Causes of Marital Delay. When I mean delay, I mean those that have been waiting for a while.
For some, nobody is showing up at all. For some, a few people are showing up and for some, too many people are showing up, just that they don’t seem to be the right people. For some others, it is always “un-marriageable” people. Here are a few scenarios that you need to check to know that all is well from your end.
Causes of Marital Delay
1. You are looking for the perfect person
If you are looking for the perfect person, there will always be some form of delay. You want that person that is totally packaged from heaven, spiritual, sound, can dissect the scriptures, can quote the scriptures and can engage you in spiritual discourse.
The reality is that you will never be able to know that perfect spiritual person because everybody is a project in the making. Knowing a spiritual person is not by the tongues such a person is speaking or by the activities in the church, all that can be successfully staged.
Again, there are many people who sound and appear spiritual as singles but become the most carnally minded after marriage because of the pressures that come with marriage.
Your judgment of who is spiritual and who is not may cause delays, because people usually come as raw materials and not finished products.
This is not to say that you should settle for an unbeliever, but if you are going to eliminate this tendency, you will need to appreciate the people that God sends into your life and not discard them like a piece of paper because they fell short in a certain area.
I still remember the brother who broke up with a sister because all her tongue was “sandal, sandal, sandal… the brother wondered when she will get to buy shoes!
Causes of Marital Delay
2. You are looking for the handsome or beautiful person
Attraction is necessary for deciding who to marry and I always say you should make sure you are attracted to the person you will eventually marry.
But when you are looking for that perfect person in terms of appearance that you have in your mind, you can actually delay yourself.
You see, there is a downside to everybody. Nobody will perfectly fit into the exact picture and definition of “completely handsome” or completely beautiful” in your mind. You will need to eventually drop some of your “stiff and strict” qualities if you really want to get married. After all, it is not as if you are perfect in your own appearance as well.
I will give you an example. You have always wanted a tall and fair lady. Now God sends Sister Sube into your life and she is tall and fair. She matches exactly the picture you have in mind, but the only thing is that she doesn’t fit into one of your desired qualities, which is the fact that she doesn’t have a straight nose. Her nose is flat, but you wanted somebody whose nose is straight like the lady you saw in that film as a teenager! For that reason, you concluded it is not God’s will. You may be wrong!
Another example, Brother Zerubabbel is the exact picture of the husband you’ve been praying for. He is spiritual, he has a hunger for knowledge, he can pray, he is a graduate, he has a good job, he has the exact height you want, he is dark and you have become close friends. The only thing is that his pronunciation is not polished. For example, He pronounces “three” as “tiri” and that irritates you. He pronounces “computer” as “kon-poo-taa” and that irritates you more. For that reason, you said it couldn’t be God!
Well, you may be wrong! Insignificant issues that can be conquered with some learning, polishing, fine-tuning, and adjustments should not be turned into gargantuan reasons for not getting married to a particular person
I will conclude on the Causes of Marital Delay tomorrow. Good morning!
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