I want to write to you this morning as a father would write his son or daughter on qualities to watch out for in deciding who to get married to.
Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes. Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green. The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir. – Son 1:15-17 (KJV)
Let’s get into this by the Holy Spirit.
1. Beauty and Comeliness
Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair… – Son 1:15(KJV)
The word fair means “goodly, pleasant, well.”
Attraction is important. Physical endearment is of utmost importance.
The pulchritude should not be ignored in the equation of marriage. Get married to someone that you are attracted to.
God will never lead you to someone you hate with a passion. He is not an author of confusion.
No matter how many dreams you had about someone, if he or she is someone you loathe and despise, do not be coerced into a relationship by some spiritual experience you can’t prove its source.
He should be pleasant to your eyes. She should be pleasant to your eyes.
After the wedding, you should wake up singing in the Spirit when you behold him or her, not pleading the blood of Jesus against him or waking up with a hiss and regret. So, this is important, okay.
Marriage is not a hundred meter dash, it is a marathon and you are in it for the long haul. So, your lover must be pleasant.
In reality, nobody is ugly. Beauty is in the beholder’s eye.
Your lover may not be pleasant to all, but he or she must be pleasant to you. That is all that matters.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My eyes are opened. I look well before making a choice
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes.
Today, I want to pray and bless you being the first day of the year!
I want to invoke the anchor scripture of this ministry over you and yours.
If you are a member of KHC, and particularly if you are a partner, it is simply your heritage to partake of the blessings of the mandate.
Fourteen years ago, KHC began with newsletters which were circulated all over Nigeria.
The scriptures God give us then is what I want to use to pray for you this morning.
The hand of the LORD was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the LORD, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones, – Eze 37:1 (KJV)
If the hand of the Lord is upon me, why would I be set in a valley of bones? I thought I would be taken to a mountain of meat and drinks!
Are you in a valley experience in your relationship or marriage where everything seems dry?
Listen to me, you are not going to die there!
And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry. – Eze 37:2 (KJV)
God wanted the prophet to see first of all that naturally speaking, the situation is beyond repair.
Lo, the bones were very dry! Everything looked awry. Finances is in a mess.
In relationship and marriage, it is a definition of abandonment and disappointment.
The bones are dry! But you know what? There is nothing in your life right now that God cannot fix!
Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the LORD. – Eze 37:4 (KJV)
So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone. – Eze 37:7-10 (KJV)
The bones were not only dry, they were scattered.
Are you in a place like that? Nobody has asked you out in a while. Dry bones. Those that asked you out were unbelievers and irresponsible men. Dry bones.
Adam said bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh… but what we have here are only bones!
But as he prophesied, something began to happen. The bones that were dry suddenly received life. Bone that were scattered started looking for each other. Sinews came upon them. There arose a great army!
Whatever area of your life this morning that looks like dry bones, life is coming upon it in Jesus name!
This morning, I prophesy as I am commanded, let there be a noise and a shaking.
Let there be a shaking away of every shame and disgrace in your life in Jesus name!
Let there be a noise, a noise of joy coming from your home and your family in Jesus name!
A noise of rejoicing coming forth from your life in Jesus name.
I prophesy to the bones that are scattered, the spouse that seems scattered away, let there be a coming together now in Jesus name.
Yes, let there be a supernatural coming together in Jesus name!
I prophesy and release the breath of God, the power of the Holy Spirit on every area that is dry, receive life now in Jesus name!
A great army of finances is arising for you.
A great army of resources is arising for you in Jesus name.
In the very valley which have been dubbed a valley of dry bones, a great army arose!
In the very land where you have been afflicted and you have toiled, God will give you the victory and make you rejoice in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My bone is locating me this year.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to locate the bone of my bone.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ezekiel 37:10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army.
There are four basic temperaments. Your wife falls into one primary temperament and a secondary one.
She would always act out based on her temperamental disposition. It is your duty as the man to find out what her temperament is.
Knowing her temperament will help you to also know her strength and weaknesses. This will further enhance the ability to help her in maximizing her strength and minimizing her weaknesses.
This is what productivity in life is all about. Making adjustments and not just being fixated on who you are as a result of your temperament.
You have to constantly change, drop bad attitudes and negative tendencies and embrace productive habits.
Your temperament will never be an excuse for your life’s outcome. So before you say you really know her, what is her temperament?
2. Understand her Choices
A lady thinks different from a man. Most of the time, her choices will be emotional and shockingly sentimental.
If you don’t understand this, you will want to shut her down most times, simply because she is not logical.
The reality is that not all life’s decisions can be established on the ground of logic. Sometimes, you have to embrace her emotional and sentimental point of view to strike a balance.
Ignoring her or refusing to understand her choices can cost you a lot of losses.
She would always prefer you to buy food and kitchen stuffs rather than change the paint of your car!
She loves shiny things!
Understand her and don’t just focus on your own needs to her detriment.
3. Understand her Femininity
You have to understand that she is a female.
She is tender! She is sensitive! She is emotional! She is motherly! She is caring! She is a love being! She wants to be cared for!
She wants you to sometimes know what is wrong with her without her saying it because she herself doesn’t know!
She wants you to complement her always, all day, all moments and she would never be tired of receiving complements.
She wants you to rub her shoulder after eating a good meal instead of rubbing your tummy!
She wants you to verbalise your love, act it out and really mean it.
Compliment her without being sarcastic. She wants you to speak in hushed tones, using romantic words.
She doesn’t want you shouting at her or raising your voice unnecessarily.
She wants you be a lover boy! Her knight in shining armour!
What else do you think she wants?
Let me hear you in the comment section.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to love her God’s way
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to love my partner at all times.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Her needs are specialized and peculiar. They are different from your own needs. From spiritual needs to physical needs and emotional needs, you have to find out!
You will immediately discover her preferences, that what excites you on Television doesn’t not tickle her fancy! Find out and seek to meet those needs!
3. Understand her Language
Her language is like her password. It could be gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch or acts of service.
You don’t communicate to her on your own terms but on her own terms.
Find out her definition of “romantic” and go after that. The definition of the word “romantic” is not what you find in a dictionary, but there is a dictionary in her mind with its own definition like no other, authored by her, and you have to find a way to retrieve that dictionary and check the definition which would often be different from what you think.
4. Understand her pressures
She usually has pressures. Most times, she is not even seeking for those pressures to be taken away, because they are often necessities of life.
She just wants to know that there is somebody who understands what she is going through.
Many years ago, my wife explained this to me. She was pouring her hearts to me, and expounding her pressures and at a point I bursted out;
“Hey! I am not the Holy Spirit. I cannot take these things away!”
“And then she looked at me and said,
“I know you are not the Holy Spirit. I am not asking you to solve these issues, I only want to have a feeling somebody understands what I am going through!
Wow! That is what that lady in your life wants! An understanding heart and that takes the pressures off.
She just wants an understanding, loving and caring man!
Unfortunately, most times, single ladies look for this in wrong places and often fall into the hands of men who are only looking for sexual gratification.
If you are a single lady, make your needs known to God and never offer your body in exchange for some care that will vaporise the next minute!
Wait for the process of meeting that right man who will love you appropriately and will take care of you!
May God grant you strength in your inner man to cooperate with God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to understand my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I receive wisdom to understand my partner.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 3:17-19 (KJV) That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love.
Women are generally emotionally complex than men. Their emotions are endlessly and intricately intertwined!
Women are deep. That is why they can hold a baby for nine months without bulging. Have you ever left a baby alone with a man for thirty minutes?
That is why God listens to them because they understand what it means to travail. They know what it means to hold a growing life and then birth that life at the right time.
Understanding a lady is a journey!
A guy who had been in courtship for seven months sat in my office and said he knows everything about his fiancé. I chuckled. He probably doesn’t understand anything about her.
I have been married to my wife for twenty two years, and yet I am not quick to want to say I understand her.
I once heard a man who had been married for fifty years saying he just discovered one new thing about his wife! Lobatan!
So, how do you begin the journey of understanding a woman? I am just going to give you ideas ni o!
1. Understand her God
One of the most sure ways to understand that special lady in your life is to seek to understand her maker.
Nobody understands a product like the manufacturer of that product.
Nobody, no human being will ever understand her like God would.
So, the beginning of the journey is when the man develops a conscious relationship with God. When you are rooted in God’s love, God will now cause His love to be shed abroad in your hearts.
As you begin to understand the breadth, the length and the depth and height of this love, this will give you a wisdom that surpasses every effort in trying to understand her, and you will know how to do the right things that will unlock her creativity and make her feel loved.
That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. – Eph 3:17-19 (KJV)
To be continued…
CONFESSIONFOR THE DAY I choose to understand my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I receive wisdom to understand my partner.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 3:17 (KJV) That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love.
The one you marry will either make or mar you. She can ignore and frustrate you, if she is the wrong woman. If she is the right one, she kneels to pray and intercede for you.
She loves you genuinely. She cares for you. She makes your house a home.
Marriage is destiny wedged together. Blessings are shared. Afflictions are intertwined. Family problems and lineage issues mingle together. Family demons from both families meet and re-strategise. Thank God for the blood of Jesus!
You had better marry a man who is romantic and who can also cast out demons.
You had better marry the one that cannot only speak phonetics but can also speak in tongues.
May your marriage and family not be subject to weak and beggarly elements who had been conquered in Christ.
There are issues and troubles where money becomes useless…and the only thing that stands sure is a relationship with God, and knowing your rights in Him.
You are not married yet, he is stressing out your life asking you to compromise, what are you still doing with such a person?
Don’t you know that whoever sins against your God will sin against you? And don’t you know that whoever you sin with will sin against you? It takes the same heart!
Calm down! Review that relationship! Talk to someone! Seek counsel! Isolation leads to desolation.
When the devil wants to deal with a man, he isolates that man!
What are your godly friends saying? What is your pastor saying? What are your patents saying?
You cannot be right while all the authority figures in your life are wrong! Press the Pause button!
What if I lose him or her? Then he or she is never yours in the first place! God is not an author of confusion.
I will stop here this morning!
I pray that God will strengthen you to do the right thing and do the needful.
In the name of Jesus, I put a stop to all manipulative, sick, demented and distressed relationships.
Have a great day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not marry wrong.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to get it right in marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Why is that prayer important? It is so important because if you marry wrong, everything can quickly go wrong and awry.
I tell young folks, be patient. Do not be in a hurry! Calm down!
Psa 46:10a (KJV) – Be still, and know that I am God…
The Message Translation is more apt.
Psa 46:10a (MSG) – “Step out of the traffic!
Farabale!
In English, Farabalestic!
Patience has virtues. Waiting works with time, and with time, intentions and motives are exposed.
Walk down the aisle, don’t run. Do not chase anybody to the altar, and do not be coerced into matrimony.
The wedding is ring is not supposed to be handcuff. It is a token of covenant, not an item of bondage.
Dear singles, never ever get involved with a man who doesn’t know God. He must not only know God, but he must also be a God chaser. He must be filled with the Holy Ghost.
Somebody or something would always fill him, he cannot be void, so you had better be sure it is the Holy Spirit. That way, your risk is minimized, because the love of God shed abroad in a man’s heart does wonders to his decisions and dispositions.
After the wedding, you are subject to his wisdom or to his whims and caprices. You are subject to his love or his lust. You are subject to his creativity or his perversion.
He becomes your head in reality and in imagination. The oil flows down, or the blows!
He lays hands on you to pray for you or lay blows on you to prey on you.
He stops you from attending church or stops you from missing church.
He takes you to the club or takes you to God.
He becomes your head or your headache.
She becomes your help or your hell.
She becomes your inspiration or your frustration.
She takes sexual stress off you or pushes you into the waiting hands of adultery.
She honors you or becomes your horror.
She nags you until you feel like a rag.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not marry wrong.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to get it right in marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
There was no Facebook or WhatsApp. No E-Mail. No phones. So, I resorted to writing letters.
Over twenty-five years, those letters are still with us. Letters are powerful. And it is easier today because you can communicate using several media.
Stay in touch.
When he has not called you in weeks, he is not in love with you. I can assure you!
When a guy is getting ready to drop a lady, he would simply stop calling. Communication will wind down.
If as a lady, you find out you are the one driving a relationship, he never calls and he never returns your call, it is time to wake up into reality. He has moved on! You are probably just in love with yourself.
9. I was willing to buy things for her at my own expense
Out of a meager income, I bought her what I could. I had to deprive myself some of the time to do that.
Love gives. Love delights in giving.
When he is in love, he would give without you having to ask anything.
I am scared of guys who had never given a dime and yet keep receiving all kinds of gifts. That is a one-way relationship. It is not mutual and it would not last.
10. I was constantly in touch
I knew what was going on with her every time. I assisted in writing her final year thesis.
A man that loves you will not forget to call you in three weeks. In fact, he would stay in touch with you till you feel it is too much.
When you say you are in love and yet you don’t even know his second name or where he works, something is not quite right.
I pray for you today, your precious time will not be wasted.
God will strengthen you and correct every relationship errors in Jesus name!
Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I make the right choice in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be more creative in loving my partner
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Merry Christmas! This season will bring the seasonings ordained by God into our lives in Jesus name!
Continued from yesterday.
4. I was creative in my expression of love to her
I studied her to find out what makes her happy, and then I went out of my way to create some of those things like cards, paintings, and so on. I have a way with words, so I made full use of that.
He should be willing to sacrifice some things for your happiness.
5. I was willing to wait and not compromise
I was content with waiting. I was not a pastor then, but I knew sexual compromise was wrong. I wouldn’t want to push her into sin.
There is a problem when he is insisting you should sin with him. Whoever sins with you will eventually sin against you!
It is one thing if he is an unbeliever, but if he is a child of God and he is telling you to do that, something is really wrong somewhere.
6. I prayed for her more than I prayed for myself
I found it easy to pray for her. I was fulfilled doing that. All my personal prayer points were done, but hers were prioritized. I just prayed for her and I was okay with that.
If he loves you, he would always mention you before God. Something is really amiss when someone who says he is in love with you prays for himself regularly and forgets to mention your name!
7. I wanted her to grow spiritually
I bought her books. I got her enough material that would help her spiritually. We shared books. We had Word vigils alongside others of just studying God’s word. (Don’t go and do vigils alone o!)
A relationship doesn’t survive only because you went out, went to cinemas, and had a lot of fun. There are spiritual exercises that are needed.
For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
Rom 14:17 (KJV)
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I make the right choice in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be more creative in loving my partner
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Well, you can know. It is so easy to know but we often close our eyes to the obvious signs. I am going to use myself as an example.
Ours is a typical campus lovebirds story. There are ways I felt and there are things I did.
While these may not be specific things he must do as well, they are just to guide you in actually knowing whether the love is genuine.
1. I wanted to be with her always
More than anything, I wanted to be around her.
Something is not in place when he is not bothered about not seeing you in months.
A lady once told me she is preparing for marriage and yet the husband-to-be had not seen her in two years despite that they were just a few kilometers apart. Well, it turned out that he eventually left her for another person.
2. I felt like I was her protector
We all know God is her protector, but I had that feeling I was responsible for her.
This feeling engendered compassion which in turn informed my actions towards her.
If you have been slapped, be careful. If you have been forcefully violated be careful.
If you have been left in the cold because he was angry not minding your safety, be careful. If you have been massively embarrassed and shouted at in front of friends and families, be careful.
3. I wanted her to be happy
I couldn’t bear the sight of her being moody or downcast.
I would always try to make her laugh, quote scriptures to her about the joy of the Lord and all that.
If he doesn’t care about you being sad and depressed for days as a result of his actions, be careful. Things are not likely to change after the wedding.
If he seems to enjoy you being down and sad, something is wrong somewhere.
If he doesn’t care about you being pregnant again despite the trauma of the abortion you went through, you need to speak to your legs. Abortion is murder, it should not be trivialized.
By the time you have aborted twice, you really need to review your life and get out of that abusive relationship that will lead nowhere.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I make the right choice in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to see what I cannot see.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Don’t let his shiny lamp, his fine car, and his iPhone without God deceive you. Those things bring temporary happiness that will fizzle out.
Real joy, constant victory only comes from God-ordained relationships and marriages who are constantly living by the word and the Spirit.
If he has no oil, he would think the lamp is the problem, and he would go and get more lamps, he would dabble into adultery!
They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: [4] But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
Mat 25:3-4 (KJV)
Nothing is more excruciating to be married to a wicked spouse, cheating on you, lying, deceiving, full of frowardness, and never giving you peace of mind.
Nothing is more debilitating to be married to a strange woman, a knife instead of a wife, bringing daily hell instead of daily help!
Nothing is more fulfilling to be married to a man or woman who is faithful to God, and has no capacity for evil through cheating, lying, playing religion, brandishing lamps without oil.
Where is your oil? Where is your depth? Where is your fear for God? Where is your integrity? Do you pay tithe? Do you honour God? Then you can ask me out and only then will my heart fall for you!
I challenge you to look beyond the lamp and go for the oil, the oil will lubricate your destiny and prevent your marital engine from knocking!
I pray for you this day, with every fibre of my being and with the strength of my call, you will not miss it!
Can you pray in the Spirit a little?
I commit you into the hands of the one that will exalt your horns like the horn of a unicorn and who will anoint your head with fresh oil.
Every form of confusion is removed from your life in Jesus name!
You will not collide with losers. You will not be entangled with foolishness. God will go ahead of you and make the crooked places straight. Affliction will not have intercourse with you! Delay is removed from your race! Heaven will announce you!
Be blessed today!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I make the right choice in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to choose wisely.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
What kind of lover should you not marry? Follow me this morning.
They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
Mat 25:3-4 (KJV)
The lamp represents the pulchritude, it is that which is seen, it is that which attracts.
It is often polished and shiny. With all the hips, tips and lips in place.
But not all have oil in their vessel. Their lamp is only burning for a while.
Before you choose, check beyond the lamp, and be sure he has oil in his vessel.
A lamp without extra oil is an empty facade. The shame will soon be obvious to all.
Does he have the fear of God? Is she filled with the Holy Ghost?
Don’t go for phonetics alone, be sure he or she can speak in tongues. Demons have no respect for phonetics.
Afflictions of life engendered by wicked spirits can snuff out the light of the lamp quickly.
Without an extra oil, the lamp is useless, a fake life, devoid of life and substance, a shame in waiting, a disaster on queue!
I challenge you not to fall in love with foolishness.
The lyrics of Beyonce or the tune of Fela will not bail you out in the days of trouble. What is a professed child of God doing with curse-filled lyrics and music?
Invariably, you are what you listen to! You will need the word of the living God.
Plastic Christianity without a depth will lead to frustration. Religion without a deliberate relationship with God will embarrass you soonest.
Are you getting married to his bank account or the true riches of the kingdom? Money is different from wealth. There are billionaires who are bound by the spirit of poverty!
If you have no oil in your vessel, don’t ask me out!
To be concluded tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I make the right choice in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to choose wisely.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
The greatest power you have as a single is not your handsomeness or beauty. It is not your height neither is it your hot legs. It is not your phonetics, and it is not your finesse.
Your greatest power, strength or advantage is your CHOICE!
Marriage is not or is not supposed to be by force but by choice.
Your choice!
You will live with your choice! You will live with the consequences of your choice. You will live with the strengths of your choice. You will live with the weaknesses of your choice.
If your choice is good, it translates into a good life. If your choice is bad, bad stuffs awaits.
A lady has the power of choice before wedding. After wedding, she still has choices, but her choice is subdued and influenced by the ultimate choice of her husband.
Many choice ladies on fire for God as singles ended up using the fire to cook only because of their choice.
Destinies have been warped and distorted by the choice of their choice!
In deciding who to marry, go beyond the obvious and plunge deeper to see what is beyond the pulchritude.
Go beyond the flesh of the flesh and check out the bone of the bones.
After you have seen the hot legs, does she have a hot heart as well? His height attracted you, but does he have a life a well?
A man who doesn’t have a life should not seek for a life partner.
You love his beard gang, are you sure it is not a gang-up against your destiny? Her smile slays you, but behind the smiles, are you sure there lies no bile?
The choice of a man is zeroed up after wedding, so choose well. The choice of a woman after wedding is final, choose well.
There is no clean divorce, it is always a tearing apart.
To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I make the right choice in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to choose wisely.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
The scriptures talk about the way of a serpent upon the rock, right in the church! How did something so sinister find its way into something so good?
Let’s look at some dimensions of lust hidden or masked in love this morning. You think it is love, but it is actually lust! What a contradiction!
1. The Fainting
Oh! Give me something refreshing to eat—and quickly! Apricots, raisins—anything. I’m about to faint with love!
Son 2:5 (MSG)
Ladies are enthralled by attention and non-verbal expressions of love.
Their goals are different. The lady wants care, attention, and love. The guy wants sex, period!
The contradiction of goals results in confusion of the soul. Two cannot walk together except they be agreed…
2. The Cradling
His left had cradles my head, and his right arm encircles my waist!
Son 2:6 (MSG)
In no time, his manifesto begins in aggressive fulfillment of intentions.
The left hand that should be busy with the meals travels to the head and cradles it lovingly or “lustingly?”
The right hand in daring progression surpasses the timidity of the left hand and encircles the waist. Desires travel into blood veins.
The heart races and gallops like a horse who just sighted waters! A rush of adrenaline colliding with dopamine!
Hey! Destinies are about to be ruptured. Glorious futures are about to be tainted. Promising ministry hopefuls about to morph into miseries!
3. The Stirring
Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
Son 2:7 (MSG)
Oh, there comes a warning Don’t do it. Don’t excite love!
In a moment, his voice and words are so gentle and caressing, the next moment, his biceps pins you to the wall in a wicked hold, because love has been excited. Be warned!
Eh, the time is not ripe. You are not ready!
Don’t let the “glee” take over the “flee!” It is time to flee!
Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer…
The gazelles and the wild deer know how to run from the enemy!
Run! Flee! Don’t go to that guest house again. Don’t follow him to that hotel again. Don’t go and meet him on campus again. Don’t frolic with him in the office again. Don’t take his money again, because his money controls you.
Take a cue from the gazelles and the wild deer. When they see the lion crouching, they take off. They are not ready to be preyed upon.
Don’t be a prey! Don’t even follow him home!
As a father, I say to my daughters, don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
Have a great day!
God bless you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love genuinely. I am not filled with lust
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love genuinely.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every wrong relationship
Son 2:3-7 (MSG) As an apricot tree stands out in the forest, my lover stands above the young men in town. All I want is to sit in his shade, to taste and savor his delicious love.
Well, born again or not, there is a strong desire that comes with falling in love. If you like, speak in tongues till tomorrow, this desire will not go.
But what can be subdued is lust that often wants to tag along, like Lot tagged along with Abraham.
Yes, the desire will not go, because there is nothing wrong with the desire, it is the fulfillment of the desire at a wrong time that gets us into trouble.
So, all you want when you fall in love is that you want to sit down in each other’s shade, with feelings of wanting to taste and savor the delicious love.
I felt like that. She felt like that. But we waited. You can wait as well.
No matter how intense the desire is, do not taste that love before wedding. Tasting love and consummating your love before wedding is like stealing a hot meat from the pot of stew before it is ready.
Your taste bud gets burnt and you can lose your sense of taste, which ultimately leads to tasting more pot of stew that does not belong to you!
2. The Feasting of the Eye Rather Than On The Meal
Son 2:4 (MSG) He took me home with him for a festive meal, but his eyes feasted on me!
So she followed him home or to some guest house for a meal. Let’s just eat out.
May we not dine with the wrong person. May we not eat up our destinies.
The guy had more plans than just the meal.
Ladies, be careful who buys free meals for you, you might be paying for it soonest.
Rather than for the guy to feast on the meal, his eyes were riveted on the damsel.
Essentially, men are moved by sight.
Men, watch what you see. Ladies, watch what is seen.
I will stop here this morning.
Have a blessed day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love carelessly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let my strong desires be for you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every wrong relationship
Friendship is like a foundation of relationship upon which a great marriage is built. Marry your friend! Whoever is not a friend, is not worth a marriage relationship.
Friends love each other. Friends forgive each other. Friends look after one another’s good. Friends talk and play. Friends do not “form” for each other. Friends pray together. Friends easily overlook each other’s mistakes. Friends cover for each other.
If your lover is not a friend, there will be issues.
Do not marry a “father” or a “mother” or an “uncle,” rather marry a friend.
If he or she is not a friend, don’t walk down the aisle.
2. Friends are thoughtful and sensitive
A friend doesn’t just blab, he knows what to say, when to say it and how to say it.
A friend is careful not to get you unnecessarily aggravated. That is the kind of person you need in marriage.
An understanding person. A person on whose shoulder you can lean. A hearing ear, understanding heart, and empathic listener.
The one that will not allow you to say anything while you are courting is already showing you that you will be muted in marriage. And that can be frustrating.
Nothing is as frustrating as unexpressed and bottled up words and feelings.
A friend enjoys your “talk” although you should not resort to nagging.
3. Friends are truthful
Friends would always tell you the truth.
Beware of people who say they are your friends and all they do is to tell you what you want to hear, and flatter you all the time.
A flattering neighbor is up to no good; he’s probably planning to take advantage of you.
Pro 29:5 (MSG)
Marry a friend who can tell you the truth, because you often time get to positions that it is only your spouse that can tell you the truth.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Pro 27:6 (KJV)
The one that is kissing you but will never tell you as it is is not a friend. He or she is not ready to tell you anything that will cause the “kissing” to discontinue. That person is not really a friend.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will get it right in marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will lead you to the right person.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every wrong relationship
For singles, work on your anger. Anger can make men run away!
Guys are logical, so in each of your anger episodes, they are thinking about what will happen after wedding and they are making up their minds.
That could, on few occasions, be the reason why some guys just disappear after promising weeding! They got scared!
I am not asking you to pretend. I am asking you to work on it. Read books on anger management. Read scriptures that talks about anger. Some of them will humble you.
For example,
Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.
Ecc 7:9 (MSG)
Does that lump appear on your heard when you are pissed? The Bible is saying that it is foolishness to be given to uncontrollable anger.
Anger can end relationships. Anger can scatter relationships. Anger can divide a God ordained relationship!
Let’s take a look at two angry brothers in the Bible.
Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. [6] O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. [7] Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
Gen 49:5-7 (KJV)
Anger leads to division and scattering.
The Message Translation is apt in verse 7
A curse on their uncontrolled anger, on their indiscriminate wrath. I’ll throw them out with the trash; I’ll shred and scatter them like confetti throughout Israel.
Gen 49:7 (MSG)
Your God ordained love affair not be shredded! Your courtship or marriage will not end in the trash! Your home will not be scattered like confetti!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with an angry lover.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from an angry lover
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every wrong relationship when
We will be looking at finding and keeping the love of your life.
1. Where to get a good wife
House and riches are the inheritance from fathers, but a wise, understanding, and prudent wife is from the Lord.
Pro 19:14 (AMP)
A good, wise, understanding and prudent wife can only come from one source and that is from the Lord, period.
It won ’t come from clubbing around. It won’t come from sampling ladies around. It will only come from the Lord.
It is simply logical then, that a deliberate, conscious relationship with God is a must to have a good family and make a good choice.
How else can you ask God for a prudent wife without having a relationship with Him?
In essence, you want a good spouse? Go after God first, since a prudent wife comes from Him.
If the Bible says there are prudent, wise women, then it means that there are wives that are foolish and not prudent. Trust me, you want a prudent wife!
Your choice of a life partner will either make you or mar you, a delight or a disaster. Your choice will make your home a haven or an oven.
What if you are already married and you feel your wife is not prudent? Of which you may be wrong! But let’s assume that is how you feel.
What you do is to go back to God and retrace your steps. He will tell you what to do, He will give you wisdom on how to go about it.
The solution to the imbroglio you are facing in your home and marriage now is with God. Take time to find that out before you take rash decisions.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God will lead me to a prudent wife.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 19:14 (KJV) House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.
This weekend is KHC Couples Camp-Meeting! Holding at Redemption Camp! Registration is on this link – HERE For specific inquiries, chat up Pastor Sophia on +234 807 832 0566
We started on this yesterday!
4. Blame Shift
You are constantly blamed for their woes, problems, difficulties, lack, failure and unhappiness.
You are told that you are the reason for any misfortune in their lives.
You are constantly reminded that everything with them was okay until you came into their lives.
5. Withdrawal
They are adept in withdrawing into their shells in order to punish you and demand your attention. They disengage and use neglect, abandonment, and measured withdrawals to punish, frighten and intimidate you.
6. You are always in the wrong
They make you feel that they are always right, and you are wrong. They would arrange facts and sentiments to prove that to you over and over again until you start thinking there is a curse on you, or that some people are fighting you spiritually from your village.
7. Control over you finances
They try to control your finances and how you spend money. Your credit card is permanently with them.
They tell you what to buy and what not to buy. You are told that you are a careless spender and and you cannot mange money well.
They end up emptying your account from month to month and keep threatening you that they will leave you and you will not be able to survive.
You know what?
God has made you free from such manipulative relationships!
Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.
Psa 124:7 (KJV)
The snare of the soul has been broken by the Lord Jesus Christ. Do not subject yourself under any weak and beggarly element again! You have been made free!
I pray for all who might be in an emotionally draining and abusive alliance. I break the power of such deceptions and manipulations in Jesus name and I proclaim you free in Jesus name!
Whosoever the son of man has made free is free indeed! You are free from today in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The eyes of my understanding are opened to see these signs.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every wrong relationship when
Emotional abuse is a weapon normally used to control and bring dominance upon the other person. This is often because the abuser has past childhood wounds and insecurities that are still fresh, mostly because they were abused themselves.
Do not cope with an emotionally abusive relationship. At the end of the day, it is never worth it.
Emotionally abusive relationships end up damaging your self-esteem and dignity. It often involves a consistent pattern of verbal attacks, threats, bullying, and unending criticism, using tools like manipulation, intimidation, and shaming.
In an emotionally abusive relationship, a form of deception is involved. This is because the victim usually would not see the experience as abusive. Coping mechanisms of denial are developed in order to subdue the attack.
However, the effects of long-term emotional abuse will cause emotional trauma and upheaval resulting in several dysfunctions and complications.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
Emotional abuse can be debilitating and traumatic. God wants you free from emotionally abusive relationships.
Look at the scriptures:
Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.
Psa 124:7 (KJV)
Now, let’s identify some sure signs that you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship.
1. Your Individuality is in question You are viewed as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual. Your opinions are disrespected and you are constantly reminded that without them, you are nothing. Your suggestions and ideas are trampled. When you find yourself in such, it is time to walk away.
2. Unending Chastisement You are corrected or chastised for your behaviors, almost all the time and publicly too. There is nothing you do that is right. Every word you speak is an error.
3. False Accusation You are dubbed “over-sensitive” in order that you can continue coping with the unending abuse and manipulations. You are constantly told to “grow up!”
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The eyes of my understanding are opened to see these signs.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 6:5 (KJV) Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every wrong relationship when you see these signs.
