In our concluding part, I will be talking about how your marriage can move up on the level of communication and become an intimate couple. The goal in every marriage should be to know each other and be as intimate with your spouse as much as possible.
We stopped at level 3 communication. Today, we will be looking at levels 4 and 5.
Level 4: Emotional Talk.
‘Let me tell you, How I feel’.
In this fourth level of Communication, we share our feelings. When our feelings are shared, we share ourselves. Because we are what and how we feel.
We are simply making ourselves vulnerable. When we share with our mate how we feel, the intention is not whether we are right or wrong. We mostly don’t want to be judged because of how we feel. We just need our spouse to listen, understand and accept that, thats the way we feel.
We kill intimacy when we are quick to judge the feeling. Am not saying we should not correct but first acknowledge your spouse feelings.
It is difficult for most people to share their feelings than their thoughts. These are 2 very different things
‘I feel that guy is a thief’.
‘I feel, the car will break down’
‘I am thinking the issue with the woman is not natural’.
When you share your feelings you are expressive. When you don’t share your deepest feelings, a path of you is left hidden or covered. When you share your feelings, you are vulnerable, open, unashamed, no inhibitions.
Couple should aim at growing together into this fourth level of Communication, to enjoy a higher level of intimacy.
There is still the fifth level which is highest level of Communication.
Level 5 of Communication.
Loving, Genuine Truth Talk
‘Let’s Be Honest’.
This level allows us to speak the truth in love. It is a place of honesty without condemnation.
Most couples are finding out that such open, honest and loving communication enhances a much deeper level of intimacy. Where couples can share their feelings and thoughts without feeling unsafe. Both have a sense of safety and security. This requires an attitude of acceptance.
You know your spouse understands you even if they don’t agree with you.
We can always agree to disagree without shaming ourselves or making us look like less smart.
We can have differing opinions and still be friends. No hurts, no guilt, no condemnation and we are still good to go.
We can’t be the same. Remember, acceptance is the key.
We may start out on the first level of Communication, bit please don’t let us remain there.
As a couple we should aim at moving higher in the way we relate, understand and communicate with each other.
This will require certain level of work and being intentional about getting to understand your spouse.
The higher we grow in our Kevel of communicating with ourselves the more intimate we grow with our spouse.
I pray God will grant us wisdom and grace and help is all to communicate better in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I know how to communicate with my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Eph 5:22 KJV Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Talk to your spouse
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
CHURCH: Shouts of Grace Center, Ibadan
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