In today’s devotional, I’d be speaking mainly to our women, but men can still learn a thing or two from this. We’re looking at how you can influence your husband as a wife. A woman isso influential- that her role or her absence in a man’s life can be easily felt. Have you ever thought of why most men will eventually remarry after their wife dies? No matter how much he claims to love his wife. Even if he stays without remarrying for a long time or mourns her for a long period of time. He will still eventually get married.
For the women, it is not so. Usually, a woman will stay unmarried after her husband dies. The men will always have one excuse or the other, who will help take care of the kids? But even if the kids are all grown up they still remarry. They would say, who will they talk with? The truth is that a man cannot do without Jeru trip for long. He needs that release for him to be okay and complete.
So if a wife is that important to a man’s life, let wives use their influence well. Don’t let us just reduce it to the other room, taking care of the children and the kitchen. As a wife, you can use that power to positively challenge your husband to move the family forward.
Here are some areas that a woman can influence her husband positively;
1. A wife can encourage her husband to be more spiritual. It is known that women are more spiritual than men, at least they have a heart for God. A woman can encourage him for bible reading, daily devotions, and prayer time.
2. A wife can encourage her husband to go to church.
3. A wife can influence her husband to be committed in God’s house and serve God.
4. A wife can encourage her husband to make financial investments.
5. A wife can influence her husband to build a house and start a business.
6. A wife can encourage her husband to be a nice person.
7. A wife can influence her husband to live healthily and have a healthy lifestyle.
8. A wife can encourage her husband to treat in-laws and family members rightly.
9. A wife can influence her husband to get better at what she knows he can do. e.g get a better education, study a course, pass his exams.
10. A wife can encourage her husband to start something innovative and develop his dreams, talents, aspirations, achieve his goals and start something altogether new.
There is no end to the influence of a woman. Women have been known to influence kings, defeat nations and do near-impossible feats.
God gave you the power to influence. Find out what it is that your husband is called to do and influence him positively. Influence him to be the best in his field of endeavor. Be known for something and let it be a positive influence.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a positive influence on my husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a positive influence on my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A woman shall compass a man
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to deploy your power of influence.
This morning we’ll be looking at the topic “This is what your husband wants from you”
If youthink anticipating Jeru trip with your spouse is a sin, then you are holier than God. When a man craves, longs anticipates, imagines, and sends SMS to his wife for the eventual Jeru trip later in the night, there is nothing wrong with that.
Religion may tell you that it is wrong. And then this need of the man becomes suppressed and then finds himself in some sexual sin with another.
You see, marriage does not address the lust problem. After you are married, these Jeru trip feelings will not go. You will see other ladies that are still beautiful, and you will still be barraged in your mind about exploring.
If you lack self-control; you will still find yourself messing around with other ladies. That is the quickest way to ruining yourself and your family.
So, what God does is to train you and to teach you how to put your body under. He trains you how to say “No” to compromise.
That is how to live long. That is how to preserve your family. That is how to please God. And this is why he tells you, don’t do it before marriage.
But in marriage, He says, don’t deny each other. What is unavailable to you as a single becomes always available after marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be faithful to my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 8:37 (KJV) Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study agreement in the scripture. Use a concordance
Every husband musthave loved the wife they married, if not they won’t be in marriage. That you are married shows that you loved each other. Whether the love grew or diminished is now another thing.
If the love has diminished, our aim is to help you find it back. But part of the way to find back this love is to try and care of your wife. Care is spelt being kind and gentle with her. Care also means being deliberate in looking out for the one you love, being concerned for, or about her well-being spirit, soul, and body.
It is about the little things we do to the wife we love that go a long way to show how much we care. There are several other little ways you can show that you care and love your wife, in words and in actions.
For example, telling your wife she is beautiful. This is very simple but it goes a long way in affecting her esteem.
Some wives feel worthless and not able to maximize their potentials because all they hear from their men are negative words. You can replace that with positive words of affirmation.
Words are very important to women. Remember, when she was created the first encounter was with words. She was spoken to by the man in her life. She was told how wonderful she was and how good it is to have her around.
So, it applies that the source of a thing is the sustenance thereof. God showed us that example. For a woman to function optimally, words, positive encouraging words have to be spoken to her.
Another way to care for the woman you love is by showing concern over all her affairs. Show that you care. Show that you are interested. For example, some husbands never care whether their wives have eaten. It’s simple, but my husband asks me if I have eaten from time to time, especially when I am at work.
Ask your wife how she is feeling, especially, if she is the quiet type. You will be surprised by the weight of emotions she’s carrying. Ask her if anything is bothering her. Let her know she has someone to count on. Don’t let that role be taken over by someone else. Be the man and the keeper of her soul. Ask about her welfare spiritually. Does she have certain fears? Ask about her future plans and aspirations. Tell her to go do some checkups medically. Be there for her. Show her care and concern.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15, KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Share the post above. Invite your friends to join KHC
In today’sdevotional, we’ll be looking at the topic “Some Lies every married couple should avoid”. Let’s delve right into it
1. As a wife, looks don’tmatter Most wives with these erroneous beliefs and attitudes have had themselves to blame later. Once you are married, all other women out there don’t become ugly and your husband doesn’t become blind. Yes, the husband should look once and move on. But wives too should help your husband by taking care of themselves.
Men are moved by sight. Be feminine. God is not against making your hair, using cologne, and make-up. Watch what you eat. If you are already gaining weight and your husband is beginning to complain, it’s time to reduce your food intake.
2. Marriage is a necessary evil. I’m in it for my children. People with bitter experiences would say this. But another man’s experience does not have to be your own experience, and you don’t have to believe it.
Even though one of the reasons for marriage is procreation, it is not solely for that. Marriage is far more than childbearing and rearing.
3. I can be untruthful and deceptive; it’s all part of the game. Marriage is not a game. It’s a covenant that requires absolute truthfulness. It is “naked and not ashamed.” Naked means no mask, no dress, nothing covering your nakedness. It means what any other person cannot see, your spouse will. That includes your thoughts, past, present, and every in between.
Unfortunately, the world is making nudity a public show. Scanty dresses and little respect for the body only in marriage. Little wonder, there is so much fornication and adultery.
4. I don’t have to tell my spouse everything Some married couples still believe there is wisdom in not telling their spouse everything. Well, maybe the wisdom of this world that is sensual. But the wisdom that is from above, God’s own wisdom, teaches us to be open and tell our spouses everything.
Don’t make any investment without telling your spouse. Don’t buy a house, land, or give out any money without the knowledge of your spouse.
5. There is no fun in marriage as it is boring and full of pressures. Marriage might come with its pressures. Life itself comes with pressures. For the believers, God has promised us a way of escape. He told us He has overcome the world with its pressures.
There is all that is needed for fun and excitement inside marriage. You have to discover how to get the fun out of it. It’s a lie of this age that you have to go outside of your marriage to catch fun. Don’t fall for it.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I learn the truth from God’s word about marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me your way
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. Riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness (Proverbs 8:17-18 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Avoid all these erroneous beliefs about marriage
Yesterday, westarted on the topic “How to tend your marriage” and we talked about one major way to make your marriage enjoyable. That is, to know the difference between a garden and a farm.
Our marriage should be viewed as a garden, not a farmland.
Below are few ways we can tend our marriage.
1. First discover the type of person your spouse is. Is your marriage a garden or a farm land?
2. This discovery has to be done by both of you discussing it.
3. Know what your partner requires you to make your marriage work.
4. Set out to learn about these requirements.
5. Never assume you know all it takes to make your marriage work.
6. Be focused on making it work.
7. Be ready and humble enough to learn.
8. Always take your spouse along and check with each other if you are making progress. For example, the proof you are on the right track is when you see the flowers in your garden blossom.
9. Don’t stop doing those things that produced the results.
10. Master the technique and do it over and over again, till it becomes part of you.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will blossom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the wisdom I need to tend my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
Couples, Tend Your Marriage. I liketo view marriage as a garden. Your marriage needs time, attention, care, being sensitive and gentle, and above all skill and patience. No matter what is planted in your garden, whether vegetables or flowers, it requires your attention. If you are not ready to give your garden time and attention, don’t bother planting a garden.
You must enjoy and love being around your garden for it to blossom. You can not treat your garden like you do farmland where a lot of farming is allowed. A garden is a personal assignment. You give it the time and attention it requires.
Never use the same principle you use in working the farmland on your garden. It won’t work because they are totally different. Many couples are making this mistake. They love the beauty of flowers but want to apply the method they use in planting cassava.
For your cassava, just make a heap, cut your cassava stem, stick it into the soil and you can go to sleep for the next several weeks. Your cassava does not need any special attention or focus. But not so with your garden.
You know sometimes, I wonder why, some marriages don’t reach their full potential despite the good heart of the couples. Some of them might be anointed. I heard pastor Benny Hinn, a man of God I so much love and respect said the main reason for his divorce was that he didn’t give the marriage the needed attention. Thank Gracious God they are beautifully restored now and doing very well.
I can not but wonder why? how? I guess God is so much principled that He will honor His word. The principle you work is what will work for you. Sometimes we need to slow down and give the needed attention our marriage requires. There is no point wishing your spouse were a ‘cassava’, if your spouse is a ‘rose flower’.
You better change your techniques and tools. If your spouse is a ‘rose flower’, get your hand gloves, hand trowel, watering can and get to work. You may not sweat it out like in the farm but you will be required to gently tend your garden. Each requires different skill.
However, if you stubbornly stick to the farming method you prefer you will not get the best of it.
Tomorrow, I will show us how we can tend our marriages.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will blossom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the wisdom I need to tend my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
We’ll continue from the devotional we started yesterday “Here is how to love your spouse”
3. Learn About how a man and a woman think
Apart from loving God, you need to discover how men and women think. This will help you in consciously following the pattern of their thought process. There is a way peculiar to how men think. Men are logical being, they process things and see things from the logical point of view.
Men also think in box-like patterns. That is why they love things that are box-like. They love television, football, mobile phones, cars, etc. A man cannot do too many things together, they can’t multitask, like women. An understanding of how men think will help you understand them.
Women are emotional beings. They see things from the emotional point of view. That’s why they cry mostly. A woman hurts deeper than a man.
They think in spaghetti-like patterns. That’s why a woman can have all her emotions juggling up and down. A woman can multitask and do so many things at the same time. This knowledge can solve some major issues in learning to love and understand your spouse.
4. Learn your spouses’ love language
We have dealt with love languages in depth in the past. Kindly refer to it for more about love languages. There will be a primary way your spouse feel loved. Find out that language and speak it. It is an amazing way to love your spouse when you speak their love language.
5. Be yourself, don’t pretend
In loving your spouse, you don’t have to pretend. We are all a work in progress. We are all getting better by the day. I can say I am getting better at loving my own husband now than before. The things that used to get me feeling bad are probably not a major concern to me anymore. I have become more matured.
So, if you are not there yet, don’t pretend you are there. You will soon discover you can’t fake it for long and then you will be back at square one. Go at your pace and don’t pretend. In fact, love never pretends, love is always transparent.
We will continue tomorrow with the concluding part of “how do I love my spouse?”
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to love my spouse. I have God’s wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to know and understand how to love my spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Finally, all [ of you ] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [ with one another ], loving [ each other ] as brethren [ of one household ], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble).” (1Pe 3:8, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start loving appropriately
How do you know how to love your spouse? This is an all-important question that we all try to answer ever since we got married. We all are still trying to answer it and we will still be answering it till death do us part. It is an awesome truth that only death is supposed to part husband and wife. Apart from that, no other thing is permitted to separate us.
Some of us need to learn and be taught how to love our spouses. No matter how complex they are, you have the capacity to love your spouse with the love of God. It is actually spiritual to love your husband/wife. There is nothing carnal in loving your spouse.
These are some ways
1. Love God first of all This is the very first step in loving your husband/wife, love God. A spouse that doesn’t love God cannot love his/her spouse. God is love and it takes a heart that knows God to love. You love God by loving His Word and doing His will.
When you love God this way, it becomes easier for you loving your spouse because you would have developed the capacity to love and put the flesh under. Human nature is generally selfish and does not want to love unconditionally.
God expects us to love our spouse unconditionally.
2. Know that you need God all the way Loving God is not something you do half half-heartedly or once and for all or once in a while. Because you cannot fully know God completely, you have to keep yearning for more of him. The more you discover about God, the more you want to love him. So in loving God, you become a God chaser.
I have seen in my own experience that, the more I chase after God the better I love my husband
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to love my spouse. I have God’s wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to know and understand how to love my spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Finally, all [ of you ] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [ with one another ], loving [ each other ] as brethren [ of one household ], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble).” (1Pe 3:8, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start loving appropriately
This is a question we need to ask ourselves from time to time. “Is God first in my marriage?” How do you deliberately keep God in that first place in your marriage?
Youdo that by making His word come first place in your relationship or marriage
How do you do that?
You read His word regularly.
You study His word regularly.
You obey His word all the way.
Let God be the first place.
When you have this covenant attitude, it will help you to resolve issues quickly in your marriage. You wouldn’t want to disobey God with strife and bitterness.
Listen to me, husbands, when you are angry with her, and you stay away from her and you refuse to talk with her, you are tampering with the blessings of God upon you as a family.
It is right there in the scripture:
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)
Treating your wife roughly can run prayer aground!
Wives, when you stay hurt over trivial issues and refuse all apologies or you refuse to apologise, you are actually playing with fire in the spiritual realm.
I jokingly said in an interview I had that my wife doesn’t say sorry to me. I say all the “sorry!”
But you see, in the first few years of our marriage, I didn’t use to say sorry! She said all the “sorry!”
So I guess she had exhausted her quota of “sorry” because she said it so many times! Now she doesn’t say it again, so I had to take over! It doesn’t diminish me a bit; the important thing is that somebody says “sorry!” That’s the goal.
All issues should be quickly resolved. It is not about who is wrong or who is right, it is just that you don’t want to get cut off from God’s blessings because of some feelings or ego!
It is a covenant understanding that you must imbibe which will make you go far in your marriage and in the things of God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise. I put God first place in my life and marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, teach me to be a wise son/daughter by placing a value on your word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: (1 Peter 3:8 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go ahead and end all quarrels
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR Genesis 43 – 45
We’ll be discussing the topic “Demonic Activities Versus Fleshly Lust in Marriage” in our devotional for couples today
In severalcounselling sessions I have been privileged to be in with my husband, I have heard cases that are so difficult to resolve.
Now, after a few years of marriage, I have come to realize that some of those messy scenarios have their foundations in demonic influences.
We need to be conscious of this so that it helps us to effectively address issues well. We need to establish the fact that the devil HATES marriage. He loathes it with a perfect hatred. A good marriage irritates him and infuriates him. He is not just a nuisance but an enemy of your marriage and mine.
Having an understanding of who our enemy is, it becomes easier for us to properly wage war against our enemy.
Most of the issues or problems we face in marriage are due to demonic influences. I pray that God will open the eyes of our understanding today to recognize who the real enemy is.
There is the flesh that we all must see to it that we crucify. For example, a choleric husband can be given to anger. He sees himself always getting angry. It could be his flesh. All he has to do is crucify or mortify his flesh. If he doesn’t do that, his marriage will suffer for it.
And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. Galatians 5:24 KJV
On the other hand are the activities of the devil through demonic influence or evil spirit. The aim of these spirits is to torment and torture us as married couples. They also don’t want is to know or serve the Lord effectively.
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10 KJV
The abundant life Jesus came to give us, they want to make sure it is a mirage.
For example, anger becomes demonic when demons or evil spirit makes one angry at every provocation in an uncontrollable and harmful way.
In marriage, your spouse will do things that you don’t like. The devil torments and doesn’t make you enjoy your marriage when there is a spirit of anger.
Some of the emotional or attitudinal issues we experience are the activities of the evil spirits. For example, most depression, fear, rejection, sicknesses, selfishness, etc.
What we need to do to these evil spirits is to cast them out. Cast them out of our marriages and life
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
I will continue tomorrow by God’s grace.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have control over my weaknesses.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the wisdom to stay above sin
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
This is a continuationof yesterday’s article where we talked about practical ways to show respect to your spouse in marriage
Here are practical ways to do this.
1. Know that your spouse is so very special before God. He/ she is costly and bought with the precious blood of Jesus. Jesus would have come to die for your spouse.
2. Do not yell at your spouse. You may be angry but never yell.
3. Allow freedom of expression. It is okay to be different; that is why you married in the first place. Men and women are meant to be different.
4. Let your spouse feel safe, secure and trusted by building mutual respect.
5. When you have opposing opinions which will happen most times, you listen. Your listening shows respect.
6. Respect that your spouse is worth listening to. He/ she has something vital to bring to the table.
7. Allow healthy space when it is needed, it shows respect. Let your spouse be by him/herself, have her own friends, her own things et cetera
8. Do not control one another. Your relationship is unhealthy when there is the slightest control. God asked us to love, not control. Jesus never controlled the church.
9. Both spouses should admit once they are wrong and sincerely seek for forgiveness. Swallow your pride and admit you are wrong and apologize.
10. Never treat one another shabbily, in private or public. Show appreciation for every little thing your spouse does. Don’t take each other for granted.
What other ways can you show respect to your spouse?
I will be expecting your replies in the comment box.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am submitted to my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to submit to my own spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:21(KJV) Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Today wewill be looking at the topic “Ten ways to show respect to yourselves in marriage”
Against contrary opinions, respect in marriage is mutual. People are of the opinion that respect for the husbands is a big deal. Yes, it is. Just as men do not want to be disrespected in private or public, so also women need a dose of respect.
Men can readily tell what a bruised ego is and in this part of the world. an average man will not tolerate to be disrespected in any form, method, shape or size. In other to have a relationship that is healthy and mutually beneficial, respect has to be mutual.
Some of us don’t even know when we are being disrespected. The gospel of men dominance has been preached for so long that women feel they are not worth much. that they are just worthless, less than good, helpless, weaker vessels.
Contrary wise, women have tremendous strength, ability, knowledge, wisdom and great dexterity. It takes great strength to be a mother and give birth to a child, to keep a home, multitask, submit to your husband and stay married. All these take great strength.
But if we are going to have a healthy marriage relationship we would know that submission to one another in the fear of God is essential. A man not submitted to Christ is a difficult man and hard to submit to.
This is not teaching or telling wives not to submit to their husbands. It is addressing that fact that marriage is meant to be mutually beneficial to both the husband and the wife.
Tomorrow, I will show us practical ways we can submit to one another in marriage.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am submitted to my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to submit to my own spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:21(KJV) Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
I will be concludingon this topic “When God is your husband” this morning.
It really takes a lot God being our husbands. When God, the Lord of host becomes our husbands and we truely have a revelation of what it means, it will affect every area of our lives.
God is the most important being on earth and in heaven. When He becomes our God, we have access to everything. Our needs are met emotionally, spiritually and physically. We are not in lack of anything.
When we put our trust in God as our husband and don’t put all our trust and hope in our husband to meet all our needs, we please God.
Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit. Jeremiah 17:7 – 8 KJV
The Bible promises us that when we catch the revelation of God as our husband, He sees to it that we are like trees planted by the river, and our leaves will never fade or wither.
For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. Isaiah 54:5 – 6 KJV
When God is your husband, despite what your husband does or doesn’t do, God promises;
1. Never to leave you nor forsake you.
Heb 13:5b for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
We have God’s assuring presence 24/7. In thick and in thin. He is not like men whose promises are shakky.
2. Whatever you ask will be done.
If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. John 15:7 KJV
God promises us that He as the Lord of host and the God of the whole earth, that nothing shall be impossible for him to do for us if we ask Him.
3. No condemnation
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1 KJV
As our husband, God will never condemn us even when we make mistakes or fall into temptation or fall short of His grace.
Whereas our earthly husband will abuse us, criticise us, judge us or speak harshly to us, He will not judge us. He will receive us in love.
4. My peace I give to you.
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33 KJV
Being married to God, we have assurance of peace. In whatever troubles of life, whatever situation or circumstance, we have access to peace. Whatever trouble our husband may give us, God says we should not worry because He has overcome the world, we should be of good cheer.
5. God will not lie to us.
In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. John 14:2 KJV
God will always tell us the truth. He’s not the type of husband that lies. He is sincerely sincere. He has 100℅ integrity. He never deceives us but speaks the truth to us. And thankfully, His truth are gracious. He tells the truth of who He has made us.
It is good we meditate on all these about God being our husband. It will take the pressure off our husbands. It will remove stress and unnecessary hurt from our lives.
The devil wants to use some husbands to break their wives all in the attempt of them not to be able to fulfill their roles of their helper.
When God takes His responsibility as our husband, He fills us with joy unspeakable full of glory whatever the case maybe. He makes us joyful wives because our supply of strength comes from Him.
I hope you were blessed.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY My God is my husband
PRAYER FOR TODAY Pray that you will experience the love of God
THOUGHT FOR TODAY Isa 54:5 (TLB) for your Creator will be your “husband.” The Lord Almighty is his name; he is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth.
ACTION PLAN FOR TODAY Study the bible reading for the day
Every wife should get to a point where no matter how loving and romantic and cordial they are with their spouse, they still give God his place. God deserves the first place in our lives and He wants to have all of our heart, mind, energy, and best of our beings. God is a jealous God and He will not share His glory with any other man, not even our husbands.
Our husbands, no matter how they love, if they cannot love us like Jesus, they cannot die for us. That’s why Jesus is the lover of our souls. He alone can love deeply and extravagantly.
If our husbands are godly, God will reveal to them how to love and treat us. But that also depends on how well they can receive from the Lord. Our spouses at the very best are still ‘human’. They are not given to meet all our needs. They can only try. God wants our attention, focus, love and worship.
You cannot beg to be loved. Rather look to God to meet your deepest emotional needs.
Most spouses don’t even understand their wives. We are so wired differently. So sometimes, they are not being wicked, they don’t just have a clue on how to love us the right way. That’s when God steps in. He wants to meet all our emotional, spiritual, social, physical needs. He knows us because He created us.
There some of our needs that we don’t even understand or can articulate in the right way or with the right words, making it difficult for even our husbands to try and meet. So take the frustration off your husband and off your marriage. Let your spouse do what he can do and allow God do what He can and wants to do.
Don’t let your esteem or self-worth come solely from your spouse. Your self-worth should come from God. You are very special to God. You worth so much to Him. You are Royalty. You are the apple of His eyes. God will bat an eye lid to protect you.
For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou was refused, saith thy God. Isaiah 54:5 – 6 KJV
The scripture in Isa 54:5 is telling us that thy Maker is thy Husband. God is speaking to us what it is. God is not just trying to be our husband or writing an application to be our husbands. We have to receive these words, believe it and walk in the light of it. We have to mediate on it so much until it becomes real to our hearts.
God is saying we are Mrs God! What a privilege! We are not just His princesses, we are married to Him. He is our maker. He understands us. He knows our wiring because He put them there. He knows what words to speak to us par time.
We are married to the Almighty, all powerful, the wealthiest on the earth and in heaven. Hallelujah! It’s so comforting and refreshing to know. God finds you so lovely, flawless and gorgeous.
So other women are being treated harshly by their husbands. They are oppressed, bullied and abused. God wants you to shift your focus from the hurt you are experiencing. Give that hurt to God your husband. He knows how to fix it. God is introducing Himself as the Lord of hosts. He has hosts to deploy to rescue you. You are Royalty, her Royal Majesty.
Never forget that. Find a way to always remind yourself that. I wear a tiny chain around my neck to remind me I am royalty. I am loved by God.
I will get into what it means to have God as your husband tomorrow by God’s grace.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY My God is my husband
PRAYER FOR TODAY Pray that you will experience the love of God
THOUGHT FOR TODAY Isa 54:5 (TLB)for your Creator will be your “husband.” The Lord Almighty is his name; he is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth.
ACTION PLAN FOR TODAY Study the bible reading for the day
There are differenttypes, kinds, shades, and forms of trouble in life and of course, in marriage. Some of these troubles we face in marriage are due to our carelessness most of the time. While others are the devil wanting to stir up issues.
Whichever way, God has told us of how to handle troubles in His word.
I must admit that there are some troubles or challenges that are so bigger than us. There is no way we can come out of then successfully without God intervening.
King David even though he was God’s beloved Psalmist, faced different situations way bigger and stronger than he. The good news is that God brought him over them all.
At whatever season in our marriage, when trouble comes, not if they come, because they will surely come, if we are believers, we are assured victory.
Some challenges are spiritual and must be dealt with by engaging in spiritual warfare. Whether they are in-law issues, financial, child birth, barrenness, betrayal, infidelity issues, health issues or we just noticed some resistance on our way, or there are constant quarrels between us as couples that really has no basis, or any other attack on our marriage, it calls for spiritual warfare.
That is the time we should deal with and take charge of whatever trouble or strange oppressive spirit from the devil that wants to destroy our marriages.
We must know how to intercede for our marriage more than anything else. We fight on our knees.
The bible says
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:3 – 5 KJV
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 KJV
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
Our major work is to bind the wrong spirit behind such issues and loose the power of God. We come against the different spirits causing troubles for us and not allow us to enjoy peace, love and joy in our marriage.
Some problems are not with the 3rd party but within spouses. You have to learn to take charge and exercise authority over such anti-peace, anti-unity spirit. All they are after is to cause division, disunity, distress and fight in the marriage.
Also, praying for the eyes of the understanding of the other party is important.
That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, Ephesians 1:17 – 18 KJV
By the time you have engaged in spiritual warfare, God promised us victory over every trouble. The victory may not come the way we want. But victory is sure and peace will be restored into our marriage
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not a careless spouse. I engage in battle for my family.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
Women geteasily hurt. And the husbands may not even be aware that they are hurt because their needs are miles apart.
Those are the times a husband asks his wife, “what is wrong?” She simply answers “Nothing!”She says nothing because she doesn’t feel good explaining that something so little gets her upset. Or she knows if she tries to explain, the husband might end up making her look like an idiot. So she keeps quiet.
What are examples of those little things that could upset your wife?
Here we go.
1. Don’t do things that make her uncomfortable sexually. Don’t embarrass her and don’t compare her with some past escapades.
2. Don’t ignore her when it comes to making important of financial decisions. Don’t leave her in the dark, keeping her guessing all the time.
3. Don’t compare her with others especially when it has to do with her appearance, weight or hairdo. Don’t go out of your way to appreciate and dote on other women while you completely ignore her.
4. Don’t do things that you have disallowed her from doing, making her feel like a little child who cannot think for herself.
5. Don’t ignore her when she is emotionally down or physically tired. Don’t say things like, “I am tired of you. When you get out of your nasty moods, let me know!”
6. Don’t hug and embrace other ladies endlessly while you don’t even hold her hands in public. Go out of your way and offer some PDA! Public Display of Affection!
7. Don’t leave her alone to do all the house chores while still expecting her to be an amazon in bed later in the night. That would be insensitive.
8. Don’t make her do all the pornographic antics and gymnastics you could have watched in the past, and then making her feel she is frigid if she couldn’t do such. Rather appreciate her for not having a dirty mind and understand that most things you watched were acted by professional prostitutes and men of depraved mind!
9. Don’t watch football all day and all night while refusing to let her watch her favorite programs. Don’t make her look like an idiot for her preference of programs. Join her to watch sometimes, and encourage her to join you as well.
10. Don’t forget or deliberately ignore her special days like birthdays and other anniversaries. That will hurt her. Rather go out of your way to set notifications so that you can surprise her on those special days.
May God grant more understanding
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am good spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bless our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 5:18 (KJV) Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
This morning we will be considering the topic “Can I Change My Spouse?” This is a question that has been in the minds of many married couples.
Mr. And Mrs. Scott have been married for five years and both of them are frustrated. They are both born again, God loving and loved each other passionately. But over the years, that love seemed to have waned. The love they once had seemed to have evaporated into the thin air. The butterflies that used to congregate into the love shape within their tummies seemed to have gone on vacation.
The eyeballs of Mrs Scott that used to engender a rush of adrenalin in her husband seemed the very source of irritation now. From, “I just love your eyeballs, they are heavenly,” It is now, “Please, stop looking at me irritatingly like that!”
The broad shoulders of Mr. Scott that weakens the knees of his wife as she admires him, does nothing to her now. In fact, she thinks, he is too wide chested! Does he think they sell “chests” on earth when he was being created?
What happened?
Well, The Scotts embarked on a journey to change each other shortly after their wedding. They constantly sang the song into each other’s ears.
“You need to change.” “You are the problem in this house.” “If only you can change.”
Well, they never changed. And that is the reality you will always meet and see in marriage. When you expect your spouse to change overnight, you will be heavily disappointed. When either spouse is an unbeliever, that is another thing entirely. Change in that sense is possible and can be anytime. But when we talk about habits, attitudes, and behavioral patterns it can take a while. Take note of these few points.
1. Patience You will need to exercise patience! It takes a while. Let’s assume your spouse was twenty five years old by the time you got married.It means that he or she has been formed into a certain mold for twenty five years.
Coming into marriage and expecting a quick change because your sermonized or lectured him or her will not make a change in a few days. If you keep expecting a quick change, you may be disappointed.
1Co 13:4 (CEV) Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud…
I think in marriages, you always get to understand that virtue called “long-suffering!”
2. Don’t lecture or sermonize Your lectures and long talks does nothing at the end of the day.It only turns you into a nag, a domineering spouse and an impatient spouse. Between a husband and a wife, one will talk more than the other. Don’t ever make the mistake thinking your ability to package words is effective on your spouse. It is even much more annoying and irritatingly hilarious if your spouse is a phlegmatic who doesn’t want trouble. He or she will allow you to talk and talk, and then will promise you there is change, only so that you can stop talking! Only to do the very thing you’ve been talking about!
You feel like escaping from the marriage, but sorry, you are hooked already! Trust God that things will get better.
3. Pray rather than talk and talk Your most effective and sure way to create any change is to pray.Take it to God and stop wearing yourself out. Try and think about it, you’ve been complaining about something for seven years, yet no change! And you keep complaining! Don’t you think in seven years, your spouse has disconnected himself or herself from your complaints? He or she has mastered the art of closing the gate of his heart, you are only talk to the ears! It does nothing and it would do nothing! Pray about it!
4. Get back Into dating mode You used to love yourselves! What happened? You used to overlook and ignore some things you are bitterly complaining about now. You need to get back into that romantic mode and love each other again rather that thinking your spouse is the problem of your family!
1Co 13:7 (CEV) Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.
Be supportive, be hopeful and trust again. Cast your cares unto Jesus and stop focusing in the flaws of your spouse. Get back into appreciating him or her in the area of strength.
I pray that God will help you need and send the very help you need in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be love my spouse again
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 13:7 (GW) Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.
Part of beingsincere and being open and transparent in marriage is being able to express yourself without feeling ashamed. This is why we are considering the topic Don’t Be Afraid of Being Needy In Marriage”
I know this could be difficult to do. I have been there before. My husband is a full-blown-blooded choleric. And clerics are very expressive and opinionated. They could be very blunt and believe why should they be diplomatic? In fact, the blunter the better. They are not apologetic at all.
In my own thinking as a phlegmatic, everything has to be with diplomacy. You have to think of not hurting the other person even if it means you get hurt instead. You have to be apologetic and so on.
My husband is of the opinion that if he needs anything he will ask. Jokingly or straightforward, he will ask. He believes there is nothing he should not be able to ask his wife especially Jeru trip(*winks). He is never ashamed.
I had to learn to ask and not be ashamed that I am needy.
Recently, I saw our Caucasian dog do this and the Holy Spirit ministered to me that it’s so easy to ask for what you want.
Shame is a sign you are not naked and transparent with your spouse yet.
Our huge dog, whenever you are outside will come to you, make sure you notice him and then lie down very close to you expecting that you use your leg to rub him. He shows pleasure and if you remove your leg he will use his own legs to touch you. A non-verbal way of saying “don’t stop”.
We as couples should always learn to ask politely and courteously from our spouse. Don’t let the unfavorable answer of our spouses discourage us. Just ask. It is either he/she says Yes, No, or some other time.
We all are needy, in one way or another. Where I am strong my husband is weak and he is strong where I am weak. God created it so. We need one another, but we have the responsibility of making our needs known.
Don’t be too egoistic and don’t be ashamed of your needs. God already knows you are needy. Don’t also try to be humble unnecessarily by sacrificing your needs. Talk about your needs as a woman. Talk about your needs as a man, which includes jeru trip, intimacy, affection, time out even the need to be pampered.
Let’s be expressive even if we have to learn it.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I put God first place in my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, empower me to do thy will, at all times
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to sow a good seed into her today!
There aremany reasons why your wife loses interest in bed with you.
This attitude is not to be ignored because it can potentially bring harm to marriage.
It can push a man without self control into the zone of adulterous escapades, and of course, that comes with its unpleasant and attendant consequences that are detrimental to the family and home.
When this happens over and over again, that marriage is in serious danger of being exploited by the devil.
What seems like occasional refusals can quickly degenerate to a point where the wife closes up her spirit and the husband starts looking elsewhere.
When you look at the scriptures, it advocates that you should not deny each other sexually.
As a counselor, I have to counsel not too few a couple on this area.
What are those reasons why a wife can suddenly lose interest, especially if she has been cooperative before?
1. When she is repeatedly hurt and disappointed
Yes, the man is the head of the house and he is supposed to have the final say.
But when the man refuses to let his wife talk all the time, shuts her up and mute her voice, it can make her withdraw emotionally. When she is withdrawn emotionally, she cannot enjoy jeru trip like she should.
She is not a prostitute. And because she is not, a sexual experience for her is a total experience that affects every part of her.
If she is unhappy while at it, she can have the feeling of being raped.
And when this happens continuously, she would associate pain to an experience that you are supposed to enjoy and which is supposed to transport you to a land of delight like never before.
I believe this is one of the reasons Apostle Peter said:
1Pe 3:7 (CEV) If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor…
Being thoughtful about her off bed will make her cooperate more on the bed. Invest in her emotionally. Stop hurting her over and over again. The moment you lose her emotionally, you will not enjoy yourself as well.
I am not justifying this attitude on the part of the wife, because this attitude is not the appropriate response to an insensitive husband.
Maybe he just does not understand how to treat a woman or how you want to be treated specifically.
That is not a sin in itself, he only needs to learn. So, talk to him. Explain, rather than withdraw, go quiet and sulk. Communicate. Express your frustrations without nagging and work together to build your home.
May God grant more understanding!
Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will cooperate with my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let your love be shed abroad in our home
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:7 (GW) Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are. Honor your wives as those who share God’s life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.
I discussed the topic “How To Overcome Hurt In Marriage” yesterday and today, I will be concluding on the topic.
We established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to wrought his 3 fold agenda in marriages which is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immune to the strategies and attacks of the enemy. He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snooze out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
Hurt is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God.
Getting rid of hurts and making sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise. See the spiritual implication of hurt and what it can potentially do to your marriage.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder.
There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim to the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle hurt include:
1. Vengeance or retaliation. This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or event that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degree of hurt, but whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our heart and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our heart against hurts is taking communion. Try it because it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also take authority over the hurt. Exercise authority over words that cause hurts. Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. Isaiah 54:17 KJV
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there are exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with , you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness defile you.
Let your heart be void of offence, bitterness or hurt against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be hurt. I refuse to be bitter.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to forgive those who hurt me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to get rid of offense
