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The issue above is one of the commonest statements of regret from the hundreds of people that I counsel.

“Pastor, he has changed…”

“Pastor, I never knew he was like this…”

“Pastor, before we got married, he was a leader in the fellowship, but now, he doesn’t go to church…”

“Pastor, during our courtship, he was so sweet, but now, he beats me up!

“Pastor, I never knew him because our courtship was a distant one…”

…And so on and so forth…

Well, what went wrong along the way?

Here are a few things to note.

1. There are pretenders out there.

There are people who will feign being in the faith just to get a ‘good’ girl that will not give them ‘problems’ in marriage. This is where Christian pre-marriage counseling comes in.

2. That you met somebody in church does not guarantee that he or she is a true child of God.

Anybody and everybody can attend church services for different purposes. Always seek counsel before you get involved with anybody.

3. Not everybody in the church setting is looking for God.

That is why phones and personal effects get missing in church. An angel didn’t steal them. They were stolen by people with whom you worship but with ulterior motives.

4. Let the leadership of the church be involved in your relationship and marriage.

There are some churches that have marriage guidance councils, these are not instituted to control you or spy into your private life but to guide you appropriately. Let your pastor be in the know. This is important because the pastor usually knows the committed ones and those who are insincere to an extent.

5. Learn all you can learn.

Get marriage tips and free Christian advice online. On KHC, for example, we offer free Christian advice for singles and married couples and you can get advice on marriage issues on our daily devotionals, and several other materials online. Don’t walk into a marriage ignorantly and so naïve that you fall for anything.

To be continued tomorrow…

I will not miss it in marriage.

Lord, help me to trust you.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Pray for insight

John 3

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