When you are falling in love, fall in love with some life! Don’t fall in love with a profile on social media. You may be disappointed. Don’t fall in love with a picture! You never know who you are dealing with!
Before you give your heart out, be sure you see the person you are dealing with, or else your heart can be wrenched apart!
“Pastor, it is not just a profile, I heard his voice!” It is still the same hopelessness, falling in love with a voice. Who owns the voice?
The rule of thumb is simple, never give any commitment to someone you have not seen.
If he is not committed to travel down to where you are, or he doesn’t have enough money to come or he doesn’t have the time, then he is not ready for marriage.
I know there can be situations when the persons are far away, probably in another country, then get family members who are around involved.
You cannot just fix a wedding date with somebody in Brazil and then travel there. I cannot recount how many have called me to talk about the greatest disappointments of their lives upon emptying their accounts and resigning from work to go and meet a guy somewhere who eventually turns out to be mentally imbalanced. A word is enough for the wise.
3. Don’t fall in love carelessly.
Don’t fall in love carelessly.
You met two hours ago. Now you are in bed! That is not love! That is lust and you are going to be dropped soonest like hot potatoes! The principles of God are being violated like that and you are not going to have His support.
The purpose of falling in love is not to take somebody to bed; it is to take somebody down the aisle. Jeru trap with someone will never be able to prove your love. They are just not the same, otherwise, the prostitute will fall in love with all her clients, but it never happens that way. Fall in love with care and caution!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
A lovely day it is to once again look into our topic, building a happy and lasting marriage.
It takes a conscious effort to build anything. Jesus showed us how to build. He says we must dig deep and lay the foundation on the rock, on solid principles that are void of sentiments. Build with godly principles that will outlive the test of time.
Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. – Luk 6:47- 48
5. Be polite to each other
This is very crucial if you must build a lasting marriage where both spouses are happy. Most of the time, the husband’s ego makes it difficult to be polite to his wife. He feels why should I say sorry, thank you, or please. If he says it at all, he does so once in a while.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
If the wife mentions it, he says ‘I am the husband’. In marriage, we don’t take each other for granted. Later than sooner, there will be reactions. Respect should be reciprocal.
6. Always listen attentively to your spouse.
Make it a habit to always listen when your spouse is talking. When the spouse senses that you are not listening, it gives a feeling he/she is not so important to you. You must make your spouse feel like they are the most important person in this world to you because really they are.
Stop looking at your phones, iPad, laptop or watching the news, or reading a book when your spouse is talking to you.
The best communication skill you can develop is listening. Be quiet and patient while your spouse is speaking and you can now express your opinion. Look straight into his/her eyes when he /she is talking to you. That will make them feel you are interested in what they have to say.
7. Communication
This is the key to your relationship. Talk like lovers and friends. Most couples have lost friendship and some were never friends. You need to make amends where necessary because you can’t build a lasting marriage where you are not each other’s friends.
Don’t grow apart. There should be no fear whatsoever in expressing yourself. Deal with the root of whatever is causing fear. Ask yourself; am I easy to talk with? Does my spouse find me easy to talk with? Don’t answer yourself, ask your spouse. Don’t let your spouse guess what you are thinking about.
I will stop here for now.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
Let’s pick up from where we stopped yesterday on lessons from the story of creation. I hope you really have been following these lessons and they have been very applicable in your daily lives.
See what God’s word says in Genesis 1:5 – 12 KJV
And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
5. God gave names to all the things he created.
This is a great lesson, from the creation, for us as children. It’s always important to name whatever you have, you know why?
It’s because they eventually become whatever you call it, and that’s also why your parents give you beautiful names because they want you to exhibit the meaning of what you are called.
6. During God instructed the earth to produce things.
As a child of God, you also should learn to command fruitfulness on all that belongs to you.
Like your school subjects, command it to be easy and learnable for you.
Say things like I am going to pass this so and so subject. Say the kind of results you expect from all that is placed in front of you.
7. Everything God did, He did in days.
Learn to plan your week just like God. He could have decided to make everything in one day, but he didn’t do that. He created the earth in six days and rested on the seventh day.
Have an activity per day. Don’t wind away your day without doing anything meaningful or worthwhile.
Dear Child of God, it’s God’s desire that you be just like him. Be diligent with these lessons and you’ll become exceptional just like God.
We will continue tomorrow
Prayer: Lord, teach me how to be creative like you. Amen
Action point: Be a person of order
Declaration: I am a person of order, just like my God.
Falling in love is a special experience, or so it is intended to be. But there are ways to fall in love. The foundation to falling in love the right way is to fall in love with God first. God, Himself is love and when you fall in love with Him, He will teach you and help you to understand what real love is.
God is the lover of your soul and He is your first true lover! Any attempt to ignore Him is at your own peril to your eventual love life. Without Him, you will never be able to know how to love and how to be loved. Here are a few ways not to fall in love.
1. Don’t fall in love secretly.
I have said it many times; a godly relationship is not a secret cult. It is not a fraternity between two people. If you like yourself and you will like to protect yourself, heed my advice this day by the Spirit of God; don’t fall in love with a closed-up person.
Let your friends know about it. Let your Pastor know about it. The moment he or she insists that nobody should know, that should be a red light for you. Why hide something that is meant to be good news?
When I asked my wife out while we were students at Ogun State University (now Olabisi Onabanjo University) and she said ‘Yes,’ I announced to all that cared to listen! It was a joyful experience for me as a twenty-four-year-old chap!
I later got married at twenty-seven years of age some three years later in 1999.
Are you in a relationship where nobody knows except the two of you? Why would that be? The risks are high! The first sign of commitment in a relationship that is intended to lead to marriage is that the authority figures in your life will be involved. While this may not totally ensure the success of the relationship, it goes a long way to validate the relationship.
For those who are married, ensure that you are accountable to a particular authority figure for counsel and wisdom as you navigate the terrain of the marital journey.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I will fall in love rightly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to get it right
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t fall in love secretly
We started this topic yesterday and we will continue today. Like I wrote before, I will take it slowly so that we can have ample time to discuss each point in-depth and we can meditatively make necessary adjustments in our marriage.
It is important that each husband and wife find time to discuss these practical steps. We have busy schedules but if we must build a happy and lasting marriage, we have to find the time. We find time for what is important.
Our marriage and family is the personal gift God has given us. He will ask us how we handled it and what we made out of it.
Let’s continue:
2. Be quick to forgive your spouse.
Marriage is two forgivers living together. Some spouses already have it in their mind some offense they can never forgive. Be quick to forgive and quick to apologize. Forgive and stop referring to past wrongdoings. Never go to bed angry or with unsettled quarrels because you have time to brood over it and the devil has the opportunity to magnify it. Love forgives. Learn to accept apologies.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Love the person you married.
This is as much an instruction to the husband as it is to the wife. You must love the person you married not the person you wished you married. This will eradicate all forms of the complaint. If you know you are married and as it were, you are stuck together for life, weakness, strength and all, instead of complaining and comparing your spouse, you will find a way to reach a compromise about each other weaknesses.
You cannot love the spouse you have not accepted. Love seeks to accept. Until you accept your spouse, you cannot get the best out of marriage. Accept each other but love each other enough not to leave him/her to minimize their weaknesses
4. Meet the needs of each other.
Be generous to your spouse and children. Let your spouse know you are on the top priority list after God the giver of life. Provide the needs of the children. Don’t spend money meant for the upkeep of the children. Your wife knows and is assured that you love her when you care for the children. There is a sense of security it gives her.
Provide for the needs of your wife. Your wife has a lot of needs. Be concerned about her needs. Spend to beautify her. Don’t hoard money from your wife. Discuss budget, savings and be as plain as you can be about money
God bless our marriage
May God grant us grace to do these things we are learning.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
A few days back, we talked about lessons from the story of creation. We talked about the power of words and how it’s important for you to speak the right words at all times.
We talked about the importance of light and how we need it, even in our daily lives. How it’s important to standout and be a problem solver.
We also talked about how God evaluated everything that was created and that he himself confirmed it was good. We learned that excellence is God’s style and we as his children should live with that standard.
Today we’ll be going further into the story of creation and picking out basic lessons from what God did.
Let’s read through verses 5-12 and see what we can learn.
And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good. Genesis 1:5 – 12 KJV
4. God is a God of Order.
After he made the two great lights, he placed one in the day and the one in the night.
As children of God, we should learn to bring order and arrangements to whatever we do.
Proper arrangements makes us different and it’s a good standard to show the world that we truly are of God.
Beyond the light, God worked on the water and the earth, he divided them beautifully such that one doesn’t interrupt the other.
Let’s continue with this tomorrow, there are still a lot to learn from the story of creation. Have a blessed day.
Prayer: Lord, teach me how to be creative like you. Amen
Action point: Be a person of order
Declaration: I am a person of order, just like my God
This is the concluding part of this series. If you missed any of the devotionals, go HERE
6. Deceptive Lovers
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out. Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious.
They are unapproachable and unreachable. Their self-deception becomes a wall that fences up their destinies.
But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth it wasting time on what would not work.
7. Unforgiving Lovers
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home and life. Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker.
If one of the couple is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier in resolving the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
Root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including the children defiled.
The way out! So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate.
Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective.
I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
I will be taking us on a series and I believe it will help our marriages. The points I will be sharing with us are from a Whatsapp post. I will not just be giving us points but will be taking out time to discuss the points and how it affects our marriage.
If you can also discuss these points with your spouse or in a small group as we do on KHC women whatsapp group, it will be more effective.
Why do we have to build a happy and lasting Marriage? Because like any institution, marriage has the capacity to become old and obsolete. It is our responsibility to build into our marriage values that will keep it renewed.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Like a machine, it has to be greased, oiled, serviced and its parts replaced or repaired. In marriage, no one knows it all. When the husband begins to think he is right all of the time and cannot be wrong, trouble is brewing.
We want to be sure the ingredients we are using to build our marriage can stand the test of time. We need to raise a standard of the blood of Jesus against all that is militating against our marriage, especially in this end times.
There are specific wisdom needed to build our homes and marriages which does not answer to the wisdom we have in business or in nation building or in leadership, although some principles do apply.
Let’s go into the points.
1. Understand each other.
This is huge in any marriage that will succeed and will last. It will be pride for a husband and wife to think that they know or fully understand their spouse.
Understanding your spouse is what you will never graduate from. Both spouses must be willing and ready to keep on understanding each other.
You are different and may never be the same forever. Respect the fact that you are individuals with strengths and weaknesses.
The marriage is as strong as you strengthen each other’s weaknesses when you respond and not react to each other.
Marriage is like the jigsaw puzzle, the puzzles are never the same but fit perfectly to form a beautiful picture which individually can never be formed.
I will stop here today. May God build with us and help us build lasting marriages in Jesus name. God bless our marriage
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
The Shepherd raced through the trees, his heart pulsating madly inside his chest heavily. Baa! Baa! The cry came again. He shoved branches out of his way, not caring if they pricked his skin. The cry was getting closer as he reached the edge of the stream. Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa!
“Where are you?” Deep fear flooded his heart, dragging life out of him but he refused to believe the worst. Baa! Baa! The cries came just in front of him. He looked and moved closer to the trees in front of him, there he found his little one.
He broke into a sob at the sight of the bruises on its legs. Lifting it up slowly, he tenderly wrapped his arms around the lamb and began to walk home. He was happy that the one missing lamb was found.
Did you see how the shepherd ran to the rescue of his sheep? Did you see how the shepherd followed the voice of the sheep? That is how God comes to your rescue when you call.
Call on Jesus for help. He is your Shepherd and ever ready to help you. There’s even a song describing the type of love God has for us. It goes like this
Oh, the overwhelming, Never-ending Reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights till I’m found Leaves the ninety-nine.
I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it. Still You give Yourself away
There’s no shadow You won’t light up Mountain You won’t climb up coming after me
There is no wall You won’t kick down Lie You won’t tear down Coming after me
God displays how much He loves us by going all the way to find us. Call out to Him today and let Him find you.
I myself will tend my sheep and give them a place to lie down in peace, says the Sovereign Lord. – Ezek. 34:15 NLT
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home.
Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments.
They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
They would make wrong decisions that are not founded on God’s word and of course, those decisions would not endure. They can also lose money based on their sentimental investments.
Sticking to God’s principles is difficult for these kinds of couples. They are unable to set their faces like a flint. They easily compromise based on their sentimental leanings.
To them, everything can be compromised as long as it appeals to their emotions.
5. Angry Lovers
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody that has anger problems and who refuses to work at it. An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
There were two brothers in the Bible who were both given to anger. Their story did not end well.
Simeon and Levi are brothers; tools of violence are their weapons. [6] Oh my soul, do not come into their secret. Let not my honor be united with their assembly. For in their anger they killed a man, and in their self-will they hamstrung a bull. – Gen 49:5-6 (MKJV)
Their father placed a curse on them as a result!
Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce, and their wrath, for it was cruel. I will divide them in Jacob and scatter them in Israel. – Gen 49:7 (AMPC)
That is where anger ends. Scattering! Division!
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word trust is defined as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.
Relationships have to be built on trust.
The very core, basis, and foundation of the marriage covenant is trust. Once the trust is ruptured, there is virtually nothing that can be done or said.
If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? – Psa 11:3
Once trust is broken for whatever reason, what is left is suspicion. Suspicion in marriage is so dangerous. It leaves either of the parties a victim in his/her own matrimonial home.
To be suspicious is, ‘causing one to have the idea or impression that someone or something is questionable, dishonest or dangerous.’
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
A marriage covenant is an oath or pledge between the couples to protect each other, help each other, defend each other, fight for each other, stand by each other, and much more.
In a covenant, the husband and wife are pledging to each other that your strength becomes my strength and your weaknesses become my weaknesses. I fight to defend your cause and I fight against your enemies. Your enemies are my enemies and your friends my friends.
Little wonder when God was cutting a covenant with Abraham he said
And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed. – Gen 12:3
When there is suspicion, the very foundation for the marriage covenant is broken.
When a husband or wife fails to trust his spouse, he may also have trust issues with God.
Lack of trust may be borne out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of losing your spouse, fear of infidelity, insecurities,
Another reason why suspicion is dangerous is that according to Job, what you fear, your open the door for the enemy to afflict. You literally open up your marriage to be oppressed by the devil.
For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. – Job 3:25
Another basis for suspicion is a lack of genuine love and forgiveness. When you find it difficult to forgive whole-heartedly. You hold on to the past and make that the basis of your conduct in marriage.
To enjoy your marriage and to experience your strengths being multiplied, you need to trust one another and lift up each other in prayers.
It is my prayer that the Lord help us all to uproot seeds of suspicion in our marriages.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I trust my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to trust my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to show genuine love to your spouse.
Dear children, there are several lessons you can learn from the story of creation.
The creation story can be found in
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. – Genesis 1:1-4
Let’s go through it one after the other.
1. The power of words.
God created this beautiful world by speaking it into existence. Learn to use your words positively.
There is power in your words, so use it as a creator, just like God.
2. God called forth Light first.
This means that it’s one of the most important things in this world. You know how you feel when light brightens a dark room?
The Bible calls us the light of the world. Be the light wherever you find yourself. Solve problems. Standout and make a difference.
3. God saw that what he had done was good.
Always evaluate yourself when you do something, and always aim for the best.
As a child of God, we are to act like our father, so we shouldn’t do anything less than excellent.
We will continue on this line tomorrow.
Prayer: Lord help me to be creative with my words. Amen
The second group is made up of those who may be believers but whose minds are not renewed. The only thing is that they already have a relationship with God, but apart from that, they are still carnal.
They still do their stuff like unbelievers would do. They still want to have fun in forbidden areas and they still want to explore the perverse, which would often come with dire consequences.
My advice for couples in this group is that they seek help as soon as possible.
They don’t see anything wrong with pornography, masturbation, and sleeping with each other. They believe some grace will cover their habitual sexual sins.
They go to church and profess to be born again but their lifestyles and actions are an embarrassment to Christ that they profess.
A carnal brother will beat his wife and justify it with scriptures. A carnal sister will dabble into affairs, especially emotional affairs which may be taken to the next level.
Don’t walk down the aisle with a carnal believer. There will be too many things to manage to the point you would even wish you had married an unbeliever instead!
3. Unbelieving and believing Lovers
Here is another scenario that doesn’t always play out well, except with a lot of patience, prayers, and perseverance. I always advise singles, don’t think of getting married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God. It would always be filled with challenges that you might have to fight alone because you are not agreed with your choice of weapons.
You want to pray, but he or she thinks you are just being fanatical. That can be very disconcerting, to say the least. It is always a good combo when both are agreed and are going in the same direction in terms of belief systems and practices.
Your greatest influence is always your spouse. An unbeliever doesn’t see anything wrong in doing drugs, cheating, stealing, violence, and some other ills. How would all these be handled?
The believer who is married to an unbeliever and who cannot persevere or be patient or prayerful will end up frustrated and a loser in that relationship.
The believer can even end up in an adulterous mess in his or her bid to retaliate or get back at the unbelieving lover who is full of atrocities.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to the realities of life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 14:17 [KJV]For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
There are some things every couple must not joke with in the marriage. They must constantly ensure these things are present in their marriage no matter what happens.
Marriage is for two mature people that are whole. Each person brings his or her wholeness to the marriage to form a whole marriage.
In the natural, it is half plus half that makes whole but in a godly marriage, the equation is different. It is whole plus whole that makes one or whole. In fact, it is whole plus whole plus God that makes a whole entity in marriage.
So let’s look into these few things.
1. Agreement
Do two walk together except they make an appointment and have agreed? – Amo 3:3
There must be an agreement between the couple. They must ensure they always come to a place of agreement. It takes a lot of maturity, respect, and understanding to do that.
I remember when my husband first told me we will be praying online every day 5:30 am to 6:00 am. On that first morning, my body wanted to resist. I had to put my body under and be in agreement for us to do the will of God. And now my body clock has adjusted.
In such a way, we must be in agreement so we can achieve great feats in our lives.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
2. Effective Communication
Your relationship started in the first place because you were able to effectively communicate to your lady that you love her and that you want her to marry you. You made your intentions known to her.
This communication must be an essential tool throughout your marriage and you must be skillful in using it.
Both men and women need to be skillful in communicating. Timing is also important in communication. There are certain times to say certain things. There is the best time when your husband will listen to what you have to say.
There is also the ‘how’, talking about the presentation of what you have to say. There is always a better way to arrange your points, especially if your husband is pretty smart, intelligent, and not too patient. You want to present the most important issues first and sandwich it with accolades.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am in agreement with my spouse in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
There are couples that are sitting on a keg of powder
As singles and married couples, you are to deliberately work things out in your relationship or marriage and with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the scripture says:
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12 KJV)
In a relationship and or marriage, you are to work things out. A relationship or courtship does not lead to marriage automatically. You are to work things out in your disposition, attitude, and reactions.
A marriage does not just succeed; you are to work things out between yourselves.
Now there are some couple combinations that are sure to crack along the way. When you find yourself in these spots, you need to seek help prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom to address the lurking issues. Here are those combinations:
1. Unbelieving Lovers
Two people who are unbelievers may love themselves, may be committed to each other, but when the storms of life come, they will fight their battles alone and you know, some of those battles can be very fierce. They will not have God’s support since they don’t have a relationship with God. They will not have the benefit of sonship and it can be very intense!
They need to connect with God!
Do not fall in love with an unbeliever! The consequences may be debilitating.
Who will they consult in the day of trouble? They will try herbalists and the occult which would plunge them further into the abyss.
Their options are many but shallow. God is the unfathomable one in whom all possibilities lie. He is the merciful God that shields, protect, directs, instructs, heals, and does so many things. A life, marriage, and home devoid of God will dissipate into nothingness in no time.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to the realities of life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 14:17 [KJV]For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
I promised to write on the topic “How To Handle A Choleric Wife” especially to help young couples understand themselves and know why their wives act the way she does.
She is not just intentionally bossy, she has an inborn ability to want to lead. She means no harm when she wants to take charge and be in control.
If you have choleric for a wife, you are blessed but only if you know how to manage her well. She will handle things well and you can go to bed if you put her in charge of anything.
The choleric temperament is often tempered with some other secondary temperaments, making the choleric a little subdued.
Here are some of her other strengths and weaknesses and you can best deal with her.
Remember, in marriage, we all make adjustments and we deal with each other according to knowledge.
1. She is energetic, an extrovert, and a goal-getter.
She is never laid back, always in the forefront wherever she is. Her extrovertish nature makes her loud. She always wants to achieve something worthwhile.
Don’t try to keep her down. Try to harness her energy into something the family will benefit from. Celebrate her achievements and praise her for a job well done.
2. She could be inconsiderate, selfish and sharp-tongued
These are some of the weaknesses of the choleric temperament. Rather than being meek and calm, considerate and thoughtful, she is all out to achieve her goals and will do anything or step on any toe on her way. Her sharp tongue is needed to achieve.
Rather than fight her when she is inconsiderate and sharp-tongued, correct her by showing her it is wrong.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Her being extrovert makes her have a lot of friends
She has no secrets and will often bear her heart out to friends. She may talk about her husband, their sex life, and anything that can be said to her friends, mother, sisters and anybody that hat cares to listen.
Don’t rebuke her too harshly. Some of her friends can actually be of help later in the future.
Teach her the dangers of having too many friends and not holding some information. We are meant to make the Holy Spirit our best friend.
4. She finds it difficult to submit
People who have lived with choleric ladies know that a choleric does not submit to anyone except maybe the person she respects greatly
5. She is opinionated
She has to be heard. She states her case intelligently and wants to win the argument all of the time. She wants people to do her bindings. If possible, she would conquer her husband and make him submit to her.
She knows how to talk and may be over-confident, which makes her husband uncomfortable.
You have to teach her from the Bible that every wife that must successfully live with her husband must make her husband feel secured
I will stop here today.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my wife in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my wife in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
Every sheep that will get the best from its shepherd must learn how to be still. Being still means to trust in the shepherd’s person, that he would never lead them to a place of danger or harm nor will he leave them in the face of trouble.
They trust him to take them to where the choicest grasses are and the cleanest of water is.
The Lord is my Shepherd. I have everything I need. He gives me rest in green pastures. He leads me to calm waters. Psalm 23:1-2 ICB
They follow behind him, and when he stops, they stop too. An obedient sheep knows to stay within the safe boundaries created by the shepherd.
It is not in the sheep’s place to teach the shepherd what to do but to watch, listen to and obey the shepherd at all times – to be still and follow the shepherd.
Do you obey your parents at home? When they tell you not to do something because of the bad things that could happen to you, do you listen to them? Or you do as you like, thinking you know what’s best for you?
A sheep doesn’t know what’s best for it. Only the shepherd does. Are you a good sheep following Jesus as your shepherd? Do you obey Him by obeying your parent’s instructions? Learn to be still and follow Jesus.
The most important question that you need to ask yourself right now is this—have you accepted Jesus into your life as your Lord and Saviour? If yes, are you obeying His leading?
If not, then say the prayer at the bottom of this post.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I believe you are the son of God. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. I accept you into my life as Lord and Saviour. I want to be a sheep in your flock. Please be my shepherd. In your mighty name, I pray. Amen.
Action point: Look through this series and see where you can improve on.
Declaration: The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want
“Pray for God’s will. Pray for God’s perfect will for you. God’s perfect will is not always a Mr. Perfect!”
“What if he doesn’t look handsome enough?”
“What if he looks dashing and handsome and after the wedding, after you have fed him well, he departs from your definition of handsome and six-packs become amusement park? Will you divorce him?”
“So, how do I choose now?”
“First, know that God will never lead you wrong.”
“Secondly, it is only God that knows the one you will love now and will still love in another fifty years.”
“Thirdly, your brain is not designed to know the best spouse for you, Only God can help you decide who is the best person that is not only physically dashing but also spiritually prepared for your destiny.”
“Fourthly, stop looking for inadequacies, look out for God’s direction.”
“Fifthly, if he is born again and filled with the Holy Spirit, with no character flaws or habitual sins, the only thing that remains is God’s leading.”
“So, ask God to lead you. Ask him to help you. Ask for the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is the helper. He knows the best for you.
“Wow!”
“Stop using your brain to judge!”
“What if God shows someone to me and he is not physically attractive?”
“God is intelligent. He is not an author of confusion. God is love and He will never lead you to someone you hate and loathe. On the contrary, it is your feelings that can deceive you that you are in love with someone that you will really hate tomorrow!”
“I understand now!
“So I could have missed my man?”
“Possibly, but all hope is not lost. You just need to get back in God, trust His direction and He will have mercy on you!“
“But in all of these, know that an unbeliever or a believer with habitual sins/character issues is a no-go-area.”
“Thanks, Joy! I’m blessed!”
“I pray that God will lead you indeed!”
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to the realities of life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 14:17 [KJV]For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
This is not an absolute and ‘one answer fits all’ situation approach. There is always an exception to the rule. That is why the best thing that can happen to any married couple is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to be a child of God, and to walk with God and know His voice.
It is a privilege to have access to the wisdom of God and He can always tell you what to do in your own peculiar circumstances.
I have witnessed the Holy Spirit help me through certain difficult times in my marriage and I am so grateful for those times.
We are talking about husbands and I believe by God’s Grace, I will also write about the wives.
We have four basic temperaments and other temperament blends. We also have modifications of our temperaments based on different factors such as our background, the environment we were raised in, our parents, their beliefs, exposure, the schools we attended, our religious beliefs, circumstances surrounding our childhood, childhood experiences, etc.
Now, you have to understand who you have married. Without understanding, you cannot be an effective helpmeet, and then it’s impossible for you to submit.
These are some qualities of a choleric husband and how to live with him based on knowledge.
1. A choleric is goal-oriented
That means he lives for achievement. He must achieve something. It is not impossible he cancels luxury at home just to cater for his goals.
Join him in whatever he wants to achieve and support him all the way. Encourage him. Don’t fight him or his goals. A choleric fight to finish and makes it a goal to accomplish.
2. A choleric is an obstacle crusher
A choleric crushes whatever is on his way to achieving that goal. Join him don’t criticize him.
3. A choleric is sharped tongued
It is not impossible he is seen verbally abusing his wife and lashing at her. Gently correct him when the event has passed.
4. He is egocentric
Don’t touch the ego. Help massage it especially in the way you talk. Talk to him in a soft tone and he will listen.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. A choleric maybe inconsiderate and selfish or self-centered
Whenever he is like this, point his attention to what he is doing.
6. He may defer helping
He may not help out in his wife’s project if it is not his project
Make sure you are not offended. Stand your ground but please be open.
7. A choleric husband makes coarse jokes or comments.
Guide against being offended. Be mature and don’t let his sarcasm get at you. Bear your mind out not in a fight but in honest conversation, maybe later, so that he won’t see you as contesting his ‘simple’ joke.
8. He wants to be in control and he is authoritative
See the good part of this. See it as being a strong leader and celebrate that he is being a man.
Don’t become a jelly under his authority. Enjoy him leading you. You don’t want to be in a position where the wife takes decisions.
There are more, but basically, you handle being married to a choleric husband not by being hurt, in strife, contention, or bitterness, you handle this by being honest and sincere with the way you feel.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus’ name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
