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This is a continuation of yesterday’s article.

1. Be ready to massage his ego
Every man has an ego. It is part of him and that is what makes him a man. He needs that ego to survive and to be the best he can be. While I don’t subscribe to men who are overly egocentric and who manipulate their fiancées or wives as a result, I know that as a lady you should be ready to stroke that ego and not crush it. If you keep on crushing a man’s ego, you will keep seeing the other side of him that is not really nice! How do you crush a man’s ego?

Let me give you a sample. You and your husband are dining alongside another couple. The other lady goes like, ‘one thing I like about my husband is that he is so patient with me, always available to even help me out in the kitchen most times” And then, you go like, “You are so lucky! My own husband? He is so lazy and behaves like an impatient drone. Rather than for him to help me out in the kitchen, he prefers to sit down playing cards with little kids like a deranged man. I wish he is like your husband…you are so lucky o.”

This looks like an extreme example, but anything like this, you have just finished the man, and he would look for ways to finish you as well because you just crushed his ego publicly! A man’s ego is so important to him that even if you try crushing it in privacy when you are alone, he will react immediately, not to talk of openly. It is not the way to go.

2. Be ready to respect him
Respect is a major issue for men. So major that they are not ready to compromise in that area. So make up your mind to respect and be submissive to your husband if you really want to enjoy your marriage. Interestingly, the more submissive you are, the more he will listen to you eventually, and the more you will be able to influence him.

If you are a lady, and your song is ‘he never listens to me,’ I can tell you what is happening. Somewhere in his mind, he believes you are disrespectful.’ So any attempt to make contributions he flares up! Do you know why? He sees your contributions as trying to usurp his authority and he shuts you down or ignores you. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, rather than fight back or withdraw in frustration, try making adjustments in how you respect him, even in your choice of words and tone of voice, it all matters.

But Pastor, he doesn’t love me, why should I respect him? The instruction in Ephesians 5 is not a 50-50 contract. It’s 100% instruction. You are not to respect him because he loves you. You are to submit to him because he is your husband. The same goes for men, you don’t love your wife because she respects you, you are to love her because she is your wife. When couples start seeing it this way, they will be amazed at the changes that will take place in their marriage!

Now, listen to this, if you are so independent and you are not ready to respect and submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage! It doesn’t matter whether you earn more than him or whether you are more traveled, he remains the head of the house. There cannot be two heads in the house, any two-headed creature is a monster. This is how God instituted it, and that is how it is going to work. But sincerely, in an atmosphere of love, the wife does not need to be shouted upon, ‘I am the head of the house!’ Like somebody said, the moment you have to keep screaming that, you have just lost the headship!

For singles in courtship, here is what you need to know. Never ever try disobeying God in any way because you want to respect your fiancé. For example, he asks you to come over and spend the weekend with him while you are not yet married. You have every right to disagree on that because you and I know what that would lead to. In fact, you need to review any kind of relationship where the guy is putting pressure on you for pre-marital sex. So, in your

I have the wisdom of God. I know how to make my relationship work

Ask that God will help you to know what to do per time.

Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

Pray in the spirit

Isaiah 54


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