The devil issuch a bad devil. But thank God we have a good God! Left for the devil, he doesn’t want any progress for your life or marriage. So he comes up with several devices, just to keep you ultimately away from God.
He would use just anybody around you to fight and attack you and bring weariness and tiredness to your soul. He would incite strife, depression, and moodiness just to create problems.
The fire in marriage should not be allowed to go out. The fire in you as a child of God must not die.
Are you in that place and it looks your spiritual life dropped after you got married?
There could be a lot of reasons responsible for that. It could be a result of unexpected pressures arising from the transition from being single to becoming a married person. It could be that marital activities and the desire to please your spouse overtook the time you usually spend with God.
However, it is your passion for God that must be prioritized.
As David noted:
Psa 42:1 (KJV) As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
This panting, this passion, must not be substituted with any other thing!
I so much love how Message Translation puts this.
Psa 42:1 (MSG) A psalm of the sons of Korah. A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek; I want to drink God, deep draughts of God.
You must keep drinking from God, deeply. This is what ignites the fire in your soul and in your marriage.
The fire in your life must not go out. The fire in your marriage must not go out. The fire in your bedroom must not go out.
Keep the embers fired up with honesty, faithfulness, love, submission, and absolute focus on God and your spouse.
May God’s help never cease in your life and marriage!
Have a beautiful day and see you tomorrow for another word from the Lord.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marital fire will not be extinguished.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that you will remain on fire for God even after marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 42:1 (KJV) As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY What were those things you did before getting married? Are you still doing them?
Marriage is the placewhere you will have to come to terms with the practicality of forgiveness. In other relationships, forgiveness is also essential but it may not be as that of marriage.
In marriage, you will have to forgive for the relationship to be healed. You and your spouse cannot avoid each other. You live together, have children together, for the sake of peace and progress, forgiveness is very necessary.
The standard of the Word of God is so high. That’s why it is a narrow road that leads to heaven. The Bible does not mince words when we are told to love our enemies. Hmmm. I thought we should love our friends and well-wishers and stay clear and avoid our enemies.
The bible tells us to love them, and bless those who curse us. That is pretty hard; a hard pill to swallow. I believe that is why we have to live in the spirit so we do not gratify the lust of the flesh. We need the Holy Ghost power. We cannot do it in our own natural strength.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Matthew 5:44 KJV
Our differences will most often act as a threat to our marital union and our mandate as couples. It will pose a problem to our becoming one. The natural man tends to be selfish and only the one that is submitted to Christ and His word can love genuinely.
It is easier for women to hold on to hurts and have difficulty forgiving. Women are hurt deeply essentially because they are emotional beings and because they analyze more. Whichever way, let God be true and every man a liar. The standard of God’s word must be followed. A different gospel is not for men and another for women. We are to follow and obey the same word. We should allow the Holy Spirit to rightly discern the situation and analyze it for us.
God is not saying we should not be hurt, angry, or need time to heal. We should do that and then get over it and move on. That’s where power lies. That’s where victory begins. The Word says we should be angry but we are not permitted to sin.
We sin when we over-analyze. There is a spiritual way to analyze things that instead of being bitter we become better. When we allow bitterness we open the door for other demons to enter our lives and afflict us. Disobedience opens the door for the enemy of our souls. We open the door for sicknesses, diseases, poverty, disfavor, et cetera.
Joseph could have wasted his life being bitter. He could have lost years by being bitter. He could have lost opportunities, but he chose to enjoy where he is on his way to being better and his way to where God is taking him to.
Joseph saw his brothers who sold him into slavery and he analyzed the situation well with the help of the Holy Spirit. He said what they meant for evil, God used it to preserve many lives. Can you allow that situation to become a tool in the hands of God?
I am not saying it will be easy. That’s where taking up your cross daily and following God is about.
Couples, learn to give that situation to God. You are reviled, persecuted, unjustly treated, abused, afflicted, cheated, et cetera. . Surrender it to the Lord. Give it to Him. Allow the Holy Spirit to make you see what it really is. Until Joseph saw correctly, he could not forgive and forget.
Jesus was able to pass through the cross because he saw well. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross. He could say father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing. God is able to turn things around and make your mess a message that will liberate thousands.
Don’t fight your spouse, forgive and move on. Learn what you are to learn. Don’t be afraid of being misjudged or treated unfairly. Jesus was wrongly and falsely accused. He shut His mouth and didn’t answer back. It was though, but in the end, He was justified and glorified
Ask the Lord to help you see well and He will come to your aid.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I amseeing well. I choose to forgive ahead.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the help of God concerning your marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Matthew 5:44 KJV But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Thismorning, I will like to share with you how to recognize if you are going too far in a marriage. There is no child of God that outrightly proceeds into an adulterous relationship. It is usually a subtle happenstance, an innocent friendship, albeit, the subtlety and innocence would never be an excuse for compromise.
There is a difference between a platonic friendship and a romantic relationship. When you have a platonic relationship with another married person, there would be no qualms. But the moment the relationship crosses the line from platonic to romantic, there would be issues and one can be easily trapped. An emotional affair is just a step before a full-blown affair and it is as sinful as adultery.
The question then is at what point does a friendship cross from platonic to romantic?
1. When that which ought to be kept secret between you and your spouse is divulged to the other person. This is the first sign that you are playing with fire. When a married person begins to share with you what ought to be secrets between him and his spouse, it is a good place to run away.
Or when as a married person, you begin to share with that young single lady what ought to be the exclusive reserve for you and your spouse, you are crossing the line and trying to hug some fire.
Also, when a married woman begins to look forward to seeing a single male friend, adultery is knocking.
2. When you catch yourself fantasising or daydreaming about somebody else apart from your spouse. You are travelling beyond the platonic into the romantic, and definitely, something will soon happen that might culminate into regrets later.
3. When you start discussing your marital problems with somebody else. When a married person of the opposite sex starts discussing his marital issues or starts reporting his spouse, the conversation is probably going too far. You might be feeling cool that the person trusts you to divulge such prized information, but if you are not careful, emotions would soon be involved.
You might even have the righteousness complex where you become a counsellor, trying to encourage him or her. The problem is that compassion can turn into confusion very quickly. It is all a ploy when a married person stands before you like or she needs help from you.
What wisdom does a thirty-five-year-old married man need from a single beautiful twenty-three-year-old girl? Where are the pastors and counsellors? It is a trap. At what point did you become a counsellor? Did you read Guidance and counselling in school? Many people have attempted to counsel others like that and ended up cancelling their destinies.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not careless with my destiny
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, guide me from stepping into wrong paths
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. [ Pro 6:23 ]” (Psa 119:105, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Run away from every friendship that has crossed the line
Marriage likeany other structure or organization can fall or fail. Ours will not fall in Jesus’ name.
It is amazing how people, CEOs, general overseers, managing directors put a lot of energy and structures into their businesses, organization, churches, and empires and care little about their marriages.
We think differently about our businesses and differently about our marriages. It won’t work that way. We should aim at putting as much effort, prayers, faith, learning, structures, principles that we put into other vocations into our marriages and things will work out better.
To get a different result, we should do things differently. We respect team work in our organizations, let’s do same in our marriages. We respect other people’s opinions, we are kind and nice to others, we value other people’s uniqueness, let’s do same with our spouses. We spend time, energy, money learning strategies and implementing new ways of doing things, let’s do so with our marriages too.
Here are five simple things that will help keep our marriages strong
1. Never neglect your spouse no matter what Neglect could be in various dimensions. First seek what neglect is to your spouse. Be willing to adjust and avoid neglecting each other spiritually, emotionally and physically. Neglect will cause your love for each other to dwindle.
2. Never stop real communication Communication is very important. In fact, the health of a marriage can be determined by their level of conversation, it’s quality and quantity.
Communication in marriage should not just be reduced to passing of important information and instruction. To keep communication going, there must be a lot of understanding.
Decide to have meaningful, heart to heart conversation with your spouse daily. It warms your heart to each other. Never be too busy. Sexual communication is also important.
3. Never take each other for granted Taking each other for granted is similar to neglect but slightly different. When you take your spouse for granted, you treat them casually or with levity, or without much concern. Never be a one man gang that is always, only concerned about your own affairs.
4. Never harbor hurt or unforgiveness When there is hurt or offenses, try and talk about it. Make your self easy to talk to and with. Some spouses have made themselves so defensive their spouse can’t express their real feelings to them. Hurts will cage your feelings and make your heartthrob grow cold towards you.
5. Never stop forgiving, praying and loving your spouse No matter how rough or tough it may seem. Never stop forgiving your spouse. Never stop praying and trusting God for the best in your marriage.
God is able to bring His beautiful plans and purpose out of your marriage. He is able to make all things work out for your good.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will never fail
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me wisdom I need in my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Col 3:18 – 19 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Sometimes, husbands want to please or do things that their wives enjoy. They experience frustration in trying to make them happy, especially since their wives are emotional beings. One moment they are happy, the other moment they are not so happy. Since their emotions are not stable, it becomes difficult for the husbands to know how to meet them at their point of need.
I think there are three areas or ways that any time, a woman will always find enjoyable. A man has to be patient with his wife. An impatient husband will always be seen as a not too caring husband.
If every husband can do these three things, there will always be smiles and peace in the marriage.
1. Be Understanding 2. Be tender 3. Buy her things.
1. Be understanding
The man is the head and so makes a lot of decisions. A woman does certain things and may not think of the consequences, maybe because she is emotional. The logic of the husband usually corrects all these.
But in correcting, he should try and not be hard. He will be tempted to be hard and harsh in correcting her. But if you don’t yield to temptation it will be good.
There is always gratefulness that every wife expresses to an understanding husband. It is understanding that makes a husband not flare up and get angry at every provocation. It is understanding that makes a husband read in between the lines and put himself in her shoes.
2. Be tender Most men are by nature wired to be leaders and could be hard. But for the sake of peace in the home, you have to be tender and choose to lead lovingly.
The password of any woman is always being tender to her. The woman does not need the tenderness of any other man but that of her own husband.
The husband must know that he has a responsibility to always meet this need of being tender. Your wife enjoys this more than giving her a million dollars.
3. Buy her gifts There is a chord inside every woman that buying gifts touches. Ladies are known to like anything shiny. A woman can never have enough gifts, there is always room for more.
The gifts don’t have to be big or expensive. It is the gesture of being remembered and spending money to buy her stuff that matters.
The gifts should be consistent, not once in a while. Some husbands think when they buy her gifts often, she takes them for granted. Not true at all.
How often do you want your wife happy? If your answer is often, then buy her gifts often. Gifts mean taking her out sometimes. Spending time with her and just taking care of her.
Spend your money on her. Don’t be afraid to spend on your wife, God will provide. It is said that when you want to spoil your wife, God will always provide the money.
First, let it be in your heart to do and God will put it in your hands.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that every doubt will be destroyed
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Php 4:7, MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Spend time in God’s presence
It should beour aim in marriage to want to do those things that please our spouses, whether you are the wife or husband. I remembered how I used to read about anything that has to do with marriage when I first got married. I wanted to have a good marriage and so I looked for ways to improve our marriage.
In my twenty-one-plus years of marriage, I have found these 3 things particularly heartwarming. No matter how these three things will make your husband be endeared to you.
They are;
1. Good food 2. Jeru trip 3. Attention
1. Good food Men enjoy good food, well prepared. If you have a husband that can cook and enjoys cooking you are sure blessed. But basically, the kitchen is not their place. They enjoy varieties but you have to know your own husband. Some don’t like experiments. They have a sensitive tummy and so won’t try out anything different.
You will do good to spice up your cooking. These days that women are career women, it may be difficult. But anything for your marriage and home is worth it. The jobs will go but what will remain is your marriage and your husband.
2. Attention This comes in different flavors but attention is still attention. As a married woman, your husband does not want to have the slightest feeling that someone else is taking your attention in any way.He wants to be reassured over and over again that he is the only one you are dedicated to in terms of time and attention. Your husband also enjoys it if you spend time with him talking and playing.
3. Jeru trip Every man enjoys jeru trip. What jeru trip is for a man is different from what it is for a woman. For a man, it releases tension. All his creativity comes alive. It is like a renewal of strength and rejuvenation. So your husband enjoys it. So if you are a married woman, just know that you have signed for these three things for life.
You must up your game not to be found wanting in these three areas. Never complain, never wish your husband was less demanding but be up to the task and the Lord will help you.
Some husbands are more demanding than usual but God will give you the grace you need.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am able to meet my husband’s need
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the grace to meet the needs of my husband
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 31:11 (KJV) The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
In today’sdevotional, we’ll be looking at “Overcoming Your Marital Challenges Through Patience”. We may have so many ‘buts’, but one thing remains which stands sure and that is you are married.
Yes, married for life and married till death do you part. But marriage requires a lot of patience, hard work, and some more patience. This is what we need to overcome marital challenges that will come our way.
Like the movie, I and my husband saw some time ago. It was a pathetic story of a young lady who married her high school lover, got married against the advice of her sisters all in the name of love. She kept spending all she had for this guy who kept on promising things will be better.
She was the one funding the guy’s education and finally when she thought the guy would get a job to help her, he was busy with a project. The lady worked two jobs just to make ends meet. They spent all her mum’s money left for her till they were bankrupt.
This guy couldn’t get a job because he was an ex-convict. He devoted all his life to his project with the promise things will get better. The lady was frustrated. And one day out of her frustration decided to file for a divorce coupled with the fact that she suspected him of adultery.
After eighteen years of waiting for all his wonderful promises, she decided to call it quit. She was tired and frustrated. After some months of the lady giving upon him, his project hit it big. Her once not so good for nothing husband became a millionaire. She tried to get back but it was too late.
Her ex-husband was married to the same lady she accused him of having an affair with. She went through a season of guilt, shame, jealousy, and rage. All the things her ex-husband promised her were now to be enjoyed by another woman.
She loves her husband but… she could no longer wait. She was frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed. She could no longer wait and she had wrong advice from her sisters.
Please, whatever you are going through in your marriage, know that with a lot of patience you can overcome. You will still have your dreams come through. Don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t be like this woman who eventually killed herself out of jealousy. She labored but another ate the fruit of her labour. That will not be your portion
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be wait for your salvation in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:12 (KJV) Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin today to acknowledge the person of the Holy spirit.
Hello there, every couple or marriage has the potentiality of being tempted into an affair. Now, you need to understand that there are different types of affairs. Whatever or whichever affair, it’s best to close the door on any type of affair. Your spouse may be innocent or naive but there are desperate fellows out there. Oftentimes, these people are under the influence of Satan.
Remember the devil’s ministry is to steal, kill and destroy. Don’t give the devil a foot hold or he will take a mile. Affair proofing your marriage is not about becoming a SSS or a monitoring spirit and stalking your spouse all around.
Here are some tips that will help you protect your spouse from affair.
1. Make yourself so valuable to your spouse, he/she will always need you 2. Be true and genuine friends. 3. Love your spouse deeply. 4. Strive at all times to meet each other’s deepest needs. 5. Keep communication open all the time. The more you share communication on deep issues the more you protect your spouse from external influences. 6. Pray for your spouse daily and pray together daily. 7. Let your marriage be mentored. 8. Make God and His word and principle be the life line of your marriage. 9. Be sincere with each other in all things no matter how insignificant it may look. 10. Develop your individual fellowship with the Holy Spirit so you can be sensitive to His leading. This way the Holy Spirit can help you discern people with a ulterior motive around your spouse.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My spouse is protected from affairs
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, keep me and my spouse safe from affairs.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: (1 Peter 3:8 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to affair proof your marriage
In today’sdevotional, we’ll be looking at two very important things every wife should do to their husbands, lets’ delve in.
1. Respect your husband Respect is actually a virtue of the heart. It is a value system you place on your husband based on the understanding and acceptance of his headship position. Respect could be verbal, physical, and definitely attitudinal.
You need to respect your own husband. That’s an assignment, you must never fail at. In respecting him, you need to know what respect is for your own husband.
You don’t define what respect is to your husband, your husband defines to you what respect is to him according to God’s word.
You are to specifically ask him what you can do that will make him feel respected. It could be the way to talk, how you serve his food, how you take care of the home, how the kids are cared for, how you sacrifice for him, how you treat his stuff, how you get interested in his business etc.
Don’t assume or guess, ask him, you might be surprised at how simple things could be a big deal for your husband.
2. Pray for your husband One of the greatest ways you can fulfill your assignment as a helpmeet is to pray for Him. Be his intercessor.
Pray for and about every single part of your husband’s life. Nothing is too big or too small to escape your talking to God about.
Pray for him when he is at his best as a father, husband and when he is doing well. Don’t wait for things to get not too good before you start praying. Keep your prayer bank full and God will honour you.
Your husband will also love you more.
There are some issues that God just steps in and defends you without you having to struggle for in your marriage. It’s a spiritual thing and he will just love you more without knowing why. I enjoy this a lot because I keep praying for my husband always.
Helping him is essentially praying for him. He is the head, you are the heart, the engine, and the power room. Never stop praying for him, no matter what.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15, KJV)
Walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. It is in marriage that you can best apply this scripture. There will be many opportunities in marriage to fulfill the lust of the flesh. Our flesh wants to rise big time whenever our spouses do something that we consider unpleasant.
All works of the flesh as described in Galatians 5: 19-21 especially enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill temper), selfishness, divisions, envy can all be seen in marriages.
In marriage, we are tempted to pay back evil for evil, tit for tat and it is easier to go by the rule of a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye. In marriage, it is easy to enter into strife, to be angry at our spouse, and be bitter against them.
In my twenty-one-plus years of marriage, I have come to note that it is always easier to nip things in the bud before they get out of hand. It is always easier to apologize on time before things get out of hand. It is always easier to talk things over than to let them linger and become bigger.
Galatians 5:22 (Amp), ‘But the fruit of the Holy Spirit (the work which His presence within accomplishes) is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self- control (self restraint, continence)
When we allow the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives, the resultant effect will be a Spirit-controlled marriage. That is where the Lord wants us to get to. That no matter what happens or whoever it is that is at fault, we are Spirit-controlled. Our lives are controlled and influenced by the Holy Spirit.
This can only happen when we begin to acknowledge the Holy spirit’s presence in our lives individually. When we learn to put our bodies under and allow the Holy Spirit His rightful place.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am Spirit Controlled.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me acknowledge the Holy Spirit’s place in my life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 5:16 (MSG) My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin today to acknowledge the person of the Holy Spirit.
One sureway to do this is to let your husband have the final say. Give your husband the honor of having the final say in your marriage.This is how to win the heart of your husband.
The intelligent, opinionated, and strong-willed wives have issues with this. They are choleric, goal-getters, and achievers. They are used to making their own decisions and sticking to them.
Of truth, opposites attract, so usually, a fast and active wife will probably have a quiet, slow, and steady husband. Now the challenge would be being submissive to your husband when you consider him too slow, passive, and weak.
You know what, that is your opinion, but if you want to win your husband’s love, you need to tuck in this opinion and obey God’s instruction to submit to your own husband’s disposition. After airing your opinion, genuinely let your husband have the last say. Remember he is the king of your family kingdom. The king’s words are never to be argued.
So what if I am sure he is in the wrong, should I just look on? Not necessarily, you can pray about it but not argue endlessly.
Give your husband the honor of reigning in your marriage, let him have the last say. Never drag power or usurp authority with your husband. Keep your tongue. Don’t nag about issues or over-flogged things.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love, respect and honour my husband.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will teach you how to honour your husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 31:11 (KJV) The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to honour your husband.
A point of frustration could be deliberate or not. But if one is faced with the reality of your spouse frustrating you, what do you do?
Well, in this kind of situation, you just have to exercise patience. Have a lot of understanding and don’t react. Reacting will mean retaliating or giving it back to your spouse in the same coin or measure it is given to you.
If the frustration is as a result of some form of sickness or disease, you just have to pray to God for healing and the strength to bear your spouse’s burden.
You may be frustrated because you are not a patient person or because of temperamental differences, background differences or simply male – female differences.
If you are newly wedded, your frustration could be out of misunderstanding of the things you don’t like. Especially if you had a long distance courtship or relationship. The tendency is to want to either retaliate or withdraw from the source of your frustration or pain. Please don’t do this.
In marriage, you and your spouse are a team. United you stand and divided you fall. Know that whatever comes, you are still married and you intend to still remain married.
Let your point of frustration drive you positively to seeking help, change of character and into seeking God. You can start to pray for your spouse every day consciously. Lift your spouse up in prayer and it will be to your account.
When you are also at the point of frustration, don’t keep silent on each other and don’t seek friendship outside of the marriage. Some have done this and regretted their actions. This will only draw a big gap between the two of you. The more you grow apart, the more the gap grows and the more things get difficult.
Just know that marriage requires constant working at it. It requires daily commitment, communication and patience. There are times when all is well and rosy like heaven. There are other times when you just have to keep the flame ablaze and fan the flames.
The bottom line is, don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation. The frustration you are facing is only temporary. That phase will definitely fade away.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not frustrate my spouse. I am patient with him/her.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for grace to be patient with your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Genesis 2:24, KJV “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t give up on your marriage
Finally, we have come to the end of our discussion about love languages. Every husband should have been able to discover to a large extent what his wife’s love language is by now.
You must have discovered that the way you speak your wife’s language is by speaking her love language. It is the language she understands.
God is not an author of confusion, so God would have put on your inside the ability to speak this language which is your wife’s love language. How often you speak this love is how often your wife feel loved. The extent to which you stubbornly refuse to speak this love language is the extent to which your wife feels unloved. So if you want your wife to feel unloved, you can go ahead and not speak her language. But if you are tired of quarrels and you want to experience peace in your home and life, then you have to learn these love languages and speak them.
The five love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We are looking at the last love language which is:
5. Physical touch Here, the wife loves you to touch her. She feels connected to you when you touch affectionately. You must learn to hold her hands whether in public or in private.
Research has found out that there is a number of touches you give a woman daily and this will prolong her life span.
A husband who instead of touching his wife complains that she is immature is not being smart. He is only pulling trouble by the hands. Your touch must be meaningful. It does not have to be sexual, but meaningful.
Your touch must be special and mean more to your wife at all times. It must communicate love, tenderness, hope, appreciation, fondness, care, security, friendship, companionship, togetherness, spiritual covering, playfulness, thoughtfulness, blessing and all the good things you can think of.
Another aspect of physical touch is praying for your wife. Each husband must learn to hold hands with his wife and pray. There is the power of agreement when you hold hands and pray. He should also lay his hands on her head and proclaim and release blessing.
You have not touched your wife in days except when it comes to jeru trip, it does not work that way.You should be able to sit down side by side, hold hands and even kiss in public.
If your wife has her love tank filled up, she will not be tempted with looking elsewhere for love. This will eliminate to a large extent the problem of infidelity.
Satisfy your wife by speaking her love language to the best of your ability and stop complaining that she is difficult. No woman is difficult. Her love language is like her password. Once you know it and use it, you have her doing everything you want.
Love covers a multitude of sins. That means when you learn to speak your wife’s love language, that action covers up her sins even if they are many. You don’t have to see your wife’s sin, just focus on speaking her language.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am the most loving husband to my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, open thou the eyes of my understanding in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 4:11 Thy lips, O [my] spouse, drop [as] the honeycomb: honey and milk [are] under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments [is] like the smell of Lebanon.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Speak your wife’s love language
Yea, we aregetting close to the end of discussing love languages and I hope you are getting blessed. If you have questions you may ask and at the end of the topic we will try and answer them.
It bears repetition, that it is the husband’s responsibility to love his wife. God commanded the husband to love his wife. What God commanded the wife is to respect and honor her husband.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Maybe it is because naturally, a wife loves her husband. What is not natural is for a husband to love. Men find it more difficult to show or express love. Women find it easy to love but difficult to respect. So God says focus on what is unnatural with you to do and get better at it as I give you strength. It is not going to be easy but once you are prepared to love your wife and ask God for strength, He will give you.
Your wife will sense love when you speak any one of these love languages. There will be one or at most two of these languages that will readily resonate with your wife. Be very tactical in discovering which one it is and start speaking it.
Note, it is not that you cannot express love by using any one of these languages, but we are looking at the one that best describes your wife’s love language.
The 5 love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We will look at the next one.
4. Gifts
In this love language, you have to be a giver and enjoy it. If this is your wife’s primary love language. It is a love language for the giving husband or let’s say the thoughtful husband. Even though not all rich husband express their love in this way. It is advisable to show your wife love this way if you want her full cooperation.
Here, the gift does not have to be expensive. It just has to be a gift. A box of chocolate, a bar of candy, something for her hair, a roll-on, soap, perfume, earrings and the list goes on and on.
However, the gift needs to be thoughtful. Your wife can’t need a perfume and you buy her a knife. It is not just buying anything. There are appropriate gifts and inappropriate gifts. There are also gifts that speak volumes and the ones that are casual gifts. There are gifts that show your thoughtfulness and there are gifts that reveal your absent mindedness.
You should not buy your wife a gift and you buy a shoe three times short her size. You buy a winter jacket in summer. It has to be meaningful, useful and thoughtful.
If your wife’s love language is expressed by giving her gifts, then it has to be consistent. Buy her gifts regularly, not once in a blue moon. Don’t let her receive one gift now and have to pray in tongues for months before you buy her another. Let it be as consistent as it can be especially since it is not expensive. It is better not to be expensive but consistent than expensive but inconsistent.
Let her special days not end without you buying her a gift. Your gifts mean so much to her. Each time she uses it or sees them, she is happy to know that you bought them for her.When she thinks of how many gifts you have bought for her, let her feel grateful to God for you. Her love tank is full, knowing that you love her.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my wife consistently
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, empower me, to love my wife consistently.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:16 A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Buy a gift for your wife today
I am devoting a lot of time on these love languages because it is a key element in having a fulfilling marriage. Once you understand your spouse’s love language and the God factor is involved in your marriage, at least, a large percentage of understanding yourselves and loving yourselves is guaranteed.
When you understand your wife’s love language and endeavor to speak it, half of the marital issues are solved.
When you love your wife the way she wants to be loved, you will see a new radiance on her. Then she will blossom, she will be more responsive, more cooperative and supportive. She will have more energy and her creative juice will be more alive.
She will be happy and the home will be more calm and peaceful. Your wife will be that joyful wife you have always dreamt she will be. There will be unity among you and you will be able to fulfill God’s mandate of one chasing one hundred and two of you chasing ten thousand.
The 5 love languages are:
Words of affirmation
Quality time and Attention
Acts of Service
Gifts
Physical touch
Let’s look at another love language today.
3. Acts of Service This is a beautiful way of showing that you care and love your wife. But don’t try to speak this love language if this is not your wife’s love language. A wife may get irritated at your wanting to help her do her “duties”.
A wife may frown at the idea of her husband coming to the kitchen or cooking dinner. She may even put up a fight, saying that her husband thinks she is a lazy brat that cannot cook. She may even say her husband thinks her food is not sweet.
Any woman that feels that way, definitely her love language is not acts of service or maybe she prefers the acts of service in another way. You will know it is your wife’s love language when she demands that you help her do stuffs.
She will always call on you to help her do things, unlike the wife who has all the energy and will do everything so that even if you want to help, there is nothing to help with.
You communicate love to a wife whose love language is acts of service by doing things for her. You help her with dishes, the kids, laundry, throwing the trash, cleaning the house, cooking, packing her clothes and everything that she needs help for.
Here, the husband must enjoy helping her before she can sense love. If you are too busy, you have to employ people that can help her out. In her frustration, she may cry out that she is slaving herself for you.
Some wives are satisfied when you do things for them. They don’t even want gifts as such. Once you are doing things for her, she’s okay.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am becoming a loving husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, teach me to understand my wife.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25-26 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pay attention to loving your wife
We startedyesterday talking about how important it is for you to speak your wife’s language. I also stated that language here means your wife’s love language.
If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, I will implore you to go ahead and read it.
There are five basic love languages which are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time and Attention 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical Touch
We have looked at Words of affirmation. Let’s continue from where I stopped yesterday.
2. Quality time and Attention It is good to know that basically, it is the responsibility of the husband to learn his wife’s love language. It is God’s order in a marriage that the husband loves his wife while the wife respects and honors her husband.
It is not a case of “my wife is too demanding, she always wants me to speak her love language while she doesn’t attempt to speak mine.” Husbands must concentrate on loving your wife.
Quality time as it suggests means spending quality time with her. Here, quality time could mean different things to different women. To some, it could mean spending time with her when she is in the kitchen cooking, it could mean going on vacation together, having weekend trips, going to the movies, shopping, just spend time with her.
It means you are spending time and giving her attention. You let her know your plans, your whereabouts, investments, meetings, friends, and everything. You don’t keep secrets.
Your wife may be crying for your attention and you are busy working yourself out to stupor trying to provide for the family. She will not sense your love until you slow down and spend some time with her.
If you are a busy husband, schedule time consciously to be together. We had to plan that into our marriage. Call it me and you time. Let nothing interrupt this time. You may need to switch off your phone or do a get-away for two.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or far. If the children are still young, find a friend’s place you can keep them for a few hours to just go. Your wife will appreciate you more for your effort.
Many quarrels go on in marriage because we don’t know where to focus our resources and energy. Once you discover your wife’s love language, go ahead and start speaking it and improve on speaking it.
Your wife may be throwing tantrums just because she doesn’t feel your love. She feels your love when you speak her love language. She will adore you and respect you the moment she can sense your love.
Try and pay attention to her and seek to find out her love language. What does your wife complain about all the time? It is a clue to what her love language is. You may have to try different things before you finally discover which one it is.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have wisdom for my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find out what her love language is
I purposelydid not use the word ‘Love Language’ but used your wife’s ‘Language’ so that you can see the similarities. It is easier for us to relate to ‘your wife’s Language’ than it is to relate to love language.
Just as you can never think of marrying a wife who does not speak your language, it is ridiculous for you not to speak your wife’s love language.
Every woman has a love language. That love language is what she understands, is used to, and can relate to. In this language, she understands and can sense love.
Until you speak this language, she cannot sense or understand that you love her. It is like speaking Japanese to an English woman. It does not make any sense, and you sure are not making sense to her.
A woman knows that you love her when you communicate this love in a language that she understands. The problem is that most men are communicating this love to their wives in another language.
Note that there is something in every woman that craves being loved by her husband. Yes, she can be loved by her colleagues, friends, or siblings but there is something about the love of her husband. It may be because it is the way God ordered it from the beginning.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.
If husbands want to be found fulfilling their primary and basic role in the marriage covenant, it is good for each husband to learn to speak his wife’s language.
It makes a lot of sense if you at least become conversant with your wife’s language. It helps better communication in the marriage institution. Just like in our illustration of the English woman and the Japanese language speaking to her.
There are five basic love languages. We will look at each one so you can get a good understanding of each of them.
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Service
4. Gifts
5. Physical touch
All these love languages are to be understood if you want to love your wife on her own terms (in her own language) and not yours.
1. Words of affirmation.
If this is your wife’s love language, that just means that she likes to be spoken to. She may or may not be quiet, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that your words mean a lot to her. You have to be constantly speaking words of encouragement to her.
Appreciating her by commenting on her efforts, looks, achievements, and verbalizing your love must be regular.
She senses love when she’s been constantly spoken to. Her energy to move on comes by appreciating her and saying sweet words to her. When you don’t speak kind words to her, she doesn’t sense your love towards her as a husband. Your words must be kind.
If on the contrary, you speak harshly to her, she senses harshness rather than love and sensitivity.
We will continue tomorrow.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom in your marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find out what her love language is
Today, I wantto encourage us to keep on asking, keep on seeking and keep on knocking. Help is on the way, Help is closer than you think. Don’t give up on your spouse, don’t give up on your children. Help is on the way
Matt 7:9 says, ‘Ask and keep on asking and it shall be given you; seek and keep on seeking and you shall find, knock and keep on knocking and the door shall be opened to you’.
Keep on asking, seeking and knocking on a continual basis day in day out 365 days a year, so that we may keep receiving what we need.
How long do we stay awake all night wrestling with our issues and losing our sleep? Instead of simply casting our cares upon Him by asking Him and trusting Him.
Maybe your spouse has a weakness and you have talked to him/her about it for a long time and he doesn’t seem to listen.
Maybe your spouse even agrees to change but finds it difficult to change. Your children are wayward and they seem impossible.
You are having a difficult time maintaining a close, godly relationship with them. Just don’t give up or maintain the status quo.
You must know how to stay with what you want. Jesus already promised in His word that (Luke 11:13) …how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him”.
God wants us to trust Him with our request. He wants to see how much we trust Him and how much we can stay on what we want without shifting grounds.
You have to keep asking till your marriage becomes what you want it to be. You have to keep on knocking until your children become what they should be.
Never give up on God and this goes for everything. Never give up until you are rich, until you have your children, until you get that job.
God is committed until it is completed.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not give up
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord make right everything wrong in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 128:2 (KJV) For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
It’s a very nice thing when we receive answers to our prayers. This morning we’ll be looking at gow wives can get their prayers answered
Sometimes back, I just decided to take a day off work just to bond with my boo. It was so refreshing. We laughed, played, talked, ate, and all the rest (fill in the gap). It was very relaxing and pleasant.
We spent the whole day together. That’s our own ‘me and you’ time together. No kids. No worries and of course, no cooking. We just shut the world behind us and bonded.
It’s good if every spouse can do that regularly. Go to a resort center, go on vacation, or just check into a hotel.
My husband wrote on his timeline “How to get your prayers answered quickly – Take care of her. Please her. Be gentle with her. Honour her. Love her. Be faithful to her. Speak her love language. Keep her smiling. Be her personal comedian…and more! 1Pet. 3:7
How true this is. The way you treat your wife affects whether your prayer is answered or not. That means even God is interested in the way we treat our wives.
Take care of her. Please her. Be gentle with her. Honour her. Love her. Be faithful to her. Speak her love language. Keep her smiling. Be her personal comedian’. If all husbands can aim at doing all these, their prayers will never go unanswered.
Stop all the quarrels, the strife, stop shouting at each other. Calm down. Talk to your selves. Resolve your differences. Let your marriage work. Don’t insist on your own. A little compromise, a little tilt to accommodate her differences for the sake of working things out will not harm.
Swallow your pride. Be humble. Be accommodating. Submit to one another in the fear of the Lord. Stop any bad habits you carried over. Wives, don’t nag at your husband. Your marriage is a living entity. Grow your own marriage, don’t envy other people’s marriage.
Love your in-laws. Treat them like your own parents. Don’t overreact. Don’t get angry about every issue. Learn to control your moods. Be happy. Be responsive to your spouse.
Try and cope with your spouse during the rough and the tough times. Above all, pray to God. Ask for His help and be patient. Meditate on God’s word and things will work out beautifully well.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I treat my wife well. My prayers are answered.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to treat my wife well.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 119:30 (KJV) I have chosen the way of truth: thy judgments have I laid before me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find creative ways of treating your wife well.
