Misconceptions in Relationships and Marriages. It is no secret that there have been numerous misconceptions surrounding relationships and marriages in recent years. These misconceptions have led many astray and caused irreparable damage to relationships. In this devotional, we seek to shed light on some of these misconceptions and correct them with the truth of God’s word.
1. Judging a Person by Their Sexual Performance
One of the most common misconceptions is that a person’s sexual performance is a reliable indicator of their character. This is not only false but also degrading. It reduces a person to the level of a prostitute.
In reality, there are numerous variables that one should consider when determining a person’s character. These variables may include integrity, vision, life principles, and so on. It is essential to evaluate a person as a whole rather than zeroing in on just one aspect of their physical life. Doing so can lead to a complete misconception of who that person truly is.
In marriage, young couples should understand that sex gets better with time. Older wine tastes better. So do not quickly conclude that your spouse is boring in bed. The Bible tells us the Holy Spirit teaches us all things, and that does not exclude the bedroom.
Misconceptions in Relationships and Marriages
2. Pre-Marital Sex as a Means of Securing a Relationship
Another misconception is that engaging in pre-marital sex is a way of consummating a relationship before marriage. However, this is nothing but a compromise. The moment you compromise, you reduce the chances of your getting married because you are no longer going to have God’s support and favor.
God has a standard, and compromising it is not an option. Everyone may be doing it, but it doesn’t make it right. You should not base your resolve to live a righteous life on the people around you but on your faith in God’s word.
Married couples should go beyond bedroom intimacy to 24/7 intimacy, Try non-sexual touches and communicate to your spouse that you want their person and not just the sex.
3. Once is Enough
Another misconception is the belief that engaging in pre-marital sex just once is okay. This is not true, and it is a dangerous mindset to have. Beyond the physical aspect, there is a spiritual influence that keeps you tangled and looking for more.
Once is bad enough, and people don’t die twice. A demonic influence only needs once! This negative spiritual influence can only be truncated by the anointing of God and the renewal of your mind in God’s word. However, note that if you make a mistake, God will forgive you!
Married couples should enjoy themselves and not allow persistent quarrels to tear them apart.
Misconceptions in Relationships and Marriages
4. Your Body is Not Collateral
Your body is not collateral for a relationship or marriage. Giving in to a partner’s desire to secure a relationship is a terrible idea. It is wise to do things God’s way; otherwise, you will keep securing what will never work at the end of the day. The problem is that you keep securing until there is nothing left to secure!
Married couples, your body does not belong to you after the wedding! Take note!
1 Corinthians 7:4 (TPT) Neither the husband nor the wife have exclusive rights to their own bodies, but those rights are to be surrendered to the other.
Sade is head over heels in love with Andy. They were both excited about getting married. But she has reservations in her heart. She had no idea what to do with her doubts.
George and Sandy are having an affair. Sandy is gorgeous to him, but he has this nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right.
Betty and Buddy have gotten married. They had a son, and everyone thought their marriage was beautiful, but they are beginning to wonder if they are destined for each other.
This morning, I want to talk about doubts in marriage. What are you going to do about your doubts?
Conquering Doubts In Your Love Life
When do questions arise in a relationship or marriage? These are some examples.
1 When a connection is not of God and God is attempting to draw your focus to Himself.
2 When a relationship is of God, but the devil wishes to mislead you in order for you to miss God’s will.
3 When your marriage expectations are unrealistic and your expectations are not satisfied.
4 When you engage in sexual sins, turmoil enters the soul because God’s order has been broken. Unless you swiftly ask God for forgiveness and then truly repent, the adversary will take advantage of the circumstance and cause misunderstanding.
5 When you have a distorted view of life and marriage, you will have questions about a relationship or marriage, even if it is God’s purpose.
6 When you begin a relationship or enter into a marriage without first seeking God’s guidance.
7 When the only thing you did before entering a relationship or marriage was seek some prophet or advice without a personal inner conviction.
8 When you start a relationship or get married as an escape from what you’ve recently been through.
9 When every authority figure in your life is opposed to your relationships and marriage. Doubts will occur along the road.
10 When major obstacles emerge and you are unable to handle them appropriately, you will begin to doubt.
Conquering Doubts In Your Love Life
The next question is whether or not doubt can be entirely eradicated.
The answer is emphatically NO! You see, you are still in your flesh, and doubts will try to enter your heart, but once you have heard God, you can simply eliminate the doubt!
Do you remember Jesus Christ? When the agony of what was to come overtook him in the Garden of Gethsemane, doubts began to creep in.
The second issue is, what can I do to avoid doubts?
1 Never take a step until you are certain it is God’s will.
When doubts occur, you will be able to immediately identify the source and deal with it. You will recognize that uncertainty is attempting to pull you away from God’s will, and you will oppose it.
However, when you are doubtful if it was God or not in the first place, and when doubts occur along the way, you are confused about how to address them since inner conviction is lacking.
2. Don’t be too hasty. Don’t fall in love rashly.
3 Listen to all authoritative figures in your life, including pastors, parents, mentors, and so on.
4 Learn to read and study God’s word on a regular basis.
It provides you wisdom, which helps to balance your soul.
The Power of Words in Romantic Relationships. This morning, I’d like to write about something essential. It is a biblical principle that ensures us daily triumph in our daily work, relationships, marriage, and life in general.
On the wedding day, words are exchanged as vows, and those words become the terms of the marital partnership. Constant, loving words must be spoken in marriage or the union will die. That is how significant words can be.
To dedicate your life to Jesus, you must confess a few words, and that’s it! Words are extremely essential in the Spirit realm, and the devil is well aware of this. That is why he tries to feed you unpleasant thoughts so you can express them. When you express them, they become your reality. In Jesus’ name, that will not be your lot.
So this morning’s inquiry is, “What are you saying?”
The Power of Words in Romantic Relationships
According to the Bible, when you keep your mouth, you keep your life! Take care what you say!
Don’t say something like, “I don’t even understand my own life.” (You will never understand it when you keep saying that)
“I’m completely perplexed.” (You just granted the spirit of confusion legal access to your soul.) “I believe there is a curse working against me.” (You just empowered the devil to operate)
Never use inappropriate language. Never say anything hurtful to your fiancée or spouse!
Don’t say something like “You are extremely stupid!”
Do not tell your wife she is slow.
Don’t refer to your husband as an irresponsible man.
Don’t tear your future spouse in half with your lips, dear future Wife. There is a distinction to be made between a wife and a knife!
Don’t injure and wound your future wife-to-be with insensitive words; dear husband-to-be, words mean a lot to them.
Pro 13:2-3 KJV (2) A man shall eat good by the fruit of his mouth: but the soul of the transgressors shall eat violence. (3) He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.
The Power of Words in Romantic Relationships
There are parents who refer to their children as “coconut heads!”
How would the child be bright with that prophecy when you know the only thing inside a coconut is water? Or do you not realize that whatever you call your children as parents is a foreshadowing of their future?
Don’t tell your wife, “Fat lazy woman, you were once slim and beautiful when I found you, but now you are…” Guess who made her that way? Rather than saying that, go to the gym and sign her up!
Don’t tell your hubby, “I regret ever knowing you!” Rather than saying that, pray for him since you are one!
If you are a single person who is subjected to verbal abuse on a regular basis, do not close your eyes and walk into a relationship. Seek counseling since he may not change; in fact, he may worsen after marriage because marriage does not transform anyone.
If the lady you want to marry is constantly shutting you down for any reason, it is a flaw; seek assistance and counseling!
Words are extremely crucial! Don’t tell me someone loves you when he or she constantly demotivates and weakens you with words!
5 Life-Altering Choices You Should Consider. Life is about making choices! Consider yesterday and count the number of decisions you took on your own. Your current life is a result of the choices you made in the past. The choices you make now will set the stage for the life you lead tomorrow.
2Sa 8:15 ERV – David ruled over all Israel, and he made good and fair decisions for all of his people.
There are seasons for every MAN. Morning, afternoon, and night, respectively.
The issue is that terrible choices made in the morning of one’s life do not manifest until the evening!
Most likely, you are currently in the afternoon phase of your life. Your morning error should not turn into a nighttime regret you’ll always have.
Strong decisions can alter the way your tomorrow will pan out.
Making decisions is difficult because it forces you to confront your routines and comfort zones, often in a painful way. However, it is the cost you must pay in order to proceed.
You cannot carry on doing things the way you have been doing them if you desire a different outcome in your life.
These are the choices you must make. However, the list is not all-inclusive.
1. Make the decision to connect with God.
Without this, you will not get far. A slight breeze, like when you blow out a candle, could end your life, and that would be the end of it. Fear Him who made you and has preserved you! Give your life back to Him in thanks for the gift of life!
Mat 10:28 (MSG) “Don’t be bluffed into silence by the threats of bullies. There’s nothing they can do to your soul, your core being. Save your fear for God, who holds your entire life—body and soul—in his hands.
2. Determine to have everyday fellowship with God.
You must experience daily refreshment and rejuvenation otherwise you will quickly grow weary. When fatigue is at its worst, suicidal thoughts may surface. Be sage!
Isa 40:31 (MSG) But those who wait upon GOD get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.
3. Always ask the Holy Spirit for guidance.
You have been designed as a believer to succeed solely with His assistance. You won’t be able to overcome sin without Him.
Gal 5:16 (KJV) This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
4. Choose to take responsibility.
Live your life responsibly. Get a pastor or mentor to intentionally guide you. In this way, you are kept alive. Get a confidant in your life who you can call whenever you need advice! Maintain contact with them. Grant him. Say a prayer for him. That is how a good protege behaves.
1Ti 4:14 (TPT) Don’t minimize the powerful gift that operates in your life, for it was imparted to you by the laying on of hands of the elders and was activated through the prophecy they spoke over you.
5. Choose not to engage in iniquity
Don’t let your youthful exuberance drive you to shortchange yourself or compromise your future. Zip up! Avoid engaging in any sexual vices. Quit being a boy, be authentic! Women, keep your virtue! Keep your word to your spouse. Never play around with premarital sex!
2Ti 2:19 (KJV) Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.
Ten Tips For Finding Joy As Single Or Married. Singles and married couples alike are frequently sidetracked by the ups and downs of life. Here’s a reminder of what you should do to each other on a regular basis, as well as how to do it.
1. Please pray your spouse
Allow it to be genuine. This allows you to bring God’s help to bear on your behalf. Genuine prayers for each other will help keep you together. Reduce disagreements and increase prayer periods.
2. Call each other every day.
The problem is not whether you will see each other later in the day; the issue is that communication is the lifeline of any relationship or marriage that can survive. Keep in touch. Send SMS. Use chats.
3. Exchange gifts on a regular basis.
Ten Tips For Finding Joy As Single Or Married
It does not have to be costly! But it must be touching. Take note of what I said: exchange gifts, not gather gifts! Those small actions serve to keep the fire burning in your relationship and marriage.
4. Tell him or her how God is dealing with you through His word.
Whatever God tells you in your devotion or personal walk with God will bless him or her for as long as it blesses you. When you want to do that, you don’t have to make it look like you’re in another service, but you should make it as natural as possible.
5. Be encouraging to one another.
You are his biggest fan. You are her biggest fan. Don’t put each other down. Don’t waste your time and energy on criticism. Because you are the closest person, your opinion counts for a lot.
6. Forgive one another so that your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
You’re not flawless, are you? So, rather than becoming a judge, gently overlook and forget any flaws that are designed to appear.
Ten Tips For Finding Joy As Single Or Married
7. Make corrections with love.
Do you realize that it can take up to nine affirming statements to accommodate and see one critique as it should be seen? But you know what people do? They make nine harshly critical statements and one or none of the affirming statements. That will not have a beneficial outcome.
8. Seek to assist one another in following God’s directions.
You have the most influence. Don’t tempt him or her to sin. Stay on the straight and narrow and assist him or her in resisting temptations.
9. Don’t fuel each other’s flaws.
Instead, you should balance him or her out because you will always be stronger in areas where he or she is weak. Make yourself ready to assist him in standing. Be there to assist her in saying no to evil. Don’t be perceived as an accomplice in crime or wrongdoing. Allow him or her to state, “I believe my loved one; he will never compromise.” Trust one another and keep your trust safe.
10. Make sure you have a mentor with whom you communicate on a regular basis.
Sometimes the most heated disputes and disagreements can be resolved with a few simple comments. That is God’s grace upon our lives and this ministry: to provide positive assistance in crisis-ridden couples and godly advise to those in courtship.
Accountability to others who have done what you are attempting to achieve is really wise. Stay close to these devotionals that have helped many marriages and relationships around the world, discuss it from time to time, and continue to make improvements! So, God help us!
Help, I’m Married. I want to protect him! I just don’t want to expose her. That is why I’m not talking! Have you heard that before? This is a simple recipe for marital failure! When there is no sort of guidance or oversight, or, to put it another way, when there is no accountability, a relationship or marriage will always fail, according to experience, counseling, and even the Bible.
You are not intended to be alone because of how the kingdom of God is set up. Usually, isolation leads to desolation.
Here is God’s word:
God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land. (Psalms 68:6 KJV)
Help, I’m Married.
God, in His wisdom, has surrounded us with both spiritual and physical families. You must be able to recognize and stick with your spiritual family. God has appointed someone to be in charge of you, someone who can provide you with insight and who can speak into your life when things are rough.
There are times when you are faced with problems, but the answer is only a few words away in the words of a servant of God who has been anointed.
This is why I frequently get concerned around couples that have no one to answer to. Couples without a mentor over them often make me uneasy. Someone correctly stated that you need mentors to avoid life’s tyrants.
Help, I’m Married.
Singles, beware of getting involved with someone who has no one to answer to except themselves! Something isn’t right when he or she starts claiming that God is his tutor.
I’ll explain why it’s so crucial that you marry a responsible person right away.
Sometimes when a couple calls for counseling, there is only one course of action that makes sense after hearing what they have to say.
If you are already married, understand that marriage is not a plaything. It’s not something that just works out fine without you putting the necessary structures and deliberate effort into healthy marital habits.
Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed. (Proverbs 15:22 Message)
Help, I’m Married.
God has surrounded you with great people who can help. I do not advocate you talk to “everybody” but both of you must mutually agree on who you can talk to, whom you respect a lot. This person must be a phone call away and should also have a great example in his or her own marriage.
This way, you will avoid unnecessary heartaches in marriage. There is no point in giving yourselves a high BP, just simply get help.
Marriages Under Pressure. If you have any of the below wives, then you must work more on your marriage and pray more in your marriage. Interestingly, the weaknesses are actually strength turned inward. So, you want to help bring the best out of your spouse!
1. The Choleric Blooded Wife
She is reputed to be vivacious, quick-witted, emotionless in her speech and deeds, and capable of surviving on her own.
She doesn’t require outside inspiration or encouragement. She has a tendency to be quite independent, which can cause conflict in relationships.
A choleric wife typically has a temperamentally opposed husband. They should therefore learn to play to their abilities and to hide their deficiencies.
Marriages Under Pressure
2. The Career-Oriented Wife
A woman at the pinnacle of her profession has a tendency to become haughty if caution is not exercised.
In order to allow his wife to pursue her professional goals to their fullest potential, the husband must feel safe.
Some husbands may feel so frightened by their wives’ advancement. This heart is not right. Allowing her to go in the greatest direction is ideal.
Honor for her husband is the crucial word here for her to keep going without issues. The wife does not become arrogant.
3. The Unyielding Stubborn Wife
Some wives can be obstinate. In my counseling work, I’ve witnessed wives who will maintain their position despite being shown the scriptures. Of course, there are also stubborn men too.
How can you recognize an obstinate wife?
Wives who are obstinate don’t talk much; they simply won’t budge. They will simply be staring at you, but they will still act accordingly.
Also, this is not good. The couple’s prayer life won’t benefit from it.
Marriages Under Pressure
4. The Manipulative Wife
The manipulative wife has a number of tactics at her disposal, such as sobbing, having temper tantrums, withdrawing, droning on and on, refusing sex, and nagging until she gets what she wants.
She desires the man to line up at all times.
This is not an ideal marriage.
5. The Demanding Wife
This woman is demanding, and difficult, and only pays attention to what she wants or knows.
Anger is her main weapon.
She picks fights with everyone who dared to disagree with what she feels because she constantly wants to be told what she wants to hear.
Her husband constantly worries about what might occur.
This is a poor mentality that could harm the marriage.
She has limited knowledge, which is an issue, and she frequently has the wrong desires.
This Life No Balance? So brilliant, but jobless. So gifted, but largely unknown. So cute, but no husband. So responsible, but wifeless.
Anything out of balance becomes dangerous. A car out of balance can have an accident. Same way, a marriage out of balance can have marital accidents. Just like vehicles can be tagged accidented, marriages can be tagged accidented as well. Relationships can be tagged accidented! At such times, the status becomes “It’s complicated!”
A man can be handsome but very wicked.
That is why the scripture talks about evil men and froward men.
A lady can be so beautiful yet empty-headed. The scripture validates that as well.
Proverbs 11:22 (MSG) Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head.
This Life No Balance?
So people would often say humorously, “This life no balance!”
It is true that a life without God “no go fit balance!”
However, I bring you a word today, in your relationship, marriage, business, and life, God is bringing you balance in Jesus’ name!
God has in His hands, a measuring tape, coming as a surveyor to measure all areas that are out of alignment and bringing them into balance!
Zechariah 2:1-5 (MSG) [1] I looked up and was surprised to see a man holding a tape measure in his hand. [2] I said, “What are you up to?” “I’m on my way,” he said, “to survey Jerusalem, to measure its width and length.” [3] Just then the Messenger-Angel on his way out met another angel coming in [4] and said, “Run! Tell the Surveyor, ‘Jerusalem will burst its walls— bursting with people, bursting with animals. [5] And I’ll be right there with her’—GOD’s Decree—’a wall of fire around unwalled Jerusalem and a radiant presence within.'”
This Life No Balance?
They are a fine couple, but they have no kids yet
They have a lot of money, but their spiritual life is Zero
They appear so spiritual but impoverished as well
So brilliant, but jobless.
So gifted, but largely unknown.
So cute, but no husband.
So responsible, but wifeless.
Out of balance!
That story is changing today!
This is the fourth month and 4 is the number of balance! That is why a car has four tires!
God is bringing balance into every area of your life in Jesus’ name! Meditate on the above scripture and use it to pray into your life.
Most relationships and marriages are so riddled with unnecessary quarries and bickering. Some of these altercations are actually needless and totally avoidable.
On our WhatsApp Singles’ Hub and Couples’ Hub, we looked at this topic yesterday
I want to quickly share with you a few things I discussed yesterday!
I will talk about one of the principles you can apply to reduce quarrels to the barest minimum.
A Guide For Conflict Resolution
The 15 – 1 Principle
This is talking about the scripture in Proverbs 15:1
Proverbs 15:1 (KJV) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
In eliminating unnecessary quarrels, you have to learn how to respond with soft answers. You don’t have to sound angry and caustic every time, for those only stir up the heat.
I love the way the Message Translation puts it:
Proverbs 15:1 (MSG) A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
A Guide For Conflict Resolution
Anger is like a bomb! But a gentle response can defuse it. You never see a person defusing a bomb with aggression. They do it gently and with the highest level of caution.
You can learn from this principle. You don’t have to put your “spouse in their place” every time.
Allow them to be themselves and make mistakes.
Have you ever wondered how your spouse has been existing so many years before you met? And they have not managed to “destroy” themselves all the while. God who has kept them will continue to keep them! Why do you think your spouse is the zenith of carelessness and you must keep correcting every time like it’s a ministry?
As a matter of fact, you don’t have to answer every statement. Neither should you respond when you know where it will lead.
I put a caption on social media some days ago. I said the things that you are seriously fighting about now, you will laugh over them in some years to come and wonder why you have to make a big deal out of such things.
The things that are drawing the most intense arguments now will not even draw a comment in some years to come.
Learn from this and apply it to your life! Once again, Happy New Month!
God’s Method for a Stronger Marriage. Single or Married, God has a method He has instituted to save you from unnecessary embarrassments and heartaches in your marital journey. He has a “deliverance” package for us, before the problem showed up!
Well, if He didn’t do that, He would have been an insensitive God, since this area is in major focus at certain seasons of our lives.
As a matter of fact, in the scripture, He actually used the word “deliver!”
Take a look at them:
For the woman:
Proverbs 2:12 (KJV) To DELIVER thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
For the man:
Proverbs 2:16 (KJV) To DELIVER thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;
God’s Method for a Stronger Marriage
Here is the provisioning system for your deliverance and protection when it comes to emotional decisions and marital conclusions.
In other words, if you follow the instructions here, you will not enter “one chance!”
What are these things that will “deliver” you?
It mentioned three things:
a. Wisdom b. Discretion c. Understanding
It all still boils down to one thing we have been emphasizing in these devotionals for years!
Spend time with God and His word before making decisions.
That is where you get wisdom, discretion, and understanding!
God’s Method for a Stronger Marriage
For those who are already married, this is also what will get you out of any storm or issue you are going through!
His word is powerful. His word is mighty!
As you read and study His word, wisdom, discretion, and understanding will come.
There will be clarity and everything will become explicit.
That which has been a puzzle is suddenly dissolved, and enigmas are unraveled.
As singles, when you are confused, get into that word. Clarity will come. Decisions to take will seep into your spirit.
As couples, rather than pick up draining quarrels with your spouse, use this deliverance method instead!
God still guides.
He has shown us His deliverance method, stick with it and He will bail you out of that imbroglio!
Satan’s Sneaky Strategy Through Thoughts. Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts!
That’s his channel, his pipe way, his major interest, the very same reason the mind is referred to as the battlefield.
If you refuse to lose in your thought realm, then you will not lose in life. But if you lose there, there is little anybody can do.
The devil doesn’t waste his time trying several weapons against you. He studies you and deploys arsenals that are specific to your weakness, usually beginning from your thoughts.
Most marriages have been messed up, not by outright sinful adventures, but by seemingly harmless thoughts.
The devil bombards your mind endlessly, filling your thoughts with images that are designed to trap you, weaken you, and draw you away from God’s favour.
This is why you have to consciously build a fence around your mind.
Pro 4:23 (AMPC) Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.
You are responsible for securing your hearts against fiery darts, sexual thoughts, pornographic images, undressing people with your mind, and so on and so forth.
Guard your mind and do not allow thoughts about some other persons aside from your spouse to infiltrate your mind.
If you live your thought gate open carelessly, intruders will flood your mind and mess it up.
In no time, you find yourself becoming what you are thinking.
If those thoughts already infiltrated your mind, what do you do?
2Co 10:5 (KJV) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Cast them down. When you do, the Holy Spirit is there to help you so that your mind can be sanctified! This is done by filling your mind with His Word. Spend a lot of time in the Word!
You can have the mind of Christ where the Holy Spirit begins to think through you.
As you begin to take responsibility for your thoughts, you will begin to take charge of your life.
May God bless, strengthen and hold you by the right hand in your relationship and marriage in Jesus’ name!
The Irresistible Power of Your Beloved’s Voice. Words. Utterances. Extremely powerful. Words come out with a sound. Everything begins with a sound. When heaven went quiet for thirty minutes, it was recorded because heaven is a place for sounds!
Nobody gets married without words. You have to ask for her hand in marriage. And there is no true union without a response. The agreement has to be mutual, and validated by what is said.
On the wedding day, husband and wife come together in a string covenant recognized by God Himself, and yet all they did was say some “words” we usually refer to as vows.
When these words are spoken, something miraculous takes place in the realm of the spirit and the man and woman become one flesh!
It would have been easier if they become one spirit. One flesh? That is how powerful words are.
That is why God attributes judgment to those who break the covenant because they are coming against their very words.
When a baby enters the milieu for the first time, he has to make a sound.
Words are powerful.
The Irresistible Power of Your Beloved’s Voice
If the words of a man were that powerful, how much more would be the words of God?
How great would it be to hear God speak to you? How blessed can you be if you refuse to make any move until you have heard Him?
How great will it be for relationships and marriage wherein the lovers won’t do anything until they have heard Him?
All our troubles, were they not initiated because we did not listen to Him and we choose to respond to the voice and dictates of our flesh?
The Irresistible Power of Your Beloved’s Voice
The beauty of listening to Him before acting is that His voice comes with power. A lot of power. Enough to destabilize the enemy, render opposition ineffective, reduce them to ruins, and give you a resounding victory!
Song of Solomon 2:8 (KJV) The voice of my beloved! behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills.
The voice of God has the capacity to leap over mountains and skip over hills!
That issue, that problem, that imbroglio, cannot and will never defy the voice of God!
Before you conclude on your fiancee or spouse, listen to what God is saying! His instructions come with the power to overcome that very issue!
The quality of your life is pegged by the quality of your thoughts. If you think you can, you are right. If you think you can’t, you are also right! Too many relationships and marriages have been ruined by the kinds of thoughts that were entertained. Thoughts are so powerful that they will eventually overwhelm your life and give your life direction.
In this devotional, we will delve into the power of thoughts and how they shape our lives. We will also explore how negative thoughts can ruin relationships and marriages, and how to stop negative thoughts.
Dealing With Negative Thoughts
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have everything they want, while others struggle to make ends meet? The answer lies in the power of thoughts. Your thoughts shape your beliefs, which in turn shape your actions. And your actions determine the quality of your life.
Dealing With Negative Thoughts
The Power of Thoughts
Thoughts are so powerful that the greatest robberies were first carried out mentally before execution. Thoughts can be so healthy that they would drive sicknesses away. Thoughts can be so sickening to the point of physical paralysis. How do you convince a man or woman to become a suicide bomber? They simply work on the thought realm. Once the person embraces the proposition in the thought realm, the rest is easy.
The power of thoughts is not limited to negative thoughts. Positive thoughts can also have a profound impact on our lives. When you think positively, you attract positive things into your life. You become more confident, more optimistic, and more resilient.
No wonder, the method through which God will change you daily into becoming who He wants you to be is through the renewal of your mind.
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Rom 12:2, KJV)
Transformation comes as a child of God as you read, study and meditate on God’s word.
Dealing With Negative Thoughts
Negative Thoughts Can Ruin Relationships and Marriages
In the same way, the method that the devil would use if he wants to ruin a relationship or marriage is through thoughts. Precisely, negative thoughts and lies!
All the quarrels in a relationship and marriage first of all start in your thoughts. When you are negative-minded, full of doubts and mistrust, the relationship or marriage in question will be shaky.
When you are negative-minded, you will misinterpret every effort of your spouse. You will suspect every move and you will not give your spouse breathing space.
Dealing With Bad Dreams and Nightmares. Dreams are like windows into the realm of the spirit. Dreams can come from God, from the devil, and from you.
God can warn you through dreams. They are often a language of the Holy Spirit through which He communicates to us and warns us of dangers ahead.
The devil can cause dreams too through which he injects the spirit of fear and trepidation in other to create a loophole and have access into your lives. Once the spirit of fear grips you and you do nothing about it, it’s an expressway for the devil to cause chaos and carry out his plans.
Some dreams are harmless, however. These are the ones you have because of the multitude of thoughts and watching too many films or playing an engrossing game. Suddenly you become Jack Bauer and you want to help complete his mission in 24!
Dealing With Bad Dreams and Nightmares
Now, if you have the gift of seeing and knowing, you have to be careful of what you feed yourself. You have to deliberately avoid junk in order not to contaminate that gift!
Back to the issue of bad dreams, once you have them, when you wake up, go into the offensive using relevant scriptures, come against those dreams, take authority over them, nullify them, plead the blood of Jesus, and declare that only the counsel of God will stand in your life!
Joel 2:28 says we will dream dreams! Dreams can be a tool in the hand of the Lord.
Ensure that you are not living in any habitual sins so that the pipe way of information can be sanctified. Once contaminated, confusion sets in!
Dealing With Bad Dreams and Nightmares
You will not be confused in Jesus’ name!
Every spirit assigned to waste opportunities around you via bad dreams, we take authority over them in Jesus’ name!
Join Revive Prayers throughout this week as we pray against bad dreams!
The Reluctance to Change In Marriage. In marriage, you only have to choose once. Circumstances emerge that present an opportunity to choose again, and even again, but those experiences are not what you pray for, and they usually come with unpleasant accomplices. Nobody prays for the loss of a spouse, separation, or divorce.
Ideally, you are stuck in a marriage with that fellow. You better choose wisely if you are still single.
And if you have chosen, decide to make it work and go the long haul.
Marriage is not designed with reverse gear except in very extreme cases.
The Reluctance to Change In Marriage
I am over fifty, and my wife is almost fifty, and we have not really changed. We only become “mature” in our tendencies.
It’s as simple as that. I am still as playful and funny as I used to be. She is still as “reserved’ as she used to be.
Yes, she borrows my playfulness a few times, as occasions demand, but she is essentially who she is. Reserved.
I borrow her reservation, a couple of times, but inside me, in the midst of the reservation, I am still as naughty as ever.
Playfulness and reservation in all excellencies!
The Reluctance to Change In Marriage
That difference was what attracted us.
Then that same difference irritated and repelled us when we got married. And then we wanted to change one another. Frustrating attempts.
Then we had to learn how to manage the differences to have peace at home.
Then the differences we didn’t want in our spouse, which cause quarrels and endless tantrums, become what you smile and laugh over. That is maturity!
That point is where you must get to and then life becomes peaceful and enjoyable.
The differences to live with do not include bad habits and sinful dispositions. Those are to be prayerfully and lovingly confronted and refused for the health of the marriage and the upbringing of the children.
That is how it works.
Those that are still single, don’t get lost in the ice cream or in the movie halls. Don’t enter his inner chamber yet! Choose wisely. Dig dip and pray well, the first thing is not sex! Never! That confuses the soul! Sex should be reserved till after marriage!
Unleashing Your Best Self In Marriage. Growing up in my family, I had several responsibilities in the house. At one time, I was the “sweeper” Can you imagine? I hated sweeping the living room with a passion. But that was my job and I had to do it because I am a member of the family. At one time, I had to do the dishes. At another time, I was the car washer! The only thing remaining for me was to open a car wash!
I remembered the day I locked my youngest siblings, aged 6 and 4, in the car, wind up, and forgot them there for over two hours. When I remembered, I rushed downstairs to open the car door, they were both there crying and sweating like no man’s business. That was the last day I allowed them to move near the car when I am doing the washing.
Unleashing Your Best Self In Marriage
The point here is that every family member has something he has to contribute to the family, in terms of home chores.
As singles and married, we are to have the regular “chores” we do in the church we belong to!
I really don’t understand believers who do nothing in their local assembly! A church is a spiritual family unit and everybody should have “chores”
As a matter of fact, when a single person says he has found a lover, my next question is always, which church? And which unit does he belong to?
I want to know if that person is responsible in his local assembly.
Does it mean a church worker will not have issues in marriage? I never said that. But being a worker and showing some level of responsibility is a step ahead of someone who attends church and does nothing, contributing nothing.
We don’t have that kind of spirit.
In the same way, married couples, find something to do in your local assembly. Be responsible. Pay your tithe, and be involved. When you are faithful in what belongs to others, then God will give you your own. Serve, Do your part, and be interested in advancing God’s kingdom
Unleashing Your Best Self In Marriage
There is a blessing in serving God over you, your family, your finances, and your health! See it here:
Exodus 23:25 (KJV) And ye shall SERVE the LORD your God, and he shall BLESS thy bread, and thy water; and I will TAKE SICKNESS AWAY from the midst of thee.
The reason Mr. Johnson and Mrs. Johnson kept quarreling and never understood each other was that they actually don’t understand God’s love.
If singles can ensure they marry someone who understands a little of the depth of God’s love, a lot of complications will be averted.
What do I mean?
Let me take you back to the text we have been considering for the past few days. This is something the Holy Spirit showed me, right?
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
Mat 8:5-8 (KJV) And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, [6] And saying, Lord, my servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented. [7] And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him. [8] The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed.
The Love Secret Every Couple Should Know
What the centurion responded with is our focus this morning.
I am not worthy that you should come under my roof…
How many times have we messed up in our relationships and marriages that we have concluded, there is no need to pray? I can’t even invite God to come under my roof!
How much of negative words have we uttered that have become swords of cryptic decoration hanging down from the roofs of our marital roofs, lacerating and causing more wounds on the lovers?
And the devil taking this back to God to accuse you to God, based on the words he instigated you to say?
And then coming back to accuse God to you convincing you that Jesus can’t come under your roof because so much damage has been done!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
And you believing all this, you are not worthy to come under my roof.
The Love Secret Every Couple Should Know
However, in an incredible twist of divine love, such that we have not comprehended the length, breadth, width, and depth of it, Jesus wants to come into your HEART, not just your roof.
His entrance into your heart is what will bring peace under your roof. With Him in your hearts, no third party can infiltrate your roof.
Dear single, look for the one whose heart has been completely occupied and has no vacancy for any other.
Dear couples, seek to grant an entrance to Jesus in your hearts and let His love and His word regulate your marriage.
This is where peace, Shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken begins from.
The Romantic Yes You Want To Have. The day was like any other day. But It was to remain a special day for me and there would be no way I would write the story of my life without referencing that day. It was the day my wife said Yes!
We were campus sweethearts and our love story was woven on the threads of the Institution we attended.
She had come to collect her plate, (another story entirely), when I got that almost elusive Yes!
What an excitement as the realization of finally having a whole human being agree to go on the marital journey with me. Do I have to tell you I was both full of ecstasy and fear at the same time? (Again, another story)
The Romantic Yes You Want To Have. God will never refuse you!
That Yes can begin a new course of life, but a lot of people have their story of several “NO”s. Feelings of being rejected and jilted are not pleasant at all.
Are we aware that God will not refuse anybody who asks for His help? Yes, His answer may not be the method we wanted, but He will always respond.
In the verses we have been looking at:
Mat 8:5-7 (KJV) And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, [6] And saying, Lord, my servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented. [7] And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him.
Jesus didn’t say, sorry I can’t come.
He never says, your case is “irreconcilable!’
Have you really taken your relationship or marriage to Him? Or you are busy trying to figure things on your own, installing spy apps to monitor your spouse, cameras around the house, recording calls, and so many actions emanating from insecurities and mistrust.
The Romantic Yes You Want To Have. Is the Relationship or Marriage Sick?
Like this man said, “my servant lieth at home sick…”, have you ever told Jesus, “my marriage lieth at home sick…”
You know what, Jesus will never refuse you. He will come. He will come with His winnowing fan and clean out every marital junk from your marriage!
Mat 3:12 (AMPC) His winnowing fan (shovel, fork) is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clear out and clean His threshing floor and gather and store His wheat in His barn, but the chaff He will burn up with fire that cannot be put out.
That is powerful!
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Mat 3:12 (MSG) He’s going to clean house—make a clean sweep of your lives. He’ll place everything true in its proper place before God; everything false he’ll put out with the trash to be burned.”
The Romantic Yes You Want To Have. Let Him Clean the House!
God knows how to clean the house. He would place the side chick in her proper place! He would place the husband and wife in their proper places. Every false guys and side chicks will be trashed out!
Before you call on the lawyer, call on Jesus. He will not refuse you.
Do You Truly Desire Your Lover? The Johnsons have been married for a while. Too many quarrels riddled their marriage and they are at their wits’ end.
Bode and Sally who have been in a relationship for two years are also at a point where they want out. They feel they have exhausted all possibilities.
Yesterday, I admonish us from a scripture:
Mat 8:5 (KJV) And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him,
I explained that Jesus entered, Capernaum, and the centurion came unto him. Jesus entrance wasn’t enough to complete the cycle of an intervention, the centurion had to go to him.
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
But I want to talk to singles and married this morning, that after Jesus entered, the centurion came, there is still one more thing to do.
Do You Truly Desire Your Lover?
The scripture says that the centurion came, BESEECHING Him!
One of the meaning of the root word is “Desire”
Do you really desire your partner?
Or is somebody distracting you out there and messing up with the “desire juice’ meant for your partner?
Have you really beseeched the Lord about your relationship or marriage?
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
When last did you pray together? I mean together, not some isolated grumbling where you are asking God to judge your partner speedily! If possible, kill him joor!
Ha! Has it come to that?
Marriage is such a strong one flesh arrangement that any prayer you offer against your spouse is a prayer against yourself.
Before you conclude, on separation or divorce, Have you allowed Jesus to enter? Have you gone to Jesus? Have you beseeched Him?
Do You Truly Desire Your Lover?
There is a price to pay for a blissful marriage. It is never automatic.
There are things to do. Beseeching involves exploring all forms of communication, counseling, therapy, counsels and all.
Not that you are ready to drop your spouse like hot potatoes at the slightest provocation.
Go to the Lord with genuine desire for your relationship and marriage and beseech Him.
Crossing the Divide: An Entrance And A Coming. You are born again. Your spouse or fiancee is born again. You both go to church. And for that, you believe so much it’s going to be living joyfully ever after.
But it didn’t turn out to be. Issues arose. Differences spiked. Hot voluptuous words were vociferously exchanged. Things fell apart quickly and in an unbelievable happenstance, the one you loved so much became the one you are irritated with so much.
You could not reconcile the days he used to show up with chocolates and gifts with the present day he would show up with frowns and a cranky attitude.
He complains about everything.
She is so disrespectful.
He is so insensitive and uncaring.
She doesn’t know how to cook again. Her soup is now sour.
He simply deceived me. How did I fall for his lies? He really didn’t love me.
The both of you begin to wonder how you claim to have Jesus and all of this is happening.
Crossing the Divide: An Entrance And A Coming
Well, let me admonish you from one verse the Holy Spirit quickened to me early in my prayer time this morning.
Mat 8:5 (KJV) And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him,
Just as Jesus entered Capernaum, He did enter your lives. But that is not the end of the story.
That verse went on to posit, that there came unto Him…
It is not enough that Jesus entered your lives, now you must come unto Him.
Both of you.
Consciously. Deliberately.
Crossing the Divide: An Entrance And A Coming
You must seek Him in your relationship and marriage, and involve Him in all you do.
You may be an expert lover boy or lover babe, but your romantic dexterity will not be enough to navigate the complex waters of marital endeavor.
So daily, if possible, hourly, you call on Him, you converse, you listen, and you heed His instructions.
After nearly 24 years after wedding my wife, I can tell you this works.
Put Him first place. Honour Him and then you will know how to Honour one another.
