We started with this topic yesterday and I will be concluding on it today. I established yesterday that unity or being united has to do with being whole, being one and being together, speaking the same language, with the same voice for the purpose of achieving a common goal
Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. – 1Co 1:10
The issue of husband and wife being one is very crucial. The opposite of unity is division, seeing differently and having opposing viewpoints. With unity, we can build maximally and reach our highest potential as couples.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! – Ps 133:1
From the story of the Tower of Babel, we can see the power of unity and the power of disagreement.
Unity comes when we as couples are in agreement. This happens when we see ourselves with the eyes of the spirit, when we see ourselves the right way that we are in a covenant relationship, and that whatever we do affect our spouse and eventually the union and our progress.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
To understand and have a spiritual perspective of who we are, we must remain spiritual and make the Holy Spirit our friend. Marriage is spiritual and to make a success of it, we in turn have to be spiritual, and have guiding principles.
Never go to bed with an unresolved disagreement. When your spouse hurts you, don’t react, talk to the Holy Spirit first. That sounds hard or impossible, but it works. You have to practice it before you become perfect doing that.
Some benefits of being united, being in agreement and being as one are;
1. Unity brings progress
2. When you are in agreement, your prayers are answered.
3. Your voice will be as one in the spirit and you will command much respect. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven.
4. Unity brings prosperity
5. Unity brings peace
6. Unity enables you to achieve more.
7. Your results are exponentially multiplied.
8. You and your children are protected and preserved
9. The power of God dwells with you
10. There is God’s favor and blessings upon your home and in all you do, you prosper.
Make up your mind to never fight or be in disagreement with your spouse again. Accept the headship of your husband. Please him and do whatever he says. Be happy with him, honor him because the word of God says so and it will be well with you and your family. You will have rich rewards to show for it.
May God open our eyes and understanding in Jesus name, amen!
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
The Oxford dictionary of English words defines unity as the state of being united or joined as a whole. The state of forming a complete and harmonious whole, especially in an artistic context; A thing for a complete whole.
God is a God of unity. You can see the perfect unity in the Trinity; the three Godhead working together in perfect unity as one – God the father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, all working together as one, having the same voice, speaking the same language. They are one whole. That is why we say the three in one God.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
God the father, son and the Holy Spirit are different entities with different and distinct assignment, yet they are so much in unity.
That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. – Joh 17:21-23
God created husband and wife to be one
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one. – Gen 2:24
The original mandate in the heart of God concerning marriage is that they will be the example of the God head here on earth. They are to be one flesh even though they are different individuals with different ideologies, belief systems etc
May God help us that our oneness may be complete in Jesus name.
I will continue tomorrow.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
Here Is What It Takes To Build A Home. There is a popular scripture I love so much. It is in the book of proverbs
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. – Pro 14:1
From this scripture, it is seen that the building of homes is directly the responsibility of the woman. But not just any type of woman, the woman has to be wise. It takes wisdom to build.
So that means there is wisdom to build, and there is the foolishness that plucks down or tears down. How is this wisdom acquired? If it just read a woman, we will know that once you are born a female, then you automatically possess this wisdom to build.
That means there are some women who do not have the wisdom to build their marriages and homes. There are no two ways to do it. It is either you are building your home or you are tearing it down. There is no middle way to it.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
If you have wisdom, then you have it and if you don’t have it, you don’t have it.
The question we need to ask ourselves is; am I a wise woman?
The bible gave us the blueprint of asking for wisdom. We have a right to ask God for wisdom
My mentor told me how she will go about eating Suya and one day, a car almost hit her. The incident was reported to her husband who out of anger said she was behaving stupidly.
She felt slighted and offended. She talked to the Holy Spirit about the matter, and the Holy Spirit confirmed what her husband said. The Holy Spirit told her she is not only stupid but also foolish and not operating in wisdom. She was shocked at this and almost couldn’t believe her ears. She then decided to ask God for wisdom.
Until you consciously ask God for wisdom, don’t assume you have wisdom. Until you can say for sure when you were given wisdom by God, don’t assume you have wisdom.
My mentor prayed for wisdom for six months, every day for 3 hours. No wonder she had an encounter with the spirit of wisdom.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. – Jas 1:5
We have to ask and keep on asking. There are over 223 scriptures in the Bible where the word wisdom appears. We can take one aspect of wisdom and pray it into our life.
There are different aspects of wisdom. There is wisdom to deal wisely in the affairs of life. Wisdom is worth praying for because if you don’t have wisdom, you are left with foolishness, and foolishness tears down.
May we not out of foolishness, tear down that which we have built.
May God help us!
God bless our marriage in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me the wisdom to build my house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Pro 14:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be more committed in your marriage.
How To Break Persistent Yokes In Marriage. The Bible has a tremendous supply of solutions to everything we are going through! God is unfathomable!
One of such mysteries is that of first fruits! In the Singles Devotional for today, I laid some foundation of what this practice is and explained how you can break out of any cycle and yokes. You can read HERE
The reality is that there are five levels of prosperity and money is only one part!
Before you say, you are prosperous, these five levels must be present!
What does the scripture say about first fruits?
Pro 3:9 (AMPC) Honor the Lord with your capital and sufficiency [from righteous labors] and with the firstfruits of all your income;
So there is honor here, and your first fruit becomes a measure of your value to God in terms of its quality and quantity.
The Bible also clearly says you can enter into a covenant with God by your first fruits which should be a sacrifice.
Psa 50:5 (AMPC) Gather together to Me My saints [those who have found grace in My sight], those who have made a covenant with Me by sacrifice.
With your sacrifice or first fruits, you can enter into a covenant with God concerning how you want this year to be and also use the same to change a persistent cycle in your life and break into another.
Never give your first fruit carelessly! Give it with intense worship unto the Lord! The giving of Firstfruit Offering must be accompanied with worship
Deu 26:10 (AMPC) And now, behold, I bring the firstfruits of the ground which You, O Lord, have given me. And you shall set it down before the Lord your God and worship before the Lord your God;
Kindly take time and listen more to the Audio Messages (The Economy of Heaven And Your Prosperity Parts 1 & 2) I taught on this topic HERE. You will also be able to pray the prayers over your sacrifices.
Have a tremendous day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I break every cycle of lack and insufficiency
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding to see truths from your word that will set me free
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 3:9 (MSG) Honor GOD with everything you own; give him the first and the best.
Marriage is for the broken. I mean those who have mortified their flesh. Does it then mean that anybody that has not attained this level cannot marry? Of course not. They can marry but making a success out of the marriage is impossible.
The devil understands this and he is okay with it. He is even happy with the idea of immature people getting married, so far as they don’t get to fulfill God’s mandate and agenda.
They could even spend millions of Naira on the wedding, with an elaborate and classic wedding. What matters most is how the marriage is going. How much does the husband love his wife as Christ loved the church? How much does the wife submit to her own husband?
God has given both the wife and the husband specific roles and functions in the marriage. This role is an individual mandate that is not dependent on what the other partner does or doesn’t do.
For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. – Rom 8:13
The flesh has deeds or works.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. – Gal 5:19- 22
There is a kingdom of God to be inherited by us in our marriage but ‘Those who do entertain the works of the flesh cannot inherit the kingdom of God.
The mandate of marriage can only be carried out in the spirit. By those who have their flesh crucified and dead to sin.
And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. – Gal 5:24
In our marriage, we must see to it that our flesh dies daily. Every wife should study what the Bible says about submission and every husband study what it means to love.
Our flesh must be broken to allow the spirit of God to manifest.
I once lived in pity-party and was very stubborn in my disposition to my husband. I was just so fleshly. I yielded to the flesh without constraints and I entertained and embrace every negative thought that came to my mind. I went to see my mentor because I had come to my wit’s end. She told me, ‘be broken, and listen to your husband’. Those words set me free because they were the truth.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Husbands, be broken and love your wife. Love her and be tender-hearted towards her.
Why get married if the reason for being married is not fulfilled? Don’t waste heavens mandate! Jesus said we should occupy till he comes. We must make up our minds that our marriage will fulfill destiny and purpose.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, make me a broken spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be more committed in your marriage.
I have discovered that in our marriage relationship, we can not afford to go on the journey alone. There is such peculiarity in our marriage that it takes the Holy Spirit to help us.
The Holy Spirit is a person. He is real. He is alive and He dwells in us. It is amazing that we have so much help available in Him yet we seek help everywhere.
Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. – Joh 16:13
The Holy Spirit is the spirit of truth. He knows the real truth about every situation. He will not lie to us. Most of the time that we claim our spouses are too harsh on us, it is our flesh reacting. Our flesh wants to resist the truth.
I remember when my husband was correcting me and I felt bad about the correction. I even fasted telling God how wrong my husband was. I wanted God to correct him. It took the Holy Spirit to show me I was wrong. That I had to be broken and submissive to my husband.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
After that encounter, I was gentle and sober. I stopped all my ‘gragra’.
The Holy Spirit is so wonderful. He will keep you calm in situations where your flesh wants to be strong and stubborn.
Most of the issues in our marriages are opportunities for the Holy Spirit to manifest Himself, reveal and glorify Jesus.
The Holy Spirit will teach you how to react, when to say something, when not to talk. In short, He is the ‘olofofo’ of our marriage. He will tell you what your spouse is struggling with. Before a problem starts, he will tell you.
I remember several times the Holy Spirit will reveal to my husband things I’m going through. These are some of the benefits of being a believer. We are born again Christians, let’s make use of these fact.
Let’s develop a relationship with the spirit of Grace. The marital journey is not meant to be ran alone. The Holy Spirit is not a general spirit. He is a particular, specific and individual spirit. He addresses your situation personally.
No two marriages are exactly the same. It is the Holy Spirit that helps you interpret a general message to suit you and your marriage.
As an helper meet for your husband, you have to be strong and courageous. You need the Holy Spirit to be a good husband and take care of that woman. As a wife you need the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is a teacher. He will teach you all things. And you what, you can talk to him about anything and every thing, He will answer you. Learn to receive the helper made available for you.
Develop a thriving relation with Him today. God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The Holy Spirit is available for me
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, help my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask the Holy Spirit for help
We have been looking at this topic building to last in marriage for some time now and I will be taking the concluding part of the same topic.
I pray and sincerely hope this message will bring couples to ways they can discuss this together to find their own way of implementing the points. There may be ways based on their peculiar situation, they could adapt the points discussed here.
8. Never talk bad about your spouse to anybody
Respect the covenant between you. Let no one be able to come between you. Don’t betray trust. Defend each other. Don’t fight with each other but fight for each other. Don’t fight your spouse because of any other person. Don’t give any other person the privilege of being more special than your spouse. It will backfire. What is between the two of you cannot be compared with any other relationship.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
9. Love jeru trip
Enjoy Jerusalem trips. It is pleasure to both of you. Never get tired of each other. Give yourself to one another unhindered
10. Keep the word ‘divorce’ out of your dictionary
Remember your marriage vows. It is till death do us part. There are no problems without solutions. There are issues, challenges but there are ways of handling them. We may not be patient enough or seek God’s face enough to find a lasting solution. God has promised us a way of escape.
Jesus said in John 14:6, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life
Have a bulldog approach to your marriage. Whatever happens, God can restore and make all things new. That doesn’t mean staying in an abusive relationship and environment. Seek all the help you can get for your marriage to be better.
11. Understand each other’s love language
Your love language is like your native mother language, you are most comfortable speaking it and have a free flow with it. Just like you speak the language your spouse understands, you must be willing to learn and understand your spouse’s love language. Don’t insist on your own way of expressing love.
Try to please your spouse. Do whatever he/ she likes and best expresses that you love and care for him/her.
It is either it is gifts, words, touch, actions, or quality time. If it is words, learn to speak tender and kind words to your spouse. Don’t be harsh with your words. Don’t correctly sharply.
If gifts, surprise each other with gifts, do this frequently.
If actions, help to do the dishes, throw the garbage out, wash the car, etc, just offer to do something.
12. Spice up your marriage with little gestures.
Surprise each other with gifts, kisses, and sex. That shows you are thinking of your spouse. Let your spouse know that you are still in love with them.
Kiss passionately, hold hands, cuddle and show public display of affection. Look into each other’s eyes when talking. Be deeply concerned about each other. Look out for yourselves and ask whatever may be happening to your spouse emotionally, physically, or otherwise.
May God bless our marriage as we put these things into practice.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to trust my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to show genuine love to your spouse.
A lovely day it is to once again look into our topic, building a happy and lasting marriage.
It takes a conscious effort to build anything. Jesus showed us how to build. He says we must dig deep and lay the foundation on the rock, on solid principles that are void of sentiments. Build with godly principles that will outlive the test of time.
Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. – Luk 6:47- 48
5. Be polite to each other
This is very crucial if you must build a lasting marriage where both spouses are happy. Most of the time, the husband’s ego makes it difficult to be polite to his wife. He feels why should I say sorry, thank you, or please. If he says it at all, he does so once in a while.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
If the wife mentions it, he says ‘I am the husband’. In marriage, we don’t take each other for granted. Later than sooner, there will be reactions. Respect should be reciprocal.
6. Always listen attentively to your spouse.
Make it a habit to always listen when your spouse is talking. When the spouse senses that you are not listening, it gives a feeling he/she is not so important to you. You must make your spouse feel like they are the most important person in this world to you because really they are.
Stop looking at your phones, iPad, laptop or watching the news, or reading a book when your spouse is talking to you.
The best communication skill you can develop is listening. Be quiet and patient while your spouse is speaking and you can now express your opinion. Look straight into his/her eyes when he /she is talking to you. That will make them feel you are interested in what they have to say.
7. Communication
This is the key to your relationship. Talk like lovers and friends. Most couples have lost friendship and some were never friends. You need to make amends where necessary because you can’t build a lasting marriage where you are not each other’s friends.
Don’t grow apart. There should be no fear whatsoever in expressing yourself. Deal with the root of whatever is causing fear. Ask yourself; am I easy to talk with? Does my spouse find me easy to talk with? Don’t answer yourself, ask your spouse. Don’t let your spouse guess what you are thinking about.
I will stop here for now.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
We started this topic yesterday and we will continue today. Like I wrote before, I will take it slowly so that we can have ample time to discuss each point in-depth and we can meditatively make necessary adjustments in our marriage.
It is important that each husband and wife find time to discuss these practical steps. We have busy schedules but if we must build a happy and lasting marriage, we have to find the time. We find time for what is important.
Our marriage and family is the personal gift God has given us. He will ask us how we handled it and what we made out of it.
Let’s continue:
2. Be quick to forgive your spouse.
Marriage is two forgivers living together. Some spouses already have it in their mind some offense they can never forgive. Be quick to forgive and quick to apologize. Forgive and stop referring to past wrongdoings. Never go to bed angry or with unsettled quarrels because you have time to brood over it and the devil has the opportunity to magnify it. Love forgives. Learn to accept apologies.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Love the person you married.
This is as much an instruction to the husband as it is to the wife. You must love the person you married not the person you wished you married. This will eradicate all forms of the complaint. If you know you are married and as it were, you are stuck together for life, weakness, strength and all, instead of complaining and comparing your spouse, you will find a way to reach a compromise about each other weaknesses.
You cannot love the spouse you have not accepted. Love seeks to accept. Until you accept your spouse, you cannot get the best out of marriage. Accept each other but love each other enough not to leave him/her to minimize their weaknesses
4. Meet the needs of each other.
Be generous to your spouse and children. Let your spouse know you are on the top priority list after God the giver of life. Provide the needs of the children. Don’t spend money meant for the upkeep of the children. Your wife knows and is assured that you love her when you care for the children. There is a sense of security it gives her.
Provide for the needs of your wife. Your wife has a lot of needs. Be concerned about her needs. Spend to beautify her. Don’t hoard money from your wife. Discuss budget, savings and be as plain as you can be about money
God bless our marriage
May God grant us grace to do these things we are learning.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
I will be taking us on a series and I believe it will help our marriages. The points I will be sharing with us are from a Whatsapp post. I will not just be giving us points but will be taking out time to discuss the points and how it affects our marriage.
If you can also discuss these points with your spouse or in a small group as we do on KHC women whatsapp group, it will be more effective.
Why do we have to build a happy and lasting Marriage? Because like any institution, marriage has the capacity to become old and obsolete. It is our responsibility to build into our marriage values that will keep it renewed.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Like a machine, it has to be greased, oiled, serviced and its parts replaced or repaired. In marriage, no one knows it all. When the husband begins to think he is right all of the time and cannot be wrong, trouble is brewing.
We want to be sure the ingredients we are using to build our marriage can stand the test of time. We need to raise a standard of the blood of Jesus against all that is militating against our marriage, especially in this end times.
There are specific wisdom needed to build our homes and marriages which does not answer to the wisdom we have in business or in nation building or in leadership, although some principles do apply.
Let’s go into the points.
1. Understand each other.
This is huge in any marriage that will succeed and will last. It will be pride for a husband and wife to think that they know or fully understand their spouse.
Understanding your spouse is what you will never graduate from. Both spouses must be willing and ready to keep on understanding each other.
You are different and may never be the same forever. Respect the fact that you are individuals with strengths and weaknesses.
The marriage is as strong as you strengthen each other’s weaknesses when you respond and not react to each other.
Marriage is like the jigsaw puzzle, the puzzles are never the same but fit perfectly to form a beautiful picture which individually can never be formed.
I will stop here today. May God build with us and help us build lasting marriages in Jesus name. God bless our marriage
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word trust is defined as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.
Relationships have to be built on trust.
The very core, basis, and foundation of the marriage covenant is trust. Once the trust is ruptured, there is virtually nothing that can be done or said.
If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? – Psa 11:3
Once trust is broken for whatever reason, what is left is suspicion. Suspicion in marriage is so dangerous. It leaves either of the parties a victim in his/her own matrimonial home.
To be suspicious is, ‘causing one to have the idea or impression that someone or something is questionable, dishonest or dangerous.’
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
A marriage covenant is an oath or pledge between the couples to protect each other, help each other, defend each other, fight for each other, stand by each other, and much more.
In a covenant, the husband and wife are pledging to each other that your strength becomes my strength and your weaknesses become my weaknesses. I fight to defend your cause and I fight against your enemies. Your enemies are my enemies and your friends my friends.
Little wonder when God was cutting a covenant with Abraham he said
And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed. – Gen 12:3
When there is suspicion, the very foundation for the marriage covenant is broken.
When a husband or wife fails to trust his spouse, he may also have trust issues with God.
Lack of trust may be borne out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of losing your spouse, fear of infidelity, insecurities,
Another reason why suspicion is dangerous is that according to Job, what you fear, your open the door for the enemy to afflict. You literally open up your marriage to be oppressed by the devil.
For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. – Job 3:25
Another basis for suspicion is a lack of genuine love and forgiveness. When you find it difficult to forgive whole-heartedly. You hold on to the past and make that the basis of your conduct in marriage.
To enjoy your marriage and to experience your strengths being multiplied, you need to trust one another and lift up each other in prayers.
It is my prayer that the Lord help us all to uproot seeds of suspicion in our marriages.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I trust my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to trust my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to show genuine love to your spouse.
There are some things every couple must not joke with in the marriage. They must constantly ensure these things are present in their marriage no matter what happens.
Marriage is for two mature people that are whole. Each person brings his or her wholeness to the marriage to form a whole marriage.
In the natural, it is half plus half that makes whole but in a godly marriage, the equation is different. It is whole plus whole that makes one or whole. In fact, it is whole plus whole plus God that makes a whole entity in marriage.
So let’s look into these few things.
1. Agreement
Do two walk together except they make an appointment and have agreed? – Amo 3:3
There must be an agreement between the couple. They must ensure they always come to a place of agreement. It takes a lot of maturity, respect, and understanding to do that.
I remember when my husband first told me we will be praying online every day 5:30 am to 6:00 am. On that first morning, my body wanted to resist. I had to put my body under and be in agreement for us to do the will of God. And now my body clock has adjusted.
In such a way, we must be in agreement so we can achieve great feats in our lives.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
2. Effective Communication
Your relationship started in the first place because you were able to effectively communicate to your lady that you love her and that you want her to marry you. You made your intentions known to her.
This communication must be an essential tool throughout your marriage and you must be skillful in using it.
Both men and women need to be skillful in communicating. Timing is also important in communication. There are certain times to say certain things. There is the best time when your husband will listen to what you have to say.
There is also the ‘how’, talking about the presentation of what you have to say. There is always a better way to arrange your points, especially if your husband is pretty smart, intelligent, and not too patient. You want to present the most important issues first and sandwich it with accolades.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am in agreement with my spouse in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
I promised to write on the topic “How To Handle A Choleric Wife” especially to help young couples understand themselves and know why their wives act the way she does.
She is not just intentionally bossy, she has an inborn ability to want to lead. She means no harm when she wants to take charge and be in control.
If you have choleric for a wife, you are blessed but only if you know how to manage her well. She will handle things well and you can go to bed if you put her in charge of anything.
The choleric temperament is often tempered with some other secondary temperaments, making the choleric a little subdued.
Here are some of her other strengths and weaknesses and you can best deal with her.
Remember, in marriage, we all make adjustments and we deal with each other according to knowledge.
1. She is energetic, an extrovert, and a goal-getter.
She is never laid back, always in the forefront wherever she is. Her extrovertish nature makes her loud. She always wants to achieve something worthwhile.
Don’t try to keep her down. Try to harness her energy into something the family will benefit from. Celebrate her achievements and praise her for a job well done.
2. She could be inconsiderate, selfish and sharp-tongued
These are some of the weaknesses of the choleric temperament. Rather than being meek and calm, considerate and thoughtful, she is all out to achieve her goals and will do anything or step on any toe on her way. Her sharp tongue is needed to achieve.
Rather than fight her when she is inconsiderate and sharp-tongued, correct her by showing her it is wrong.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Her being extrovert makes her have a lot of friends
She has no secrets and will often bear her heart out to friends. She may talk about her husband, their sex life, and anything that can be said to her friends, mother, sisters and anybody that hat cares to listen.
Don’t rebuke her too harshly. Some of her friends can actually be of help later in the future.
Teach her the dangers of having too many friends and not holding some information. We are meant to make the Holy Spirit our best friend.
4. She finds it difficult to submit
People who have lived with choleric ladies know that a choleric does not submit to anyone except maybe the person she respects greatly
5. She is opinionated
She has to be heard. She states her case intelligently and wants to win the argument all of the time. She wants people to do her bindings. If possible, she would conquer her husband and make him submit to her.
She knows how to talk and may be over-confident, which makes her husband uncomfortable.
You have to teach her from the Bible that every wife that must successfully live with her husband must make her husband feel secured
I will stop here today.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my wife in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my wife in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
This is not an absolute and ‘one answer fits all’ situation approach. There is always an exception to the rule. That is why the best thing that can happen to any married couple is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to be a child of God, and to walk with God and know His voice.
It is a privilege to have access to the wisdom of God and He can always tell you what to do in your own peculiar circumstances.
I have witnessed the Holy Spirit help me through certain difficult times in my marriage and I am so grateful for those times.
We are talking about husbands and I believe by God’s Grace, I will also write about the wives.
We have four basic temperaments and other temperament blends. We also have modifications of our temperaments based on different factors such as our background, the environment we were raised in, our parents, their beliefs, exposure, the schools we attended, our religious beliefs, circumstances surrounding our childhood, childhood experiences, etc.
Now, you have to understand who you have married. Without understanding, you cannot be an effective helpmeet, and then it’s impossible for you to submit.
These are some qualities of a choleric husband and how to live with him based on knowledge.
1. A choleric is goal-oriented
That means he lives for achievement. He must achieve something. It is not impossible he cancels luxury at home just to cater for his goals.
Join him in whatever he wants to achieve and support him all the way. Encourage him. Don’t fight him or his goals. A choleric fight to finish and makes it a goal to accomplish.
2. A choleric is an obstacle crusher
A choleric crushes whatever is on his way to achieving that goal. Join him don’t criticize him.
3. A choleric is sharped tongued
It is not impossible he is seen verbally abusing his wife and lashing at her. Gently correct him when the event has passed.
4. He is egocentric
Don’t touch the ego. Help massage it especially in the way you talk. Talk to him in a soft tone and he will listen.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. A choleric maybe inconsiderate and selfish or self-centered
Whenever he is like this, point his attention to what he is doing.
6. He may defer helping
He may not help out in his wife’s project if it is not his project
Make sure you are not offended. Stand your ground but please be open.
7. A choleric husband makes coarse jokes or comments.
Guide against being offended. Be mature and don’t let his sarcasm get at you. Bear your mind out not in a fight but in honest conversation, maybe later, so that he won’t see you as contesting his ‘simple’ joke.
8. He wants to be in control and he is authoritative
See the good part of this. See it as being a strong leader and celebrate that he is being a man.
Don’t become a jelly under his authority. Enjoy him leading you. You don’t want to be in a position where the wife takes decisions.
There are more, but basically, you handle being married to a choleric husband not by being hurt, in strife, contention, or bitterness, you handle this by being honest and sincere with the way you feel.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus’ name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
We need to continually remind ourselves that life as married couples require a lot of hard work. We need to always make efforts to be whatever is needed in our marriage to be a better spouse
We must all be ready to make sacrifices. Selfishness cannot be tolerated in marriage. Never can superiority complex whether spiritual, financial, societal, intellectual and any form of superiority complex for that matter be tolerated.
Now that you are married, some attitudes must be knocked out of our lives.
Here are five things to never consider. They are no-go areas, all things being equal.
1. Never make your spouse feel intimidated.
Some people are fond of intimidating their partners. They feel to lead, it has to be by force or by coarseness. It is a partnership, not a boss servant relationship. No one is superior or inferior. The husband is the head but that doesn’t mean he is superior.
2. Never cheat on your spouse
Infidelity comes at a high price. It usually costs so much when you are involved in extramarital. The cost of broken trust is very high you don’t want to meddle with it. No matter how much the temptation, it is not worth it.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Never deny your spouse jeru trip
This goes for both husband and wife. Denying your spouse also means not being patient enough and not doing enough foreplay for especially the wife to climax and enjoy it. Don’t deny your spouse the enjoyment God indented in Jerusalem trip. Explore different styles. Proper hygiene is also important. Be considerate of your partner and help out with the kids and some house chores if you must enjoy a pleasurable trip at night.
4. Never keep a secret from your spouse
Well, it is possible you keep certain sensitive issues from your spouse for better timing. But please no secrets. Don’t keep your past a secret from your spouse, no matter how terrible it is. Of cause, wisdom is necessary here.
Don’t keep friends you share secrets and keep secrets for each other.
5. Never shut your spouse up
If you continually shut your spouse, the day you need him/her to make an input or contribution on a matter, he/she will not have confidence. Accord every opinion, suggestion with respect. Learn to listen as there may be wisdom in it. After all, God gave you your spouse to make your lives together better.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am naked and not ashamed with my spouse in all things.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask the Lord to teach you how to be a better spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Practice the above principles.
This is the concluding part of the series. Let’s go further as we unravel the mystery behind having a model marriage.
3. Be submissive
Hmmm ….here we go again. Must we always be submissive and must we always talk about this?
Yes o, my dear sister. We got to emphasize it because that is the way things in the marriage will work. That’s how God ordained it and it cannot be reversed. So darling, just align yourself to it.
Anything that has two heads is a monster. So someone has to be the head and that is your husband. Allow him to be the head. Relinquish the right to lead you to him. Let him have the baton. That’s how you have a model marriage
You too have ideas, your ideas can only work when you put them under his leadership. Submission is ‘mission under’, put your own mission under his.
Don’t give your head a headache or migraine. If he has a headache, he won’t be able to do what he should do. If the head is good, the body enjoys it.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
4. Be his friend
I know it may be a little difficult. For some ladies that were not really friends in courtship or were friends but life happens and it seems the friendship is going down the drain.
Listen, you can develop friendship again. You are in a life-long relationship and you don’t want to spend it with an unfamiliar person. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life being stuck with someone not your friend. Your journey together is much easier and more fun if it is spent with a friend.
5. Be a helper of his destiny
What is his destiny and purpose? Where is he going? To be his helper of destiny, you have to understand his destiny and how to come in at every different season of his life to help him. He will go far with your help.
There is no king without a kingdom. A king cannot do everything by himself. By his position, a king must be helped for the throne to be established. The more subjects the king has, the more his kingdom is established.
What makes a king different from another? They all occupy thrones, but the more those who are helping him, the greater. And his wife should be the number one helper.
We are the queens. Have you seen a king without a queen? He is just not complete. Be that queen you were created to be and the Lord will help us to have a model marriage.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Ti 2:1 I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
We started this topic yesterday. Let’s go further as we unravel the mystery behind having a model marriage.
1. Be supportive
The role of the wife is that of support. Support in what? Support in whatever and everything your husband is doing? In the small things as well as the big things, serious or not so serious things, relevant or not so relevant things.
It is difficult to say what is relevant to him or not because women and men are wired differently. That is why you need to make up your mind to be supportive in all areas.
This cannot be overemphasized. Our role is that of support. As a wife, you have to learn it, pray it into your life and ask for Grace to be a supportive wife.
You can give your support in very numerous ways. Be observant and sensitive you will know where to support your husband.
You may also have to ask him from time to time, how you can support him now because seasons in marriage change. So don’t be rigid. Support him with your finances. Don’t detach your support from your finances.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
2. Be prayerful
As a wife, if you don’t pray for your husband, who or what do you then pray for? We should be praying for our husbands daily as top priority.
And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation. And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. – Luk 22: 40, 46
When you pray, you guide yourself from entering into unnecessary temptations. If your husband is anointed, he needs prayers. If he is not so anointed, he needs prayers. Whichever way you want to look at it, he just needs prayers.
He needs prayers to take the right decisions. He also has authority over you.
I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. – 1Ti 2:1-2
When we pray for our husbands, we are also praying for ourselves because only then can we live a peaceable and quiet life.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a supportive and praying wife.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do all that is needed to have a model marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Luk 22:46 And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
I almost can hear someone say, ‘can one really have a model marriage?’ My answer is an absolutely yes. You can have a model marriage, but you have to be willing to work at it. Marriage is work, but God promised that our labor of love will be rewarded.
The work requires the input of both the husband and the wife. It is not supposed to be the sole responsibility of one spouse to do all the laboring. Both should labour for the marriage but in different aspect of the marriage.
Marriage requires hard work, commitment, sacrifice and like someone puts it, you have an appointment with 4 things,
1. Appointment with losing
2. Appointment with dying
3. Appointment with sacrifice
4. Appointment with suffering
All these look negative but in reality, they are just God’s way of developing our faith muscle and causing us to die to the flesh.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
It is not only women who need to lose, die, sacrifice and suffer, but both the husband as well as the wife.
A wife loses her life just to care for her children. So it’s not really losing, dying, sacrificing in terms of punishment but to gain something higher and worthwhile.
So also, you have to die to your own convenient ways or your opinions if things will work out In the marriage.
Tomorrow, I will point out some things the wives can do to have a model marriage.
God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be a supportive spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:22 For wives, this means being supportive to your husbands like you are tenderly devoted to our Lord.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
There is tremendous power available when we as couples live in agreement. Agreement does not mean we are the same or have the same opinion.
Husbands and wives are by design different because their roles and assignments in the marriage are different.
To enjoy a wonderful marriage where both are in sync, the husband and wife must understand this perspective. The devil understands this and that is why he fights our agreement all the time.
Again I tell you, if two of you on earth agree (harmonize together, make a symphony together) about whatever [anything and everything] they may ask, it will come to pass and be done for them by My Father in heaven. – Mat 18:19
The Bible emphasizes this truth. Couples should have a vision or goals for their family. They should make up their minds right from the onset of the marriage that it’s a No, No to divorce, they will try and communicate their needs to each other, forgiveness will be a priority and they will support one another.
You may not agree on trivial things but they must ensure they are in agreement on some core values. Unity is very important in marriage. In fact, the essence of marriage is for husband and wife to be in unity so that their strength can be multiplied.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
God Himself promised to be in their midst.
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. – Mat 18:20
The power of God flows in a marriage where there is unity and agreement, where the husband loves the wife and the wife is submissive to the husband. They move forward and are able to fulfill their dreams and accomplish great feats just as God ordain it.
When the wife gives her full support to whatever the husband is doing, knowing that if he succeeds they succeed together.
It is high time husbands and wives everywhere begin to see what the devil is doing and wants to do and shut the door against division and disunity in their home.
Their focus and aim should be to always line up in agreement with each other, to be each other’s greatest fan.
Wives, even if you don’t understand him, (as you will not most of the time), you should still give your support as an act of obedience to God and then allow God do the rest. Your position as a wife is not to tackle him, but to support him.
The instance you may not support him will be if it is a direct violation of God’s commandments.
May God help us all in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY We seek to be in agreement always.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be constantly in agreement with my spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 18:19 Again I tell you, if two of you on earth agree (harmonize together, make a symphony together) about whatever [anything and everything] they may ask, it will come to pass and be done for them by My Father in heaven.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be in agreement with your spouse, that is what makes you one flesh.
Husbands, by the position of headship they occupy determine to a large extent what happens in a marriage. They provide leadership for the marriage and dictate the direction the marriage goes. The husband should be responsible for charting the vision for the family.
In carrying out his task, there are certain things he should not engage in.
1. Don’t frustrate your wife.
You frustrate your wife when you don’t appreciate her efforts. A woman by default does a lot in terms of taking care of the home and the family. So if there is one thing the husband should do, it is constantly appreciating his wife.
2. Don’t keep secrets from your wife.
A lot of wives are really hurt over their husband not talking to them as a friend. It is very disheartening to know that your husband has secrets he is keeping from you. Some husband’s make certain amounts of money they don’t declare to their wives. Some have affairs and even have children from other women and their wives got to discover under unpleasant situations.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Don’t cheat on your wife
Adultery and infidelity is the number one cause of separation and divorce in marriage. Do everything you have to do to avoid having an affair. When you cheat on your wife, you come against the covenant that bind you together and God is not pleased. You open the door for the devil to afflict the family and the children are exposed to all sort of negative things.
4. Don’t be a Boss in your marriage
When the husband takes the route of being the boss in the marriage, things will not work out the way they are meant to be. The wife is an help meet to the husband, but you forfeit her help when you treat her like you are her boss. It is a mutual relationship and the husband is meant to be a servant leader.
5. Don’t ‘shut down’ your wife
Your wife should never be shut down. Her opinions, view points and ideas should never be laid aside as irrelevant and stupid. The husband should recognize the fact that his wife is a gift from God to help, support and assist. Even if you are of different opinions, learn to respect your wife’s opinion and treat her suggestions as valuable even if you won’t be using her ideas.
God bless our marriages
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I don’t frustrate, keep secrets, cheat, shut down my wife.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a servant leader
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start practicing these things.
