Every marriage atone time or another will need the wine in the marriage to be renewed or replenish. This happens probably because we made more withdrawals than deposits in the emotional tank of each other.
Life happens and a times we get too busy or occupied with our tight schedules that we lag behind in the things that make our marriage sizzle. Maybe as a wife you have been busy with house chores, children , in laws, office work and you have been a liitle grouchy lately.
As a husband too, maybe you have been cranky lately with bills piling up and their deadline approaching or as a son to your parents you have responsibilities to fulfill or maybe your mechanic played a fast one on you and the list could be endless of different things that get us overwhelmed with life itself.
All these will eventually affect our marriage one way or the other.
In John 2:1-11 in the story of the Marriage at Cana in Galilee, we saw that at a particular point and time in the marriage the new finished. Thank God for Jesus being around at the marriage.
Jesus is the only solution for finished wine in our marriage. But Jesus alone did make it happen. Just as your being born again doesn’t guarantee the automatic renewal of the wine of your marriage.
In the marriage at Cana of Galilee, the key players are
1. Jesus Christ 2. The mother of Jesus 3. The Servants 4. The Bride and Groom 5. The chairman of the ceremony
For there to be renewal of your marriage wine you also need these people in your marriage.
1. Jesus Christ. – He is the Word. You need the word to be spoken over your marriage. You have to have an active relationship with the word and invite Jesus into your marriage.
2. The mother of Jesus. – you need people who care and are interested in you because they love you. They notice the little details of your life about your life and watch out for you. You have to give them the permission into your space.
They are like your mentor. This could also pass for the Holy spirit. Who nudges you that the wine in your marriage needs renewal.
3. The servants. –These are like your Protégées. They will do whatever you ask them to do. You must know how to manage them for the benefit of your marriage. Don’t let them become pain to you, they are gift. This could pass for your faculties you employ and yield in obedience to Jesus
4. The bride and groom. – they are the couples whose marriage the wine needs renewal. Their marriage can become beautiful again. They can be helped of God and become the envy of all people.
5. The chairman of the ceremony. – this stands for the unbelievers around who will witness and share in the joy of what the Lord has and can do in your marriage when invited.
May we always allow Jesus into our marriage. God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The wine of my marriage will not finish. I receive divine refilling.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to know when I need a refill.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 2:5 His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.
I haveoften heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else. Especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you made up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision. It is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt. Some people have been hurt most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt get at you.
Hurtful words spoken are like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is a choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse or of its a God ordained relationship or a relationship you can’t avoid. Pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies. That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that 60 years of your life is gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let receive Grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, criticised, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune against hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time, He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord , and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one. The one who died on the cross for you. When you face to face before Him on the judgement day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory. He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, etc remind yourself and confession out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:16 KJV
Remember protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotions.
Protect yourself Gods way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
We startedon the topic “These types of couples need urgent help” yesterday, we will continue today
4. Two people who are sentimental
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home. Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from sentimental point of view rather than principles.
In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments. They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
5. Two people who are angry
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody that has anger problems and who refuses to work at it.
An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
6. Two people who are deceptive
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out.
Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth it wasting time on what would not work.
7. Two people who are unforgiving
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home and life.
Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker. If one of the couple is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier in resolving the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
Root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including children defiled.
The way out
So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate. Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective.
I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will grow in my relationship with my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be faithful to your partner
Thereare couples that are sitting on a keg of powder! As married couples, you are to deliberately work things out in your marriage and with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the scripture says:
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12 KJV)
In marriage, you are to work things out. A relationship or courtship does not lead to marriage automatically, you are to work things out in your disposition, attitude and reactions. A marriage does not just succeed; you are to work things out between yourselves.
Now there are some couple combinations that are sure to crack along the way. When you find yourself in these spots, you need to seek help prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom to address the lurking issues. Here are those combinations:
1. Two people who are unbelievers Two people who are unbelievers may love themselves, may be committed to each other, but when the storms of life come, they will fight their battles alone and you know, some of those battles can be very fierce.
They will not have God’s support since they don’t have a relationship with God. They will not have the benefit of son ship and it can be very intense! They need to connect with God!
2. Two people who are believers but refuse to grow The second group of couples are those who may be believers but whose minds are not renewed. The only thing is that they already have a relationship with God, but apart from that, they are still carnal.
They still do their stuffs like unbelievers would do. They still want to have fun in forbidden areas and they still want to explore the perverse, which would often come with dire consequences.
My advice for couples in this group is that they seek help as soon as possible.
3. Two people where one is born again and the other is not Here is another scenario that doesn’t always play out well, except with a lot of patience, prayers and perseverance.
I always advise singles, don’t think of getting married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God. It would always be filled with challenges that you might have to fight alone, because you are not agreed on your choice of weapons.
You want to pray, but he or she thinks you are just being fanatical. That can be very disconcerting, to say the least. It is always a good combo when both are agreed and are going in the same direction in terms of belief systems and practices.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will grow in my relationship with my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be faithful to your partner
Don’t foolaround with a strange woman! Go and settle with your spouse!
Why go on a regular and consistent lunchtime with someone you are not married to?
Why keep having special moments together with someone apart from your spouse? You will trap yourself like that once your emotions are involved.
Some men will go ahead and say they are strong and they are spiritual.
Well look at verse 26 in King James Version:
For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. (Proverbs 7:26 KJV)
Beware! You say you are spiritual? Is that why you will go and drop her off at her house and then talk for about two hours everyday while your wife is waiting at home? That is not a wise thing to do! By the time you will gladly give her money and yet refuse to provide for your family at home, she already had you!
Dear Pastor, when you are always with her, in the office, behind close doors, she is your P.A, she is your secretary, she is your organizer, she accompanies you to meetings, and you spend more time with her than you do with your spouse, you enjoy talking with her and she makes you laugh while you think your wife is a bore, I don’t care how spiritual you are or how many visions you see per day, you have just set up yourself for a great fall!
The other time, I had to handle a case of the pastor who was sleeping with his wife’s younger sister regularly, and would still preach on the pulpit against fornication and adultery! The wife would go to work and leave both of them at home.
The man was far-gone, on the expressway to hell, but didn’t know! The younger sister kept saying it was the Pastor forcing him, yet she refused to leave the house! Strange! The man had to be referred to his spiritual father to help restore him.
What are you still doing in that kind of relationship where you keep trampling in the principles of God and then coming up with lame excuses that she was the one?
Take a cue from the last verse:
Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death. (Proverbs 7:27 KJV)
If her house leads to hell and chambers of death, simply quit going there! Disconnect from that sinful relationship! Lobatan! Relationship is by choice, not by force!
Ladies, when somebody is asking you out in a lesbian relationship, it is strange! Run for your life! That is not God’s order!
May God deliver you from the strange woman.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am delivered from the strange woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from the strange woman.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. (Proverbs 7:21 Message)
This morningour topic is centered around how to stop the operations of the strange woman
Learn to appreciate your spouse
With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him. (Proverbs 7:21 KJV)
I say this to married people all the time; don’t grow weary of each other. I tell wives, don’t be careless in handling your man! Avoid unnecessary quarrels that linger for days. Stop getting hurt over every issue. Work together as a couple. None of you will ever be perfect, but keep improving and keep forgiving each other. That is how to work at your marriage.
Now, ladies, you need to consciously protect your husband from several traps out there! Don’t be careless! Learn to appreciate your husband and praise him!
You need to know that this is the strength of the strange woman! While you are busy fighting and quarreling with your husband everyday over this and that, the strange woman is busy flattering him!
With her much fair speech….with the flattering of her lip!
Look at the Message translation:
Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. (Proverbs 7:21 Message)
I will give you examples: Stop telling your husband, “You are not even handsome again, your belly is protruded, this is not the man I got married to!” Why?
You see, the strange woman will gladly say things like, “This is what I like about you. Your tummy! So rounded like football, O ya, come and lie down, let me rub it for you. That ingrate you have at home doesn’t know what she has!”
When you have been quarreling with your husband, and there has been no communication nor Jeru trips for days, and you know he is neither grounded in the things of God nor spiritual, and you know he is having executive and business meetings in different locations and in hotels, you have just aided the devil in trapping him!
Usually, the next thing that happens is the next verses:
Before you know it, he’s trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop, Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow, Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over (Proverbs 7:22-23 Message)
I give you another example: Don’t tell your husband, “Dear, you have to do something about this your balding head. How old are you that all your hair is fast disappearing? You don’t even look fine again. You look like Papa Ajasco!”
You see the strange woman is ready to rub that head and say things like, “I just like this your head, let me rub cream on it, I just like it shiny!”
The strange woman is ready to tell all the lies, make him feel appreciated until she collects all the money meant for his family!
The concluding verses advises all the men:
So, friends, listen to me, take these words of mine most seriously. Don’t fool around with a woman like that; don’t even stroll through her neighborhood. Countless victims come under her spell; she’s the death of many a poor man. She runs a halfway house to hell, fits you out with a shroud and a coffin (Proverbs 7:24-27 Message).
May God deliver you from the strange woman.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am delivered from the strange woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from the strange woman.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. (Proverbs 7:21 Message)
We started the topic “the intricacies of cheating on your spouse” yesterday. It’s important to never neglect each other.
Married Couples:
When you neglect each other, you become vulnerable. Both of you are in the days of your flesh. There are distractions out there. There may be somebody competing for his or her attention, and one of the ways to fortify your spouse against compromise is to give him or her a lot of attention. The devil feasts on feelings of neglect and will always attempt to set you up, so be wise. Sometimes, you might need to swallow your pride and put your ego aside for a while, but make sure you don’t play the ‘neglect’ card. Spend time with each other.
Oh yes, you have a busy work. Would you want to lose your spouse because of work? God forbid! So you must strive to strike a balance always. Take each other out! It is pathetic at the number of folk I have to handle in the area of compromise and adultery. There have been unlikely affairs with unbelievable people, and this is not different even as you grow older. This issue is not resolved with age, if anything; vulnerabilities increase with age, even as insecurities mount up.
One of the greatest causes of adultery, you wont believe, is when a spouse is deprived or starved of Jeru Trip! Jeru Trip is very important in a marriage. God that created it within marriage sanctity knows what He is doing!
God doesn’t just want you to have some speedy, rough, flight of Jeru trips, but wants you to get to the “mountain top!” It is amazing when I hear some women say they have never experienced a true “mountain top” experience!
I always tell men, you don’t use a helicopter for Jeru trips; that takes off and lands roughly! She is not going to enjoy it that way! Jeru trip is better done with an airplane; that taxis around before take off! That is how to fortify each other. Learn to listen to what she is saying and what she is not saying. The same goes for the lady. Love each other genuinely. Don’t be a Tom and Jerry Couple!
We’ll be considering the intricacies of cheating on your spouse this morning. It is one thing to find it difficult to sin, a situation where you have to really look and search for sin or the tools of sin to compromise, it is another story, another ball game entirely when the sin is so available, staring you in the face, calling and you, pulling you and wooing you with all kind of entreaties.
It is one thing to be tempted with the sin that doth not so easily beset you; it is another thing entirely to be poked at by the fingers of your weaknesses!
Such is the generation we have found ourselves!
Sin is available! Jeru trip is available at your beck and call.
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1 KJV)
We are not in this race of life alone! We’ve got some saints up there in the balcony of heaven, looking down on us and getting excited, when we say No to sin!
It is our responsibility then to lay aside every weight and the sin that doth so easily beset us! We’ve got to lay aside every spiritual fat and parasitic sin!
If you live in a very busy environment and you and your spouse are involved in an intense job, day in day out, you have to go a long way to ensure you keep the devil at bay.
Take for example, both of you work in a place like Lagos state, Nigeria, you leave home as early as 5.30am and sometimes you are not back till 10.00pm because of traffic congestion. The proclivity is that you will likely spend more time with your colleagues than with your spouse! It is with deliberate and decisive heart coupled with the fear of God that you make up your mind to be faithful in your marriage.
Here are few points to note:
1. Cheating on your spouse is cheating on your destiny Why is this so? It is a direct violation of the principles of God, so you end up not having God’s support and favour in your life. It is not worth it.
Why would you cheat on your spouse? What kind of Jeru trip are you looking for that you won’t find in your spouse?
Why play with fire. Will you carry fire in your bosom and not be burned? Will you walk on hot coals and your feet not be singed? I doubt!
2. Cheating on your spouse is a stupid idea. Now I didn’t say that, God did. I am only echoing what God said.
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. (Proverbs 6:32 KJV)
Now see that in Message translation because KJV seems to be really nice there.
Adultery is a brainless act, soul–destroying, self–destructive; (Proverbs 6:32 Message)
Brainless! That’s not nice at all, but that is the truth! What the scripture is saying here is that if we can think deeply, we would not dabble into adultery for anything in this world.
We see right there the implication of adultery.
Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good. For jealousy detonates rage in a cheated husband; wild for revenge, he won’t make allowances (Proverbs 6:33-34 Message)
The next time somebody is trying to talk you into some compromise, go ahead and tell that other person, that would be a stupid idea.
There is something about being faithful. It has tremendous rewards!
To be continued.
May God grant us more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a responsible husband/wife.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be faithful to your spouse
We used to hear this phrase about marriage a lot long time ago, but nowadays, we hardly hear such a thing. The world has gone digital, fast and every body seems busy.
Knowledge has made people to replace old values with modern ones. The question is does modernization makes our conclusions about marriage right?
The modern day view of marriage is contractual while the good old days view marriage as in Gods eyes as a covenant.
Contractual view says, you do this, then I do that’. While covenant says, I will do this for you because I am committed to you. It doesn’t really matter what you do or don’t do’.
Marriage as a contract is always based on negotiations, convenience, and protection of self. Each spouse maintain their lanes and do what is expected. Otherwise the marriage contact does not work and they go their separate ways which means separation or divorce.
In this case, marriage is not for a common goal. There is no fulfilling purpose or destiny together in view. There is no sense of purpose or God bringing the couples together to fulfill a mandate or an assignment.
All that is involved is ‘I am attracted to you, and you to me. We have a love connection between us and we are good to go’.
Marriage is for better for worse. This is a little scary which brings with it a sense of awe. Two hearts beating as one is a mystery. That mystery can only be unraveled by the help of divinity.
Here, there is a sense of a divine assignment. Marriage is not just lived on their terms but on the terms of God, who is the covenant witness and judge in the marriage union.
Each couples live their lives following a particular road map created by the creator. That means there is a supervisory role performed by God.
The husband cannot just do whatever he likes to do, neither can the wife do whatever she likes or wishes in the marriage.
There are guiding principles, guiding both husband and wife. There is a race set before each one to run, and each one runs with passion looking to God for grace to accomplish his/her race.
Here, the wife is protected as well or as much as the husband is protected too. Both husband and wife have a common father who protects their interest.
It is not based on human standards that the rights of the husband is protected above the wife. Where the woman is subjected to servitude. Or in some cultures, where the wife is overly protected above the husband.
Marriage is indeed till death so us part.
May God grant us grace to so His will.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have an understanding of what marriage is, my home is blessed
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let the eyes of my understanding be enlightened.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking. Genesis 24:19 (KJV)
Yesterday we looked at how important to it is for wives everywhere to praise their husbands.
We looked at how a little girl danced in honor of King Herod and praised him till he was willing to part with half of his kingdom. When women, praise amazing things happen.
Today, we will be looking at ‘Husbands appreciate your wives’.
To appreciate means to recognize the good qualities of something or someone. Dear husband, your wife is your helper created for you and for your good.
The fuel that keeps wives going and functioning in their calling as helpers is appreciating their efforts and labour of love. Any husband that doesn’t appreciate his wife is stifling the potentials of his wife.
Appreciation comes with a sense of thoughtfulness that allows for gratitude. You become grateful for the little gestures and the big things your wife does.
Every wife is moved to do more or motivated by words. For example, if your wife cooks a meal and you appreciate her, she will remember the appreciation and will want to do better the next time she is cooking. If she is not appreciated, however, the creativity to do more or do better is not there.
If the love language of your wife is words of affirmation, you have to give her big doses of appreciation. Appreciate your wife for her looks, appreciate her for her dress sense, appreciate her being a home keeper, appreciate her for her intuition, appreciate her for her sacrifices, appreciate her for her kindness, for taking care of the children, for believing you, for encouraging you, for being there, for doing the dishes, and the list goes on and on.
One thing about appreciation like praise is that the more you give it, the more you see reasons to give more appreciation. In the same way, the less you show appreciation, the less you will find reasons to show appreciation.
May God grant us the grace to show more appreciation to our wives.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will show appreciation to my wife
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, teach me how to appreciate my wife better.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Appreciate your wife today.
Husbands are to appreciatetheir wives, while the wives are to praise their husbands. That’s the magic.
I will dedicate the aspect of ‘wives praising their husbands’ to all husbands and fathers. To mark our father’s day celebration. The day is for fathers’ so let’s focus on how to make them happy and feel good because that’s the essence of marriage.
I believe this is in order. Then the aspect of ‘husbands appreciating their wives’ will come up tomorrow.
The two words appreciate and praise have same elements but are slightly different. We just concluded celebrating our fathers and by extension our husbands. It feels good to know that at least a day is set aside to shower encomium on our fathers and husbands.
Every wife should know how to praise her husband. If you wait till your husband is perfect, you will wait a long time. Besides, who says you have the right standard to judge him? You may have a thousand things against him, look for and focus on the good things he has done.
How he has been faithful? How he has been a good father to your children? He didn’t neglect you when you were pregnant, he didn’t abuse you, he provided for you, he prayed and fast for you.
The truth is that your husband has done so much for you, that you are not even aware of. It will take eternity to discover some of the things our husbands have done for us. Just like it will be in eternity to unravel the so many things our heavenly father has done for us.
Sometimes we have misjudged their motives, yet God is the judge of all and He looks into the heart.
God our heavenly father loves praises and men are created in the image of God, so there is a part of every man that craves praises.
If every wife will look beyond the pains and hurts and just praise your husbands for what they do, I believe that praise will work wonders.
But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, And so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. Matthew 14:6 – 7 AMPC
That is what praise can do. We can learn this principle from this young girl, who despite who King Herod was or whatever he had done, danced with all her heart, honored him till he felt so wonderful.
She could access what the king had by simply honoring him. She brought herself to a place of prominent to forgetting herself and praising the king first. She was rewarded for it.
Let us all as wives focus on praising our husbands. Let us be selfless. Let us not be too mindful of ourselves.
We can’t dance unless we learn to forget whatever issues, grievances we had towards our husbands. For us to dance in a way that pleases and catch the attention of our husbands, our hearts must be free of offences.
Have a light heart. So you can dance well. All you want is for your king to open his mouth and give you half of his kingdom, his heart, his life, his commitment, his loyalty, his attention.
The principle is do his own first.
May God grant us the heart of humility to rid our hearts of everything that will not make our hearts light, so that we can dance for him.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will honour my husband and king
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, teach me how to honor my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Praise your husband today.
Yesterday, we started on the topic what a wife wants from her husband, and we listed four points that men ought to take note of.
We said a woman wants 1. A head, not a headache 2. A protector, not a manipulator 3. A caring husband, not a scary one, and 4. A praying husband, not a preying one.
Today, I will tell you two more things every wife wants from her husband.
5. A gardener, not a scavenger Every woman is like a garden of treasures. When a gardener is through working on a garden, there is order. When a scavenger is through, there is disorder. A gardener nurtures, a scavenger ruptures! A gardener prepares the garden for productivity; a scavenger is looking for what’s in it for him. It is a whole world of difference! A scavenger wants to raid your garden and if as a single you are involved with one, it’s time you send him parking and close your gate!
6. A romantic husband, not a sarcastic one Women love it when their husbands are romantic. All the things a man used to do and say while he is wooing them, they want it to continue. If the man is wise, he will oblige to that. Ladies don’t like abusive men, men who use them as joke objects all the time, identifying and poking at their weaknesses rather than emphasize their strengths! It is not a good idea when you are inspired to crack some dry jokes directed at your wife each time you see her!
You will lose her gradually doing that! Rather, learn her love language and speak that language! If what it will take for you to have a good home is to help her a little in the kitchen, then do it!
As a young couple, I would bathe our boys from when they were just four days old! My wife loved that, so I took it upon myself to do that for all the boys till they were old enough to take care of themselves. Those were the early years when I had not started writing devotionals and I had time in the mornings.
Now, that may not resonate with you, and your wife might not even want to trust you with a four-day-old baby, but find something you can do to make her happy! That is how to be a man!
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a husband indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
Yesterday, we lookedat what every man wants in his spouse that women need to pay attention to. Today, it’s the other way round, we’re looking at what a wife wants from her husband, so let’s go!
1. A head, not a headache This is one of the vital things a wife wants from you. A man is supposed to be his wife’s head, not her headache. What is the head supposed to do? The eyes are located in the head, so one of the principal responsibilities of a man as the head is to cast a vision for the family and give direction as well. The mind is located in the head, so the man is supposed to be a thinker and be responsible.
Being the head does not mean she is subservient to you, for there is nothing the head can do alone. It is the body that holds the head and so the head needs the cooperation of the neck and the body to function in its assignment.
The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. (Ephesians 5:23 Message)
There are some singles ladies in courtship that are already having sleepless nights by virtue of who they are involved with. This is not the plan of God for you, and when you see negative trends like that, the man is not likely to change after marriage. Don’t close your eyes to all the red lights because you want to get married desperately.
2. A protector, not a manipulator A man is supposed to be the protector of the lady, even in a dating situation. But what is rampant today is a brazen display of manipulation and high degree insincerity. We have men today who are not really interested in marriage but just in jeru trip. A wife wants to feel safe and protected
As a lady, there is no point courting such a man because if you are not careful, he will soon have his way while you are left heartbroken. A manipulator knows how to feed your weaknesses just to get what he wants. A husband that manipulates knows how to logically blame the wife for everything.
3. A caring husband, not a scary one There are wives that can’t talk in their matrimonial home. They are permanently muted. For such women, the fear of their husbands is the beginning of wisdom! There are even ladies who are in courtship and they have no say. Now, this is very defective and it is not God’s order! The man that loves God and loves his family does not scare. You don’t rule your home with an iron fist, you rule with love.
A situation where the boy is playing football, but upon hearing the blast of dad’s car horn, dives through the window, the wife rushes to the kitchen to get food ready…. all because the lion of the tribe of his house has come! Children raised in this kind of atmosphere always rebel in the end. Be caring, rather than be scary!
4. A praying husband, not a preying one It will interest you to know that every lady wants a spiritual man. Every lady wants a man that will wake her up to pray. Every lady wants a man that can lay hands on her and bless her. Now, you don’t have to be a pastor to do that. You only need to have a relationship with God.
Tomorrow, I will show us more things a woman wants from her husband.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a husband indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
1. A wife, not a knife There is a difference between a wife and a knife. A knife cuts and lacerates. Such is Job’s wife who looked at him in the height of his crisis and pain and told him to curse God and die!
A wife does not give up. A good wife stays there and believes the best for her husband and home.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
2. A companion, not a competitor A man wants a companion in his wife. There is a difference between championship and companionship. A home is not a WWE arena. No man will feel good who thinks his wife is out to compete with him.
Competitive spirit between a couple defeats the very reason for marriage.
3. A help; not a hell You tell some men to repent of their sins or else they will go to hell. They simply laugh and tell you there is no hell hotter than the ones their wives are giving them at home. Sounds humorous, but is actually sad to hear.
Every man needs genuine help. He may not own up to it if he is overly egocentric, but the truth remains he needs help.
A woman was created to help the man. But when she decides to give him hell at home, all will not be well.
Sometimes, it is the man that pushes the woman to this point, but it is not always a good place to be in.
A joke was told of the devil invading a particular club and everybody ran away including the club owner except one man.
The devil was surprised. So he asked him,
“Are you not scared? Everybody is running from me and you are just sitting there?” The man sips his drink and calmly replied, “I am not scared of you. What can you do? I have been married to your sister for seven years, what else can you do that she has not done?
4. A friend, not a fraud Every man needs a friend. A friend is always there for you. A friend loves genuinely. Friends talk and communicate. Friends cover each other’s back. Friends want to be around each other. Friends look forward to being together.
There is no point getting married to somebody whose guts you hate.
Are you still your husband’s friend? If not, do all you can to become friends again.
If there is a courtship or marriage where the couple is no longer friends, crisis is in the corner.
5. A playmate, not a co-tenant Every man loves to play. There is a recreational tendency in every man. If he doesn’t see it in his wife, he would hang around the boys in town!
Ever wondered why your husband would leave a large LCD, curved Samsung TV at home to go and watch football in a club on a smaller TV? It is the ‘play” in the watching, the comments, the laughter, the conversations that ensues while the game is going on.
It is not wise to get so busy and leave him all alone to watch his football. Get interested; learn the names…and you will be amazed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a wife indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
Marriage is often time associated with wine, because our union with our spouse is supposed to bring joy to us.
The marriage ceremony itself is a joyous occasion with the bride and groom looking their best. Everyone is happy, lots of food to eat and drinks, music, dancing and the exuberance of finding the love of your life.
All these sum up to give joy and excitement. Both for the new couples, the parents, families, the couples’ friends and all.
But a few years down the lane we see that joy almost vanished from the face of the once over joyed couple. Why is this?
We may have differentreason why, but I want to point to us that the devil is the real culprit here.
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). John 10:10 AMPC
The above scripture identifies the devil as a thief who come to steal if not stopped, graduates to kill and then finally to destroy. Bringing to total ruins, both what you desire and what you have laboured for. He destroys legacy of families and what they stand for.
The devil is the one that steals joy from marriages. He does this through several means and does it in whose ever marriage he is allowed to perform his three-fold agenda and mission.
Every believers’ marriage is precious and priceless. The devil hates anything joyous, good and glorious. He is attracted to it, to steal from it, kill and destroy it.
The devil is not just a nuisance, he is an enemy. That is the fact and the truth. You must always take the offensive against his onslaught.
The scripture in John 10:10 didn’t just say that the devil cometh to steal, kill and destroy. It concluded that ‘I am come that they might have or enjoy life and it more abundantly.
For every of the attempt of the devil to steal the joy of and in your marriage whether by misunderstanding, strife, unforgiveness, infidelity, sin of different types, anger, works of the flesh et cetera, Jesus also came.
He came once and for all to deal with the three-fold agenda of devil. Jesus is not only the answer to the problem, He is much more than that.
It is not your wife or your husband that is hurting you or cheating on you. Am I saying we should not take responsibility for our actions? No, I didn’t say that.
We take responsibility and deal with the root cause of the issue. The devil hides under the works of the flesh or sin to carry out his three-fold agenda.
Begin to insist on your joy, peace in marriage, prosperity and every good thing Jesus already paid for there.
Therefore with joy will you draw water from the wells of salvation. Isaiah 12:3 AMPC
Joy in your marriage is not just having a good behaviour. You need your joy to draw from the well of salvation. No wonder the devil is after your joy.
Without joy, you cannot draw. You can speak in tongues, fast and pray but you also need joy. When devil throws different issues at you, he is after your joy. Insist on your joy. Respond in joy to any attack on your marriage. It is an overflowing joy, the joy that is full of glory.
Laugh at the face of lack. You begin to draw wealth and prosperity from the well of salvation.
Let nothing steal your joy. Be joyful with the wife of your youth.
May God grant us more understanding.
God bless our marriage in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Nothing will steal my joy. I have joy in the Holy Ghost
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask for grace to reach my destiny in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY James 4:12 MSG God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse today
In our concluding part, I will be talking about how your marriage can move up on the level of communication and become an intimate couple. The goal in every marriage should be to know each other and be as intimate with your spouse as much as possible.
We stopped at level 3 communication. Today, we will be looking at levels 4 and 5.
Level 4: Emotional Talk.
‘Let me tell you, How I feel’.
In this fourth level of Communication, we share our feelings. When our feelings are shared, we share ourselves. Because we are what and how we feel.
We are simply making ourselves vulnerable. When we share with our mate how we feel, the intention is not whether we are right or wrong. We mostly don’t want to be judged because of how we feel. We just need our spouse to listen, understand and accept that, thats the way we feel.
We kill intimacy when we are quick to judge the feeling. Am not saying we should not correct but first acknowledge your spouse feelings.
It is difficult for most people to share their feelings than their thoughts. These are 2 very different things
‘I feel that guy is a thief’. ‘I feel, the car will break down’ ‘I am thinking the issue with the woman is not natural’.
When you share your feelings you are expressive. When you don’t share your deepest feelings, a path of you is left hidden or covered. When you share your feelings, you are vulnerable, open, unashamed, no inhibitions.
Couple should aim at growing together into this fourth level of Communication, to enjoy a higher level of intimacy.
There is still the fifth level which is highest level of Communication.
Level 5 of Communication.
Loving, Genuine Truth Talk
‘Let’s Be Honest’.
This level allows us to speak the truth in love. It is a place of honesty without condemnation.
Most couples are finding out that such open, honest and loving communication enhances a much deeper level of intimacy. Where couples can share their feelings and thoughts without feeling unsafe. Both have a sense of safety and security. This requires an attitude of acceptance.
You know your spouse understands you even if they don’t agree with you.
We can always agree to disagree without shaming ourselves or making us look like less smart.
We can have differing opinions and still be friends. No hurts, no guilt, no condemnation and we are still good to go.
We can’t be the same. Remember, acceptance is the key.
We may start out on the first level of Communication, bit please don’t let us remain there.
As a couple we should aim at moving higher in the way we relate, understand and communicate with each other.
This will require certain level of work and being intentional about getting to understand your spouse.
The higher we grow in our Kevel of communicating with ourselves the more intimate we grow with our spouse.
I pray God will grant us wisdom and grace and help is all to communicate better in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:22 KJV Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
We started on the topic “Five levels of communication” yesterday. We learned how important communication is in marriage. Not just anyhow communication but husbands and wives should dedicate time and attention to proper and effective ways to communicate with each other.
It can’t be over emphasised, that intimacy in marriage can only be brought as we grow from one level of communication to the other levels.
There are 5 levels of Communication.
1. The Halfway talker In this type of conversation, no intimacy is developed or worked at. This conversation doesn’t involve wanting to know the feeling or thought process or pattern of the other person. The conversation is on auto-drive.
You have a particular way of response to what is said or asked. Example, ‘How are you doing?’. ‘Fine’. ‘How are the kids?’ They have gone to school.’
The essence of communicating with each other is to develop intimacy. No deep communication, no intimacy. And intimacy is the essence of marriage. Why am I married if I can’t enjoy love, acceptance, understanding, oneness, sincerity, and transparency?
Every married couple, should aim at climbing the steps of communication to further develop the intimacy between them.
You can’t be involved in monosyllable answers and expect intimacy to be developed.
If couples are not careful or well discerning, 20 years of their married life will pass so quickly and they will discover they have not improved on their communication and that they are still in the ‘hallway’ method of communicating.
They were distracted by work, a busy schedule, distracted with the children and yet each spouse was just coping and not really pleased with each other.
The children are grown and they are now left with each other to deal with the hurts piled up for so many years and not talked about.
2. Reporter’s Talk This level is a step further than the first. Here, the conversation moves from general talks to talking or giving facts or information about events. It is a reported kind of talk.
Here, more information is given but stills this kind of conversation does not promote intimacy. In level 2 communication, we do not express our opinions, thoughts, or how we feel about the subject matter.
If you are at this level 2 communication, your aim should be to move up and climb the steps of effective communication so that intimacy could be endangered.
Remember, level 2 communication is summarised, ‘Just give me the facts’.
Level 3: Intellectual Talk At this conversation level, your spouse is given the freedom to think differently. This is an amazing gift to give each other in marriage.
It is recognising the fact that each one of you is a unique individual with different perspective, view point and way of reasoning.
Marriage is trying to bring our way of thinking into alignment without suffocating the uniqueness of each others’ thinking. Two becoming one is choosing the best of our different thinking patterns and or merging our different opinions till we arrive at the best alternative.
When we recognize our weaknesses and strengths and know that each one of us has a role and part to play and that neither of us is superior to another, we will honor each other and give each other the opportunity to air our opinions.
This type of conversation is not just limited to a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer. The wife’s or husband’s opinion is needed and necessary.
Example,
‘Are the children eating rice this afternoon?’ ‘I don’t think it will be the best option for them. They need more vegetables in their diet’.
It is important to note that, the question, what do you think about….is so important in husband wife conversations.
Your husband or wife’s opinion matters and don’t want them feeling like they are not smart. If the wife is just accepting every decision made and not really a part of the decision-making process and involved in the intellectual aspect of thinking through, there will eventually be problems later on in the marriage.
I will continue on the levels of communication tomorrow by Gods grace.
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus name. God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:22 KJV Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
There are five levels of communication in marriage. Communication is simply talking, but of cause, there are more things involved than just talking. A healthy conversation involves not just what is said but what is heard.
In essence, communication is a two-way conversation that involves speaking and hearing. The two spouses must form the conscious habit of allowing the other spouse to express himself or herself. While he/ she speaks, the other partner should be actively listening.
Not listening for pleasure, not listening for information but should practice empathic listening. This is putting yourself in the conversation. Trying to understand and feel the impulse of the speaker.
It is unhealthy to dominate a conversation without waiting at intervals to get feedback, to check whether your hearer is hearing the right thing, to know how he/she is processing the information. The aim of your conversation, especially in marriage, is for your partner to understand what you are saying and then obey you.
Listening should not also be done with the intention of giving a reply that will defend your status or what you represent in the marriage covenant.
I think we cannot also have a good conversation with our spouse if our interpretation of what marriage is, is defective. Until we see our marriage from the viewpoint of it being a covenant relationship, every other thing becomes loop-sided.
What we see most couples practicing is a contract and not covenant marriage. This is so important. It is a contract (which could be unwritten and informal) when the marriage is based on mutual benefit. That is, we are both doing something for each other.
For example, I will be nice to you, if you bring in enough money. Or, if you help out in the house, I will prepare the meals. The opposite obtains if your spouse doesn’t do what is expected. I will be very cold and unresponsive to you if you hurt my feelings. I will be uncaring to you if you disrespect me.
Marriage is a covenant in which each partner takes up his/her responsibility. The wife is to submit fully. The husband takes up his responsibility to love her like Christ does irrespective of what she does. It is the aim of a covenant relationship to please and serve the other person despite what he/ she does.
It’s kind of difficult right? Very hard. Especially if you have been to some school of hardknocks where you have been deeply hurt.
If you are starting on a clean note and you have this understanding, how blessed you are.
No matter how farther away we have gone, in Christ there is always a way out. He shows us and leads us in the way since He is the way.
We need to retrace our steps and in humility, accept what works. When a marriage is not working, both partners are responsible. It is not just one person’s fault but the two parties have their contributing factors.
Tomorrow, I will attempt to summarize the five levels of communication. A further read is encouraged on the subject of communication especially by the best-selling author Gary Chapman.
I am sure you will find it rewarding and worth your while.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my wife
In today’s devotional we will be looking at how to make your spouse love you forever.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband (Ephesians 5:22-33 KJV)
In marriage, there is a joining of the man unto the wife, not just physically, but spiritually as well. But here, we see that the physical is even more emphasized. They two shall become ONE FLESH! Isn’t that interesting?
We can now understand the confusion and disorder that comes into play when two people who are not yet married are trying to become one flesh! That is clearly not God’s order! Jeru trip is for married people! Period!
How can two people become one flesh for God’s sake? That sounds so impossible! What is the full implication of that?
Well, in the next verse, Apostle Paul simply admitted that this is a great mystery that he himself does not understand fully. But there is one thing he said he knows, and that is the fact that the way Christ treats the church is the way husbands should treat their wives.
How did Christ love the church? Christ loves the church even as himself. That is why he now said in verse 33:
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
In order words, marriage is a mystery, I don’t fully understand it, it is kind of complex, NEVERTHELESS… Husbands, love your wife, wives, reverence your husband!
Take a look at verse 31 – 33 in Message translation:
31 And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” 32 This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. 33 And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
I know it is a mystery. I know women are difficult to satisfy. I know men can be egotistical. I know both parties can be so selfish…I don’t really understand how two unlikely people are to come together in marriage, but one thing is clear, and that is all you need to know. I know the way Christ treats the church! This is how to treat your spouse
That demystifies it all. That unravels that which has been a puzzle! That brings the enigma out of the complexity! That changes the equation and solves it! If I can study God’s word as man or as a lady and follow the examples thereof, marriage is easy and enjoyable! If I can follow and do the same thing Christ does in treating the church and treat my wife likewise, Lobatan! (That’s all)
Why follow the example of Christ? See it right there in verse 33 MSG
And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
Christ gives us a good picture of how a husband should treat his wife, and how each wife is to honour her husband.
Christ is patiently waiting for the church as the bridegroom. So treat your spouse by following Christ’s example, I know as a man, I am supposed to wait for my bride and not demand Jeru Trips before the wedding day!
Let’s break verse 33 down a little bit more because that is the way you are supposed to treat each other in a pragmatic way. Let’s take a look at the amplified version.
However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].
Okay we see it clearly now:
Husband’s responsibilities
1. Love your wife 2. Love your wife as you love yourself
Wife’s responsibilities
1. Respect your husband 2. Reverence your husband 3. Notice him 4. Regard him 5. Honour him 6. Prefer him 7. Venerate him 8. Esteem him 9. Defer to him 10. Praise him 11. Love him 12. Admire him exceedingly!
I don’t know how to satisfy my husband. I just don’t understand him. Seek to do all the above, you will be amazed. The scripture cannot be broken!
I don’t know what else to do to my wife. She is difficult to satisfy!
Love her as you love yourself! Not too much story! God knows the man doesn’t like too much story, so he gave you in one simple logical explanation; lest you say they are too many, simply love her as you love yourself. What you wouldn’t do to yourself, don’t do it to her! God knows the woman like stories, so He gave it to her using many words! Both parties know what to do. No more excuse!
May God grant more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I know how to treat my spouse or spouse-to-be
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will open the eyes of your understanding the more to understand these mysteries.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (Ephesians 5:28 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to follow Christ’s example
Seeing marriage as a covenant relationship and not as a contract relationship will help you love your wife with tender, loving care just as Christ loves the Church. The way Ephesians 5; 25-32 describes.
There is nothing wrong in loving your wife. There is nothing wrong in thinking about her. In fact, the scripture advises you do that.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love (Proverbs 5:18-19 KJV)
How do you love your wife appropriately?
It is when you see her with the eyes of Christ and deal with her as such in every area and aspect of your marriage.
1. For a woman, jeru trip does not start in the night with your wife. For a lady, it is an all-day affair right from when she wakes up, the way you greet her, the words you say to her, what you do for her while she is in the kitchen, the texts you send to her at work, the calls you give her, the chat you had with her, the chocolates you bought for her on your way home, the tender, loving care (TLC) you show her all day long and so on. This is what makes her totally give herself to you!
Try some of these and you will discover that your wife is not frigid like you thought, you will discover that she actually enjoys you in bed contrary to what you have always thought.
As married couples, you protect your body by learning to be patient with her. It takes a man to be ready in less than twenty seconds, but it takes a woman, an average of twenty minutes! It is an archaic husband that gets into the bedroom and rushes his wife:
“Mama Zerubabel, Come here! Lie down!” No!!!
2. Never lift your hands against her Don’t let quarrels degenerate to physical abuse. There will be quarrels, mostly because of different opinions, outlooks, temperaments, and beliefs, but in all of that, you must realize that you are one! Don’t attack each other. Guys, be patient. She will not be exactly like you.
Your duplicate is not needed. What is needed is a helper. You may seem more logical, but you are not as intuitive. You may be able to seal a business deal, but you may not be able to sense a wrong business partner as she will. You see, the devil wants you to fight all the time. That way, he knows your prayers will not be answered. Don’t cooperate with him. Love each other always. And let God bless you!
A marriage that God delights in is always a blessing.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to love my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will teach you the skills needed in loving your wife
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings. (Proverbs 5:21 KJV)
