Hey there, folks! Let’s dive into the wild world of in-law troubles, a topic that has wreaked havoc on marriages, especially in the vibrant African culture.
The Cultural Conundrum
You know, culture and ethnicity are like the spice of life, but hey, remember, the Gospel isn’t playing favorites with any of that. It’s like the GPS for life, guiding us through the twists and turns.
God’s Guidance
Now, picture this: scriptures standing tall as the beacon of truth, illuminating the path in the chaos of in-law drama. Ignore these divine principles, and you’re basically sending out invites for trouble – and who wants that?
God vs. Chaos
It’s a showdown, my friends. Your cultural beliefs on one side, and God’s word on the other. Who’s going to win? Well, hint: siding with culture might land you in the trouble zone.
Team God or Team Chaos
In the epic battle against in-law issues, husbands and wives, listen up – you’ve got two options. You either roll with God’s playbook or throw your own rulebook into the ring. Your call.
The In-Law Richter Scale
Now, let’s get real. The intensity of in-law challenges is like a rollercoaster, different for every marriage. Brace yourself and tackle it as a dynamic duo, because you’re in for a ride.
God’s Blueprint for Marriage
Enter Genesis 2:24, the ultimate relationship handbook. “A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.” Translation? Your spouse trumps all other ties.
Leaving and Cleaving 101
Husbands, pay attention. You’re not just physically leaving; you’re emotionally and spiritually detaching too. Your wife is now numero uno. It’s not just a suggestion; it’s a responsibility.
The Naked Truth
Hold on, we’re not getting scandalous here. According to Genesis, being “naked” means being open, vulnerable, without shame, but only with your spouse. No third parties allowed, folks!
No Man Should Put Asunder
Now, to Matthew 19:6, where God drops the mic: “What God has joined, let no man put asunder.” Translation? You’re a package deal now, and no meddling hands should break that bond. Not even in-laws
The United Front
Couples, listen close. In God’s eyes, you’re a tag team, a dynamic duo, one flesh. Anyone trying to split you apart is in for a serious reality check.
Parental Reality Check
Parents, you’re on notice too. No playing favorites, no picking sides. Both spouses are a package deal, and any attempt to treat them otherwise is a big no-no.
Diplomacy 101
Tackling in-law issues requires finesse. Let your parents know, with all the wisdom you can muster, that your spouse is the top person in your life. It’s not disrespect; it’s setting the right priorities.
Wisdom from Above
When in doubt, ask the big guy upstairs for wisdom. Never assume you’ve got it all figured out. Trust me, a bit of divine guidance can go a long way.
Alright, folks, that’s a wrap for today. Navigating in-law drama may be tricky, but with a sprinkle of divine wisdom and a dash of love, you can conquer it. Until next time, stay united and keep the love alive!
Gentlemen, buckle up because we’re about to dive into the heart of every woman’s secret desire. Picture this: a marriage counselor spills the beans that, for the ladies, hearing “I love you” is like getting a surprise bouquet on a random Tuesday.
One woman, frustrated with her love-deprived relationship, voiced her concerns. But, oh boy, did her husband take it to the next level! He hit the recording studio, creating a love symphony, a 70-minute ballad of “I love yous.” A CD was born, a declaration of affection on repeat.
Proudly presenting it to his wife, he said, “My pepperento potatoe,” play this anytime you need my dulcet tones.” And then, like a tragic romance novel twist, she shattered it and sent it airborne. The lesson here? A CD can’t replace the real deal.
Dear husbands, take note. Compliments from others should never outshine your love notes at home. Especially after childbirth and as the midlife roller coaster hits, your wife needs your affirmations more than ever. Mirrors might be close, but your words should be closer.
2. Hand in Hand, Heart in Heart at Church
Let’s talk about spiritual unity, where the bond is as unbreakable as a hymn sung together. As the head, you’re not just the CEO of your family but also the spiritual guide. Forget the separate pew routine; attend church, grow, study, and pray together for heaven’s sake.
It’s not just a Sunday thing; it’s a build-a-strong-marriage thing. Your responsibility? Spiritual leadership and direction. This isn’t about denominations; it’s about creating a sanctuary within your marriage.
3. Love, Don’t Lift Your Hands
Now, gentlemen, a crucial piece of advice: Never, and I mean never, raise your hands against your wife. This isn’t a suggestion; it’s a commandment in the Book of Marriage Wisdom.
“Yeah, but my wife is like a whirlwind of stubbornness, rudeness, and annoyance!” I hear you. But let me be crystal clear—violence is not the answer.
In the sacred scripture of 1 Peter 3:7, it’s written: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife…” Make a sacred vow, a covenant, that you’ll never harm her.
Commit to honoring, protecting, and cherishing her. As you do, watch God weave wonders into your marriage. May His blessings rain down on you, turning your love story into an epic tale of honor and fulfillment.
We explored the importance of not rebuffing your partner’s advances in our last discussion, and now, we delve into another vital aspect – the essence of respect.
1. Embrace the Power of Respect
The breakdown of numerous marriages can be attributed to a lack of respect from wives. Here’s a road map to infusing respect into your marriage.
Respect Within and Without
Extend your respect for your husband beyond the walls of your home. Let him feel honored and valued, reinforcing the notion that he is your king. This respect should be evident in your actions, words, and even disagreements.
Uphold His Honor
Even when faced with disagreements, supporting your husband sends a powerful message. Avoid undermining him in the presence of friends and family. The goal is to “finish” him with respect, creating an environment where he hesitates to offend.
Drawing inspiration from Ephesians 5:22 (AMPC), wives are encouraged to be submissive to their husbands as a service to the Lord. This underscores the importance of aligning marital dynamics with spiritual principles.
Avoiding vulgar language is a fundamental aspect of showing respect. Disparaging terms can erode the foundation of a relationship. Wise communication involves understanding your husband’s sensitivities and steering clear of derogatory remarks.
Decode His Language of Respect
Respecting your husband doesn’t imply living in fear; rather, it involves recognizing his preferences and understanding his interpretation of respect. This could range from small gestures to deferring to his decisions.
Defer and Allow
Letting your husband have the final say doesn’t diminish your role; instead, it establishes a healthy balance. Avoid constant arguments and the temptation to assume the role of the dominant partner.
Deliberate frustration, through tactics like silent treatment and mood swings, can strain a relationship. A husband who feels consistently respected is more likely to reciprocate with honor. Avoid gas-lighting and stonewalling.
8. Express Respect in Every Dimension
Respecting your husband isn’t confined to words alone; it permeates your actions, body language, and attitudes. Balancing respect for your spiritual leaders with the reverence you show your husband at home is pivotal.
Pleasing Your Husband Over Others
Never prioritize pleasing others at the expense of your husband’s happiness. Understanding and respecting his desires while staying true to your values fosters a harmonious relationship.
10. Prioritize your admiration Men experience the greatest pain when they discover you are admiring somebody else over them. Naturally, a woman is not moved by sight as much as men are. So when a woman is moved by the sight of another man or other men, it’s a deep wound for any man who loves his wife. Admire your husband and focus your emotional energy towards him.
In conclusion, 1 Peter 3:1-6 (AMPC), emphasizes the impact of a godly life on a husband. It encourages women to embody inner beauty and a gentle spirit, illustrating this with the example of Sarah’s submission to Abraham.
Mastering the art of respecting your husband is an ongoing journey.
May divine intervention guide and enrich your marital journey.
Love Beyond Emotions: The Power of Guiding Principles
Let’s pick up from where we left off yesterday, delving into a crucial aspect of successful marriages.
7. The Nexus of Love and Principles
In the realm of matrimony, love is not an isolated entity; it’s intricately woven with principles. Contrary to the notion that emotional feelings suffice, it’s essential to recognize the distinction between love and fleeting emotions.
Love lacks a substantial foundation without principles. It is these guiding principles that provide the bedrock for a lasting and resilient love. In the tumultuous storms that inevitably hit every marriage, principles become the anchor, ensuring survival.
Life, with its unpredictable twists, affects us all. Drawing inspiration from the biblical perspective, we are declared more than conquerors through Christ. The battles will come, but adherence to principles becomes the pathway to victory.
8. Marriage: A Spiritual Commitment
Some erroneously perceive marriage solely through the lens of emotions. However, it extends far beyond mere emotionalism.
Assuming all is well because of external factors; job security, good health, and a comfortable life, can lead to complacency. Personal experience underscores the danger of becoming lax when everything seems smooth.
Marriage is inherently spiritual before it manifests in the physical realm. An essential prerequisite for a successful union is a willingness to embrace a serious relationship with God.
Every man is the priest of his family. It goes beyond superficial gestures; leadership entails leading the family towards spiritual growth. Both partners must actively participate in studying God’s word, prayer, fasting, tithing, and other covenant practices.
9. Spiritual Unity
True leadership involves more than romantic gestures. Men are called to lead their families to God, speaking in authority over their wives and children.
Reject the notion that only one partner needs to be spiritual. Both parties must be committed prayer warriors, believers in the Bible, and actively engage in spiritual disciplines.
In conclusion, the journey of a successful marriage requires a fusion of love and principles, transcending mere emotional bonds.
May this insight grant you a deeper understanding as you navigate the intricate path of matrimony.
Entering matrimony means surrendering the notion of individual finances. The money you earn is no longer exclusively yours; it’s a shared asset with your spouse. Decisions regarding expenditures become collaborative, emphasizing financial prudence.
Each spending choice requires thoughtful consideration, and extravagant gestures should involve consultation with one’s partner.
Husbands, too, must exercise financial prudence. Impulsive spending without consulting one’s spouse can lead to financial instability. Transparency in financial matters not only fosters trust but acts as a deterrent against extramarital affairs.
Understanding the principles of tithing and sowing becomes paramount. Neglecting tithing severs the potential for financial blessings. Harmonizing financial beliefs strengthens the marital bond.
While desiring care in a marriage is natural, a skewed focus solely on receiving undermines the essence of matrimony. Marriage is a divine call to serve one another. Being cared for and loved are outcomes, not entitlements.
Marriage thrives on mutual service. Demanding care and love places undue pressure on a spouse. Instead, fostering an environment of love ensures a reciprocal flow of affection and care.
In the marital journey, refrain from demanding love; let it flow organically. By actively showing love, you create a cycle of affection that enriches the relationship.
Dispelling the misconception that marriage is a transactional space is crucial. It’s not a restaurant where services are demanded, nor a supermarket where desires are instantly gratified. Rather, marriage is akin to tending a garden.
The analogy of a garden aptly captures the essence of marriage. The effort invested determines the yield. A Yoruba proverb encapsulates this idea: “If you want a good pot of stew, be ready to spend good money.” In marriage, effort begets reward.
Intentional Effort for Bliss
Marital happiness is a result of intentional effort. You reap what you sow. Much like cultivating a garden, tending to the marriage is a continuous process that demands commitment.
In conclusion, a thriving marriage requires financial unity, a mindset of reciprocal love, and the understanding that it’s a garden that flourishes with intentional effort. May this wisdom guide you toward a fulfilling and lasting union.
May your journey in marriage be blessed with understanding and joy!
In the pursuit of eternal love in marriage, fostering intimacy is a key factor. While some resort to questionable tactics to keep their spouses close, building a genuine connection is the foundation for a strong and enduring relationship.
Recognizing Individual Differences
Understanding that not all men share the same views on fidelity is crucial. Some may perceive relationships as games or sources of entertainment. Therefore, careful consideration before entering into marriage, especially with someone met online, is essential.
Marriage extends beyond fleeting emotions. While feelings may fade, the commitment remains. To ensure a lasting connection, strategic decisions and actions play a pivotal role.
Strategies to Secure Your Husband’s Love
1. Prioritize Intimacy
The Bible emphasizes the role of wives in wooing, winning, and protecting their husbands
Jer 31:22 (AMPC+)
How long will you waver and hesitate [ to return ], O you backsliding daughter? For the Lord has created a new thing in the land [ of Israel ]: a female shall compass (woo, win, and protect) a man.
One impactful way to achieve this is by prioritizing intimacy.
Never Deny His Advances
At the forefront of maintaining a strong connection is never refusing your husband’s sexual advances. Fulfilling his needs day and night contributes significantly to a lasting bond.
Respond positively to his desires, ensuring satisfaction when sought.
Pro 5:19 (KJV) – “Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
Timing Matters
Recognize the importance of timing in meeting your husband’s emotional needs. Respond to his desires promptly, especially when he is emotionally vulnerable.
Be attuned to his emotional state and offer intimacy when needed, fostering a healthy marriage bed.
Spontaneity Speaks Volumes
Maintain a spontaneous approach to intimacy. Waiting too long between intimate moments can signal underlying issues within the relationship.
Communication Is Key Address any potential issues promptly to ensure a robust and satisfying marital relationship.
Openly communicate your readiness to meet your husband’s needs at any time. Ensure he feels supported and cherished.
Be vocal about your willingness to fulfill his desires spontaneously, fostering a sense of security.
Create a private vocabulary to communicate desires openly without revealing intimate details in public.
3. Initiating Intimacy
Empower yourself to initiate intimate moments. Be the one to make the first move some of the time, demonstrating an active role in maintaining the marital bond. Take charge of initiating intimate moments to strengthen the connection and satisfy your husband’s needs.
In conclusion, nurturing eternal love requires a multifaceted approach. Prioritizing intimacy, clear communication, and taking the initiative are essential components. By embracing these strategies, you can cultivate a lasting bond that withstands the tests of time. Remember, a strong marriage is built on genuine connection and mutual satisfaction.
Embarking on the journey of marriage demands careful consideration and preparation to ensure a smooth and joyful experience. Just as travelers aim to travel light, couples should shed any unnecessary baggage that could hinder their marital voyage. This article explores three key areas that individuals should address before saying ‘I do,’ emphasizing the importance of a solid foundation for a blissful marriage.
1. Shedding the Weight of Laziness
Marriage is a venture for the mature – spiritually, mentally, and physically. The vitality and ability to work play a crucial role in maintaining a healthy marriage. For wives, managing the household involves substantial effort, and laziness can detrimentally impact the family dynamic.
The ability to cook, for instance, is not just a skill but a responsibility that, when neglected, can expose a husband to external influences. Even with assistance, wives should not completely delegate their responsibilities, as multitasking becomes essential when children enter the picture.
Husbands, too, must embrace hard work to sustain the family. Poverty often plagues families when the husband lacks motivation, is complacent, or fails to set and achieve goals. Before entering into marriage, individuals must relinquish lazy tendencies and commit to being proactive contributors to their family’s well-being.
Marriage necessitates a departure from certain single lifestyle habits. Late nights and prolonged socializing with friends are examples of behaviors that should be left behind. Successfully merging two lives requires a willingness to let go of the old to embrace the new.
Some individuals mistakenly attempt to maintain a bachelor or spinster lifestyle while enjoying the benefits of marriage. For instance, a wife accustomed to simple meals like cornflakes and noodles may need to adapt to prepare more elaborate dishes when her husband desires a higher culinary standard. Compromise is essential, especially when both partners have hectic work schedules.
3. Embracing Responsibility
Responsibility is the cornerstone of a successful marriage. The commitment extends beyond personal desires to encompass the well-being of the spouse and family. Married individuals carry the weight of their family’s concerns in all aspects of life, influencing decisions and actions.
Married life demands a responsible approach, and societal expectations reflect this. Dressing inappropriately, for instance, contradicts the expected behavior of a married person. Travel decisions, too, must be made with consideration for the impact on the family. Being responsible in various aspects of life contributes to a harmonious and fulfilling marital journey.
In conclusion, a successful marriage requires intentional efforts to address crucial aspects before taking the plunge. By shedding laziness, transitioning from singlehood, and embracing responsibility, couples can build a strong foundation for a lifelong partnership. This ensures a journey filled with patience, understanding, and the shared goal of a blissful and enduring marriage.
In the journey of marriage, understanding the nuances that can either build or hinder emotional closeness is crucial. Let’s continue with some common pitfalls that, when avoided, can contribute to a stronger and more vibrant connection between partners.
1. Don’t make her a laughing stock.Champion Her Confidence
In fostering emotional intimacy, it’s imperative to champion your wife’s confidence. This begins with refraining from subjecting her to crude jokes or making her a laughing stock in front of friends and family.
Embracing Respect and Protection
An astute husband understands the significance of protecting and projecting his wife, steering clear of embarrassment. Publicly affirm your pride in your wife, ensuring everyone, including your parents, knows that she is cherished.
Words Matter
Avoid biting remarks and teasing about her appearance or weight, as such comments can inflict lasting wounds. Instead, encourage a healthy lifestyle by suggesting activities like going to the gym together, and fostering a supportive and positive environment.
2. Avoid projecting her as always wrong while you are not
One major contributor to emotional distance is the constant belief that one partner is always wrong. This misconception can lead to a fractured relationship, hindering the growth of your romantic story.
As the head of the household, it’s essential to accept responsibility for inadequacies without consistently blaming your spouse. Assigning blame for every situation can create a divide in the partnership.
Shaping Children’s Behavior
Recognize that attributing every aspect of your children’s behavior to one parent is inaccurate. A balanced acknowledgment of each other’s influence on the children’s actions can lead to a healthier family dynamic.
Conclusion: Nurturing Your Marriage
In conclusion, building emotional closeness requires effort and understanding from both partners. Avoiding actions that diminish confidence and perpetuate false assumptions can pave the way for a more robust and enduring connection.
A Prayer for Your Marriage
May wisdom abound in your journey as a spouse, and may your union be a source of strength and joy. Don’t lose faith in your partner; instead, keep praying and trusting. May divine intervention bring blessings to your marriage!
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In a successful marriage, communication and understanding each other’s needs are paramount. Here, we explore key reasons that might cause a wife to close up emotionally and ways to avoid such situations.
1. Neglecting Her Essential Needs
The Importance of Addressing Her Needs
One significant factor that can lead a wife to close up emotionally is the consistent neglect of her essential needs. When a husband overlooks these needs repeatedly, it can result in emotional hurt and a sense of not being truly loved.
Meeting Her Needs on Her Terms
To love your wife effectively, it’s crucial to understand and address her needs on her terms, not yours. Men and women often have distinct needs, and misinterpreting them based on personal perspectives can lead to misunderstandings.
A key aspect of meeting a wife’s needs involves prioritizing attention and quality time. Even though these might seem insignificant to the husband, they are important to her. Selflessness in understanding and fulfilling these needs can strengthen the emotional bond in a marriage.
2. Undermining Her Intelligence
The Impact of Belittling Behavior
Another reason that can prompt a wife to close up emotionally is making her feel stupid or dumb. This can manifest not only through explicit words but also in body language and dismissive attitudes toward her suggestions.
Embracing Her Role as a Helper
Acknowledging and appreciating the role of a wife as a helper is vital in maintaining a healthy marital relationship. Dismissing her ideas as “dumb” or “stupid” overlooks the potential value of her intuitive insights.
Recognizing the Power of Intuition
While a wife’s suggestions might not always align with logic, they often stem from intuition. Ignoring this intuition can lead to missed opportunities or unforeseen challenges. Understanding and valuing her intuitive insights can contribute positively to decision-making processes.
In conclusion, a successful marriage requires constant effort to understand and meet each other’s needs. Couples can foster a stronger emotional connection by avoiding neglect and degrading behavior, promoting a lasting and fulfilling partnership.
In a world filled with complexities, the tug-of-war between succumbing to sexual pressures and resisting its allure is an age-old struggle. Understanding the underlying reasons can empower you to make informed decisions. Let’s delve into the dual facets of desire and means that often fuel these pressures.
1. Desire: Embracing the Temptation
The first catalyst behind yielding to sexual pressures is desire. It emanates from an intense attraction, where the visual allure of the forbidden promises to satiate profound longings. The sin whispers promises of satisfaction, and the heart, captivated by what it sees, is enticed to take a plunge.
The second motivator is the perception of sex as a means to an end. It becomes a tool to resolve immediate need, be it financial, a pathway to promotion, a sought-after gift, or a form of retaliation. In this context, the pressure is not just a desire but a calculated move to fulfill a specific need.
Navigating the Dilemma: A Choice to Make
Whether driven by desire, means, or a blend of both, it’s crucial to recognize the pressure for what it is, an external force vying for your surrender. Remember, you are the arbiter of your decisions.
1 Corinthians 10:13 provides solace, affirming that no temptation is insurmountable. God, a steadfast ally, ensures you won’t be pushed beyond your limits. Despite being hard-pressed, you are not destroyed, for the divine within you surpasses worldly pressures.
Overcoming Pressure: A Decision Solely Yours
Drawing inspiration from the lives of Joseph and Samson, individuals with great destinies, we see divergent paths chosen when faced with sexual pressures.
Samson’s Regrettable Choice
Despite divine favor and a prophesied birth, Samson succumbed to the momentary delights of sin, forfeiting his destined greatness. His inability to master his desires led to a tragic detour.
Joseph’s Resolute Stand
In contrast, Joseph, lacking supernatural announcements, faced organized sexual pressures with determination. He chose to flee, recognizing the value of his destiny over momentary pleasures. His decisiveness and refusal to compromise became the pillars of his victory.
Mastering Sexual Pressures: A Proactive Approach
Joseph’s method is instructive, dealing with sexual pressures headlong. Make decisions that prioritize the future over fleeting pleasures. Mastering these pressures involves valuing your destiny, and preserving it at all costs.
A Prayer for Strength and Wisdom
In closing, let us seek divine grace, strength, wisdom, and courage to navigate the complex landscape of sexual pressures. May our choices not disappoint heaven, and may God establish and honor us as we stand firm against these pressures.
You will not miss your path, and in Jesus’ name, may you be established and honored by the divine.
As the couple faced the counseling table, every uttered word echoed frustration. The strain in their expressions laid bare their unhappiness, amplified by the financial chaos surrounding them, a depth of debts seemingly impervious to resolution.
Navigating Career Crossroads
Their finances were in a mess. They were neck-deep in debt and refused to move.
Their career choices seemed out of place, and their bank accounts were in a coma.
Struggling on the Health Front
Simultaneously, health issues compounded their challenges, casting a shadow over what should have been the best times of their lives. The hurdles seemed insurmountable, looming in every direction.
The Key to Overcoming Challenges in Marriage
In the labyrinth of marriage, What is that one thing that can bail you out irrespective of what you are facing?
Unveiling the Solution
In the face of adversities, regardless of their magnitude, there exists a way out. The scripture provides solace:
“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” (1Co 10:13)
There is reassurance that no trial is insurmountable, and a way of escape always presents itself.
The perpetual existence of an escape route is rooted in the faithfulness of God. As a child of God, every challenge encountered is not a plot to destroy but a design to bring out the best within; an opportunity to strengthen one’s faith.
Harnessing the Power of God’s Word
The ultimate key to unlocking solutions in marriage is found in God’s Word. In the darkest moments, a single word can illuminate the path; a way of escape. It’s not about the multitude of words; it’s about the potency of that singular word.
The Power of a Single Word
Similar to the concept of conception, where amidst 300 million sperm, only one is needed to fertilize and bring forth life, a single word can birth transformation. Sit, study, meditate, and seek that word from the Lord; the true way of escape.
In conclusion, regardless of the challenges, be it mortgages, housing, health, fertility, relational dynamics, or financial burdens, remember, there is A WAY OF ESCAPE. That escape route is encapsulated in the profound and transformative power of God’s Word.
Begin your day by immersing yourself in the study of His Word, and do it regularly, daily! Good morning!
A priest at a wedding ceremony captured this piece of advice to the groom. He gave it as the condition to which the groom must fulfill as a husband.
All men in the house, if you want to enjoy your marriage and enjoy maximally the ministry of your wife as your help mate follow these advice.
1. Be the spiritual leader
Your wife needs you to be a spiritual leader in the marriage. Be someone she can look up to in times of challenges, and crisis and someone who gives spiritual guidance.
2. Affirmation and Appreciation
Your wife continually needs rich doses of affirmations and appreciation. Affirm her. Let your words strengthen her. Don’t discourage her. Give her wings to fly. Let your wife become better being married to you. Appreciate her efforts. To appreciate, you must first of all acknowledge her contributions. Don’t be stingy with your affirmations and appreciation. Let your wife be able to say, I married a good man who truly celebrates me.
The first lady in your life needs lots of romance. She will never outgrow little romantic gestures like buying her little meaningful gifts. Being courteous to her. Treating her with respect like listening to her when she speaks. It simply means treating her every way you can as your queen. If you will not talk harshly or rudely to a queen, then don’t do that to her.
3. Intimate Communication
The woman God has given to you needs intimate communication. Let her know how human you are. Don’t paint the picture of a superhuman to her. Let her know she is needed and valuable. Open up your fears to her. Ask her sincerely for her prayers. Let her communicate freely and honestly without the fear of being judged or criticized.
4. She needs you to betransparent
Some husbands keep important information from their wives. They feel their wives won’t be able to handle such information. On the contrary, your wife is made to handle the truth and do something about it. She may be emotional about it, but once she’s done she looks for ways to handle it.
So be open and very transparent with your wife. When you need her comfort, her attention let her know, don’t throw tantrums. Talk, don’t sulk.
5. She Needs Home Support
Make sure she and her children are well catered for. Don’t let her feel her demands are too much. It is your responsibility to fix every need in the house. She assists when she can. Please don’t see it as a right to demand, but be grateful for every support she renders. Her comfort is your responsibility. Ask her how you can make her more comfortable. Don’t be unconcerned about her struggles.
7. She Needs Someone Who IsCommitted to the Family
Family commitment is a very important need for your wife. She must know that after God she comes next. Put the needs of the children and hers as top priority. Let every other person come only after your wife and children. Make sure you verbalize your commitment to your wife and your children.
Make sure your wife and children flourish and thrive under your watch. Build up courage and strength in your wife, who will be your support system. Invest in whatever may be her shortcoming. Build strength consciously into your children, they are the ones that matter most because they bear your name and are like arrows shot into the future. Take time to explain things to them. Let them be free to ask you questions and set up conversations with them. Be transparent with them, let them know where you stand.
Do all these and you will have built a strong support system for yourself spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially, and otherwise.
Yesterday I spoke about transitioning from a Girl to a lady, to a wife, and a mother. We see how it’s of necessity we grow and develop at each stage so we can mature at each level and do as it is required of us.
Today we will be looking at the male version and how we are to develop at every stage of our lives.
You are a male by birth but we become a man by choice. You become a man by taking some deliberate steps or actions
John 9:21 NKJV but by what means he now sees we do not know, or who opened his eyes we do not know. He is of age; ask him. He will speak for himself.
Being a man describes one who can speak for himself. Most guys have identity crises. They can’t speak up for what they believe. Your ‘manhood’ starts when you can stand up for a godly course.
You grow from being a boy to becoming a man, mature emotionally, mentally, financially spiritually.
Until you are a mature man you are not qualified to be a husband or to be married.
There are so many married boys. It’s not your age that makes you a man.
Being a husband is a responsibility. Husband is from the word ‘husbandry’ which means ‘the care, cultivation, and breeding of crops and animals’.
It also means ‘management and conservation of resources’. A husband must be equipped to bind his home together. He should be able to manage the human resources of his wife and children. He cultivates and brings out the best in his wife and children.
When we have immature men becoming husbands, we have all sorts of marital problems. We have unfaithful men. Men who can’t be committed to their wives or their children.
They have not learned how to be committed to God. They can be selfish, don’t know how to manage their emotions, and don’t know. how to be vulnerable, sincere, and transparent with their wives.
A good. husband is an effective father, the source of life. Many boys are becoming fathers. What a tragedy of destiny. It is only boys that allow their erection to determine their direction.
Let every man and the ladies that love them and love the next generation, take up the responsibility of getting matured. Enough of half-baked men causing crisis in marriages.
Let them become the proper servant leaders, God ordained them to be. Men who truly love their wives like Christ love the church and gave Himself for her.
Every female gender starts as a girl. As a girl you are all pretty, flawless, innocent, saintly, naive, and all shades of sweetness. You see a young girl and you want to cuddle her.
I can bet you, girls are made for cuddles and kisses.
Every girl born is like a clean slate. To become a lady, you need to be informed. As your body transforms, other aspects of your life also need to be transformed. You are not just all ‘body’. You are a container with content.
The problem however is that failure to fully and properly transform from one stage of development to another affects the proper growth in the other stage.
A girl that doesn’t fully develop cannot become a lady in the right sense of the word.
A lady is one equipped with all the right knowledge and has developed mental capacity in all necessary areas. Financial, emotional (she is mature and has emotional intelligence), psychological, spiritual, mental, etc.
She has matured from being just a girl. She is not just concerned about her body and her looks.
From being a lady, the proper order is to move from being a lady to being a wife.
Marriage is not what makes a lady a wife. You become a wife before you are married
Proverbs 18:22 NKJV He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.
The man obtains favor from the Lord because the Lord has taken time to work on the lady turning her into a wife
A wife is emotionally mature, selfless, and ready to submit to the right order of things as constituted by God. She is submitted to her husband. She has learned that to win the heart of your husband takes more than your looks or your body, it takes wisdom.
When you are fully developed as a wife, you are qualified to be a mother indeed. You don’t become a mother by just giving birth to a baby. You are a mother because you can pass the same godly principles to the next generation and nurture godly seeds.
There is so much crisis in society because girls are not becoming ladies and ladies are not maturing to become wives and mothers.
What we have are ladies becoming or performing wifely roles and being mothers. Little wonder about the chaos in marriages.
May we reverse the order and be on course to be godly women in Jesus’ name!
This piece of advice will work for all relationships at whatever level. This is not to condone character flaws but it is an effective way of managing our differences.
For Singles, after we are sure this is the person God wants us to marry, a period of courtship begins. We are in love, yes, but we begin to see a lot of things we don’t like in our fiance.
If we focus on these differences we will spend most of our time quarreling and trying to sort out these differences.
We will think by much talk, which I call sermonizing, change will be effected. Nagging or sermonizing is us trying to sort out our differences by insisting on our terms.
I am not suggesting that we should keep quiet on major differences but I show us a better way.
When you see things your partner does that hurt you, rather than nag, you take it to God in prayer.
That sounds strange, but it is the way to go. By doing this, you are solving some other major issues in the future.
For us couples, not complaining is even a much better option. Knowing and accepting your spouse as a gift to you from God is fundamental.
God has brought you and your spouse together to fulfill a purpose. God expects you to take matters to Him in prayers. You are meant to pray all the time for your spouse. God knows that he/she is not perfect. God does give us raw materials to work on and the extend we work at them, the better we will enjoy them.
He/ she should be your project.
Your spouse’s weaknesses should be your prayer point. Your wife talks harshly, don’t tell her she will go to hell if she continues like that. Your husband drinks, win him over, not by your many talks, complaining, or sermonizing but by your prayers. Let’s learn to take them to the foot of the cross.
Does that mean I should close my eyes to misconduct? I didn’t say that. I only said to change our tactics and pray rather than complain.
With us developing this habit, God will have a better place in our lives. We will become better by getting closer to God and then the power of God will transform our spouse.
The choice is ours. Go the way of complaining and have the devil get an inroad into your marriage and relationship thereby causing more havoc or do it God’s way.
Remember, when you notice a weakness in your spouse, don’t complain turn it to prayer points before God and the result will amaze you. This is what God told me.
Do you know God hates complaining?
Check this out.
I Corinthians 10:8 – 10 NKJV [8] Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; [9] nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; [10] nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer.
In relationships, there will be instances where your significant other inadvertently inflicts hurt upon you. It’s not a deliberate act, but rather a consequence of human nature – we are, after all, only human.
As spiritual beings residing on this side, the sting of these hurts often cuts deep due to the profound trust, love, and emotional bonds involved.
The root of these hurts may often be traced back to temperamental differences, as individuals naturally attract those with opposing temperaments. Picture the calm and easy-going drawn to the vivacious Sanguine, or the goal-oriented Choleric captivated by the carefree Sanguine or the relaxed Phlegmatic.
While these differences are complementary, they can also become sources of conflict, generating deep hurts, offenses, bitterness, and an unforgiving spirit.
Unchecked hurts evolve into lasting offenses, fostering bitterness and an unforgiving spirit. It’s essential to recognize that harboring unforgiveness obstructs the flow of blessings into one’s life.
The Christian journey expressly forbids harboring an unforgiving attitude. Jesus, our ultimate example, demonstrated the divine nature of forgiveness even amid brutal treatment during his crucifixion.
Jesus forgave, and through His forgiveness, resurrection power was unleashed, bringing Him back from the dead. Now, the glorified Jesus sits in majesty at the right hand of God.
In line with Christian teachings, holding onto offense or unforgiveness contradicts the principles of faith. As emphasized in Mark 11:25 (KJV), forgiveness is an integral part of a successful life.
Mar 11:25 (KJV) And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Offense, hurts, and bitterness serve as impediments to blessings; therefore, it is paramount to sidestep them in your relationships.
Release the grip of unforgiveness; forgive your ex-partner and release them from the depths of your heart. The subsequent choices your ex makes, including their marital decisions, are inconsequential. Letting go is the key, to allowing God to orchestrate His plan in your life.
May God grant you heightened understanding as you navigate the complex terrain of relationships.
Embarking on the journey of destiny often reveals itself in unexpected ways. This narrative unfolded during my time at Olabisi Onabanjo University, formerly known as Ogun State University. The story revolves around a new student, a “fresher” or “jambite” in our campus lingo, who found accommodation in the same hall I resided in.
Divine Incidence on Campus
In the grand script of life, orchestrated by the Almighty, there is no room for coincidence; only divine incidence. We, as mere actors and actresses, play our roles in a drama directed and produced by God Himself. Staying within the script ensures a blockbuster unfolding of our destinies. Allow God to direct the script(. Don’t attempt to manufacture your own script! The movie will not “blow” like that!
The First Encounter
My roommate and I, as self-appointed ambassadors of welcome, set out to greet these new arrivals. Little did we know that divine orchestration was at play. Upon laying eyes on her, a sense of certainty enveloped me – a whisper from the Holy Spirit, perhaps – that she would be my wife. Her physical beauty, though not the sole criterion, played a significant role in this divine revelation.
Timing is Everything
Despite this revelation, I exercised patience and restraint, allowing a year to pass without expression. Two reasons governed this apparent inaction: my inherent shyness and an intuitive understanding that the timing wasn’t ripe. Understanding the patterns through which God communicates became pivotal in deciphering the journey ahead. Going ahead of God can ruin beautiful things even when it is God’s plan.
You see, when God speaks, His voice can be so resolute and strong that you often jump out without finding out details.
The voice of my beloved! behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. (Song of Songs 2:8 KJV)
The Holy Spirit’s Guidance
As children of God, embracing the Holy Spirit’s guidance becomes paramount. Recognizing the patterns through which God communicates, be it in relationships or other life aspects, is crucial. Filling our hearts with faith for His leading involves immersing ourselves in scriptures about divine guidance.
The Burden of Preparation
The voice of God is resolute, often requiring preparation before performance. Recognizing the two dimensions of this burden – preparation and performance – is vital. Rushing into action without understanding the nuances can lead to missteps, as seen in the misadventure of proposing prematurely. That revelation from God, is it for preparation or [performance? A major question to answer!
The Importance of Timing
Understanding God’s timing is fundamental to avoiding missteps. In my journey, God revealed the path of teaching relationships in 1997, but it took a decade before I stepped into that calling. Attempting to initiate the journey prematurely led to failure, emphasizing the significance of divine timing.
Seeking Guidance in Decision-Making
As married couples, there are even more decisions to make. Keep asking Him before you take that decision, before you make that business decision and He will always speak to you. Don’t be hasty! Be led by God. That is how not to make a bad business decision. There is nothing wrong in asking God again and again.
God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God. (Psalms 62:11 KJV)
Conclusion and Prayer
This morning, I speak the light of God that comes from His word into your life, I declare that confusion is not your portion. I pray for married couples, God will direct you in that decision you need to make in Jesus name!
Growth and change are two things that are constant in life, relationship and marriage.
We grow just as our spouse grows and changes.
At this junction, I have to say that there are positive and negative changes that might occur. We are however focusing on the positive changes
There are a lot of things that will change about us. Our age, our taste, our perspectives on life and things generally, our opinion, our health, and whole other things
As we experience these changes and metamorphosis, usually in becoming a better version of ourselves, our values change. What we spend our time on before is not what we spend our time on now.
Sometimes these changes come with their challenges. Most of the time our spouse begins to see this as strange and begins to react.
They are not used to the new you. This is where adjusting is needed.
We are to adjust to the positive changes of our spouses especially when the changes are beneficial.
Ways to handle your spouse’s positive changes
1. We have to acknowledge and respect the differences in our paths to personal growth.
2. We need to understand and appreciate the fact that evolving as individuals may lead to diverse perspectives and be ready to adjust and cope, not quarrel.
3. See the evolution of your partner as an opportunity to learn and grow. Be ready to learn from the uniqueness of each other
4. Learn to appreciate and celebrate the victories that your spouse’s changes bring.
5. Enjoy the journey together embrace the change and find ways to personally grow as your spouse is growing.
Instead of fighting your spouse’s change and allowing it to bring a wedge between the two of you, step up your own game and embrace the change.
May we and our spouse enjoy the beauty of growth together
Pastor Sophia and I did this yesterday via YouTube. Did you miss it?
Find it below and enjoy the lessons, the laughter, and the conversation!
Every single in courtship should intently discuss this – Why do you want to marry me? A sincere in-depth discussion will bring to the fore a lot of revelation and let you be able to to discover a lot about the decision you are about to make.
Interestingly, many couples get “shocked” after the wedding because they discover many things after that!
This is what happens when the relationship gets sexual as singles and obscures the most important things that should be discussed.
Singles in courtship are distracted with outings, sex, fun, and other things that are not important.
Newlyweds and those who have been married for a while should also sit down from time to time to do this – What did you marry me?
It’s a good experience because it is a re-enactment of the core reasons you are together. And in case, distractions are coming in, which is usually the case, the needed rejuvenation can happen as powerful words are uttered to one another.
After all, the wedding day was all about words!
Thank God for the guests, the Aso-Ebi, the food, the reception, the parties, the gold hand rings, the several vendors contracted…but what joined the couple together were the words! Either in court or church, words were exchanged. Vows were made and after the vows, you became husband and wife. It was all about words!
If words bring you together, good words uttered in sincerity to one another will also sustain your relationship.
The course of a thing is also the sustainer of that thing. Sit down and talk!
Singles should ask one another, “Why do you want to marry me?”
Couples should ask from time to time, “Why did you marry me?”
Reproach comes at different times and different seasons.
I want to show you a scripture I discovered this morning and this will surely bless you a great deal.
What do you do when you are being reproached? What should be your line of action when people are laughing at you? It is one thing for people to laugh at you behind you and you are unaware, but it’s a different ball game when people reproach you to your very face and talk in a demeaning way about you and your God.
What do you do?
Let’s take a look at the scripture.
Psa 119:41-42 (KJV). Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even thy salvation, according to thy word. [42] So shall I have wherewith to answer him that reproacheth me: for I trust in thy word.
How I so much love this scripture!
Let me paraphrase! Let your mercy come to me so that mercy can respond to those who reproach me!
Wow!
God is saying that the panacea to that reproach in your life is mercy!
Reproach as a single or even as a couple, you don’t even need to respond to them! What will respond is mercy!
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Psa 119:41-42 (MSG) Let your love, GOD, shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised; [42] Then I’ll be able to stand up to mockery because I trusted your Word.
You don’t need to respond to reproach or mockery all by yourself!
What will respond with a blessing, a miracle, an incredible result is Mercy!
Ask for God’s mercy this morning!
And keep asking every day and every time.
It’s one prayer you should not stop praying all your life!
Mercy!
God’s mercy will speak for you today and answer every point of reproach and mockery in your life in Jesus’ name!
