Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover. Whatever you are experiencing now is a snapshot of the whole marital album, it is a trailer of the season movies in your marriage. Rev. Dunamis Okunowo
Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover. We are looking at The Incredible Hulk as a type of man or woman not to marry.
In the cinemas, the hulk brings himself to high levels of gamma radiation which results in his transformation into a monstrous green being, whenever he experiences negative emotions.
One type of man or woman you cannot marry is that man who looks cool on an average day but who turns into a monster at any little provocation as a result of anger that is uncontrollable
The hulk is known for turning into a monster when he’s livid with anger and causes destruction all over the place.
Yes, there are people who become destructive when they are angry. They will break stuff, destroy things and let out their anger in ridiculous ways.
The scripture clearly advises that you do not marry such a person. In fact, it says that you don’t become friends with persons with uncontrollable anger not to talk of falling in love with them.
Falling in love with a lover who has uncontrollable anger is like falling in love with a nemesis, as even your life is not safe, neither is theirs!
Pro 22:24 (KJV) Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
A word is enough for the wise. Don’t let anybody damage your exterior because you are in love!
Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover. How do you know an angry person?
The Hebrew word used in the above verse is “ânaph” which means to “breathe hard or to be enraged.”
You would know angry persons from their countenance, mien, reactions, outbursts, tones, body language, and dispositions.
The Message Translation puts it this way:
Pro 22:24 (MSG) Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads.
Yet another translation says
Pro 22:24 (GNB) Don’t make friends with people who have hot, violent tempers.
Perhaps, an even more risky arrangement is two angry people getting married. They will not likely go far in their marital journey before crashing their love vehicle with irreparable damages.
There were two angry brothers who came together in anger. It all ended in tears. They were scattered, divided.
Gen 49:5-7 (KJV) Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. [6] O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. [7] Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
As you can see, it is not really worth it getting married to an incredible hulk who will get angry at no notice, who will manipulate your emotions and beg you, but the damage is done and the next feud of anger could be the next moment.
Why live with a person with whom you have to hold a knife around you just in case?
Why subject your tender emotions to a violent emotion whose expression makes you a victim all the time?
Why get beaten over and over again till you are almost losing your mind because this person exhibits a dual personality or bipolar tendencies?
Today he is calm, loving, and romantic, the next moment, there is a lump on his head and he is fuming as if he will strangle you.
As a single, why allow him/her to make love to you and then make mincemeat of you the next moment?
Why give blow jobs (which is sinful in itself as singles) only to take back blows on your head?
Whoever did this to you does not love you! Are you really planning a wedding with such a person? Sit down and think, prayerfully, if that is what you want all your life.
Whatever you are experiencing now is a snapshot of the whole marital album, it is a trailer of the season movies in your marriage.
If you don’t like what you are seeing now, then run for your life! Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover
I think I will stop here this morning.
I pray that God will give you more understanding and guide you into a great marriage in Jesus name! Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry right
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 22:24 (AMP) Do not even associate with a man given to angry outbursts; Or go [along] with a hot-tempered man,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask that the eyes of your understanding be opened.
Dealing with A Difficult Spouse. Whether a spouse is perceived as difficult or they are actually difficult we need to arm ourselves with what to do. It also becomes a handy tool in helping others who are going through difficulty in their marriage.
We are to be reminded that the standard in our marriage is that of being Christ-like.
The same principle is used to solve little issues as well as big issues in marriage. Marriage is supposed to be till death do us part and we should not see divorce as an easy way out.
We are therefore to equip ourselves with tools to enable us to cope and manage in times of crisis.
Note that these steps do not exclude seeking and going for counseling (professional intervention) and seeking therapy for more difficult issues like infidelity, abuse of any kind, etc
Dealing with A Difficult Spouse.
The seven steps are:
1. Prayers
Please don’t underestimate the power of prayers. By prayers, I don’t mean complaining. There are principles in prayers. Don’t complain about your spouse to God, pray about and for him/her.
Prayer changes you, changes the atmosphere in the marriage, and changes your spouse. Our prayer has to be done in faith. We are to align our thoughts, actions, and words with our prayers. Don’t pray for your spouse and then nullify the prayers by talking evil of your spouse. Don’t talk about the situation, talk about the solution. Receive wisdom from God and walk in that wisdom.
2. Patience
You need patience. We obtain the promise (of a better marriage) by faith and patience. Sometimes it takes time before what we pray for manifests in the physical. Be patient and have a good attitude while at it. You will feel like giving up, don’t. If you give up, you give up too soon.
3. Perspective
You may just need to change the way you view the situation. What may be causing you sleepless nights may be solved by changing your perspective. If you will just show a little empathy. Try to be understanding. For example, if your spouse is frigid, don’t just scream at her. Understand and help her through the fact that she had been abused sexually. Understand your spouse’s background, and personality and use that to evaluate the issue.
4. Praise
When your spouse is being difficult, don’t throw away the baby with the bath water. There are still some good qualities in them. Focus on their good and praise them for those good virtues. The truth is that when we are having issues with our spouse we tend to see their weaknesses. Don’t yield to the temptation of complaining and nagging about their weaknesses.
These are four of the steps in Dealing with A Difficult Spouse. I will continue tomorrow by God’s grace.
Your marriage will thrive
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work. I give myself to the study of God’s word to know what to do. I have wisdom
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me your wisdom and strength to navigate this times
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And now let me speak to the wives. Be devoted to your own husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the Word of God, your kind conduct may win them over without you saying a thing. For when they observe your pure, godly life before God, it will impact them deeply. 1 Peter 3:1 – 2 TPT
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the steps to dealing with your spouse whenever he/she is proving difficult
Don’t Marry The Batman Or The Batwoman. Batman and Batwoman are known for being secretive. They are mysterious, secretive, and totally withdrawn.
Getting married to a secretive person can be risky. This guy or lady has no mentors, trusts no one, and relates with no one.
Mostly been abused in the past, disappointed by some persons in authority, or let down by people he or she trusted in.
There is usually a story that touches the heart around Batman And Batwoman.
The problem is that he will eventually create more stories that touch the heart in the lives of others.
What he hated and is running from becomes that which he inflicts on other people. She becomes a problem rather than a help in marriage.
Nobody really goes far by being secretive. Yes, I am not saying you should mouth your issues with everybody and anybody, that will be foolishness. However, there are people, usually less than three, that you have in your life and you can confide in.
This confidence reposed in trusted people brings healing on a level you don’t understand.
Jas 5:16 (KJV) Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Yes, there is healing there.
However, the Batman husband is that man you live with and you really don’t know. He hardly talks. The wife is usually miffed because he talks to others, except her.
Don’t Marry The Batman Or The Batwoman. The Batwoman type of wife is the one who punishes you with silence. She starves you emotionally by withdrawing from you! You see her get excited with others except you.
He is that guy you know as a single and you don’t know any of his friends. He says he is not social, but the reality is that he is usually withdrawn for a reason.
Secrecy in relationships and marriage is dangerous. This is why every adulterous fling and cheating are predicated on secrecy.
You see, iniquity is perpetuated in secrecy.
He has the capacity to have flings, secrete chats, passworded phones, mysterious calls, girls’ names saved with carpenter, vulcanizer, Bolt man, and so on! Same with a Batwoman in marriage. She lives inside her thoughts and hardly talks.
In marriage, we are to be naked and not ashamed.
The Batman hides in the shadows obtaining information. He is suspicious of people and even suspicious of the person he wants to marry. He trusts nobody. She trusts nobody too.
Batman is never out to kill anybody. He appears to be a good person, but his secrecy will eventually leave you hurt.
He is a solitary lone fighter. He consults nobody. He doesn’t believe in having a spiritual father. He is the lover that tells you that you should keep your relationship in the cooler. He says he doesn’t want attention.
She refuses to introduce you to friends. Your relationship is like a secret cult.
But the more secretive a relationship is, the tendency to let go and drop it like hot potatoes. No commitments, zero casualties in terms of people involved, and so on.
Generally, people who talk to no one end up having major issues they can’t resolve all by themselves.
Don’t Marry The Batman Or The Batwoman
And it could get worse. Beaten in secret. Abused in secret. Manipulated in secret. Sexually starved in secret.
Sooner or later, the pain will be public. The shame will be open. The mystery will turn to misery.
Batman is the kind of man you don’t want to marry! The Batwoman is the type you should run from.
I pray that God will grant you more understanding in Jesus’ name. Your path will not cross with the wrong person. God will preserve you in Jesus’ name! You will not miss it! Did this devotional bless you? Don’t forget to share! Consider Partnering with us too!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be held in bondage in marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me wisdom to discern
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 20:8 (KJV) He shall fly away as a dream, and shall not be found: yea, he shall be chased away as a vision of the night.
The Last Two Stages In Marriage. I started this topic yesterday and I pointed out that there are three stages every marriage will go through.
Knowledge or light is very powerful at whatever stage you are in. You navigate each stage seamlessly and beautifully when there is wisdom and knowledge.
The stages are
1. Opposite attract
2. Opposite frustrate
3. Opposite exchange.
I will continue where I stopped yesterday. The Last Two Stages In Marriage
2. Opposite frustrate:
It is the most critical stage in marriage. Most marriages get stuck here. Most married couples divorce at this stage. Those who don’t divorce, live like strangers or enemies. Not living up to the full potential of their marriage. Definitely, not fulfilling God’s mandate for their marriage.
At this stage, the cracks that were covered are being exposed. Wives that have been treated badly, husbands that have been enduring, at this stage “things fall apart and the center cannot hold”.
If you are presently at this stage, all hope is not lost. If you will get the relevant knowledge and apply the knowledge wisely, walking in wisdom, you will experience restoration.
This is the stage where the opposite causes friction. There is frustration because each of their needs are not been met. They are both unfulfilled. Each feels the other doesn’t love him/her. They don’t sense any good or any commensurate benefit from the marriage. At this stage, the unpleasant, cruel side of each other is experienced. It is at this stage the devil toils with their minds and the thoughts of divorce or separation are entertained.
When this stage is managed well by the wisdom of God, the couple pass to the last stage.
3. Opposite Exchange
This is the stage where the couple begins to enjoy themselves. They enjoy their obedience to God’s word where husbands love their wives as Christ did and the wives have respected their husbands.
Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; Ecclesiastes 4:9 AMPC
They begin to enjoy the oneness and unity God promised in His word. They enjoy the power of agreement at the highest level. Their reward or result is multiplied, and they experience ten times multiplied result.
This is the stage where the couples begin to rub on each other. Where they begin to exchange and partake of each other’s strength. The Choleric becomes more gentle and relaxed while the phlegmatic becomes more goal-oriented. The Sanguine becomes more serious and the Melancholy becomes more joyful and playful.
Here the beauty of marriage is seen. The wisdom of God is fully experienced that there is no better personality. Every personality is unique, needed, and useful to complete the pack.
Marriage is like a duet. Each person is important. Each person has a vital part to supply. Each is uniquely needed. No one of the two is superior. The two are needed for the complete success of the marriage.
If the marriage is working, then the couples are working at it. If the marriage is not working the two are contributing to its failure.
Make up your mind to make a success of your marriage. Those are The Last Two Stages In Marriage
Your marriage will thrive.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work. I give myself to the study of God’s word to know what to do. I have wisdom
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father help me to give myself to learning and light by Gods word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; Eccl 4:9 AMPC
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY I will gain the necessary knowledge for my marriage to work
The Three Stages of Marriage. Knowledge is power. The success of your marriage is in your hands. Where you invest is where you harvest.
The kingdom principle is based on seed, time, and harvest. Doctors invest 7years of attending medical lectures and reading medical books. They become changed into medical doctors.
To be good and godly husbands and wives we have to spend hours learning and reading books on marriage. Doctors won’t graduate until they adequately learned all they are supposed to learn. That’s why you can’t graduate to be a doctor until seven years, not six or five.
For some of us, our knowledge about marriage is incomplete. That’s why we have a near blissful marriage.
For this morning, I will like to let us know that there are 3 stages every marriage will go through. Every one of us will pass through these stages. So the earlier we prepare for them the better.
The Three Stages of Marriage 1. Opposite will attract In God’s wisdom, He always brings two opposite together for the purpose of complementing one another. This is to break the power of superiority. Where you need me and I need you. No matter how gifted a person, you can never become all that God destined you for. God said it is not good for man to be all one.
So by principle, God makes opposite and they will always attract. You will attract someone who has something you don’t have. A choleric will always attract a quiet, reserved, laid-back Phlegmatic.
Let no one despise your personality. No one is the best personality, because together they form the perfect image of God.
A man alone cannot nurture babies nor can a woman alone make babies, it takes a combination of the two.
So the first stage of your marriage is where you attract one another. Some people call it the honeymoon stage. Here you don’t see anything wrong with your spouse.
The Three Stages of Marriage 2. Opposite will frustrate This is the second stage in every marriage. The time of the second stage varies from couple to couple. Some couples have enough knowledge to keep them in the first stage for a long time.
Now, how you handle this second stage is based on how much you have given yourself to investing in your marriage through reading, studying, and learning.
I emphasize again that men and women are so different. We can say that the success of the second stage is based on knowledge, a test of how well you have studied your covenant.
What attracts you will begin to frustrate you. You get irritated at each other. Life changes occur and you begin to repel each other. Your wife needs to be loved more in every aspect. Not loved from men’s perspective but love as she sees love. The very thing that men find difficult to do or comprehend.
The husband on the other hand requires respect. We will continue tomorrow by God’s grace. Your marriage will thrive
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY As a husband, I dwell with my wife based on knowledge that she is different from me. As a wife,I respect my husband
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father help me to realize that men and women are different. Grant me wisdom in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33.….husbands love your wives, wives respect your husbands
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY I will give myself to learning more about my marriage
Don’t Marry The Flash. He wants to marry you because you are too beautiful, hours after meeting. He says you are the best thing that has ever happened to him, hours after meeting. Mr. Flash, slow down, it doesn’t work like that.
Who is the Flash? The flash is a scientist named Barry Allen who acquired super speed through a freak accident and becomes the fastest man alive.
Why shouldn’t you marry him? Beware of that guy who wants to sleep with you minutes after meeting you.
He is not interested in your person, he is only interested in your body. Those are two different things entirely. How does a person want to quickly sleep with the lady he just met? Something is out of place with that proclivity.
Knowing a person requires time. Besides, in this kingdom, we don’t compromise before the wedding! The moment he is rushing you, be careful. It takes time to know a person. Knowing a person requires time and several conversations!
You cannot fall in love with a person you barely know. There is a difference between love and lust.
Mr. Flash is driven by hormonal rushes. He’s had so many quick relationships that never worked out. He is the type that can ask three ladies out in one day. He is quick, nimble, and daring.
He is the type that convinces a lady he meets on the bus to follow him home and they are together for the next few weeks, sleeping together with a person he barely knows.
Once you see a flash in that guy, that is all it is, a flash, never a call.
People who hurry too much to arrive will also depart hurriedly.
Pro 21:5 (MSG) Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind.
Whenever it is too fast, and everybody is warning you, slow down and pray again.
Beware of the Flash!
Jer 2:25a (MSG) “Slow down. Take a deep breath. What’s the hurry? Why wear yourself out? Just what are you after anyway?
The Flash wants to marry you weeks after meeting you. A lot of ladies fall into this trap only to end up in a solo song titled, “He was not like this!” But the reality was that you never knew him.
Time is a tool to prove authenticity. Time reveals. Time exposes. Waiting on God to seek His face as regards that man will eventually put you ahead in life.
I conclude with this scripture!
Psa 46:10 (MSG) “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”
In being still, you will know God, you will know His plan for you and you will avoid a whole lot of heartache.
I pray that God will give you more understanding in Jesus’ name. You will not be too hasty, but you will cooperate with God’s speed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not in a hurry. I am patient for God’s best.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, deliver me from unnecessary haste.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ps 46:10 ESV “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
One Man You Should Not Marry Is A Thanos. Today, we are looking at Thanos
Who is the “Thanos” husband? And why should you avoid such?
Thanos was a genocidal warlord from Titan, whose main goal was to bring stability to the world by wiping out half of all lives.
His objective to bring stability and peace is good. But his method is destructive. Thanos wants to bring peace by destroying lives.
Thanos kind of husband doesn’t mind crushing you to have his way.
Your emotions mean nothing to him, as long as his selfish objectives are achieved.
He is that guy who has paid for several abortions, terminating several conceptions because he doesn’t like using protection.
Run from Thanos. He doesn’t mind putting your womb at risk as long as his rush of adrenaline is satiated.
The reality is as singles, condom or not, sin is sin.
One Man You Should Not Marry Is A Thanos. The Bible warns against evil men!
Pro 2:11-12 (KJV) Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: [12] To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
Perhaps Thanos’ greatest ability is his capacity to rise from the dead. He can accomplish this by sacrificing others so he can live again, recharging his inner strength, so as to return more powerful and terrible than he was before.
Thanos kind of husband has no mercy for ladies. They are just tools for him, objects of sex, and nothing more.
He is the husband who will make advances on his wife’s siblings and who has no sexual decorum in any way. Thanos kind of husband believes there are too many ladies, and you can do whatever you want with them.
Thanos is also known for being manipulative. He is the husband who will manipulate you and make you feel guilty for what you never did.
He is the husband who makes you crawl on your knees to apologize whereas he is the culprit.
One Man You Should Not Marry Is A Thanos. Run from every Thanos, dear singles.
How do you know him as Singles?
Manipulation. Deceit. No regard for God.
Wants to sleep with you and you ask, what if I get pregnant? In the coldest unemotional voice possible, he retorts, “you’ll do the normal!” Abortion is normal to him!
Thanos has no mercy.
He will beat you up at the slightest provocation.
Physically, Thanos in movies stands above the average human with powerful muscles, a broad face, and a purple-hued skin tone.
You can’t match his strength. His potential wife or wife will have several black-eye moments, several bumps on the face, the result of brutality within sexuality.
Don’t put up with Thanos! Run!
I pray for you today, your path will not cross with evil men.
Good morning.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My path will not cross with evil lovers
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, deliver me from every evil relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 2:11-12 NLT Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe. Wisdom will save you from evil people, from those whose words are twisted.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray in the spirit over your relationship
Men Need Respect and Women Need Romance. Men and women are created differently, they function differently and they see things differently. There are three major ways they are different.
Men and women are different in their personalities, their backgrounds, and their gender.
If we understand these differences, we will be able to relate to ourselves better. Meeting each other’s needs and prioritizing pleasing our spouse should be a big deal.
The number one cause of divorce is irreconcilable differences. The opposite will usually attract initially, if not managed well, these qualities that attract us to one another repel us and become a major source of conflict.
Men and women are made from different materials, so even in creation, they are different. Men were made out of dust but women were from one of the most sophisticated materials, the rib bone.
Respect for men is not just a cultural need but a scriptural need.
Ephesians 5:33, instructs women to respect their own husband. Men do things for honor, they are warriors and fighters by nature. So wives you have to be your husband’s number one cheerleader. Let nobody respect your husband more than you.
Affairs naturally develop in a boss-subordinate relationship, like a boss and secretary relationship because there is a natural flow of respect. Men Need Respect, Women Need Romance
Wives, don’t respect your boss, MD, pastor, or any other man more than your husband. You see his weaknesses, so the temptation to not respect him is there because women like to give respect when men do good things. Don’t yield to that temptation.
Understand your husband needs his space and some quiet when he is stressed. That is respect to him. Find new ways of respecting him by asking him, how you can appreciate him more.
Men, it is a crime to marry a woman and don’t give her what she needs most. Women need and love romance. Men don’t understand romance because naturally, they are rugged.
Romance is spelled tenderness. It is doing the normal things with a special touch and effect. Being thoughtful in the little things you do. Giving the little things the extra touch. For example don’t just buy your wife a gift, find out her preference. Take time to find out how she likes the gift. Women enjoy the process, so wrap the gift with a beautiful wrapper and present it in a romantic way. Romance doesn’t have to cost you an arm nor do you have to break the bank. It is romantic to just stay with her while cooking and just be with her.
You can just listen to her, give her a reassuring hug and tell her you understand her.
A woman talks for companionship because she is emotional. She tells you things not for you to correct, judge, apportion, blame, or criticize, she tells you, to empathize with her. This is being romantic.
Invest time, energy, effort, and money to meet your wife’s need for romance and you will harvest a happy, loving wife.
Men Need Respect, and Women Need Romance. Your marriage will thrive!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I dwell with my wife based on knowledge of that she is different from me. I respect my husband
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father help me to realize that men and women are different. Grant me wisdom in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33.….husbands love your wives, wives respect your husbands
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Husbands be romantic to your wives. Wives respect your husband’s.
This morning, we will be looking at the Ten Commandments For Lovers Part 2
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain;
This is the third of ten commandments for lovers. They say you don’t know the value of something until you lose it. It doesn’t have to be your experience. Don’t take your partner’s love and commitment to the relationship for granted. Don’t be so used to each other that you expect nothing new anymore. If you are led to each other by God, then be committed to the relationship.
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. To our brothers, remember her birthday to keep it holy. Ladies have a thing with dates. Significant dates like anniversaries, birthdays, the day she said yes etc may mean nothing to you but means a lot to her. If you need to set a reminder, please do.
Make such days memorable and use them as an opportunity to be good to the one you profess to love.
5. Honour thy father and thy mother Don’t fall in love and then disregard your parents. Respect her parents the same way you respect yours. Carry your pastors along; they are your spiritual parents. Give to your parents, pastors and mentors of your substance, that’s part of honour.
Ensure you have a mentor over your relationship. Good mentors save your from tormentors of life.
6. Thou shalt not kill. Don’t kill your relationship. Don’t always shut her up. Don’t ask her for sex. Don’t pressurize him to fix a wedding date. Don’t stop communicating. Now that she has said yes, don’t stop wooing her. Don’t dress provocatively when paying him a visit. You will kill him before you know it.
Do not sow wrong seeds into your relationship, because you always reap what you sow. Here is The Ten Commandments For Lovers Part 2. Tomorrow, we will look at Part 3
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be careless with my relationship with God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, uphold me to seek you always
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 45:19 (KJV) I have not spoken in secret, in a dark place of the earth: I said not unto the seed of Jacob, Seek ye me in vain: I the LORD speak righteousness, I declare things that are right.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a heart to heart discussion with your lover concerning serving God
Men Need Acceptance While Women Need Attention. Nobody enters marriage with the intention of divorcing, but along the line, there is a disconnection and couples have crises.
Men and women are different species if I can use that term. That’s why it becomes absolutely necessary for them to study and learn about each other’s world.
God has put so much investment into marriage. The first institution that God created was marriage. He made Adam a husband and a father. Marriage was the first institution before any other institution
We have successful lawyers, businessmen, and doctors, who have spent years before becoming what they are while not succeeding in their marriage because they failed to learn about marriage.
Men’s number one need is Acceptance. Women, never confront your husband. Men are warriors and fighters by nature. If you confront him, he will resist you, instinctively because the warrior in him will rise up.
When you accept him, he knows you are for him. You are an ally, not an enemy.
Women, when you want to get your husband to change don’t confront him. The direct correction will not work. He is not your child which you correct. You are to love your husband and you are to correct your children.
The rule is to accept your man, don’t confront him.
For example, if your husband dresses roughly, don’t tell him he dresses roughly and he needs to change. Tell him he is a very handsome guy and that he will even look better when he wears complimentary colours and dress sharp. He gets the message or better still, find a time he is more relaxed and tell him he looks finer with colours that match.
Women like to fix things, please don’t try to fix your man. Accept and celebrate him. Men Need Acceptance While Women Need Attention
On the other hand, women need attention. Your wife needs attention. Everything she does, the hair she makes, the cloth she wears, everything is to get your attention. Notice her, verbalize the fact that you notice her. Don’t ignore your wife. Be the first to notice what she’s wearing and comment. Notice when she makes a new hairstyle and make comments.
Tell her she is beautiful and gorgeous. Be tender towards her like you will do to a baby. Shower her with attention, don’t neglect her for another lady. It’s a No, No. Don’t show another female more attention than you show your wife, under any circumstances.
Couples, learn this about each other and make necessary adjustments.
Your marriage will thrive. Men Need Acceptance While Women Need Attention
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I accept my husband. I give my undivided attention to my wife
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father help me to realize that men and women are different. Grant me wisdom in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5: 33.….husbands love your wives, wives respect your husbands
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be mindful of accepting your husband and giving attention to your wife
Understanding Timing In Marriage. I once listened to a message by Bishop T.D Jakes titled, “Timing Is Everything.”
Sometimes what makes one thing bad and the same thing good is just about timing. What makes words spoken to a loved one good, bad or hurting beyond how it is spoken, is timing.
As husbands and wives, we have to study and understand proper timing. A good and skillful wife understands and uses the concept of timing to her advantage.
Women have great power and influence because they were created by God to be needed by men. God made man in Genesis 2, after He had made animals, plants, sun, and moon, He said it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper meet for him.
Men are not good (according to God’s standards without their wives).
Women are not just gifted more than men and extremely sophisticated, they are very much needed by men. Their make determines their functionality. Every woman is made and created to nurture and carry babies. God trusted women with the next generation.
Women are so much valuable in men’s life.
They have to understand this and carry themselves with this mentality. Wives, you have to defend your value.
You have the responsibility of ensuring you are not devalued for any reason. The value you place on yourself will determine the value placed on you. Have you ever seen a buyer paying more than the value placed on the commodity? Never, the buyer pays the value placed on the commodity.
The wife’s power of influence works better when the right timing is put into consideration.
The concept of right timing when put to use by the couple makes to things work better in the marriage.
Eccl 3:1 There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
A right time for birth and another for death, A right time to plant and another to reap, A right time to kill and another to heal, A right time to destroy and another to construct, A right time to cry and another to laugh,
Understanding Timing In Marriage is crucial for knowing the right time to doing things as couples.
It becomes the wrong timing for the wife to make her grievances known to her husband when he is already feeling down. Men are territorial beings and will like to be in charge and in control. So telling your husband, you are not happy about something automatically puts his defence up.
Husbands, it becomes wrong timing for you not to consider the fact that your wife is an emotional being and sermonize her over a mistake she is already sorry about.
As couples let us be mindful of the things we do or don’t do considering whether it’s the right timing or not.
Our marriage will thrive!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have understanding of the right time and seasons in my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me wisdom to consider the right timing before acting in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eccl 3:1 There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Consider the timing before acting. You don’t act out your feelings everytime
The Ten Commandments For Lovers. If the 10 commandments were written in the contemporary world, specifically for lovers, what would they look like? Let’s delve into it this morning!
The is not an attempt to change the ten commandments, no those are sacrosanct. This is just a creative way to apply them to our love life and creatively learn from them.
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. This is the first of the ten commandments for lovers. This means you should not double-date. Don’t add another bone to the bone God has given you. Set your face like a flint and concentrate on your partner. One god is good enough in God’s injunctions. Even the traditionalist are focused.
One guy in Abuja and another in Lagos while going out with both is not God’s idea. One babe in Canada and the other in Nigeria, while professing love to both at the same time is never the style of the kingdom.
One young man to supply gadgets and an elderly rich man to supply cash is trying to eat your cake and have it. These actions are strange to the kingdom!
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image This is the second of the ten commandments for lovers. This means don’t idolize anything, including your relationship. Not your family, not your career, not your friends. Your walk with God should not suffer because you fell in love. Your lover should not become a graven image to replace God.
In your attempt to do that, you may end up losing that lover. God is to be worshipped, your lover is to be loved, don’t get it twisted. Your lover is never to be worshipped. Your lover cannot be your god.
You fell in love and you stopped reading your Bible? It’s not a good idea. Thinking all day about your lover has replaced meditation in God’s word. Not cool at all.
You used to send scriptures that bless you to friends, now you are sending pictures; nude pictures to your lover! That contravenes the kingdom lifestyle!
I will stop here this morning. To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am focused on my relationship.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to focus on my partner.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 50:7 (KJV) For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out all the good things in your partner.
Wives, Appreciate your husband’s efforts. This morning I will like to write specially to the wives.
Good women could be frustrating their husbands’ efforts not because they are wicked but because they don’t know.
Men and women are so differently wired and that’s why it becomes important to learn about the different ways they are wired.
Women’s brains are like spaghetti, so they have things mixed up and jumbled up. Men’s brains on the other hand are like rice. Men separate issues and have the ability to treat events separately. Women, because of the way their brains are wired are tempted to give wrong, discouraging, and demoralizing vibes, when their husbands are trying to make efforts in pleasing them if something else is going wrong in other aspects.
A wife will not appreciate her husband’s good deeds if he fails in certain other areas. For example, she will not appreciate her husband’s hard work in providing for the family, if he criticizes her.
Women are giving to details. So they tend to focus on the little details not working. This could mean women are petty. Wives, Appreciate your husband’s efforts
If their husbands are putting 95% effort into pleasing them and 5% is not working. They tend to put their attention on the 5% not working.
The key here is to put your attention on the aspect where your husband is doing well and praise him. Praise him for the 95% or 5% as the case may be. He will get so excited and intoxicated with the praise that he will want to do more and better in those areas you want him to change.
Men will run from situations that make them feel pressured. They will rather stay where they are celebrated, that’s why men stay where they perform better eg their works.
So wives, my advice this morning is to celebrate your husband’s little effort in pleasing you, make a big deal of it and just hint at those areas you want him to improve on.
If you follow your natural wiring of focusing on details, you will keep demoralizing your husband. Praise him when you feel like complaining.
Your marriage will thrive. Wives, Appreciate your husband’s efforts
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am appreciative of who God has given to me as my husband. I celebrate all his effort in pleasing me.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me wisdom and understanding concerning my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to appreciate your husband’s effort to please you.
How To Have A Blast and Still Be Blessed. Sally and George were so deeply in love! However, George wanted Sally to do certain things for him which were like crossing the red line for Sally. Sally was caught in the middle. She so much loved George but she also adored God. It was a tug of war between the flesh and the spirit.
Can one really have a blast and still be blessed? Yeah, right! You can have a blast and still be blessed in your relationship! You can have a blast in your relationship without displeasing God or losing His favour in the process.
Sally was confused. She wept severally because she loved George and she loved God. She knew she had to drop one. It was a hard decision for her. The thought of dropping George seemed suicidal. The thought of dropping God is pure hell. What would she do?
As she sat in my office seeking counsel, I had compassion for her. I knew what to tell her, but I prayed for a pearl of wisdom for the right vehicle for my words to avoid a destiny accident. Love issues can be very tricky!
“Pastor, what should I do?” I looked at her. Her mien was that of one who knows what to do but lacks the strength to do so.
“Have you been sexually involved?” I asked her
She hesitated. Her head bowed, her countenance taking a duck, I knew the answer right away!
Sheepishly, she said “Yes Pastor, but we asked for forgiveness!”
“I am not here to condemn you daughter” I chipped in so that guilt will not convolute the conversation and the devil will not explore that loophole.
“It was only five times,” she said,
“Okay, my daughter.”
“You are in a battle between your soul and your flesh. The flesh wants George. Your soul needs God. The confusion is there because there has been a compromise. Every time there is a compromise, the soul gets confused.
“Think about this daughter. George is the lover of your flesh. God is the lover of your soul. To know what to do, you have to get into your spirit. The struggle is real but the truth is there.
Gal 5:17a (MKJV For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh.
Don’t be in a rush. God is not an author of confusion. Take some time and have a sincere conversation with God. I don’t want to call it prayer. Just talk to God. From your spirit, your belly, in your knower, you will know the truth, and when you know what to do, however painful it might seem, take that decision.
Let me warn you, emotionally, it won’t be easy, but eternally, it will be a blessing!
Remember this, God knows best! He will never lead you wrong and He will never abandon you!” The safest place to be is God’s side! This is How To Have A Blast and Still Be Blessed
“Thanks, Pastor.”
As she stood up to leave, I added, “I think the greatest misery a person can find himself is to seek pleasing his lover while displeasing God. Things are going to get awry quickly.
“I understand sir,” she said.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not disappoint God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to the needful and not just listen my flesh
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 5:16-17 (MKJV) I say, then, Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. [17] For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh. And these are contrary to one another; lest whatever you may will, these things you do.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide for God, and not for your flesh!
Three Things Women Want In Their Husbands. One of the first commandments of marriage is ‘selflessness’. You will find happiness if you make your spouse’s happiness your priority. Husbands, if you truly love your wife, you will want to meet her needs.
Women have many needs but in today’s devotional, I will write about three of those needs.
Three Things Women Want In Their Husbands 1. Affection The Webster dictionary defines affection as “a feeling of liking and caring for someone or something : tender attachment : fondness”
Women love it when their husbands are fond of them. Husbands can show affection to their wives in a number of ways. The baseline is whatever you do in loving your wife, be thoughtful of her. Like her person and genuinely care for her and about her.
Let her know you are proud of being her husband. That you are proud of her, you genuinely value her contributions and opinions in your life.
Tender touches also show your affection towards her, public displays of affection (PDA), like holding her hands, smiling, and looking into her eyes are some other displays of fondness.
2. Meaningful Conversations Women love talking. Even for the introversive ones, she will still long to express herself by having meaningful conversations with her husband.
Meaningful conversations like what her desires are, her aspirations, her opinions, and her vulnerability are all that make for meaningful conversations for her. It’s important for a wife to be vulnerable to her husband.
It is a turn-off to conversations when the husband does not listen to understand his wife, and they can’t have a mature conversation.
Couples will always be different and so will have different opinions.
When husbands tune off, wives often feel they don’t care. Strong relationships are built on deep and meaningful conversations and real communication.
So if your wife says she wants to talk, switch off the TV, put your phone aside and give her your undivided attention.
3. Family Commitment Women need to feel secured. One of the ways she feels secured is when the wife knows that her husband is committed to her and her children completely.
Be Committed to your family by putting them first place in your thoughts, and decisions and being considerate of their welfare and happiness.
Let your wife see how important your family is to you. Love your children and be committed to them
Whether your marriage is on the rocks or strong as nails, it will absolutely benefit from examining these needs and applying them to your marriage. Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself.
Your marriage will thrive! There are the Three Things Women Want In Their Husbands
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my wife. I am affectionate towards her. I meet her needs for meaningful conversations and I am committed to our family.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Let the love of God be shed abroad in my heart towards my wife
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY In any case, as for you individually, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and wives should respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:33 CEB
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be affectionate and love your wife genuinely. Be committed to your family and have meaning conversions with your wife
Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship. Sandy and George fought all through their relationship! It lasted three years and there was not one week stretch without some heartache.
They got used to such heartaches till they thought it was normal. They got involved in many wrong things in their bid to have a nice time. And at the end of the day, they still broke up as a result of constant ceaseless series of quarrels and heartaches.
Well, I am here to tell you this morning, decide to enjoy yourself in that love story!
Quickly, I want to tell you how to enjoy your relationship and of course, how not to enjoy the relationship.
Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship!
How To Enjoy Your Relationship
1. Let the foundation of your relationship be God’s word. Whatever is opposed to God’s word, don’t do it.
Rom 14:23b (KJV) …for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.
2. Have a mutual mentor/pastor you are both talking to. There will be things that are beyond you and your saving grace will be that there is someone you can talk to.
3. Create a balance between faith and fun. The Cinemas are good, but make sure there are Bible studies too. The ice cream is okay but ensure you have time for fasting together. Balance is key.
How NOT to enjoy your relationship.
Sex should be out of the picture. This will eventually bring agony to the heart because you will lose God’s favour when you stay in disobedience. This will not be your portion in Jesus’ name.
2. Staying over the night in your lover’s place, playing a small Mummy role, and so on is not the way to go. In the kingdom, we don’t do such things. Continually spending nights together when you are not yet married will get you into unnecessary troubles.
3. Being in love or relationship with a person and keeping it secret already is symptomatic of serious issues. When you are disenfranchised from people and from authority figures because you are in love, you will suffer alone and have nobody to talk to during the day when the storms arise.
I am going to stop here this morning! Decide To Have A Blast In Your Relationship
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will enjoy my relationship
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, keep me from falling. Hold me by the hand in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:23b (AMPC) For whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is sin [whatever is done without a conviction of its approval by God is sinful].
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Stop those things that will not work eventually
Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage. Sade is such a sweet lady who met Bode, a charming handsome guy. It was love at first, second and third sights! They fell in love like their love story was written from heaven itself.
Their courtship was short because they were both nearing their thirties. They were the quintessential couple, serving it hot for their teeming followers on Instagram.
They were so much in love or so it seemed. After the wedding, and just a few months after, several issues emanated and both of them were wondering where they found themselves.
They both had traveling baggage that they brought into the marriage! Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage!
People whose baggage are traveling bags, seem like they have no issues, but the reality is that they have mastered the art of tucking away their weakness for months at a time.
Just like you don’t travel every day, they don’t show their issues every time. But seasonally, their “demons” come to the fore and seek to scatter things!
As soon as the imbroglio is settled, there would seem to be peace, but it would be short-lived. After some months, the problem rares its head again. It becomes frustrating because it would now seem the issues is there to be managed for life.
Jesus did not call you to manage problems and carry your baggage all through life.
He issues an eternal invitation and asks that you come for rest!
Are you tired from this load? Don’t Carry That Load Into Marriage!
Mat 11:28 (CEV) If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest.
Talk to Jesus now, and He would surely give you rest!
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have rest from all troubles in Jesus’ name
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to see what I need to work on by your grace
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:28 (GNB) “Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Empty your handbag at the foot of the cross
Couples – 3 Things Men Want in Their Wives. The first one is Respect
Men thrive better in marriage when their wives trust and respect them. I believe it is not just a need but how men are wired. They are wired to love and respond to respect.
You can make respect a priority in your marriage consciously. Your husband will always sense your attitude of respect. Respect in words and actions even in the very little things can make your husband calm and not uptight or harsh. With our soft answers, we can make them feel great.
Wives, be wise, don’t answer your husbands with a disrespectful tone or body language.
When he knows he has a wife that respects and celebrates his opinions he won’t want to exert his headship.
I guess it makes them feel on top of the world. You know like the feeling of being a king.
As the children grow, it is also essential to teach them and show them by example how to respect the man of the house.
The Bible also gives clear instructions, not a suggestion to wives to respect their husbands in Ephesians 5:33b CEV translation “…and wives should respect their husbands.“
Respect can be expressed in so many ways. Ask your own husband how he will like you to respect him. Since respect means different things to different people.
2. Intimacy
Men love it when they know that their wives are devoted to them. All men love it when you touch them. So, don’t allow the day to pass without your rubbing your husband’s back, or head, giving him a hug, a kiss, cuddling when watching a movie, or cuddling in bed. Just touch everywhere and anywhere. He is your husband.
Every Husband wants to know they are attracted to their wives physically. So initiate sex Let your husband know that he is the best and that he is still the handsome guy you fell in love with.
Share deep thoughts and feelings with him. Be vulnerable and let your husband know how you feel about issues and communicate without inhibitions.
3. Appreciation
Men do a lot in terms of keeping the family together especially good men. Being a good husband, father and a good provider is not an easy task. This is one of the 3 Things Men Want in Their Wives
So your husband will do well with some praise and appreciation
Be generous with your appreciation and praise. Don’t just appreciate your husband in your thoughts and in your heart. Learn to verbalize your appreciation. Say thank you, to your husband for helping out around the house. Don’t take those things for granted.
Say thank you for every little thing he does. Be quick to notice little and big gestures. Let them be big deals to you. Thanking your husband is very powerful, little wonder it’s one of the magic words
Celebrate his success and achievement. Be passionate about his work or job. Thank him for his effort, hard work, and diligence.
Let your husband be sure of your praise if any other person doesn’t praise him.
Leave short notes for him, letting him know how much you appreciate him.
Don’t focus on things you don’t have or the things he doesn’t do. Focus on the things he does and he will do more. It is a law, what you focus on becomes bigger and of course, he will also get better at being a good husband. These are the 3 Things Men Want in Their Wives.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a good wife. I focus on meeting the needs of my husband always. I am not weary of doing good.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I ask for grace to be a doer of what my husband needs in Jesus mighty name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY In any case, as for you individually, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and wives should respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:33 CEV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Respect your husband, appreciate and be intimate with him
How To Enter Into A Rhythm of Favour . Oh, what would it be like to have streams of favour uninterrupted in one’s life, relationship and work?
Did the scripture promise something like that? Can it possibly be our reality?
Well, let’s take a look at the scriptures!
Mat 11:29 (MSG) Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
The Message Translation of Matt 11:29 captures the essence of today’s devotional.
There is a rhythm of grace! An unforced rhythm of favour that makes life easy!
The word “rhythm” means “a strong, regular repeated pattern”
I pray for you today, God will bring you into a strong regular, repeated pattern of favour in Jesus’ name!
According to the scripture above, There are four things you are to do that will lead you into this rhythm
How To Enter Into A Rhythm of Favour 1. Walk 2. Work 3. Watch 4. Learn
There is a WALK and there is WORK! There is time spent with Him to WATCH Him and LEARN! When you do this, you will come into repeated pattern of favour!
Enoch walked with God and we know his testimonies. Jesus worked with God and we know what happened. Jesus said we should “Watch” and pray and he also said we should “Learn” of Him
As you begin to spend more time with God and His word, I pray that you will come into a strong, regular repeated pattern of God’s favour in Jesus’ name! This is How To Enter Into A Rhythm of Favour Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I walk, work, watch and learn of Him
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to walk and work with you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:29 (AMPC) Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to practice His presence today
Sleep Through The Storms In Your Marriage. Jesus provides us as believers so many weapons to use to have victory in life. One thing is sure, we always have one hundred percent victory, a hundred percent of the time especially in our marriage.
It is so beautiful being a child of God. You are just assured that you are an overcomer. Hallelujah. Whether in marriage, on your job, over your health finances, children, or your emotional life, your total victory is guaranteed.
This is the confidence we have in him, that our faith overcomes every situation and challenge. Will you also exercise this faith you already possess as a believer? Sleep Through The Storms In Your Marriage
We face different situations, and in all of these, the Holy Spirit tells us which weapon to use. Whether it is to give a shout of praise, laugh, dance, worship, engage in spiritual warfare, fast and pray, give, or even sleep. Yes, I mean sleep, (rest). But you can’t sleep in the storm if you don’t know the God you believe in.
If you don’t know God and what He has said, there is no way you can sleep. When your children are ill, when your spouse is wayward, when you don’t have money in your pocket, you can’t sleep. Without knowing God’s promise, you will worry yourself sick.
Jesus was sleeping in the boat during a storm.
Mark 4:37-39 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
As we take God at His word, stand on it, declare it (until the reality hits us) and we believe that He can never lie. We trust Him in the midst of whatever storm we face, knowing He is right by our sides. Sleep Through The Storms In Your Marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a Word chaser. My soul pants after your word, as the deer pants for the water brooks
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Help me to hunger and thirst for you Word, oh Lord.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mark 4:37-39 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study God’s word daily and get to know Him.
