Men Need Acceptance While Women Need Attention. Nobody enters marriage with the intention of divorcing, but along the line, there is a disconnection and couples have crises.
Men and women are different species if I can use that term. That’s why it becomes absolutely necessary for them to study and learn about each other’s world.
God has put so much investment into marriage. The first institution that God created was marriage. He made Adam a husband and a father. Marriage was the first institution before any other institution
We have successful lawyers, businessmen, and doctors, who have spent years before becoming what they are while not succeeding in their marriage because they failed to learn about marriage.
Men’s number one need is Acceptance. Women, never confront your husband. Men are warriors and fighters by nature. If you confront him, he will resist you, instinctively because the warrior in him will rise up.
When you accept him, he knows you are for him. You are an ally, not an enemy.
Women, when you want to get your husband to change don’t confront him. The direct correction will not work. He is not your child which you correct. You are to love your husband and you are to correct your children.
The rule is to accept your man, don’t confront him.
For example, if your husband dresses roughly, don’t tell him he dresses roughly and he needs to change. Tell him he is a very handsome guy and that he will even look better when he wears complimentary colours and dress sharp. He gets the message or better still, find a time he is more relaxed and tell him he looks finer with colours that match.
Women like to fix things, please don’t try to fix your man. Accept and celebrate him. Men Need Acceptance While Women Need Attention
On the other hand, women need attention. Your wife needs attention. Everything she does, the hair she makes, the cloth she wears, everything is to get your attention. Notice her, verbalize the fact that you notice her. Don’t ignore your wife. Be the first to notice what she’s wearing and comment. Notice when she makes a new hairstyle and make comments.
Tell her she is beautiful and gorgeous. Be tender towards her like you will do to a baby. Shower her with attention, don’t neglect her for another lady. It’s a No, No. Don’t show another female more attention than you show your wife, under any circumstances.
Couples, learn this about each other and make necessary adjustments.
Your marriage will thrive. Men Need Acceptance While Women Need Attention
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I accept my husband. I give my undivided attention to my wife
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father help me to realize that men and women are different. Grant me wisdom in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5: 33.….husbands love your wives, wives respect your husbands
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be mindful of accepting your husband and giving attention to your wife
Understanding Timing In Marriage. I once listened to a message by Bishop T.D Jakes titled, “Timing Is Everything.”
Sometimes what makes one thing bad and the same thing good is just about timing. What makes words spoken to a loved one good, bad or hurting beyond how it is spoken, is timing.
As husbands and wives, we have to study and understand proper timing. A good and skillful wife understands and uses the concept of timing to her advantage.
Women have great power and influence because they were created by God to be needed by men. God made man in Genesis 2, after He had made animals, plants, sun, and moon, He said it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper meet for him.
Men are not good (according to God’s standards without their wives).
Women are not just gifted more than men and extremely sophisticated, they are very much needed by men. Their make determines their functionality. Every woman is made and created to nurture and carry babies. God trusted women with the next generation.
Women are so much valuable in men’s life.
They have to understand this and carry themselves with this mentality. Wives, you have to defend your value.
You have the responsibility of ensuring you are not devalued for any reason. The value you place on yourself will determine the value placed on you. Have you ever seen a buyer paying more than the value placed on the commodity? Never, the buyer pays the value placed on the commodity.
The wife’s power of influence works better when the right timing is put into consideration.
The concept of right timing when put to use by the couple makes to things work better in the marriage.
Eccl 3:1 There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
A right time for birth and another for death, A right time to plant and another to reap, A right time to kill and another to heal, A right time to destroy and another to construct, A right time to cry and another to laugh,
Understanding Timing In Marriage is crucial for knowing the right time to doing things as couples.
It becomes the wrong timing for the wife to make her grievances known to her husband when he is already feeling down. Men are territorial beings and will like to be in charge and in control. So telling your husband, you are not happy about something automatically puts his defence up.
Husbands, it becomes wrong timing for you not to consider the fact that your wife is an emotional being and sermonize her over a mistake she is already sorry about.
As couples let us be mindful of the things we do or don’t do considering whether it’s the right timing or not.
Our marriage will thrive!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have understanding of the right time and seasons in my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me wisdom to consider the right timing before acting in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eccl 3:1 There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Consider the timing before acting. You don’t act out your feelings everytime
The Ten Commandments For Lovers. If the 10 commandments were written in the contemporary world, specifically for lovers, what would they look like? Let’s delve into it this morning!
The is not an attempt to change the ten commandments, no those are sacrosanct. This is just a creative way to apply them to our love life and creatively learn from them.
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. This is the first of the ten commandments for lovers. This means you should not double-date. Don’t add another bone to the bone God has given you. Set your face like a flint and concentrate on your partner. One god is good enough in God’s injunctions. Even the traditionalist are focused.
One guy in Abuja and another in Lagos while going out with both is not God’s idea. One babe in Canada and the other in Nigeria, while professing love to both at the same time is never the style of the kingdom.
One young man to supply gadgets and an elderly rich man to supply cash is trying to eat your cake and have it. These actions are strange to the kingdom!
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image This is the second of the ten commandments for lovers. This means don’t idolize anything, including your relationship. Not your family, not your career, not your friends. Your walk with God should not suffer because you fell in love. Your lover should not become a graven image to replace God.
In your attempt to do that, you may end up losing that lover. God is to be worshipped, your lover is to be loved, don’t get it twisted. Your lover is never to be worshipped. Your lover cannot be your god.
You fell in love and you stopped reading your Bible? It’s not a good idea. Thinking all day about your lover has replaced meditation in God’s word. Not cool at all.
You used to send scriptures that bless you to friends, now you are sending pictures; nude pictures to your lover! That contravenes the kingdom lifestyle!
I will stop here this morning. To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am focused on my relationship.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to focus on my partner.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 50:7 (KJV) For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out all the good things in your partner.
Wives, Appreciate your husband’s efforts. This morning I will like to write specially to the wives.
Good women could be frustrating their husbands’ efforts not because they are wicked but because they don’t know.
Men and women are so differently wired and that’s why it becomes important to learn about the different ways they are wired.
Women’s brains are like spaghetti, so they have things mixed up and jumbled up. Men’s brains on the other hand are like rice. Men separate issues and have the ability to treat events separately. Women, because of the way their brains are wired are tempted to give wrong, discouraging, and demoralizing vibes, when their husbands are trying to make efforts in pleasing them if something else is going wrong in other aspects.
A wife will not appreciate her husband’s good deeds if he fails in certain other areas. For example, she will not appreciate her husband’s hard work in providing for the family, if he criticizes her.
Women are giving to details. So they tend to focus on the little details not working. This could mean women are petty. Wives, Appreciate your husband’s efforts
If their husbands are putting 95% effort into pleasing them and 5% is not working. They tend to put their attention on the 5% not working.
The key here is to put your attention on the aspect where your husband is doing well and praise him. Praise him for the 95% or 5% as the case may be. He will get so excited and intoxicated with the praise that he will want to do more and better in those areas you want him to change.
Men will run from situations that make them feel pressured. They will rather stay where they are celebrated, that’s why men stay where they perform better eg their works.
So wives, my advice this morning is to celebrate your husband’s little effort in pleasing you, make a big deal of it and just hint at those areas you want him to improve on.
If you follow your natural wiring of focusing on details, you will keep demoralizing your husband. Praise him when you feel like complaining.
Your marriage will thrive. Wives, Appreciate your husband’s efforts
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am appreciative of who God has given to me as my husband. I celebrate all his effort in pleasing me.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me wisdom and understanding concerning my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to appreciate your husband’s effort to please you.
How To Have A Blast and Still Be Blessed. Sally and George were so deeply in love! However, George wanted Sally to do certain things for him which were like crossing the red line for Sally. Sally was caught in the middle. She so much loved George but she also adored God. It was a tug of war between the flesh and the spirit.
Can one really have a blast and still be blessed? Yeah, right! You can have a blast and still be blessed in your relationship! You can have a blast in your relationship without displeasing God or losing His favour in the process.
Sally was confused. She wept severally because she loved George and she loved God. She knew she had to drop one. It was a hard decision for her. The thought of dropping George seemed suicidal. The thought of dropping God is pure hell. What would she do?
As she sat in my office seeking counsel, I had compassion for her. I knew what to tell her, but I prayed for a pearl of wisdom for the right vehicle for my words to avoid a destiny accident. Love issues can be very tricky!
“Pastor, what should I do?” I looked at her. Her mien was that of one who knows what to do but lacks the strength to do so.
“Have you been sexually involved?” I asked her
She hesitated. Her head bowed, her countenance taking a duck, I knew the answer right away!
Sheepishly, she said “Yes Pastor, but we asked for forgiveness!”
“I am not here to condemn you daughter” I chipped in so that guilt will not convolute the conversation and the devil will not explore that loophole.
“It was only five times,” she said,
“Okay, my daughter.”
“You are in a battle between your soul and your flesh. The flesh wants George. Your soul needs God. The confusion is there because there has been a compromise. Every time there is a compromise, the soul gets confused.
“Think about this daughter. George is the lover of your flesh. God is the lover of your soul. To know what to do, you have to get into your spirit. The struggle is real but the truth is there.
Gal 5:17a (MKJV For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh.
Don’t be in a rush. God is not an author of confusion. Take some time and have a sincere conversation with God. I don’t want to call it prayer. Just talk to God. From your spirit, your belly, in your knower, you will know the truth, and when you know what to do, however painful it might seem, take that decision.
Let me warn you, emotionally, it won’t be easy, but eternally, it will be a blessing!
Remember this, God knows best! He will never lead you wrong and He will never abandon you!” The safest place to be is God’s side! This is How To Have A Blast and Still Be Blessed
“Thanks, Pastor.”
As she stood up to leave, I added, “I think the greatest misery a person can find himself is to seek pleasing his lover while displeasing God. Things are going to get awry quickly.
“I understand sir,” she said.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not disappoint God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to the needful and not just listen my flesh
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 5:16-17 (MKJV) I say, then, Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. [17] For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh. And these are contrary to one another; lest whatever you may will, these things you do.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide for God, and not for your flesh!
Three Things Women Want In Their Husbands. One of the first commandments of marriage is ‘selflessness’. You will find happiness if you make your spouse’s happiness your priority. Husbands, if you truly love your wife, you will want to meet her needs.
Women have many needs but in today’s devotional, I will write about three of those needs.
Three Things Women Want In Their Husbands 1. Affection The Webster dictionary defines affection as “a feeling of liking and caring for someone or something : tender attachment : fondness”
Women love it when their husbands are fond of them. Husbands can show affection to their wives in a number of ways. The baseline is whatever you do in loving your wife, be thoughtful of her. Like her person and genuinely care for her and about her.
Let her know you are proud of being her husband. That you are proud of her, you genuinely value her contributions and opinions in your life.
Tender touches also show your affection towards her, public displays of affection (PDA), like holding her hands, smiling, and looking into her eyes are some other displays of fondness.
2. Meaningful Conversations Women love talking. Even for the introversive ones, she will still long to express herself by having meaningful conversations with her husband.
Meaningful conversations like what her desires are, her aspirations, her opinions, and her vulnerability are all that make for meaningful conversations for her. It’s important for a wife to be vulnerable to her husband.
It is a turn-off to conversations when the husband does not listen to understand his wife, and they can’t have a mature conversation.
Couples will always be different and so will have different opinions.
When husbands tune off, wives often feel they don’t care. Strong relationships are built on deep and meaningful conversations and real communication.
So if your wife says she wants to talk, switch off the TV, put your phone aside and give her your undivided attention.
3. Family Commitment Women need to feel secured. One of the ways she feels secured is when the wife knows that her husband is committed to her and her children completely.
Be Committed to your family by putting them first place in your thoughts, and decisions and being considerate of their welfare and happiness.
Let your wife see how important your family is to you. Love your children and be committed to them
Whether your marriage is on the rocks or strong as nails, it will absolutely benefit from examining these needs and applying them to your marriage. Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself.
Your marriage will thrive! There are the Three Things Women Want In Their Husbands
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my wife. I am affectionate towards her. I meet her needs for meaningful conversations and I am committed to our family.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Let the love of God be shed abroad in my heart towards my wife
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY In any case, as for you individually, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and wives should respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:33 CEB
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be affectionate and love your wife genuinely. Be committed to your family and have meaning conversions with your wife
Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship. Sandy and George fought all through their relationship! It lasted three years and there was not one week stretch without some heartache.
They got used to such heartaches till they thought it was normal. They got involved in many wrong things in their bid to have a nice time. And at the end of the day, they still broke up as a result of constant ceaseless series of quarrels and heartaches.
Well, I am here to tell you this morning, decide to enjoy yourself in that love story!
Quickly, I want to tell you how to enjoy your relationship and of course, how not to enjoy the relationship.
Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship!
How To Enjoy Your Relationship
1. Let the foundation of your relationship be God’s word. Whatever is opposed to God’s word, don’t do it.
Rom 14:23b (KJV) …for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.
2. Have a mutual mentor/pastor you are both talking to. There will be things that are beyond you and your saving grace will be that there is someone you can talk to.
3. Create a balance between faith and fun. The Cinemas are good, but make sure there are Bible studies too. The ice cream is okay but ensure you have time for fasting together. Balance is key.
How NOT to enjoy your relationship.
Sex should be out of the picture. This will eventually bring agony to the heart because you will lose God’s favour when you stay in disobedience. This will not be your portion in Jesus’ name.
2. Staying over the night in your lover’s place, playing a small Mummy role, and so on is not the way to go. In the kingdom, we don’t do such things. Continually spending nights together when you are not yet married will get you into unnecessary troubles.
3. Being in love or relationship with a person and keeping it secret already is symptomatic of serious issues. When you are disenfranchised from people and from authority figures because you are in love, you will suffer alone and have nobody to talk to during the day when the storms arise.
I am going to stop here this morning! Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will enjoy my relationship
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, keep me from falling. Hold me by the hand in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:23b (AMPC) For whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is sin [whatever is done without a conviction of its approval by God is sinful].
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Stop those things that will not work eventually
Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage. Sade is such a sweet lady who met Bode, a charming handsome guy. It was love at first, second and third sights! They fell in love like their love story was written from heaven itself.
Their courtship was short because they were both nearing their thirties. They were the quintessential couple, serving it hot for their teeming followers on Instagram.
They were so much in love or so it seemed. After the wedding, and just a few months after, several issues emanated and both of them were wondering where they found themselves.
They both had traveling baggage that they brought into the marriage! Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage!
People whose baggage are traveling bags, seem like they have no issues, but the reality is that they have mastered the art of tucking away their weakness for months at a time.
Just like you don’t travel every day, they don’t show their issues every time. But seasonally, their “demons” come to the fore and seek to scatter things!
As soon as the imbroglio is settled, there would seem to be peace, but it would be short-lived. After some months, the problem rares its head again. It becomes frustrating because it would now seem the issues is there to be managed for life.
Jesus did not call you to manage problems and carry your baggage all through life.
He issues an eternal invitation and asks that you come for rest!
Are you tired from this load? Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage!
Mat 11:28 (CEV) If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest.
Talk to Jesus now, and He would surely give you rest!
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have rest from all troubles in Jesus’ name
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to see what I need to work on by your grace
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:28 (GNB) “Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Empty your handbag at the foot of the cross
Couples – 3 Things Men Want in Their Wives. The first one is Respect
Men thrive better in marriage when their wives trust and respect them. I believe it is not just a need but how men are wired. They are wired to love and respond to respect.
You can make respect a priority in your marriage consciously. Your husband will always sense your attitude of respect. Respect in words and actions even in the very little things can make your husband calm and not uptight or harsh. With our soft answers, we can make them feel great.
Wives, be wise, don’t answer your husbands with a disrespectful tone or body language.
When he knows he has a wife that respects and celebrates his opinions he won’t want to exert his headship.
I guess it makes them feel on top of the world. You know like the feeling of being a king.
As the children grow, it is also essential to teach them and show them by example how to respect the man of the house.
The Bible also gives clear instructions, not a suggestion to wives to respect their husbands in Ephesians 5:33b CEV translation “…and wives should respect their husbands.“
Respect can be expressed in so many ways. Ask your own husband how he will like you to respect him. Since respect means different things to different people.
2. Intimacy
Men love it when they know that their wives are devoted to them. All men love it when you touch them. So, don’t allow the day to pass without your rubbing your husband’s back, or head, giving him a hug, a kiss, cuddling when watching a movie, or cuddling in bed. Just touch everywhere and anywhere. He is your husband.
Every Husband wants to know they are attracted to their wives physically. So initiate sex Let your husband know that he is the best and that he is still the handsome guy you fell in love with.
Share deep thoughts and feelings with him. Be vulnerable and let your husband know how you feel about issues and communicate without inhibitions.
3. Appreciation
Men do a lot in terms of keeping the family together especially good men. Being a good husband, father and a good provider is not an easy task. This is one of the 3 Things Men Want in Their Wives
So your husband will do well with some praise and appreciation
Be generous with your appreciation and praise. Don’t just appreciate your husband in your thoughts and in your heart. Learn to verbalize your appreciation. Say thank you, to your husband for helping out around the house. Don’t take those things for granted.
Say thank you for every little thing he does. Be quick to notice little and big gestures. Let them be big deals to you. Thanking your husband is very powerful, little wonder it’s one of the magic words
Celebrate his success and achievement. Be passionate about his work or job. Thank him for his effort, hard work, and diligence.
Let your husband be sure of your praise if any other person doesn’t praise him.
Leave short notes for him, letting him know how much you appreciate him.
Don’t focus on things you don’t have or the things he doesn’t do. Focus on the things he does and he will do more. It is a law, what you focus on becomes bigger and of course, he will also get better at being a good husband. These are the 3 Things Men Want in Their Wives.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a good wife. I focus on meeting the needs of my husband always. I am not weary of doing good.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I ask for grace to be a doer of what my husband needs in Jesus mighty name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY In any case, as for you individually, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and wives should respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:33 CEV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Respect your husband, appreciate and be intimate with him
How To Enter Into A Rhythm of Favour . Oh, what would it be like to have streams of favour uninterrupted in one’s life, relationship and work?
Did the scripture promise something like that? Can it possibly be our reality?
Well, let’s take a look at the scriptures!
Mat 11:29 (MSG) Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
The Message Translation of Matt 11:29 captures the essence of today’s devotional.
There is a rhythm of grace! An unforced rhythm of favour that makes life easy!
The word “rhythm” means “a strong, regular repeated pattern”
I pray for you today, God will bring you into a strong regular, repeated pattern of favour in Jesus’ name!
According to the scripture above, There are four things you are to do that will lead you into this rhythm
How To Enter Into A Rhythm of Favour 1. Walk 2. Work 3. Watch 4. Learn
There is a WALK and there is WORK! There is time spent with Him to WATCH Him and LEARN! When you do this, you will come into repeated pattern of favour!
Enoch walked with God and we know his testimonies. Jesus worked with God and we know what happened. Jesus said we should “Watch” and pray and he also said we should “Learn” of Him
As you begin to spend more time with God and His word, I pray that you will come into a strong, regular repeated pattern of God’s favour in Jesus’ name! This is How To Enter Into A Rhythm of Favour Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I walk, work, watch and learn of Him
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to walk and work with you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:29 (AMPC) Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to practice His presence today
Sleep Through The Storms In Your Marriage. Jesus provides us as believers so many weapons to use to have victory in life. One thing is sure, we always have one hundred percent victory, a hundred percent of the time especially in our marriage.
It is so beautiful being a child of God. You are just assured that you are an overcomer. Hallelujah. Whether in marriage, on your job, over your health finances, children, or your emotional life, your total victory is guaranteed.
This is the confidence we have in him, that our faith overcomes every situation and challenge. Will you also exercise this faith you already possess as a believer? Sleep Through The Storms In Your Marriage
We face different situations, and in all of these, the Holy Spirit tells us which weapon to use. Whether it is to give a shout of praise, laugh, dance, worship, engage in spiritual warfare, fast and pray, give, or even sleep. Yes, I mean sleep, (rest). But you can’t sleep in the storm if you don’t know the God you believe in.
If you don’t know God and what He has said, there is no way you can sleep. When your children are ill, when your spouse is wayward, when you don’t have money in your pocket, you can’t sleep. Without knowing God’s promise, you will worry yourself sick.
Jesus was sleeping in the boat during a storm.
Mark 4:37-39 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
As we take God at His word, stand on it, declare it (until the reality hits us) and we believe that He can never lie. We trust Him in the midst of whatever storm we face, knowing He is right by our sides. Sleep Through The Storms In Your Marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a Word chaser. My soul pants after your word, as the deer pants for the water brooks
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Help me to hunger and thirst for you Word, oh Lord.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mark 4:37-39 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study God’s word daily and get to know Him.
What Type of Baggage Are You Carrying? Sandy had been in four relationships and each time, she was sure she was going to walk down the aisle. But to her consternation, one thing or the other will crop up and there would always be a break-up!
She prayed and prayed. At some time, she thought she had been cursed. When God would have mercy on her and answer her prayers, she noticed that she had a lot of things going on in her thought life, she discovered she had fears and she was able to see it was her past that was stretching forth its hands like a monster and obfuscating the future.
There are four types of relationship baggage we may be carrying at one point or the other. Let’s quickly take a look at one of them
What Type of Baggage Are You Carrying? The Handbag Baggage This isn’t much of a bag, Huh? Well. That’s exactly where the problem is. It’s a handbag, but it can hold some loaded pistols that can unleash havoc in moments. The handbag folk believes they don’t have many problems to deal with simply because their issues can be neatly tucked away.
These type of people carry their issues anywhere they are going like you carry a handbag and can “manifest” anytime! They believe my issues are there but they are manageable!
Such people are really nice and cute until you take a peep into the handbag and then the content therein might not be as cute as the container.
God doesn’t want us to live forever with “small issues” because that is the foundation for the big issues.
Small anger, but can leave tears and wail on its trails. Of recent, a lady set her husband on fire and then killed herself because she suspected her husband was cheating!
These are handbag types of issues. These issues come out under pressure!
Jesus did not call for big problems and issues alone.
It was a general invitation!
Mat 11:28 (KJV) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
A handbag can be a heavy load!
Why don’t you respond to the call today? Give Him that bag and let Him bring you into a place of healing and strength! What Type of Baggage Are You Carrying?
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have rest from all troubles in Jesus’ name
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, open my eyes to see what I need to work on by your grace
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:28 (AMPC) Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Empty your handbag at the foot of the cross
This sounds like a preaching topic on a Sunday morning service. But we can also apply this to our marriage. We can’t separate our lives as Christians from our marriage. We have a Christian marriage because we first of all live the Christian life.
We have an enemy, an accuser, an adversary, the one who hates us with perfect hatred, the one who comes to steal everything good in our lives, he seeks to kill everything alive and seeks to destroy everything that gives us joy.
Look into your marriage, are there things that make you happy, that give you joy? Are there things you are grateful to God for, things that you are excited about?
Know that the devil is working over time, and he desires to put an end to your joy. But thank God for His Mercy, He will never allow this to happen.
Ps 94:17 KJV Unless the LORD had been my help, My soul had almost dwelt in silence.
We are all recipients of God’s mercies. We should never take these mercies for granted.
In learning to cooperate with God in other to get His will totally done and manifested in our lives, we have to be obedient to whatever He asks us to do.
One such instruction is ‘Go Ahead And Laugh at the Devil’. This may sound strange but it is an ‘act’ of faith. How can I laugh at the devil? When he is throwing ‘fiery darts’ at me? I don’t know whether it’s the fire of the dart to deal with first or the pain of the dart.
Sometimes it could be overwhelming. When you are like that, just laugh out loud!
You know God told the children of Israel to look at a brazen serpent hanging on a pole when they were bitten by real serpents. It looks ridiculous, but that is where their victory lies.
God will never ask anything that is not an act of faith and that He Himself has not done before.
Ps 2:1-2, 4 KJV Why do the heathen rage, And the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, Against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying, He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: The Lord shall have them in derision
God Himself laughed at the devil and his cohorts (the heathen that imagine a vain thing against the Lord).
So instead of giving the devil attention, complaining, arguing, murmuring, getting frustrated, depressed, or downcast, just give out a good laugh.
First, the devil will be confused. Then he will flee. Light and darkness can’t stay together, darkness has to bow and go.
One of the surest ways to get the devil off your back fast is when you do the opposite of what he expects.
Sometimes he even expects us to be binding and loosing, sweating with unbelieving prayers. Just act out in faith. Do the extraordinary and laugh.
In famine and in war, you shall laugh. He has put laughter in your mouth so laugh.
Glory to God.
Go Ahead And Laugh at the Devil
May the sound of rejoicing and laughter never cease from your home and marriage
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God has already given me the victory so I can laugh at the devil
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Keep my eyes on your finished work Lord
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ps 2:1-2, 4 KJV Why do the heathen rage, And the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, Against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying, He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: The Lord shall have them in derision
There are three things I said yesterday that you can do when he or she is insisting.
1. Make it clear 2. Be accountable 3. Ask questions
This is Part two. We started on this yesterday! If you missed it, read it HERE. What more can you do when He is insisting?
The fourth thing you can do if the insistence will not stop is to discontinue the relationship. The continual insistence and stubborn posture to what is clearly wrong can be a symptom of a deeper issue.
You see, most of the issues you will confront in marriage would all be glaring for you to see as singles! But what do we do most times? We close our eyes to the obvious signs and bury ourselves in the mire of love. As they say, love is a blinder, but marriage is an eye opener.
Pastor, why would I stop something I have invested so much in? How will I cope with a broken heart?
Well, a broken heart is better than a broken life! There is no point in getting married to someone who outright disobeys or disregards God’s word. One of the ways you will know if a man or woman will respect you is if such a person respects God!
Anybody who doesn’t respect God, who is nonchalant at the things of God, will lack the capacity to respect you or value your person.
Especially if he or she is threatening you to break up if you don’t yield to the request! Don’t beg! And don’t yield under pressure because you want to keep the relationship.
Let Him Go When He is Stubborn! Hear this, you cannot keep or preserve anything of worth with the vehicle of compromise and disobedience. It has never worked and will never work!
It is better to walk away from compromise than to preserve it and nurture it.
Let Him Go When He is Stubborn! Don’t be like Esau!
Heb 12:16 (KJV) Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.
The Message Translation explains better:
Heb 12:16 (MSG) Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite.
Remember, whatever you cooperate with now is a subtle acceptance of such like eventually in marriage!
I pray God will give you more understanding! Be blessed today!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to compromise!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me your wisdom in my relationship
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 12:16 (AMPC) That no one may become guilty of sexual vice, or become a profane (godless and sacrilegious) person as Esau did, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. [Gen 25:29-34]
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read a book on relationships
We will be concluding this topic today and this is Part 3
Yesterday we looked at the second thing that will Sustain you in marriage, which is
2. Discover yourself ( if you missed this, check it HERE).
Things That Will Sustain You In Marriage
3. Discover your purpose.
This is very much similar to the discovery of your Person. It is after you have discovered your person that you can embark on the journey to discover your purpose.
When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. The purpose of anything determines its function. When your purpose is known, greatness is inevitable because you can move faster to get things done.
Imagine if you have a washing machine and you don’t know what it’s used for. You still take out all your family clothes outside to wash with your hands. What a waste of time and energy.
Fulfillment and joy in life are some dividends of discovering your purpose. There is an inner joy that comes to your life, which your spouse can’t give you knowing you are doing exactly what you have been created to do.
Many spouses are unhappy because they are not doing what they were created to do. Many husbands and wives are doing jobs that are just stressing their lives. They experience burn out and their loved ones partake of their burnout.
Your wife can only help you fulfill the assignment you are aware God gave you.
Your purpose is to be discovered, not decided by you. You don’t decide what you are created to be. Your purpose predates your existence.
Discovery of your purpose is one of the Things That Will Sustain You In Marriage. Our purpose was already determined before God formed us.
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. Jeremiah 1:5 KJV
Your Marriage has a purpose. You didn’t just get married to have sex, give birth to babies, have a nice job, live in a fine house, and use bone straight weave on.
This journey to discover purpose is done as you seek God. He is the creator of your life and your marriage. He knows your specific purpose.
Go to His word and seek His face in prayer. Be sincere and intentional, and He will reveal your purpose to you.
Some indications can help in your discovery of purpose. What do you naturally like doing? What are your gifts? What are the things you do without effort?
Take time and discover your purpose.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God created me for a purpose. He doesn’t created without a purpose. I have open eyes and I discover my purpose
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, cause the eyes of my understanding to be flooded with light, that I may discover my purpose in life in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. Jeremiah 1:5 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask God to reveal your purpose and that of your marriage to you.
Ps 103:1 AMP BLESS (AFFECTIONATELY, gratefully praise) the Lord, O my soul; and all that is [deepest] within me, bless His holy name!
2. Father, in the name of Jesus fill every shouter with the spirit of the fear of the Lord, so that we can continue to enjoy the favor of God in our lives
Gen 39: 5,9 KJV And it came to pass from the time that he had made him overseer in his house, and over all that he had, that the LORD blessed the Egyptian’s house for Joseph’s sake; and the blessing of the LORD was upon all that he had in the house, and in the field.
3. Lord, let the eyes of every member of SGN be enlightened in Jesus name
Eph 1:18 KJV the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,
4. Father, in the name of Jesus, we decree divine lifting and promotions for every member of SGN
Psalm 75: 6-7 For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, Nor from the south. But God is the judge: He putteth down one, and setteth up another.
5. Father, let our love for You and your word be ever increasing in our hearts in Jesus name
John 14:21 KJV He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.
6. Father, we decree in the name of Jesus that your promise to us in SGN this year, to pursue, overtake and recover all be fulfilled
1 Samuel 30:8 KJV And David enquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all.
7. Father, we decree, our faith is ever increasing and we overcome every challenges in Jesus name
I John 5:4 KJV For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.
8. Thank God for answered prayers
Psalms 69:30 (KJV) I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving.
Confession
I boldly declare over us in SGN that we are men and women of faith. We have the God kind of faith. We win and overcome by faith. We experience victory in life by faith. There is divine liftings for us. The eyes of our understanding is flooded with light. We love and serve God. We fear the Lord and does His will in Jesus name.
