Sally struggled in her thoughts. Since she has given her life to Jesus, nothing spectacular has happened in her life, or so she thought. She wondered whether she would eventually make it.
Sometimes, her thoughts would wander away and meander into the terrain of doubt and the foggy path of faithlessness. Has she made the right decision in serving God? It looked like those that didn’t know God or are not as spiritual as her are getting things done faster, getting married, and are happier.
Really, she is confused. It is the same experience with George. He is not sure this “born-again thing” will lead him anywhere. He feared being a loser at the end of the day. It simply seems walking with God is the slowest thing that can ever happen.
The couple down the road the Johnsons are not spared either. The economic downturn of their nation is really biting into their finances. They wake up every morning, hoping to japa! All hope seems lost!
Well, I am here this morning to encourage you! This Will Not End In Shame!
“Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them. They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded.” (Psa 22:4-5, KJV)
The ones that have gone ahead of you trusted in God, and God delivered them. Trusting God does not mean trouble will not show up, but when you trust Him, no trouble or issue will overcome you.
They trusted in God and they were not confounded.
Listen to me, people of God, when you trust God all the way, it will look like you are finished, but you will not be finished. It will look like you are a loser, but you will laugh at the end. It will look like you made a useless decision, but in the end, people will seek your counsel.
The wisdom of God is foolishness to this world. It cannot be naturally discerned.
Look at verse 5 in the Amplified version:
“They cried to You and were delivered; they trusted in, leaned on, and confidently relied on You, and were not ashamed or confounded or disappointed.” (Psa 22:5, AMP)
They trusted, leaned on, and confidently relied on God, and they were not ashamed or confounded, or disappointed!
This Will Not End In Shame!
I declare over you, you will not be ashamed. You will not be confounded. You will not be disappointed.
Stay with God, people of God. I say it again, stay with God.
Do you know the problem that people normally have with this?
They usually compromise while trusting God. The moment you get into some habitual stuff, the whole process is ruptured! And that is when it looks like you are defeated.
Why are compromise and sin dangerous here?
The devil is the accuser of the brethren. He is looking for every mistake and accuses to God not to bless you. Then He comes to you and accuses God to you. God does not love you! He will accuse man to God and accuse God to man.
And so, if you are not grounded in the word, you will tend to believe him and the moment you have an ill feeling towards God, your creator, and benefactor, the whole process of trusting God is tampered with.
If you don’t want to see shame as a child of God, stay away from sin. Stay away from all sexual sins.
A lifestyle of sin brings shame.
“By righteousness a nation is lifted up, but sin is a cause of shame to the peoples.” (Pro 14:34, BBE)
A lifestyle of sin makes people blaspheme the name of the Lord. They will say something like, “Oh, she is born again, why would that happen to her? Where is her God that cannot deliver her?”
But we see from the above scripture,
They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded!
But Pastor, I am not in any habitual sin, and yet nothing is happening? You need to know there are timings and seasons. When you want something done for you but it is out of God’s season for your life, it may not happen, simply because it is not time yet.
Also, you need to know that there are things you can do that will speed up God’s plan in your life, that will break the bars of delays, will make crooked places straight and that will release unprecedented favour into your life.
What are those things? Here are a few of them
1. Stay with God’s word. Read, meditate and confess regularly
2. Pray in the Spirit daily, it strengthens you to trust God more by opening your eyes
3. Be a tither and a giver. Be consistent. Support God’s work. Don’t be careless with it
4. Serve God in a local assembly. Spend your time, talent, and treasure for God
5. Forgive all. Stay out of strife.
6. Stay out of sin. Clean up your life. Let dangerous habits go.
6. Honour your biological parents and spiritual parents with your seeds. Listen to them.
7. Be full of thanksgiving
These are just a few things. In trusting God, you trust with all your heart. And I can tell you, you will not be ashamed! This Will Not End In Shame!
Accountability and Falling In Love. Ade and Sally were crazily in love. It was like love out of the novels. They were so much into each other. But they kept their love life secret. In no time, situations beyond them arose, and they are unable to handle it, so the relationship was ruined. You see, life has a way of dealing you things beyond your wisdom and often people who have gone through what you are going through are the ones that can help.
The Johnsons who are married found each other in similar scenario. The husband believes there should be no third party. In the end, the wife felt oppressed and their relationship nosedived quickly, enveloped with attitudes, withdrawals, and sexlessness too!
Accountability and Falling In Love.
I remember I was accountable as a student when I fell in love on campus in 1996. Even though our pastor was a student then, we still remained accountable. Before I asked my wife out, I informed our fellowship pastor and he encouraged me! May God not send you to a person who will talk you out of God’s plan for your life. Many people’s dreams have been killed by the people they trusted. Mephibosheth was entrusted to his nurse, but the nurse “dropped” him and he became lame!
Accountability is a spiritual exercise that protects your relationship. When you are accountable, it helps you to be cautious and to consciously stay away from pre-marital sex. It also helps you to report each other or even report yourself.
Most sexual sins are perpetuated when your relationship is shrouded in secrecy. The moment one party is saying you should not tell anybody, then something is wrong somewhere.
Accountability and Falling In Love.
After the wedding, accountability continues. It is a powerful principle you shouldn’t joke with. The couple should agree on who will mentor them. In marriage, when there are issues, it is wrong to pick up your phones and report each other to your parents or friends. When you do that, the situation will aggravate. Parents will be biased towards their children, friends will also be biased. You need somebody who has nothing to lose, is not biased, and is ready to be truthful to the two of you.
As couples, do you have somebody you can call on the phone when there are issues behind you? I do that for a lot of couples around the world, and situations that have degenerated into serious issues for days are often resolved in minutes, not so much because I know so much, but because of the grace of God upon my life.
As I conclude on Accountability and Falling In Love, I have discovered that if a couple can do these three things, all other issues are just minor.
These three things are
1. Stay away from cheating and unfaithfulness
2. Forgive each other quickly and stay accountable
3. Pray together regularly I pray that God will grant you more understanding.
Were we attracted to each other? Yes, and certainly! A lot of deeply spiritual folk will tell you that attraction doesn’t matter, but I am telling you right now, it matters.
Marriage is truly made in heaven, but it is lived here on earth. You can receive your spouse from heaven, but both of you will eventually tabernacle here on planet earth!
After marriage, all other people will not suddenly become ugly. That is why people who have no fear of God still go into extra-marital relationships.
Attraction Factor In Relationships and Marriages
I have had to counsel people who are in a relationship and would say they didn’t really like their partner but since God said he or she is the one. You see, something is obviously missing here. God is not an author of confusion, and He would not lead you to somebody you dislike forever.
Yes, it is possible you do not resonate with a particular person God leads you to when you are busy looking elsewhere, but the moment you embrace God’s plan, you will indeed love the person.
But there would never be a situation where God forces you to marry somebody you don’t like or somebody you hate.
A situation where you get depressed over how your spouse looks three days after the wedding needs not happen!
You won’t believe that the reason a lot of people are scared about asking God for who to marry is that they don’t want God to lead them to somebody they will hate. God is intelligent, much more intelligent than all the intelligence of the entire brains of the human race combined!
Attraction Factor In Relationships and Marriages
It is only God that knows the person who will be attracted to you and you will be attracted to, not just today, but also in some ten and twenty years’ time. People change over time.
Beyond physical attraction, therefore, there must be an inner attraction. Beyond the fact that she is thin or slim or lepacious, you must love her because, over time, a lepacious woman can become orobo! Figure eight can fast become figure football! What happens after that?
The reality you must accept is that your spouse will not look the same after twenty or thirty years of marriage. Attraction must be deeper than physical appearance because appearance changes over time!
For me, I have remained slim like I used to be, I only added a little and my tummy has been trying to come out, but I have been casting out all the calories. My wife is more rounded, but she has been trying to lay aside the weight as well.
Attraction Factor In Relationships and Marriages
As married couples, do not look on when you see the weight is traveling to where you don’t want to camp. Follow her to the gym if you have to. Take precautions. Do not eat late. Reduce taking “swallow” if you have to! Stay with each other and walk the walk together.
As married couples, keep the attraction on fire. Keep dressing for him within and without the home. He is moved by sight! Never forget that! Good morning
I am carried! You are carried. How many times have you spoken against God because of some little pressure? How many times have you had emotional outbursts at God because you don’t understand what you are going through? Watch the short video below before you read on. Respond accordingly to the prayers if you need to do so before you read on!
Look at the scripture again:
Isa 46:4 (AMPC) Even to your old age I am He, and even to hair white with age will I carry you. I have made, and I will bear; yes, I will carry and will save you.
Gid promised to carry you! No wonder at those times you went through the most difficult times, the times you were suicidal, the times you were sure you would die, the times you fell so deep into the dark pit with no flicker of light, the times you went through grief that seemed to lead to the grave, and yet, you came out alive…it is because you are carried! I am carried!
God has been carrying you all along! The Message translation says God will carry you on His back! Wow!
A quarter of what you went through sent others six feet below and you are thinking it is because you are strong? No, you are carried?
And you know what? God isn’t the one to drop you! God is not like the Nurse that dropped Mephibosheth!
2Sa 4:4 (KJV) And Jonathan, Saul’s son, had a son that was lame of his feet. He was five years old when the tidings came of Saul and Jonathan out of Jezreel, and his nurse took him up, and fled: and it came to pass, as she made haste to flee, that he fell, and became lame. And his name was Mephibosheth.
Oh yeah, men will dop you! They are not designed to be able to carry you for long! Sugar Daddies can’t carry you for long, they are only looking for the Sugar in you. Like the nurse, they will drop you at the last!
The only one who will carry is God. Like an eagle, He would bear you up! I am carried!
Deu 32:11 (MSG) He was like an eagle hovering over its nest, overshadowing its young, Then spreading its wings, lifting them into the air, teaching them to fly.
I only have one piece of advice for you this morning, dear singles and married!
Don’t jump off his back! So many things will endear you in order to entrap you, don’t jump! Hold him tight! Let His love radiate and envelope you. Let His glory surround you!
Don’t jump off at the beckon of the mammon spirit. Don’t jump off at the lure of lustful spirits.
Let Him carry you! And while at it, give Him thanks! Stop complaining and let God do His work in your life! I am carried!
I pray for you, God will intervene in that situation in Jesus’ name! If you need some repenting to do because you’ve spoken against Him, use the video above!
Good morning! I am carried! Did you get blessed? Hit the share button! Send to WhatsApp too and reach others! God bless you as you do so!
Who are you voting for? The Batists, the Artikulates, or the Obidients? In Nigeria’s political landscape today, we have three main contenders and they have creatively given themselves brand names, as derived from the names of the presidential aspirants.
The populace is divided into these three camps, and sentimentally too.
So, Who are you voting for?
Whoever you vote for or whoever has the most votes will become the president of this nation. His ideas would be foisted over 200 Million people.
His policies will be given the time of day! He will decide for us. He will rule over us.
The populace will leave through his ideas and policies. We will be constrained by his intellect and thought patterns.
He will decide for us. He will sign papers that might be beneficial or detrimental to us and our generations!
Before you vote, think!
But that is not where I am going this morning, the Nigerian political landscape is just helping me to arrive at a spiritual landscape.
Who you vote for takes control of your life via police and decisions at the National level.
So this is where I am going. Who are you voting for?
Rom 6:12 (MSG) That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don’t give it the time of day.
Don’t give sin a vote! If you do, sin will take control of your life! Sin will dictate the direction of your life and will keep you bound, often leading you to where don’t want to go! You remember “They are carrying me to where I want to go o!”
That is exactly what sin does. It holds you by the jugular and leads you into dark areas of life.
But I want to be free! I want to leave my life! Let me freely vote for who I want.
Well, here is the response:
Romans 6:16 (MSG) Hardly. You know well enough from your own experience that there are some acts of so-called freedom that destroy freedom. Offer yourselves to sin, for instance, and it’s your last free act. But offer yourselves to the ways of God and the freedom never quits. All your lives you’ve let sin tell you what to do.
Voting for sin becomes your last free act, just as voting for aspirants becomes your last free act for the next four or eight years! They take charge after that. That is what sin does!
God wants you back! Will you consecrate yourself afresh this morning? Will you stay away from that sexual sin? Will you focus on your spouse and stop dining with the devil on the adulterous dining table?
Who are you voting for?
I choose to vote for God like Joseph did when Mrs. Potiphar wanted to fry his destiny! He ended up in the palace.
I choose not to vote for sin as Samson did and his freedom was taken when his eyes were gouged out! He ended up taking his life!
Don’t Lose Hope Now! Hey, dear Singles and Couples! So, God has helped us and it has been over two decades of marriage! But to tell you the truth, it has not been one straight road. There have been bends, curves, potholes, and more! But His goodness, love, and benevolence never left us once!
So many crooked ways along the way, but God did promise to make the crooked places straight! Don’t Lose Hope Now!
Isa 45:2 (KJV) I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron:
So much heat along the way, enough heat to dry up every ounce of marital ecstasy, but God did promise that the heat will not smite us!
Psa 121:6 (KJV) The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
Marital waters so deep we thought we would be drowned and completely submerged but God did not allow it!
So much fire, so intense and fiery we thought we will come out completely baked into some burnt loaves that couldn’t be served, but we are still fresh like the five loaves, Jesus was still handing us out to be blessings because he said the fire would not burn us! Don’t Lose Hope Now!
Isa 43:2 (KJV) When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
Turns, twists, and meanders that navigated into the wilderness, and all ways seemed blocked, but they were momentary, the GOD GPS system worked right there, and the course was charted!
Isa 43:2 (KJV) When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
I can go on and on, but I am simply here this morning to let you know, that God is with you and will not leave you alone.
The challenges as a single are overwhelming, I know, the situation as a couple is intense and fiery, yes I know, but do not lose hope in Him. His love for you is eternal, His assurance for you is steadfast, His grace for you is unlimited and His mercy is everlasting! Don’t Lose Hope Now!
Heb 10:35 (KJV) Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.
Call upon Him now! He promised to listen! Yes, He promised to listen! Have a conversation with Him. Consecrate yourself this morning and start over with Him. He will hold you by the right hand, strengthen you from within, and carry you into victory! Don’t Lose Hope Now!
More Causes of Marital Delay. We started on this yesterday and we will continue this morning
3. You have taken over God’s business
Again, you can bring delay when you try to take over God’s job in your decision of who to get married to. God wants to lead but when you decide to lead yourself, you can bring unnecessary delays.
There are some jobs that are meant for Jehovah, but you are human. Only God knows the right spouse for you. It is good to seek His face and then trust His direction because most of the time, what God is telling you does not settle with your reasoning.
This is not to say that God will lead you to somebody you dislike or you hate and you will now be forced to marry somebody you don’t like. There is nothing like that. God is not an author of confusion. You may not like the person God shows you the very first time you set eyes on him or her, because he or she is still a stranger. But as you get close and become friends, you will come to love this person. Don’t ever marry somebody you dislike or you don’t love because God is “leading” you. There is nothing like that.
4. You have unrealistic wishes
When you have unrealistic wishes, it can actually cause delays. Too many romantic novels, Korean movies, Indian films, and all that can actually drive you to a place of wishful thinking and desires that are unrealistic.
Marriage comes with pressures and frictions caused by temperamental differences and personality disparities, which are visible even at the friendship stage. If you keep getting out of relationships out of the slightest provocation, then you are causing delays. Once you are led by God, the person is born again, Spirit-filled, has the fear of God, has a vision and a purpose, and you are attracted to the person, leave the rest to God!
5. You disregard and disrespect people
People are easily turned off when you have a negative attitude, or you are not courteous. It can actually turn away a potential suitor. Nobody wants to marry an angry, negative-attitude person. It is good to work on yourself when your parents, pastor, friends, and siblings have complained about the same thing. They are not all wrong, you are the one that needs to make amend with the help of the Holy Spirit
6. The purpose and sovereignty of God
Finally, there can be some form of delay because of the sovereignty of God. The purpose of God actually transcends your personal desires. Interestingly, the same purpose of God can speed up marriage when you are not even thinking of it.
If it is the purpose of God, what you see as delay will eventually bring smiles to you because you will rejoice at the end.
Conclusively, make sure you are not bringing a self-imposed delay on yourself with the aforementioned.
The other twist is those who are already married and feel God has not answered their prayers about their spouse’s salvation. Let me encourage you, God will answer your prayers. Keep praying, and never give up, until you see the travails of your heart. God is listening to every bit of your prayers and He will answer you with surety.
I pray that God will help you to make needed changes as a single and lead you into His plans for your lives. You will not be confused.
Singles Conference 2022 is some weeks away! Ensure you are around. The spirit causing the delay will be crushed! And we will be teaching you things you need to do from your end as well. The Spirit of Grace will come upon you and make things easy for you. Find links to register below!
Causes of Marital Delay. When I mean delay, I mean those that have been waiting for a while.
For some, nobody is showing up at all. For some, a few people are showing up and for some, too many people are showing up, just that they don’t seem to be the right people. For some others, it is always “un-marriageable” people. Here are a few scenarios that you need to check to know that all is well from your end.
Causes of Marital Delay
1. You are looking for the perfect person
If you are looking for the perfect person, there will always be some form of delay. You want that person that is totally packaged from heaven, spiritual, sound, can dissect the scriptures, can quote the scriptures and can engage you in spiritual discourse.
The reality is that you will never be able to know that perfect spiritual person because everybody is a project in the making. Knowing a spiritual person is not by the tongues such a person is speaking or by the activities in the church, all that can be successfully staged.
Again, there are many people who sound and appear spiritual as singles but become the most carnally minded after marriage because of the pressures that come with marriage.
Your judgment of who is spiritual and who is not may cause delays, because people usually come as raw materials and not finished products.
This is not to say that you should settle for an unbeliever, but if you are going to eliminate this tendency, you will need to appreciate the people that God sends into your life and not discard them like a piece of paper because they fell short in a certain area.
I still remember the brother who broke up with a sister because all her tongue was “sandal, sandal, sandal… the brother wondered when she will get to buy shoes!
Causes of Marital Delay
2. You are looking for the handsome or beautiful person
Attraction is necessary for deciding who to marry and I always say you should make sure you are attracted to the person you will eventually marry.
But when you are looking for that perfect person in terms of appearance that you have in your mind, you can actually delay yourself.
You see, there is a downside to everybody. Nobody will perfectly fit into the exact picture and definition of “completely handsome” or completely beautiful” in your mind. You will need to eventually drop some of your “stiff and strict” qualities if you really want to get married. After all, it is not as if you are perfect in your own appearance as well.
I will give you an example. You have always wanted a tall and fair lady. Now God sends Sister Sube into your life and she is tall and fair. She matches exactly the picture you have in mind, but the only thing is that she doesn’t fit into one of your desired qualities, which is the fact that she doesn’t have a straight nose. Her nose is flat, but you wanted somebody whose nose is straight like the lady you saw in that film as a teenager! For that reason, you concluded it is not God’s will. You may be wrong!
Another example, Brother Zerubabbel is the exact picture of the husband you’ve been praying for. He is spiritual, he has a hunger for knowledge, he can pray, he is a graduate, he has a good job, he has the exact height you want, he is dark and you have become close friends. The only thing is that his pronunciation is not polished. For example, He pronounces “three” as “tiri” and that irritates you. He pronounces “computer” as “kon-poo-taa” and that irritates you more. For that reason, you said it couldn’t be God!
Well, you may be wrong! Insignificant issues that can be conquered with some learning, polishing, fine-tuning, and adjustments should not be turned into gargantuan reasons for not getting married to a particular person
I will conclude on the Causes of Marital Delay tomorrow. Good morning!
Singles Conference 2022 is some weeks away! Ensure you are around. The spirit causing the delay will be crushed! And we will be teaching you things you need to do from your end as well. The Spirit of Grace will come upon you and make things easy for you. Find links to register below!
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional. Women are simply emotional beings! They are sentimental. Their way of thinking is miles apart from that of a man and they can be very illogical. You must understand and embrace this part about them and help bring the much-needed balance without creating issues.
That was how I got married and then any little thing somebody would be crying. I was like, what’s this? Lol…
By the way, today is my wife’s birthday! Some of you will be used to that now….anniversary yesterday, birthday today. Help me say a word of prayer for her!
Back to our topic, why are the womenfolk sentimental? I will be writing about women, both singles and married, so that men can understand who they are dealing with. 5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
Their Instincts
Yes, their instincts are responsible for why they can be very emotional. Particularly, the maternal instinct can make them overly protective and have exaggerated responses to something a man will be cool with.
Every man has to understand this or else there will be unnecessary issues here and there.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
2. Past Traumatic Event
If there has been some traumatic experience while growing up, especially if it has to do with some form of abuse, this can affect responses to people and issues. It would be so subtle that it wouldn’t be noticeable, but it would be there.
As the man, you must be willing to lovingly help out till there is total healing in the emotions.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
3. Their Hormones
Estrogen hormones can cause fluctuations. When there is a surge of this hormone, several emotions can run, fly, swim and do all together at the same time.
They become even more emotional during their cycles and there are different things that happen during this time. Some women can be in pain for a whole week because of this while some just breeze through like nothing is happening! Hormonal imbalance can add more to the waterworks.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
4. Women use their brains more
Men use the left side of their brains, which is why they are logical. Women use both sides of the brain! They can interpret situations in more depth than men!
They feel more, they sense things more, and little things affect them more.
Rather than the man saying something like” Why would this small thing make you cry or withdrawn? The wise man should show empathy.
5 Reasons Why She Is Emotional
5. Their Stress Level
When someone is feeling stressed, the Oxytocin hormone is released. When a man is stressed, their testosterone reduces the effects of oxytocin, which makes them aggressive and angry.
However, women have Estrogen, which enhances oxytocin. When this happens, the effects make her feel calm and caring.
Men hardly express their feelings and thoughts, so they react with anger or aggression. Instead of solving things by talking, they are always ready to “fight.”
On the other hand, women tend to want to talk it out so they can express their feelings that way.
Men feel like fighting their way out of their problems. Women want to talk their way out of any problem.
I Want To Apologize! Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary! God has been good! It has been an interesting journey! There have been ups and downs, but God has taken all the glory all the way! It has been stormy, windy, and dusty, but we are still here, serving the Lord, joyfully and tenaciously holding on to the call.
This morning, I want to apologize!
It’s been 23 years! God is good!
Wow, Pastor has done something really terrible? Well, we’ll see! You love “jist” and you want to know what Pastor has done? See how you are glued to your phone and reading with all rapt attention! lol… sometimes your spouse needs that kind of attention!
This morning, I want to quickly address married couples and singles! I want to bring out some choice words from the intricacies of my heart this morning as we take the 23rd floor of the marital mansion!
Back to my apology! I want to apologize to all the wives on KHC and beyond…
To all the wives, I want to apologize on behalf of your husband. I know some of you are hurt, oh…hurt is an understatement. Deeply hurt and intensely too. You’ve been keeping on the appearances, just going through the religious and domestic motions…but very disappointed and lacking energy within. Hurt and bitter. It’s just that you can’t get better by being bitter! You’ve attempted to cover the tears with powder and pomade. I want to say sorry! You have hibernated into your shell and withdrawn your affection! Sorry! Perhaps, you have begun or beginning to channel your thoughts to another…hey! It’s a trap to entangle your soul!
To all husbands, I want to apologize on behalf of your wives! She may not even know she has offended you, but you are withdrawn emotionally and just acting alone. You are succumbing to the trap of the stranger’s bosom gradually! Hey! It’s not the way to go! It’s the way of ruin! Focus only on her breasts…that is what you are covenanted to!
You have been disrespected and she doesn’t seem to understand! Sorry! You are the man! Brace up and give leadership by forgiving. Show the way by being faithful to the wife of your youth!
To all singles, I want to apologize to God! Many singles who are in “courtship” have deserted the “ship” and only “court” is left, courting disaster! Lord, I say sorry!
The bed has been desecrated, without remorse! It has become a form of greeting yourselves! This is not the faith handed over to us! Sex has become the sustenance of courtship, the spree is unending! Oral sex is the norm and you crave for the taste…how that is held confidently in private and microphone held in public day after day without a dint of repentance requires your pause, stop and return to the Almighty, for you have left Him for too long, and things go awry for those who leave Him!
Shall we enter the room of kinky sex and BDSM? Oh no, that is a forbidden area, akin to the evil forest of the olden days that no Homo Sapien is authorized to trudge!
Dear wife, he is sorry! Find a place for forgiveness, that you do not become headless!
Dear husband, she is sorry! Embrace her, and let her be your help and not your hell.
Dear singles, it’s time to say to your Lord and the lover of your soul, we are sorry! It’s time to make amendments and follow the book! God loves you and will forgive all misdemeanors and won’t even remember again upon repentance!
Let the turnaround begin in our relationships! Let the healing begin in our marriage! This is my prayer for you as we celebrate our 23rd anniversary today!
My family with the Ekines
May God bless you today and always! Don’t forget to share this devotional on Facebook, WhatsApp, and groups if it blesses you!
Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage. George and Sally fell in love with each other. They were so happy, they knew God was in it. They had prayed, fasted, and involved their pastors along. They were so sure it is going to be a time of heaven on earth.
Sally had a lot of childhood expectations for herself and the love of her life. She had plans and had her imagination filled with how they would live together in courtship. To her greatest surprise, not too long into their courtship, they started having clashes.
George was insensitive with his words and often passed unpleasant jokes and comments about Sally. Sally on the other hand was being overly sensitive. This continued for a long time until they both began to contemplate going their separate ways.
It was a rude shock to Sally that despite being in the center of God’s will they still have issues. The problem is that she is not even sure what she is doing wrong. If she must save her courtship she must know how to handle issues between them.
She decided to write out the things they were doing wrong in their courtship. She came up with the following.
Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage
They were shouting at each other.
They were accusing each other.
They were full of retaliation.
Rather than listen to one another, they would defend themselves.
They both wanted to win the argument.
They were fond of reporting one another.
They will keep malice for days and they both found it difficult to forgive and let go. After writing about all the problems they were facing in their relationship, She had a light bulb moment. Those were the things they should never do to each other. They must find a way to eliminate and handle the issues correctly.
On the other hand, the Johnsons have been married for three years and their marriage seems to go through high waters. They seem to argue over everything. It didn’t look like they went through courtship. Their differences seem so much and they don’t know how to manage them. Mrs. Johnson could not take any of these again, it was already affecting her health. They tried a few times to stop the incessant quarrels but soon they were back to square one.
There were times it got so bad, and other times they tried managing themselves. What could be wrong with us? She started to ask some questions. As she sat before me, I proffered some solutions to their issues. Here are some things she learned.
Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage
Be positive. Think good of each other. Don’t assume.
Identify the problem. Do not muddle things up
Never attack your spouse. You’re a team.
Express your feelings in love. Be considerate
See any mistake as our mistake.
Never be too big to apologize.
Be prayerful and learn to talk to God
Seek a professional counselor, not a family member to help resolve the conflict.
With these tips, she and her husband are on their way to recovering their marriage. Mrs. Johnson was determined more than ever before to do everything in her path to enjoy bliss in her marriage.
In the same way, we must be determined to seek help and do all we can to ensure our marriage is great! Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage
How To Understand That Special Gender. Mrs. Johnson has just arrived from the salon where she had gone to make her hair. Mr. Johnson is in the living room, relaxing and watching the Television.
Mrs. Johnson: (knocks on the door) Mr. Johnson: Who is that? Mrs. Johnson: My dear, it’s me! Mr. Johnson: (Stands up and opens the door, takes a look at his wife, and then his countenance changes)Mrs. Johnson: What is it dear? Mr. Johnson: What is this on your head? Mrs. Johnson: (She didn’t answer, but walked past) Mr. Johnson: What kind of useless hairstyle is this? Mrs. Johnson: But it’s fine now? Mr. Johnson: You have no mirror, right, this thing on your head that makes your head look like that of a chicken?
Well, Mr. Johnson thinks he is being blunt, but he is actually foolish and unwise. Now, this kind of conversation or communication will devastate any woman. It would even be worse if her love language is “words of affirmation.”
It is okay for Mr. Johnson not to like a particular hairstyle. But it is wisdom for him to have first looked at the many hours spent fixing that hair and appreciated that first. After a week or so, he can just give her some money and ask her to change her hairstyle. That is wiser, simpler, and would save the marriage.
What is the point of being in strife because of hairstyle? This is just one of many examples.
In the school of relationships and marriage, communication is the core curriculum. Communication is so important.
How To Understand That Special Gender. Now, there is no effective communication without a language. Even in non-verbal communication, there is “language”
Language is so important that it was the only thing that God needed to tamper with when the human race got ambitious and wanted to build a tower that would reach into the heavens.
God, Himself looked down and said these people are going to succeed because they have “one language”
“And the Lord said, Behold, they are one people and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do, and now nothing they have imagined they can do will be impossible for them.” (Gen 11:6, AMP)
The only thing God could do to stop their ambition was to garble their language. And that was what He did. The moment they could not understand themselves, the project was impeded and subsequently suspended.
What does that tell you?
When you don’t speak the proper language, a relationship or marriage will have serious issues.
Good and constant communication is the oxygen that relationships and marriage need.
The tower of Babel came to a halt. God simply “scattered” their language.
However, at Pentecost, there was the restoration of languages.
“Then how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own (particular) dialect to which we were born?” (Act 2:8, AMP)
At Pentecost, they heard themselves in the languages they understood most!
From these, we can see how important languages can be even in the things of the Spirit, how much more in a love relationship?
If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, what it means is that she doesn’t really sense any love until you affirm her with words.
The moment you keep ignoring this language, she will never be happy. Love languages are like passwords, so learn to speak her love language.
The greatest mistake is to keep speaking the direct opposite of her love language, which is critical words!
When you keep on doing this carelessly, you will never have the best of her. You may not notice much in courtship, but in marriage, she will never be happy. And that will affect a lot of things.
How To Understand That Special Gender. God wants you to make each other happy. Whenever any of you is unhappy, it can affect or hinder your prayers.
In a relationship or marriage, ladies get hurt through “insignificant issues” These issues are insignificant to men, but they are pertinent issues to them.
A successful relationship or marriage is about understanding the other person and trying to please him or her without displeasing God. That is what makes it work.
If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, you have to go out of your way to speak her language.
I am sorry. God bless you. Thank you. You are beautiful You are the best. You are the greatest thing that has happened to me. You are God’s greatest gift to me. Anytime I think about you, I cannot but thank God for His favour on my life. Since I met you, my life has never been the same. You are a fresh breath into my life.
I love this food. You are so great at anything you do!
I once heard Dr. Albert Oduwole said that it takes nine affirming words from you before criticism can be well received! Learn from that.
Words mean a lot to women. Words are powerful.
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” (Pro 16:24, KJV)
But there are also words that can bring bitterness to a lady. Avoid speaking those words to your loved one! Be wise.
You are just stupid! You are a dunce! I regret the day I met you! You are a strange woman, you’ve brought bad luck into my life. You are so ugly, I am just managing you! And so on.
Those kinds of words will tear any relationship or marriage apart. It is a matter of time.
Find out what her love language is and keep speaking that language. It will eliminate a lot of unnecessary friction.
Read this slowly as I conclude this morning:
“The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here’s what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful;” (1Pe 3:7-10, MSG)
Did you get blessed, go ahead and share! How To Understand That Special Gender
The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse. Sally and George talked into the night. The love between them was palpable. As they gazed away at the sky dotted with stars that seem to cooperate with their emotions, Sally turned and looked at George. George was expecting a kiss. At last, she was going to yield.
Thoughts raced through his mind. The earth seems to stand still. George has been transported away in the rapturous romantic setting as he imagined what it would be like locking lips with Sally…and he was enjoying it until his fantasy was rudely interrupted by a question from Sally,
He woke up from his fantasy adventure, rather disappointed.
“George, what do you think would be your greatest investment into my life?”
“Hmmm…”
George had no idea what response Sally wanted exactly and he didn’t want to say something that will douse the romantic fire of the night.
“It would be your quest for knowledge. It would be an ongoing investment in your mind! Sally said.
Chai! This girl doesn’t know the times and seasons at all! George thought!
He sheepishly nodded his head in agreement with what Sally said. “Yes, the mind!” He said.
The Johnsons, who got married a few years back have not been enjoying their marriage as they expected. They couldn’t place their hands on what could be wrong.
Rather than search for answers, they kept on blaming themselves. The quarrels became incessant.
The reality is that every couple comes into the marriage with their baggage. These items of baggage are filled with experiences, opinions, outlooks, and so on.
However, the place of marriage is a place of learning and unlearning!
You have to be open to knowing more and also realize that you don’t know a lot!
What is The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse?
It is your quest to know more that ensures you will keep working on your marriage, making adjustments, and investing heavily in knowing more! This is The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse
Who is that woman you are married to?
Who is that man you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Who is that guy you are walking the aisle with?
Who is that lady that will bear your children and be their mother?
How can you keep pleasing each other?
Like the scriptures says:
Pro 1:20-23 (AMPC) Wisdom cries aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the markets; [21] She cries at the head of the noisy intersections [in the chief gathering places]; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks: [22] How long, O simple ones [open to evil], will you love being simple? And the scoffers delight in scoffing and [self-confident] fools hate knowledge? [23] If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you.
Wisdom is everywhere. They are in the books. They are encapsulated in people around you!
This is what Kisses and Huggs Club devotionals attempt to do. To daily bring the wisdom of God to you for your relationships and marriage! Bringing to you The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse on a daily basis
Make up your mind to invest in your relationship and marriage today! It is The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse
Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties. Sally and George have been engaged for only three months. But in the short time they were together, they could not remember as many times as they had been intimate. When they quarreled after three months, they parted ways and went differently.
Somehow they kept thinking of each other. They had moved on differently and each of them even have new relationships but they kept on thinking of each other.
What happened to them? Why couldn’t they move on? Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
The Johnsons, on the other hand, married a few months back and have their issues as well. Mr. Johnson couldn’t enjoy intimacy with his wife without importing the thoughts and images of his exes. He would have to disconnect from his wife and reconnect in his mind to a certain ex before he can reach the crescendo.
What was his issue? Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
Sexual intimacy is created by God for your enjoyment and to bring you closer to marriage. It is the highest level of knowing your spouse. God is so particular about it that He said you must not deny or defraud each other. In other words, satisfy each other.
As a matter of fact, when you starve each other of this great blessing that God has afforded you, you actually make yourselves vulnerable. And the devil is quick to set up such traps in offices and anywhere. So, married couples, learn to satisfy each other, that is exactly what God wants.
The issue that Mr.Johnson has is called soul ties with previous lovers.
For Sally and George, the reality is that they have what is called a “soul tie!”
This is what pre-marital intimacy does! How does this happen? Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
In marriage, it brings a bonding between the couple, because that is one of the purposes of intimacy. It cements the couple and joins them together at the highest possible level. Their souls become knitted together. They become one. They are glued together, and God says nobody should put them asunder.
But in intimacy outside marriage, there is also a bonding. It is just that it is another kind of bonding. It is an illegal bonding that gives access to the operation of demonic entities in one’s life. It is called soul ties.
This is what the scripture is talking about here:
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.” (1Co 6:15-16, KJV)
Can you see that?
In pre-marital intimacy, the two people also become one body! They are not married, but there is an illegal bonding that gives access to legal operations of demonic activities because of disobedience.
Message Translation puts it this way:
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”” (1Co 6:16, MSG)
So we see that this is spiritual. As a matter of fact, when you get involved with someone, you are actually having intimacy with everybody that person has had intimacy with! It is not uncommon to see a person suddenly stealing after being intimate with someone that steals!
There is nothing like casual sex. Nothing is casual about it, it is spiritual. There is nothing like a one-night stand. One night stand can lead to an eternity of woes and damnation.
There is nothing like a quickie outside marriage. One quickie and one’s destiny can be quickly set back by five years or more!
This is just the reality! Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
How do you break soul ties from past sexual mistakes?
1. Ask God to forgive you for the mistake 2. Repent and make up your mind not to do it again. 3. Fast and pray and ask God to severe every bonding and soul ties 4. Disconnect from such a person. Stop all the calls and chats 5. Psalm 23 says, “He restoreth my soul!” Ask God to restore your soul 6. Stop living in sin. Jesus told that woman, “Go and sin no more!” 7. Patiently wait for the salvation of God in your relationship. Don’t be hasty. Cooperate with God’s plan. 8. Believe that God has a plan for you and that the plan will become a reality. 9. Keep reading and studying God’s word. Your mind will be renewed over time. For example, if you can follow this devotional consistently, your mind will be renewed in this area and you will get to know a lot of things and be prepared for marriage and as married. A lot of people have testified to that.
I pray for you this morning that God will grant you more understanding.
Right now, I break every form of soul ties that may exist in Jesus’ name. I destroy every plan of hell over your destiny, I declare you free from consequences of past mistakes and I ask in the name of Jesus and by the power of the Holy Spirit that your soul be restored now to God’s desire for you as an individual and in your relationship/marriage….in Jesus name! Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
This Is For Every Lady And Wife. Yesterday, I started writing about how to know if he will not marry you. I will conclude today and I will be writing to singles and married.
4. Authority figures are involved
This Is For Every Lady And Wife
For wives, the greatest thing you can encourage your husband to do is to make sure he submits to at least one authority figure! Such a person will be a mutual mentor to both of you whom you can listen to. There will be days you will need somebody like that to speak into your lives.
Singles, you can be very sure he will not marry you eventually if he avoids any authority figures in your plans.
“Don’t let’s talk to our parents now.”
“I don’t want pastors to know for now.”
“Let’s keep this between the two of us only.”
A relationship like this that is isolated and exists only between the two of you is the easiest to end. This Is For Every Lady And Wife
5. Perpetual life of unfaithfulness
Dear wives, do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? Your response is important at this time.
Fighting, resorting to anger, retaliating by going out too, and such attitudes would not help. The best you can do is to have your spouse’s back which will begin with him being sincere! Sincerity shows a window for repentance. Denial is a bad sign. Talk. Communicate. Seek help.
“But pastor I don’t want to expose him?”
Well, he will soon expose you if you are not careful and everybody will blame you why you kept quiet and allowing fire to keep burning on the roof of your house!
For singles, you have discovered more than once that he is cheating on you. He keeps begging you that he won’t do it again. But you keep discovering from time to time.
The question is what are you doing with such a person? It is just a matter of time. If somebody is committed to you, he will focus on you.
Let’s even assume he gets married to you. He has been trained to be unfaithful, so you will need to live with that.
And then when you catch him again after marriage, he drops the bomb,
“But you know me before you got married to me! These girls are always disturbing me, what do you want me to do?”
He just told you that you will have to live with it.
May God bless our relationships and marriages. This Is For Every Lady And Wife
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You. Sally was downcast. Her whole world seemed to have fallen apart. In the past few hours, she has wept, lamented, and even considered suicide.
She could not believe what happened earlier in the day. Her husband-to-be, whom she loved unreservedly with all her heart, told her that he is no longer interested in marriage.
No reasons, no explanation, and that was it.
For once, she regretted that she allowed him to have sex with her severally. She felt so used and dumped that she couldn’t even pray. She felt small to even approach God in the place of prayers.
She thought about the mockery that would attend to her from friends and foes. She really loved Ade, and there was nothing that suggested that he would make such a shocking decision.
As she sat before the mirror in her room, she suddenly hated the whole idea of marriage. She looked at herself and concluded, “Maybe I am not beautiful enough.”
She even hated God as well. Why would God allow such a thing to happen to her, of all people?
What Sally doesn’t know is that the tell-tale signs have always been there that something like that would happen, but she didn’t take heed.
The second thing she doesn’t know is that pre-marital sex brings confusion into a relationship and you lose your sense of judgment and discernment because of illegal bonding and soul ties.
What are some of the tell-tale signs that a man would dump you later? What are the subtle signs?
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You. I will be talking to singles and married.
1. He will keep on telling you what you want to hear in order to keep you as long as he wants
He has your password. He knows what to say to keep you begging when there are quarrels even when he is obviously in the wrong. He knows how to manipulate your emotions to his advantage. He will always tell you what you need to hear. In fact, he enjoys quarreling with you because he knows you will always come begging, and begging will always culminate in sex
Ladies that fall to this gimmick often have low self-esteem. The guy is logical and he can see that, so he starts feeding that self-esteem in order to keep getting sex
For married couples, you must keep keep telling each the truth, but in love! Be naked before each other and don’t entertain sinister thoughts about each other because of hurts
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You
2. He will evade discussions on wedding plans
He will try as much as possible to evade discussions on wedding plans. If you trouble him enough, he will give you a date that he would not be committed to.
One other way he does that is to get angry whenever you raise the issue of a wedding and settling down.
Since you love him and you don’t want him to get angry again, you too will avoid it as much as possible discussing such again.
It is a sign that anything can happen.
For married, do not evade meaningful discussions. This is the oil of your marital engine. Keep on talking and don’t increase your vulnerabilities with silence and withdrawal
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You
3. He will never make commitments
When you ask him directly about plans, he will tactically avoid your question with no direct answers. You will spend two hours talking and yet there is no headway. He knows what he is doing. His mind is not made up.
When a guy’s mind is not made up, he would not talk, or at most he would tell you lies.
And because you are in love, you so easily believe the lies. But if you think deeply, you will know that something is wrong somewhere.
Married couples, be committed to each other! Focus on one another as no other person exists. Please each other after pleasing God! May God bless your marriage!
