Ade and Sandra are so much in love. They were both God-loving but something changed the moment they began a relationship. Their relationship with God plummeted. Their prayer life suffered. Bible studies gave way to endless chatting and love poem compositions.
It also happened with the Johnson couple. Once married, their relationship with God suffered.
Where is the balance? What are the issues?
Loving Without Unloving God
Your toasting skill alone will not sustain a relationship. There are things you are going to confront and fight that do not recognize mere romantic rhetoric.
Your ability to trip her and take her to Dubai every weekend and take each other all around the world, do not arrest the enemy of your soul.
Hear this word:
“Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.” (Psa 127:1, KJV)
The word “house” also means family. Except the Lord builds a family, all the labours of outings, toasting, shopping, all the emotional energy expended, all the times, and more are all in vain, wasted, and gone into oblivion.
In other words, your love equation without God becomes an unsolvable equation.
The next question then “How do you make sure God is the builder of your relationship, marriage or family?
They are so simple. Here are some tips.
Loving Without Unloving God
1. Make sure you put God first place in everything you are going to do. Never ever relegate Him because of some love affair. For example, you use to wake up by 5.00am to pray and worship God, but since you fell in love, prayer time has suffered because of calls and chatting with your lover. If you take notice, you will always be quarreling because something vital is not in place! The same in marriage. You were all on fire for God, but once married, no flicker of light! Ensure you light up your fire, even in marriage!
2. Never allow a relationship, courtship, or marriage to draw you away from God When you do that, it will not work out fine. That is what the scripture says.
3. Do not get involved with someone who doesn’t love God. Do not get involved with someone whose spiritual life you cannot vouch for. Anybody that will snuff out the fire of God in you is not appropriate for you. Don’t even think you can change anybody: when you have not been able to change yourself!
And if you are already married, seek help and counsel.
4. Aside from the salvation experience, ask some other questions. Who are his or her pastors/mentors? Who are his or her friends?
5. What are people around you saying about the relationship? Friends, pastors, respected authority figures, and so on?
Already married? Have a mutual mentor that you speak to from time to time. A successful marriage is never done in isolation.
Where does life come from? Where does death come from? What is the part of our lives we must guard most? What is that one area we should pay utmost attention to? What is the area we should invest in most in order to have a successful relationship that will lead to a wedding and eventually a great marriage?
Well the twenty-third verse of chapter four of the Proverbs tells us
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
This is where life issues from! Incidentally, death will come from here as well. It depends on whether you guard your heart or it’s a free for all thing.
The Amplified version even illustrates further;
Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.
How To Guard Your Love
You are to guard it above all you guard!
In other words, the security apparel you deploy to your heart should be more than those at the gate of your house!
Pay attention to your heart!
Who do you talk to? Those you talk to can access the inner chambers of your heart uninvited.
Who have you fallen in love with? That fellow has the master key to your heart and can quickly disarm your heart’s security protocols!
Who do you discuss your marital issues with? That person can influence you, your attitude and can even remotely enter your bedroom and dictate what should go on there!
You are aptly advised, to guard your heart with all diligence, above all you guard!
That is where life issues come from!
When home wreckers and invaders gain access, death can proceed from there!
You really want to be careful who has access to your heart from time to time.
I pray God grants you more understanding in Jesus’ name!
Good morning! And Yes Happy New Month!
It will be a month of good reports for you! New things begin in your life this month! This month, you are shielded, protected, and enveloped in His love in Jesus’ name!
There is nothing as frustrating as losing one’s way or ending in a place that leads nowhere. Yet, life is often punctuated with dark tunnels, seemingly long unending roads meandering nowhere and often ending in the most absurd places.
And this happens a lot in our love life! Happily ever after is not always lived happily! We often fall so much in love that we lose the sense of all reason and become oblivious to apparent lapses.
We even often turn a deaf ear to all warning voices, choosing to ignore and disregard them, only for those voices to reverberate loudly on the marital road.
Well, the reality is that God doesn’t want you lost, confused, disconcerted, and perpetually living at a loss of what to do, where to go, and who to settle down with.
Avoiding Blind Alleys and Wrong Turns
In the twelfth verse of the fourth chapter of the book of Proverbs, as seen in The Message Translation, we see it aptly documented!
I don’t want you ending up in blind alleys, or wasting time making wrong turns.
The question here this morning is “Will you allow Him”
“Will you cooperate with divinity so that your humanity can align with God who doesn’t want you meandering in blind alleys or stuck in wrong turns?
Blind alleys will cause marital injuries, because not only are you blind and can’t see your loved one, you can’t even see yourself!
Wrong turns will waste your precious time, falling in love with the one that is not in love with you.
Wrong turns will sap your energy, cause weariness of the soul and make life uninteresting!
Avoiding Blind Alleys and Wrong Turns
No wonder, the lover of your soul says He doesn’t want you ending up in such places!
That is never His plan for you!
I challenge you this morning to cooperate with Him and let Him lead you!
Remember you are the sheep of His pasture and He is the shepherd of your soul!
This is one dangerous symptom you should not ignore as singles in courtship and that you should seek help over as married couples.
Believe them when they show you who they are during courtship. They’re only giving you a taste of what will be a daily and regular dose after the wedding.
Being in love should not be accompanied by blindness and senselessness.
I am a firm believer that wisdom is an ally of true love.
If you ignore a bad attitude in your affianced, guess what happens? You’re keeping that lifestyle for yourself after the wedding.
“But you know I have always been like this!” will always be the retort.
In other words, such a person is resistant to change!
If he or she cheats on you and you hesitate to confront him or her because you really wanted to get married, you have empowered him or her to cheat on you after your wedding or perhaps for the rest of your life.
When Your Lover Constantly Tells Lies
You are well aware that your partner lies on a frequent basis. You’ve fallen for an unrepentant habitual and chronic liar. It’s a perilous place to be. Why? All sexual offenses are founded on the ability to tell lies!
A liar will continue to deceive you indefinitely. His or her ability to tell lies emboldens him or her.
Even when nothing is at stake, this lover enjoys fabricating lies and making up stories.
You should reconsider this type of connection.
You will need to look for counsel.
It doesn’t matter whether you had a hundred visions about this individual or heard an audible voice; if his or her character contradicts the scriptures, you must pause!
If the scenario continues the same after guidance and intervention, you should consider ending the relationship to save yourself a lifetime of anguish and affliction.
When someone gives a convoluted answer to a simple question, you know he’s lying.
When someone avoids A Yes and No and prefers to explain when it is unnecessary, you know he is lying.
When someone delivers an oblique answer to a direct inquiry, you know he’s lying.
When he erupts every time he is confronted with a simple issue, you know he’s lying.
I could go on, but you already know.
When Your Lover Constantly Tells Lies
What if you are already married? Seek help! Pray! Give your partner a conducive atmosphere to express themselves because they could be lying out of fear! The place of honesty in marriage, of being naked and not ashamed cannot be over emphasized.
A lair cannot remain hidden indefinitely.
Telling lies on a regular basis is like dancing on the devil’s turf.
Joh 8:44b When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
But don’t forget this, if you are in such a scenario, seek help fast. Go talk to your pastor!
Are you in love with someone who doesn’t listen to anyone?
Do you have a spouse who has no authority figure over them?
Let’s start with singles.
Nothing is more marriage suicide than that.
Pastor, why would you say that?
The reasons should be self-evident.
Life is lived with the wisdom that God has bestowed upon us, not in aloofness or aloneness.
You will always come to periods in your life when you will require the wisdom of those above you, authoritative figures, and those who have gone before you.
Proverbs, chapter twenty, verse eighteen, says, Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.
Progress in life is based on this principle of getting wisdom from those ahead of you.
The Message Translation of same verse says Form your purpose by asking for counsel, then carry it out using all the help you can get.
Dealing With A Defiant Lover
It is thus bad to fall in love and share a boat with someone who disregards knowledge and listens to no one.
When this happens in a marriage, the other spouse has only one option: pray.
However, as a single person who is not yet married, you have the option of rejecting an evil disguised as love.
Never offer your heart to a man whose heart is inaccessible to everyone.
Never give your heart to a man or woman about whom you cannot speak to anyone.
There is no Pastor.
There is no mentor.
There are no parents. They are alive, but they appear to be dead since their child does not listen to them.
There is no authoritative figure.
He or she is in his or her own universe.
Only consults with friends who are worse than him.
Don’t just walk away from such folks; instead, run for your life.
Dealing With A Defiant Lover
This love thing has a tendency to make people foolish. And it shouldn’t. Take care.
You lose all sense of logic, and this tsunami of feelings completely overwhelms you.
In the midst of all of this, determine whether your lover respects authority figures.
If he doesn’t, you haven’t met anyone yet.
If you are ready married, and this is the situation, you really want to talk to your spouse, seek help urgently and find at least someone they will listen to. With a lot of prayers, hopefully, things will change
A young guy and lady once sat before me in my office. The lady was concerned because, in three years of relationship with a view to marriage, the guy has never given her anything, not a gift, not a dime!
Upon inquiry, the lady has given several gifts, including but not limited to shirts, boxers, trousers, wristwatches, chocolates, and many others.
The guy has given nothing.
“Why haven’t you given anything over the years? I asked him.
“Nothing, nothing really,” was the wry answer he gave.
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I told him right away, “Something is wrong somewhere.” You kept receiving all kinds of items, like she was an NGO or what, without giving anything in reciprocity?
We all know the truism, Love gives! We also know that a love professed that is not backed up with giving, sometimes sacrificial giving, is no love at all.
However, the “give” in love has been twisted and what we have today is nothing short of abuse.
Give and Take, The New Love?
There is workplace harassment where you are denied promotion and other benefits unless you “give” sex! Career opportunities only become a reality when a sexual act is performed.
Young ladies and sometimes guys are faced with this! You know what, as a child of God, never cooperate with such affliction! You will lose both your joy and the job eventually once you create a loophole for the devil through disobedience to God.
There is the Sugar Daddy phenomenon which is a form of transactional relationship where an older, wealthier individual (sugar daddy or sugar mommy) provides financial support or gifts to a younger partner in exchange for companionship. The younger is giving sex and the older is giving money!
This is not a giving love but a violation of love itself and as a child of God, you are to run for your seat life in such circumstances!
And then we even have married couples coercion where the wife would not give sex because the husband has not provided a certain amount of money! This is nothing but an abuse of the marital covenant, it is a subtle manipulation that will lead nowhere!
I can go on and on.
The marriage covenant doesn’t allow such “giving” or “exchange” of love! It is unconditional love!
May God grant more understanding in Jesus’ name!
Meditation: Galatians 5:19 (MSG) It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness;
Tales of woes and regrets litter the entire milieu of social media concerning failed marriages and damaged love affairs.
The media space, particularly the Nollywood, Hollywood, Bollywood, and all other woods constantly weave their plots to suggest nothing good can come out of marriage.
The marriage institution as ordained by God has been inundated with absurd insinuations. It has been twisted and warped, mulled and mutilated, and strange practices are being brandished daily and with temerity before all and sundry.
Why does it look as though it is failing? Why are there so many cheats? Why is it hard to believe that there are still people who will not cheat on their spouses? Why would ladies subject themselves to an affliction and go into marriage believing and expecting to be cheated upon and seeing it as usual?
Why would some older women teach younger ones that their husbands would cheat and that they should cope with it? Are their experiences valid enough to become a standard to hand over to younger ones?
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Marriage Mavericks: Thriving Above All
What is the panacea?
How did those ahead of us get good reports concerning their marriages? What were their secrets?
The writer of Hebrews took us to verse two of chapter Eleven and gave us the blueprint. He literarily handed over to us what would make marriage and indeed life work out.
For by it (Faith) the elders obtained a good report.
The excellent report, the good testimony, the successful relationship that led to the wedding, and the great marriage that became enviable became a reality through faith!
The Message Translation is instructive. It says;
The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.
Marriage Mavericks: Thriving Above All
Do you want to be above the mad, disoriented, and confused crowd? Then get into the act of faith.
This can only be done by a deliberate and conscious effort of fellowship with God and His word, deciding to obey all that is written there. It is simple, right? It is however potent and powerful.
Become a word stickler and you will find yourself in faith!
When all your “toasting” prowess fails and all your love dexterity disappoints, His word will uphold, give you victory and raise a great family for you!
As a child of God, a church worker, a minister, or even a Pastor, who constantly ministers unto God in any capacity, we are to serve God and minister unto Him in reverence and Holy awe.
It shows the state of our heart and it shows the kind of “fire” you are offering unto the Lord.
In the scriptures, there are two ministers who went to offer or minister unto the Lord, and yet they died.
Lev 16:1 (KJV) And the LORD spake unto Moses after the death of the two sons of Aaron, when they offered before the LORD, and died;
What did they offer?
What killed them?
Let’s find out here.
Warning: No Strange Fires
Leviticus 10:1-2 (KJV) And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took either of them his censer, and put fire therein, and put incense thereon, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which he commanded them not. And there went out fire from the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD.
So the two sons of Aaron died because they offered strange fire unto the Lord.
What is strange fire?
The Amplified Bible calls it strange and UNHOLY fire.
So, we kind of know that this fire is unholy.
I think it is very simple. They ministered by burning incense and making a fire.
An unholy person will simply offer an unholy fire.
An unholy minister cannot minister unto God in a Holy way.
To further clarify, I looked up the word “Strange” in the context of the verse above from the Strong’s Dictionary and this is what I saw:
A primitive root; to turn aside (especially for lodging); hence to be a foreigner, strange, profane; specifically to commit adultery: – (come from) another (man, place), strange (thing, woman).
Take note of the word “lodging,” “commit adultery.” and “strange woman”
Who are you “lodging” with as a single and yet ministering in the choir, ushering, etc?
Warning: No Strange Fires
I want to challenge you as a child of God, to make up your mind never to offer strange fire unto the Lord.
Sleeping around and yet holding the microphone to minister, sing or preach is offering strange fire unto the Lord.
While you might not have died physically because we are in a dispensation of grace, the reality is that some things may be dying around you.
Opportunities are dying.
Relationship with God is at risk.
Promotions, increase and destinies are dying.
God-ordained courtships are dying.
Eventually, physical death could follow as in the case of Ananias and Sapphira. Acts 5
Decide to do away with any strange fire as a child of God. Stop tempting the devil!
This is what KHC does! To warn!! And then to show you that God still loves you!
God doesn’t want you living a double life, pretending while practically on the way to hell.
He wants you to live well, live long, serve Him, and still make heaven!
Do it God’s way.
Do what God has commanded, not what your flesh is commanding.
Reach out and ask God to help you.
Make up your mind.
Disconnect with all unholy and ungodly alliances.
Stop all sexual sins.
Accept and know you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus and decide to walk in the Spirit so that you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
Let him be tall and handsome. Deep voice. Six-packs. Muscular. Gentle giant.
I want her to be beautiful. Hot legs. Head turner. Bust and behind. The hips and the lips. Slayer.
You write down a list. Great.
As a teenager, do you remember, when you think love, that’s all you wanted?
Fast forward many years after, priorities have changed.
Handsome and Beautiful, That Is All?
Married folk will tell you that some things will not be for life.
Some are great and work at it and they look great for a long time.
But genetics and nature are not really nice to everybody.
So, married people will tell you that the “tall” may be there for life, but the “tall” is no longer straight.
Somewhere along the journey, pot belly showed up. Stubborn and recalcitrant, it refused to go.
Shebi you saw the dad before? Why surprised?
Son will resemble father now?
The deep voice remained, unchanging, but then it came with deep snores. It’s a total package. Melody unto the Lord.
The six packs. Eventually and eventfully collapses into an amusement park. A bald head showed up. Cream would not work.
The gentle giant. The giant remained. Gentle left. Only God knows where.
Oh, the lady?
Ever beautiful. The legs is still somehow hot, but they got bigger. She loves “swallow,” hot swallow, and so the hot swallow swallowed the hot in the legs and left the big legs.
She doesn’t like wearing short skirts again.
Head no longer turn.
Handsome and Beautiful, That Is All?
Bust outline is no longer clear, tummy got bigger, thanks to five bubbling children!
The hips got bigger, and the lips which you think are solely for kissing, now have the capacity to shade somebody! She is no longer a slayer, nobody is ready to die.
I have said all of these to tell you that you should not be rigid with your “list” when it comes to marriage.
Some things will not be forever.
So many factors like genetics, personal discipline, eating habits and so many others determine what a person will look like.
After you hit forty, the body slows down in breaking down food. More fat settle.
God knows the best for you.
Never ever marry someone you loathe or hate, but never ever reject someone God is leading you to because of your strict idiosyncrasies.
God has a marital map for you.
Follow it.
Trash your unrealistic list and find out the heart of God.
Psa 81:13 (MSG) “Oh, dear people, will you listen to me now? Israel, will you follow my map?
You want to marry a rich person. Will the person be rich for life? Will you divorce if he gets broke?
There are rich people on their way to being broke! And yes, there are broke people on their way to being rich!
God’s GPS is superior to the one your brain invented.
Cooperate with His leading.
Short people can be nice. And they can be nasty.
Tall people can be brutal. And they can be gentle.
Loved ones frequently abandon us. Life happens, and relationships fade.
What appears to be promising frequently falls apart.
Wedding arrangements are frequently canceled or shortened.
Jilting stories, abandonment stories, cheating escapades, and infidelity adventures are all common occurrences.
As a result, many leave.
What occurs in such situations?
People may walk away but God will never walk away.
Managing Rejection and Disappointment
Let us delve at the scriptures.
Isa 54:10 (MSG) For even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces, My love won’t walk away from you, my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart.” The GOD who has compassion on you says so
Eh! That should be read several times!
My love will not abandon you.
My peace covenant will not be broken.
Whoever wishes to walk away may do so, but as long as God’s love does not walk away, everything will work out for you.
I want you to look disappointment in the eyes and exclaim, “God’s love will not leave me!”
Stop sobbing.
Allow God’s love to heal you.
Managing Rejection and Disappointment
God utilized a nearly impossible scenario to demonstrate the depth of his love.
Mountains, as we all know, do not walk.
We all know that hills don’t just break apart.
But even if the mountain goes for a walk and never returns, and the hills disperse beyond repair, God promises that His love will not go!
Be optimistic.
Take pleasure in that love.
Swim in that ocean of love.
You will discover healing, restoration, and blessings beyond your wildest dreams in that love.
Dexterity in asking a lady out is not the victory, getting married to a good woman is. Having a true help-meet in the journey of life is one the sweetest things that can ever happen to you.
Changing your status from single to “Engaged” is not yet anything to rejoice about, getting married to a good faithful, responsible man is where the victory is.
There are men who are very spiritual but are completely unromantic. They don’t know more than to be quoting Bible.
Such men will have Bible study first upon any meeting before they even greet you. It is good. You are a spirit but don’t forget you are living here on earth.
From A Love Affair Into Marriage
It is true that marriage is made in heaven, but it is also a truism that it is lived on earth.
On the other side of the divide, there are those who are very romantic, but their spiritual life is a write-off.
The most beautiful thing then is to have a romantic and spiritual partner!
The first and major step is to become that yourself. Become the kind of person you want to attract.
Relationships don’t work out because you are convinced.
It works out because you work at it.
Relationships don’t work out because you really love the person.
It works out because you first love yourself.
Forgive easily.
Pray.
Work on becoming better.
Keep improving.
Read and study.
Going into relationships and coming out over and over again is not God’s plan for you.
Sit down and find out what went wrong.
From A Love Affair Into Marriage
Learn all you can learn.
Slow down. Don’t rush into a new relationship immediately after a failed one.
If you skip this process, the relationship will soon end as well.
I am praying for you, God will pilot your relationship into marriage in Jesus’ name.
All things will work out together for your good.
God will fill your mouth with laughter.
God will collapse all the wasted years and bring beauty from the ashes.
All will be well with you, this is my prayer for you this day.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.” (Son 1:2, KJV)
Love can be like wine. It can be intoxicating. It can make you lose all sense of logic. It can make you disown friends and even family members sometimes.
Before you taste the wine of love, know what you are doing and that you are of age.
Before you allow him to kiss you with the kisses of the mouth, make sure you are married. When you get intoxicated at the wrong time, it can really be counter-productive.
The Bible says it is not good for man to be alone, but it is perfect for boys to be alone. You can be thirty-five and still be a boy if you have not learned how to delay gratification.
In marriage, the wine can often go low and so the couple must do everything possible to keep the wine up and be intoxicated with each other.
2. Love is more than a feeling
Love starts as a feeling, but for it to last it must graduate into a decision and a commitment, howbeit, you must not allow the feelings to die.
Passion is very necessary, but you must decide. Yes, there are times you wake up and there is no iota of feeling. Not even one drop. What do you do at such times? Do you divorce? No, you wake up with the feeling. You get some new wine into your marriage because you have made a decision to be with that person you love.
He that hath an ear….
3. Fall in love with God first
Finally, fall in love with God first. That is the foundation of all successful love stories.
God is love. So, in other to find true love, find God first.
Before you embrace that man or woman, have you embraced mercy first? Before you spend time with that man, have you tarried in His presence?
These are fundamental principles that make relationships work. You cannot ignore God for long before everything comes down crashing!
Get into God’s word first and learn His principles, then these principles will guide you to make proper and quality decisions.
I pray for you this morning, you will not fall in love with the wrong person. I pray for you in the name of Jesus, God will give you fresh wine in your marriage in Jesus’ name. There is a Yoruba prayer, “O ni gbe eegun eleegun o, loruko Jesu! Meaning, you will not marry the wrong person in Jesus’ name!
I curse that spirit of confusion in your life in Jesus’ name! I come against every militating spirit over your destiny, I proclaim you free in Jesus’ name, and I declare it is well with you in Jesus’ name! For everyone going through a storm in marriage, I declare, Peace! Be still! In Jesus’ name!
All of us know how we have tried threatening God before!
Lord, If I don’t meet my spouse by next month, I will marry just anybody that comes!
Yes, the threats come in many flavours and colours,.
And somehow, I believe God is never threatened.
He would probably be amused.
Those threats do nothing to God, but they can put you in the desperate mode.
That God is not threatened does not mean He is not concerned.
In fact, if you will like to know, God is more interested in your marriage than you are interested in it.
So, then why is it not happening?
For the same reasons!
He is not only concerned, He wants to ensure you get it right!
So He crosses the “T”s and Dots the “I”s.
God is never for once confused about the whole thing.
He has all of it figured out, not when you clocked twenty five, not even after you were born, but before you were ever born!
Yes, spouse, wedding, location, career and more were all figured out.
With God, you can never enter “one chance!
O Lord, I Must Marry Or…
Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG) I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Hey, take some rest, don’t panic! All of it has been planned out! Up to your bride’s maid and your ring bearer!
Even the food we will “chop” on that day!
Trust in God.
He will not fail you.
Try and look back, each time you try to put things in your hands, it wouldn’t work out!
So, rest in Him! Hold on. Be patient. You will see GOOD!
O Lord, I Must Marry Or…
For married couples, the same principle applies. God has played out how He will take care of you and your family! Just be sure to walk in His plans and follow His map! Stay with the divine blueprint by finding out His plans for your life at every stage and every phase. This is the secret of a long lasting successful relationship!
Romantic and marital relationships can be interesting!
When two people fall in love, they seem to lose the ability to reason.
You close your eyes to obvious discrepancies, you ignore visible faults and you even disregard counsel, all because you are in love.
Well, like they say, Marriage is always an eye-opener!
Your eyes will open!
But one needs not to wait till then.
I want to attempt to show you three areas where you need to make decisions in the midst of your romantic and marital adventures. These are also relevant to married couples.
Love Lifeline: 3 Crucial Choices
1. Happy, Fulfilled, and Scriptural
Both of you must agree that all decisions made should be scriptural and should leave you happy and fulfilled.
Anything that leaves you guilty, sad, and regretting is a red light!
Both of you must commit to ensuring you do all needed to have a successful relationship.
Be it prayer, fasting, learning, reading, abstaining from sex, or whatever it takes, the two of you should be on the same page.
As married couples, don’t do anything that will leave your spouse unhappy, sad and disappointed.
Love Lifeline: 3 Crucial Choices
2. Correction and Criticism.
If there is any correction or criticism, you should decide to work on it and not ignore what is being presented. Also, criticism should not be seen as an attack.
This is the only way you can both grow.
A relationship where there is not one single correction of expression of dislike is a fake one. It will not last.
Also to note as singles or married, there must be enough regular compliments and appreciation before your corrections can make sense at all.
Love Lifeline: 3 Crucial Choices
3. Long-term solution
If there is a problem to be solved, there should be a decision to go for a long-term solution and not a temporary one just to let time pass.
Every issue and problem that you apply a short-term solution to is invariably postponed, waiting to be resurrected in marriage.
For example, if there is a bad habit, chances are that you ignore it or once your spouse tells you that he will change later, you forget it, because you are in love.
Don’t make that mistake at all.
Go for counsel. Pray about it. Confront the issue. Don’t sweep it under that carpet.
From time to time, I am beleaguered with tales of abuse from the ones who once professed love to their wives.
As singles who are not yet married, you have to know what you are going for.
After the wedding, your choices are limited and restricted.
As singles, this is the time you need to borrow yourself “some brain” and stop holding to what is obviously faulty from the very foundation.
Before You Marry
If you are being abused in a relationship, male or female, hit the pause button.
Don’t think a wedding will change things. It will not.
A wedding will not transform anybody.
Any change you couldn’t make as a single would not be easier to make after the wedding.
So, be careful of a wilful abuser who keeps telling you he will change after hitting you.
Yes, there could be a mistake and flaring of temper, which is wrong anyway.
But when there is an angry partner, always fuming at little provocations, getting angry at everything, hitting you over and over, and then apologizing, you need to be careful before you sentence yourself to a lifetime of abuse.
The Bible did warn about such people.
Pro 22:24 (KJV) Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
It is a clear warning.
Don’t be friends with such people not to talk of dating them.
Why would the Bible warn you?
Pro 22:25 (KJV) Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.
Pro 22:25 (MSG) Bad temper is contagious— don’t get infected.
Before You Marry
One can quickly become hurt, bitter, nasty, and even evil because of marriage with a wicked partner.
Be careful.
Do not invite afflictions that are not supposed to be part of your life.
This isn’t a good combination. But the reality is that such men and women exist in their number.
Who is the empty-headed?
Who is the empty-hearted?
Pro 7:6-7 (AMPC) For at the window of my house, I looked out through my lattice. [7] And among the simple (empty-headed and empty-hearted) ones, I perceived among the youths a young man void of good sense,
So, this man is out there. He or she can be seen through the window.
He is all over the place.
Can even be in church. Maybe he even speaks in tongues.
He is described as empty-headed and empty-hearted.
You wouldn’t want to fall in love with such a person.
Empty-Headed And Empty-Hearted Lovers
The Message translation calls him a young man without any sense.
Pro 7:6-7 (MSG) As I stood at the window of my house looking out through the shutters, [7] Watching the mindless crowd stroll by, I spotted a young man without any sense
But then what did this young man do to warrant calling him empty-headed and empty-hearted?
That is the crux of the matter.
What’s his sin?
What’s his error?
The next verse explains.
Pro 7:8 (AMPC) Sauntering through the street near the [loose woman’s] corner, and he went the way to her house
This young man is so-called empty-headed and empty-hearted because of his direction!
He went to her house.
The house of the strange woman or the harlot. To do what? To have sex!
It was a deliberate decision of the man to go look for fun.
It wasn’t the devil tempting him, he was the one tempting the devil!
Empty-Headed And Empty-Hearted Lovers
The empty-headed and empty-hearted is the spouse who is married but is very much interested in adulterous escapes and pursues such with so much vigor.
The empty-headed and empty-hearted is the guy who plans, strategies, and goes out to bed with a lady.
The empty-headed and empty-hearted is the guy who leaves his house, despite every warning and prompting to go look for sex outside marriage.
The empty-headed and empty-hearted lady leaves her campus or where she lives and goes to spend days in a guy’s house.
The empty-headed and empty-hearted patronizes harlots and anywhere he can find sex.
If you are the one always out looking out for sex, sleeping around recklessly and carelessly, and yet claiming to serve God alongside, well, God cannot be mocked.
If you are the one providing sex, aiding and abetting the empty-headed and empty-hearted, a day of reckoning will come.
Such actions are time wasters.
Destiny distraction. Often time, destiny destroyers!
I once met a lady who was lamenting that God is unfair to her, that she is not married in her late thirties, and that despite night vigils and prayers coupled with fasting, God has ignored her. But then she was living in a guy’s house and they are having sex. I really cannot fathom that.
Make up your mind to stop this cycle, because it is destructive.
It will lead nowhere.
You can dislodge the stronghold.
You can stop the cycle of sinning and asking for forgiveness every time.
You can embrace your identity in God as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to help you live above habitual sin and compromise.
Having done all, stand.
You can stand.
You can live right.
You can please God.
Stand out.
Stand for God in your generation.
Be counted for Him.
You will fulfill your destiny.
Your story will not end like that of Samson.
You will be of the Joseph generation.
His mercy is available for you.
His mercy reaches to the very heavens.
Make up your mind today.
Call me and I will pray along with you!
Fulfill destiny!
Psa 36:5 (KJV) Thy mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds.
Psa 36:5 (MSG) God’s love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic,
