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How To Handle A Choleric Husband

This is not an absolute and ‘one answer fits all’ situation approach. There is always an exception to the rule. That is why the best thing that can happen to any married couple is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to be a child of God, and to walk with God and know His voice.

It is a privilege to have access to the wisdom of God and He can always tell you what to do in your own peculiar circumstances.

I have witnessed the Holy Spirit help me through certain difficult times in my marriage and I am so grateful for those times.

We are talking about husbands and I believe by God’s Grace, I will also write about the wives.

We have four basic temperaments and other temperament blends. We also have modifications of our temperaments based on different factors such as our background, the environment we were raised in, our parents, their beliefs, exposure, the schools we attended, our religious beliefs, circumstances surrounding our childhood, childhood experiences, etc.

Now, you have to understand who you have married. Without understanding, you cannot be an effective helpmeet, and then it’s impossible for you to submit.

These are some qualities of a choleric husband and how to live with him based on knowledge.

1. A choleric is goal-oriented

That means he lives for achievement. He must achieve something. It is not impossible he cancels luxury at home just to cater for his goals.

Join him in whatever he wants to achieve and support him all the way. Encourage him. Don’t fight him or his goals. A choleric fight to finish and makes it a goal to accomplish.

2. A choleric is an obstacle crusher

A choleric crushes whatever is on his way to achieving that goal. Join him don’t criticize him.

3. A choleric is sharped tongued

It is not impossible he is seen verbally abusing his wife and lashing at her. Gently correct him when the event has passed.

4. He is egocentric

Don’t touch the ego. Help massage it especially in the way you talk. Talk to him in a soft tone and he will listen.

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5. A choleric maybe inconsiderate and selfish or self-centered

Whenever he is like this, point his attention to what he is doing.

6. He may defer helping

He may not help out in his wife’s project if it is not his project

Make sure you are not offended. Stand your ground but please be open.

7.  A choleric husband makes coarse jokes or comments.

Guide against being offended. Be mature and don’t let his sarcasm get at you. Bear your mind out not in a fight but in honest conversation, maybe later, so that he won’t see you as contesting his ‘simple’ joke.

8. He wants to be in control and he is authoritative

See the good part of this. See it as being a strong leader and celebrate that he is being a man.

Don’t become a jelly under his authority. Enjoy him leading you. You don’t want to be in a position where the wife takes decisions.

There are more, but basically, you handle being married to a choleric husband not by being hurt, in strife, contention, or bitterness, you handle this by being honest and sincere with the way you feel.

God bless our marriages.

I am supportive of my husband in all areas.

Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus’ name.

I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1

Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.

1Tim 2


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