Ade grew up in a family where he was never loved. The only love he understood was the constant criticism he got from his mother who thought the only way to make a child responsible was to use very harsh words. His father left many scars on his body from the buckles of belts that lacerated his body on different occasions. He never knew what real love was.
Angie’s case was not different. It was not so much of physical beatings, but the emotional abuses were as intense as the physical abuse that she grew up with. She grew up in self-hate never accepting herself and always believing something was wrong with her. Even though she was a beautiful girl, she never believed that because her parents never appreciated her once.
The harsh words and negative language from her parents in her growing years were like seeds that grew up into gigantic oaks, reaching out with their branches and limiting her from making any meaningful progress in life.
Ade and Angie met later in life and got married. Both had dysfunctional backgrounds, they never loved themselves and so they could not love each other. The same use of harsh words that Angie so hated became her weapon against Ade. The same beatings that Ade endured and hated became his lifestyle as he physically abused Angie several times.
They were both at each other’s throats demanding from each other what they never experienced and what they could not offer. They found themselves doing exactly what they loathed. The abused had become the abusers! Eventually, their seven months old marriage ended in divorce.
They both think something was wrong with the other, and they were right!
One of the things you need to understand about life is the fact that you have to love yourself first.
You can never find true love when you don’t love yourself truly! Nobody has a business loving you without loving yourself first! Most of the time, we try to cover this self-hate with some activities like sports or some hobbies. But the issues remain deep down, waiting to surface at any provocation.
Ladies often cover it with nice clothes and make-up, and a very good mask, but all that never solves the deep-seated need to love yourself appropriately.
If you are already married, you need to ask yourself, do I love myself the way I should? If you don’t, you will keep having issues with your spouse! You will keep demanding from your spouse what he or she can never offer you.
Most times, it is only God and you that can offer you that which you are looking for in your spouse! So, stop putting unnecessary pressure on your spouse! The scenario becomes even more intense when the couple is both entangled in the mesh of self-hate!
What does the scriptures say?
That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. (Philemon 1:6 KJV)
You see, this is powerful! Your faith in God, the result you get in God as you relate with Him becomes effectual or productive when you acknowledge or accept every good thing that is in you!
You have to love yourself before your faith becomes effective. You have to stop all the self-hate and believe that God has a plan for you! You have to learn to stop thinking and dwelling on negative thoughts that pull you down and weigh you down. You have to fill your heart with God’s word instead, which promises you a glorious present and an incredibly blessed future!
You have to stop seeking love from guys as you offer your body for one after the other, as you can never find the answer you are desperately searching for that way! That answer is only in God! You can only find rest in God!
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)
I always love this in Message translation. It says
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Jesus says I will show you real rest. I will show you how to really love yourself and be loved. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace! You will discover that loving yourself can be so easy.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the love of God. I love myself.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom in the area of loving yourself.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself. ’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:31 ESV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life and see areas where you haven’t been loving yourself enough.
There is nothing wrong with loving your wife or wife-to-be. There is nothing wrong with thinking about her. In fact, the scripture advises you to do that. Before you say hurray, however, there is a way you love your fiancée and there is a way you love your wife.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love (Proverbs 5:18-19 KJV)
This is talking to married people and not singles in courtship. It didn’t say, rejoice with the fiancée of thy youth or with your wife to be…
So verse 19 clearly establishes that God does not want you fondling and caressing each other. That is always the beginning of compromise.
When two people who are genuinely in love start petting each other, they will always do more and more each time they meet until they find themselves entangled in the web of compromise. It is called the law of progression and it happens all the time.
I know how your body feels when you are in love. I was once in love back then on the campus in the early nineties, and oh my God! Your body is mostly on fire!
You can continue to spiritualize it and deceive yourself that nothing can happen until you find yourself messing up. Or you can tell your fiancée, please, you have got to help me. I am in love with you and this is how my body feels. We must not compromise. Always caution me, if I am being inappropriate! And sometimes, it is the lady that needs to say that to the guy!
You see, when you do that, you are consciously protecting your destiny and preserving your relationship with God, which is what will make your relationship work out and lead to marriage!
How do you love a lady appropriately?
1. You are the protector of her body and her virtue A good man will say from the very first day, “I love you dearly and because of that, I have a strong physical desire each time I see you, but we will not compromise. We will obey God’s principles in order that our courtship is protected. We will put our bodies under.
I will not allow my body to take charge and give me direction, I will allow my spirit to gain ascendancy and I will not lose my testimony. You make up your mind to wait and not compromise. That way, trust will be established and your intending marriage will be founded on a good foundation.
2. Never lift your hands against her I have heard cases of singles in courtship that have been beaten severely by their fiancé. I have also had a few cases of ladies who slap the guys.
Well, you shouldn’t cope with any form of physical abuse on any level in your courtship. Don’t suffer silently thinking it will get better after marriage.
Deliver yourself like a bird and fly! If he is used to donating a few slaps here and there for you, and you still cling to him in sexual lust, something is seriously wrong. It is either he controls you with his money or there is a soul tie effected through pre-marital sex.
Whichever way, you need to deliver yourself quickly! Don’t go through all of life been treated like a doormat. You have a destiny to fulfill and don’t allow anybody to play the role of “God” in your life.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not being inappropriate. I know how to love my fiancee
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the grace to always put your body under
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings. (Proverbs 5:21 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide how you want to love your fiancee
In itself, it is not a sin, but it will lead you into sin as there are dangers involved. All through the scriptures, you will never find where it says “thou shall not sleepover in the house of thy loved one.” But is it wise or expedient to do such a thing? No. since it is not wise, we can conclude by saying it is foolish. Therefore, it is plain foolishness to go and sleepover in his place when you are not married.
In life, some things are not necessarily sinful, but they can be dangerous. Using rat poison as a coking ingredient is not a sin, but the experimental cook may not live to tell the story!
1 Cor 6:12 (KJV) All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
See how message translation puts it;
1 Cor 6:12 (MSG) Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.
If you are planning to get married, and he does not pester you with coming over to stay in his place, and you know he doesn’t have other girlfriends he is using to “fill in the gap,” then he is a good man. You should respect that.
It is not that he doesn’t feel like having some jeru trip, it is because he is mature and he has the fear of God. Every man feels like tasting it, but if he never pesters you, you need to respect that. You don’t go and ask him if you can come over! You will be inviting the dangers that way.
As a lady, you need to understand how to allow God preserve your relationships so that it leads to marriage. It is not something you can do by yourself.
You will never be able to preserve or “insure” a relationship with jeru trip. It will never work, because that is not how God has instituted it.
Do you want to tie down a man with jeru trip? Well, he loses himself five minutes after. Then the next day, you will need to tie him again. You keep tying him and he keeps losing himself, and when he is tired of you, he will lose himself and go away forever!
You need to understand the basic difference between you both. A man is logical. When you make yourself available like that, he is wondering and thinking how many guys you are doing that for.
A lady, on the other hand, is relationship-oriented, so she thinks if she can offer her body, the deal is sealed. No, you just ruptured the deal, because, the one that really keeps a relationship is God. So when you displease God, things are not going to work.
I once spoke to a lady who called me on phone and lamented that there is a curse over her life because she cannot find a husband to marry.
Upon interviewing her, I saw where things went wrong. She is sexually involved with a married man, and somehow she still thinks that things will work out that way. She will go to church, pray, have vigils, and then go over to his place for jeru trap sessions!
She will never be found that way. The prayers and vigils are religious exercises that will amount to a waste of time and energy. That scenario is a combination of religious spirit and spirit of deception .
You see, there are things you do, and nothing will ever work out. It doesn’t matter how many deliverance sessions you have done or if you are the only person that cleans the whole church, if you keep going back to do what you are not supposed to do, you get God handicapped in doing what He wants to do in your life and you practically slow yourself down!
That is why the scripture says, “God is not mocked!”
You cannot corner God with some religious exercise!
In conclusion, God’s arms are ever open to embrace you and give you a new start when you genuinely repent and decide to regulate your life by His principles. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery, “I do not condemn you, but go and sin no more!
That voice is still reverberating across generations and transcending above societal norms and technological inventions, “Go and sin no more!”
Check your life and clean up. Don’t slow yourself down.
May God grant us all more wisdom!
What other dangers do you think one might be exposed to? Let’s hear in the comment section.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not disobey God in order to please a man. I am kept from the dangers of staying over.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will deliver you from the dangers out there
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. (John 8:11 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss your weaknesses with your mentor and seek advice
I have often been asked, “How do you know a wrong person for you in a relationship?” And the answer is very simple, “Through his words!”
“But Pastor, what about if he or she doesn’t talk?”
You see, the reality is that he or she cannot hide for long.
His words are a mirror of his heart. If you can listen very well, to what is being said, and listen to what is not said, you will always be able to discern a man’s heart.
Over the years, I have had to attend to young ladies who unwittingly got messed up by married men. It would have been too late by the time they discover what is happening and by that time they are caught in an emotional web.
These married men are skillful, usually older and experienced at preying on young ladies. The sad thing is that sometimes, these ladies are believers, naive, unsuspecting and too trusting to discern between the lines.
Now, words are powerful, and you can actually know the intent of a person’s heart by his words.
The words he or she speaks are reflections of what is intrinsic in the heart. When a married man wants to sleep with you, he comes indirectly with several statements. When you hear these statements, you should run for your life. I mean, run for your life.
Everywhere the scripture proffers a solution to sexual pressures, it asks you to speak to your legs!
“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (1Co 6:18, KJV)
Flee fornication! It means to run away!
You remember Joseph ran away? And he became a prime minister. Samson refused to run, and he destiny was cut short!
You also remember Samson didn’t die immediately, his eyes were first taken out! It typifies that he could no longer read the word of life. That is what the devil does to you when you start compromising, he takes your eyes out, you lose interest in reading the Bible, because he knows that is the only thing that can save you or deliver you!
Okay, let’s quickly run through seven statements that should make you run for your dear life when you hear a married man say them. Never ever take those statements as compliments. They are the expressions of a lust-filled heart designed to slow you down and make you sin against your God.
1. If I have met you before I married my wife, I would have married you
Why should a married man say this? When you hear him say this, it is not time to feel cool and start blushing. It is a statement that betrays his covenant relationship with his wife and it is inappropriate. Stay away from such a man. If you don’t, he would put more pressure and might eventually sleep with you.
Also, beware when a married woman says to you as a single guy that had she met you before meeting her husband, she would have married you.
2. I wish you can have a baby for me. You are so beautiful
You are not a baby factory or a baby producer. You are meant for your husband. Never take this as a compliment. Why would a man be wishing this when he is already married? If you feel special because of that statement, and you get pregnant, the next shocking suggestion from him would be abortion.
3. Can I take you out? I love your company
Don’t cooperate with this antic. A married man doesn’t take you out repeatedly unless there is an ulterior motive. After series of being taken out, your defence will be down.
4. My wife doesn’t give me enough attention
It is a lie from the pit of hell. First, you have already made the first mistake by allowing him to make such statements. Nobody made you an attention giver, so the man should go back to his wife at home. It is a just a ploy to play on your imagination and make you feel cool.
5. You make me feel young again
When you are not a medicine or some tranquilizer! It is a lie, he is not actually feeling young, he is feeling lust. As a child of God with a covenant perspective, you should run away from such men.
6. You are more intelligent than my wife
When a man makes this kind of statement, you should be scared of that man. He had more or less reduced his wife to a stupid entity all in the bid to fool another lady.
At the end of the day, if you cooperate with such men, who do you think is really unintelligent?
7. Where have you been all my life?
Lastly, they make statements like where have you been? Where have you been hiding all the while? Never fall for such statements. It is a deceit from the pit of hell.
The Bible advises that we should not be ignorant of the devices of the devil.
“Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” (2Co 2:11, KJV)
Understand that the marital covenant is so strong that God is committed to fighting whoever tries to break it.
I pray for you this morning, you will not fall into the snare of married men who are deceivers. God will protect you and shield you continually.
Stay away from such men and don’t slow your self down! God will grant you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am discerning. I am kept from married men who are deceivers. My relationship is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a discerning heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” (2Co 2:11, MSG)
There is something that can promptly assassinate a promising relationship and marriage in a moment. What can that be?
It is called pride!
The reason why pride is such a dangerous sin can be found in some of these verses.
But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. (James 4:6 KJV)
Obviously, this won’t be a good place to be. When the Bible says God resisteth the proud, what that means is that God Himself will oppose or hinder a proud man.
Again you find the same thing here.
Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. (1 Peter 5:5 KJV)
In the Old Testament, Nebuchadnezzar became proud, and he was humbled, he became an animal.
In the New Testament, Herod made a prideful statement, he was eaten from inside out.
Pride is not a good commodity that should be found with you.
Do you want God to help you in life? Be humble!
It is such a thin line between humility and pride. If you are a humble person, and you know it, then you are no longer humble!
Humble people don’t say it or flaunt it, others identify it in them and talk about it.
The day you talk or boast about your humility, you already lost it, because you are now proud of your humility!
The greatest problem a proud person has is that he never owns up that he is proud. His pride will not allow him to own up that he is really proud, and even when he sometimes discovers, he is still proud of his pride!
A lot of people have lost opportunities of a godly relationship because of pride!
The picture of the person they wanted to get married to, is far from those that are showing up, so they keep on rebuffing opportunities that come their way. The problem is that after a long time, they always end up with just anybody because they suddenly wake up to the reality that age is no longer on their side.
‘My husband has to be handsome like my pastor!’ Ask your pastor’s wife to show you her husband’s picture before they got married. You will almost want to tell her that she took a risk!
I have always told people, the most important factor in deciding who to get married to is God’s direction. Physical attraction is very important as well, but that is not all to it. People change over time!
In fact, some people get handsome the older they get! While it is different for some, the older they get, the more they lose their rhyme and the magic!
You want to marry a Joseph? Would you have said yes to him while he was a slave in strange land, his destiny unsure and his dreams almost bothering on a psychological absurdity?
Would you have married him when he was in the prison, sentenced to an indefinite prison life, together in the king’s maximum prison with hardened criminals convicted of murder?
My point is that what people are now, is not what they were before!
I always tell men of God, they need to come together and do a thanksgiving service to God on behalf of their wives for saying “yes’ to them!
The woman in the scripture says, I perceive this is a man of God!’
God sees ahead and sees what you cannot see. In His wisdom and love, He seeks to lead and direct us, if we are willing to obey and stay humble, we will enter into our wealthy place and we will be fulfilled not only in marriage but in life as well.
Ask yourself, am I really proud and hindering God’s plan unknowingly?
How do you know if you are proud? Here are a few tips:
1. You have an exaggerated opinion of yourself. 2. You have an opinion of everything and anything. 3. You are critical of almost everything and anything. 4. You have a problem with accountability. You are accountable to no one. 5. You see yourself as superior to your friends. 6. You are not submissive to any authority figures, including your pastors and parents. 7. You sometimes think you don’t need God, it is God that needs you!
Ask God to help you. Ask Him to open your eyes and show you all you need to know about yourself.
Be humble enough to do that so that you will not delay yourself!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be proud
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, take pride away from my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:5 (KJV) Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are there traces of pride in your relationship? Address it.
Yesterday, we started on this topic on dealing with anger issues. If you misses the devotional, you can read it here.
If you are in a relationship with someone who flies off the handle easily, learn to seek help. Don’t just keep quiet and don’t think he would just change naturally. It takes deliberate efforts to realize and then change!
Don’t get angry together and at the same time! Learn to calm down for one another! Get books and read and deal with than anger so that you don’t end up raising angry children who will take the anger to another level.
If you are in a relationship wherein both of you have serious anger problems and are not patient with each other, that is not too good. Start working on it now, so that your coming together which is supposed to translate into strength will not be the other way round.
Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Here are practical ways to deal with problems of anger
1. Pray about it and ask God to help you by His Spirit
2. Seek help from your pastor or mentors
3. Stay in God’s word. Your soul can be restored when you meditate regularly in God’s word
4. Get good books that address the weakness and study
5. Discuss with your finance/spouse and look at how you can deal with the weakness
6. Learn to keep quiet when you are angry. You often say things you will regret later, but the words, like swords could have done the harm.
7. Do not make quick decisions while you are angry. Your sense of judgment is warped at such times.
8. Forgive easily. Don’t be revengeful and stubborn. Let God handle the situation for you.
9. Don’t allow anger and hurts to push you into sexual sins because you want get back at your ex or your spouse. That will complicate issues for you.
10. Don’t listen to someone who appears ‘nice’ and wants you to sin when you are hurting badly. It is usually a trap of the devil to complicate issues when a ‘nice’ person suddenly shows up when you are at loggerheads with your spouse. Be careful!
There are more, but I believe these practical ways will be of help.
I rebuke every spirit behind anger and wrath in your life, relationship and marriage in Jesus name. I pray for God’s help over you in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not an angry person. I am cool and level-headed. I am delivered from anger issues I might have been exhibiting.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from anger issues I have.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make use of the practical ways listed above.
Gen 49:5-7 KJV (5) Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. (6) O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. (7) Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
There is nothing that kills relationships and marriages faster than what I want to write about today. Anger!
In the above verses, Simeon and Levi are brothers, but their combination was a tragedy! Both of them had anger problems. What was the eventuality? They were divided and scattered!
That is exactly what happens to two angry unrepentant people in a relationship or marriage. That relationship or marriage cannot survive it.
Look at the way the Message translation puts it:
Gen 49:5-7 MSG (5) Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. (6) I don’t want anything to do with their vendettas, want no part in their bitter feuds; They kill men in fits of temper, slash oxen on a whim. (7) A curse on their uncontrolled anger, on their indiscriminate wrath. I’ll throw them out with the trash; I’ll shred and scatter them like confetti throughout Israel.
One angry person can curse a lot of havoc, not to talk of two angry couples or couples-to-be!
Are you the type or person that is ready to fight at the drop of a hat? You need to consciously and deliberately start working on that anger problem because it can ruin precious opportunities.
There is a place for a level of anger because we are all human. There is also a place for righteous indignation. But the type of anger that is dangerous is the one that lingers unnecessarily and makes you do things you will later regret.
This type of anger is almost a stupid one because you know you will eventually regret your words and actions!
Ecc 7:9 KJV Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
Message translation is quite interesting:
Ecc 7:9 MSG Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.
I once heard Bishop Oyedepo in one of his messages, where he said he used to have anger problems until he read the above scriptures.
In the early days of our marriage, I get angry very easily. It was a kind of subdued anger, not enough for me to raise my hands against my wife! I have never done that and will never do that, no matter what! That is not a manly thing to do! It is unscriptural, and your prayers will be hindered when you raise your hands against a lady.
But, I used to be impatient. I am a quick person but my wife takes her time. I wanted to change her. When I am angry, I start lecturing my wife. After a while, I just had to change because the lecturing thing was not working. I had to learn early in marriage, to calm down when I am angry and then discuss.
Over the years, I have come to learn to smile at some of the things that get me bothered and aggravated and looking back at those years, I wondered why I had to be angry in the first place! We were not meant to be the same way! A book on temperament I read delivered me!
If you are married to someone with anger problem, here is an advice for you.
Pro 15:1 KJV A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Pro 15:1 MSG A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
Tomorrow, I will show you practical ways to deal with anger issues in your relationship.
Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not an angry person. I am cool and level-headed. I am delivered from anger issues I might have been exhibiting.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from anger issues I have.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray against all forms of anger issues you have.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Prov 15
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1. Thou shall serve the Lord thy God in days of thy youth. It is good for a man to bear his yoke in the days of his youth. The glory of young people is in their strength. Thou shall know that you will get busier. Now is the time to serve the Lord thy God.
2. Thou shall be contented with thyself, for singleness is not curse, but a blessing. Thou shalt maximize the times of thy singleness by using it to learn more and prepare for marriage.
3. Thou shall not compromise through Jeru trap. If thou doest this, thou shall slow thyself down, because that is not the order of God. Thou shall know that in life, it is the help of God that matters. The race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong.
4. Thou shall not marry an unbeliever or a person that does not fear God. God has a person for you. Thou shall be patient to know and learn God’s plan for your life for that will always be the best plan for you.
5. Thou shall know thyself, love thyself and judge thyself always. Thou shall take inventory of your life and make amends where necessary. Thou shall love thyself because if thou lovest not thyself, nobody will love you. Thou shall always judge thyself and be truthful with thyself so that thou will not be judged.
6. Thou shall not be involved with more than one person at a time. Thou shall know that such things worketh not out. Thou shall not deceive your intended spouse in any way, so that mistrust enterest not into thy relationship.
7. Thou shall not compromise or violate your conscience because of job opportunities or financial assistance. Thou shall put thy trust in God and not in man. Thou shall take heed not to lose thy soul because of riches that lasteth not.
8. Thou shall not fall in love with a stranger that thou knowest not. The world is full of wickedness. Thou shall not fall in love with a Facebook profile or some social media friend. Thou shall not fall in love with a faceless voice over the phone.
9. Thou shall not endure an abusive relationship. If thou art already being beaten and abused in thy relationship, suffer not thyself to stay there, for that is not the plan of the Lord thy God for you.
10. Thou shall not walk down the aisle blindly. Thou shall not fall in love hopelessly. Thou shall fall in love with thy common sense. Thou shall not get involved with a person that has no value for you nor for your God. Such alliances leadeth into regrets. Thou shall trust the Lord thy God for the best that He has for you. Thou shall not as a result of thy age or pressure settleth with just anybody. Thou shall patiently obtain the promise of God. God’s word faileth not.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will maximize the times of my singleness and obey the commandments.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask God to give you the wisdom you need at such times to obey the commandment for singles
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the Lord is his treasure. (Isaiah 33:6 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to follow God’s principles
When Solomon decides to write about ladies or women, you better listen. You will never be able to break his record. Seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines is a Guinness Book of Records feat.
Solomon had them all, the tall, the short, the neither tall nor short, the light complexioned, the dark complexioned, the in-between, the choleric, the sanguine, the phlegmatic, the melancholy and the ones without temperament, if there is anything like that! When Solomon sleeps with a woman, he tells her ‘see you in some two years time.’ The roster is a long one! I wondered how he fed them and how many children he had! Solomon’s harem was a whole city!
Even though he was the wisest man, at a time, he began to make mistakes and started marrying strange women. These strange women had some characteristics and he writes about them. Let’s see what he wrote.
1. God’s word has the capacity to keep you from the strange woman.
It will protect you from them. So, you must find a way out of your busy schedule to read God’s word daily.
My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart. Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman: That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words (Proverbs 7:1-5 KJV)
2. Her targets are men without understanding.
For at the window of my house I looked through my casement, And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house (Proverbs 7:6-8 KJV)
Message Translation calls them men without sense. When you see a man looking for Jericho traps with strangers, the scriptures refers to such a man as lacking understanding.
3. Her operations are usually at the night
In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night (Proverbs 7:9 KJV)
Strange women don’t sleep in the night, that is when they work.
4. There is a dressing of the strange woman.
And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart (Proverbs 7:10 KJV)
You can know a strange woman by how she dresses. Her dressing is in no way decent. The Message Translation says she is deliberately dressed to seduce! Listen to me, young ladies, never dress to seduce. Lest you be caught with a strange spirit. The purpose of dressing is never to seduce!
5. She hardly stays at home, she is always moving around, from campuses to another from cities to another.
(She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner (Proverbs 7:11-12 KJV)
The strange woman is everywhere, tempting seducing and stubbornly looking for preys.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am guided by God. I have wisdom.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will keep you from falling into wrong hands
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Talk to Wisdom as to a sister. Treat Insight as your companion. They’ll be with you to fend off the Temptress–– that smooth–talking, honey–tongued Seductress (Proverbs 7:4-5 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Check your life and make adjustments with the help of God’s Spirit
There is something the sea will see and it will flee. Even Jordan will not be left out, as it will be driven back, despite its fierceness. The mountain in all its grandeur, its intimidating size and gargantuan posture will be humbled, and disgraced as it will skip like rams! The little hills will skip like lambs, and we all know that lambs are so harmless.
3 The sea saw it, and fled: Jordan was driven back. 4 The mountains skipped like rams, and the little hills like lambs. 5 What ailed thee, O thou sea, that thou fleddest? thou Jordan, that thou wast driven back? 6 Ye mountains, that ye skipped like rams; and ye little hills, like lambs? 7 Tremble, thou earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob; 8 Which turned the rock into a standing water, the flint into a fountain of waters (Psalms 114:3-8 KJV)
The issues you have as a single or married, may be tumultuous like the sea, it may roar its waves and even boast of so many that it has drowned, but there is something the problems of your life will see and it will flee and run away as in terror.
The sea which has its waves and billows against your face, that which has stood proudly like the red sea before you will flee! Yes there is something it just needs to see!
Jordan will see something and be driven back! It is said that Jordan runs north and south, and nearly in the middle of Israel’s entire length. Are there issues and problems that seem to run through your entire lineage and family? Are there issues that seem to be the trend in your family and you can already see such tendencies in your own life? Listen to me this morning; fear not, because Jordan, despite its entire 251 kilometers in length will be driven back in your life!
Are there things that look like mountains in your life? Massive issues that looks like everlasting problems and keeping you from having marital fulfillment? Hindrances and obstructions in your way that seems to say that marriage is impossible? Well, there is something every mountain will see, and the seemingly gigantic hindrances will skip without a skipping rope!
What about little hills? Skirmishes here and there? Academic issues, emotional issues, financial issues, health issues and many more, they are all little hills that seem to hold you back, but they will see something and they will become as powerless like lambs!
But what will the sea and Jordan see? What will the mountains see? What will the little hills see?
Well, it is the PRESENCE OF GOD!
The presence of God, when you cultivate it regularly will drive every problem away from your life and give you a resounding victory. The light will shine and darkness will not be able to withstand it
Now the very pertinent question is “How do you cultivate God’s presence?” Here are some clues
1. Read God’s word everyday! Don’t miss it. Use the devotional here. 2. Pray in the Spirit daily. 3. Make sure all hurts and bitterness are dealt with. Forgive all. 4. Have an attitude of Thanksgiving and Worship. Learn to worship God daily. 5. Stay away from sin. Cut off from negative associations. 6. Serve in God’s house. Commit your time and resources.
The list is not exhaustive but they are some things you can do. Go for the presence of God and you will be glad you do so!
May God grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY By praise, I am relocating into my destiny!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a heart that praises you genuinely
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Judah became holy land for him, Israel the place of holy rule. (Psalms 114:2 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find some time to praise God
1. Do not pass the night in his house If you do, you can end up pleasing him and offending God. Losing God’s support and favor is not what anybody should experience
2. Do not succumb to any sexual pressures Stay sane. Stay strong. Do not melt like stew every time someone touches you. You are not a sexual toy. You are not a sexual object. Relationships that are sex driven do not last.
3.Do not double date Don’t welcome deception into your heart. It is a dangerous visitor. The capacity to cheat on him or her is a capacity that ends in destruction. Be faithful.
4. Do not fall into comparison traps We are all unique. We will not all take off at the same time and sure enough arrival points will be different.
2Co 10:12 (KJV) For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
5. Do not sow seed of bitterness Avoid use of wrong words. Words are spirits! Let go of abusive words, vulgar words and curse words. Speak healthy words
6. Encourage him in that which is good Be an encourager. Be a helper. Seek his advancement.
7. Seek God together and for each other Pray a lot for him. Seek for God and do it with all your heart.
Jer 29:13 (KJV) And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
8. Pay attention to your spiritual life Grow. Read. Learn. Serve.
Ask questions when you are in the presence of great people.
9. Get a mentor over your relationship. Mentors will fence off tormentors of destinies. Stay connected.
10. Avoid strife completely Strife ushers in dryness. Avoid it like a plague. Confusion lies on the bosom of strife.
Jas 3:16 (KJV) For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
May God grant more understanding on how to love God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The Lord is my helper
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for grace to love God.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 3:3 (KJV) But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
One basic ingredient that makes relationships work out is understanding.
Even after the will of God is known and you are sure this person is God’s perfect will for you, you still have to live to understanding each other.
Understanding is like the Space Suit the astronauts wear to make them survive in space. The atmospheric condition in space requires a special outfit that will sustain them there.
Here on earth you can survive with your tuxedo suit but not in the space.
It is therefore imperative for people in relationships to seek after understanding.
First the understanding of the relationship from God’s perspective and then seeking to understand yourselves.
Little wonder the Bible says in
Pro 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
God is telling you, get wisdom, now that you have gotten engaged, get understanding.
Without understanding and wisdom, the courtship becomes like a court where there are always arguments, criticisms, being judgmental, and the likes.
To understand yourselves you have to have basic knowledge of your temperamental differences, man and woman differences, background differences, and the personality uniqueness of each other.
For us when we were courting back then in the early nineties, once we read the book on temperament by Tim LaHaye, our level of understanding increased.
Things that used to get us angry before simply didn’t anymore because now we could understand the reason behind certain behaviors.
Now, it wasn’t that we explained away our weaknesses and character flaws, we confronted ourselves but with love and respect.
The understanding we gained just gave us another perspective helping us to see each other from a better viewpoint.
1Co 13:4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
Love basically is patient and kind.
Without understanding, you can’t be patient and kind with your lover.
May God grant you understanding in understanding your loved one in Jesus name.
May your relationship be blessed in Jesus name.
This week will be fruitful for you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the spirit of understanding
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 32:8 (KJV) But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding.
Fear is palpable in the air. Bandits and herdsmen are ravaging the land. People in their hundreds are being kidnapped or killed. Covid did its own. A good investment today is to invest in hand sanitizers and nose masks.
In the midst of all these, and as a child of God, here are some questions that need answers from Psalms 91.
1. Where are you dwelling?
Verse1 : He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
The word dwell is important. It means to stay and take permanent residence. His protection over my life and your life is predicated on my proximity to His presence. My vulnerability increases when I stroll away from His presence. When I dabble into unrepentant sins, my protection is no longer guaranteed. Disobedience can be costly.
Thank God for His grace, but shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? You have to dwell. That is the secret of abiding. When you abide, you are protected. When you are entangled with sexual sins, you are no longer in the secret place; you are in an open place, an easy target of the evil one! The more Samson sinned; the more his vulnerability increased. Sin is a destroyer, but His mercy beckons, and it is never too late to make amend.
2. What are you saying?
Verse 2: I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
In the spiritual realm, your mouth is your might. What are you saying? What a man utters can lead him into the gutter. With the mouth, you confess that Jesus is Lord, and your life is altered for good. With the mouth, a man can make commitments to the devil and his soul is sold. Are you speaking faith or verbalizing fear?
Your life will always move in the direction of your words. Learn to speak God’s word always by putting His word in your heart. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. The power of life and death lies in your tongue!
3. Do you know you are delivered?
Verse 3: Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
His provision for your deliverance is not an afterthought. It has been settled. The word, is “SURELY” It is settled. You will not be a victim of kidnap. The snare of the devil is broken, we have escaped.
4. Do you really trust Him? Is His truth your shield and buckler?
Verse 4: He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
His feathers cover you. Those feathers are impenetrable. Do you trust in His everlasting arms to protect you? The word ‘trust” is a strong word. Think about it. Do you really trust Him? It is your trust in Him that delivers the good. Remember how you trusted your mum or your dad when you were little? His truth is His word. That is your shield and buckler. God’s word, studied daily becomes your protection!
5. Have you made the choice of refusing to fear?
Verse 5 & 6 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day, Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
Thou shall not be afraid…there will be things that will scare the life out of you, there will be things that will shake the foundation of your faith, there will be life-threatening issues that will cause you to sweat in an air-conditioned room, there will be happenstances that will cause your heart to palpitate, there will be news that will unsettle you and seek to break you down…but in all of that, the instruction is very clear, thou shall not be afraid! It is a choice you have to make because your response will make all the difference!
Nighttime: There is a terror Day time: There is an arrow that flieth.. Darkest time: There is a pestilence that walketh… Brightest time or noonday: There is a destruction that wasteth…
In all of this, you must not be afraid because
At all times: There is God in heaven, there is Jesus with me, and there is the Spirit of God living in me!
The terror, the arrow, the pestilence, and the destruction are all invalidated over my life, because of the Holy One of Israel, the Lord of Hosts is His name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not afraid. God has got me covered. There is no fear in me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from the terror by night and put me where there is no fear
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ps 91:1 [KJV] He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to dwell in the secret place where there is no fear
1. I will pursue my career, it is my life, don’t hinder me
Some married couples see their spouses as hindrances to fulfilling their careers, dreams, and desires. This is rather dysfunctional because, in God’s idea of marriage, your spouse is supposed to be an added advantage to the success of your career and dreams. No wonder the Bible says,’ One will chase a thousand, two will put ten thousand to flight’. This is a good deal, don’t you think? Your partner is supposed to push you ahead 10,000 times more. When you begin to feel otherwise, something is definitely wrong.
Maintaining balance between your career and relationship is one of the greatest achievements you can have in life.
2. My spouse cannot fully satisfy my needs, I need some other emotional affairs.
Well, in the agenda of God, your spouse is not supposed to play God and completely meet all your needs – that’s why ultimately your relationship with God is still your most vital relationship. Nonetheless, you do not need any form of an emotional affair, especially with any opposite sex. Your love relationship with your spouse should be such that you are satisfied and contented with the one God gave you needing no emotional gratification from any other.
For singles, this lie can open you up to double dating and emotional affairs, which are dangerous habits, because it is the rehearsal for extra marital affairs. You are supposed to be faithful, even emotionally.
3. Being vulnerable is not the best, you need to have some self defence mechanism
Usually, any self-defence mechanism that is not from the spirit of God will eventually lead to regret. God wants us to follow him and to do that wholly. Different people develop different defence mechanisms. Some don’t share their deepest longings; desires or aspirations, thinking if they do, this vital information will be used against them.
Some keep extended family issues away from their spouse, saying, ‘it’s my family issue, it’s none of your business.’ This is very defective because once you are married; you no longer have two families but one big family.
4. I need to have some people I get advice from without my spouse’s knowledge.
I am not saying you should not seek counsel. Remember in the midst of godly counsel, there is direction. However, the counsel is qualified – it has to be godly. That the Bible says ‘godly’ means there will be ungodly counsels too. One major characteristic of godly counsel is that it will seek to lead you more towards God and a well-balanced relationship. If this is the aim, then it should not be secretive, kept away from your spouse. Any relationship your spouse does not know of or approve of will eventually lead to negative repercussions.
5. Little lies in your relationship are inevitable.
Some people feel lies are part and parcel of any relationship. Some even say ladies are wired to believe lies, they prefer lies to truth. Well, this is an ungodly myth that is a wrong seed in your marriage or relationship. It will eventually yield unpleasant fruits. There are no little or big lies, white, grey, or black lies. A lie is nothing but a lie. One degree away from the truth is a lie. Sincerity becomes a priceless ingredient in the making of a godly marriage or relationship.
I pray that God will help us more and continue to open our eyes of understanding to know Him more and understand His ways better.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The counsel of God is my delight. I have the wisdom to stay away from dangerous habits.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to stay on the path of truth and prevent you from falling into these dangerous habits.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient:all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any (1 Corinthians 6:12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life and make amends
There are important things to note in the area of falling in love as singles. I will share briefly five of them.
1. Relationship or marriage does not succeed just because you are a child of God
Yes, and I mean every word of that statement. Just because you are a child of God or you can speak in tongues does not mean you understand how to accommodate another human being in your life! You can be a child of God and still be ignorant of the principles to live by. It is therefore important to note that going after knowledge and self-development is important. Make it a commitment to do yourself that good. Decide to improve yourself before falling in love.
You want to get married in two years; the question is what books are you reading in that regard? What is your temperament? Someone was once asked what her temperament was and she said, do you mean all those “sardine tins?” Well, it is not “sardine,” it’s sanguine! Relationship and marriage succeed because you work at it and you work the godly principles.
2. Being in love with a person does not translate to direction from God You can fall in love with someone and yet it is not God’s plan for your life. The direction of your feelings and emotions is not necessarily a direction from God. Yes, God can use your desires to lead you and that is why I often tell people, make sure you pray before you fall in love! Once you are in love before praying, it can really be a difficult time hearing God because your emotions are involved. There is a difference between asking God for direction and asking Him to bless your decision.
3. You will fall in love with whomever you spend time
If you don’t want to become emotionally connected to that person, don’t spend time with such person. You know that his wife has travelled, and then you go and spend hours with him regularly? Doing what? You see, the flames of emotions are going to be fanned and if you are not careful, you are going to be getting involved in what you will regret later. A married person is a “No Go” area, so why waste your time, emotions and energy on relationships that God will never approve of? Why delay what God wants to do in your life with what you feel like doing?
4. Strife will stifle you and bitterness will not make you better If there is anything you should avoid like Ebola, it is strife and bitterness. It will practically cause things to be grounded. Stay away from such, so that God’s blessing can be yours at the maximum.
5. You need God’s favour in this new month
Connect yourself to God’s covenant of favour! Favour will announce you this month! That favour of God will introduce you to new circles of relationships that will advance your life. You will not struggle this month! My God and my father will surround you with His mercy. Your husband will locate you. You will find your wife. Every spirit of delay is cursed and terminated in your life. You will carry your own children. Fruitfulness is your portion. You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. God will smile on you. He will turn His countenance upon you. He will bless you financially. Things will fall in pleasant places for you in the coming year. You will get that job. That contract will be yours!
And of Naphtali he said, O Naphtali, satisfied with favour, and full with the blessing of the Lord: possess thou the west and the south. (Deuteronomy 33:23 KJV)
You will be satisfied with favour! You will be treated well. You will not be cheated. You will advance. God will fill your mouth with laughter. He will heal every hurt and wound and give you a double blessing for every trouble. Get ready for a great time ahead in God, it is your time, it is your season! It is your season of falling in love!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My relationship is blessed. I know what to do in the area of falling in love.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for divine wisdom in the area of falling in love.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Deut 33:23 (NLT) Moses said this about the tribe of Naphtali: “O Naphtali, you are rich in favor and full of the LORD’s blessings; may you possess the west and the south
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read books on relationship and marriage
Happy New Month to all KHC Partners and members. This month, the angel over this commission will avail for you in Jesus name.
The devil is a liar; you will get to God’s destination for your life
The devil only fights what he fears! Contrary to the common belief, that something is wrong with you when you have many challenges, it may actually be the opposite.
It may actually be that you have so many challenges because all is well with you!
Let’s take a look at Joseph first.
If it were to be today’s world, wouldn’t you want to recommend Joseph for a high-grade deliverance session? Wouldn’t you conclude that the man is cursed and the spirit of retrogression is fighting him? Wouldn’t you want to say that out of all his father’s son, he was the most unlucky, the black sheep of the family, the one that was rejected and hated, and so on?
How can someone be sold into slavery and be moved to a strange town by his brothers? Wouldn’t you say that the household wickedness of his father’s house has finished him? Then he became a slave in Potiphar’s house but didn’t last long! He was soon in the prison. Was that not a retrogressive and stubborn demonic attack?
What about David? Anointed as a king in his teenage years but only sat on the throne at the age of thirty. Was that not a gang up of demonic delay against his destiny? Saul fought him to his last breath. Was that not royal hatred against him? Wouldn’t he need his head washed?
What I want you to see this morning, is that nothing was wrong with those guys, it was just a path they needed to pass to get to where God is taking them. You see all they went through was a passing phase and not a parking space!
Joseph could have missed it if he got depressed along the way but he kept on helping people and interpreting their dreams and one day, his gift made a way for him. David could have lost it with a bad attitude to King Saul, but he behaved himself wisely and he would not stop praising God!
So the most important thing in your going through to getting through is your attitude and your ability to refuse to react. It is your ability to refuse to park in your passing phase.
Nothing is wrong with you this morning. That is the word of the Lord to you!
I want to assure you this morning, that if you can do the following, your victory is guaranteed.
1. Stay away from sins, especially sexual sins Joseph ran away from Mrs. Portiphar and refused to commit adultery! If he had compromised, he would have interrupted God’s counsel over his life
But Pastor, I already made mistakes. It doesn’t matter, if you can make up your mind from this point on, God will forgive and forget and He would see you as if you never made all those mistakes! That is where His grace comes in!
2. Forgive easily Joseph was a forgiver. He refused to become bitter. That was evident when he eventually met his brothers. He was hurt, but he forgave!
3. Keep helping people While he was in the prison, the last thing he should be doing was helping others, but he kept on helping people and one of the persons he helped remembered him later and became the person God used to organize him out of the prison! I say to somebody this morning, God will organize you into royalty!
4. Never retaliate or fight back David never fought back at King Saul, and because of that God was there for him even when he made mistakes that could have cost his life.
5. Learn to praise God always David was a crazy and unrepentant God-Praiser! It showed in everything he did, and God was always with him.
The list is not exhaustive, but if you can do the above, you will come out strong. That issue will not have the last say in your life. Your baby will come! I curse the spirit of barrenness in your life this morning! Your victory is sure. You will get married. God will honor His word in your life. Don’t back out on God, because you are actually close to what God wants to do in your life.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a God praiser. I praise my way to victory. I will not park in my passing phase.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, give me the strength to navigate through the passing phase.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 39:2 And the Lord was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man, and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.
Our generation is beleaguered with so much pressure that believers are even compromising heavily, and yet the truth is that God will not lower or change his standard because of the peculiarity of our generation or the pressures of our environment. God’s word remains forever. Love differs from lust.
Look at the following verse:
Eph 4:17 KJV This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,’
The Spirit of God writing through Paul here says, as children of God, we cannot walk as the unbelievers walk. There has to be a distinguishing. We cannot be lumped together. Our light must shine in the midst of darkness. We must stand out. The life of God in us will not allow us to live carelessly.
Message translation says we cannot move with the crowd!
Eph 4:17 MSG And so I insist–and God backs me up on this–that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd.
You as a child of God cannot flow with the tide. Having done all, you’ve got to stand, unmoved, unshaken and unyielded to the grip of iniquity.
Verse 20 says:
Eph 4:20 KJV But ye have not so learned Christ;
That is not what we learn about Christ when we gave our life to Christ. At what point did we accommodate the devil’s antics into the program of our lives? At what point did we think that as a child of God, you can be dating three people at a time? At what point did we somehow believe that God does not mind us having emotional affairs that our spouses are not aware of?
At what point did we start combining a life of fornication with a life of leading others in worship? At what point did pastors think they can go free with sleeping with naïve church members because they are anointed? That is not how we learned Christ!
Take a look more at the scriptures:
Eph 5:1 MSG Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents.
Amplified version says to be imitators of God. How do we do that when we cannot see Him? We watch what He does by watching what He has done in His word. As we read God’s word, we learn His ways and we understand how we are supposed to live here.
Let’s look at the next verse:
Eph 5:2 MSG Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
You’ve got to learn a life of love and not a life of lust. God did not love in order to get something from us! The moment you say you are in love with a person and then you want something you can get, either money or fun, you have moved from love into lust. People ask me, how can I know whether he or she loves me? That is the answer right there!
Love wants to improve the other person’s life, not deplete it. If you are in a relationship with a person, and your Christian life goes down, watch it. God will not lead you into a relationship where all you have is the anguish of the soul, a life iniquity, and a life full of lust. You cannot tell me you love a lady whom you have impregnated thrice and paid for abortions. That is not love!
Look at the next verse:
Eph 5:3 MSG Don’t allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed.
The moment you get involved in some perversion; that is no longer love. It’s lust. How can two believers who are not married be compromising habitually? That is no longer love! If the guys end up in bullying greed, always having his way, and even quoting scripture to justify a sinful lifestyle, that is no longer love.
Let’s conclude with the next verse:
Eph 5:4 MSG Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, Christians have better uses for language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.
As children of God, you should have better uses of your mouth than gossip. Don’t join some others to tear apart your leaders after a church service. Something is not quite right with that. Stop tearing apart your Pastor’s wife.
The scripture advises, don’t talk dirty or silly. Why? That is the same mouth you are supposed to use to confess your way into what you want to possess.
Dirty and silly talk doesn’t fit our style. You cannot be using the ‘F” word and tell me God is okay with that! That is not our style. Our style doesn’t permit punctuating every word with the ‘F” word or with words like ‘Shit!’ Why? Thanksgiving is our dialect! You see it right there. All these things matter!
Conclusively, Amplified version puts it this way:
Eph 5:4 AMP Let there be no filthiness (obscenity, indecency) nor foolish and sinful (silly and corrupt) talk, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting or becoming; but instead voice your thankfulness [to God].
Call God to help you and cleanse you if you have the need to, He is always there to bail you out, if you make up your mind.
Selah!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love appropriately. I am not filled with lust
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God should cleanse you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 4:17 (CSB) “Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their thoughts.”
Dear singles, It’s vital we don’t compare ourselves with one another. That is why this topic is being taught. We started yesterday and we looked at reasons you cannot compare yourself with others. You can read it here.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Dear singles, these are the following things to do to become free from comparison traps?
1. Know who you are in God To overcome comparison traps, you have to know who you are in God! Declare your stand in God and keep confessing that.
2. Acknowledge the good things in you. The scriptures says
That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. (Philemon 1:6 KJV)
When you recognize and acknowledge every good thing in you, your gifting and talents, the communication of your faith or the effectiveness of your spiritual life will become a reality.
3. Fill yourself with God’s word To deal with comparison traps, you have to keep filling yourself with God’s word. The word of God is like a mirror.
But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. (2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV)
When you begin to read and study God’s word, you will be changed into the picture of that which God shows you in His word. You will be free from comparing yourself with other mortals.
4. Learn to praise God for all things. Learn to praise God always and appreciate Him for what He has done and what He is doing in your life! At the root of comparison trap is an ungrateful heart. As you begin to genuinely appreciate God for His mercies and His blessings, you will be severed from unnecessary pressure to compare yourself with others.
I pray for you this morning and by the Spirit of God, I declare that all wrong spirits behind competitive jealousy lose their power over you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
Well, we have finally come to the end of our series on handling stress in marriage.
In our final series, I will be talking about
Ungratefulness
The whole bible is from the old testament to the new testament has several instances where gratitude, Thanksgiving, the gratefulness of heart is encouraged and even commanded.
The human heart has the capacity to be ungrateful and to forget where we were and where we were coming from. Once we get relieved, we are quick to forget the hands that held us up.
Now, I would like to write today about gratitude to God and gratitude to those who were there for us and how it helps in handling stress in marriage.
If we don’t learn to show appreciation and train ourselves to be thoughtful enough to show gratitude, we will stress our partners.
No matter how difficult your spouse is, we can still choose to be grateful to God for them. Someone said, don’t complain you have an headache, thank God that you even have a head.
How true this is. On matter our condition, the place of praise and thanksgiving will still remain intact. We may however, choose not to see it or cease the opportunity to be grateful.
Let check out few places in the bible we were admonished to live a thankful life.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalms 100:4 NLT
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT
And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20 NLT
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:15 NLT
We are encouraged in scriptures to show gratitude to God in everything and at all times.
If you think, you will be able to thank. If you think that you didn’t create yourself, you can’t sustain yourself, the breadth that you breadth you didn’t provide it for yourself, the hair on your head, you didn’t put it there, that you go to work and come back meeting everything intact is because God is a merciful God.
So when you think of all the goodness of the Lord you should return gratitude to Him.
If you are grateful for the many things God has done for you, it will also flow also in gratitude to others. It is the same heart it takes to be grateful to God that it takes to be grateful to others.
A spouse who is always complaining and has an entitlement mentality is a pain in the neck.
When a couple learn to appreciate each other in little things and show gratitude for efforts and every little attempt to improve, there will be bliss.
It takes a heart of understanding to give thanks. Someone said when you are thankful your tank will be full. This is the one of the best things to do when handling stress.
Everything dries up in an atmosphere of complaint.
Don’t put the strain on your marriage rather put the strain off your marriage.
I hope we have learnt one or two things from our series.
Your marriage is a living entity, and as such you don’t want to do things that will quench the fire of passion.
I pray if any marriage is being besiege by stress or its effect, God will cause peace to reign in Jesus name
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Why would the Bible say that falling into comparison trap is foolish?
Here are few reasons
1. You are unique You are uniquely created. There are over seven billion people on planet earth and yet nobody else has an exact match of your fingerprints. You have been uniquely packaged for a specific assignment on earth. It is foolhardy then for one to compare himself with another.
2. You have different assignments Everybody has a unique purpose to fulfill on earth. God told Jeremiah that
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5 KJV)
Your purpose precedes your creation. That is how powerful it can get! Everything you need on earth to fulfill your purpose was packaged into you while God is creating you. You are not inferior, you are gifted and you only need to discover it!
3. You have a different life span Some people would have achieved so much by thirty that you are wondering how they are able to do so many things in a few years. But then before they are fifty, they are out of this world. Some people are great achievers too, just that they are latecomers. Their limelight begins when they are over forty or fifty! Stop comparing yourself with what others are doing, focus on God to help you do what you are supposed to do!
4. You will weary yourself When you compare yourself, you will end up getting tired because you will be drawn to do what you are not gifted to do. You will want to impress others and you will soon get tired of trying to do that!
5. You will be distracted The comparison trap breaks your focus. It gets you on the wrong lane of purpose. It is a wasted and futile effort with no reward from God.
Tommorrow, I will show you practical ways to become free from comparison traps.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
