Reading Time: 4 minutes

How To Understand That Special Gender. Mrs. Johnson has just arrived from the salon where she had gone to make her hair. Mr. Johnson is in the living room, relaxing and watching the Television.

Mrs. Johnson: (knocks on the door)
Mr. Johnson: Who is that?
Mrs. Johnson: My dear, it’s me!
Mr. Johnson: (Stands up and opens the door, takes a look at his wife, and then his countenance changes)Mrs. Johnson: What is it dear?
Mr. Johnson: What is this on your head?
Mrs. Johnson: (She didn’t answer, but walked past)
Mr. Johnson: What kind of useless hairstyle is this?
Mrs. Johnson: But it’s fine now?
Mr. Johnson: You have no mirror, right, this thing on your head that makes your head look like that of a chicken?

Well, Mr. Johnson thinks he is being blunt, but he is actually foolish and unwise. Now, this kind of conversation or communication will devastate any woman. It would even be worse if her love language is “words of affirmation.”

It is okay for Mr. Johnson not to like a particular hairstyle. But it is wisdom for him to have first looked at the many hours spent fixing that hair and appreciated that first. After a week or so, he can just give her some money and ask her to change her hairstyle. That is wiser, simpler, and would save the marriage.

What is the point of being in strife because of hairstyle? This is just one of many examples.

In the school of relationships and marriage, communication is the core curriculum. Communication is so important.

How To Understand That Special Gender. Now, there is no effective communication without a language. Even in non-verbal communication, there is “language”

Language is so important that it was the only thing that God needed to tamper with when the human race got ambitious and wanted to build a tower that would reach into the heavens.

God, Himself looked down and said these people are going to succeed because they have “one language”

“And the Lord said, Behold, they are one people and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do, and now nothing they have imagined they can do will be impossible for them.”  (Gen 11:6, AMP)

The only thing God could do to stop their ambition was to garble their language. And that was what He did. The moment they could not understand themselves, the project was impeded and subsequently suspended.

What does that tell you?

When you don’t speak the proper language, a relationship or marriage will have serious issues.

Good and constant communication is the oxygen that relationships and marriage need.

The tower of Babel came to a halt. God simply “scattered” their language.

However, at Pentecost, there was the restoration of languages.

“Then how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own (particular) dialect to which we were born?”  (Act 2:8, AMP)

At Pentecost, they heard themselves in the languages they understood most!

From these, we can see how important languages can be even in the things of the Spirit, how much more in a love relationship?

If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, what it means is that she doesn’t really sense any love until you affirm her with words.

The moment you keep ignoring this language, she will never be happy. Love languages are like passwords, so learn to speak her love language.

The greatest mistake is to keep speaking the direct opposite of her love language, which is critical words!

When you keep on doing this carelessly, you will never have the best of her. You may not notice much in courtship, but in marriage, she will never be happy. And that will affect a lot of things.

How To Understand That Special Gender. God wants you to make each other happy. Whenever any of you is unhappy, it can affect or hinder your prayers.

In a relationship or marriage, ladies get hurt through “insignificant issues” These issues are insignificant to men, but they are pertinent issues to them.

A successful relationship or marriage is about understanding the other person and trying to please him or her without displeasing God. That is what makes it work.

If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, you have to go out of your way to speak her language.

I am sorry.
God bless you.
Thank you.
You are beautiful
You are the best.
You are the greatest thing that has happened to me.
You are God’s greatest gift to me.
Anytime I think about you, I cannot but thank God for His favour on my life.
Since I met you, my life has never been the same. You are a fresh breath into my life.

I love this food. You are so great at anything you do! 

I once heard Dr. Albert Oduwole said that it takes nine affirming words from you before criticism can be well received! Learn from that.

Words mean a lot to women. Words are powerful.

“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”  (Pro 16:24, KJV)

But there are also words that can bring bitterness to a lady. Avoid speaking those words to your loved one! Be wise.

You are just stupid!
You are a dunce!
I regret the day I met you!

You are a strange woman, you’ve brought bad luck into my life.
You are so ugly, I am just managing you
And so on.

Those kinds of words will tear any relationship or marriage apart. It is a matter of time. 

Find out what her love language is and keep speaking that language. It will eliminate a lot of unnecessary friction.

Read this slowly as I conclude this morning:

“The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here’s what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful;”  (1Pe 3:7-10, MSG)

Did you get blessed, go ahead and share! How To Understand That Special Gender


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