Causes of Marital Delay. When I mean delay, I mean those that have been waiting for a while.
For some, nobody is showing up at all. For some, a few people are showing up and for some, too many people are showing up, just that they don’t seem to be the right people. For some others, it is always “un-marriageable” people. Here are a few scenarios that you need to check to know that all is well from your end.
Causes of Marital Delay
1. You are looking for the perfect person
If you are looking for the perfect person, there will always be some form of delay. You want that person that is totally packaged from heaven, spiritual, sound, can dissect the scriptures, can quote the scriptures and can engage you in spiritual discourse.
The reality is that you will never be able to know that perfect spiritual person because everybody is a project in the making. Knowing a spiritual person is not by the tongues such a person is speaking or by the activities in the church, all that can be successfully staged.
Again, there are many people who sound and appear spiritual as singles but become the most carnally minded after marriage because of the pressures that come with marriage.
Your judgment of who is spiritual and who is not may cause delays, because people usually come as raw materials and not finished products.
This is not to say that you should settle for an unbeliever, but if you are going to eliminate this tendency, you will need to appreciate the people that God sends into your life and not discard them like a piece of paper because they fell short in a certain area.
I still remember the brother who broke up with a sister because all her tongue was “sandal, sandal, sandal… the brother wondered when she will get to buy shoes!
Causes of Marital Delay
2. You are looking for the handsome or beautiful person
Attraction is necessary for deciding who to marry and I always say you should make sure you are attracted to the person you will eventually marry.
But when you are looking for that perfect person in terms of appearance that you have in your mind, you can actually delay yourself.
You see, there is a downside to everybody. Nobody will perfectly fit into the exact picture and definition of “completely handsome” or completely beautiful” in your mind. You will need to eventually drop some of your “stiff and strict” qualities if you really want to get married. After all, it is not as if you are perfect in your own appearance as well.
I will give you an example. You have always wanted a tall and fair lady. Now God sends Sister Sube into your life and she is tall and fair. She matches exactly the picture you have in mind, but the only thing is that she doesn’t fit into one of your desired qualities, which is the fact that she doesn’t have a straight nose. Her nose is flat, but you wanted somebody whose nose is straight like the lady you saw in that film as a teenager! For that reason, you concluded it is not God’s will. You may be wrong!
Another example, Brother Zerubabbel is the exact picture of the husband you’ve been praying for. He is spiritual, he has a hunger for knowledge, he can pray, he is a graduate, he has a good job, he has the exact height you want, he is dark and you have become close friends. The only thing is that his pronunciation is not polished. For example, He pronounces “three” as “tiri” and that irritates you. He pronounces “computer” as “kon-poo-taa” and that irritates you more. For that reason, you said it couldn’t be God!
Well, you may be wrong! Insignificant issues that can be conquered with some learning, polishing, fine-tuning, and adjustments should not be turned into gargantuan reasons for not getting married to a particular person
I will conclude on the Causes of Marital Delay tomorrow. Good morning!
Singles Conference 2022 is some weeks away! Ensure you are around. The spirit causing the delay will be crushed! And we will be teaching you things you need to do from your end as well. The Spirit of Grace will come upon you and make things easy for you. Find links to register below!
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional. Women are simply emotional beings! They are sentimental. Their way of thinking is miles apart from that of a man and they can be very illogical. You must understand and embrace this part about them and help bring the much-needed balance without creating issues.
That was how I got married and then any little thing somebody would be crying. I was like, what’s this? Lol…
By the way, today is my wife’s birthday! Some of you will be used to that now….anniversary yesterday, birthday today. Help me say a word of prayer for her!
Back to our topic, why are the womenfolk sentimental? I will be writing about women, both singles and married, so that men can understand who they are dealing with. 5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
Their Instincts
Yes, their instincts are responsible for why they can be very emotional. Particularly, the maternal instinct can make them overly protective and have exaggerated responses to something a man will be cool with.
Every man has to understand this or else there will be unnecessary issues here and there.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
2. Past Traumatic Event
If there has been some traumatic experience while growing up, especially if it has to do with some form of abuse, this can affect responses to people and issues. It would be so subtle that it wouldn’t be noticeable, but it would be there.
As the man, you must be willing to lovingly help out till there is total healing in the emotions.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
3. Their Hormones
Estrogen hormones can cause fluctuations. When there is a surge of this hormone, several emotions can run, fly, swim and do all together at the same time.
They become even more emotional during their cycles and there are different things that happen during this time. Some women can be in pain for a whole week because of this while some just breeze through like nothing is happening! Hormonal imbalance can add more to the waterworks.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
4. Women use their brains more
Men use the left side of their brains, which is why they are logical. Women use both sides of the brain! They can interpret situations in more depth than men!
They feel more, they sense things more, and little things affect them more.
Rather than the man saying something like” Why would this small thing make you cry or withdrawn? The wise man should show empathy.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
5. Their Stress Level
When someone is feeling stressed, the Oxytocin hormone is released. When a man is stressed, their testosterone reduces the effects of oxytocin, which makes them aggressive and angry.
However, women have Estrogen, which enhances oxytocin. When this happens, the effects make her feel calm and caring.
Men hardly express their feelings and thoughts, so they react with anger or aggression. Instead of solving things by talking, they are always ready to “fight.”
On the other hand, women tend to want to talk it out so they can express their feelings that way.
Men feel like fighting their way out of their problems. Women want to talk their way out of any problem.
I Want To Apologize! Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary! God has been good! It has been an interesting journey! There have been ups and downs, but God has taken all the glory all the way! It has been stormy, windy, and dusty, but we are still here, serving the Lord, joyfully and tenaciously holding on to the call.
This morning, I want to apologize!
It’s been 23 years! God is good!
Wow, Pastor has done something really terrible? Well, we’ll see! You love “jist” and you want to know what Pastor has done? See how you are glued to your phone and reading with all rapt attention! lol… sometimes your spouse needs that kind of attention!
This morning, I want to quickly address married couples and singles! I want to bring out some choice words from the intricacies of my heart this morning as we take the 23rd floor of the marital mansion!
Back to my apology! I want to apologize to all the wives on KHC and beyond…
To all the wives, I want to apologize on behalf of your husband. I know some of you are hurt, oh…hurt is an understatement. Deeply hurt and intensely too. You’ve been keeping on the appearances, just going through the religious and domestic motions…but very disappointed and lacking energy within. Hurt and bitter. It’s just that you can’t get better by being bitter! You’ve attempted to cover the tears with powder and pomade. I want to say sorry! You have hibernated into your shell and withdrawn your affection! Sorry! Perhaps, you have begun or beginning to channel your thoughts to another…hey! It’s a trap to entangle your soul!
To all husbands, I want to apologize on behalf of your wives! She may not even know she has offended you, but you are withdrawn emotionally and just acting alone. You are succumbing to the trap of the stranger’s bosom gradually! Hey! It’s not the way to go! It’s the way of ruin! Focus only on her breasts…that is what you are covenanted to!
You have been disrespected and she doesn’t seem to understand! Sorry! You are the man! Brace up and give leadership by forgiving. Show the way by being faithful to the wife of your youth!
To all singles, I want to apologize to God! Many singles who are in “courtship” have deserted the “ship” and only “court” is left, courting disaster! Lord, I say sorry!
The bed has been desecrated, without remorse! It has become a form of greeting yourselves! This is not the faith handed over to us! Sex has become the sustenance of courtship, the spree is unending! Oral sex is the norm and you crave for the taste…how that is held confidently in private and microphone held in public day after day without a dint of repentance requires your pause, stop and return to the Almighty, for you have left Him for too long, and things go awry for those who leave Him!
Shall we enter the room of kinky sex and BDSM? Oh no, that is a forbidden area, akin to the evil forest of the olden days that no Homo Sapien is authorized to trudge!
Dear wife, he is sorry! Find a place for forgiveness, that you do not become headless!
Dear husband, she is sorry! Embrace her, and let her be your help and not your hell.
Dear singles, it’s time to say to your Lord and the lover of your soul, we are sorry! It’s time to make amendments and follow the book! God loves you and will forgive all misdemeanors and won’t even remember again upon repentance!
Let the turnaround begin in our relationships! Let the healing begin in our marriage! This is my prayer for you as we celebrate our 23rd anniversary today!
My family with the Ekines
May God bless you today and always! Don’t forget to share this devotional on Facebook, WhatsApp, and groups if it blesses you!
Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage. George and Sally fell in love with each other. They were so happy, they knew God was in it. They had prayed, fasted, and involved their pastors along. They were so sure it is going to be a time of heaven on earth.
Sally had a lot of childhood expectations for herself and the love of her life. She had plans and had her imagination filled with how they would live together in courtship. To her greatest surprise, not too long into their courtship, they started having clashes.
George was insensitive with his words and often passed unpleasant jokes and comments about Sally. Sally on the other hand was being overly sensitive. This continued for a long time until they both began to contemplate going their separate ways.
It was a rude shock to Sally that despite being in the center of God’s will they still have issues. The problem is that she is not even sure what she is doing wrong. If she must save her courtship she must know how to handle issues between them.
She decided to write out the things they were doing wrong in their courtship. She came up with the following.
Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage
They were shouting at each other.
They were accusing each other.
They were full of retaliation.
Rather than listen to one another, they would defend themselves.
They both wanted to win the argument.
They were fond of reporting one another.
They will keep malice for days and they both found it difficult to forgive and let go. After writing about all the problems they were facing in their relationship, She had a light bulb moment. Those were the things they should never do to each other. They must find a way to eliminate and handle the issues correctly.
On the other hand, the Johnsons have been married for three years and their marriage seems to go through high waters. They seem to argue over everything. It didn’t look like they went through courtship. Their differences seem so much and they don’t know how to manage them. Mrs. Johnson could not take any of these again, it was already affecting her health. They tried a few times to stop the incessant quarrels but soon they were back to square one.
There were times it got so bad, and other times they tried managing themselves. What could be wrong with us? She started to ask some questions. As she sat before me, I proffered some solutions to their issues. Here are some things she learned.
Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage
Be positive. Think good of each other. Don’t assume.
Identify the problem. Do not muddle things up
Never attack your spouse. You’re a team.
Express your feelings in love. Be considerate
See any mistake as our mistake.
Never be too big to apologize.
Be prayerful and learn to talk to God
Seek a professional counselor, not a family member to help resolve the conflict.
With these tips, she and her husband are on their way to recovering their marriage. Mrs. Johnson was determined more than ever before to do everything in her path to enjoy bliss in her marriage.
In the same way, we must be determined to seek help and do all we can to ensure our marriage is great! Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage
How To Understand That Special Gender. Mrs. Johnson has just arrived from the salon where she had gone to make her hair. Mr. Johnson is in the living room, relaxing and watching the Television.
Mrs. Johnson: (knocks on the door) Mr. Johnson: Who is that? Mrs. Johnson: My dear, it’s me! Mr. Johnson: (Stands up and opens the door, takes a look at his wife, and then his countenance changes)Mrs. Johnson: What is it dear? Mr. Johnson: What is this on your head? Mrs. Johnson: (She didn’t answer, but walked past) Mr. Johnson: What kind of useless hairstyle is this? Mrs. Johnson: But it’s fine now? Mr. Johnson: You have no mirror, right, this thing on your head that makes your head look like that of a chicken?
Well, Mr. Johnson thinks he is being blunt, but he is actually foolish and unwise. Now, this kind of conversation or communication will devastate any woman. It would even be worse if her love language is “words of affirmation.”
It is okay for Mr. Johnson not to like a particular hairstyle. But it is wisdom for him to have first looked at the many hours spent fixing that hair and appreciated that first. After a week or so, he can just give her some money and ask her to change her hairstyle. That is wiser, simpler, and would save the marriage.
What is the point of being in strife because of hairstyle? This is just one of many examples.
In the school of relationships and marriage, communication is the core curriculum. Communication is so important.
How To Understand That Special Gender. Now, there is no effective communication without a language. Even in non-verbal communication, there is “language”
Language is so important that it was the only thing that God needed to tamper with when the human race got ambitious and wanted to build a tower that would reach into the heavens.
God, Himself looked down and said these people are going to succeed because they have “one language”
“And the Lord said, Behold, they are one people and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do, and now nothing they have imagined they can do will be impossible for them.” (Gen 11:6, AMP)
The only thing God could do to stop their ambition was to garble their language. And that was what He did. The moment they could not understand themselves, the project was impeded and subsequently suspended.
What does that tell you?
When you don’t speak the proper language, a relationship or marriage will have serious issues.
Good and constant communication is the oxygen that relationships and marriage need.
The tower of Babel came to a halt. God simply “scattered” their language.
However, at Pentecost, there was the restoration of languages.
“Then how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own (particular) dialect to which we were born?” (Act 2:8, AMP)
At Pentecost, they heard themselves in the languages they understood most!
From these, we can see how important languages can be even in the things of the Spirit, how much more in a love relationship?
If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, what it means is that she doesn’t really sense any love until you affirm her with words.
The moment you keep ignoring this language, she will never be happy. Love languages are like passwords, so learn to speak her love language.
The greatest mistake is to keep speaking the direct opposite of her love language, which is critical words!
When you keep on doing this carelessly, you will never have the best of her. You may not notice much in courtship, but in marriage, she will never be happy. And that will affect a lot of things.
How To Understand That Special Gender. God wants you to make each other happy. Whenever any of you is unhappy, it can affect or hinder your prayers.
In a relationship or marriage, ladies get hurt through “insignificant issues” These issues are insignificant to men, but they are pertinent issues to them.
A successful relationship or marriage is about understanding the other person and trying to please him or her without displeasing God. That is what makes it work.
If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, you have to go out of your way to speak her language.
I am sorry. God bless you. Thank you. You are beautiful You are the best. You are the greatest thing that has happened to me. You are God’s greatest gift to me. Anytime I think about you, I cannot but thank God for His favour on my life. Since I met you, my life has never been the same. You are a fresh breath into my life.
I love this food. You are so great at anything you do!
I once heard Dr. Albert Oduwole said that it takes nine affirming words from you before criticism can be well received! Learn from that.
Words mean a lot to women. Words are powerful.
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” (Pro 16:24, KJV)
But there are also words that can bring bitterness to a lady. Avoid speaking those words to your loved one! Be wise.
You are just stupid! You are a dunce! I regret the day I met you! You are a strange woman, you’ve brought bad luck into my life. You are so ugly, I am just managing you! And so on.
Those kinds of words will tear any relationship or marriage apart. It is a matter of time.
Find out what her love language is and keep speaking that language. It will eliminate a lot of unnecessary friction.
Read this slowly as I conclude this morning:
“The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here’s what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful;” (1Pe 3:7-10, MSG)
Did you get blessed, go ahead and share! How To Understand That Special Gender
The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse. Sally and George talked into the night. The love between them was palpable. As they gazed away at the sky dotted with stars that seem to cooperate with their emotions, Sally turned and looked at George. George was expecting a kiss. At last, she was going to yield.
Thoughts raced through his mind. The earth seems to stand still. George has been transported away in the rapturous romantic setting as he imagined what it would be like locking lips with Sally…and he was enjoying it until his fantasy was rudely interrupted by a question from Sally,
He woke up from his fantasy adventure, rather disappointed.
“George, what do you think would be your greatest investment into my life?”
“Hmmm…”
George had no idea what response Sally wanted exactly and he didn’t want to say something that will douse the romantic fire of the night.
“It would be your quest for knowledge. It would be an ongoing investment in your mind! Sally said.
Chai! This girl doesn’t know the times and seasons at all! George thought!
He sheepishly nodded his head in agreement with what Sally said. “Yes, the mind!” He said.
The Johnsons, who got married a few years back have not been enjoying their marriage as they expected. They couldn’t place their hands on what could be wrong.
Rather than search for answers, they kept on blaming themselves. The quarrels became incessant.
The reality is that every couple comes into the marriage with their baggage. These items of baggage are filled with experiences, opinions, outlooks, and so on.
However, the place of marriage is a place of learning and unlearning!
You have to be open to knowing more and also realize that you don’t know a lot!
What is The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse?
It is your quest to know more that ensures you will keep working on your marriage, making adjustments, and investing heavily in knowing more! This is The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse
Who is that woman you are married to?
Who is that man you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Who is that guy you are walking the aisle with?
Who is that lady that will bear your children and be their mother?
How can you keep pleasing each other?
Like the scriptures says:
Pro 1:20-23 (AMPC) Wisdom cries aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the markets; [21] She cries at the head of the noisy intersections [in the chief gathering places]; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks: [22] How long, O simple ones [open to evil], will you love being simple? And the scoffers delight in scoffing and [self-confident] fools hate knowledge? [23] If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you.
Wisdom is everywhere. They are in the books. They are encapsulated in people around you!
This is what Kisses and Huggs Club devotionals attempt to do. To daily bring the wisdom of God to you for your relationships and marriage! Bringing to you The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse on a daily basis
Make up your mind to invest in your relationship and marriage today! It is The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse
Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties. Sally and George have been engaged for only three months. But in the short time they were together, they could not remember as many times as they had been intimate. When they quarreled after three months, they parted ways and went differently.
Somehow they kept thinking of each other. They had moved on differently and each of them even have new relationships but they kept on thinking of each other.
What happened to them? Why couldn’t they move on? Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
The Johnsons, on the other hand, married a few months back and have their issues as well. Mr. Johnson couldn’t enjoy intimacy with his wife without importing the thoughts and images of his exes. He would have to disconnect from his wife and reconnect in his mind to a certain ex before he can reach the crescendo.
What was his issue? Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
Sexual intimacy is created by God for your enjoyment and to bring you closer to marriage. It is the highest level of knowing your spouse. God is so particular about it that He said you must not deny or defraud each other. In other words, satisfy each other.
As a matter of fact, when you starve each other of this great blessing that God has afforded you, you actually make yourselves vulnerable. And the devil is quick to set up such traps in offices and anywhere. So, married couples, learn to satisfy each other, that is exactly what God wants.
The issue that Mr.Johnson has is called soul ties with previous lovers.
For Sally and George, the reality is that they have what is called a “soul tie!”
This is what pre-marital intimacy does! How does this happen? Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
In marriage, it brings a bonding between the couple, because that is one of the purposes of intimacy. It cements the couple and joins them together at the highest possible level. Their souls become knitted together. They become one. They are glued together, and God says nobody should put them asunder.
But in intimacy outside marriage, there is also a bonding. It is just that it is another kind of bonding. It is an illegal bonding that gives access to the operation of demonic entities in one’s life. It is called soul ties.
This is what the scripture is talking about here:
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.” (1Co 6:15-16, KJV)
Can you see that?
In pre-marital intimacy, the two people also become one body! They are not married, but there is an illegal bonding that gives access to legal operations of demonic activities because of disobedience.
Message Translation puts it this way:
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”” (1Co 6:16, MSG)
So we see that this is spiritual. As a matter of fact, when you get involved with someone, you are actually having intimacy with everybody that person has had intimacy with! It is not uncommon to see a person suddenly stealing after being intimate with someone that steals!
There is nothing like casual sex. Nothing is casual about it, it is spiritual. There is nothing like a one-night stand. One night stand can lead to an eternity of woes and damnation.
There is nothing like a quickie outside marriage. One quickie and one’s destiny can be quickly set back by five years or more!
This is just the reality! Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
How do you break soul ties from past sexual mistakes?
1. Ask God to forgive you for the mistake 2. Repent and make up your mind not to do it again. 3. Fast and pray and ask God to severe every bonding and soul ties 4. Disconnect from such a person. Stop all the calls and chats 5. Psalm 23 says, “He restoreth my soul!” Ask God to restore your soul 6. Stop living in sin. Jesus told that woman, “Go and sin no more!” 7. Patiently wait for the salvation of God in your relationship. Don’t be hasty. Cooperate with God’s plan. 8. Believe that God has a plan for you and that the plan will become a reality. 9. Keep reading and studying God’s word. Your mind will be renewed over time. For example, if you can follow this devotional consistently, your mind will be renewed in this area and you will get to know a lot of things and be prepared for marriage and as married. A lot of people have testified to that.
I pray for you this morning that God will grant you more understanding.
Right now, I break every form of soul ties that may exist in Jesus’ name. I destroy every plan of hell over your destiny, I declare you free from consequences of past mistakes and I ask in the name of Jesus and by the power of the Holy Spirit that your soul be restored now to God’s desire for you as an individual and in your relationship/marriage….in Jesus name! Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
This Is For Every Lady And Wife. Yesterday, I started writing about how to know if he will not marry you. I will conclude today and I will be writing to singles and married.
4. Authority figures are involved
This Is For Every Lady And Wife
For wives, the greatest thing you can encourage your husband to do is to make sure he submits to at least one authority figure! Such a person will be a mutual mentor to both of you whom you can listen to. There will be days you will need somebody like that to speak into your lives.
Singles, you can be very sure he will not marry you eventually if he avoids any authority figures in your plans.
“Don’t let’s talk to our parents now.”
“I don’t want pastors to know for now.”
“Let’s keep this between the two of us only.”
A relationship like this that is isolated and exists only between the two of you is the easiest to end. This Is For Every Lady And Wife
5. Perpetual life of unfaithfulness
Dear wives, do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? Your response is important at this time.
Fighting, resorting to anger, retaliating by going out too, and such attitudes would not help. The best you can do is to have your spouse’s back which will begin with him being sincere! Sincerity shows a window for repentance. Denial is a bad sign. Talk. Communicate. Seek help.
“But pastor I don’t want to expose him?”
Well, he will soon expose you if you are not careful and everybody will blame you why you kept quiet and allowing fire to keep burning on the roof of your house!
For singles, you have discovered more than once that he is cheating on you. He keeps begging you that he won’t do it again. But you keep discovering from time to time.
The question is what are you doing with such a person? It is just a matter of time. If somebody is committed to you, he will focus on you.
Let’s even assume he gets married to you. He has been trained to be unfaithful, so you will need to live with that.
And then when you catch him again after marriage, he drops the bomb,
“But you know me before you got married to me! These girls are always disturbing me, what do you want me to do?”
He just told you that you will have to live with it.
May God bless our relationships and marriages. This Is For Every Lady And Wife
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You. Sally was downcast. Her whole world seemed to have fallen apart. In the past few hours, she has wept, lamented, and even considered suicide.
She could not believe what happened earlier in the day. Her husband-to-be, whom she loved unreservedly with all her heart, told her that he is no longer interested in marriage.
No reasons, no explanation, and that was it.
For once, she regretted that she allowed him to have sex with her severally. She felt so used and dumped that she couldn’t even pray. She felt small to even approach God in the place of prayers.
She thought about the mockery that would attend to her from friends and foes. She really loved Ade, and there was nothing that suggested that he would make such a shocking decision.
As she sat before the mirror in her room, she suddenly hated the whole idea of marriage. She looked at herself and concluded, “Maybe I am not beautiful enough.”
She even hated God as well. Why would God allow such a thing to happen to her, of all people?
What Sally doesn’t know is that the tell-tale signs have always been there that something like that would happen, but she didn’t take heed.
The second thing she doesn’t know is that pre-marital sex brings confusion into a relationship and you lose your sense of judgment and discernment because of illegal bonding and soul ties.
What are some of the tell-tale signs that a man would dump you later? What are the subtle signs?
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You. I will be talking to singles and married.
1. He will keep on telling you what you want to hear in order to keep you as long as he wants
He has your password. He knows what to say to keep you begging when there are quarrels even when he is obviously in the wrong. He knows how to manipulate your emotions to his advantage. He will always tell you what you need to hear. In fact, he enjoys quarreling with you because he knows you will always come begging, and begging will always culminate in sex
Ladies that fall to this gimmick often have low self-esteem. The guy is logical and he can see that, so he starts feeding that self-esteem in order to keep getting sex
For married couples, you must keep keep telling each the truth, but in love! Be naked before each other and don’t entertain sinister thoughts about each other because of hurts
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You
2. He will evade discussions on wedding plans
He will try as much as possible to evade discussions on wedding plans. If you trouble him enough, he will give you a date that he would not be committed to.
One other way he does that is to get angry whenever you raise the issue of a wedding and settling down.
Since you love him and you don’t want him to get angry again, you too will avoid it as much as possible discussing such again.
It is a sign that anything can happen.
For married, do not evade meaningful discussions. This is the oil of your marital engine. Keep on talking and don’t increase your vulnerabilities with silence and withdrawal
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You
3. He will never make commitments
When you ask him directly about plans, he will tactically avoid your question with no direct answers. You will spend two hours talking and yet there is no headway. He knows what he is doing. His mind is not made up.
When a guy’s mind is not made up, he would not talk, or at most he would tell you lies.
And because you are in love, you so easily believe the lies. But if you think deeply, you will know that something is wrong somewhere.
Married couples, be committed to each other! Focus on one another as no other person exists. Please each other after pleasing God! May God bless your marriage!
Mercy Said No! Listen to me, you are a candidate for God’s mercy, as long as you are God’s child.
Thank God for His mercies.
Do you remember that song by CeCe Winans? “Mercy said No”
The devil said you will not live long, but mercy said “No!” The devil said you won’t get married, but mercy said “No!” The devil said you won’t have children, but mercy said “No!”
As a young man preparing for marriage in the nineties, the devil said to me, that I would not be able to father children, but mercy said “No!” Today, God has given us three boys! Mercy Said No!
The devil told Joseph he won’t realize his dreams, but mercy said “No!
The devil wanted to snuff out the life of Jesus as a baby, but mercy said “No!”
At a time, it looked like it was over for me in ministry when I made a decision to quit pastoring a local assembly and obey God in starting an online ministry, and I thought it was over too, but mercy said “No!”
They said you will not graduate, but mercy said “No!”
They said you are good for nothing, but mercy said “No!
They said you are not fine, but mercy said “No!” You ended up getting a fine spouse!
They said you will be poor forever, but mercy said “No!”
The devil thought he would end your life because of that mistake you made, but mercy said “No!”
The prodigal son thought it was over for him as he ate the portion that belonged to the pigs, but mercy said “No!
They threw Apostle John into a drum of boiling oil, to fry him alive but mercy said “No!” He just wouldn’t die!
Listen to me, it is too late for the devil. Mercy covers you. Mercy is speaking for you before God. Jesus took His blood, the offering carried by the offerer, and sprinkled all of it on the mercy seat, just because of you.
Where are you this morning? Let the mercy of God locate you. Let that mercy speak for you!
I see God’s mercy bailing you out. Yes, you messed up quite alright, but His mercy will bring out a message from that mess.
Let hope come alive in your spirit this morning. Mercy is here! Mercy is for you and that mercy is holding you by the hand.
“ARISE [ from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you—rise to a new life ]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you! [ Zec 8:23 ]” (Isa 60:1, AMP)
Arise Now! It is not over. That jilting experience cannot define you. That abandonment does not qualify you, because of His Mercies! What if you lost all the money? Start over because of His Mercies!
Rise to a new life! I curse that spirit of depression and despondency right now that seeks to pull your head down! Rise up into the newness of God and Shine!
How To Stop Negative Thoughts. How do you stop negative thoughts from ruining your relationship or marriage as single or married? Too many a relationship and marriages have been ruined by the kinds of thoughts that were entertained.
Thoughts are so powerful that they will eventually overwhelm your life and give your life direction.
Thoughts can be so healthy that they would drive sicknesses away. Thoughts can be so sickening to the point of physical paralysis.
How do you convince a man or woman to become a suicide bomber? They simply work on the thought realm. Once the person embraces the proposition in the thought realm, the rest is easy.
Why would a man jump into a river, commit suicide, and end it all? He has first done so in the thought realm, he only acted out what he had done.
Such is the power of your mind.
No wonder, the method through which God will change you daily into becoming who He wants you to be is through the renewal of your mind.
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Rom 12:2, KJV)
Transformation comes as a child of God as you read, study, and meditate on God’s word.
In the same way, the method that the devil would use if he wants to ruin a relationship or marriage is through thoughts. Precisely, negative thoughts and lies!
All the quarrels in a relationship and marriage first of all start in your thoughts. When you are negative-minded and full of doubts and mistrust, the relationship or marriage in question will be shaky.
When you are negative-minded, you will misinterpret every effort of your spouse. You will suspect every move and you will not give your spouse breathing space.
The next question is how do you stop negative thoughts?
Let’s take a look at the process.
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” (2Co 10:3-5, KJV)
1. “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh Negative thoughts are not just about temperaments. It is beyond that. Never ever say something like, “that is how I am, I always think negatively.” You must wake up to the reality that the spirit realm exists and negative forces would often try to influence your thinking culture.
2. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. We cannot solve the problems of negative thoughts by some psychology or some set of therapies alone, we have to look up to God and make use of the weapons of our warfare. This is because you are dealing with strongholds in the mind. What are the weapons of our warfare? God’s word, praying in the spirit, the blood of Jesus, and so on.
3. Casting down imaginations Negative imaginations will come. Negative suggestions will come, but we must cast them down.
These negative thoughts seek to ride you over, they want to get on top of your thought center, but what does the scripture say? You cast them down!
You deliberately refuse these lies of the devil that he is trying to suggest to your mind. You say with your mouth, “you negative thought, I cast you down in Jesus’ name!
It is not a once and for all exercise, because the devil will not relent in bringing those thoughts. So you keep at it. That is why it says, “Casting…”
4. And every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God That is how you identify negative thoughts. Those thoughts try to exalt themselves against the knowledge of God’s word. They will challenge the truth of God’s word. For example, a thought that comes that, “There is nothing wrong in having pre-marital sex, everybody does it,” is trying to exalt itself against the knowledge of God’s word. You cast it down!
5. And bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ Every thought that comes, you bring into captivity. How do you do that? It means to arrest. You arrest every thought and put it captive under God’s word. You use the word of God to judge it. The word will either condemn such words and sentence them into oblivion or acquit such thought as healthy.
Before you act out any thought. arrest it and bring it captive with God’s word. That way, you will deal with negative thoughts and dwell more on God’s word which will advance your relationship, marriage, and life.
I pray for you this morning, every power of negative thoughts in your life is hereby crushed in Jesus’ name.
All Things Will Be Well. A lady sat before me some three years ago. She told me how nobody ever asks her out. She is worried and thinks there is a curse somewhere. She felt it is abnormal that nobody ever asks her out. I looked at her and told her there was no curse anywhere. I further told her that she would marry a Pastor! She laughed in disbelief. Well today, she is married to a Pastor and with a baby as well.
Pastor, I don’t know what is going on in my life. I don’t understand again. Nothing seems to be working! You know what? God said I should tell you this morning, All things will be well!
2Ki 4:26 (KJV) Run now, I pray thee, to meet her, and say unto her, Is it well with thee? is it well with thy husband? is it well with the child? And she answered, It is well.
Learn to declare it is well regardless of what you are going through! All Things Will Be Well.
Psa 107:1-2 (KJV) O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. [2] Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
You’ve got to keep declaring that all is well. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so! You will eventually have what you say!
Never give in to negative words! Your words are powerful! Where you are today is a snapshot of your words and thoughts in the past!
Declare words into your future. Declare words into your relationship, wedding day, and or marriage!
Declare words over your spouse and children!
Declare words concerning the fruit of the womb and never give in to depression or despondency!
As you do so, you will see the travail of your hearts! I pray for you this morning, God will honor your words in Jesus’ name! All Things Will Be Well.
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Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? The referee wields a lot of power in the football game. He is the arbitrator and he decides what is clearly a goal or what is a foul.
In life and marriage, there are goals and there are fouls.
When you play to the rule of the game, you will score and your courtship or relationship will lead to marriage.
But when you contravene the rules of the game, it becomes a foul, and the game is affected.
In relationships, there are things God wants and there are things He doesn’t want. They are all clearly spelled out in the scriptures.
Pre-marital sex for example is a foul in the game. It affects the game, really. You lose God’s favour and support when you do what you are not supposed to do. One will just be dribbling up and down with no goal to show for it.
In marriage, being unfaithful to your spouse for whatever reason is a foul. It will tamper with the marital covenant and the consequences are rife.
Thank God because He is a forgiving God and He will forgive and forget when you repent genuinely.
The Bible talks about umpire or referee. Take a look.
“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [ deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state ] to which as [ members of Christ’s ] one body you were also called [ to live ]. And be thankful (appreciative), [ giving praise to God always ].” (Col 3:15, AMP)
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? Do you have questions arising about who to marry? Are you unsure whether he is the one or whether she is the right person?
Do you have anxieties about what to do as a married man or woman or what career path to follow?
The scripture says that there is something that can settle with all finality and tell you exactly what to do.
This is what is called the peace of God.
The presence of this peace tells you that you are taking the right decision.
The absence of this peace tells you that you are about taking a wrong decision or you are already in the wrong decision.
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? What are the feelings you have when there is peace of God about a decision?
1. You will have a feeling of “all is well.” 2. You will have a deep sense of wholeness and assurance that God is with you. 3. You will have an unexplainable calmness that you are taking the right decision
Why do I say unexplainable?
Here it is:
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, KJV)
It passes all understanding. It cannot be logically decoded, in fact, it oftentimes defies logic.
It may be difficult to explain, but you will know it is there.
That is what happens when you don’t like the financial status of a loved one, yet you feel the peace of God that all will be well.
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? The next question is what feelings do you have when the peace of God is not there?
1. You will have a feeling of “all is not well.” 2. You will have a red card issued in your heart just like the referee issues a red card in a match. 3. You will have unexplainable fear about your decision. 4. Each time you think about the decision, you will have an uneasy feeling.
This is like the feeling you have when all seems set in terms of finances, and the job security of the person you are considering, and yet, this fear that something is wrong deep in your belly exists.
Never ever ignore this feeling. Never ignore the referee!
You see, as a child of God, He doesn’t want evil to befall you, so He will warn you before taking a decision that would not end well.
The peace of God within you shows you His will for you. He leads you into His will by His peace.
What happens when you can’t sense anything or when emotions have taken over and you cannot hear God?
You will need to separate yourself in the place of prayer with fasting and then, you will surely hear God. You will also need to fill yourself with God’s word regularly.
If you are already married, and you feel you are outside of God’s will, the immediate thing to do is not to walk away from your marriage but to commit it into God’s hands for His intervention.
Trust me, God answers prayers, when you believe.
I pray that God will give us more understanding on this subject. Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me?
God’s Leading And Who To Marry. Sally wanted what would prevent her from falling in love with the wrong person and wasting her time on what is not going to work. She wanted to save her emotions from roller-coaster rides that lead nowhere. She doesn’t want to spend so much time and resources with George for years and then discovers she’s been hobnobbing with the wrong person.
Note that the wrong guy or lady is not always a bad person. Someone can be so cool, gentle, born again and spirit filled and yet not meant for you. Mr. Good is not always Mr.Right, but Mr. Bad would never be Mr.Right.
So, the question of praying over an unbeliever is out of it, the scripture is clear on that.
Why should I expect to be led before deciding on my choice of who to marry? God’s Leading And Who To Marry
He promised to lead us!
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. (Romans 8:14 KJV)
You know you are a son or a daughter of God because you are led.
You know you have a relationship with God when He leads you.
The next question is how does God lead?
If I can know how God leads, then I will be able to follow Him. Wouldn’t it be nice to know the wrong man or the wrong lady right away?
What is God’s leading as it relates to relationships and marriage?
God can lead you into a relationship without hearing a single voice or seeing any vision!
The way you will be led is the same way you know you are a child of God!
How are you sure you are born again? How do you know Jesus Christ really came and died for you? How do you know there is a heaven and God is there and Jesus is seated with Him? Have you been there? Did you see Him? You didn’t see Him and meet Him one on one! But the reality of His existence is so deep within you that nobody can talk you out of it. How did you become so sure? It is so simple. The Spirit of God bears witness with your spirit that there is God. It is what is referred to as an inner witness.
Because you simply know within yourself that God is. You may not be able to prove it, but you just know in your ‘knower’ that God exists. You know in your ‘knower’ that Jesus died for your sins. You were not there in Golgotha with him physically, but you just know it happened deep within you.
That is what is referred to as an ‘Inner witness.’
It is an unexplainable knowing, a deep-seated assurance that resides within you!
Don’t let the devil come to you and tell you that the reason you have a troubled marriage is that you didn’t have any dreams or hear a voice!
Even if you have a hundred dreams, you are not supposed to take an action without that inner witness and God’s leading! You see, the devil can manipulate your dreams if you are not grounded, but He cannot manipulate your inner witness. It is either you have peace or you don’t have it about a decision.
This peace of God is what you have when you are being led by God and it is His will on a particular decision. When this peace is not there, then God is not leading you!
This is why it is important to seek God’s leading about a guy or lady before emotions get involved. God’s Leading And Who To Marry
See it described in the scripture
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 KJV)
I like it, particularly in the Amplified version
And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Did you see that? That peace of God, that transcends every understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds. Garrison! Mount guard! Those are military terms. That is exactly what happens when you allow the peace of God and you are led by Him. His leading is a like a soldier protecting you. Do you know why? God will never lead you wrong! Glory to God! He will not lead you into misery! Thank God for His leadership.
Let’s see one more scripture that describes this peace as I round up.
“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [ deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state ] to which as [ members of Christ’s ] one body you were also called [ to live ]. And be thankful (appreciative), [ giving praise to God always ].” (Col 3:15, AMP)
Did you see that? That peace acts as an umpire or a referee in your heart and decides or settles with all finality every question by reason of that peaceful state!
When peace is not there, and you have unexplainable fear, and red light in your heart, you should not go ahead even when everything looks perfect physically!
When everything looks like somehow in the physical, and yet you have peace, you have this feeling that all is well, that you are in His plan, that is a green light that God is leading you.
What if your emotions are already involved and you are unsure? Press the Pause button! Go into the place of prayer, fast, and pray in the spirit for a long time until your spirit can push emotions down and then pick a signal from God on what to do!
God is the one that can re-order our steps when we have made mistakes; He is the one that will lead us into our wealthy place. Stay with God and you will never regret it. Don’t be led by your feelings which can be fickle, be led by the Holy Spirit, and you will be protected! God’s Leading And Who To Marry
Should I Trust my Dreams? What do you do when you have dreams? Are dreams authentic enough to be acted upon?
I remember as a young man in my teen years, I was harassed with so many dreams. I was born again, but I didn’t know my rights. I would dream and find myself eating in dreams. I didn’t know whether it was negative or positive, but I was not fond of it at all.
I approached my pastors for help. They would pray but it continued. I met another pastor who said that I should forget about it and that maybe I didn’t eat well before I slept.
Another said if I take any deadly thing, it would not hurt me.
I believe all that, but I didn’t like that feeling. Should I Trust my Dreams?
One day, I got angry. I would have none of this again. I was a meeting as a University student. The Secretary General of the fellowship then (OVCF) was ministering in the person of Barrister Asorona Lawal.
Under a heavy anointing and word of knowledge, he called me out and said that oppression is over, waving his handkerchief at me.
And indeed, it was over. I use to read Psalm 91 every night then.
All those useless dreams stopped, in their place and I started dreaming about my future, about ministry, and about good things.
The reality was that I had a gift to dream. It is not one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but you see it is a vehicle for the gift of the Spirit. For example, a word of knowledge can come through the vehicle of a dream.
I continued to dream, but these were now revelatory dreams. I knew so much through dreams and visions of the night.
In my final years in the university, I had over a hundred dreams of seeing myself ministering in meetings, healing meetings, churches, crusades, and all that. That God was calling me was not in doubt.
Before I proposed to my wife, I dreamt about her over fifty times in a period of over a year in different ways that I was convinced she was the one meant for me.
I had dreams and revelations about anything and everything. I would see myself holding my meetings before the meeting and everything that would happen would have been acted out.
I had dreams about my siblings who wanted to take the wrong steps in marriage. I saw people before I met them.
Then there were times I would have dreams, that practically had no meaning.
I told you all that to let you know that dreams can come from three sources:
1. From God
2. From the devil
3. From you (from a multitude of thoughts)
Gen 37:9 (KJV) And he dreamed yet another dream…
Should I Trust my Dreams? God can reveal His heart to you concerning relationships and marriage, but you cannot rely on your dreams alone!
The primary way that God will lead you is through inner witness.
God can also warn you about taking the wrong step in relationships and marriage in dreams.
But listen to this. You cannot trust all your dreams when you are not filled with God’s word and God’s Spirit.
It is God’s word that can cleanse your dream life. If you are not grounded in the word, the devil will exploit that gift and send conflicting messages to get you confused.
That is why an unbeliever can often have revelatory dreams, but his dream life will be convoluted, with confusing signals because the God factor is missing in his life.
The baseline is this, whatever gift you have, you must stay and live in God’s word consistently to keep that gift untainted.
You cannot build your ministry, life, relationship, or marriage around a gift alone. You cannot go ahead and ask a lady out because of one dream.
Let the word of God stabilize your dream life.
And if you don’t dream at all, you are not less spiritual. You only need to discover the pattern through which God speaks to you and learn to rely more on the inner witness.
God doesn’t love those that dream more than those who don’t dream. God is not partial. Everybody can access God’s plan and heart through the Spirit of God and through that inner witness.
Let me conclude with this:
Never take a consequential decision because of just one dream. Always pray in the spirit about any dream and for God to tell you the full import of those dreams that can often come in symbols, puzzles, and parables.
I pray that God will grant you more understanding.
How To Overcome Fear. Sally and George are in courtship and looking forward to marriage. But Sade is full of fears and questions. Will I be able to give birth? Is marriage meant for me? Will I be rich or wallow in abject poverty? What will the future look like? Will I live long? Her questions are endless and unending, fueled by constant fear.
The Johnsons on the other hand are married, but John is not exempted from a morbid fear that literally gripped them by the jugular.
How To Overcome Fear Will our kids be safe in school? I hope my little girl will not be abused in school. Each time he drives on the ever-busy road to his work, incessant flashes of accident scenes involving him would persist. Fear would often grip him so much that he sometimes needed to wipe his brow in an air-conditioned car!
Fear is never fair. It is more than a feeling, it is a demonic grip. That is why there are thousands of different fears and an innumerable number of phobias that the devil uses to hold men to ransom.
Fear is bondage and some people are actually bound all their lifetime in this weapon that the devil often wields, especially the fear of death.
“And also that He might deliver and completely set free all those who through the [ haunting ] fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives.” (Heb 2:15, AMP)
The above scripture says as a child of God you have been delivered and COMPLETELY set free! In relationships and marriage, several fears come through the devil into our minds.
Never entertain them!
You see, the devil cannot impose anything on you unless you permit him by embracing fear through the fearful thoughts he suggests in your mind.
He comes around and tells you that you will never get married. You look at yourself at over thirty years of age, and then you believe the fear. The moment you believe that fear and embrace it, then it actually becomes your experience!
What are you supposed to do?
You are supposed to reject it and refuse it!
Refuse to be entangled! Take a look at the scripture here:
“IN [ this ] freedom Christ has made us free [ and completely liberated us ]; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery [ which you have once put off ].” (Gal 5:1, AMP)
In practical terms, you refuse his fears by confessing what God says! That is why your inner man must be filled with God’s word constantly. The word of God that you read daily is not for fun, rather it will infuse strength into you such that when the devil ones with his attacks, God’s word, and Spirit will raise a standard against it.
As a single guy, I was harassed daily with the fear that I would never be able to father children.
Thank God for the little I knew then. I ran into God’s word and searched for what God said about childbirth. That is how to deal with fear!
The devil said something about fear. But what did God say? Whose reports will you believe?
So I saw a scripture and I wrote it out and I kept saying that, it must have been millions of times.
“Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.” (Psa 128:3, KJV)
I said it so much until the fear was rendered null and void and I knew I would have children. I told my fiancee, then to keep confessing it without telling her why.
That is what God’s word does. It would fill you with hope and faith and when the devil comes with his fear, you will just laugh at his face!
God’s word works!
After the wedding, the first pregnancy we had actually went down in miscarriage and that fear returned. The devil told me, you see, it didn’t work! You are infertile and your wife is barren!
But I stood my ground! I went back into God’s word. I saw there that none shall be barren.
“there won’t be any miscarriages nor barren women in your land. I’ll make sure you live full and complete lives.” (Exo 23:26, MSG)
All the while, I never told my wife about the fear I had and constant fearful dreams about not having children. That fear persisted in my head, but I did not allow it to enter my heart.
Since it wasn’t in my heart, it couldn’t come out of my mouth, for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
I refuse to verbalize it. When you say something, you empower that fear. Rather than speak the fear, speak the word.
I simply went back into God’s word. That word never fails. And it didn’t fail us. Today, we have three, and we could have had more if we wanted.
Whatever fear you have can be dealt with this way, God’s word in your heart and in your mouth! It works. This is How To Overcome Fear
This morning, I curse the spirit of fear in your life! I proclaim you free in Jesus’ name from every weapon of the evil one. God’s word over your life will stand and you will have victory in Jesus’ name.
Knowing The Lover Who Is Spiritual. This morning, we continue from where we left off yesterday. How do you know the lover who is spiritual and the one who is not?
3. Availability and willingness to serve
What about the brother or sister that is always there to serve? Morning, afternoon, and evening, he or she is always there serving. Well, the thing is that there is something called “eye service!”
So, this is ruled out as well.
This cannot be exclusively used as a parameter for spirituality.
4. Closeness to Pastor
Brother George is so close to Pastor, which means he is very spiritual! Well, you cannot use that alone as a yardstick as well. Some of the closest people to pastors can be worse than unbelievers in their dispositions. Remember Judas was close the Jesus. He was a trusted ally and he was the treasurer, but the guy kept stealing!
5. Insight and Revelations
What about a brother or sister that can share revelations and has a lot of insights into the scriptures? Yes, it can often determine how spiritual but not always. I have seen some deeply insightful preachers who are unrepentant adulterers! I have seen some very religious habitual sinners who will give you insight into why they can fornicate and still be anointed.
6. Gifted and Talented
What if somebody is talented and gifted? He must be spiritual, maybe that is why God gave him or her so many talents. Well, some of the most gifted people are also some of the most careless I have seen. Their gifts become a source of pride and they easily become cocky, and there is nothing spiritual in being proud.
7. Niceness
What about those who are very nice? Does it mean that they are spiritual? Well, I have seen some unbelievers that are really nice as well. And again, being nice is not a fruit of the Spirit!
We can go on and on, but then what is the way to know and recognize a spiritual person?
Here is the answer. It is only by their heart! You know a person by the kind of heart that person has!
Every good thing that a man does comes from the heart. Every bad thing that a woman does comes from her heart.
” A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. ” (Luk 6:45, KJV)
Now, the challenge is that nobody can see a man’s heart! So what do you do? That is a huge dilemma, but there is a way out.
There are only two ways to know what is in a man’s heart.
1. Through God
Man looks outward, but God sees the heart. Go to God in prayer for who to get involved with
God can see the heart of everybody and anybody. He sees the future of the person. So when He leads you, He cannot lead you wrong. All the above qualities are good to watch out for, but ultimately, God’s direction is what you should follow.
It is only God that knows the one that seems spiritual but is as carnal as anybody can be. It is also God that knows the one that is seemingly carnal but will end up becoming a man of God or woman of God. Let God lead you.
2. Through words
The other way to know what is in the heart of man is what you see in the above verse: out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
Watch his or her words, those are exact pictures of what lies within. His words will betray him.
He or she might say he is joking, but the scripture warns about coarse joking.
For married couples, there are a few things you can do together that will help you grow more spiritually. Attend the same church regularly. Pray together. Share scriptures with each other. Exchange books and discuss them. Have a common mentor you see regularly.
How To Know The Spiritual Lover. This has been a pertinent and persistent question in the heart of many singles. How do you know a spiritual brother or sister?
In the multitudes of the people that attend a church, in their thousands, how do you know who is spiritual and who is right for you?
You’ll get to see different kinds of people in the church, the short, the tall, the dark-complexioned, the light-complexioned, the fat, the slim, the not too fat and not too slim, the quiet and the loud, and so on and so forth.
How do you choose?
How To Know The Spiritual Lover
1. Actions
Can you really get to know a spiritual person by his actions? He is always acting great and gentlemanly.
The problem here is that people can pretend. A lot of people can act and be dramatic to get what they want. So, actions are ruled out! You can’t really conclude about a person based on his actions alone. I have had a lot of young girls call me in regret that their husbands pretended during courtship but are now showing true colours. In effect, a lover can hide true colour with fake colour. It’s simple colour mixing!
How To Know The Spiritual Lover
2. Tongues
What about tongues? The other time, brother Zerubbabel ended his relationship with Sister Sube because Sister Sube’s tongues was always sounding like “Sandal” After waiting for Sister Sube’s tongue to improve for three months but without any noticeable change, he ended the relationship. His thought was that if she was at “Sandal, Sandal…” for months, when will she get to “Shoes!”
But the reality is that you cannot judge spirituality by how a tongue sounds. He that prays in an unknown tongue prays unto God, not unto you. He prays mysteries to God, not to please you. The tongue may sound like a monosyllable for years, but that does not make the person less spiritual than the person whose tongue sounds like a combination of German, Chinese, and Yoruba!
Many people “lose” their tongues quickly when they are faced with pressures. That is when you get to know who is really spiritual.
The one whose tongue is filled with rich vowels and doesn’t know how to cook or be courteous is carnal. Not spiritual at all.
After marriage, you will discover you are not as interested in tongues as you are in having a good spouse, a responsible husband, and a homely wife.
What is the purpose of a wife who speaks in tongues but is denying her husband sex all the time? Nothing spiritual about that!
What is the purpose of a husband who dutifully goes through morning devotion but will do afternoon chatting with different girls?
What is the purpose of being naked before God in prayer but also sending nudes to men?
How To Know The Spiritual Lover goes beyond listening to his or her tongues!
Stop listening to how tongues sound to deduce how spiritual a person is!
I will stop here this morning and continue tomorrow!
When You Hate The One You Love. It sounds like a contradiction, but in no way establishes its dubiety. It is not healthy, but it happens. Nobody wants it, but you sometimes find yourself at loggerheads and you yield to your flesh and just want to stay angry, bitter, and in strife, always to one’s detriment though.
The implications are rife. It doesn’t matter if it is between two people in courtship or between a married couple. The spiritual implications are weighty and are the same.
What could lead to times When You Hate The One You Love? Anything could have happened. Differences in temperament, upbringing, culture, environment, spiritual maturity, and exposure can often contribute to anger tantrums and quarrel spots.
However as a child of God, you cannot yield to the flesh all the time, or else a lot of things would be grounded in your life.
As a matter of fact, the scripture aptly says that your prayer can run aground with strife and bitterness.
“For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” (Jas 3:16, KJV)
A relationship or marriage that will succeed has to be devoid of strife.
When you make a decision to stay off strife as a single or married, you are actually bringing honour into your life. Take a look at the scripture:
” It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.” (Pro 20:3, KJV)
What leads to strife? When You Hate The One You Love.
Anger, quarrels, hurt, bitterness, unforgiving attitudes, and the like.
But Pastor, must I sweep things under the carpet just to avoid strife?
No!
So, what do you do?
Confront issues, but forgive quickly!
It is interesting, but really, we get hurt the most by the ones we love the most! We find ourselves momentarily hating the one we love.
Why is that?
The reason is obvious. With love comes trust. But when that trust is ruptured, the heart is punctured and the wound can be so deep because trust has been violated. The wound can be so deep that no balm can heal, but thank God there is a balm in Gilead!
Now, you need to analyze issues.
The event that led to mistrust, was it a genuine mistake or a deliberate habit being used to manipulate and toy with your emotions?
If an action is habitual, while you are the victim all the time and you are still single, the idea is not to keep forgiving and stay there until your esteem is completely plundered and your dignity is trampled. Sometimes, the way out of such strife as singles is to forgive the person and then end such relationships, because the person in view is far from repentance. The stark reality is that you can’t change anybody!
When they got in strife with Isaac over the well he dug, what did he do? He left them and moved on and eventually dug another well where there were no contentions.
“And Isaac’s servants digged in the valley, and found there a well of springing water. And the herdmen of Gerar did strive with Isaac’s herdmen, saying, The water is ours: and he called the name of the well Esek; because they strove with him. And they digged another well, and strove for that also: and he called the name of it Sitnah. And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the LORD hath made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.” (Gen 26:19-22, KJV)
It is only in marriage that you cannot just wake up and walk out of your matrimonial home over trivial issues. You are to stay there and fight for your marriage unless your life is threatened and you are no longer safe.
As singles, we must also know that the incessant strife and quarrels would be a result of either two things:
You are out of God’s will, so things are not working
You are in God’s will, so the devil is contending your togetherness.
The best thing to do in such scenarios is to go and pray and find out from God exactly what to do. This will then help you to pray and make your decisions.
As married couples, get your mentor or pastor involved, in prolonged anger and strife, sometimes what has been a persistent source of bickering in your home is just a statement away from its solution when you ask people ahead of you. This is what to do When You Hate The One You Love.
I pray for you this morning, may every storm in your relationship, marriage, and life be stilled in Jesus’ name!
Finish The Doubts! So how will Sally avoid doubts? How will she minimize doubts? This is our subject for discourse today as we continue from where we stopped yesterday.
Finish The Doubts!
1. The first thing to note is that you should never take a step until you are sure of God’s plan! That way, you are rock solid when doubt surfaces because you already know what you are doing. Let doubts come from a thousand ends, you remain steadfast because you already heard God and His word that you heard would stabilize you and become an anchor to your soul.
2. Don’t fall in love anyhow. Fall in love with common sense and with your eyes open.
3. Do not despise the wisdom of authority figures in your life. They may not always be right, but God can often use their voice to speak to you and keep you from making costly mistakes.
4. Read God’s word regularly. That is what will stabilize your soul. Pray as well and speak in tongues a lot.
What do you do if you are already in doubt?
1. Take time to go back to God in prayers and listen to Him talk to you again.
2. Fast if necessary and spend time in God’s presence until you hear Him
3. Clean up your life from all forms of sexual compromises. Pre-marital and other sexual sins will usually bring confusion and with confusion, there will be huge kettles of doubt in your mind.
4. If you are married and doubt keeps coming, the solution is not to walk out of your marriage. Instead, stay with your spouse and refuse to entertain doubts. Go to God in prayers and renew your covenant with God. See doubt as an attempt from the devil to render your prayers ineffective, so guard against it. Finish The Doubts!
Lastly, how can one be sure that a decision is of God?
The acid test is what is called “peace”
Take a look at this scripture:
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 KJV)
Amplified Version: “And God’s peace [ shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace ] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, AMP)
Did you see that? This peace that comes as an assurance of God’s voice concerning a decision will become like an army officer to your soul, It will mount guard and disallow any doubt from accessing your mind. Glory to God!
My prayer for you this morning is that you will indeed hear God. I speak against every confusion in your life, no more in Jesus’ name! I come against every plan of the devil, every intent of hell, every strategy of the evil one, no more in your life in Jesus’ name! Finish The Doubts!
I speak peace to every storm in marriages, and I pray for God’s divine intervention in Jesus’ name!
