How To Respect Your Man
There is a way to love him without unloving God. There is a way to love him and yet be godly. There is a way to make God happy while making him glad. How do you achieve that?
You see the moment you love him to the detriment of your relationship with God, things can really go awry.
Your goal is never to offend God in your bid to make him happy. Let’s take a look at a few things.
How To Respect Your Man
Respect
Col 3:18-19 (AMP)
Wives, be subject to your husbands [ subordinate and adapt yourselves to them ], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives [ be affectionate and sympathetic with them ] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.
Singles:
How To Respect Your Man
Respect is a major issue for men. An average man out there is egocentric. Your ego is always there even after giving your life to Jesus. There is nothing wrong with ego, but being overly egocentric is not too wise; especially when you take it out on her all the time. It is this issue of ego that men have that makes respect a big issue for them. It is not uncommon to hear from men, even when you are not yet married, “You don’t respect me!”
As singles, there should be a limit to which you can be subservient because you are not yet married. You see, until you are married properly, and legally, there are some things that should not be dabbled into. You cannot say in your bid to respect a husband-to-be, you now allow yourself to be trampled over. You cannot lose your virtue in your bid to respect your fiance. Let me explain further with an example. He wants sex. You know it is a sin and God frowns at it.
You are not being respectful when you cooperate with him to disobey God. That is not being respectful, that is being disobedient! You see, you cannot satisfy your fiance at the expense of God. If you try that, you are sowing the seeds that will truncate that very relationship. It is God that will keep your relationship up until your marriage, not your cooperation with sin.
Another example. He has a family function. He asks you to come over and be part of the function. Being your future husband, you obeyed. You went there, and it’s getting late and you ask where you will pass the night. He says you are sleeping over with him. You say, No, you are not yet married and he gets angry. At that point, you are either going to “respect” him or “respect” God!
To wrap this up, respect for him that translates to disrespect for God should never be entertained. Let your respect for him be guided by God’s word. Respect does not mean being stupid or foolish! Anything you try to do to respect him which translates to disrespecting God will backfire. It just won’t work out, and at the end of the day, all your bid to respect him will end in disrespect of your person.
Married Couples:
How To Respect Your Man
For married couples, it is also a major issue. The Bible advises that as a wife, you should submit to your own husband. Respect for your husband is not just a physical issue; it is a deeply spiritual issue. The devil knows this and capitalizes on it. As a wife, if your husband keeps saying you don’t respect him, don’t ignore it. You need to get to the root of it.
Usually, you will not agree with him when he says that and it even hurts you to hear that, but if he keeps saying that, you need to calm down and not flare up. Usually, men are thinkers, and before they say something, they have thought about it and concluded. Of course, their conclusions can be very selfish and wrong most times, but for peace to reign in your home, don’t ignore him when he says that.
What do you do if he keeps saying that and yet you can’t see what he is saying? As I said, men and women seem to be from different planets because they think and process differently. So, what you need to do is to seek to understand what he sees and wants in terms of respect.
What is the specific definition of respect for your husband?
Is it in terms of greeting and genuflecting when you greet? Is it in terms of cooking certain delicacies? Is it in terms of food is ready by the time he gets home? Is it in terms of your cooperation with him in spiritual things? Is it in terms of your willingness and excitement in bed? Is it in terms of your career and business? Is it in terms of the way you answer him back when he talks? Is it in terms of how you treat him in the presence of his friends or your own friends? Is it in terms of finances? Is it in terms of your spending habits? Is it in terms of how you treat the children? Is it in terms of the kinds of friends you keep? And the list goes on!
So you see, why the statement, “You don’t respect me!” should not be ignored? As couples, go out eating or when you are very relaxed, say something like this:
“Dear, You know I love you? I want you to know that. I know you often say that I don’t respect you, but I really want to make you happy. Do you know sometimes, I don’t really understand what you meant by that? Can you explain this to me further? How do you want me to respect you? Tell me in practical terms and give me examples if possible so that I can understand better. I don’t want anything coming in between us, you know you are my crown.”
When you say something like that, watch your tone and your countenance! Don’t raise your voice, maintain eye contact, smile all the while, and touch him while saying that. When he starts trying to explain, don’t get angry. That is not the time to get hurt over one use of a word; it is time to try to get what he is really trying to say. Even if he gets back to raising his voice while trying to explain, allow it, because that shows it is really a big issue for him, so absorb it because your goal is not to argue or defend yourself, it is your goal to let him explain so that you understand what he really wants.
After he is done, and you get what he is really saying, hold his hands and tell him, you are going to work at it. Tell him you will need his help by being patient and gentle with you. When you are done, ask him to pray for you! He might be shy or say he doesn’t know how to pray if that is the first time, but tell him you just want him to bless you because he is anointed as the head of the house.
As you do this, you will see some improvements. That statement, “You don’t respect me!” will gradually reduce with time.
Why I have gone to this extent to break it down? I am committed to the success of your relationship and marriage. It is my passion and assignment and God has given me tremendous grace to do that. I pray God will grant you grace to follow His principles which will ensure the success of your relationship/marriage.
How To Respect Your Man
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