in the first place! We were not meant to be the same way! A book on temperament I read delivered me!
If you are married to someone with anger problem, here is an advice for you.
Pro 15:1 KJV A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Pro 15:1 MSG A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
Tomorrow, I will show you practical ways to deal with anger issues in your relationship.
Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not an angry person. I am cool and level-headed. I am delivered from anger issues I might have been exhibiting.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from anger issues I have.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray against all forms of anger issues you have.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Prov 15
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What time is it? What’s the time now? When are we leaving? When should I take my drugs? When should I eat? When is the test starting? When is mummy coming back? When is the party starting?
These are just some questions people ask because they want to know when to do something or go somewhere. And knowing when to do or go somewhere is a deciding factor on how successful what they want to do or go will be.
In the bible, the book of Ecclesiastes speaks about this subject, saying that there is a particular time for everything. Yes, there is a time for everything in this world. God is the master at this; He knows when is right for any thing that is to be done. He knew when it was right for you to be born. He chose the date, country, and place for you.
Understanding how to manage your time well will help you a lot in life. Knowing when to speak, not speak, act, not act and more will help you get out of some situations.
There’s a time for you to study as there’s when it is okay for you to watch cartoons. There’s also when it is right for you to sleep, and also when it is right to wake up and prepare for school. There’s when to eat and when to fast. Understand all these facts and you will be very good in managing this precious gift.
Above all, God wants you to use your time well, especially for Him. May God teach you how to manage this gift well. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, teach me how to use my time well. I don’t want to waste this gift in Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan: Pick a jotter and pen and start to plan your day.
In today’s devotional we’ll be looking at pleasing your spouse without dishonoring God, let’s take note of the following, they are not exhaustive.
Do whatever your spouse loves Learning about love languages is not just for learning sake. It is so that you begin to do those things you discovered they love and enjoy. You must seek to become an intentional spouse and lover.
Loving your spouse by speaking their love language may not come naturally to you. You have to make efforts in pleasing your spouse. That’s when love comes with it being a choice, a decision, and a sacrifice.
Seek wisdom Marriage is an institution where wisdom is required to be successful in it. Don’t ever assume you are a guru in understanding your spouse.
Some have made this mistake only to be awaken to the rude shock that their spouse have not really being happy for decades. That’s when the spouse seeks divorce after so many years and people are wondering what happened.
Seeking wisdom on various issues in your marriage is very vital. Read books about marriage. Hear veterans in the marriage institution talk and counsel you.
Learn male / female differences God is a God of variety and multiplicity. As different as there are people, cultures, languages, food, nations, so wide are the differences between male and female.
Until you learn about these differences, you cannot fully understand or enjoy the uniqueness in the differences between you and your spouse.
Get a mentor
The place of a mentor in your marriage is very crucial. There are some things you should learn not by experience but by the wisdom of those who have gone ahead of you.
You don’t have to learn through mistakes. Sometimes the mistake might be too costly. Avoid that route of heart ache and head ache.
Get good mentors, seek their wisdom, listen to them, learn from them and obey their advice, their wisdom will help you in pleasing your spouse.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have understanding
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bless my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 44:7 (KJV) But thou hast saved us from our enemies, and hast put them to shame that hated us.
1. Thou shall serve the Lord thy God in days of thy youth. It is good for a man to bear his yoke in the days of his youth. The glory of young people is in their strength. Thou shall know that you will get busier. Now is the time to serve the Lord thy God.
2. Thou shall be contented with thyself, for singleness is not curse, but a blessing. Thou shalt maximize the times of thy singleness by using it to learn more and prepare for marriage.
3. Thou shall not compromise through Jeru trap. If thou doest this, thou shall slow thyself down, because that is not the order of God. Thou shall know that in life, it is the help of God that matters. The race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong.
4. Thou shall not marry an unbeliever or a person that does not fear God. God has a person for you. Thou shall be patient to know and learn God’s plan for your life for that will always be the best plan for you.
5. Thou shall know thyself, love thyself and judge thyself always. Thou shall take inventory of your life and make amends where necessary. Thou shall love thyself because if thou lovest not thyself, nobody will love you. Thou shall always judge thyself and be truthful with thyself so that thou will not be judged.
6. Thou shall not be involved with more than one person at a time. Thou shall know that such things worketh not out. Thou shall not deceive your intended spouse in any way, so that mistrust enterest not into thy relationship.
7. Thou shall not compromise or violate your conscience because of job opportunities or financial assistance. Thou shall put thy trust in God and not in man. Thou shall take heed not to lose thy soul because of riches that lasteth not.
8. Thou shall not fall in love with a stranger that thou knowest not. The world is full of wickedness. Thou shall not fall in love with a Facebook profile or some social media friend. Thou shall not fall in love with a faceless voice over the phone.
9. Thou shall not endure an abusive relationship. If thou art already being beaten and abused in thy relationship, suffer not thyself to stay there, for that is not the plan of the Lord thy God for you.
10. Thou shall not walk down the aisle blindly. Thou shall not fall in love hopelessly. Thou shall fall in love with thy common sense. Thou shall not get involved with a person that has no value for you nor for your God. Such alliances leadeth into regrets. Thou shall trust the Lord thy God for the best that He has for you. Thou shall not as a result of thy age or pressure settleth with just anybody. Thou shall patiently obtain the promise of God. God’s word faileth not.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will maximize the times of my singleness and obey the commandments.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask God to give you the wisdom you need at such times to obey the commandment for singles
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the Lord is his treasure. (Isaiah 33:6 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to follow God’s principles
In today’s couples‘ devotionals, we will be looking at commandments for all wives on KHC. These “commandments” and principles will be the game changer in your marriage.
1. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, thou shalt love Him and thou shall ensure your relationship with God is intact. Thou shall know that is it is not by power, nor by might but by His Spirit. Thou shall know that it is not about thy beauty, thy carriage, thy acumen, thy intelligence or connections, but by the Lord thy God which helpeth thee.
2. Thou shall not double date. If thou double date, thou shall not have God’s support and favor in thy marriage. Thou shall not play games with your life or destiny. Thou shall not slow thyself down by deliberate disobedience to God’s way of doing things.
3. Thou shall not love another man apart from thy husband. Thou shall not secretly fall in love with another man either in thy heart or reality. Thou shall not practice emotional affairs. Thou shall only love and defer to thy husband for that is where the Lord commandeth His blessings. Thou shall not do anything that will render thy prayers ineffective.
4. If thou art delayed in the area of childbirth, thou shall not because of that compromise or look for other ‘alternatives’ Thou shall know that God has a plan for thy life and that waiting and trusting for that plan is the best to do. Thou shall know and believe that the thoughts of God towards you are thoughts of peace and not of evil.
5. Thou shall not succumb to the pressures at work. In your environment or from those that thou callest friends, thou shall stand as a rock and refuse to be moved. In all that thou puttest thy hands to do, thou shall make up thine mind to do it God’s way.
6. Thou shall not disrespect thy husband. Thou shall defer to him in all things in the Lord, thou shall honour him, and treat him as your head and crown. Thou shall know that if thou disrespect him whom God has set as your head, thou will not be able to enter into the fullness of the blessing that God hath for you.
7. Thou shall not nag thy husband. This is the seventh commandment. Thou shall understand that thou can send thy husband away from thy home when you become contentious.
8. Thou shall not deny thy husband Jeru trip. Thou shall not pretend to have headache or fever when thy husband toucheth you. Thou shall know that thy husband will never be able to love you the way he should if you denieth him at most times. Thou shall not use Jeru trip as a punishment or reward!
9. Thou shall not offer thy body to another man. Thou shall know that that thy body is the temple of the Holy Ghost and God seeth it as sacred. Thou shall hold thy body in dignity and good self- esteem. Thou shall not offer your body in exchange for money. Thou shall not travel to see another man I the name of ‘business.
10. Thou shall learn to dress for your husband at home because he is moved by sight. Thou shall dress well for thy husband. Thou shall understand that a man is moved by sight.
I know there are still a lot more, so you may add other commandments that resonates with you with the comment form.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be or aspire to be a good woman and wife. I obey God’s commandments
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask God to mould you into the picture of the woman He has for you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price (1 Peter 3:1-4 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide on steps to take to be the woman that God really wants
How big is God? Let me share this story of a little boy’s interaction with his father. Let’s go!
A little boy once asked his father this question:
‘Daddy, how big is God?’
His father chuckled out loud and said, ‘God is very enormous.’
‘How big, I want to know.’
‘Well, how big is God…’ the father thought about it for a while.
Just then an airplane cruised in the sky, the father got an idea. ‘Come to the window, son.’ The boy scooted over to his father.
‘Look at the sky,’ he pointed to the clouds. ‘What’s that in the sky?’
‘It’s an aeroplane. It doesn’t look any big. It’s tiny.’
‘Sure it is.’ He stood up. ‘Have you ever seen an aeroplane on the ground?’
The boy shook his head.
‘Well, let’s go to the airport.’
At the airport, the boy couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the aeroplanes.
‘They are big! he exclaimed. ‘I never imagined they would be like this.’
‘Son, this is how God can be. From afar, He may look small but when you move closer to Him, He gets this big.’
God gets bigger and bigger the closer you get to Him. He doesn’t create the distance. In fact, He removed the distance when Jesus died on the cross.
You can only get to experience His bigness when you spend more and more time with Him and His Word.
Just like the aeroplane in the sky that looks tiny, God will look tiny to you when there’s no regular fellowship with Him. He looks just like a spot of white in the clouds, making you to squint and cover your eyes before you can look at Him.
But when you are near Him, you don’t have to squint or protect your eyes, rather, your eyes might want to pop out of their sockets as you marvel at how enormous He is. God is really big.
God can only be big in your life based on how much of your time you give to Him.
Prayer: Yahweh, You are bigger than anything, anyone and everything on this earth. I want to keep marveling at such a spectacle as You. Give me more revelation of how big You are as I walk with You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan: How big you want God to be to you? Answer the question yourself.
We have been looking at how to handle anger as a child. Anger has been looked at from different angles and the ways to respond to it.
As a child you will have feelings of anger up to when you become an adult. Even in adulthood you will still get angry with people and situations. Anger is common to all persons. The earlier you start learning how to handle this emotion, the better for you. As you mature into adulthood you would have learnt a lot about handling any anger issues.
To handle anger, you need the help of God. He alone has the power to help you deal with any anger issues. He can guide and lead you towards handling it well.
Read and study the bible for verses that talk on anger and how to handle it. Also read up stories of bible characters who had anger issues and show they handled it, either good or bad. You could read again about the times when God got angry in the bible.
Pray too and a lot if you find yourself with any anger issue. Prayer is like a personal time with God. And during this personal time , you don’t hide nothing from Him. You tell Him everything you feel, especially about your anger. It is in moments like this that you receive the strength to handle anger.
One last thought about anger – anger is not bad, it’s only what it makes you do, think or say that is bad. And anger that is left to stay for long can turn to hate and bitterness. You therefore must learn to handle anger.
May the Lord deliver you from every form of anger, hate and bitterness. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, I ask for help for every form of anger I have; teach me how to handle it LORD. Let it not lead to hatred or bitterness. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Action point: Look deep inside your heart, look for any anger that has turned to hatred or bitterness and ask God for forgiveness. After asking for forgiveness, ask God to help you handle all your anger issues. Read and study your bible too.
