We started the topic “the intricacies of cheating on your spouse” yesterday. It’s important to never neglect each other.
Married Couples:
When you neglect each other, you become vulnerable. Both of you are in the days of your flesh. There are distractions out there. There may be somebody competing for his or her attention, and one of the ways to fortify your spouse against compromise is to give him or her a lot of attention. The devil feasts on feelings of neglect and will always attempt to set you up, so be wise. Sometimes, you might need to swallow your pride and put your ego aside for a while, but make sure you don’t play the ‘neglect’ card. Spend time with each other.
Oh yes, you have a busy work. Would you want to lose your spouse because of work? God forbid! So you must strive to strike a balance always. Take each other out! It is pathetic at the number of folk I have to handle in the area of compromise and adultery. There have been unlikely affairs with unbelievable people, and this is not different even as you grow older. This issue is not resolved with age, if anything; vulnerabilities increase with age, even as insecurities mount up.
One of the greatest causes of adultery, you wont believe, is when a spouse is deprived or starved of Jeru Trip! Jeru Trip is very important in a marriage. God that created it within marriage sanctity knows what He is doing!
God doesn’t just want you to have some speedy, rough, flight of Jeru trips, but wants you to get to the “mountain top!” It is amazing when I hear some women say they have never experienced a true “mountain top” experience!
I always tell men, you don’t use a helicopter for Jeru trips; that takes off and lands roughly! She is not going to enjoy it that way! Jeru trip is better done with an airplane; that taxis around before take off! That is how to fortify each other. Learn to listen to what she is saying and what she is not saying. The same goes for the lady. Love each other genuinely. Don’t be a Tom and Jerry Couple!
One of the purposes of making love with your spouse is to establish a bonding at the highest level. However, when this is done with someone you are not married to, a bonding also takes place, but it is an unhealthy bonding, because it is spiritually illegal, a direct violation of God’s injunction, a sin unto God and unto one’s body. Rather than soul harmony that happens with married couples, what happens is a soul tie that tends to suck one more into the compromise.
What if I make just one mistake; is a soul tie formed? The answer is yes, because the devil doesn’t need many mistakes, he only needed one to get you into trouble. You give the devil an inch, he takes a mile!
That is why the Bible says:
Eph 4:27 AMP
Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].
Just one mistake of David with Bathsheba, an intrigue and tragedy of murder, lies, deception and death of a baby were what ensued.
So what do I need to do to break a soul tie?
1. The first thing you have to do is to genuinely repent of the mistake and decide to stop the act.
When you say you have repented of a particular sin, and the next day, you visit the same person and announce that you only came to say hullo, knowing fully well that one thing will still lead to another, then you have not really repented. When you say you have repented and then he comes visiting the following week, and then you start cooking Rice and Beans for him when it is already late in the night, then you are just playing games with your destiny, because you sure knows what will happen afterwards.
And you know, God cannot be mocked. You can fool your pastor or parents, but don’t even think you can fool God. Don’t even nurse that idea because it is not possible. You need to understand that God does not only listen to the words of your mouth as you cry and say that you will never do it again, He looks into your heart and knows whether you are just acting or your are truly and genuinely repentant. This then determines the release of His mercy that can suspend judgment and overrule damning consequences. His mercy endureth forever.
What does it mean to repent?
It means a change of mind and a turn around. You don’t go back there again!
You want to break soul ties? The first thing is to repent genuinely.
2. The second thing to do is to forgive yourself and forgive the person that has wronged you.
When you are genuinely repentant, God forgives and forgets!
Heb 8:12 KJV
For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.
Take a look at the Message translation:
Heb 8:12 MSG
They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.
That is God for you! He is a merciful God. He is your father. He will forgive….well that is understandable…but forget? How is that possible?
I am not talking about amnesia here, that is a disease of forgetfulness. I am talking about when you genuinely repent, the blood of Jesus cleanses you and gives you a right standing with God as if you have never committed that sin! It is not as if the sin is still lurking somewhere in some hibernated corners of God’s brain (if there is anything like that) where it can be retrieved later, like restoring a file from recycle bin, it is that the sin is permanently and divinely shredded and does not exist again. There would be no records again and you become like you were before God before you ever committed that sin!
You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus!
Your slate is wiped clean, your life becomes anew, and you become new specie!
Well, of course you know that genuine repentance is not when you are habitually hooked to a particular sin…and you keep asking for forgiveness everyday. That is not true repentance, you are just trying to pacify your conscience and it is a dangerous state to be in.
So upon genuine repentance, God forgives and forgets! But do you know where the problem is? You have to forgive as well. Forgive the person that wronged you if that is the case, and then forgive yourself! That is very important. This stage is necessary in order to break soul ties and move on with your life! After asking God for forgiveness, stop gong back to ask again because there is no record again. You have been cleansed, so rise up as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus that you are!
I pray for you this morning that you will indeed come to to the knowledge of that which Christ has done for you in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I severe myself from every soul tie
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be faithful to your partner
Everyone has fears. It’s part of our human nature. Fear can be good or bad depending on if you allow it to control you. But children can overcome fear. Yes, you can overcome fear. But first, let us look at how fear can play out.
Your words, thoughts, actions can be controlled by fear. Fear can make you say the wrong thing, act the wrong way, and think the wrong thoughts. That is the truth of the matter. Having a fear can make you not even take any action at all. But I say again, you can overcome your fears. Yes, children can overcome fear. It’s one thing to be afraid, but it’s another thing to overcome them.
The Bible tells you to not fear because God is with you. Rather than fear, the Bible tells you to give all your fears to God. To release them to Him because He alone can help you overcome any fear; children can overcome fear.
Someone gave fear the acronym
F- False
E- Expectations
A- Appearing
E- Real.
As time goes on, we will look at each of these words to learn more about fear. But do not forget that children can overcome fear. You can personalize it; say to yourself, “I can overcome my fear. I am not in bondage to fear!” Yes, that there is the spirit! You can overcome your fears, and you surely will. God is bigger than those fears you know.
We’ll be considering the intricacies of cheating on your spouse this morning. It is one thing to find it difficult to sin, a situation where you have to really look and search for sin or the tools of sin to compromise, it is another story, another ball game entirely when the sin is so available, staring you in the face, calling and you, pulling you and wooing you with all kind of entreaties.
It is one thing to be tempted with the sin that doth not so easily beset you; it is another thing entirely to be poked at by the fingers of your weaknesses!
Such is the generation we have found ourselves!
Sin is available! Jeru trip is available at your beck and call.
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1 KJV)
We are not in this race of life alone! We’ve got some saints up there in the balcony of heaven, looking down on us and getting excited, when we say No to sin!
It is our responsibility then to lay aside every weight and the sin that doth so easily beset us! We’ve got to lay aside every spiritual fat and parasitic sin!
If you live in a very busy environment and you and your spouse are involved in an intense job, day in day out, you have to go a long way to ensure you keep the devil at bay.
Take for example, both of you work in a place like Lagos state, Nigeria, you leave home as early as 5.30am and sometimes you are not back till 10.00pm because of traffic congestion. The proclivity is that you will likely spend more time with your colleagues than with your spouse! It is with deliberate and decisive heart coupled with the fear of God that you make up your mind to be faithful in your marriage.
Here are few points to note:
1. Cheating on your spouse is cheating on your destiny Why is this so? It is a direct violation of the principles of God, so you end up not having God’s support and favour in your life. It is not worth it.
Why would you cheat on your spouse? What kind of Jeru trip are you looking for that you won’t find in your spouse?
Why play with fire. Will you carry fire in your bosom and not be burned? Will you walk on hot coals and your feet not be singed? I doubt!
2. Cheating on your spouse is a stupid idea. Now I didn’t say that, God did. I am only echoing what God said.
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. (Proverbs 6:32 KJV)
Now see that in Message translation because KJV seems to be really nice there.
Adultery is a brainless act, soul–destroying, self–destructive; (Proverbs 6:32 Message)
Brainless! That’s not nice at all, but that is the truth! What the scripture is saying here is that if we can think deeply, we would not dabble into adultery for anything in this world.
We see right there the implication of adultery.
Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good. For jealousy detonates rage in a cheated husband; wild for revenge, he won’t make allowances (Proverbs 6:33-34 Message)
The next time somebody is trying to talk you into some compromise, go ahead and tell that other person, that would be a stupid idea.
There is something about being faithful. It has tremendous rewards!
To be continued.
May God grant us more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a responsible husband/wife.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be faithful to your spouse
Gen 3:1 KJV Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
Gen 3:1 AMP NOW THE serpent was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And he [Satan] said to the woman, Can it really be that God has said, You shall not eat from every tree of the garden?
The tactics the devil uses, even till today doesn’t change. It is important we get conversant with his tactics so that we can better prepare ourselves and safeguard our destinies by the help of the Holy Spirit from falling into his traps.
That is why the scripture says
2Co 2:11 KJV Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.
Amplified version says:
2Co 2:11 AMP To keep Satan from getting the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his wiles and intentions.
We must by the Spirit of God protect ourselves so that he does not get advantage over us in our relationships and marriage.
In verse one of the above verse, he said: “Yea, hath God said…” He still does the same today. What he does is to challenge the truth of God’s word in your heart.
He did the same thing for Jesus Christ! The temptations of Jesus Christ were crafted to challenge the word of God. That was why the moment Jesus Christ responded with “It is written…,” he won!
Why would the devil always challenge God’s word? The reason is obvious. The moment he makes you to doubt God’s word or to reject God’s word, he would have a foothold to operate.
So he comes and says things like: “Did God really say we should not have pre-marital sex?” “But everybody is compromising! Why should I be different?” “Can I really marry someone without ‘testing’ that person on bed?”
Sometimes, he even comes quoting scripture and misapplying it. He says things like:
“The scriptures says we must be wise as serpent, so I don’t think it is wrong to fight for my job at work place by sleeping with my boss” “Is it really wrong to be involved in adultery? David was adulterous, and yet God still said He is a man after His heart. Did God not approve adultery there? If God hates my adulterous life, He would have killed me!”
He comes and tells two people who are in courtship: “See, there is nothing wrong in kissing and petting. It is something we should do in order to express our love since we are sure of getting married!”
He tells another: “There is nothing wrong in masturbation. We must find a way to relive the pressure, in as much as we did not fornicate. Even one Pastor said it is okay…”
He tells a married person: “Your spouse is a mistake. You don’t need to divorce him/her, but you can just have affairs outside and God will understand that it is not easy!”
It goes on and on. The underlying thing I want you to see is that the moment God’s word is being challenged on any level; know that the devil is at work. The Holy Spirit will never come to counteract God’s word or to debunk it; He only comes to expound it.
Never yield ground to the devil. Resist him like the Jesus Christ did and he will flee. Adam and Eve yielded to the devil and lost the fullness of God’s plan. Jesus came to restore that loss, but he would have failed if he yielded to the devil when he was being tempted.
Every compromise you cooperate with alters something in the spirit realm. Make up your mind this coming month to resist the devil every day and consciously with the help of the Holy Spirit.
You cannot be yielding to your flesh and the devil every time if you want to go far! You cannot be saying some girl seduced you all the time while you sleep around recklessly. You cannot be saying a man forced you into compromise with his money.
The devil is not that powerful. He is as powerful as you allow him in your life. He needs your permission before he can trip you and trap you. Never allow him again. Don’t give him an inch!
Do it God’s way. There will no longer be delays in Jesus name. God will perfect everything in your relationship and marriage as you make up your mind to resist the devil.
Never forget this, if you can keep feeding your spirit with God’s word daily and consistently, and you believe His word, that same word of the Lord will keep you! That is why we have created this online Club for you! Visit it daily and keep learning all you can. Keep encouraging each other! Stay on your toes and be alert.
I pray that you will have a higher revelation of the person and the principles of our Lord Jesus Christ! Victory is yours!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In all things I give thanks. I will not allow the devil, pride, pressures of life and ignorance to steal this gracious act from me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me your wisdom to be a good spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 12:28 MSG Do you see what we’ve got? An unshakable kingdom! And do you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. For God is not an indifferent bystander.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make up your mind to stand strong in God
Do you know that what you say or do shows how responsible you are? People can quickly judge that about you (how responsible you are) without even spending much time with you or knowing you for long? So you have to watch what you say. This truth cannot be overemphasized.
Imagine someone sees or hears you making fun of people all the time. Almost every time this person sees you, you are making fun of someone or doing one wrong thing or the other. What do you think they will say or think about you? It can’t be positive; therefore you must learn to watch what you say.
To you it may be fun and means nothing, but to the victim of your jokes it means something. To the person observing you, it says something about you. It shows how irresponsible you are because only an irresponsible person would take it upon themselves to always make jokes about people. So you have to learn to watch what you say.
A responsible person would rather help, support, provide and befriend someone rather than make fun of them.
“My brothers God called you and chose you to be his. Try hard to show that you really are God’s chosen people. If you do all these things, you will never fall.” 2 Pet. 1:10.
May the Lord take away the spirit of irresponsibility from you and give a spirit of responsibility and love. May the LORD help you to learn how to watch what you say; Amen.
Prayer: Lord, I ask for the spirit of responsibility and love. This I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Action plan: To become responsible, know what responsibility means. Then act it out always. Keep the phrase ‘watch what you say’ in your mind always.
Isaiah 28:20 KJV For the bed is shorter than that a man can stretch himself on it: and the covering narrower than that he can wrap himself in it.
…and the covering narrower than he can wrap himself in it. Uhmmm… May we never be in this situation! It is a place where one is exposed and there is no covering. It is a place where one becomes exposed to the harsh weathers of this life, and there seems to be no covering.
It is a place where the different seasons of life become a disadvantage rather than leverage. It is a time where one’s nakedness is uncovered, where the finances are never enough and where shame is always in the offing.
It is a time when spiritual cold is easily caught because you are exposed to the elements of this world. It is a time when all the sounds are just sneezes and noises, and you are no longer a voice. It is a time where embarrassments become the order of the day, and your story seem to be on the lips of everyone.
It is a time where it seems there is no place to hide under, the blanket is useless, and the harsh weather of life takes over!
May I have the honour of telling you this morning, that this is not your portion? May I announce to you that if you have been coping with some of these experiences, it is time you rebel.
Yes, you read it right. It is time to rebel against what God has not packaged into your life. It is time to reject every thing the enemy is trying to programme into your life. It is time you reject every message form demonic dreams.
It is time you reject the tendencies you see in your lineage and is beginning to rear its head. It is time you say No because you are a child of God. It is time you pull out every tree that your heavenly father has not planted!
Throw away the wrapper, and take on the garment of righteousness. The wrapper of iniquity and compromise is too narrow, it will rather bring shame and rather than save from shame.
Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach! When you find yourself in a relationship with a person who has no fear or regard for God, your covering will be narrow. If you find yourself in an adulterous mess, the covering will be narrow.
Throw away this covering that is narrow and stop going through life in a cycle of broken relationships and jilting experiences. Go to where the real covering is!
Psa 91:1-2 KJV (1) He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. (2) I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
It is when you get in the secret place that you can be saved from the vicissitudes and the harsh weathers of this life. Let Him be your refuge and fortress. Put your trust in Him today.
The wrapper you have from that married man who is not your husband will not last, it will expose you. The house he rented for you will not cover at the end! Go for the real garment that lies in God
Mat 9:21 KJV For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.
Go for that garment. Decide to have a relationship with God rather than live with your issues alone. He will save you. He will embrace you in His everlasting arms and save you from the evil one. He will wrap you in His love and give you a new garment.
He will dress you up and decorate your destiny with dignity. He will glorify you with productivity and result. He will save you from the frustrations of this life and the shame that is lurking.
Call upon him today. Confess all sin. Give your life to Him and start a new beginning in Him. You will not regret this decision!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am free from shame. Shame is far from me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let the eyes of my understanding be enlightened.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 91:1 KJV (1) He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to go for a new garment.
We used to hear this phrase about marriage a lot long time ago, but nowadays, we hardly hear such a thing. The world has gone digital, fast and every body seems busy.
Knowledge has made people to replace old values with modern ones. The question is does modernization makes our conclusions about marriage right?
The modern day view of marriage is contractual while the good old days view marriage as in Gods eyes as a covenant.
Contractual view says, you do this, then I do that’. While covenant says, I will do this for you because I am committed to you. It doesn’t really matter what you do or don’t do’.
Marriage as a contract is always based on negotiations, convenience, and protection of self. Each spouse maintain their lanes and do what is expected. Otherwise the marriage contact does not work and they go their separate ways which means separation or divorce.
In this case, marriage is not for a common goal. There is no fulfilling purpose or destiny together in view. There is no sense of purpose or God bringing the couples together to fulfill a mandate or an assignment.
All that is involved is ‘I am attracted to you, and you to me. We have a love connection between us and we are good to go’.
Marriage is for better for worse. This is a little scary which brings with it a sense of awe. Two hearts beating as one is a mystery. That mystery can only be unraveled by the help of divinity.
Here, there is a sense of a divine assignment. Marriage is not just lived on their terms but on the terms of God, who is the covenant witness and judge in the marriage union.
Each couples live their lives following a particular road map created by the creator. That means there is a supervisory role performed by God.
The husband cannot just do whatever he likes to do, neither can the wife do whatever she likes or wishes in the marriage.
There are guiding principles, guiding both husband and wife. There is a race set before each one to run, and each one runs with passion looking to God for grace to accomplish his/her race.
Here, the wife is protected as well or as much as the husband is protected too. Both husband and wife have a common father who protects their interest.
It is not based on human standards that the rights of the husband is protected above the wife. Where the woman is subjected to servitude. Or in some cultures, where the wife is overly protected above the husband.
Marriage is indeed till death so us part.
May God grant us grace to so His will.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have an understanding of what marriage is, my home is blessed
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let the eyes of my understanding be enlightened.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking. Genesis 24:19 (KJV)
This devotional is continued from yesterday, where we talked about how to dispel every iota of darkness in relationship and life generally.
In verse 2, it says But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.
You see, we must come out plain and lay our cards on the table before God. There are some actions that can invalidate the benefits of His mercies in terms of favours and opportunities. I must renounce all forms of iniquity. I have to quit double dating. I have to stop seeing that married person. I have to stop frolicking with that colleague of mine! You have to make up your mind not to walk in any form of craftiness and stop quoting God’s word to suit yourself in a deceitful way! Your conscience must be clear with God. This is how to live the life of God. Devoid of any deception!
That is why the scriptures says in Galatians “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked…” You can’t play God around. You can’t continue in some habitual sins and then think you will still have God’s support and favour. It doesn’t work like that!
Check out Amplified version of verse 2
We have renounced disgraceful ways (secret thoughts, feelings, desires and underhandedness, the methods and arts that men hide through shame); we refuse to deal craftily (to practice trickery and cunning) or to adulterate or handle dishonestly the Word of God, but we state the truth openly (clearly and candidly). And so we commend ourselves in the sight and presence of God to every man’s conscience
And then in Message translation:
We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don’t maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes. And we don’t twist God’s Word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God.
Verse 6 says For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
You see, there is a light in your heart. That light shines there. When you are going through issues, and there seems to be darkness all around, realize that the darkness is only without, and not within, and so you can reach out to the light within, and come forth with God’s word in your mouth to dispel the darkness without. And you know what, the light shines in darkness and darkness cannot withstand it. So be aware of that! There is light within you. In the midst of that depressive wave and despondent waters, reach out within to the light of God’s word and out of thy belly shall flow rivers of living waters!
The next time darkness tries to envelope your mind because of negative thoughts that tells you might never get married or God has abandoned you, reach out to that light within that says “the thoughts of God towards you are thoughts of peace and not of evil…” The next time darkness descends on your soul because of negative thoughts that tells you your life is an error because of past mistakes and that you are suffering because of past misdeeds, reach out to the light within that tells you, “Behold, I will do a new thing.”
Reach out to the light of God’s word that tells you, “God will restore all you have lost.” Reach out to the light of God’s word that tells you that “you will forget the shame of your youth!”
I pray for you this morning that God will open your eyes to see that they that be with you are more than they that oppose you. I pray you realize that greater is He within you than he that is in the world!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I see correctly. I know how to dispel every darkness in me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to use your word to dispel darkness in my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “And Abram said, Lord God, what wilt thou give me, seeing I go childless…” (Genesis 15:2a KJV)
Yesterday we looked at how important to it is for wives everywhere to praise their husbands.
We looked at how a little girl danced in honor of King Herod and praised him till he was willing to part with half of his kingdom. When women, praise amazing things happen.
Today, we will be looking at ‘Husbands appreciate your wives’.
To appreciate means to recognize the good qualities of something or someone. Dear husband, your wife is your helper created for you and for your good.
The fuel that keeps wives going and functioning in their calling as helpers is appreciating their efforts and labour of love. Any husband that doesn’t appreciate his wife is stifling the potentials of his wife.
Appreciation comes with a sense of thoughtfulness that allows for gratitude. You become grateful for the little gestures and the big things your wife does.
Every wife is moved to do more or motivated by words. For example, if your wife cooks a meal and you appreciate her, she will remember the appreciation and will want to do better the next time she is cooking. If she is not appreciated, however, the creativity to do more or do better is not there.
If the love language of your wife is words of affirmation, you have to give her big doses of appreciation. Appreciate your wife for her looks, appreciate her for her dress sense, appreciate her being a home keeper, appreciate her for her intuition, appreciate her for her sacrifices, appreciate her for her kindness, for taking care of the children, for believing you, for encouraging you, for being there, for doing the dishes, and the list goes on and on.
One thing about appreciation like praise is that the more you give it, the more you see reasons to give more appreciation. In the same way, the less you show appreciation, the less you will find reasons to show appreciation.
May God grant us the grace to show more appreciation to our wives.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will show appreciation to my wife
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, teach me how to appreciate my wife better.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Appreciate your wife today.
The mercy of God is one beautiful thing we enjoy from God daily. The bible tells us so
“The Lord’s love never ends. His mercies never stop. They are new every morning. Lord, your loyalty is great.” Lamentations 3:21 ICB.
God displays a basic and constant part of Himself through showing us mercy. That you didn’t need to be perfect before He sent Jesus to die for you. In your imperfect state He saw the need for His mercy in your life.
This mercy of God goes beyond Him just making us wake up and rise up from our beds every day. It shows in many ways that even you can’t count or see. Or can you name all the times God has shown you mercy in times you didn’t know you needed mercy? Some favourable things that have happened to you were just His way of showing you His mercy.
The times when you don’t ask for or even know that you need the mercy of God, He has shown up for you. Because that is His specialty. He sees the future ahead of you. He knows what is going to happen if you make friends with some classmates with questionable characters in school. That’s why He made your parents not allow you go to the party they invited you to. He knows everything about your life – He is your Creator.
The mercy of God is a constant reminder that He is still alive and working in your life. No matter what you may be happening to you right now, know that His mercies are working for you. Ask Him daily for His mercies as much as you can. He never tires of hearing you ask. Remember that they are new every morning.
May the mercy of God be yours forever and ever. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Prayer: My Heavenly Father, thank you for your mercies over me. Thank you that they are new every day. I ask that you daily load me with your mercies. In Jesus; name, amen.
Action Plan: Never forget to ask for the mercies of God daily.
This morning, we will be looking at a couple of scriptures in 2 Corinthians 4
Verse 1: Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;
Okay, there is something we have to keep on seeing. “Seeing we have this ministry…” There is something we must keep in our perspective. It is the reason for the season. It is the reason for which God has laid on us individually. You see, you must come to a place where you have to lay hands on that which He has laid hold on you for. You have to keep on seeing the assignment; it is the big picture. It is that which you have to focus on.
The moment Abraham began to see something else, there were issues.
“And Abram said, Lord God, what wilt thou give me, seeing I go childless…” (Genesis 15:2a KJV)
What you see matters a lot. What you dwell on will either fill you with energy and enthusiasm or drain you and leave you dry and weak.
That verse goes on to say “as we have received mercy.”
That is powerful. We are all products of His mercy. You need to lift up your hand right now and say, “Lord, thank you for your mercy!” The mercies of God endureth forever. It is by His mercy that we have not been consumed. His word says “I will have mercy upon whom I will have mercy and I will have compassion upon whom I will have compassion.” Thank God because you are a child of His mercy. Jesus took His blood as an offering, He was the offering and the offerer, and He went ahead into the Holy of Holies and sprinkled His blood on the mercy seat!
That is why God has been merciful to you and I. When I make the most costly mistakes in which I think I am a goner, the blood of Jesus begins to speak mercy! That blood speaks better things!
And the next thing it says is “we faint not”
How come we must refuse to faint, get wearied or give up? Two things there,
1. Seeing what we have
2. We have received mercy
There is something I have because of His mercy. I must focus on that and refuse to cooperate with the devil’s antics to get me depressed!
Here is amplified version of verse 1
Therefore, since we do hold and engage in this ministry by the mercy of God [granting us favor, benefits, opportunities, and especially salvation], we do not get discouraged (spiritless and despondent with fear) or become faint with weariness and exhaustion
Make up your mind. The fact that you are not in a relationship yet, should not get you discouraged in any way. Why? The mercies of God will find and locate you. The fact that your courtship got broken and you are so discouraged about it all is not enough to make you stop going to worship in His presence. The fact that you have issues in your marriage should not leave you despondent with fear! God’s mercy is what we have received and that mercy will bail you out and dispel darkness in your life!
To be continued tomorrow
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will see correctly. The light of God will dispel every darkness in me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let your light dispel darkness in my life.
When you tell another person that you will do something for them, especially when you say the words “I promise”, you are committing yourself to doing that thing at any cost. To love your neighbour means to keep your promise.
A good neighbor keeps a promise because no one likes to be disappointed. Or would you like to see your friends not show up for your birthday or a visit after they had promised they would? Or how about not meeting your friend at home when they had promised they would be home?
A promise is a strong commitment and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Even the bible cautions us not to make promises we can’t keep. Jesus said that we should stand by what we say. If it is a “yes” we should stand by it. And if it is a “No” we should allow it to be a strong one and not change our minds. This is also a way to love your neighbour.
Matthew 5:37 (KJV) But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
Your neighbor could be counting on you for help with something. It could be helping a classmate at school with some school work. Or helping a friend with some money. And you could be their only hope at doing or getting something. If you end up doing otherwise it could damage your friendship with them. It could also make people to label you as a bad and not trustworthy fellow. This indeed is not a way to love your neighbour.
Again, you only treat people as you would want them to treat you. Remember, no one likes to be disappointed.
May the Lord help you to make promises you can keep. May He also help you not make promises that you can’t or wouldn’t keep. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, give me the grace to not make empty promises. Empower me to make good my promises. Help me to obey the “love your neighbour” commandment. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Action point: Before you commit yourself to help someone, pray and let the Holy Spirit lead you.
Husbands are to appreciatetheir wives, while the wives are to praise their husbands. That’s the magic.
I will dedicate the aspect of ‘wives praising their husbands’ to all husbands and fathers. To mark our father’s day celebration. The day is for fathers’ so let’s focus on how to make them happy and feel good because that’s the essence of marriage.
I believe this is in order. Then the aspect of ‘husbands appreciating their wives’ will come up tomorrow.
The two words appreciate and praise have same elements but are slightly different. We just concluded celebrating our fathers and by extension our husbands. It feels good to know that at least a day is set aside to shower encomium on our fathers and husbands.
Every wife should know how to praise her husband. If you wait till your husband is perfect, you will wait a long time. Besides, who says you have the right standard to judge him? You may have a thousand things against him, look for and focus on the good things he has done.
How he has been faithful? How he has been a good father to your children? He didn’t neglect you when you were pregnant, he didn’t abuse you, he provided for you, he prayed and fast for you.
The truth is that your husband has done so much for you, that you are not even aware of. It will take eternity to discover some of the things our husbands have done for us. Just like it will be in eternity to unravel the so many things our heavenly father has done for us.
Sometimes we have misjudged their motives, yet God is the judge of all and He looks into the heart.
God our heavenly father loves praises and men are created in the image of God, so there is a part of every man that craves praises.
If every wife will look beyond the pains and hurts and just praise your husbands for what they do, I believe that praise will work wonders.
But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, And so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. Matthew 14:6 – 7 AMPC
That is what praise can do. We can learn this principle from this young girl, who despite who King Herod was or whatever he had done, danced with all her heart, honored him till he felt so wonderful.
She could access what the king had by simply honoring him. She brought herself to a place of prominent to forgetting herself and praising the king first. She was rewarded for it.
Let us all as wives focus on praising our husbands. Let us be selfless. Let us not be too mindful of ourselves.
We can’t dance unless we learn to forget whatever issues, grievances we had towards our husbands. For us to dance in a way that pleases and catch the attention of our husbands, our hearts must be free of offences.
Have a light heart. So you can dance well. All you want is for your king to open his mouth and give you half of his kingdom, his heart, his life, his commitment, his loyalty, his attention.
The principle is do his own first.
May God grant us the heart of humility to rid our hearts of everything that will not make our hearts light, so that we can dance for him.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will honour my husband and king
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, teach me how to honor my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Praise your husband today.
What do we do with all the things we have been learning, reading, and listening to? How do we become productive with all we have learnt? The Scripture rightly says that a man of knowledge increases strength. But again, the same scripture says that knowledge puffeth up! Where is the balance?
What do we do with knowledge so that it becomes strength?
1. Be a doer, not just a hearer
But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. (James 1:22 KJV)
When we hear only without doing, the Bible says we are deceiving our own selves. Now, sincerely, that is not a good place to be. The greatest level of deception is when you deceive yourself!
If you heard in church that sleeping around is not good for you, don’t just hear that, be a doer by disconnecting from all sexual partners. That is when knowledge becomes wisdom, and that is when your strength is increased.
If you read in a book that life is about working principles, not just floating around, sit down and apply that to your life! It is one thing to acquire so many books and tapes, it is another thing entirely to sit down, eat those things and do them.
Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like (James 1:23-24 Message)
Can you imagine that? Hearers who are not doers have identity issues. They don’t know themselves and they don’t know who they are in God!
2. Do not allow what you have learnt to slip
Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip. (Hebrews 2:1 KJV)
You are asked to give more earnest heed. It means to keep a firm grip on what you have heard. Why? Because knowledge is slippery in nature! You can hear something in the service in the morning, and by afternoon if you are not careful, you have allowed it to slip carelessly.
So what do you do with what you hear? You keep a firm grip of that knowledge in your heart! How do you do that? If the heart has hands, it would just have been explicit on how to do that. The hands of your heart are stretched out in meditation. You place a firm grip on what you have heard when you meditate on that thing. That way, it becomes difficult to slip away.
Another thing you can do to keep a firm grip on what you have heard is to pray in the Spirit over that thing. It will take you to a higher level of understanding.
3. Marry the right person for you
God’s word in your life can be rendered unproductive when you align with the wrong person in your life. You cannot marry anybody and everybody. There is the right man for you and the right lady for you. Not every good person is meant for you. A good person might not be the right person for you. There is a difference between Mr. Right Now and Mr. Right!
The scripture talks about wicked men that walk with a froward mouth The scripture talks about evil men whose mouth speak froward things The scripture talks about evil men who leave the path of uprightness The scripture talks about evil men who walk in the way of darkness The scripture talks about evil men who rejoice to do evil The scripture talks about evil men whose ways are crooked
The scripture talks about strange women who flattereth with her words The scripture talks about strange women who forsake guides of their youth The scripture talks about strange women who forgetteth the covenant of their God The scripture talks about strange women whose house inclineth to death Then the scripture talks about men that lie and cheat, women that deceive and nag, and so on and so forth.
What this means is that you don’t dabble into marriage like you are playing cards. You walk down the aisle deliberately knowing what you are doing with God’s help. You don’t fall in love with anybody because falling in love with the wrong person can snuff out your fire for the things of God. You don’t fall in love with a figure; you fall in love with a person and with God’s direction.
Getting the right person can be simple, sincerely. Just get busy for God and serve Him sincerely from the depths of your heart. Serve Him with your heart and with your substance. I have shared severally from my experience. I never for once had to pray about marriage. God actually interrupted me while I was serving him. I had postponed marriage or relationship till after school but God interrupted me while I was just serving Him and getting busy for Him. The reason I didn’t run after marriage was not that I was spiritual; I was just not interested! But God was interested! Just get busy for God!
Remember Adam had to fall into a deep sleep before Eve could be presented to him? Maybe you need to sleep and put your mind at rest and then see what God wants to do in your life! What if Adam had refused to sleep? He would have disallowed God from doing what He wanted to do. Let God interrupt you rather than you interrupting God!
I pray that God will grant you more understanding in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The word works for me. I am an ardent stickler of the word.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to daily meditate on the word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. (James 1:22 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Meditate on a verse about marriage.
Tunrayo borrowed Lola’s Geography notebook from school to copy the new lesson into her own notebook. She flung the notebook into her bag and pushed the bag aside to the wall. When it was time to leave for home, Tunrayo stuffed her books and pen into her bag, crushing all the items in it, before zipping it right. The next day at day, when she returned Lola’s book, it was not like it was before. The edges were bent, there was oil stains and water marks all over it. (Does this portray “love your neighbour”?)
‘Tunrayo, what happened to my book?’ a shocked Lola asked.
You see, Tunrayo didn’t know that she was destroying Lola’s book with the way she was handling it. And she returned it not the way she borrowed it from Lola.
Let’s see what God has to say about this in the bible, in line with love your neighbour as yourself.
“A man might borrow an animal from his neighbor. It might get hurt or die while the owner is not there. Then the one who borrowed it must pay the owner for the animal. Exodus 22:14 ICB
Well, in this case, it’s a notebook that was borrowed. Yes, Fikayo gave it back but it wasn’t the way she had borrowed it.
The thing is, would you like to receive your belongings back in a rough, torn or dirty way? If no, then why would you want to do that to someone?
Remember, loving your neighbor is a sign of how much you love yourself and how well you want to be treated. If you want to be treated well by others, treat other people well too. If you love yourself well, you will love others too; you will love your neighbour as yourself.
What should Fikayo had done with Lola’s notebook? She should have handled it with care and ensured she returned it as she had received it. Even better than she had. That would have made Lola happy and ensured that she lend more of her books to Fikayo. But with what Fikayo did with the book, Lola might likely never borrow her anything ever again.
May you receive the grace to be a good neighbour. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, make me a good neighbour. Help me to love your neighbour in Jesus’ name, amen.
Prayer point: What have you borrowed from people? Did you return them in a good condition? Or a bad one?
Yesterday, we started on the topic what a wife wants from her husband, and we listed four points that men ought to take note of.
We said a woman wants 1. A head, not a headache 2. A protector, not a manipulator 3. A caring husband, not a scary one, and 4. A praying husband, not a preying one.
Today, I will tell you two more things every wife wants from her husband.
5. A gardener, not a scavenger Every woman is like a garden of treasures. When a gardener is through working on a garden, there is order. When a scavenger is through, there is disorder. A gardener nurtures, a scavenger ruptures! A gardener prepares the garden for productivity; a scavenger is looking for what’s in it for him. It is a whole world of difference! A scavenger wants to raid your garden and if as a single you are involved with one, it’s time you send him parking and close your gate!
6. A romantic husband, not a sarcastic one Women love it when their husbands are romantic. All the things a man used to do and say while he is wooing them, they want it to continue. If the man is wise, he will oblige to that. Ladies don’t like abusive men, men who use them as joke objects all the time, identifying and poking at their weaknesses rather than emphasize their strengths! It is not a good idea when you are inspired to crack some dry jokes directed at your wife each time you see her!
You will lose her gradually doing that! Rather, learn her love language and speak that language! If what it will take for you to have a good home is to help her a little in the kitchen, then do it!
As a young couple, I would bathe our boys from when they were just four days old! My wife loved that, so I took it upon myself to do that for all the boys till they were old enough to take care of themselves. Those were the early years when I had not started writing devotionals and I had time in the mornings.
Now, that may not resonate with you, and your wife might not even want to trust you with a four-day-old baby, but find something you can do to make her happy! That is how to be a man!
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a husband indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22 KJV)
It is interesting to note that the scripture above says, He that findeth a wife, not a sister, not a girl, but a wife! In other words, you must be a wife material before being found.
You see, the scripture cannot be broken. It is the wife material that would be found, not any other thing! So the next question is how does one become a wife material?
First of all, we will attempt to answer that question by looking at what a wife material is not. Sometimes, you find out what something is by studying what it is not.
You are not a wife material when
1. You are lazy When you read through who a virtuous woman is in the scriptures, you will know that laziness is not part of the virtue being described there. If you have doubts, go through Proverbs 31: 10 – 31. Listen to me, if you are lazy, you need to start working on that now, so that it will not affect your marriage eventually after marriage.
A good wife should Know how to cook. A good wife is a homemaker. Women are usually multipliers. Start to discipline yourself and learn the basic things.
It is not exactly like a wife should become the house help, and I am not advocating that the husband should do nothing at home. It’s so simple, a wife should not be lazy. How do you know you are lazy? Somebody would have told you! If your mum or dad has ever told you that you are lazy, it is true! Don’t argue, just say mum, how can I make adjustments? Be humble! Don’t wait for your husband to confirm that!
2. You are sleeping around You are not a wife material when you are still sleeping around and you are generous with your body! It is a direct violation of God’s way of doing things and such a lifestyle will bring difficulties into your life. The way of the transgressor is hard! A wife material is not into “aristo!”
3. You are spiritually irresponsible A wife material should develop herself spiritually. You need that spiritual maturity to help you balance your role as a wife-to-be, mother-to-be, and sometimes combining that with a vibrant career.
4. You are not accountable Accountability is powerful. As a young lady, who are your mentors? Who are you accountable to? Who can you call on the phone when you have issues and you will get good counsel? Are you a tither? Do you honor God with your time and service? Are you serving in your local assembly?
5. You are selfish A wife material is selfless. You don’t consider yourself alone! Marriage is about being selfless. Two people who are married and are selfish will soon crash their marriage. Marriage can only survive when the two people involved love themselves genuinely and are not selfish
6. You are already living with him You are not a wife material by living in his house when you are not yet married. One of the marks of being a wife material is to respect your body and honor God with it. But when you are already involved in compromise repeatedly and without repentance, you are not really honoring your body!
Don’t travel over to meet him where he is and then spend days with him. If you do that, you will be sowing the wrong seeds into that relationship and you are not going to have God’s support and favor doing that.
What if you are already doing that? Park out of his house! You are not married!
What if I park out and he leaves me? Then he is not your husband!
Your husband will be willing to wait for you. That is how you carve some respect for yourself.
When you look at the concept of a “wife” in the scriptures, it says, you are a help meet for him. Your entrance into his life translates into favour for the family!
Are you preparing yourself in that regard? You see God is not an author of confusion, so He will not bring into your life what you are not ready for! Are you really ready for marriage? Do you love yourself? Are you really single in the sense of it? Have you gone past that stage where you are looking for someone to complete you?
It is a wife material that would be found. Not any other thing, so my challenge to ladies this morning is, are you a wife material?
I pray for you this morning, that God will open your eyes the more and help you to be better prepared, and to be found by your husband! You will be found in Jesus name! I curse every operation of the spirit of delay in your life and declare that God’s counsel over your life will stand in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to prepare for my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom to be all God wants you to be.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 18:22 (NET) The one who finds a wife finds what is enjoyable, and receives a pleasurable gift from the Lord.
Yesterday, we lookedat what every man wants in his spouse that women need to pay attention to. Today, it’s the other way round, we’re looking at what a wife wants from her husband, so let’s go!
1. A head, not a headache This is one of the vital things a wife wants from you. A man is supposed to be his wife’s head, not her headache. What is the head supposed to do? The eyes are located in the head, so one of the principal responsibilities of a man as the head is to cast a vision for the family and give direction as well. The mind is located in the head, so the man is supposed to be a thinker and be responsible.
Being the head does not mean she is subservient to you, for there is nothing the head can do alone. It is the body that holds the head and so the head needs the cooperation of the neck and the body to function in its assignment.
The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. (Ephesians 5:23 Message)
There are some singles ladies in courtship that are already having sleepless nights by virtue of who they are involved with. This is not the plan of God for you, and when you see negative trends like that, the man is not likely to change after marriage. Don’t close your eyes to all the red lights because you want to get married desperately.
2. A protector, not a manipulator A man is supposed to be the protector of the lady, even in a dating situation. But what is rampant today is a brazen display of manipulation and high degree insincerity. We have men today who are not really interested in marriage but just in jeru trip. A wife wants to feel safe and protected
As a lady, there is no point courting such a man because if you are not careful, he will soon have his way while you are left heartbroken. A manipulator knows how to feed your weaknesses just to get what he wants. A husband that manipulates knows how to logically blame the wife for everything.
3. A caring husband, not a scary one There are wives that can’t talk in their matrimonial home. They are permanently muted. For such women, the fear of their husbands is the beginning of wisdom! There are even ladies who are in courtship and they have no say. Now, this is very defective and it is not God’s order! The man that loves God and loves his family does not scare. You don’t rule your home with an iron fist, you rule with love.
A situation where the boy is playing football, but upon hearing the blast of dad’s car horn, dives through the window, the wife rushes to the kitchen to get food ready…. all because the lion of the tribe of his house has come! Children raised in this kind of atmosphere always rebel in the end. Be caring, rather than be scary!
4. A praying husband, not a preying one It will interest you to know that every lady wants a spiritual man. Every lady wants a man that will wake her up to pray. Every lady wants a man that can lay hands on her and bless her. Now, you don’t have to be a pastor to do that. You only need to have a relationship with God.
Tomorrow, I will show us more things a woman wants from her husband.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a husband indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
Today we will be learning how to love your neighbour as yourself from the story of Tom.
Tom glanced outside of the window, away from his video game, and noticed the dark clouds signaling rain any moment now. He returned to his game till it began to rain. It rained for hours. Remember the story is about ‘love your neighbour as yourself.’
Later that day, Fikayo, Tom’s roommate returned from class and found his clothes drenched on the line. He knew Tom had seen him this morning when he was washing. Why hadn’t Tom helped him to pack his clothes off the line before it rained? Did Tom not learn “love your neighbour as yourself”?
“Tom, why didn’t you help me to pack my clothes when it began to rain?’ asked Fikayo. ‘I don’t know.’ Tom replied.
Fikayo shook his head sadly and left Tom to his video game. “You must learn to love your neighbour as yourself,” he thought as he left.
In the bible, God laid down some instructions to the Israelites concerning this “love your neighbour as yourself” matter.
You might see your fellow Israelite’s ox or sheep wandering away. Don’t ignore it. Take it back to its owner. The owner might not live close to you. Or you might not know who he is. Then take the animal home with you. Keep it until the owner comes looking for it. Then give it back to him. Deuteronomy 22:1 – 2 ICB
He says that it is a sin if you act nonchalantly towards your neighbor’s belongings. Not that you should be on the lookout for their things. No. What it means is that, when you are in a position to help keep their things safe, you should do so. Love your neighbour as yourself.
Just like Tom in our story. He knew it was going to rain and he didn’t help his roommate – his neighbor, to pack his clothes in. Even if Fikayo was not his roommate, but because he saw him washing and Tom was around when it began to rain. He should have portrayed “love your neighbour as yourself.”
All he could have done was to take some minutes to demonstrate how much he loves his neighbor by helping to pack his clothes from the line. Learn to love your neighbour as yourself.
God isn’t saying that you should love your neighbour as yourself because they are good, but because He wants you to grow to a point where you can love people irrespective of who they are or what they do to you.
May God bless you and give you a heart of love for people. Amen
Prayer: Lord, help me to act responsibly towards people’s things around me, in Jesus’ name, amen.
Action point: Be watchful of people’s thing’s around you; love your neighbour as yourself
