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Give and Take, The New Love?

A young guy and lady once sat before me in my office. The lady was concerned because, in three years of relationship with a view to marriage, the guy has never given her anything, not a gift, not a dime! 

Upon inquiry, the lady has given several gifts, including but not limited to shirts, boxers, trousers, wristwatches, chocolates, and many others.

The guy has given nothing.

“Why haven’t you given anything over the years? I asked him.

“Nothing, nothing really,” was the wry answer he gave.


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I told him right away, “Something is wrong somewhere.” You kept receiving all kinds of items, like she was an NGO or what, without giving anything in reciprocity?

We all know the truism, Love gives! We also know that a love professed that is not backed up with giving, sometimes sacrificial giving, is no love at all. 

However, the “give” in love has been twisted and what we have today is nothing short of abuse.

Give and Take, The New Love?

There is workplace harassment where you are denied promotion and other benefits unless you “give” sex! Career opportunities only become a reality when a sexual act is performed.

Young ladies and sometimes guys are faced with this! You know what, as a child of God, never cooperate with such affliction! You will lose both your joy and the job eventually once you create a loophole for the devil through disobedience to God.

There is the Sugar Daddy phenomenon which is a form of transactional relationship where an older, wealthier individual (sugar daddy or sugar mommy) provides financial support or gifts to a younger partner in exchange for companionship. The younger is giving sex and the older is giving money!

This is not a giving love but a violation of love itself and as a child of God, you are to run for your seat life in such circumstances!

And then we even have married couples coercion where the wife would not give sex because the husband has not provided a certain amount of money! This is nothing but an abuse of the marital covenant, it is a subtle manipulation that will lead nowhere! 

I can go on and on.

The marriage covenant doesn’t allow such “giving” or “exchange” of love! It is unconditional love!

May God grant more understanding in Jesus’ name!

Galatians 5:19 (MSG)
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness;


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