Happy New Month to all KHC Partners and members. This month, the angel over this commission will avail for you in Jesus name.
The devil is a liar; you will get to God’s destination for your life
The devil only fights what he fears! Contrary to the common belief, that something is wrong with you when you have many challenges, it may actually be the opposite.
It may actually be that you have so many challenges because all is well with you!
Let’s take a look at Joseph first.
If it were to be today’s world, wouldn’t you want to recommend Joseph for a high-grade deliverance session? Wouldn’t you conclude that the man is cursed and the spirit of retrogression is fighting him? Wouldn’t you want to say that out of all his father’s son, he was the most unlucky, the black sheep of the family, the one that was rejected and hated, and so on?
How can someone be sold into slavery and be moved to a strange town by his brothers? Wouldn’t you say that the household wickedness of his father’s house has finished him? Then he became a slave in Potiphar’s house but didn’t last long! He was soon in the prison. Was that not a retrogressive and stubborn demonic attack?
What about David? Anointed as a king in his teenage years but only sat on the throne at the age of thirty. Was that not a gang up of demonic delay against his destiny? Saul fought him to his last breath. Was that not royal hatred against him? Wouldn’t he need his head washed?
What I want you to see this morning, is that nothing was wrong with those guys, it was just a path they needed to pass to get to where God is taking them. You see all they went through was a passing phase and not a parking space!
Joseph could have missed it if he got depressed along the way but he kept on helping people and interpreting their dreams and one day, his gift made a way for him. David could have lost it with a bad attitude to King Saul, but he behaved himself wisely and he would not stop praising God!
So the most important thing in your going through to getting through is your attitude and your ability to refuse to react. It is your ability to refuse to park in your passing phase.
Nothing is wrong with you this morning. That is the word of the Lord to you!
I want to assure you this morning, that if you can do the following, your victory is guaranteed.
1. Stay away from sins, especially sexual sins Joseph ran away from Mrs. Portiphar and refused to commit adultery! If he had compromised, he would have interrupted God’s counsel over his life
But Pastor, I already made mistakes. It doesn’t matter, if you can make up your mind from this point on, God will forgive and forget and He would see you as if you never made all those mistakes! That is where His grace comes in!
2. Forgive easily Joseph was a forgiver. He refused to become bitter. That was evident when he eventually met his brothers. He was hurt, but he forgave!
3. Keep helping people While he was in the prison, the last thing he should be doing was helping others, but he kept on helping people and one of the persons he helped remembered him later and became the person God used to organize him out of the prison! I say to somebody this morning, God will organize you into royalty!
4. Never retaliate or fight back David never fought back at King Saul, and because of that God was there for him even when he made mistakes that could have cost his life.
5. Learn to praise God always David was a crazy and unrepentant God-Praiser! It showed in everything he did, and God was always with him.
The list is not exhaustive, but if you can do the above, you will come out strong. That issue will not have the last say in your life. Your baby will come! I curse the spirit of barrenness in your life this morning! Your victory is sure. You will get married. God will honor His word in your life. Don’t back out on God, because you are actually close to what God wants to do in your life.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a God praiser. I praise my way to victory. I will not park in my passing phase.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, give me the strength to navigate through the passing phase.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 39:2 And the Lord was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man, and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.
Yes, we need to take foreplay to another level. It is very possible to enjoy the other room in marriage
Foreplay is so relaxing, soothing, and rejuvenating. After such a tiring day, there is nothing as good as good love-making preceded by good foreplay.
I like the fact that it is therapeutic in nature. The release of hormones makes it a good medicine and it is also a good exercise.
I know some marriedcouples don’t have it as good. So I would like to address both husband and wife.
First, to those who are not really enjoying or having it regularly.
Whatever issue is causing you not to have regular love-making is demonic and an attack from the pit of hell. You cannot be married and be sleeping in different rooms. It’s simply unacceptable.
Such things as he snores, she snores, he has body odour or she has body odour are not enough reasons to abandon your spouse. What matters is that you are married, you two have become one flesh and nothing should separate you.
It is abnormal for a guy not to have it with his wife when he is not sick. For a man, it is more of releasing tension. Without regularity, he can’t really function as he should.
So see whatever is preventing you from having it in marriage as an attack. Address it ruthlessly. Don’t say you can handle it or you don’t care. Divorce and adultery are the consequences of such neglect.
If you have to plan it and do like a timetable, do it. The fire must never go down in the bedroom. When the fire goes down in the bedroom, the whole home catches fire.
It should be regular. For a very busy couple at least once or twice a week is okay.
To those of us who are enjoying it, we should try to improve. There is always room for improvement. Find creative ways to satisfy each other.
Take your foreplay to another level. Spend time with each other. Explore each other’s bodies. A healthy love life makes you more productive, more relaxed, and more focused. You will be more coordinated.
Create the right atmosphere that will make you enjoy yourself. If you can get away, plan it out. Go to a hotel or a resort center just by yourself. Just like we do sometimes. Leave the children with someone reliable and take time out to enjoy yourselves. When you come back, you will be refreshed and more relaxed than before you went.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I give myself to my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help us in this area of life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 6:16 (MSG) (paraphrased)There’s more to it than mere skin on skin. It is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”
Another sensible thing to do as you go about achieving your dream is to read up about the people who have done what you want to do.
These people may be famous or not but they have achieved what you want to. When you read and/or study about their lives, what they went through, where they lived, how they did what they did and the rest, you are learning some great lessons from their lives. You see their mistakes, fears, habits, and more. These are great tools for you to use for your own journey of fulfilling your dream.
Reading about them helps you know how to avoid some mistakes they made. That’s the best way to learn and grow. Using their tips and tricks will help to speed up the learning process for you and you will also achieve the same results they did, and your dream will be made manifest.
Look at the story of the prophets Elijah and Elisha in the bible. Elijah was a powerful prophet in the bible. He declared that there wouldn’t be any rain and there wasn’t (1Kings 17:1-2). It was only after he said there would be rain that it rained (1Kings 18:41-46). He was also the one that called down fire from heaven to burn the wet animal sacrifice when he challenged the fake prophets of fake gods to a contest (1 Kings 18:1-40).
Elisha saw all the mighty things Elijah did and asked for a double portion of his anointing and he received it (and it helped him fulfill his own dream). Why? Because he understood the power that Elijah had. Just like when you read up on these people because you know how much they have achieved in their field. You need this kind of power.
May God give you the right people to follow. Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, lead me to men and women whose lives are a mirror of your grace and goodness. May I learn what I need to learn from them to fulfill my dream. Amen.
Action plan:
Read books about great men and women in the field you are pursuing. You can also read up on people who have encountered and overcome great physical, medical, spiritual, and financial challenges. Ordinary people who have overcome so much. Then apply it to your dream.
Have you ever been unresponsive to your husband’s playful advances? I have been several times. That was before I learned that part of my role as a wife is to be responsive to him and to be his playmate every time and any time.
Do I respond every time? No. I still consider my husband playful and don’t join, thankfully we have three boys who can play with him.
My husband sometimes considers me as being too serious. I never grew up with a sanguine in the house so having fun was not a regular thing. We were quiet in our family and our idea of fun was little laughter here and there.
My husband is not so much of a Sanguine but his Choleric tendencies have made him an extrovert at least to me. He seems quiet when he wants to but when he is in his rhyme, he really wants to talk and play.
Sometimes he wants to play, sing *winks*, be funny, talks, disturb me and all the rest. He is just full of energy and he wants to release some.
The one thing that men don’t leave behind from being boys is playing and having fun. They love to have fun and as their wives, you have to learn to have fun with them.
You may be pushing your husband out to look for a playmate. You must learn to be jovial. Be responsive to his jokes. Laugh with him. Laugh at him. Your role as his wife is not to stop him from playing, it is to play with him.
Don’t stop him from watching his football games or any other games, join him in. Don’t be too busy for him. I know you have a lot to do especially when you don’t have help. The idea is to let your husband occupy the first place and every other thing will find its place.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my husband’s playmate
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Help me Lord to cast my care upon you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be responsive to your husband’s play and jokes.
So you have discovered your passion for something and are acquiring some form of education in that area and have also not quit, what is next on the line? Well, the next thing to do is to start acting out your dreams. Act!
You have learnt some art principles in art school – start to use them in your works. Let them show in your paintings or sculptures or whatever form of art you are creating.
You love to cook? Start using the skills you have learnt at culinary school at home. Cook something at home. Act out your dream.
Do not wait till you graduate or finish your training before you start to practice. Practicing is like having tests and exams at school. It’s to test how much you have learnt or are learning.
When David faced Goliath on the battlefield, it wasn’t his first time on the battlefield. He was already battling lions and bears in the forest while shepherding flocks daily. He already had practiced before the big day. You see? Learn to act.
Goliath was just another bear or lion in the eyes of David. And he believed that if God could successfully allow him to kill lions and bears, who was Goliath that God wouldn’t allow him to defeat, especially since the giant was mocking and teasing the Israelites. (Read 1 Sam. 17:1-51)
Practicing is for measuring how much you have learnt and not to mock or ridicule you. Through practice, you will discover so much about yourself and what you are learning. I yet say again, “Act out your dream.”
One final thought about practicing – it prepares you for battle.
I pray that the Lord will equip you daily as you practice. Amen.
Prayer: Father, help me to continue to practice the skills I have learnt. Help me to act. Help me to discover my strengths and weaknesses in Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan: Do all your practices. Do all your school assignments, take all tests and exams.
Our generation is beleaguered with so much pressure that believers are even compromising heavily, and yet the truth is that God will not lower or change his standard because of the peculiarity of our generation or the pressures of our environment. God’s word remains forever. Love differs from lust.
Look at the following verse:
Eph 4:17 KJV This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,’
The Spirit of God writing through Paul here says, as children of God, we cannot walk as the unbelievers walk. There has to be a distinguishing. We cannot be lumped together. Our light must shine in the midst of darkness. We must stand out. The life of God in us will not allow us to live carelessly.
Message translation says we cannot move with the crowd!
Eph 4:17 MSG And so I insist–and God backs me up on this–that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd.
You as a child of God cannot flow with the tide. Having done all, you’ve got to stand, unmoved, unshaken and unyielded to the grip of iniquity.
Verse 20 says:
Eph 4:20 KJV But ye have not so learned Christ;
That is not what we learn about Christ when we gave our life to Christ. At what point did we accommodate the devil’s antics into the program of our lives? At what point did we think that as a child of God, you can be dating three people at a time? At what point did we somehow believe that God does not mind us having emotional affairs that our spouses are not aware of?
At what point did we start combining a life of fornication with a life of leading others in worship? At what point did pastors think they can go free with sleeping with naïve church members because they are anointed? That is not how we learned Christ!
Take a look more at the scriptures:
Eph 5:1 MSG Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents.
Amplified version says to be imitators of God. How do we do that when we cannot see Him? We watch what He does by watching what He has done in His word. As we read God’s word, we learn His ways and we understand how we are supposed to live here.
Let’s look at the next verse:
Eph 5:2 MSG Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
You’ve got to learn a life of love and not a life of lust. God did not love in order to get something from us! The moment you say you are in love with a person and then you want something you can get, either money or fun, you have moved from love into lust. People ask me, how can I know whether he or she loves me? That is the answer right there!
Love wants to improve the other person’s life, not deplete it. If you are in a relationship with a person, and your Christian life goes down, watch it. God will not lead you into a relationship where all you have is the anguish of the soul, a life iniquity, and a life full of lust. You cannot tell me you love a lady whom you have impregnated thrice and paid for abortions. That is not love!
Look at the next verse:
Eph 5:3 MSG Don’t allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed.
The moment you get involved in some perversion; that is no longer love. It’s lust. How can two believers who are not married be compromising habitually? That is no longer love! If the guys end up in bullying greed, always having his way, and even quoting scripture to justify a sinful lifestyle, that is no longer love.
Let’s conclude with the next verse:
Eph 5:4 MSG Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, Christians have better uses for language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.
As children of God, you should have better uses of your mouth than gossip. Don’t join some others to tear apart your leaders after a church service. Something is not quite right with that. Stop tearing apart your Pastor’s wife.
The scripture advises, don’t talk dirty or silly. Why? That is the same mouth you are supposed to use to confess your way into what you want to possess.
Dirty and silly talk doesn’t fit our style. You cannot be using the ‘F” word and tell me God is okay with that! That is not our style. Our style doesn’t permit punctuating every word with the ‘F” word or with words like ‘Shit!’ Why? Thanksgiving is our dialect! You see it right there. All these things matter!
Conclusively, Amplified version puts it this way:
Eph 5:4 AMP Let there be no filthiness (obscenity, indecency) nor foolish and sinful (silly and corrupt) talk, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting or becoming; but instead voice your thankfulness [to God].
Call God to help you and cleanse you if you have the need to, He is always there to bail you out, if you make up your mind.
Selah!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love appropriately. I am not filled with lust
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God should cleanse you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 4:17 (CSB) “Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their thoughts.”
In the process of achieving your dreams, some things will happen. Bad things for sure. Things that will push you to want to leave and give up on achieving your dreams. But God doesn’t want you to give up on your dreams. He doesn’t want you to quit.
At a point during the learning period, the lessons will be hard, and you will want to give up, but don’t. That is the time you should keep moving and follow through with the instructions. You can rest for a while, but never give up. Sometimes, at the point of giving up is where your best lessons are. Don’t quit.
Look at the story of Jacob and his uncle, Laban, in the bible. Laban had cheated Jacob. Instead of giving Jacob, Rachel as his wife, Laban gave him Leah. After serving for seven years, he was offered the wrong bride. What did Jacob do? He didn’t complain, neither did he give up. He didn’t quit. He served for another seven years just so that he could have the woman he loved, Rachel.
People will do and/or say things that could discourage you, but don’t look at them or what they are saying or doing. Look at Jesus, the one who completes you. He gives you the strength to do all things. He strengthens you not to quit.
“I am worn out, O Lord; have pity on me! Give me strength; I am completely exhausted.” Psalms 6:2 GNB.
“I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me.” Phil. 4:13 GNB.
Prayer:
Lord, give me the strength to continue on my journey towards fulfilling my destiny. Give me the strength not to quit. Help me to focus on you and not on anything or anyone. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray, Amen.
Action point:
Find bible verses like the ones above and use them anytime you encounter a discouraging person, situation, or remark. That is your shield.
Dear singles, It’s vital we don’t compare ourselves with one another. That is why this topic is being taught. We started yesterday and we looked at reasons you cannot compare yourself with others. You can read it here.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Dear singles, these are the following things to do to become free from comparison traps?
1. Know who you are in God To overcome comparison traps, you have to know who you are in God! Declare your stand in God and keep confessing that.
2. Acknowledge the good things in you. The scriptures says
That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. (Philemon 1:6 KJV)
When you recognize and acknowledge every good thing in you, your gifting and talents, the communication of your faith or the effectiveness of your spiritual life will become a reality.
3. Fill yourself with God’s word To deal with comparison traps, you have to keep filling yourself with God’s word. The word of God is like a mirror.
But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. (2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV)
When you begin to read and study God’s word, you will be changed into the picture of that which God shows you in His word. You will be free from comparing yourself with other mortals.
4. Learn to praise God for all things. Learn to praise God always and appreciate Him for what He has done and what He is doing in your life! At the root of comparison trap is an ungrateful heart. As you begin to genuinely appreciate God for His mercies and His blessings, you will be severed from unnecessary pressure to compare yourself with others.
I pray for you this morning and by the Spirit of God, I declare that all wrong spirits behind competitive jealousy lose their power over you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
Well, we have finally come to the end of our series on handling stress in marriage.
In our final series, I will be talking about
Ungratefulness
The whole bible is from the old testament to the new testament has several instances where gratitude, Thanksgiving, the gratefulness of heart is encouraged and even commanded.
The human heart has the capacity to be ungrateful and to forget where we were and where we were coming from. Once we get relieved, we are quick to forget the hands that held us up.
Now, I would like to write today about gratitude to God and gratitude to those who were there for us and how it helps in handling stress in marriage.
If we don’t learn to show appreciation and train ourselves to be thoughtful enough to show gratitude, we will stress our partners.
No matter how difficult your spouse is, we can still choose to be grateful to God for them. Someone said, don’t complain you have an headache, thank God that you even have a head.
How true this is. On matter our condition, the place of praise and thanksgiving will still remain intact. We may however, choose not to see it or cease the opportunity to be grateful.
Let check out few places in the bible we were admonished to live a thankful life.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalms 100:4 NLT
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT
And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20 NLT
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:15 NLT
We are encouraged in scriptures to show gratitude to God in everything and at all times.
If you think, you will be able to thank. If you think that you didn’t create yourself, you can’t sustain yourself, the breadth that you breadth you didn’t provide it for yourself, the hair on your head, you didn’t put it there, that you go to work and come back meeting everything intact is because God is a merciful God.
So when you think of all the goodness of the Lord you should return gratitude to Him.
If you are grateful for the many things God has done for you, it will also flow also in gratitude to others. It is the same heart it takes to be grateful to God that it takes to be grateful to others.
A spouse who is always complaining and has an entitlement mentality is a pain in the neck.
When a couple learn to appreciate each other in little things and show gratitude for efforts and every little attempt to improve, there will be bliss.
It takes a heart of understanding to give thanks. Someone said when you are thankful your tank will be full. This is the one of the best things to do when handling stress.
Everything dries up in an atmosphere of complaint.
Don’t put the strain on your marriage rather put the strain off your marriage.
I hope we have learnt one or two things from our series.
Your marriage is a living entity, and as such you don’t want to do things that will quench the fire of passion.
I pray if any marriage is being besiege by stress or its effect, God will cause peace to reign in Jesus name
Okay, you know what you want to become. You have discovered your passion for taking care of animals or painting or something else. It’s time to move on. It’s time to learn.
Start taking the steps that will move you closer to achieving your dreams. This is about getting education. It could be formal or informal.
If your dream is to be a painter, you need to take classes in art. These classes will expose you to the world of art – artists, art principles, art styles, etc. Knowing these things will help you become a better artist. You need to learn. Applying all you have learnt coupled with your talent, will further make you create great artworks and your fame spread far and wide over the world.
Just like Samuel in the bible, he had to learn under the prophet Eli before he could become a prophet too. When Samuel first heard the voice of God, he thought it was Eli calling him. It was only after going to Eli that he was told what to do and who was calling Him
It’s going to take time for you to become excellent at what you want to become. Learning doesn’t take place in a day, but over a particular period of time.
Learning is important as you dream big. You must learn.
May the Lord expose you to the best learning experiences in your quest towards greatness, Amen.
Prayer:
Lord, help me as I learn to become what I desire to be. Give me the best teachers, schools, and experiences. In Jesus’ name, amen.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Why would the Bible say that falling into comparison trap is foolish?
Here are few reasons
1. You are unique You are uniquely created. There are over seven billion people on planet earth and yet nobody else has an exact match of your fingerprints. You have been uniquely packaged for a specific assignment on earth. It is foolhardy then for one to compare himself with another.
2. You have different assignments Everybody has a unique purpose to fulfill on earth. God told Jeremiah that
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5 KJV)
Your purpose precedes your creation. That is how powerful it can get! Everything you need on earth to fulfill your purpose was packaged into you while God is creating you. You are not inferior, you are gifted and you only need to discover it!
3. You have a different life span Some people would have achieved so much by thirty that you are wondering how they are able to do so many things in a few years. But then before they are fifty, they are out of this world. Some people are great achievers too, just that they are latecomers. Their limelight begins when they are over forty or fifty! Stop comparing yourself with what others are doing, focus on God to help you do what you are supposed to do!
4. You will weary yourself When you compare yourself, you will end up getting tired because you will be drawn to do what you are not gifted to do. You will want to impress others and you will soon get tired of trying to do that!
5. You will be distracted The comparison trap breaks your focus. It gets you on the wrong lane of purpose. It is a wasted and futile effort with no reward from God.
Tommorrow, I will show you practical ways to become free from comparison traps.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
I will continue from where I stopped yesterday. We have been looking at different types of stressors and how we can avoid them. How these stressors cause stress and strain in our relationship with our spouse.
We looked yesterday at how unforgiveness can be a sources of unhappiness in marriage. It can cause a lot of tension between couples.
Today, we are moving on to
8. Not being open and transparent.
Marriage is translated H.O.T, honest, open and transparent. Husband and wife should be naked and not ashamed.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:25 KJV There should be no shame whatsoever between husband and wife. If both understand their position in covenant and how God sees them.
There should be zero inhibitions. We should be 100%/vulnerable to each other
It is very stressful when as husband and wife you censor what you have to say, walk as though on an egg shelf, hide, be secretive, tell packaged truth, sometimes tell little lies, structured lies, and all manner and shades of lies.
It is frustrating to have a spouse who is always suspecting you.
I want us to know that the devil is at the root of every kind of suspicion. If this is happening in our marriage, God will grant us victory and every storm will cease in Jesus name.
The devil hates marriage and unity between husbands and wives. This kind of stress can cause strain on the marital union. It could be handled by both husband and wife working together correcting their wrongs and trusting God for the covenant of oneness to be appropriated in their lives and marriage.
9. Unrealistic expectations.
These are the things we expect from our spouse which cut across as being over the board or giving the present situation may be difficult to meet.
Our spouse should try and they are under obligations to meet our needs. But there are some needs that are not humanly possible.
This usually happens when either of the spouses is selfish and inconsiderate. If for example the husband or the wife already has a particular mould he/she wants for his spouse and then try to force the spouse into that mould. That will be an unrealistic expectation.
This is capable of causing frustration. I will stop here today and continue tomorrow on these stressors by God’s grace.
May God grant us the spirit of forgiveness to all that has offended us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Yesterday we looked at first discovering what your dream is concerning your future exploits. Today let’s look at how you can dream big.
First, pray to God for help because He knows all about your life, even before you were born…
“…you saw me before I was born. The days allotted to me had all been recorded in your book, before any one of them began”. Psalms 139: 16 GNB.
From the above verse you can see that God knows all about you. He knows what you will become, how you will do so, how far you will do so and more. That’s why He is the person you should speak to concerning this issue (your dream).
Also, as you think of what you want to become, how big do you see yourself walking in that role? If you have a gift for art, how far do you see your artworks going? Where will you display them? Will you have your own gallery or not? Will you create your own line of drawing or painting brushes or palettes? Learn to dream big!
Dreaming big is not being proud, it’s being truthful to yourself and what God has shown you about what your future holds.
“The Lord asked me, “Jeremiah, what do you see?” I answered, “A branch of an almond tree.” “You are right,” the Lord said, “and I am watching to see that my words come true.” Jer. 1:11-12 GNB.
Just like the Lord spoke to Jeremiah, He is also speaking to you. He has given you images, pictures, visions of what He has deposited in you and wants you to do. Be like the prophet Jeremiah and see what God is showing you.
Dream big! Dream the big dreams God has put in you. Don’t think otherwise. He is watching to see if you are following the dreams He has put in you.
May the eyes of your understanding be opened and may you see with the eyes of the Lord, Amen.
Prayer:
God, help me to see what You are showing me. Give me the grace to dream big. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Action plan:
Begin to write down the ideas you have about your dreams. Writing them helps you to keep in touch with your dreams.
We are continuing on our series, how married couples should handle stress in their marriage. We are looking at different stressors, especially those that are self-induced, and how to handle them.
We have looked at the following:
1. Financial pressure
2. Dealing with in-laws
3. Comparison traps
4. Doing beyond ourselves
5. Not minding our own business
6. Not being able to say No.
And today,
7. Being unforgiving to our spouse.
One of the most important ingredients in having a happy marriage is when couples forgive each other quickly.
The bible is so clear on the issue of forgiveness and also tells us he dangers of unforgiveness.
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 NLT
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 NLT
When you release an offence you open the prison doors. Unforgiveness puts us in a prison that puts stress in our marriages
To err is human and to forgive is divine. When we forgive our spouse, we invite divinity and all that heaven has to offer. We invite peace, joy, and prosperity.
When we allow unforgiveness, no matter how grievous the offense, we give place to the devil and all that is associated to him.
If anyone is walking in unforgiveness, I urge us to please forgive. Let go and let God. God is not just asking us to close our eyes to the offense, he is asking us to give Him the pain and hurt of the offenses
He says vengeance belongs to Him.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19 KJV
God wants to work our vengeance for us in a most beautiful way. He want to compensate us. Most of the time when we avenge ourselves, we don’t compensate the hurt. That’s what God wants to do.
The issue of forgiveness is so big that we can either ruin our lives and lives of our children by not forgiving our spouse.
Families that were once cordial have been separated by the spirit of unforgiveness. Couples who were once loving have been set apart through unforgiveness. Children have become victims of their parent’s unforgiveness.
I understand that it is very tough when your spouse does such grievous and demeaning things. Yet we must let God be true and every man a liar.
Forgive and see the unbelievable release of God’s power towards your marriage. It is almost like magic. It is a miracle.
God comes to defend you in ways you could never have imagined. Favor works for you, you enjoy peace, health, prosperity and the likes.
I will stop here today and continue on this topic of handling stress in marriage tomorrow by God’s grace.
May God grant us the spirit of forgiveness to all that has offended us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate to people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Act 20:32 KJV And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified.
Everything you do in life is like a load and for every load, you need strength. The success you have in life is as a result of the load you can carry. The business you are doing for a living is as a result of the financial load you can handle. Your intellectual prowess and the parameters of your cognitive abilities are defined by the load your brain can accommodate. Going to school is a load. Starting a relationship is a load. Getting married is a load.
Even, being blessed is a load in itself because it comes with responsibilities.
If you leave your precious expensive phone with a three-day-old baby, the phone will be safe. It is not a load the baby can carry. However, you don’t want to leave that same phone with a one-year-old baby, because you could find the phone in a bowl of water. However, your big laptop is not what your one-year-old baby can carry.
It is about the strength and stamina that one possesses that determine what you can eventually do and what you dare not do.
A small 1.5KVA generator cannot carry much load. You don’t plug in your freezer on that! Your freezer can render the destiny of that generator useless. However, a 500KVA will accommodate five freezers without ‘shaking’ because it has the strength to carry such load. In life, your spirit man or inner man is like a generator, supplying power to your mind and body.
So, we see that it is important that you be built up. When you are built up, little afflictions will not render you incapacitated. Little skirmishes will not stop you from attending church service. You will not backslide because you had a breakthrough of a Million bucks. You will not fall for fornication because you sighted a hot leg!
If you begin a relationship with not enough strength and stamina, you will mess up and then break up! If you are wise, you will slow down to find out what went wrong. But you know what most of us do? We jump into another relationship because of self-esteem issues and in order to get back at our ex! You are not able to keep one person; you dabble into double dating? It won’t work out! There is no available strength from God to carry that kind of strange load in a double dating scenario.
The next question then is how can I increase stamina and strength?
You see it right there in the scriptures…
The word of God which is able to build you up…
This is what gives you strength and stamina in life. This is what determines the loads you can carry. Just like you eat food to develop your physical outlook, you have to eat God’s word regularly to develop your inner man. The mentors and fathers you admire in life are where they are because of the loads they are carrying. Your own load is there to carry. Nobody will carry it for you. Some white garment prophet or prophetess is not meant to carry the responsibility of fasting to help you discover God’s direction for your life. That is a load you must carry by yourself. That prophet has loads he would carry himself, and he is deceiving you when he tells you he will help you fast and pray.
You must be built up. You must eat God’s word regularly. Study it. Meditate on it. Read it. Memorize the verses. Listen to it on your phone. Set it before you daily. Say it. Think it. Soliloquize on it. That is how you build up the muscles of faith to deal with situations of life. When you sin, you are weakening your spirit man and his capacity to do exploits. Make up your mind today. Decide to do it God’s way. You are not built or configured to carry these loads in your own strength. You will always need God. You will always have God if you make up your mind.
It is not by power, nor by might…but His Spirit!
That way, there will be stamina to pull a relationship through courtship into marriage without compromise or breakdown along the way. It is like a vehicle. You keep on refilling with Holy Ghost fuel. You keep on maintaining it with God’s word. This applies to whatever load you are carrying, be it career, business, or ministry.
I see God’s help made available for you this month! I see God’s Spirit opening up your understanding for His revelation in your inner man. I see God coming to your rescue this month! I see God organizing helpers of destiny for you in the coming month!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the strength of God in my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to carry the load I must carry and give me the strength to fulfill destiny in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Act 20:32 MSG”Now I’m turning you over to God, our marvelous God whose gracious Word can make you into what he wants you to be and give you everything you could possibly need in this community of holy friends.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be built up by His word today
One of the purposes of making love with your spouse is to establish bonding at the highest level. However, when this is done with someone you are not married to, a bonding also takes place, but it is an unhealthy bonding because it is spiritually illegal, a direct violation of God’s injunction, a sin unto God, and unto one’s body. Rather than soul harmony that happens with married couples, what happens is a soul tie that tends to suck one more into the compromise.
What if I make just one mistake; is a soul tie formed? The answer is yes because the devil doesn’t need many mistakes, he only needed one to get you into trouble. You give the devil an inch, he takes a mile!
That is why the Bible says:
Eph 4:27 AMP Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].
Just one mistake of David with Bathsheba, an intrigue and tragedy of murder, lies, deception and death of a baby were what ensued.
So what do I need to do to break a soul tie?
1. The first thing you have to do is to genuinely repent of the mistake and decide to stop the act.
When you say you have repented of a particular sin, and the next day, you visit the same person and announce that you only came to say hello, knowing fully well that one thing will still lead to another, then you have not really repented. When you say you have repented and then he comes visiting the following week, and then you start cooking Rice and Beans for him when it is already late in the night, then you are just playing games with your destiny, because you sure know what will happen afterward.
And you know, God cannot be mocked. You can fool your pastor or parents, but don’t even think you can fool God. Don’t even nurse that idea because it is not possible. You need to understand that God does not only listen to the words of your mouth as you cry and say that you will never do it again, He looks into your heart and knows whether you are just acting or you are truly and genuinely repentant. This then determines the release of His mercy that can suspend judgment and overrule damning consequences. His mercy endureth forever.
What does it mean to repent?
It means a change of mind and a turn around. You don’t go back there again!
You want to break soul ties? The first thing is to repent genuinely.
2. The second thing to do is to forgive yourself and forgive the person that has wronged you.
When you are genuinely repentant, God forgives and forgets!
Heb 8:12 KJV For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.
Take a look at the Message translation:
Heb 8:12 MSG They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.
That is God for you! He is a merciful God. He is your father. He will forgive….well that is understandable…but forget? How is that possible?
I am not talking about amnesia here, that is a disease of forgetfulness. I am talking about when you genuinely repent, the blood of Jesus cleanses you and gives you right standing with God as if you have never committed that sin! It is not as if the sin is still lurking somewhere in some hibernated corners of God’s brain (if there is anything like that) where it can be retrieved later, like restoring a file from recycle bin, it is that the sin is permanently and divinely shredded and does not exist again. There would be no records again and you become like you were before God before you ever committed that sin!
You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus! Your slate is wiped clean, your life becomes anew, and you become new specie!
Well, of course you know that genuine repentance is not when you are habitually hooked to a particular sin…and you keep asking for forgiveness everyday. That is not true repentance, you are just trying to pacify your conscience and it is a dangerous state to be in.
So upon genuine repentance, God forgives and forgets! But do you know where the problem is? You have to forgive as well. Forgive the person that wronged you if that is the case, and then forgive yourself! That is very important. This stage is necessary in order to break soul ties and move on with your life! After asking God for forgiveness, stop going back to ask again because there is no record again. You have been cleansed, so rise up as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus that you are!
I pray for you this morning that you will indeed come to the knowledge of that which Christ has done for you in Jesus name. Every where there has been illegal soul ties, God will deliver you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that wherever there have been wrong soul ties, God will deliver you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. (2 Corinthians 5:21 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘Righteousness’ in the New Testament
What’s a dream? Not what happens when you close your eyes and sleep at night. This type of dream is what you hope to become when you grow older. It’s what you imagine yourself to be. Maybe an athlete, drummer, doctor, teacher, software programmer, or developer. It’s the professional you want to become.
The first step towards dreaming big about what you hope to become in the future is discovering what you want to become in the future. No one becomes anything without first seeing themselves becoming that. It’s what you choose to become – what you have a passion for that you will become. That’s your dream.
How do you discover this passion? Look around you, what do you like to do? If you like to draw and paint, that could mean a future in art is your profession. Do you like taking care of animals – it could mean you have a calling as a veterinary doctor. Think about what you like to do the most. That is how you will discover your passion. That could then become your dream.
You can also ask the people around you like your parents, friends or siblings. Or even speak to a guidance counselor about this. They can point you in the direction to go.
The best way is still to pray about it. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you choose well. Ask Him to help you dream.
“You are my God; teach me to do your will. Be good to me, and guide me on a safe path.” Psalms 143: 10 GNB.
Through His guidance, you will discover what He wants you to do.
May the Holy Spirit guide you towards your purpose, In Jesus, name. Amen.
Prayer:
Sweet Holy Spirit, show me what you want me to do. Help me to have the right dream. Show me how to fulfill my purpose through my passion. Amen.
We are still continuing our series, how couples can handle stress in marriage. We have looked at different stressors and if handled well will never be a source of strain on our marital union.
Today, I will be addressing the issue of:
5. Not minding our business.
As easy as this may be for some of us by virtue of our background. It’s so difficult for some of us to simply mind our business.
It is interesting to know that every way we should live our lives as Christian couples is already addressed on the bible, either directly or indirectly.
The bible didn’t mince words when it told us not to be busybodies but to mind our own business.
Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business. We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living. 2 Thessalonians 3:11 – 12 NLT
For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. 2 Thessalonians 3:11 KJV
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 1 Timothy 5:13
But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. 1 Peter 4:15 KJV
From the above scriptures, we can infer that those who are busybodies are idle not being productive with their time and that there is suffering meant for whoever practices being a busy body.
As a married person, you should have enough on your plate. Bills to pay, children to look after, spouse to take care of, a home to tend, prayers for your destiny to pray, self-development, business to start or improve, etc.
As couples, you should have enough to keep you busy. Just find work for yourself. An idle hand is the devils workshop.
It’s when you are not minding your business that you begin to give unsolicited advice, visit places you are not celebrated or wanted, gossip, and eventually bring undue curses over your life.
You leave your own issue and begin to dance around other people’s issues. You dissipate your energy, strength, and your focus. You become distracted with other people’s matters that you are not graced to solve.
You even become a judge over other peoples affairs that is none of your business.
You leave your home, children and spouse exposed while you busy yourself with issues that don’t concern you.
Desist from doing this and you will be focused on the home and marriage God has given you. You will also have greatly minimize stress in marriage.
6. Not being able to say ‘No’.
‘No’ is not a weak word neither does it show a sign of weakness or cowardice. It only means you are courageous enough to face the fact about your limitations.
Some people simply cannot say No. They lack the sense of judgement to differentiate between what they can do and cannot do.
Learn to say No and don’t feel bad about it. Some people by not being able to say No have entered the trap of the enemy. Don’t be sentimental about issues.
As couples, learn to say No if what you are asked to do violates your conscience. You are not under any obligation to please anyone. You are only under obligations to please God.
Learn to place your priorities right. For example, no one comes before your spouse in words, thoughts, and actions. Put God above all else, your spouse, your children, and then any other person.
Let your Yea, be Yea and your Nay be Nay.
I will stop here for today. Tomorrow is another day to join me as we continue on this very imprortant topic for married couples.
May God grant us understanding and give us wisdom to avoid stress in marriage.
God bless our marriage
.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
John didn’t say a word. He sat still and quiet while his friend cried. Tunji, his best friend at school, just lost his dad and they were in his friend’s room right now. Tunji’s pillows were wet with his tears, the bed covers rough and halfway down on the floor. His cries echoed throughout the room as he laid on the bed. Who could comfort Tunji?
There was nothing John could do other than to sit and wait for his friend to talk when he felt like it. Though deeply saddened to see his friend like this, there was nothing he could do, but to pray that God would comfort Tunji for the loss. And of course, stay by his side.
When a friend is in a state like Tunji is, the only thing to do is pray for them like John is and ensuring that you are by them. Don’t try to talk unless they ask you to or do so themselves. Never expect them to hurry out of their grief or tell them to. They need the time to grieve and mourn their loss as much as they have to. All they need is your silence and presence. They need your support. Be there to comfort them.
That is what is it means to hold the hand of a friend. You let them know that you are available for them. Your care doesnt have to be in words but in action most times.
Only God will comfort them for their loss as the bible tells us.
May the Lord make you a good friend at all times. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, make me a good friend that will be there for my friends when they are in their lowest moments. Help me to hold their hands, in comfort, all through. In Jesus name, amen.
Action plan: When next you see a friend going through a tough time, pray for and support them; comfort them.
I will be addressing the issue of how husbands and wives can handle stress in marriage thereby creating a more cordial and intimate atmosphere together.
I will be writing about this topic “Stress in marriage” for some days so let enjoy the ride together.
Yesterday I wrote on
1. Financial pressure
2. Handling in-laws
And today
3. Comparison trap
Bible tells us they that compare themselves with themselves are not wise.
In the NLT we have another translation:
Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with reaching other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! 2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT
It is clear from the scripture that end result of comparison is usually not palatable. Why is this? Because it is a futile effort. It is wasting precious resources of time and energy. There are no basis for comparison.
Some people compare their spouses, children, jobs, possessions, cars etc When you form the bad habit of comparing you compare everything and anything.
Everybody is uniquely different, on a uniquely different journey, on a different time table in life and destiny.
We are all from different background with different circumstances.
When you compare, you introduce stress into your marriage. It produces a strain in your relationship. So stop comparing.
4. Doing beyond our selves.
This is like stretching ourselves beyond what we could do naturally. We need to be true to ourselves. Being truthful and sincere to ourselves is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
Where you know and accept your limits and you know your boundaries. You know the stage you are in, enjoy the stage not allowing anybody to push you beyond where you are.
Knowing what stage you are makes you aspire higher knowing that men are in sizes.
As couples, don’t forget we will all go through 3 stages on our married life. Seasons of not enough, Just enough and more than enough.
When you are in your season of ‘just enough’, don’t let people push you to doing like you are in more than enough season
I will stop here for today
May God grant us more understanding.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
