The devil issuch a bad devil. But thank God we have a good God! Left for the devil, he doesn’t want any progress for your life or marriage. So he comes up with several devices, just to keep you ultimately away from God.
He would use just anybody around you to fight and attack you and bring weariness and tiredness to your soul. He would incite strife, depression, and moodiness just to create problems.
The fire in marriage should not be allowed to go out. The fire in you as a child of God must not die.
Are you in that place and it looks your spiritual life dropped after you got married?
There could be a lot of reasons responsible for that. It could be a result of unexpected pressures arising from the transition from being single to becoming a married person. It could be that marital activities and the desire to please your spouse overtook the time you usually spend with God.
However, it is your passion for God that must be prioritized.
As David noted:
Psa 42:1 (KJV) As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
This panting, this passion, must not be substituted with any other thing!
I so much love how Message Translation puts this.
Psa 42:1 (MSG) A psalm of the sons of Korah. A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek; I want to drink God, deep draughts of God.
You must keep drinking from God, deeply. This is what ignites the fire in your soul and in your marriage.
The fire in your life must not go out. The fire in your marriage must not go out. The fire in your bedroom must not go out.
Keep the embers fired up with honesty, faithfulness, love, submission, and absolute focus on God and your spouse.
May God’s help never cease in your life and marriage!
Have a beautiful day and see you tomorrow for another word from the Lord.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marital fire will not be extinguished.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that you will remain on fire for God even after marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 42:1 (KJV) As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY What were those things you did before getting married? Are you still doing them?
The last way we will look at, in this series where we are learning how to pray, is by listening and watching others.
At home, listen to how your parents pray. Notice their choice of words, what they use to pray, where and how they pray, whether they hold hands, do they pray in the Holy Ghost? Do they shout or mutter to themselves? When do they raise their voices? What do they do then? Do they say a prayer at night? How often? What time at night? Do they say a prayer in the morning? How often? What time in the morning? This is a way of learning how to pray.
This list is just a way for you to see how prayer is done. What you notice might not be how you would want to do yours, but it would certainly help you to learn the art of prayer.
At church, watch how people pray. Sure, you will see tons of differences there. Again, you are not meant to follow everything you see. The Holy Spirit can give you your own way. He will supply you with the words to use. That is how unique you are to God. Yes, you are unique to God and He will teach you how to pray too.
Watching and listening to fellow Christians praying is meant to point out to you where you need to improve, how to improve, what to stop doing, and what to continue. You learn, unlearn and relearn.
The bible says we should not abandon the gathering of brethren. I believe this is to help us grow spiritually. Part of spiritual growth in Christianity is learning how to pray. When in the presence of other brethren regularly, we grow our prayer muscles.
Iron sharpens iron as the bible says, so, if you want to learn how to pray, one sure way to do that is to watch and listen to other believers when they say a prayer. Be a sponge and soak what you see. Also, as a sponge get ready to be squeezed – flushing out wrong perceptions about prayer, building your prayer muscles for more spiritual growth, and learning new ways and things about prayer.
May God bless you with the grace to learn how to pray. Amen.
Prayer: Dear Father, thank You for the wonderful believers you have surrounded me with. I ask that you enable me to glean from their prayer life. Let the Holy Spirit lead me on which to use, let go of, and continue using, in Jesus name, amen.
Action point: Learn how to pray by taking a good look at your parents when next they pray. Note how they do so – time, words, gestures, voice intonation, et cetera. Look at three believers you know, either at church or elsewhere, notice how they say their prayer too. What do you like about how all these people pray? What does the Holy Spirit say about them to you?
Yesterday, we started on how the Holy Ghost helps us to pray as children. Let’s continue with more benefits of praying in the Holy Ghost.
Sometimes, while praying in the spirit, God could drop a word that you should continue to pray or stop. He could also give you simple instructions.
More benefits of praying in the Holy Ghost is that it helps you to trust the Holy Spirit more and more. You trust the process – that every time you engage in prayer using the Holy Spirit, He connects you directly to the Father and helps speak what is on your mind to Him.
The bible says the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf with groaning. He teaches us what to say, when, and how to do so. This was evident in the lives of the disciples after they received the Holy Spirit.
More benefits of praying in the Holy Ghost is that it helps you pray with ease. It’s a language you don’t know how the words are formed. Even if you write them down, they don’t follow any earthly language pattern. They just flow out of your spirit.
You can also praise God in the Holy Spirit. Praising God in a language you don’t know. How sweet does that sound? God hears you call Him beautiful names in the language of heaven. Don’t you think God will smile?
One final thing the Holy Spirit can do is to lead you to pray for someone somewhere who might be in danger at a particular time. This is also part of more benefits of praying in the Holy Ghost. He asks you to pray to help avert danger or get help. This way, he leads you to intercede on someone’s behalf as He does on our behalf with God. So, you can see the immense benefits of having the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit can be imparted into you either by another believer or the Holy Spirit Himself. If you are yet to receive the Holy Spirit, ask your parents, pastor, or another believer full of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on you.
I pray that the Holy Spirit will come upon you in Jesus name. Amen.
Prayer: Dear Holy Spirit, thank you for all that you are. LORD, open my eyes to more benefits of praying in the Spirit. I ask that you come upon me and teach me how to pray. Help me to pray from the heart of the father in Jesus name. Amen.
Marriage is the placewhere you will have to come to terms with the practicality of forgiveness. In other relationships, forgiveness is also essential but it may not be as that of marriage.
In marriage, you will have to forgive for the relationship to be healed. You and your spouse cannot avoid each other. You live together, have children together, for the sake of peace and progress, forgiveness is very necessary.
The standard of the Word of God is so high. That’s why it is a narrow road that leads to heaven. The Bible does not mince words when we are told to love our enemies. Hmmm. I thought we should love our friends and well-wishers and stay clear and avoid our enemies.
The bible tells us to love them, and bless those who curse us. That is pretty hard; a hard pill to swallow. I believe that is why we have to live in the spirit so we do not gratify the lust of the flesh. We need the Holy Ghost power. We cannot do it in our own natural strength.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Matthew 5:44 KJV
Our differences will most often act as a threat to our marital union and our mandate as couples. It will pose a problem to our becoming one. The natural man tends to be selfish and only the one that is submitted to Christ and His word can love genuinely.
It is easier for women to hold on to hurts and have difficulty forgiving. Women are hurt deeply essentially because they are emotional beings and because they analyze more. Whichever way, let God be true and every man a liar. The standard of God’s word must be followed. A different gospel is not for men and another for women. We are to follow and obey the same word. We should allow the Holy Spirit to rightly discern the situation and analyze it for us.
God is not saying we should not be hurt, angry, or need time to heal. We should do that and then get over it and move on. That’s where power lies. That’s where victory begins. The Word says we should be angry but we are not permitted to sin.
We sin when we over-analyze. There is a spiritual way to analyze things that instead of being bitter we become better. When we allow bitterness we open the door for other demons to enter our lives and afflict us. Disobedience opens the door for the enemy of our souls. We open the door for sicknesses, diseases, poverty, disfavor, et cetera.
Joseph could have wasted his life being bitter. He could have lost years by being bitter. He could have lost opportunities, but he chose to enjoy where he is on his way to being better and his way to where God is taking him to.
Joseph saw his brothers who sold him into slavery and he analyzed the situation well with the help of the Holy Spirit. He said what they meant for evil, God used it to preserve many lives. Can you allow that situation to become a tool in the hands of God?
I am not saying it will be easy. That’s where taking up your cross daily and following God is about.
Couples, learn to give that situation to God. You are reviled, persecuted, unjustly treated, abused, afflicted, cheated, et cetera. . Surrender it to the Lord. Give it to Him. Allow the Holy Spirit to make you see what it really is. Until Joseph saw correctly, he could not forgive and forget.
Jesus was able to pass through the cross because he saw well. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross. He could say father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing. God is able to turn things around and make your mess a message that will liberate thousands.
Don’t fight your spouse, forgive and move on. Learn what you are to learn. Don’t be afraid of being misjudged or treated unfairly. Jesus was wrongly and falsely accused. He shut His mouth and didn’t answer back. It was though, but in the end, He was justified and glorified
Ask the Lord to help you see well and He will come to your aid.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I amseeing well. I choose to forgive ahead.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the help of God concerning your marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Matthew 5:44 KJV But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
A few things to note: 1. Let the leadership of the church be in the know with your decisions. Not with the intent of manipulating you, but to provide counsel relating to your decisions.
2. Don’t join a church for the sole purpose of getting a guy or a lady. Go there because you want to serve God. 3. Serve God genuinely and get busy for Him. When you get busy for God, God will get busy for you. 4. Let the pastor know before you ask a lady for her hand in marriage. It helps you to be orderly about it. In one of the churches where I had pastored, a guy went to propose to a lady who is already married with child. This could have been avoided if he went about it the right way. 5. Before you say ‘Yes,’ tell your pastor about it. Ask questions about him, what he does and where he is coming from. Imagine this kind of conversation:
Lady: Pastor, I will be getting married next month. Pastor: Good. To who? Lady: His name is Buddy Pastor: What does he do? Lady: I don’t really know… I think business. Pastor: Is he born again? Lady: He said so Pastor: Where does he worship Lady: ehmmm…I have forgotten the name of his church Pastor: Is he a worker in his church? Lady: He said he will start after marriage Pastor: Does he drink? Lady: He said he has stopped…. except for small stout for his health.
And so on.
Is this lady doing the right thing? No! You don’t fall in love with strangers! This is why weddings are canceled a few days before the proposed date. 6. Let God guide you, not your feelings alone. Feelings come and go, but God’s word will endure forever. 7. Become friends first. Let it grow. Don’t go and tell somebody you met two hours ago that you are in love. You cannot love somebody you don’t know! There is a difference between love and lust. 8. If a guy in church who is active or who is a leader is asking for jeru trip, disconnect from such a person, or you will soon yield to the pressures. You don’t visit such a person at home! Definitely, something will happen.
For those in courtship, do you find yourself in a situation where you think you might have made a mistake? Well, you need to stop afflicting yourself. What you need to do now is the way forward and not some regretful emotions. Get into a prayerful mode and ask God to intervene. Seek counsel from your pastors and mentors as well. God will surely send help to you and make everything new for you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong person
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God opens the eyes of your understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. (Psalms 143:10 KJV)
Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. (Psalms 143:10 KJV)
In deciding who to marry, the singular most important factor is God’s direction. This cannot be traded with the fact that you met in church. Here is a story narrated by a lady some years back. I read the account in a Newspaper (It was either Punch or Daily Sun)
She was going out with a guy that she met in a big Pentecostal church in Lagos. Everything looked good. ‘At least they met in church,’ so she thought. The guy had a jeep and would often drop her for choir meetings and pick her up later. This went on for about six months.
One of those days after choir meeting, he came to pick her as usual. But that particular day, he seemed to be in a hurry. He asked that he needed to dash down to a place before dropping her. That was no issue for her; that was her fiancé talking!
So he drove quite a long distance and just drove and drove.
‘Sorry dear, we are almost there.’
The next thing was that he veered off the road and drove far into the bush. Then he packed, got down, dragged her down and wanted to cut off her head. The girl screamed, but there was nobody to help in the bush. He pressed the knife to her neck hard to decapitate her head, and the lady struggled. She was a little bit strong, she fought back, but the guy held the knife firmly on her neck, knowing she would become weak after losing much blood.
Then, some movements were heard. The guy jumped in his jeep and drove away, with the intention to come back for the head.
Some hunters showed up, but on seeing the sight of the girl, they ran away without offering help. The case could be turned on them.
In a daze, losing blood and already weak, this lady stood up and just began to move in just a particular direction. She got to a particular hut where she got help with herbal care and then she was later moved to town.
Of course, the ‘brother in the Lord’ was nowhere to be found.’ It was from the hospital bed that this lady narrated her ordeal.
You can read about this because she lived to tell her story. How many of these would have happened that the victims never lived to tell the story?
This story is to let you know that meeting a person in church does not automatically translate that you are in God’s will or God’s choice for your life.
You will always be responsible for the choice you make because you will always live with your choice.
There are different kinds of people in the church.
There are sincere people, deceptive people, and deceptive people who want to become sincere. There are newly born again Christians whose minds are not renewed at all. There are Christians who are still very carnal. There are those who are very religious who think being in the choir can insure their habitual sexual compromise. So you see all kind of people.
There are people who come to church not because they want to serve God but because they want a man or a lady.
Tomorrow, I will share with you lessons we can learn from the above story.
Don’t miss it!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong person. I will not be meeting the right person at the wrong place.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will arrange your meeting with the right person
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. (Psalms 143:10 KJV)
There are benefits to praying in the Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the spirit of God, the third part of the Godhead. He empowers us in the place of prayer, interceding for us when we don’t know how to pray or what to pray for.
“At that time the Holy Spirit will teach you what you must say.” Luke 12:12 ICB.
Praying in the Spirit is a great and powerful way of connecting to God. Once you have accepted Christ into your life as Lord and savior, you have a right to the Holy Spirit –
“God poured out to us that Holy Spirit fully through Jesus Christ our Saviour.” Titus 3:6 ICB.
Before Jesus ascended to heaven, he told the disciples that He had to leave for them to receive the Helper (the Holy Spirit) –
“But I tell you the truth. It is better for you that I go away. when I go away I will send the Helper to you. If I do not go away the Helper will not come”. John 16:7 ICB.
After Christ’s departure, the believers received the Holy Spirit as promised, on the day of Pentecost. They received tongues of fire – praying in languages they didn’t know. That’s one way of praying in the Spirit.
You are speaking in heavenly language when praying in the Holy Ghost. It is direct access to God. Only you and God know what is spoken. God’s spirit has connected with your spirit. At that point, both spirits have become one. Praying in the Spirit thereby brings such unity of spirits that is so great.
Praying in the Spirit helps you to concentrate more on God and reduces distractions. God vividly shows you things in your spirit, you can see things through your spiritual eyes. As God reveals things to you, more faith is released in you, praises flow from you, and strength is made more available for you.
Tomorrow, we will see some more benefits of praying in the spirit as children.
Prayer: Dear Holy Spirit, thank you for all that you are. I ask that you come upon me and teach me how to pray. Help me to pray from the heart of the father, in Jesus name. Amen.
Thismorning, I will like to share with you how to recognize if you are going too far in a marriage. There is no child of God that outrightly proceeds into an adulterous relationship. It is usually a subtle happenstance, an innocent friendship, albeit, the subtlety and innocence would never be an excuse for compromise.
There is a difference between a platonic friendship and a romantic relationship. When you have a platonic relationship with another married person, there would be no qualms. But the moment the relationship crosses the line from platonic to romantic, there would be issues and one can be easily trapped. An emotional affair is just a step before a full-blown affair and it is as sinful as adultery.
The question then is at what point does a friendship cross from platonic to romantic?
1. When that which ought to be kept secret between you and your spouse is divulged to the other person. This is the first sign that you are playing with fire. When a married person begins to share with you what ought to be secrets between him and his spouse, it is a good place to run away.
Or when as a married person, you begin to share with that young single lady what ought to be the exclusive reserve for you and your spouse, you are crossing the line and trying to hug some fire.
Also, when a married woman begins to look forward to seeing a single male friend, adultery is knocking.
2. When you catch yourself fantasising or daydreaming about somebody else apart from your spouse. You are travelling beyond the platonic into the romantic, and definitely, something will soon happen that might culminate into regrets later.
3. When you start discussing your marital problems with somebody else. When a married person of the opposite sex starts discussing his marital issues or starts reporting his spouse, the conversation is probably going too far. You might be feeling cool that the person trusts you to divulge such prized information, but if you are not careful, emotions would soon be involved.
You might even have the righteousness complex where you become a counsellor, trying to encourage him or her. The problem is that compassion can turn into confusion very quickly. It is all a ploy when a married person stands before you like or she needs help from you.
What wisdom does a thirty-five-year-old married man need from a single beautiful twenty-three-year-old girl? Where are the pastors and counsellors? It is a trap. At what point did you become a counsellor? Did you read Guidance and counselling in school? Many people have attempted to counsel others like that and ended up cancelling their destinies.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not careless with my destiny
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, guide me from stepping into wrong paths
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. [ Pro 6:23 ]” (Psa 119:105, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Run away from every friendship that has crossed the line
Marriage likeany other structure or organization can fall or fail. Ours will not fall in Jesus’ name.
It is amazing how people, CEOs, general overseers, managing directors put a lot of energy and structures into their businesses, organization, churches, and empires and care little about their marriages.
We think differently about our businesses and differently about our marriages. It won’t work that way. We should aim at putting as much effort, prayers, faith, learning, structures, principles that we put into other vocations into our marriages and things will work out better.
To get a different result, we should do things differently. We respect team work in our organizations, let’s do same in our marriages. We respect other people’s opinions, we are kind and nice to others, we value other people’s uniqueness, let’s do same with our spouses. We spend time, energy, money learning strategies and implementing new ways of doing things, let’s do so with our marriages too.
Here are five simple things that will help keep our marriages strong
1. Never neglect your spouse no matter what Neglect could be in various dimensions. First seek what neglect is to your spouse. Be willing to adjust and avoid neglecting each other spiritually, emotionally and physically. Neglect will cause your love for each other to dwindle.
2. Never stop real communication Communication is very important. In fact, the health of a marriage can be determined by their level of conversation, it’s quality and quantity.
Communication in marriage should not just be reduced to passing of important information and instruction. To keep communication going, there must be a lot of understanding.
Decide to have meaningful, heart to heart conversation with your spouse daily. It warms your heart to each other. Never be too busy. Sexual communication is also important.
3. Never take each other for granted Taking each other for granted is similar to neglect but slightly different. When you take your spouse for granted, you treat them casually or with levity, or without much concern. Never be a one man gang that is always, only concerned about your own affairs.
4. Never harbor hurt or unforgiveness When there is hurt or offenses, try and talk about it. Make your self easy to talk to and with. Some spouses have made themselves so defensive their spouse can’t express their real feelings to them. Hurts will cage your feelings and make your heartthrob grow cold towards you.
5. Never stop forgiving, praying and loving your spouse No matter how rough or tough it may seem. Never stop forgiving your spouse. Never stop praying and trusting God for the best in your marriage.
God is able to bring His beautiful plans and purpose out of your marriage. He is able to make all things work out for your good.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will never fail
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me wisdom I need in my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Col 3:18 – 19 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
In the last post, we talked about praying from the bible. Today, we will be looking at some of the importance of prayer.
Prayer is how we connect to God, so, the more time you spend with God, the more you learn how to pray.
How does spending more time with God increase your capacity to pray?
More time spent in God’s presence helps you to develop your spiritual muscles, much the same way you put your body through a regular exercise routine to build your muscles and level of fitness. And you keep adding more minutes to it as you go on. It’s the same with prayers. This is one importance of prayer. The more you stay in God’s presence, soaking yourself into His presence, reading his word (the bible), and attending church regularly, the more you grow spiritually.
You can increase from ten minutes a day to an hour. The more you want to grow the more time you have to give to prayer. The length can even be broken down into little chunks spread over the day. You can decide to spend thirty minutes in prayers early in the morning and thirty minutes of bible reading and meditation later in the day. How you do it doesn’t matter. The major thing is that you are praying.
Another importance of prayer is that spending more time in prayer will increase your capacity to receive more from God. You get to know more things about God, discover new things about his word, and Christianity.
Sometimes, you need to spend more time with God and/or His word concerning a particular issue before you get your answer. That could be how God wants to reveal the answer to you.
Another way this will help you is in your daily life. God will give you answers or solutions to situations in your daily life. Things that will be hard for others to accomplish, you will do so fast and with little or no effort, just because God is your helper and constantly is with you. This is an importance of prayer.
God loves to spend time with you. It’s how He grows His relationship with you. You bond with Him through prayer. And the more time you spend with Him, the more the bond between the two of you grows stronger and stronger.
When your bond with God is very strong, you get many benefits that others won’t have. That’s because the God of the universe counts you as his friend. This is a very good importance of prayer.
So, increase your time with God. Add more minutes to that prayer routine today.
God bless you as you do so. May He give you strength for this. Amen.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for connecting with me in prayer. I ask that You strengthen me more as I increase my prayer time, having learnt some of the importance of prayer.
Action point: Add five more minutes to your prayer time today. Increase it gradually as the week progresses.
This is the concluding part of our series on what ladies need to know about men before saying ‘I do’.
We have talked about
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him
6. Be ready to pray for him. Pray for your husband. Don’t let your early years in marriage be characterized with quarrels and hurts and wounds. You will slow yourself down that way. Yes, he is not a good man, he is not caring, he is not loving, she is not submissive, she is not respectful…but you are married! You are one in God’s eyes. You need each other’s agreement; you need each other’s prayers!
Pray for him from the depth of your heart and support him, don’t close up your spirit on him because of some issues…support him. Never open your mouth to curse him; it would be like cursing yourself because you are one!
7. Be ready to help him You are a helper. There are only two people referred to as ‘helper’ in the whole of Genesis to Revelation. That is the Holy Spirit and your wife!
That is why you have been told never to grieve the Holy Spirit and never to be bitter with your wife. That is why you don’t lift your hand against your helper! Ladies, be there to help him succeed. Support his endeavours.
Singles, you help your fiancée when you refuse to compromise. You are not helping him when he says ‘let’s kiss baby, and you too submit your lips for the next two hours like you are submitting a paper in the exam hall! Tell him, if you are hungry, you go by Ponmo or some cow-hide in the market, you ain’t chewing my mouth! These lips are reserved till marriage!
The power of life and death lies in your mouth, you use it to give direction to your life, not for kissing the one you are not married to! After, your marriage, you can do all of that, even for days, and God will still be excited about it!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, help me to know what I ought to know that I do not know
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Today, we continue on our topic which we started few days back.
We have talked about
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually
Here we go;
4. Be ready to cook for him Now, this is very important. Food is very important and it is something constant in a family system.
‘Whatever happened to house-helps?’ Yes, they can help, but don’t let them take over the kitchen completely except in situations where you are your husband agree to employ trusted family cooks. But this is not usually the scenario in young families. Not a few ladies have their families disrupted by house-helps who were lured by the man in the house.
Even if the house-help will help in certain times, which is inevitable, try as much as possible to serve your husband yourself. This is very important. By the time you are not always there for days, while a young girl serves your husband, anything can happen if the man lacks self-control or has no fear for God.
While you are still single, don’t leave your mum to do everything, get in there and learn all you can.
Don’t be like the lady who got married and for days they were just eating out. After a while the husband got tired and requested for Amala. (A Nigerian local delicacy) Then trouble began. So the pot of water is on the fire, and she calls her mum to ask, ‘Mum the pot is on the fire now, at what minute do I add the yam powder?
5. Be ready to dress for him This is important as well. You should learn to dress for your husband at home. Why is this important? Men are moved by sight. They are moved by what they see, including anointed men and apostles and popes!
Don’t be like a lady who is so busy tied up in a wrapper and that was the last picture her husband saw before leaving for work. By the time he comes back, she is back in the wrapper trying to get food ready! Meanwhile, at work, he is accosted by this delectable, adorable and impeccably dressed secretary every morning who is saying ‘I am available’ with her body language! If the guy doesn’t’ know what he is doing or is brainless like Message translation says concerning adultery, he will simply mess up.
I don’t like wrappers and my wife doesn’t like it as well. So unromantic! It is not a sin to wear a lingerie at home! Dress cute for your husband at home and learn to set him in the mood. He likes that, he may not verbalize that, but I am helping him to do that now.
Singles, watch what you wear to your fiancée’s house. Don’t kill the guy; let him fulfill destiny! You are going to see him so that you can pray together by 9.00pm in a mini skirt that has a slit! How will the guy pray? The eyes will be turning red, the tongues will change and you will think it is the anointing? Nay, he is suffering and his tongues is probably, ‘O Lord deliver me from what I see with my eyes!’
When they David saw Bathsheba taking her bath, a seed for adultery and murder was sown. When Samson saw a harlot, he went in unto her. He saw another lady, and he could not speak correctly again, he told his father,
‘Get her for me to wife!’ Check it out in your Bible!
Men can lose their temper, temperature and temperament altogether when they see a beautiful lady!!! Men, can you bear me witness?
What other things do you need to know before saying I do?
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know the things to do to advance my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for wisdom to know the things to do.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write down the things you are learning.
Sometimes, husbands want to please or do things that their wives enjoy. They experience frustration in trying to make them happy, especially since their wives are emotional beings. One moment they are happy, the other moment they are not so happy. Since their emotions are not stable, it becomes difficult for the husbands to know how to meet them at their point of need.
I think there are three areas or ways that any time, a woman will always find enjoyable. A man has to be patient with his wife. An impatient husband will always be seen as a not too caring husband.
If every husband can do these three things, there will always be smiles and peace in the marriage.
1. Be Understanding 2. Be tender 3. Buy her things.
1. Be understanding
The man is the head and so makes a lot of decisions. A woman does certain things and may not think of the consequences, maybe because she is emotional. The logic of the husband usually corrects all these.
But in correcting, he should try and not be hard. He will be tempted to be hard and harsh in correcting her. But if you don’t yield to temptation it will be good.
There is always gratefulness that every wife expresses to an understanding husband. It is understanding that makes a husband not flare up and get angry at every provocation. It is understanding that makes a husband read in between the lines and put himself in her shoes.
2. Be tender Most men are by nature wired to be leaders and could be hard. But for the sake of peace in the home, you have to be tender and choose to lead lovingly.
The password of any woman is always being tender to her. The woman does not need the tenderness of any other man but that of her own husband.
The husband must know that he has a responsibility to always meet this need of being tender. Your wife enjoys this more than giving her a million dollars.
3. Buy her gifts There is a chord inside every woman that buying gifts touches. Ladies are known to like anything shiny. A woman can never have enough gifts, there is always room for more.
The gifts don’t have to be big or expensive. It is the gesture of being remembered and spending money to buy her stuff that matters.
The gifts should be consistent, not once in a while. Some husbands think when they buy her gifts often, she takes them for granted. Not true at all.
How often do you want your wife happy? If your answer is often, then buy her gifts often. Gifts mean taking her out sometimes. Spending time with her and just taking care of her.
Spend your money on her. Don’t be afraid to spend on your wife, God will provide. It is said that when you want to spoil your wife, God will always provide the money.
First, let it be in your heart to do and God will put it in your hands.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that every doubt will be destroyed
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Php 4:7, MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Spend time in God’s presence
You should learn how to pray from the Bible. The bible is full of so many power-packed prayers from ordinary people like you and me; people who faced one issue or another at different times in bible history.
It’s a reservoir of prayers said out of fear, pain, and loneliness. Some were faced with destruction and had to cry out for help. Some more said prayers out of confusion, hopelessness, and despair.
Prayers for mercy, deliverance, and strength are found in the bible, said by people who were faced with huge challenges. This is one of the reasons you should learn to pray from the Bible.
Sometimes, God can lead you to a particular book, chapter, and verse in the bible as a guide to pray with. Remember the part where obedience was mentioned, in the last post? When directed to read from the bible, obey. That way, you get to know what God wants to teach or tell you about that burning issue in your mind.
Someone you can read about in the Bible is David. His story will encourage you to pray from the Bible. You will see the many times and ways he prayed to God. He asked for help, encouragement, forgiveness, provision, and deliverance. He even asked God to punish him alone and not the people for the sin he committed in 1 Chron. 21:1-13.
David praised and worshipped God a lot in the psalms. His prayers also show that he too had fears and prayed about them. He had hope in God to save him from all his enemies. And the Bible records that God gave him victory over all his enemies.
Learn to pray from the Bible. When David was afraid, lost, and unsure of what to do –
“Later David prayed to the Lord. David said, “Should I go up to any of the cities of Judah? The lord said to David, “Go”. David asked, “Where should I go?” The Lord answered, “To Hebron”. 1 Sam. 2:1 ICB
When he sinned against God in 2 Sam. 2:12, he owned up to it immediately – “
…I have sinned against the Lord.”
As you learn how to pray from the Bible, which includes reading and meditation from the bible, God will bless you.
Prayer: Lord, as you lead me to read the bible, help me to grasp the meaning of what I read. Help me meditate on these readings so I can learn how to pray. Amen.
Action point: Read some Psalms of David. Note the different ways he prayed for help, forgiveness, and other things.
Ok, I promised to continue from where we left off yesterday and I will keep to my promise as some new topics are screaming at me right now. Yesterday we looked at the first two things that are very important before you say ‘I do’, which are
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him
We still have five more points to go.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him 6. Be ready to pray for him. 7. Be ready to help him
Today we continue from the third one.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually You and I know this is very important right? But here are few things about that. Now, talking to married couples first, I want to tell wives, if it is possible, try as much as you can to always satisfy your husband sexually. It is the number one preventive for an adulterous lifestyle. I am not trying to justify any man’s recklessness in his family, but I am saying a few things can be guard against.
Young wives, you need to know that jeru trip is not a tool for punishment or reward. When he is nice and has bought something for you, you cooperate with him. When he has not been nice, you start singing ‘my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes, they all are paining me! That is not fair!
Well, the scripture admonishes couples, ‘defraud ye not one another!’ The scripture calls it fraud when you deny one another without genuine reasons! And really, genuine reasons should only come up once in a while!
Why is jeru trip so important to men? It is because of their wiring, it is not their fault. However, the scripture makes it clear that a sexual relationship should only be with your spouse, not with a colleague or somebody you met in a one-nightstand somewhere! The consequences of adultery are debilitating. It comes with agony and regrets!
If you are not enjoying it as a wife, you should let your husband know so that you can find ways to resolve that. It is not right to keep rebuffing his advances because ‘you are not enjoying it!’ You should be enjoying it to the fullest because one of the reasons why God made jeru trip is pleasure. There could be many reasons why you don’t enjoy it and you might need to see a trusted counselor together (never alone) who can keep your issues confidential.
If you feel your husband rushes you and is never patient, teach him and lead him gently until he learns to wait for you. I would have gone deeper on this, but singles are reading this too, so I don’t want to ‘afflict’ their souls! Lol.
Let him know areas you would want him to touch. Every man ought to know every lady needs an average of twenty minutes to be fully ready! So ladies, when you notice your husband has been reacting, withdrawing, getting angry at little things, getting irritated at almost everything, complaining about what he used to ignore, check out whether you have been refusing his advances and his ego is not allowing him to ‘beg’ for it. It is actually not a good place for any man to be because a sexually starved man is capable of messing up anytime!
Protect your marriage by enjoying each other and never denying each other. For a lady, it is more than a physical workout, it is an emotional thing for her, so when she is hurt, she may not be able to release herself. This is why it is important to forgive easily and let go…because you are still one! It is also why you should treat your wife gently and be caring!
For the singles, I mentioned some things yesterday. You are not to satisfy anybody until after you say I do, which is in marriage. You can put forth all kinds of lame excuses why it should happen but that is not God’s order. If you are going to have God’s support, favour, and help in this life, then you had better do it God’s way. And I really don’t think anybody wants to live without God’s support, favour, and help in this life. Those are what would distinguish and make a difference in your life.
If as a married couple, you are already involved with adultery or with pre-marital sex as a single, it is never too late to ask God for forgiveness and turn around in your ways. That is how not to delay yourself or slow yourself down.
Conclusively, you will never be able to ‘insure’ any relationship or ‘keep’ a man through compromise. Your body is not a commodity to trade; it is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect your body and don’t trade it around because God puts a lot of value on your body and on your person!
To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will give you wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Do you know how to pray? Prayer is an integral part of being a Christian. It’s how you connect to God, an avenue where you and God meet. Think of prayer as a playground where you go to play and have fun with friends. But in this context, God is your friend that wants to play (connect with you) with you.
Apart from prayer helping you to connect to God, it also enables you to draw strength from God. Praying is also how you display your faith in Him to release His power into your situations.
What happens when you don’t know how to pray? You’re in church and all the adults are praying and you don’t how to join in. Maybe you have the urge to pray and don’t know what to say. There’s a picture in your mind but you don’t know the right words to use to release this picture.
News flash! I can bet you that your parents or all those adults at church were once like you too. They didn’t become prayer warriors in a day. They went through a process. Even the disciples of Jesus asked Him to teach them how to pray –
“…Lord, please teach us to pray, too” Luke11:1. ICB.
They asked because they wanted to know how to pray. There was a desire. Do you have that same desire? Be like the followers of Christ ask God for help to pray just like the disciples did.
Asking for help is not bad. Even Jesus encourages us to keep asking –
“Continue to ask, and God will give to you. Continue to search, and you will find. Continue to knock, and the door will be open” Matthew 7:7 ICB.
Here is another translation
Ask in faith – “So I tell you to ask for things in prayer. And if you believe that you have received those things, then they will be yours”. Mark 11:24. ICB.
Obedience is also important. As you ask (to be taught how to pray) and receive, say the words as the Holy Spirit drops them in your heart. Don’t hold back.
It should beour aim in marriage to want to do those things that please our spouses, whether you are the wife or husband. I remembered how I used to read about anything that has to do with marriage when I first got married. I wanted to have a good marriage and so I looked for ways to improve our marriage.
In my twenty-one-plus years of marriage, I have found these 3 things particularly heartwarming. No matter how these three things will make your husband be endeared to you.
They are;
1. Good food 2. Jeru trip 3. Attention
1. Good food Men enjoy good food, well prepared. If you have a husband that can cook and enjoys cooking you are sure blessed. But basically, the kitchen is not their place. They enjoy varieties but you have to know your own husband. Some don’t like experiments. They have a sensitive tummy and so won’t try out anything different.
You will do good to spice up your cooking. These days that women are career women, it may be difficult. But anything for your marriage and home is worth it. The jobs will go but what will remain is your marriage and your husband.
2. Attention This comes in different flavors but attention is still attention. As a married woman, your husband does not want to have the slightest feeling that someone else is taking your attention in any way.He wants to be reassured over and over again that he is the only one you are dedicated to in terms of time and attention. Your husband also enjoys it if you spend time with him talking and playing.
3. Jeru trip Every man enjoys jeru trip. What jeru trip is for a man is different from what it is for a woman. For a man, it releases tension. All his creativity comes alive. It is like a renewal of strength and rejuvenation. So your husband enjoys it. So if you are a married woman, just know that you have signed for these three things for life.
You must up your game not to be found wanting in these three areas. Never complain, never wish your husband was less demanding but be up to the task and the Lord will help you.
Some husbands are more demanding than usual but God will give you the grace you need.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am able to meet my husband’s need
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the grace to meet the needs of my husband
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 31:11 (KJV) The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
In today’sdevotional, we’ll be looking at “Overcoming Your Marital Challenges Through Patience”. We may have so many ‘buts’, but one thing remains which stands sure and that is you are married.
Yes, married for life and married till death do you part. But marriage requires a lot of patience, hard work, and some more patience. This is what we need to overcome marital challenges that will come our way.
Like the movie, I and my husband saw some time ago. It was a pathetic story of a young lady who married her high school lover, got married against the advice of her sisters all in the name of love. She kept spending all she had for this guy who kept on promising things will be better.
She was the one funding the guy’s education and finally when she thought the guy would get a job to help her, he was busy with a project. The lady worked two jobs just to make ends meet. They spent all her mum’s money left for her till they were bankrupt.
This guy couldn’t get a job because he was an ex-convict. He devoted all his life to his project with the promise things will get better. The lady was frustrated. And one day out of her frustration decided to file for a divorce coupled with the fact that she suspected him of adultery.
After eighteen years of waiting for all his wonderful promises, she decided to call it quit. She was tired and frustrated. After some months of the lady giving upon him, his project hit it big. Her once not so good for nothing husband became a millionaire. She tried to get back but it was too late.
Her ex-husband was married to the same lady she accused him of having an affair with. She went through a season of guilt, shame, jealousy, and rage. All the things her ex-husband promised her were now to be enjoyed by another woman.
She loves her husband but… she could no longer wait. She was frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed. She could no longer wait and she had wrong advice from her sisters.
Please, whatever you are going through in your marriage, know that with a lot of patience you can overcome. You will still have your dreams come through. Don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t be like this woman who eventually killed herself out of jealousy. She labored but another ate the fruit of her labour. That will not be your portion
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be wait for your salvation in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:12 (KJV) Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin today to acknowledge the person of the Holy spirit.
In this episode we continue learning how children can hear from God, and today, we would be starting with the story of Ehiz.
Ehiz didn’t like how his brothers treated him. They always teased him about his love for reading and studying. They called him names like “effico”, “bookworm” and more. He wished he could just tell them what was on his mind. They weren’t that perfect too. He knew their flaws too and what they did in secret.
At church, he learnt about forgiveness. The Sunday school teacher used the story of Joseph to explain how to forgive. Through this he knew what God was saying, for this is a way that children can hear from God.
But that was going to be hard for Ehiz. So, he approached the teacher and told him about what he was facing at home. The teacher explained the reason why he had to forgive his brothers just like Joseph did.
By the time they were through, Ehiz learnt why he had to forgive and how to do so. It was a relief to him. He wasn’t going to continue in unforgiveness towards his brothers. He had heard God; children can hear from God!
When you speak to other believers about an issue, you get more knowledge. They help you to understand what you are feeling, why it is wrong or right, and what to do about it. When the believer is older than you, you get to hear about their or other people’s experiences on issues like yours.
So, find a believer like yourself and share your fears or issues with them. This is one way that children can hear from God.
1. Be ready to massage his ego Every man has an ego. It is part of him and that is what makes him a man. He needs that ego to survive and to be the best he can be. While I don’t subscribe to men who are overly egocentric and who manipulate their fiancées or wives as a result, I know that as a lady you should be ready to stroke that ego and not crush it. If you keep on crushing a man’s ego, you will keep seeing the other side of him that is not really nice! How do you crush a man’s ego?
Let me give you a sample. You and your husband are dining alongside another couple. The other lady goes like, ‘one thing I like about my husband is that he is so patient with me, always available to even help me out in the kitchen most times” And then, you go like, “You are so lucky! My own husband? He is so lazy and behaves like an impatient drone. Rather than for him to help me out in the kitchen, he prefers to sit down playing cards with little kids like a deranged man. I wish he is like your husband…you are so lucky o.”
This looks like an extreme example, but anything like this, you have just finished the man, and he would look for ways to finish you as well because you just crushed his ego publicly! A man’s ego is so important to him that even if you try crushing it in privacy when you are alone, he will react immediately, not to talk of openly. It is not the way to go.
2. Be ready to respect him Respect is a major issue for men. So major that they are not ready to compromise in that area. So make up your mind to respect and be submissive to your husband if you really want to enjoy your marriage. Interestingly, the more submissive you are, the more he will listen to you eventually, and the more you will be able to influence him.
If you are a lady, and your song is ‘he never listens to me,’ I can tell you what is happening. Somewhere in his mind, he believes you are disrespectful.’ So any attempt to make contributions he flares up! Do you know why? He sees your contributions as trying to usurp his authority and he shuts you down or ignores you. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, rather than fight back or withdraw in frustration, try making adjustments in how you respect him, even in your choice of words and tone of voice, it all matters.
But Pastor, he doesn’t love me, why should I respect him? The instruction in Ephesians 5 is not a 50-50 contract. It’s 100% instruction. You are not to respect him because he loves you. You are to submit to him because he is your husband. The same goes for men, you don’t love your wife because she respects you, you are to love her because she is your wife. When couples start seeing it this way, they will be amazed at the changes that will take place in their marriage!
Now, listen to this, if you are so independent and you are not ready to respect and submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage! It doesn’t matter whether you earn more than him or whether you are more traveled, he remains the head of the house. There cannot be two heads in the house, any two-headed creature is a monster. This is how God instituted it, and that is how it is going to work. But sincerely, in an atmosphere of love, the wife does not need to be shouted upon, ‘I am the head of the house!’ Like somebody said, the moment you have to keep screaming that, you have just lost the headship!
For singles in courtship, here is what you need to know. Never ever try disobeying God in any way because you want to respect your fiancé. For example, he asks you to come over and spend the weekend with him while you are not yet married. You have every right to disagree on that because you and I know what that would lead to. In fact, you need to review any kind of relationship where the guy is putting pressure on you for pre-marital sex. So, in your
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God. I know how to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will help you to know what to do per time.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
