Dealing With Devices in Marriage. George, a married man, traveled from work and lodged in a hotel, and then a beautiful lady, Sally lodged beside his room. In no time, they became friends and in a matter of minutes, she is already in his room chatting away. It looked like they’d known each other for ages. It is not because George or Sally is friendly, it is simply a DEVICE to draw them into a compromise, even though it all looked innocent.
Over the years, phone designs and models have evolved and what we have now are beyond phones, they are more rightly called DEVICES. These are multi-functional gadgets that can play multiple roles at the same time.
So we can begin to understand what the Bible means when it says:
“Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his DEVICES.” 2 Corinthians 2:11, KJV
We should not be ignorant of the DEVICES of the devil. What can we learn about the devices of the devil?
1. A device goes through a process before its release.
A device doesn’t just come out, it is something that is conceptualized as an idea, then documented, and then goes through plans and processes before it eventually comes out.
In the same way, we need to understand that the devil sits down to plan its attacks. He makes plans and finds ways to execute plans. That is why the scripture calls it a device. It is something that is packaged from hell to destabilize you. You should not be ignorant about it. You should not be oblivious to it.
2. A device has a target market
A device is not just released haphazardly. It is always targeted. In the same way, the devices of the devil are targeted at you. They are deliberately designed with you in mind. You must never let down your guard. Otherwise, before you know it, you may be compromising heavily despite the fact that you are born again, Spirit-filled and tongue-talking.
3. A device is designed to taste
Do you know you have a device weakness? It may be Samsung, Techno, or Apple device. There is always a device specification that resonates with you. In the same way, there is a device that the devil sits down to design to feed your weakness. That is why the Bible says:
“But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.” (James 1:14, KJV)
For some, they must not see a light-complexioned lady, for some, it is the other way around. For some, their knees weaken when they see a busty lady. Some ladies, get melted when they see a tall, hunky gentleman who is easygoing. The list goes on, but you know within yourself what your weakness can be.
So what do you do? You guard yourself against your weakness. You don’t feed your weakness. You know you must not behold the green bottle, yet you followed your friend to the club? You just shot yourself in the leg. You know your temperature rises when you see a light-complexioned lady and yet they brought a tall, light-complexioned lady to you from the village as house help, you said it is okay? You are setting up yourself for a downfall that way!
You know as a lady if you spend time with a man who “toasts” you for hours, showers you with gifts, and so on, you cannot say No, and yet you followed that man on a shopping spree when you know he is already married? That’s like carrying fire in your bosom!
4. A device is never forced on you
Finally, a device cannot be forced on you. You have to decide to buy it. In the same way, the devil cannot impose anything on you, you have to patronize him to buy into his traps. What do you do?
Guard yourself. Pray a lot. Be vigilant, be sober, be alert, and be alive in Christ. Don’t go and spend the night with the one you are not married to. Don’t fly to Dubai with a person who is not your spouse. That is not God’s favor working for you, that is a device trying to trap you.
Do you know the scripture says favour can be deceitful? Before you jump and conclude it is God’s favor, the question is if a compromise is involved. Is your conscience violated? If that is the case, it is not favor, it is set up against your destiny.
A person who doesn’t want to be ignorant stays informed. Stay informed by reading and studying God’s word regularly!
I pray for you this morning that God will indeed send help your way in Jesus’ name and help you to confront and overcome that device of the evil one.
Those Who Do You Wrong. Sally has been deeply hurt! Thinking she would soon be the enviable bride, she was dropped like hot potatoes! She landed badly and bitter! Her expectations were crushed, and she felt like life should just end. Life became boring, she became depressed and despondent and in her bitterness, she began to plot how to deal with her offenders. In this state of mind, she wondered why things even got worse for her. What was she supposed to do?
Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works: (2 Timothy 4:14 KJV)
Those Who Do You Wrong. Paul had a real opportunity to be bitter judging from the tone of his words. He was genuinely hurt. Whatever Alexander did must have really got to him. Like you and I, Paul was human, and he was seriously hurt here.
The Amplified Version puts it this way:
“Alexander the coppersmith did me great wrongs. The Lord will pay him back for his actions.” (2 Timothy 4:14, AMP)
In life, you will meet the Alexanders! You will meet Those Who Do You Wrong. There will be trusted people that will disappoint you in big ways.
In fact, it is possible you have already met several Alexanders. From jilting experiences that got you jolted, from betrayals that got you crucified, from the disappointment of promises that got you depressed, from lies and intrigues that got you livid, the list goes on and on. Everybody has a share of being let down one way or the other, and it can really be painful when it has to do with relationships or marriage.
Pastors are not left out when their trusted allies back out from them when they couldn’t have their way. Several people, you have trusted when in the real sense, they have vagabond spirits, moving from one church to another, searching for clout and control, and never settled in a place. Such men will leave you in the cold thinking their leaving will deal a lethal blow to the system. As Pastors, resist the temptation to hit back on the pulpit!
Those kinds of hurts and bitterness are deep-seated, almost breathing within and giving direction to all your actions if you are not careful.
What do you do to Those Who Do You Wrong? What do we do when we are in this state of mind? It is not a good place to be at all. If you were given a gun, you could shoot the person involved if you go by the flesh.
We must learn from Apostle Paul. No doubt he was hurt, but he made a powerful statement:
“…the Lord reward him according to his work!”
This is what we must do. Don’t bother to try and fight back in your own way, because you might end up fighting dirty. Learn to commit the situation into God’s hands as Apostle Paul did.
Do you know why you need to do this?
You need to let go so that the wicked and careless actions of those who betray and disappoint you will not end up immobilizing you! What do I mean? You see, when you hold people in an unforgiving spirit, it will slow you down. It will hinder your prayers. It will turn you into a bitter person and it will affect your productivity, even at workplace.
You need to let go. It could be childhood abuse, it could be rape, it could be lies and betrayals, it could be unfaithfulness, whatever it is, give it back to God and let God compensate you for every trouble and heartache you went through. God who knows the intent of men, who knows the motives will appropriately reward those who deal wrongly with you! Let them scheme against you, let them plot ways to bring you down, let them devise how to slow down your work, let them do all they know to do, but don’t fight back!
Forgive and forget and get healed. Don’t let that past event tamper with your present. Get healed from the past so that you can move on. It might even be that you are the one that hurt somebody else. Go to God and make your way right. Desist from such actions and God will give you a new beginning. God knows how to reward Those Who Do You Wrong
I pray for you this morning, may God compensate you for every trouble you went through. I pray for healing in your soul and I ask that God will indeed lift up your head in Jesus’ name!
These Three Are Needed! Hear this, the people you admire and you often envy are not really favoured more than you, they simply know what you don’t know.
As a single or married couple, there are three things you should pray into your life daily. They are not exhaustive, but these three things will almost take care of every aspect of your life.
What a man knows can be very powerful. That is why the scripture says that: “A wise man is strong; yea, a man of KNOWLEDGE increaseth strength.” (Pro 24:5, KJV)
There is something about God’s help in your endeavours. It will just simplify everything. Much of what I have enjoyed in my marriage is what I call God’s help.
I want to release that which we have upon this ministry to come to bear upon your life. I read from my Bible that grace and enablement can be transferred. I want to do that this morning. I have always told you, that my wife was the first and the last person I asked out. I was twenty-seven when we married and she was twenty-four. We’ve had our share of challenges, but God has always helped us all the way. The grace that works upon our lives and upon this ministry, I want to pray it over you today.
There are three things you should always pray into your life daily. Mention them and pray in the Spirit about them. Here they are:
These Three Are Needed!
1. Ask for Direction
There is nothing as valuable as knowing where to go. That is why men have created maps and compasses. That is why we have GPS. That is why there is Google Earth. Very powerful.
There is nothing as frustrating as traveling in the wrong direction! There is nothing as heartbreaking as loving the person that will never marry you. There is nothing as nauseating as walking down the aisle and walking up and out of the same aisle a few months after!
After praying this into your life, what do you need to do?
“In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will DIRECT and make straight and plain your paths.” (Proverbs 3:6, AMP)
These Three Are Needed! The second thing is to
2. Ask for Wisdom
No wonder Paul said:
“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory may give unto you the spirit of WISDOM and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,” (Ephesians 1:17-18, KJV)
After knowing the direction and the way to go, then you need wisdom in your journey. It is not enough to fall in love with the right person, you need the wisdom to handle yourself and your loved one especially when it comes to behavioural tendencies and temperaments.
That a relationship is God’s will doesn’t mean it can not crash. If you don’t walk in wisdom, it will collapse like a pack of cards and yet it is God’s will. Always ask for wisdom before beginning a relationship, during courtship, and in marriage.
These Three Are Needed! Finally, you need to always
3. Ask for Strength
That is why Paul prayed like this here:
“That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be STRENGTHENED with might by his Spirit in the inner man;” (Ephesians 3:16, KJV)
You have direction, you have wisdom and now you need the strength to pull through in the face of challenges. You need strength to obey God. You need strength to be able to say “NO” to man and say “YES” only to God. You need strength to refuse compromise like Joseph. These Three Are Needed!
Now I pray for you this morning, from the depths of my heart, with the strength of my call, that from today:
Confusion will not be your portion.
If indeed God has called me and anointed me in this area of ministry, I enter the fullness of my calling this morning, I terminate every operation of diabolical spirits in your life in Jesus’ name.
I have seen impossible cases dissolved by God’s power, this morning, I release God’s power to dissolve that impossible puzzle in your life in Jesus’ name.
I speak with unction into the lives of those caught in the bond of iniquity, I curse the spirit behind pornography, masturbation, adultery, homosexuality, lesbianism, and every other form of sexual perversion, I bind that strong man of infirmity in your life right now in Jesus name.
I speak forth abundance into your lives today. I release God’s help into the very areas where you need it in Jesus’ name. You will not struggle to settle down! God will help you!
I put a stop to every infirmity, I speak healing unto your bodies. The grace that rests upon me and upon this ministry, I release unto you this day in Jesus’ name! I declare that the light shines over you in relationship and marriage, and every darkness flees. Thank you, Lord Jesus! I await your beautiful testimonies! Amen!
You can’t fix yourself in your own way with your own methods.
You’ve been offered a divine invitation! Respond to it!
Mat 11:28 (KJV) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Sleeping around and giving yourself to men will not help your self-esteem, it will actually erode it more. Drinking and smoking will not fix your inner struggle, only Jesus would!
Partying, wild living, and careless friendships, will not lead you into a godly marriage. Waiting on God and trusting Him as your shepherd is what will.
Three More Things You Shouldn’t Do 2. Never compare yourself to others
You are uniquely crafted with exclusive gifts that are branded on your destiny. There is something you can do better than anyone, find it and concentrate on that, rather than wear yourself out trying to do something that others are doing. Comparison trap is referred to as foolishness.
“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” (2Co 10:12, KJV)
Three More Things You Shouldn’t Do 3. Never give up on yourself
You will still have a beautiful marriage. You still have your own children. You will see the travail of your heart. I curse that spirit of fatigue and tiredness hovering over your destiny. I infuse God’s strength into your inner man by the Spirit of God right now. I command the light of God to shine into dark areas of your mind right now, I terminate the activities of the spirits of confusion over your life right now.
I curse the spirits of depression and despair in your life. That spirit that has caused you to hibernate into passiveness and dulled life is cursed in Jesus’ name. Fresh energy and divine strength are bursting from within you now, grace to receive the best of God and to wait for His salvation is released unto you right now in Jesus’ name. Creativity is bursting forth from within you now!
The spirit that wants you to give up, wrap up and quit, we stop its activities in Jesus’ name. I proclaim over your life and destiny right now, God’s word will no longer be prolonged over you. There is a speedy accomplishment over you right now because the hand of the Lord is coming upon you right now. Believe it. Say it. You will see it and people will rejoice with you! These are Three More Things You Shouldn’t Do
Two Things You Shouldn’t Allow. There is a man called Dr. Nick. I am sure you have seen his video. He was born without limbs. No legs. It was a pathetic case, enough for any man to commit suicide. But he didn’t see himself as disabled, rather he sees himself as a complete man, as a servant of God, and thousands of people, gather to see him inspire them, they forget he has no legs and they listen with rapt attention. He is married to a dashingly beautiful lady who didn’t care about his disability because Dr. Nick himself never sees himself as inferior to any other man!
How do you see yourself? What do you call yourself?
“And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.” (Num 13:33, KJV)
People tend to see you through you! They were not grasshoppers, God did not create them as grasshoppers, but the moment they saw themselves as grasshoppers, the same image was replicated in others who saw them.
If you see yourself as stupid, you will act stupid and people will call you stupid, even though you are smart.
If you see yourself as a nuisance, you will last like that, and definitely when you show up, people will know that the nuisance has arrived.
If you see yourself as rejected and disfavoured, you will do everything to follow the script, and people will surely reject you, even though God’s favour rests upon you!
If you see yourself as blessed and fortunate, people will keep blessing you, even though there is some generational curse, but the curse will simply fail to work over your life
Here are a few things to note.
Two Things You Shouldn’t Allow
1. Never look down on yourself.
You are created in God’s image. Believe it. You are not a mistake. You are not an error. You are not a disaster. You are not a regretful creature. Don’t look down on yourself, for if you do, people will look down on you and they will trample on you.
This is why the scripture advises:
“Let no one despise or think less of you because of your youth, but be an example (pattern) for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.” (1Ti 4:12, AMP)
Nobody can despise you until you permit them by the way you have despised yourself. Celebrate yourself.
2. Never speak ill of yourself
Words are powerful. Words are so much powerful that whatever you speak about yourself will eventually overwhelm your life and give direction to your life. Your words are like a map and a compass, much more powerful than Google maps.
Mephibosheth looked at himself and called himself a dead dog. No wonder he lived in a deserted place crawling like a dog, yet royal blood flowed in his vein.
When you say, you are not sure you will marry, you are embracing delay in your marital journey. There may be pressures around you, but the ultimate things are what you believe and say with your mouth.
If you say you are under a curse and that is why you are not married, things that happen to people who are under influence of curses will happen even though you are not cursed! That is how your words can be powerful. What a man utters carelessly can lead him into the gutter. These are the Two Things You Shouldn’t Allow
Decide to believe the best of God for your life and you will indeed see His best in Jesus’ name!
If I were a Single or Married Lady. This morning, I want to write to all ladies in the house and to all the men in their lives. From the wealth of experiences gathered during counselling times, there are things I would do and things I would never do if I were a lady.
Come to think of it, the lady seems to always be the one on the receiving end and the one that ‘suffers” and bares the consequences of unwise actions.
Think about it:
When a relationship breaks or doesn’t work out, who gets hurt the most? The guy or the lady?
When there is disappointment concerning the wedding, who cries endlessly for days? The guy or the lady?
When there is pre-marital sex, who is afraid of getting pregnant? The guy or the lady?
When pregnancy is anticipated, who starts drowning in pills like a fowl? The guy or the lady?
Who goes for all kinds of tests in the hospital? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through the pain of abortion in the event of that? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through the psychological trauma of murdering a life the most? The guy or the lady?
Who combines psychological trauma with emotional pain and then with physical discomfort? The guy or the lady?
If there were complications in the abortion process, whose body is affected? The guy or the lady?
If a complication arises and life is threatened, who loses her life? The guy or the lady?
If the womb is affected, who won’t be able to conceive eventually? The guy or the lady?
If the decision is to have the baby, whose tummy protrudes? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through the seeming stigma of carrying an unwanted pregnancy? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through all the morning sickness? The guy or the lady?
Whose body adjusts to the different trimesters with accompanying inconveniences? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through labour pain, at that moment when a lady goes through enough pain that would drown any man and make a grown-up man cry like a baby? The guy or the lady?
Hours or days before childbirth, who goes through the cramping, the tightening, the pounding, the stabbing, the back pain, the waves, the pressure, the pushing, and the exhaustion? The guy or the lady?
Who becomes a “single mother?” The guy or the lady?
Who does the breastfeeding afterward? The guy or the lady?
I can go on and on….but wait a moment…
Who ought to be wiser? The guy or the lady?
But really, who seems to be unwise? The guy or the lady? The answer to all of these seems to be The lady!
If I were a Single or Married Lady.
If I were a single lady,
1. I will not indulge in sex. If you can not wait for me, then you can be on your way.
2. I will not use my body to prove any love, because sex does not prove any love. If it does, then every prostitute ought to fall in love with their clients
3. I will not be used as a toy. I am not created to satisfy a man’s lust
4. Any man that cannot wait till marriage is not worth it. If any guy wants to go, I will let him go, maybe his name is Abedne-go!
5. I will be secure in God. It might look like it is taking long, but God will surely do it.
6. I will serve God in my generation. I will pay the price for greatness.
7. I will stay out of every compromise. If I am doing anything wrong now, I will make all things right. I will move out of his house if I am not yet married. I will not go and spend any weekend again. I am not a dry cleaner or house help.
8. I will not run after any man. I am to be wooed, pursued, and valued. Not the other way around.
9. I will focus on God as my Jehovah Jireh, not on some money bag who wants to destroy my life.
10. I will wait for the salvation of God. I will not be ahead of God.
If I were a married lady
1. I will respect my husband and be humble in my home
2. I will seek to please my husband
3. I will pray and find ways to help my husband.
4. I will stay away from any unfaithfulness, knowing it could open doors for the devil
5. I will be open to my husband and I will keep no secrets
6. I will deliberately choose to be joyful, and shut the door of depression and the negative atmosphere at home
7. I will not close up my spirit against my husband knowing it will bring lack into the family
8. I will get healed of any hurts and bitterness and always trust God to make all things well.
I pray that God will send help to you in specific areas where it is needed.
An Excursion Into The Mind Of A Lady Part 2. What does a lady want? That is our subject for today. Here is a typical conversation:
Bro.Zeru – Husband
Sis.Sube – Wife
Bro.Zeru: Hey dear, why are you looking so unhappy? What is wrong again?
Sis.Sube: Nothing
Bro.Zeru: Common, I know you now, there is something.
Sis.Sube: I said there is nothing.
Bro.Zeru: Ok, please, let’s talk
Sis.Sube: Is there really any need? It won’t change anything.
Bro.Zeru: Ok, I promise, let’s talk
Sis.Sube: You’ve not been there for me. You are not available. I can’t reach you.
Bro.Zeru: (Surprised) But I spend the whole office leave with you last week. We were together for one week.
Sis.Sube: Did we talk?
Bro.Zeru: But you didn’t say anything either. Will I be talking to myself?
Sis.Sube: You don’t have time for me. I am lonely.
Bro.Zeru: How can you say that? I don’t agree with that. How can you be lonely when I am here for you?
Sis.Sube: That is it. You will never agree.
Bro.Zeru: I am confused
Sis.Sube: When you are not watching movies, you are replying emails. When you are not replying emails, you are chatting away.
Bro.Zeru: I have to work now?
Sis.Sube: Yes, you are married to your work. Your work is more important than me.
Bro.Zeru: How can you say that? You know that is not true
Sis.Sube: That work is your first wife. I am just the neglected second wife
Bro.Zeru: I have to make money now? How would we have eaten?
Sis.Sube: You still don’t get it.
Bro.Zeru: I can’t get it. Very soon now, you will ask me to write you a check for shoes, jewelry, and others. I thought providing money makes you happy.
Sis.Sube: It makes me happy, but not as much as your availability.
Bro.Zeru: I am available, dear.
Sis.Sube: You are available, but I cannot reach you. You are there and you are not there. You are so near, but in your nearness, you are so distant.
Bro.Zeru: Ah! I am confused. Lord, help me. I want to make heaven.
Bro.Zeru is obviously frustrated. What he doesn’t know is that the greatest need of a lady is time and attention.
An Excursion Into The Mind Of A Lady Part 2.
Now I know there are ladies who don’t care a hoot about time and attention and all they want is money from some money bag who may be already married. These types of women are referred to as strange women in the scriptures.
I am talking about an average lady out there who loves God. Her greatest need is time and attention. Men need to understand this so they wouldn’t lose their wives! There are many marriages where the couple is no different from co-tenants or roommates because this great need has been neglected. It is a legitimate need, and every lady needs quality time and attention to function properly in her capacity as a helper.
When you give a lady what she wants, you will enjoy the best of her in marriage. I wish men could understand this and stop being unnecessarily bossy or egotistical.
A lady who cannot get this legitimate need met would be vulnerable to meeting this legitimate need in illegitimate ways. When this need is not met, you open your wife up to temptation from colleagues at work, men she encounters who care less about destroying your marriage.
Due to this serious issue, a lot of wives have closed up their spirits against their husbands, and it would affect a lot of things! It would affect finances, it would affect productivity and even children.
As singles in courtship, the same goes for you. You can easily lose her if you can’t give her time and attention. Yes, you may not be in the same location, but thank God for technology. When you have not called her in a week, she finds it difficult to believe that you really love her. And sincerely, as a man, when you really love a lady, you will want to reach her as often as possible.
Even when you are posted to a place that has no network, you will raise your phone high in the air, climb mountains or trees, and stand by the roof of the house, all in a bid to hear her sweet voice. That is what love is to her!
When you have not spoken to her in weeks, and she does not bother, you can as well know that she is getting emotional fulfillment elsewhere. It may be from other friends, from parties, from church, from children if she is married, but she will definitely find a way to meet her emotional needs.
And that is when it can really get dangerous. If one Casanova walks up to her at such times, she becomes vulnerable!
So what have we learned from our excursion into the mind of the lady today? Never ever neglect her. Give her time and attention! Men, be humble and go ahead and repent! Take her out today and spend time with her. Let her talk to you! Leave your iPad and Newspapers at home! This is An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind Part 2
An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind. Most men are frustrated today when it comes to understanding their spouse or spouse-to-be. Most people even believe that marriage is a necessary evil. But it is not like that in God’s word and since the scripture says no evil will befall us, God will not bring an evil institution upon us through marriage.
The devil has perverted the institution and has almost succeeded in selling the lie to the generation. You will thus find many people saying, it is better to stay unmarried. The problem with that is that such people often end up in a life of promiscuity.
A wife is not supposed to be a knife, she is supposed to be a helper. But most times, she is not fulfilled and does not have an enabling environment to be who she ought to be.
With over two decades of speaking, teaching, and writing on relationships and marriages, I have some ideas that can help you when it comes to how women think. Hundreds of young ladies, middle-aged ladies, and older ladies have spoken to me in counselling scenarios. Most of them would weep profusely as they narrate their ordeals. When guys call me, they are usually trying to find out how to choose a good lady, but when ladies call me, they are trying to get healed and get broken hearts mended. This however does not mean that men are incapable of experiencing broken hearts.
So, this morning, I want to take you by the hand, and let’s go on an excursion into the mind of a lady.
What do they think? What do they want? Why is she always moody? Why is she happy at this moment and then the next she is depressed? Why is she disinterested in sex sometimes? Why does she like to buy things? I can go on and on and there are so many questions. Let’s Take An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind.
She is deeply emotional
Now, that is just plain difficult for guys to understand because again, you are trying to process emotionalism with logic. A lady is emotional, but a man is logical.
That are two different worlds.
Let me give you an example.
A couple is driving home after church service in their beautiful car when they suddenly sighted a young girl who appears homeless. This is a likely conversation that might ensue.
Wife: Oh Jesus, look at that little cutie. What is she doing on the road?
Husband: What is she doing? Obviously, she is homeless.
Wife: Can we take her home?
Husband: Take her home? Just like that?
Wife: But she is homeless and she needs help
Husband: So I should just park like that and ask her to hop into the car?
Wife: At least, let’s park and help her first
Husband: I am not parking. I don’t know her.
Wife: You are heartless
Husband: But I am not stupid
Wife: You are heartless. That is how you deal with me as well.
Husband: Why do you always like to pick up fights with me? What is your business with that child?
Wife: And you are coming from church. Is that what you are being taught?
Husband: What has church got to do with this for God’s sake? Why are you just difficult?
Wife: It is you that is wicked
Husband: (tunes in to car radio)
Wife: (Sobbing) That is how you always ignore me.
That is how a simple event can escalate and get the couple on edge because she is an emotional being.
What this means is that a guy and a lady will never think the same way, will never see things the same way, and will never say them the same way. They are thinking from different sides of the brain.
In courtship scenarios, the following type of conversation can ensue:
Guy: (Calls his fiancée who lives in another state) Hey, Baby, how are you doing?
Lady: (Answers unhappily) I am fine
Guy: What’s wrong? You don’t sound good
Lady: Are you just noticing?
Guy: But I just called now! There you go again. What is wrong this time?
Lady: Nothing
Guy: How can you say “nothing?”
Lady: Nothing
Guy: Ok, I will call you later
Lady: So, you want to hang up the phone?
Guy: But you said there is nothing?
Lady: I have always known you don’t love me!
Guy: Baby, I love you
Lady: If you love me, you would have called me yesterday
Guy: But I told you that I would be in class throughout yesterday
Lady: Whatever happened to SMS and chats?
Guy: I told you my phone would be with a repairer
Lady” Why can’t you borrow a phone? Am I not important to you?
Guy: Oh God. You just feel like picking a quarrel. So that’s the issue?
Lady: Yes
Guy: Ok, I am sorry
Lady: You are always sorry. Every time, you are sorry.
Guy: What do you want from me? So what do you want now?
Lady: Nothing
And they can go and on without any meaningful conclusion.
This is An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind
The first thing I will like you to know this morning is that guys and ladies think differently. So, in a relationship or marriage, you don’t set out to win an argument, you simply try to understand each other.
Something that is insignificant to you can be a passionate issue for her and you need to deal with her with a lot of understanding. She is not logical, which sometimes makes her use too many words, but you need to know that she is intuitive.
CONFESSION I will live with understanding
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me by your Holy Spirit in my areas of ignorance
How To Build Up Your Self-Esteem. Low self-esteem has driven many into sexual promiscuity. They really want somebody to affirm them. Such people must be in a relationship overtime because they feel incomplete without a boyfriend or girlfriend. But you see, you cannot get from a man what is designed to come from God and His word.
Let’s find out How To Build Up Your Self-Esteem. It is a “self” thing.
In building up your self-esteem, the first thing I will like you to note is that it is a “self-issue!” That is why it is called “self-esteem!” It is not lecturer esteem or father esteem or boyfriend esteem. It is self-esteem. In having good self-esteem, you are not to seek it from anybody, you can only build it by yourself by giving yourself to study of God’s word which will then strengthen you from within.
“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” (Psa 139:13-14, KJV)
When you go into a relationship or get married for the sole purpose of building your esteem, it usually would not work out because you would eventually be disappointed. Why is that? It is not a job for man, it is a job for your God.
So it is called self-esteem because nobody can study God’s word for you. You have to do it yourself. It is called self-esteem because you are supposed to build up your personal prayer life instead of looking around for some prophets who will end up deceiving you.
It is not siblings’ esteem, not uncle esteem and definitely, it is not pastor esteem. Self-discovery and purpose discovery are personal journeys you must embark on. When you discover God’s purpose for your life, it will stabilize your emotions and you will not be driven to and fro by the storms and winds of life. When you know God’s plan for your marriage, you will not even consider it when a married man comes around telling you all kinds of lies.
When you have good self-esteem, you will not be persuaded intoner marital sex by guys who are only looking for fun. Now listen to this, you will never be able to build up your self-esteem through sex. That is not what your body is designed to do. Your body is not meant to be used as a weapon to get what you want. Don’t reduce what God calls His temple to what is cheaply available to all and sundry. Raise your shoulder and embrace the dignity with which you are created.
On the contrary, sex offers you a quick temporary feeling of being loved, but the feeling quickly disappears because feelings are fickle. After you are done, you find yourself back in the deep gully of low self-esteem. You then need to offer your body more to get some love and affirmation, but it will always end in frustration because that is not what God designed you for.
For married people, a lot of other issues can spring up from a spouse dealing with low self-esteem. It can be constant irritability when corrected. It can be communication issues. It can be unnecessary inhibitions in the bedroom, and so on and so forth.
Decide to deliberately build your esteem through God’s word, serving Him, purpose discovery, and living that purpose.
In 1996, I proposed and my wife said Yes. We were campus sweethearts. She would always tell me that she said ‘Yes’ in faith! Can you imagine? Is it that I am not fine ni? Today we both laugh over that statement and of course, trust me, I would say, I also proposed in hope since faith and hope work together! Lobatan!
Exercising faith in your relationship and marriage is very important. Faith in God, His word, in the man you are saying Yes to, and in yourself that all will be well.
Doubt and worry are the devil’s attempts and attacks on our minds to steal God’s will and God’s best from us.
What are the 5 Ways Doubt Can Cause Havoc?
1. It can lead to confusion.
Marriage is a faith institution. Its foundation cannot be anything apart from faith. When you doubt, you become unsure of what exactly you are to do. God never configured us to function outside of His leading. An attempt to do so will only lead to confusion. I pray for you this morning, confusion will not be your portion in Jesus’ name 2. It can lead to considerations of alternatives and other options
There will always be alternatives. But the question should be, where will the other alternatives lead you to? That’s when other ladies and guys will look more attractive than God’s best for you. It’s all about your purpose. This singular knowledge will keep you contented. I pray for you this morning, you will not be sidetracked from God’s purpose.
In marriage, there are no more options for you. Simply concentrate on the one you have chosen, and get blessed there.
3. It can make you be double-minded
When you are in doubt, you are double-minded and like the Bible says, a double-minded man cannot receive anything from the Lord. It becomes difficult for God to bless your relationship when you are still in doubt. Today, you are convinced, tomorrow you are no longer sure. Every doubt in your heart is terminated in Jesus’ name.
In marriage, that assurance is needed to keep you standing when the marital wind and storms show up.
4. It can tamper with your focus
Focus is very essential in building a successful relationship and marriage. God really blessed us with a lot of focus while in courtship. We were focused on making things right and doing things God’s way. We laugh now, but more of being grateful to God when we look back and see that we spent most of our courtship time praying and preparing for what God will have us do in the future.
You will not be distracted in Jesus’ name
5. It can take genuine love from your relationship.
Pure, genuine love will have no room to entertain doubt and worry. Love needs to grow in an atmosphere of certainty, clarity of purpose, oneness, and single-mindedness. Fear has torment but perfect love cast out fear. Once you are in doubt and unbelief, you cannot even attract God’s help because you don’t trust him enough to be sure He will take care of you. You will be reluctant to give your full commitment. For a successful relationship, a hundred percent of your heart and commitment are needed. These are the 5 Ways Doubt Can Cause Havoc
May God help us in Jesus’ Name. May His word take root in our hearts to build strong faith in our God.
CONFESSION I will not succumb to worry and doubt in my life
PRAYER Lord, teach me to rely on you and put my trust in you in Jesus name
Don’t Just Give Up Yet! This morning, God asked me to tell you; Don’t Just Give Up Yet
Why should I wait a little bit more, Pastor?
1. I have been living right and nothing is happening! I am tired.
By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God. (Hebrews 11:5 KJV)
There is translation and relocation, coming your way. No, you won’t die; you will have victory. What can we learn from Enoch? He pleased God. You cannot please God and then be pissed at the end. He walked with God and he was no more experiencing the failures and the disappointments of this world.
Stay with God, walk with God and decide to please Him, in a moment of time, like a twinkling of an eye, He will turn your captivity around. I see a transformation wherein you will be as one that is dreaming; I see a testimony on your way, which will fill your mouth with laughter.
Single or married, decide to walk with God. Start your day by talking to Him. Spend time worshiping Him and you will see His glory in your life!
Don’t Just Give Up Yet
2. I don’t have a clue about what God wants to do, I have been obeying Him and I am discouraged
By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. (Hebrews 11:8 KJV)
Stay in obedience. If you can stay in obedience even when it doesn’t make sense, you will have victory. Do you know that God doesn’t make sense? Rather than question His instructions, simply obey Him! Too much analysis can lead to paralysis. Just obey. When He asks you to give, just give because He has a harvest in mind. When He asks you to move without giving you a destination, just move first. When He asks you to start a ministry or a business, just start because until you start, you will not provoke the supply.
Abraham went out, not knowing wither He went. That has been the story of my life and this ministry, I don’t care what people think, I care what God is saying. When you listen too much to people, your dreams will be ruptured.
Don’t Just Give Up Yet
3. Time is going and I am getting frustrated.
Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. (Hebrews 11:11 KJV)
She judged God faithful. She called God faithful. It looked impossible, but she hung on the rope of God’s faithfulness. God will never be late, yes, there might have been a delay, but there will never be a denial.
This morning, I pray over you, receive strength to conceive. You are not barren, you have the eggs right there in your womb, this morning, receive the word of God as seed to fertilize your dreams and vision, and let there be a conception.
Your dream of a good marriage; a handsome godly husband, receive strength now, to conceive, by God’s word coming your way this morning.
Your dream of a good wife, a beautiful anointed helper meet, receive strength right now to conceive and let there be conception.
Your dream of carrying your own baby in your hands, receive strength in your inner man this morning and let there be conception in Jesus’ name.
You see in times when there are fertility issues, low sperm count issues, womb anomalies, and tube block issues, you simply allow the Almighty to overshadow you as He did for Mary, it was the seed of the word that caused conception. As God’s word comes to you this morning, I declare every biological anomaly in your body to be corrected and made ready for conception in Jesus’ name!
I remember the lady that called me from Qatar, who has gone to see her husband. She is returning to Nigeria and she wanted to get pregnant because she doesn’t know when she would see her husband next but nothing was happening. She called and I said some simple prayers over the phone. Did God do it? She conceived.
I remember the lady that called from the UK who was having conception issues. I prayed for her and God honoured His word.
What about the lady I prayed for in Ibadan, she was my classmate in Masters Degree programme in University of Ibadan in 2005. She wanted to conceive because she had only one daughter and no more. I remember she wept as I prayed for her. Fast forward a few years, and she wanted me to reverse the prayers because God has added two more in quick successions! Receive strength to conceive this morning in Jesus’ name! Lay your hands on your belly, whether it be the fruit of the womb, or the reality of your vision, and pray in the spirit.
CONFESSION I will not give up on God
PRAYER Lord, I receive strength to conceive today in Jesus name
1. God knows what He is doing God knows what He is doing about your life and in your life and He is not confused. If you are single and you are worried about who your spouse is, well, your spouse is somewhere right now. Be patient, be focused, and trust God as a father that He will lead you and guide you.
Never ever allow the devil to push you into a corner and tell you that something is wrong with you. All you should do is trust God, and you will rejoice in the end. Don’t compare yourself with others; we all have different timetables. The fact that somebody arrived before you does not mean the person is more favoured, there are times and seasons and your prayer should be, Lord, help me to be sensitive to your leading at all times.
If you are already married and you are not happy in your marriage, talk to God about it. God has a way of bringing succor to every storm of life. He knows what the situation is in your marriage. He knows exactly the solution to any imbroglio. Get close to Him and talk to Him.
2. Don’t stop reading God’s word You know what? That word of God is your life. Don’t joke with it. Don’t play with it. Stay with it and believe it. Embrace it and meditate on it. The word of God is anointed of itself and by itself to come to pass. Whatever you are passing through right now, the answer is in God’s word. There is no special Bible for singles and another for married. In the Bible is encapsulated everything thing you will ever need in life. Your spouse, your children, and your prosperity are right inside that word.
3. Sin and compromise will slow you down Stay away from all compromise. If you are single, don’t slow yourself down through compromise. The pressure is mounting daily but you must learn to put your body under and remain disciplined. The scripture says that sin shall not have dominion over us. The pressures in this generation will not be an excuse for any character defect.
Married Couples focus on your spouse and spouse only. Stay away from all compromises!
4. There is a place for mercy and His grace If you have made mistakes, don’t condemn yourself because God does not condemn you. What He wants from you is repentance and if you run to him at such times, He will cleanse and restore you. Psalm 23 says, He restoreth my soul. I pray for you this morning, every area of your life that has been tampered with, let there be restoration now!
5. Don’t stop giving If you will break the back of poverty and lack in your life, you have to give. You have to be delivered from greed and you have to stop being materialistic. True wealth from God will always include sowing seed consistently!
These are the 5 Truths Single And Married Should Know. May God give you more understanding.
PRAYER Lord, help me to stay sensitive to your leading
CONFESSION I am not confused. God’s greatness lies in me. He has a plan for me. That plan will come to pass
50 Ways To Love One Another Part 2. I wrote the first 25 yesterday. I will complete them today
Feelings are fickle. Do not rely on feelings because they can fail
You must move from feelings to commitments
Genuinely care for your spouse. Be deliberate. Don’t take each other for granted.
Do not pursue men. Men can sense desperate women, and they can often take advantage of them
Do not lie to your loved one. A reputation of a liar is not cool in marriage
The truth sets free. Learn to be truthful
God did not lead you wrong, it is situations that pull you in the wrong directions
Don’t love your gadgets more than you love your spouse
Avoid pornography as singles. It awakens unnecessary cravings
Avoid pornography as couples. It will open doors for demonic spirits in the home
Do not sleep over at a guy’s place when you are not yet married.
If he loves you he will wait for you
If she loves you, she will be proud of you
Avoid borrowing. You will eventually drag your loved one into its consequences
Cuddle one another to sleep as married couples. Papa Kenneth Hagin of blessed memory said his wife would sleep in his arms every night. That is powerful.
Avoid every form of sexual perversion as singles. Oral sex and the like are forbidden areas.
Avoid sexual perversion as married couples. There is nothing you are learning from Kama Sutra or soft porn other than the door opens for demonic spirits
The best way to raise your children is to model love to them. Love each other and express the love before them
Double dating is a rehearsal for adultery. It takes the same heart and God is not excited about it
Hurts and wounds for your ex are often taken into the next relationship. Forgive deliberately
When you lose your peace and your joy departs in a relationship, they are warning signs for you
Adultery doesn’t come with two horns on the head. It comes with all forms of subtlety. Be cautious with the opposite sex
You are not the Holy Spirit. Stop trying to help everybody while your spouse suffers the brunt emotionally. That game will end faster than you think
Life zooms past more speedily than a bullet train. Whatever you want to do, do it now. Stop postponing taking care of one another. Do it now.
Put God first in all you do. Love God first before loving any man. That is the order.
50 Ways To Love One Another. Pastor, what is this thing with 50 this, 50 that? Don’t mind me. It’s not easy to be 50, It can only be God. So bear with me on my idiosyncrasies in this season.
So our topic this morning is 50 Ways to love another, and this is for singles and married. I will write 25 today and conclude tomorrow.
Just before I go on, I want to appreciate you all for the calls, the messages, and the gifts on my birthday! God bless you massively. You will live long in Jesus’ name!
1. Love with sincerity. A major key in marriage.
2. Do all you can do to build trust. Broken trust breeds insecurities.
3. Be creative in loving your loved one. Boredom can lead to exploring the forbidden.
4. Sex should be kept in the hood for singles while it should be on top of the table for couples.
5. In Couples, the frequency of your intimacy in the bedroom shows how healthy the marriage is.
6. Singles, love each other with prayers. Pray more than any other thing you will do in courtship
7. Don’t stop the wooing process and the pursuit games. Continue that after the wedding and thank me later.
8. Singles, go after God with all your energy. God will be committed that you don’t get it wrong
9. God is committed till it is completed. So, don’t back out on God
10. Love is like a story, what type of character will you be?
11. Going to Cinemas is good, going for the supernatural should be pursued too.
12. Surprise each other every time.
13. Don’t take each other for granted. Be sensitive to your needs.
14. You can’t bring selfishness into marriage. It won’t last
14. Seek to please each other after pleasing God and you will minimize offences.
15. Forgiveness is a decision. It has nothing to do with who is right or wrong
16. The most mature is the one that says sorry first
17. The husband and wife actually get angry. One shows it, the other internalizes it. There is nothing like he doesn’t get angry. So apologize to one another.
18. In marriage, you are both right and wrong. It takes two to tango
19. Do not give sex to get love as singles. You never get the love, and he gets the sex.
20. Take everything to God in prayer rather than argue your eyes out.
21. Both of you have your weaknesses. One may show, while the other is subdued. But it is what it is
22. The devil hates you passionately. Don’t do Tik Tok on his terrain. Give him no space
23. Guys, you are her protector. Stop seeing her as a sex toy
24. Ladies, you are his helper, stop seeing him as ATM Machine
25. Read the Bible daily without fail. You will know how to love properly.
50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years. Well, as you may be all aware, today is my 50th! I feel like 20! With all gratefulness to God, I want to appreciate God for keeping me alive this past fifty years! God has been good!
What song should I sing now? I want to sing all the songs together. God is good!
This morning I will share briefly with you on 50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years
1. You will eventually marry. Nobody can marry your spouse.
2. God qualifies the called. He does not call the qualified.
3. God will communicate to you in a pattern. Study that pattern.
4. Do not be in a hurry. When God speaks to you, a burden comes. There is a burden to prepare and a burden to perform. Find out which is which.
5. It is foolishness for you to fight your spiritual father or pastor.
6. Never gossip. It slows things down.
7. Never venture out without a spiritual covering.
9. Find your tribe or your spiritual lineage for that is where your inheritance is.
10. Nothing kills anointing like being in the wrong environment.
11. Never stay around people who talk against what your calling is.
12. Be a voracious reader.
13. Your first call is unto God. Stay with God and develop your faith muscle.
14. You cannot combine sin with the ministry.
15. Do not get into comparison traps.
16. As a lady, never ask a man out.
17. Do not spend nights or weekends in a man’s home until after the wedding.
18. Do not go into a relationship experimentally
19. If your lover says he or she wants to move on, let them move.
20. In God, some rejections are directions.
21. Do not be in a hurry.
22. Courtship time is an alignment of the mind, not the interlocking of bodies.
23. Your service and time spent for God in the church cannot cover or compensate for sexual disobedience.
24. Every single act in your courtship is a seed into your marriage and home.
25. If you build with lies, deception, and compromise, it is a courtship built on sand and not rock.
26. A relationship or courtship that is isolated and disenfranchised from mentorship will not always last.
27. Build your self-esteem. If you don’t, you will keep attempting to use your outer beauty to cover your inner struggles.
28. Be careful with a person who gives with a motive to defile you.
29. You have a responsibility to love yourself before any other person can love you.
30. Without God, sweet bread turns fast into gravel in the mouth and the mastication process becomes a mess and a pain.
31. Do not start playing small Mummy for anybody before the wedding
32. Being a virgin is good, but you must also have the right attitude and relationship skills.
33. Lastly, know that God has a plan for you. His thoughts towards you are thoughts of peace. Not of evil. God knows what He is doing. He is not confused
34. Focus on your spouse and spouse alone!
35. Wives, be a holy wife but don’t form holiness for your husband in the bed.
36. Wives, be a “naughty” girl. That is what he wants! Lose your inhibitions and give each other unforgettable experiences.
37. Singles, Why would you want to hold a night vigil together and alone? That way, it is not the devil tempting you, you are the one tempting him.
38. Sexual compromise will bring confusion to the soul. It happens all the time.
39. Each time you compromise, something dies in you. Avoid the traps.
40. No matter how far you think you have gone, God’s mercy is always there for you in repentance
41. Avoid dating married people. It is not only sinful, it is sowing a bad seed into your own marriage.
42. Adultery will adulterate your destiny. Avoid it.
43. Never lift your hands against your wife. Things will go south when you do that.
44. Be open to each other in marriage. Be recklessly sincere.
45. After pleasing God do all you can to please each other.
46. There may be a delay, but there won’t be a denial. His words will not fall to the ground.
47. Keep your marriage romantic. Keep doing all you were doing before the wedding
48. Look into each other’s eyes during sex. Soak in yourselves and merge as one.
49. Avoid strife like a plague. Pray together.
50. Forgive each other in a hurry. Never habour inhibitions against each other!
50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years
Good morning! My name is Rev Dunamis +234 802 350 7395 (Whatsapp Only)
These Four Things Will Bring Regret. Regret is one of the sad things that can happen to anyone. It is a terrible feeling that leaves one feeling guilty, depressed, and sometimes despondent. It is a feeling of, ‘If I had known it will turn out this way, I would not have done it’. It is a feeling of wishing things never turned out the way they are. A feeling of wishing one can turn back the hands of time.
A feeling of hopelessness. What makes regret bad is that with all these feelings, really you cannot change what has happened. It is like crying over spilled milk. My prayer to a lady out there this morning experiencing great regret is that God will turn things around for your good. He will show you great mercy and bring a testimony out of the trial. Most of the time, the things that will later cause sorrow or regret don’t look like it and that’s what makes it painful.
You never thought in your wildest imagination he can jilt you, you never thought after promising you heaven and earth he could sleep with you, abandon you for another lady and accuse you. The list could be endless. But for every blow of the devil, God has more than enough grace and mercy to heal. However, I believe prevention is better than cure and God will have us move into maturity while we know what to do and what will bring regret later and avoid doing them. Particularly ladies, they get to bare the brunt and feel the heat of hurt most of the time, May God help us in Jesus.
These Four Things Will Bring Regret 1. Becoming emotionally attached to someone who is not ready to marry you
Emotional attachment is a dangerous place to be because at that time you are not ready to reason nor willing to hear advice, direction, or instructions even from God. When emotions are involved, it’s like going on a sloppy, slippery road, descent is easiest and becomes unavoidable. Don’t be quick to get your emotions involved, do your findings first, pray, and ask questions. Be slow to get emotional. Don’t give your emotions the lead or the driver’s seat in your relationship, it will lead to an accident.
On the other hand for the married, emotional attachment is necessary, as it also reflects the one flesh principle in marriage. This emotional attachment with your spouse helps you to relate on a deeply emotional level and that connectedness helps your marriage and even your prayer life. Anything that will threaten that connection should not be allowed.
I will stop here this morning and conclude tomorrow with “These Four Things Will Bring Regret”
CONFESSION The Lord is my strength today in all I do
PRAYER Lord, give me the wisdom to avoid regrets in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee? Shew us thy mercy, O Lord, and grant us thy salvation (Psalms 85:6-7 KJV)
ACTION Decide to live above regrets and focus on the future
Overcoming Rejection After Breakfast Is Served. Sally was head over heels in love with George. Everything was looking great with all the butterflies flapping their wings. It was not for long however, George served Sally breakfast! Sally was heartbroken. What would she do?
All of the time, I tell people like Sally, it is not time to cry, it is time to move on. You cry when there is a loss of a loved one. That is understandable. But when somebody decides to leave you and move on, yes, you can cry a little, but you need to shake yourself into reality and understand that rejection is not always a disappointment, rejection can actually be a direction from God!
Love is two-way, it is mutual. But when one party decides he or she is no longer in love, don’t break your neck over that!
As a child of God, if you pray a lot, and you serve God with the integrity of heart, and then you fall in love with a guy who is deceiving you and who will eventually harm you one way or the other in the future, what do you think would happen?
God Himself would orchestrate a breakup because He doesn’t want any evil to befall you.
It is a reality that as humans, one can fall in love with a person that will eventually hurt you. Sometimes, you even know and you can see the signs. You can see the uncontrollable anger. You can see the unrepentant heart. You can see a penchant desire for pre-marital sex without any sense of guilt. You can even see that he or she is cheating on you, and yet you still hold on, believing that you will change him.
If you are a child of God and God loves you which I know He does, that kind of relationship will break up. You see, there are some relationships that break up and the next thing you should do is thanksgiving!
What do you do in Overcoming Rejection After Breakfast Is Served? You should just go ahead and thank God for saving your life! There are some strange ladies out there you get involved with and after a breakup, you thank your God, not getting into some pity party! You see, you thought you love him or her? Not really? It is because you have been embroiled with sex. You have tasted the stew before it was ready and now your tongue is burnt. When you get involved with sex before the wedding, confusion enters the soul.
Why is that? Because the injunctions of God have been violated.
When there is confusion in the soul, your mind becomes unclear. You continue to love the wrong person. You cannot disconnect from the one that hurt you from time to time. A soul tie has been established and illegal soulical bonding has been effected.
He or she decides to move on but you are wrecked emotionally. Months after, you couldn’t pick up your life. What do you do in such instances?
You run to God. The scripture says in Psalm 23, He restroreth my soul…
When you go to Him, He will heal the hurt, pacify the wounds, and touch you where no hands can reach. He will put the nuts to the bolts, and then you can see clearly, and then you wonder why you were loving a lair, a user, a manipulator, and a cheat in the first place.
So, you let go of such abusive relationships. If the wrong person doesn’t go, the right will not show up.
But why would he or she just leave me like that? Am I worthless? No, you are too much for him or her. Your destiny weighs more, and only the right one can handle your glorious destiny!
Every Abedne-go will eventually go! Let them go. For those who are married, there can also be rejection from your spouse. That is not the time to shut down as if you are a PC.
That is not the time to recoil into your shell like a snail. That is not the time to run into a cave. It is time to communicate with your God and with him or her to know the source of the rejection. Never assume, for assumption is the lowest form of knowledge. Never allow rejection to degenerate into strife. I see a glorious future ahead of you. I see God coming into your situation and bringing help your way and that will be your portion in Jesus’ name! This is what you do in Overcoming Rejection After Breakfast Is Served
CONFESSION I am not rejected, because God has not rejected me
PRAYER Pray that God strengthens you to make the right decisions
THOUGHT Hosea 14:4 I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him.
O Lord, Where Is My Spouse? From counseling experiences, I know some of us have done all we know to do and yet it doesn’t look like anything is happening. When you find yourself at this point, what do you do? What else is there to do?
I want to write to both singles and married this morning. For singles, It can really be frustrating when it looks like nearly all your friends are married except you. It is even more frustrating to know that some of those who are already married are not as beautiful as you and they are not as spiritual as you!
“If anybody should be married by now, it ought not to be Sister Sube who got born again last year! I have been serving God consistently for five years! What is happening here?“
O Lord, Where Is My Spouse? Here are a few things to know that will help you.
The Covenant
The first thing that you need to know that will help you in this situation where you might be experiencing a seeming delay is that you are a child of Covenant. This knowledge is the foundation of the entirety of your Christian life. It is on this spiritual truth that every other blessing springs. You must have a consciousness of that Covenant.
Listen to me, you are not just here floating to nowhere, you are in a covenant! A covenant is like an agreement that cannot be broken. You are in a certain agreement with God concerning your life, marriage, and destiny! This covenant stipulates that you can never be abandoned by God!
It is not just possible. Its possibility does not exist, that God will abandon you! How do I know? God swore by Himself and put His throne on the line, that all He has promised you, He will bring to pass and that He is committed until it is completed.
Take a look at it:
Hebrews 16 – 19 For men verily swear by the greater: and an oath for confirmation is to them an end of all strife. Wherein God, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath: That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;
This is the anchor of your soul. When doubts come, when tests and trials come, when your faith is shaky, when your feet seems imbalanced, when your heart begins to vacillate, what will keep you strong and unshakable is nothing other than the covenant.
If you are a child of the covenant, you are too covered, too blessed, too favoured. This covenant sense and perspective must be there in your life. It is on this covenant that you stand.
How can this covenant be rooted in your heart? You have to understand the terms of the covenant first. The terms can only be found in the covenant document and that is God’s word. Get familiar with it. Get to know and study what rights you have in God.
When you are oblivious to this covenant and the covenant rights, you will be easily depressed and discouraged from time to time.
When you get to know this covenant, it will give birth to something powerful. It will give birth to Assurance!
O Lord, Where Is My Spouse?
For married couples, the covenant consciousness will ensure an infidelity-free marriage. Once the couple recognizes that they are in covenant with each other and the covenant witness is God Himself, it will engender a distaste for sin. Who really wants to offend God in that sense?
The covenant awareness will keep both of you sane. This is why you should strive as couples to be covenant minded in your marriage.
Covenant violation does not come with nice consequences.
Dan 11:32 (AMPC) And such as violate the covenant he shall pervert and seduce with flatteries, but the people who know their God shall prove themselves strong and shall stand firm and do exploits [for God]. Good morning.
CONFESSION I am a child of the Covenant PRAYER Lord, open my eyes to see all that belong to me in the covenant
THOUGHT That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation…
Attraction In Relationships And Marriage. As a single, you don’t want to spiritualize everything and say attraction doesn’t matter! It matters a lot!
Marry somebody you like and you love, a friend you can play with and laugh with. That is why the scripture says, “…rejoice with the wife of thy youth.“
You also need to know that God will not force anybody on you. This idea that you are marrying somebody not because you love the person but because God said so is defective.
As a lady, when a guy walks up to you and tells you that God has spoken to Him, you also need to hear God as well.
The other day, a guy who is the president of his fellowship proposed to a lady within the fellowship this way:
“Young lady, God has spoken to me. Thus saith the Spirit of God, you are my wife. I will like you to cooperate with God’s voice. You don’t need to pray again because God has spoken to me. It is wise to listen to God lest one is faced with His wrath.”
That is nothing more than intimidation, manipulation, and witchcraft!
The scripture clearly identifies the importance of physical attraction when it comes to marriage. God in His wisdom knows that if a man does not derive satisfaction from his wife, he would seek it elsewhere, which of course will not only be detrimental to him but to his whole family.
Have you noticed that when a man commits adultery, the whole family suffers the consequences?
So, God advises man:
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings (Proverbs 5:18-21 KJV)
In other words, what God wants is that you focus on your wife and not somebody out there. He said all your ways are before Him and He will inquire about everything you do. More or less, the affair that you think is secret is actually open to God.
Now, we have established that physical attraction is very important! But there is a balance! Physical attraction alone is not the only thing that determines your choice! See the scripture:
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)
Message Translation says: Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear–of– God. (Proverbs 31:30 Message)
So we see here, the only thing shouldn’t be outward beauty, but also inner beauty. It is okay if she has hot legs, but her heart must also be hot for God! A hot leg without a hot heart will get your hands burnt at the end.
So in a man or in a woman, I should have an attraction for him or her, while he or she must have an attraction for God.
Attraction In Relationships And Marriage is very important!
Be patient and wait for the salvation of God in your marriage. If you are already married, stay focused on your spouse!
May God help us all.
CONFESSION I am a child of God. I am beautiful
PRAYER Pray that God will be your wisdom and strength
THOUGHT A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it (Proverbs 31:10-11 Message)
Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady Firstly, do not ask her to stay over before the wedding. Secondly, do not ask her for money repeatedly. In every kingdom, there are lifestyles and there are ethics that go with them When you adhere to these ethics, you don’t get into trouble. When you flout them, there will be consequences. It is the same way in the scriptures.
Here are Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady
1. Do not ask her to stay over before the wedding
When you have a relationship with a lady, either dating or in courtship, you should not put pressure on her to come and pass the night in your place. You are meant to “leave” before you “cleave, ” but when you invite her over, you are trying to “cleave” without “leaving.” That is the wrong order. Destinies will be clipped when you cleave before you leave.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 KJV)
When you go over to pass the night in his place, it is like trapping yourself. You are on his territory and anything can happen. Amnon couldn’t carry out his lustful thoughts on Tamar, but the moment she was in his room, the equation changed. He bolted the door and raped her!
When you are in a guy’s house you are not married to, the stage is set for compromise and because of the way a man’s body is wired, something will usually happen.
What if nothing happens? Are the angels clapping for you? I doubt! You have misrepresented Christ in a way, and you are passing the wrong message across. Your life is meant to be an example. Your lifestyle is meant to be a living gospel, so you need to be careful of how you behave.
On the other hand in marriage and for couples. do not stay outside your matrimonial home because of some quarrels. Do not ask your wife to leave the house because of some little provocation.
“I will send you back to your father’s house!”
That is a statement or thought you should not dance with under any circumstance!
Taking it further, do not leave your bedroom and go spend the night elsewhere. Stay in your bedroom regardless of what is happening. Resolve it rather than prolonging it.
Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady 2. Do not ask her for money repeatedly
There is nothing wrong in giving your fiance money if he is not financially disposed like you and you are in a position to help, but it is quite wrong to ask for money from her every other opportunity.
In fact, you may be seen as a leech at the end of the day who is only trying to manipulate the emotions of ladies to get what you want. This even becomes more intense when the relationship doesn’t end in a marriage. The lady will feel used and will end up hurt.
It is also not good for a man to keep borrowing money he has no intention of returning. That bothers on integrity and insincerity. It doesn’t matter if you are born again. There is nothing like holy fraud. Fraud is fraud!
It is also very wrong to keep collecting money from someone you intend to dump later. Life is about seed, time, and harvest and you don’t want to be sowing that kind of seed into your future.
It is the height of irresponsibility, for a man to ask all the time without reciprocating. If she gives you out of love, it is okay, if you ask her once out of a blue moon to sort something urgently, it is okay, but when you ask every other time and come up with one story or the other, it is not healthy for both of you!
On the other hand, in marriage, do not allow your wife to ask for money all the time before you make it available. There is nothing like “my money” again in marriage. The money belongs to both of you and it should be seen that way, irrespective of who is making it or making the most.
Never use money to control each other in your marriage. Do not give access to mammon spirit in your home. If you try to control her with money, she may end up trying to make “her own money” in desperate ways, which of course might be counterproductive to the marriage and the home. These are the Two Things You Shouldn’t Ask A Lady.
CONFESSION I have God’s wisdom in my relationship/marriage
PRAYER Lord, grant me more wisdom and grace in my relationship/marriage
THOUGHT Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN Have a discussion with your loved one if there is need to make amends.
