Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using. Marriage can be a challenging journey, and it requires more than just love to make it work. Communication is key, but not all words are equal in their impact. In fact, some words should never be uttered by men to their wives or fiancées. Why? Because they can be like piercing swords in the heart of your partner, causing irreparable damage to your relationship.
Take the example of Bode and Sade. They got married a few years back, attracted to each other’s different personalities. Bode was the introvert, while Sade was the vivacious one. However, over time, their marriage hit rocky shores, and their once-exciting relationship turned sour. What happened?
It turns out that Bode and Sade had different expectations coming into the marriage. They also had different experiences growing up, with Bode exposed to negative utterances and vituperations, while Sade grew up in a family where abusive words were never used. When Bode dished out harsh words, Sade withdrew into her shell, and the excitement that once attracted Bode disappeared. As frustrations mounted, Bode continued to use harsh words, oblivious to the fact that his words were hurting his wife.
This scenario is all too common in marriages, and it’s essential to be mindful of the words we use. To that end, here are five things that men should never say to their wives or fiancées.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
1. ”I thought I married a joyful wife. You are obviously a sadist.”
This statement is a classic example of how not to communicate with your partner. By calling your wife a sadist, you are not only being hurtful, but you are also undermining her character. Your role as the priest of the house is to encourage and uplift your partner, not to tear her down with your words.
2. ”I don’t like the way you make stupid mistakes. I am having doubts about this wedding/marriage.”
This statement is a recipe for disaster. By expressing doubts about the marriage, you are creating unnecessary tension and anxiety in your relationship. Instead of attacking your partner, try to understand why they are making mistakes and offer support to help them improve.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
3. ”You are too slow for me. With the way we are going, we won’t last in this relationship/marriage.”
These words are not only hurtful but also have the potential to become self-fulfilling prophecies. By speaking negative words over your relationship, you are setting the stage for its failure. Remember, words are powerful, and what you speak, you attract.
4. ”What is wrong with you? You keep making mistakes every day. Are you sure you are okay?”
This statement is a direct attack on your partner’s self-esteem and can lead to self-doubt and low self-confidence. Instead of criticizing your partner, try to understand their struggles and offer a helping hand.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
5. ”I am not sure you are well brought up. My mum is not like this. She is not lazy and she took care of my dad!”
Comparing your partner to someone else, especially your mother, is a big no-no. It’s disrespectful and can make your partner feel inadequate. Remember, your partner is not your mother, and it’s unfair to hold them to the same standards.
In conclusion, marriage requires intentional communication and a willingness to speak the truth in love. Harsh words have no place in a healthy relationship, and it’s important to be mindful of the impact our words can have on our partners. By choosing our words carefully, we can create a positive and loving environment that fosters growth and happiness in our relationships.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound. Ade met Sally and professed his love. He was all over her. Six months later, Sally was heartbroken. Ade became her enemy. There have been several kisses, but they were kisses of an enemy.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson got married two years ago. Mr. Johnson had a bad habit that only his wife knows. His wife was on his case until he began to make changes. His ego was bruised, and his pride was punctured, but he got better. He was wounded, but they were wounds of a friend.
The scripture is filled with God’s wisdom. There is enough wisdom in God’s word such that, if followed, crises in relationships and marriages will be minimized.
Let’s take a look at the scripture
Pro 27:6 (KJV) Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound
There is an obvious contradiction in the verse above. I would have understood if the Bible says “The kisses of a friend and the wounds of an enemy. But the scripture says “Wounds of a friend and the kisses of an enemy.”
The friend comes with wounds. The enemy comes with kisses.
Your lover or spouse will often come with wounds, yet he meant well. Corrections and confrontations will burst your ego, will dissolve your pride, and will challenge your weakness zone! You will feel wounded either in courtship or marriage because that which you are used to is being unsettled.
Never refuse instructions from your spouse because your spouse knows you in and out.
Pro 15:32 (KJV) He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound
Get ready to be wounded by those who love you! The one decorating you with kisses only is actually an enemy! The one that doesn’t correct you and tells you what you want to hear all the time is an enemy.
True love can be tough. God chastises those He loves! It pleased God for Jesus to be wounded so that we might be saved. It took a kiss from Judas for Jesus to be betrayed.
A kiss came from the devil because the Bible says Satan entered Judas. But a wound came from God to Jesus. He was wounded for our transgressions!
Your friend is a “wounder” and your enemy is a “kisser! Know this and know peace!
When you understand these dynamics, you will know that your spouse is not an enemy, the one who is not your spouse but is taking advantage and telling you stuff is actually an enemy!
Love Before And After Wedding: Why Falling in Love with the Wrong Person is Dangerous
Love is a beautiful feeling that everyone desires to experience. However, falling in love with the wrong person can have disastrous consequences. In this article, we will discuss the dangers of falling in love with the wrong person and why married couples must keep the love burning before and after the wedding.
Why fall in love with another person’s spouse?
Falling in love with another person’s spouse is not only immoral but also dangerous. Such desires waste your time, blind you to the original thing God wants to do in your life, and ultimately bring a delay in God’s individual plan for you. Besides, you will be endangering your life, and the wrath of a man or woman whose spouse is being trifled with is not something to experience.
It’s the same when you have sex with your neighbor’s wife: Touch her and you’ll pay for it. No excuses. Adultery is a brainless act, soul–destroying, self–destructive; Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good (Proverbs 6:29,32-33 Message)
Why fall in love with a person you cannot spend your life with?
Falling in love with someone you cannot spend your life with is a recipe for disaster. If you don’t like him or her, but you are in love, then something is amiss. If you know that he or she doesn’t like you but you are in love, then it’s time to apply the brakes.
You should not fall in love with a person who violates God’s principles, even if your parents, friends, or pastor approve of the relationship. Remember, you cannot love a person you don’t like.
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
Why fall in love with a man because of money?
Money cannot buy love, and falling in love with a man because of money is the wrong purpose for sticking together. Such a man will eventually fail you because man is built to disappoint. Therefore, do not attempt to make a man your Jehovah Jireh.
Married Couples – Love Before And After Wedding
Marriage is a sacred institution that requires deliberate effort to keep the love burning. Married couples must fall in love with each other repeatedly to protect themselves from intense temptations and traps that are out there.
Do not allow the fire to go out in your marriage. Be creative, and never stop wooing each other. Take yourselves out again, toast each other again, get the flowers, and write the poems again! When you make that sacrifice for each other, you will have peace of mind in your marriage and be able to maximize the power of agreement that lies in a good marriage.
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What do you do when you find yourself in love with the wrong person?
If you find yourself in love with the wrong person, it’s time to walk away, run away, or fly away. Do not allow emotional connections to keep you in the wrong relationship.
You must save your soul by delivering yourself as a roe from the hand of the hunter and as a bird from the hand of the fowler (Proverbs 6:5).
Even though it can be uneasy, you must think about the inevitable agony that lies ahead, the consequences of disobedience that are sure to come, the disenfranchising of oneself from the favor and support of God, and the delay of God’s beautiful plan. When you sum them together, you will muster enough strength to fly away and say a “strong NO” to a wrong lifestyle. The beauty of it all is that God will be waiting to embrace you and make all things right!
Conclusion
In conclusion, falling in love before and after the wedding is a beautiful thing that can add depth and meaning to our lives. However, it is important to remember that not all love is created equal, and we must be discerning in our affections.
Falling in love with someone who is already married, for example, is not only morally wrong, but it can also lead to serious consequences and heartbreak for all parties involved. Likewise, falling in love with someone for their money or status is not true love and will ultimately lead to disappointment.
For married couples, falling in love with your spouse over and over again is an essential part of keeping the fire alive in your marriage. It takes effort and creativity, but the rewards are immeasurable.
And for those who find themselves in love with the wrong person, it is important to have the strength to walk away and choose a better path. By doing so, we can find true love and happiness in God’s plan for our lives.
Wrong Sources of Marital Advice. Marriage is an institution built on trust, respect, and communication. When two people decide to spend their lives together, they vow to be there for each other in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad. However, sometimes things can go wrong, and communication can break down. When this happens, it is not uncommon for one or both partners to turn to other people for advice or support. But how do you know if you are seeking advice from the wrong voices in your marriage? In this article, we will explore some of the signs that you may be seeking advice from the wrong people and offer some tips on how to find the right ones.
Your friends are biased
It is natural to turn to your friends for advice, but sometimes their advice can be biased. Your friends may have their own issues in their relationships that they are projecting onto your situation. Alternatively, they may have always had a negative view of your partner, which could color their advice. While your friends may mean well, it is essential to recognize that their advice may not always be objective.
Wrong Sources of Marital Advice
You turn to family members
Family members can also be biased. They may have their own issues with your partner or their own agenda. For example, if your parents went through a bad divorce, they may be overly protective and want to steer you away from any potential problems. While family members can be a great source of support, it is important to recognize their biases and take their advice with a grain of salt.
You seek advice from online forums
The internet can be a great resource for advice, but it can also be a breeding ground for misinformation. Online forums are often filled with anonymous people who may not have any qualifications or expertise in relationship counseling. It can be challenging to know who is offering sound advice and who is just trolling.
Wrong Sources of Marital Advice
You consult with co-workers
Your co-workers may be great people to commiserate with, but they are not necessarily relationship experts. Additionally, office politics can come into play, and your co-workers may have their own agenda. It is essential to keep work and personal life separate and not let office gossip influence your decisions.
You turn to social media
Social media can be a great tool for connecting with people, but it is not always the best place to seek advice. Social media is often filled with people who may not know you or your situation, and they may be quick to offer their opinions without having all the facts. Additionally, social media can be an echo chamber, where you are only hearing opinions that confirm your biases.
So, if these are the wrong voices, who are the right ones? The right voices are those who have experience and qualifications in relationship counseling. These may include licensed therapists, counselors, and coaches. Additionally, couples who have successfully navigated similar issues can be a great source of support and advice. Finally, it is essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Your partner is the one who knows you and your situation the best, and they should be your primary source of support.
Experiencing a breakup or divorce is not something anyone desires or looks forward to. As a matter of fact, God hates divorce, and it is not His best for His children. However, in some cases, it happens, and the aftermath of such events is usually filled with hurt, betrayal, pain, regret, and heartache. It doesn’t matter who is at fault; what’s essential is getting healed from every hurt. With God’s help, you can overcome the pain and come out stronger. In the name of Jesus, He will give you double for your trouble, and you will forget all your past hurts.
Here are five ways to handle your ‘Ex’ as a single or married person so that you can become a better person rather than a bitter one.
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
When Your Ex Won’t Let Go
1. Acknowledge that the relationship has ended
Some people may hold onto the hope that something might happen to bring them back together. However, if your ‘Ex’ is not willing, there is nothing you can do to change that. Denial will only keep you stuck in the past, preventing you from moving forward. You need to let go of the past to embrace the new. Just like God recognized the death of Moses before Joshua could take over, you need to recognize that the relationship is over before you can move on.
When Your Ex Won’t Let Go
2. Minimize all forms of communication
You need to reduce all forms of communication to the barest minimum, such as visits, calls, chats, and texts. Maintaining contact with your ‘Ex’ can lead to double dating and cheating on your new partner, which will only cause more hurt and pain. Some ‘Exes’ might want to continue enjoying your company without committing to you. Don’t fall for this trap, as it will only waste your time and hurt you even more. Avoid checking their social media updates to keep up with their lives or getting jealous when you see them with someone else. Let them be and move on.
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When Your Ex Won’t Let Go
3. Learn from your past relationship
The best way to overcome the pain and hurt from a past relationship is to learn from it. Don’t let the devil have the last laugh by dwelling on the past. Take the time to reflect on the mistakes you made and learn from them. Don’t rush into another relationship or try to prove a point. Instead, go at God’s pace and ask yourself questions like What went wrong? What were the wrong choices I made? These questions are not meant to depress you but to make you wiser. Learn about human behavior and tendencies, how to treat a lover, and put God at the top of your priority list.
For those who have been married once, divorce should not be an option. However, in some cases, it may be necessary when there is violence and abuse involved or when reconciliation is no longer possible. In addition to the tips mentioned above, forgiveness is key to moving on.
Bitterness will only crush you more, so get healed. Do not use your children as a tool to fight back, as this can plant bitterness in their hearts.
In Jesus’ name, I pray that God will give you the strength to fight for your marriage, and may He restore that which is lost and fill your mouth with laughter again.
How To Satisfy Your Wife: Tips for Better Communication, Romance, and Bedroom
Marriage is a beautiful union, but it takes work to keep it strong and healthy. As a husband, one of your primary responsibilities is to make sure your wife is happy and satisfied. In this devotional, we’ll discuss some tips on how to satisfy your wife sexually and emotionally.
How To Satisfy Your Wife
1. Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is key to a happy and healthy marriage. Here are some tips to help you communicate more effectively with your wife or fiancee
a. Empathic listening Listen actively and attentively. Put yourself in her shoes when she is talking.
b. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements “You” statements can come across as accusatory, so you might want to avoid that.
c. Avoid interrupting your wife My wife, for example, doesn’t like me to interrupt her when she is talking. Even saying “okay” too many times is an interruption for her. It took me years to learn this.
d. Be open and honest Be transparent. Once your wife sees that you are dishonest, you will break her trust and that can really be counterproductive.
e. Respect each other’s opinions and feelings Do not dismiss her opinions even if they sounded “stupid” to you! Please take note of this and thank me later!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
How To Satisfy Your Wife
2. Prioritize Romance
The second thing you want to take note of is this. Romance is an important part of any marriage. Here are some ways to keep the romance alive:
a. Surprise your wife with small gestures, like bringing her favorite snacks or leaving her a romantic poem for her
b. Plan date nights. This helps you to be deliberate about your marriage.
c. Show physical affection, like hugging and kissing. This shouldn’t be difficult. Is that what every man wants?
d. Do things together that you both enjoy. Find mutual activities and dive into it.
Dear singles, don’t even try to take “romance” to the physical level. Be nice, and courteous, and understand that you are the protector of her body, not the violator of it!
How To Satisfy Your Wife
3. Keep the Sex Life Interesting
Singles, keep sex out completely. It’s not even on the menu!
For couples, a healthy sex life is crucial to any marriage. Here are some tips to spice things up in the bedroom:
a. Communicate openly about your desires. Deal with inhibitions.
b. Try new things, like different positions, but don’t break somebody’s daughter’s legs!
c. Take your time and focus on foreplay. She needs an average of twenty minutes foreplay unless you are doing a quickie!
d. Be attentive to your wife’s needs and desires. That helps her to be responsive in bed.
How To Satisfy Your Wife
4. Show Appreciation
Showing appreciation is an important part of any relationship. Here are some ways to show your wife how much you appreciate her:
a. Compliment her. Do this deliberately, Single or Married.
b. Say “thank you” Do not take her for granted, no matter how “little,” you think the effort is.
c. Do things for her without being asked. Be creative.
This is where we will stop today!
By following these tips, you can improve your relationship with your wife and keep your marriage strong and healthy. Remember to communicate effectively, prioritize romance, keep the sex life interesting, and show appreciation for your wife.
If only men can take their place, if only they can be responsible, if only they can lead rightly, we will surely have fewer broken marriages and damaged hearts!
Men are important! Daddies are precious. Fathers are golden!
Most young ladies today have serious defects in their lives because of absentee fathers or non-existent ones, and they, in turn, take this pain and transmit it in raising their own sons thereby perpetuating an anomaly into generations!
Oh that men would realize that which is committed unto them
Oh, that man would know that their carelessness does not end with them but initiates a crazy network of consequences that affects the wife, the children, and everybody around!
Where are the men?
Our text today which inspired all I have written above is taken from
Song of Solomon 2:3 (KJV) As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
My Husband Stands Out Like An Apple Tree
Let me quickly point out three things here:
An apple tree among other trees
An apple tree is different from all other trees because of the uniqueness of immense benefits encapsulated in the apple. So should men be!
When a single guy is like an apple tree, he is not like other guys who just want sex, who are just looking for fun, and who don’t mind taking advantage of ladies.
When a married man is like an apple tree, he is different from all other trees, he wouldn’t cheat on his wife and he would not violate the sanctity of their marital covenant!
My Husband Stands Out Like An Apple Tree
2. I sat down under his shadow with great delight
As a man, your shadow should bring shade and comfort to that lady, not the agony of heart!
The lady should find a great sense of security and peace under the protective covering of her beloved. She should feel sheltered and shaded; that she is no longer at the mercy of others, but now under his care.
My Husband Stands Out Like An Apple Tree
3. His fruit was sweet to my taste
The fruits of his spirit should align with the fruit of the spirit. His character should be sweet to her taste!
The remembrance of every single guy should be a sweet taste to the fiancee, not memories of abuse, rape, and violence!
The remembrance of every husband to his wife should bring sweetness to the palette, not regret and acute bitterness!
Lord, give our singles ladies men like apple trees among other trees!
Lord, make the husbands of our women, choice men, apple trees among other trees, bringing security and peace, sweetness and bliss in Jesus’ name!
In your journey of life, you are going to meet “destiny opposers!”
They just don’t like your face or anything you stand for!
It doesn’t matter if you are nice or not, as a matter of fact, some of these opposers are those you have been benefactors to one way or the other, which even makes it more painful.
Those you brought help to who are now bringing hell back to you!
They are all over the place in life and in marriage!
They could be your exes, mentees, or even mentors. It could be whichever way!
What about if you are very close to God? Oh, that is even when you attract them like bees.
Well, in one way, it’s also an orchestration of the devil to keep you distracted, un-focused, and disorganized.
If you wait to fight the set of people or pay them some attention, you might end up slowing yourself down.
How do you deal with this set of people?
Apostle Paul had someone like that! How did he deal with the person?
Let’s take a look.
2 Timothy 4:14-15 (KJV) Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works: [15] Of whom be thou ware also; for he hath greatly withstood our words.
So much evil was done to Apostle Paul. It must have been very painful for him to document it.
But what did he do? He handed him over to God.
Why is this the best thing to do?
It is the best to do because that will keep you away from unnecessary hurts and bitterness, which of course can hinder prayers.
It is also the best thing to do because God is a righteous judge and He can be trusted to retribute back to men according to His justice system, which cannot be faulted.
Did you learn something today? Have a fantastic day ahead of you!
Fireworks to Fizzle: Why Love Wanes and Butterflies Die
Comfort and Danny were so much in love when they met on campus. Their love seemed so genuine as they richly engaged in the public display of affection.
Their love was contagious such that those who saw them fell in love with their love!
It was a story of “till death do us part: until they got married and discovered that death is even weak. There were other things that “did them part!”
No need to wait for death again, they were ready to part!
Fireworks to Fizzle: Why Love Wanes and Butterflies Die
The love has waned. The butterflies have injured their wings and some have died. The wine of love is dissipated and nobody wants to refill. The fickle feelings could no longer be tickled.
Their mere appearance to each other used to lighten their countenance now brings gloom.
What happened?
One of the things that happened to Danny and Comfort is that their love was purely romance-based. They did not understand Agape love.
So when different things kicked in, the romance flew out of the window and their love collapsed like a pack of cards.
While Romance is essential, do not ignore the book of Romans!
Fireworks to Fizzle: Why Love Wanes and Butterflies Die
The agape love is God’s kind of love that is unconditional!
This love is so powerful because it is the very nature of God. It is a love that forgives quickly, that doesn’t do tit for tat, that loves irrespective of weaknesses.
The Agape loves decides to love whether there is feeling or not.
The agape love can’t see side chicks. The agape love is too focused to entertain any distraction.
The agape love doesn’t cheat. The agape love simply loves their spouse without apologies.
This is what sustains marriage after a wedding! The wind may blow, the storm may rage, and the butterflies may disappear, but ensure you stay grounded on agape love and you will be good!
agapaō
Definition: of persons: to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly to love, value, esteem, feel or manifest generous concern for, be faithful towards; to delight in, to set store upon
True love is never a straight course. On, there are winding roads, there are stops, there are resting places there are places for refuel, there are moments of flat tires, there are moments of complete engine breakdown.
The good news? If you stay together, you easily navigate this stormy and windy moment of the marital journey.
Still, on the scripture, we looked at yesterday,
Song of Solomon 2:1-2 (KJV) I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. [2] As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
Exploring the Trajectory of True Love
Lily of the Valley and the Rose of Sharon are two separate plants with distinctive traits.
Hibiscus syriacus, sometimes known as the rose of Sharon, is a blooming shrub that normally reaches heights of 8 to 10 feet. It produces big, spectacular blooms in the late summer and early fall. The flowers are available in several hues, such as white, pink, blue, and purple.
Whereas, the perennial herbaceous lily of the valley reaches a height of 6 to 12 inches. Little bell-shaped flowers that bloom in the spring can be found on them.
In the same way, you will not always gain the height in marriage. Yes, there will be high moments, as the rose of Sharon, but there will also be low moments as the lily of the valleys.
Rose or lily, your love must be constant and unchanging!
True love ensures you do not abandon your spouse when they come with the garb of the lily of the valley! Rather you join hands together, to navigate your way out of the valley!
Exploring the Trajectory of True Love
For singles, looking for roses and avoiding the lilies is a mistake, because in no time, the rose lover may soon find themselves in the lily moments and vice versa. It is important to love the person and not just the shape, fragrance, and aroma of the rose.
The hips will not always be like that. The lips change sizes during pregnancy. Figure eight often morphs into figure football!
Stop looking for the rose, look for God’s direction. It is only God that knows the rose that will still “rose” you fifty years down the line!
Ade and Sade! What a rhyme in their nomenclature! The rotundity of her backside gives you goose pimples. The strength of veins in his arm tickled your insides. Their love seemed made out of the very heavens, when they met! Everything seemed to click. The lips, hips and tips all fell in place! Their heats would vibrate upon setting eyes on each other! They eventually got married, and then the winds and the storms arrived in quick successions. Their love were tried. They vacillated between the cross road of “ Irreconcilable differences” and “My marriage will not crash”
Their love became doubtful. They spoke angrily to each other. Hot words were thrown as arrows, causing damages within.
What happened?
The Rose and The Lily of Our Love Life
They started with the rose but could not handle the lily!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
The rose of Sharon talks about the beauty, the effulgence of cuteness and prettiness all rolled together. This is what often bring you together.
You so much loved one another that nobody else existed. Even God was sometimes put at bay! Baba nla mistake!
You both wanted to stay with the fragrance, shape and the aroma of the rose! The rotundity of her backside gives you goose pimples. The strength of veins in his arm tickled your insides.
Life seems like a perpetual ecstasy!
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The Rose and The Lily of Our Love Life
I remember promising my fiancee back then, in 1996, after I asked her out, that I will never quarrel with her, because I loved her so much. Was I drunk? Probably drunk in love!
Have we quarrelled? Ha! O ti poju! You start promising all kind of impossible things because of rush or adrenalin.
Till you discover that life is mountain and valleys!
The problem is that there are no roses in the valleys! You would be inundated with lilies!
Song of Solomon 2:1-2 (KJV) I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. [2] As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
Surrounded by marital thorns, you became overwhelmed.
You now begin to ask funny questions.
Did I really hear God?
Haba! You did not hear God and you went down the aisle, forsook, your parents, dropped their names and took another, cried some crocodile tears on wedding day, and exploded into joy and laughter as you proceeded to honey moon!
Haba! You heard God! Or who did you hear before you took all that risk!
Life is about roses and lilies! Mountains and Valleys!
In the valley, stay together and navigate your way back to the Mountain!
Don’t drop your spouse because the roses seemed to have died and you are choked in between thorns!
Marriage is about staying other, through thick and thin!
This matter is deep o, but I will rest it here and we will still visit it!
Sister Sade can pray for Africa. She prays so much that people drop prayer points with her. What about Bro Sunday? He can pray from Sunday to Sunday!
It was said of Bro. Sunday that when he was praying, he can stay in one spot and be vibrating his head for seven hours straight!
There was also this brother that loves to pray on the roadside and would often wander into the bush still praying. The day he impregnated one precious sister was when we knew he had other missions in that bush he would always enter!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
There is frustration with a lot of people who pray but really do not get answers!
A lot of married couples pray, but are just doing it religiously because a tenth of their prayers was not really answered!
What could be wrong?
Let’s take a look at the scripture!
Matthew 6:7-9 (MSG)
[7] “The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. [8] Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. [9] With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, Reveal who you are.
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Strengthening Your Bond: From Prayer to Forever
Take a look at what we can get from the above scripture:
Amazing! Prayer warriors can be prayer ignorant!
Formulas, programmes, advice, and peddling techniques will not work in prayer
It says all that above is nonsense
You are dealing with a Father, not a tyrant of some stranger god!
God knows what you need, better than you know it!
God loves
Prayer begins with “Who He is,” not “give me this or that!”
Having identified the above, what can you get from there? I am sure the Holy Spirit will reveal a lot of things to you, but what I want to point out is this:
In prayer, it is more of a relationship with God than requests for something!
You are dealing with a father!
Strengthening Your Bond: From Prayer to Forever
Go after that fellowship, the revelation of His person, a friendship with divinity, spend time in His presence seeking to know Him in relationships or marriage, and a whole lot of prayers would be answered.
You begin to know God as one that could do exceedingly abundantly above all you can ASK of THINK!
Don’t just ask and run off! Seek Him. Pant after Him! Genuinely, and you will begin to break the seals and the scrolls will be shown to you!
The Nigerian political landscape has been busiest in the past weeks, culminating in the presidential election that is almost concluded, as it relates to collation and eventual announcement!
It is also understandable that the entire populace is divided among the four top contestants in their choice of who should be there. I am not here to support any candidate but to provide some guidance at such times as this!
The speculation is also that there has been rigging and that INEC is compromised.
For believers, I have one scripture for you this morning and I will point out a few things.
First, read the following Scripture in KJV, Amplified and The Message Translation.
Dan 4:17 (KJV) This matter is by the decree of the watchers, and the demand by the word of the holy ones: to the intent that the living may know that the most High ruleth in the kingdom of men, and giveth it to whomsoever he will, and setteth up over it the basest of men.
Dan 4:17 (AMPC) This sentence is by the decree of the [heavenly] watchers and the decision is by the word of the holy ones, to the intent that the living may know that the Most High [God] rules the kingdom of mankind and gives it to whomever He will and sets over it the humblest and lowliest of men.
Dan 4:17 (MSG) The angels announce this decree, the holy watchmen bring this sentence, So that everyone living will know that the High God rules human kingdoms. He arranges kingdom affairs however he wishes, and makes leaders out of losers.
He Rules, He Decides, But Let The Watchers Arise!
So we can see the following:
1. There is an announcement from heaven of who should be the President. The announcement of heaven might be different from the announcement on earth!
2. There is a part for the watchers to play and it is never too late. This role is an unending intercession, as watchers.
In fact, the Message Translation says the angels announce, but the watchers bring the sentence to reality!
3. All will know at the end that God rules in the affairs of this nation, regardless of any anomaly that is playing out.
4. God will eventually give this presidency to whom He will. No man, I repeat, no mortal man will subvert the will of God if THE WATCHERS play their role!
5. God can make leaders out of losers! That one is deep. See it above in The Message Translation!
So my dear people, let’s continue to intercede. We are called to be intercessors, not interlocutors.
Let’s do our job as watchers and leave the rest to God.
When Life Hits Pause: Here Are Restart Buttons In experiencing delays or stagnation, we often resort to prayers as singles or married. However, there is an additional thing you should do with praying, you are to watch.
Mat 26:41 (KJV) Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
To watch is to be on guard. To gather your faculties is what it implies. Think, reflect, examine yourself, and take the required steps to determine what could be the cause of the delay. What do you watch out for?
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
When Life Hits Pause: Here Are Restart Buttons
Here are two of them.
1. Watch Your Attitudes Let’s address singles first. Attitude is a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person’s behavior.
It is all about you and what makes you do certain things at any given time.
A wrong attitude can drive promising potential spouses away. Bad attitudes deter.
Before you start to pray, ensure that you have worked or are working on your attitude.
Bad attitudes will lead to breakups one after the other.
Here are a few scriptures on attitudes that can help and that you should meditate on.
Php 2:14-15 (KJV) Do all things without murmurings and disputings: [15] That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;
Col 3:23 (AMP) Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as [ something done ] for the Lord and not for men,
Pro 17:22 (AMP) A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
In marriage, do not allow bad attitudes to create loopholes for the devil which he can exploit to bring delay to different aspects of your marriage.
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When your spouse is making an effort after a disagreement or quarrel, do not reciprocate with annoying attitude. It is like dribbling the ball backward. Remember, you are a team. Your spouse is not the problem, the devil is!
When Life Hits Pause: Here Are Restart Buttons
2. Watch Your Preparation
Nobody will be fully prepared or ready for marriage, but there should be a certain level or preparedness.
Pro 18:22 (KJV) Whoso findeth a wife…
Not he who findeth a sister or a woman…
That shows that a lady should learn what it means to be a wife, a helper before venturing into it.
Do you really know what it means to be a helper?
Have you read books on communication, temperament, etc?
Are you ready to be a wife and not a knife?
The same applies to a man.
Are you ready to be responsible?
Are you ready to raise a family?
Do you have the spiritual clout to head and lead a family?
Without adequate preparation, delay can easily creep in.
If God sees that a marriage at an earlier time will destroy you, God himself would throw a monkey wrench in the whole thing, because He doesn’t want evil to befall you.
Your preparation actually enhances the speed at the end of it all.
As married couples, your preparation continues. Do not sweep issues under the carpet. Face issues and be scientific as well as spiritual with them. Read books, search for answers, and find out how you can constantly improve yourself!
From Conflict to Connection: Using Gentle Responses
By the power of the Holy Spirit, I want to share with you something this morning that will help us avoid conflicts that might cause contention, malice, hurts, and offenses in our relationships and marriages.
It appears to be extremely easy because, in my experience, simple yet deep things are what lead to tremendous success in life. While they are straightforward, they are not simple to execute. We shouldn’t be having problems in our marriages if they were so simple.
We are unable to bring ourselves to do so, though, due to our pride, ego, human impulses, selfishness, lack of patience, and understanding.
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
From Conflict to Connection: Using Gentle Responses
I’m referring to our reactions here. How you and your spouse or fiance converse. In every moment, the way you respond is crucial.
In reality, the way we respond determines how things will go. The actual words that are said are not as significant as our reactions and attitudes.
Pro 15:1 KJV A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
As a partner, we should be particularly mindful of our reactions. Never let your answer as a wife come from a place of rage. Find out what a gentle response entails.
Find out what a kind response is as a spouse. Instead of demonstrating that you “are the son of your father” or the “man of the house,” it is preferable to turn away wrath in your marriage.
Does that imply that I shouldn’t respond severely to my wife or husband when they speak to me? That is, after all, what the verse is stating.
That is quite challenging. That is why I previously stated that something simple does not automatically make it simple to perform.
From Conflict to Connection: Using Gentle Responses
It requires our knowledge, judgment, and perseverance.
You must decide if you want to maintain your ego and correct your wife or husband brutally or whether you want to learn how to provide a “soft answer.”
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No matter how much you might want to respond brutally, resist the urge and instead to respond gently instead. God will intervene and divert the rage, struggle, disagreement, offense, and malice that will cause harm and an implacable spirit if He can get one spouse to respond gently.
From Conflict to Connection: Using Gentle Responses
As singles, if you are already being abused and battered with words that are like arrows, you might need to consider counseling, By no means should you keep quiet and continue with wedding plans without addressing such abuses. Everything you are seeing before the wedding is a snapshot of the reality that awaits you. If you are not happy as a single in courtship, a wedding will not change anything!
How to Get Back on Your Feet After Disappointments
Everything will work out for your benefit.
Stop the regret bile by wiping your tears. Since you love God and are in His will, all things will work together for good, according to the Lord’s word.
Despite all the demands, you refused to compromise and remained true to His will, yet it still did not happen. Listen, it is genuinely occurring, you simply are not seeing it.
God’s invisible arm is hard at work behind the scenes, manipulating events and coincidences to work in your favor.
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Rom 8:28, KJV
You can never lose when you believe in God!
How to Get Back on Your Feet After Disappointments
2. Forget about the past.
“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history.” (Isa 43:18, MSG)
You were, indeed, dumped. You were, indeed, abandoned. Indeed, you believed, but it did not occur, and so forth.
God refers to them as “old history!” Because that is exactly what they are. What God is going to perform in your life will erase every unpleasant event!
Forget them, abandon them, and quit obsessing about what didn’t work. Keep an eye out for what is going to happen and allow your trust to be renewed in Him, who is faithful, capable, and will never disappoint!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
How to Get Back on Your Feet After Disappointments
3. Look, I’m trying something new.
“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.” (Isa 43:19, KJV)
Yes, something new is happening to you! Believe it!
You must be vigilant. This is not the moment to respond with “absent!” Now is not the time to give up your devotionals or quit attending church.
It’s bursting at the seams! Do you not see it? There you have it! That is occurring right now for you!
How to Get Back on Your Feet After Disappointments
4. Seek Him through fasting and prayer.
“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” (2Ch 7:14, KJV)
As you fast, get ready for yokes to be broken and burdens to be lifted. God said He will hear you from heaven, He will forgive you your sins and there will be healing.
It is time to get the title deed for everything you are believing God for in the next year!
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
How to Get Back on Your Feet After Disappointments
5. Never stop believing
“When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, “You’re going to have a big family, Abraham!”” (Rom 4:18, MSG)
The devil may flood your intellect with doubts, but never allow them enter your heart.
Remember what Jesus said: “To him who believes, all things are possible.”
How to Get Back on Your Feet After Disappointments
6. Don’t ever get weary in giving!
“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” (Gal 6:9, KJV)
Some of the things you should never stop doing are giving, honouring God with your substance, supporting God’s work, and paying your tithe.
That scripture says there is a due season and that you will REAP if you FAINT NOT!
The key is not to get tired of giving. When you faint, you pass out! Then, the harvest is missed! That will not be your portion. Keep giving, keep honoring God.
6. Rejoice and again I say unto you, rejoice
“Rejoice in the Lord always [ delight, gladden yourselves in Him ]; again I say, Rejoice!
Rejoice, God’s people, no matter where you are right now. Rejoice in the fact that you are still alive. Listen, there are many people who married and then died!
The greatest gift is life itself. Your miracle will occur while you are still living. That door will swing open. You’ll get the job. Heaven will open its doors to you. Destiny’s helpers will appear for you. You will be remembered. His word over your life will come true!
Celebrate because your future is bright! It’s so brilliant right now that I need sunglasses to see it!
Continue to rejoice. And then there will be true joy. Blessed be the Lord’s name!
We, as a nation, have had many presidents and commanders-in-chief over the last few years. Each one is unique in personality, but also shares certain characteristics which make them who they are today. These characteristics are what make us love or maybe even hate certain presidents. Who knows, perhaps history will find one of these qualities in our next president?
A presidential candidate should be smart, strong, and charismatic. These are a few qualities you should look for in your ideal president.
10 Qualities of Your Ideal Presidential Candidate
Smart You want your next president to be intelligent and have an encyclopedic knowledge of the world. He or she will need to be able to think quickly on their feet and come up with solutions that others may not have thought of. They will also have to understand complex issues like global warming, terrorism, the economy, and more.
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
Strong Your president must be strong enough to face any challenge head-on, even if it means standing up against his own party. He or she must also possess patience and persistence when dealing with problems that may take months or years to resolve. He must be healthy, agile, and quick-witted.
Charismatic You want someone who exudes confidence and charisma when speaking with the public, as well as being able to connect with people from all walks of life. Your next president must also inspire hope through their words and actions so that Nigerians will continue working hard for their country’s future.
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
10 Qualities of Your Ideal Presidential Candidate
The following 10 traits are representative of the most important qualities in a good candidate.
1. He is sincere and authentic. He is not a rogue or criminal.
2. He is inspirational and has a vision. He knows where he is going and what he wants to do
3. He can inspire others with his sheer presence.
4. He has grit and perseverance
5. He can overcome adversity and obstacles that stand in his way
10 Qualities of Your Ideal Presidential Candidate
6. He is organized and strategic
7. He is respectful of others’ opinions and ideas
8. He is comfortable in his own skin so that he can relate to others’ situations on a personal level (and thus gain their trust)
9. He leads with integrity, honesty, and character so that he never compromises his principles or values for political gain or personal gain
10. He is principled, fair-minded, honest, humble, and compassionate
So go out there and vote for the above! May God help us all today and help us to choose a man after his heart!
Who are you going to vote for? There are three top contenders, namely Tinubu, Atiku and Obi.
Tinubu, is the old guard, experienced, a crazy war chest of resources, underestimate him at your own risk. He probably understands “Nigerian politics” more than them all. He is also probably the only political mentor who contested with his mentees at the primaries! He is the undisputable kingmaker who now wants to be king! The originator of “Emilokan”
Atiku is the former vice president, who has been contesting for years to have a bite at the Number one spot at Aso Rock but has been unlucky so far. His influence comes mostly from the core North. He is a serial presidential aspirant for many years.
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
Obi, though over sixty, is the youngest of them all. He is the new kid in town, the outsider, who has gained incredible traction among those who are tired of the mainstream political parties. He is never to be underestimated, because never in the history of Nigeria has there been renewed hope through the possibility of his emergence as the president of Nigeria. He is the leader of the “obedient” and many of our Eastern brothers believe it’s their time. However, his support goes beyond the east, surprisingly.
So Pastor, who should I vote for?
The entire populace is separated into these three major groups, and they are divided emotionally and politically as well.
Whom you vote for or who receives the most votes will be elected President of Nigeria.
Perhaps, this would also be the election in which vote buying will be mostly minimized, as occasioned by the present cash crunch in the country. Hopefully, things will get better from next week. This also seems to be that election where the three top politicians have no godfathers!
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
This Is Who You Should Vote For
Whoever we decide mostly for will be foisted over more than 200 Million people!
His policies will be given due consideration! He will make the decision for us. He will be in charge of us.
His views and policies will either whittle us away or build us up. His intelligence and cognitive habits will limit us or cause us to fly.
He will make the decision for us. He will append his signatures to either benefit or harm us and future generations!
Who is that person that will not sell us? Who is that person that will not betray us? Who is that person who is truly a servant leader among them? Think deeply.
This Is Who You Should Vote For
Think before you vote!
Who you vote for has authority over your life through the policies and choices made at the national level.
Rom 6:12 (MSG) That means you must not give sin a vote…
Whoever you give the vote for will rule over you.
Vote your conscience. Vote for integrity. Do not vote tribe. Do not vote for regions. Vote competence.
Who is likely to get there with a mission not to steal, amass wealth and rob us blind? Who has the least corruption issues? Who is the shrewd one?
God knows all things, but who is likely to be fit in the next eight years? Who will you likely be proud of as your president in another eight years?
Unraveling The Economy of Sealed Things. There are sealed things concerning your relationship and marriage!
The attendant puzzles and enigmas that surround your relationship and your marriage are not hidden from you but for you!
These things are sealed, and they are not stumbled upon, nay, they must be pressed into and tinkered with in a deliberate pursuit of the divine!
Many are befuddled because they are laid back in the things of God, just barely scratching the surface and never diving into the deep!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
Unraveling The Economy of Sealed Things
There are sealed things! These sealed things hold the key to the next phase of your life, the specific instruction surrounding your destiny activation are encapsulated in the seal!
The seal has to be broken!
Just like the woman cannot bear children or be fruitful until her seal is broken, ideally by the husband within holy matrimony, there are some levels of fruitfulness that would never be engaged until you learn to break the seal in the place of prayers and worship!
Rev 6:3 (KJV) And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see.
There are things you will never see until the seal is opened.
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Unraveling The Economy of Sealed Things
Perhaps, the misunderstandings and puzzles that have attended your relationship or marriage are “attention getters” to draw you into the place where seals are opened!
Perhaps, the misbehaviors of your fiancee or your spouse will remain a perpetual frustration until you learn to open the seal with your worship and prayer!
The seals are never opened with strife, fights, trivialities, and frivolities!
They can only be opened by the deliberate pursuit of the divine, that the humane may find his expression within the bracket of that which is written in the seal.
Without the seal opened, the equation is incomplete, the relationship and marriage become experimental and guinea pigs are made out of humans!
Will you pay the price to open the seal? To know why they don’t get married early in your family? To know why there is delayed childbirth? To know why there seems to be a limit on prosperity? To know why the women in the family never stay long enough with their husbands?
These things are sealed for you, not from you and each seal opened is a victory attained, not only for you but for you, your spouse, your children, and generations locked within your laps!
I challenge you this day, separate, and begin to lactate in the milk of the word, press further till you begin to masticate the meat of the word, and be drawn further into the chambers of God where you can begin to open to seals of relationship and marriage!
Are you willing to open the seals? Get into deep prayers and worship over that issue!
Physical love, such as hugs, kisses, and holding hands, is highly valued by many women. Take the time to show her how much you care with simple acts of devotion. Non-sexual touches can be powerful and will communicate that it’s not only sex you want.
On the other hand, singles are to refrain from unnecessarily touching one another as this will continually graduate. There is a law of progression as it relates to sex that states what you did the last time will not satisfy you the next time you meet. So, singles are to deliberately draw boundaries in their relationships and put their bodies under them!
Learn to lovingly grab her hand, embrace her, and tell her you love her!
Three Foolproof Tips To Make Her Feel Special
2. Don’t be Boring, Keep The Surprise Button On!
Surprising your wife with kind gestures, such as organizing a date night, giving her flowers, or making her favorite meal. These are great ways to show her you care. That demonstrates that you care and you are prepared to go out of your way to make her happy.
Everyone enjoys surprises, even singles. Plan surprise gestures to show her your affection, without looking out for sex, which is usually the goal of most singles.
We must forget that a relationship that is sex driven is already being established on a faulty foundation, and there is no way that marriage will not be shaky at the end of the day!
Three Foolproof Tips To Make Her Feel Special
3. Offer a Helping Hand at Home!
Give assistance: Your wife is most likely juggling several duties, such as job, housework, and kid care. Offer to assist her with things that will lessen her load, such as cleaning the dishes, food shopping, or transporting the children to school. Little gestures like these may go a long way toward making your wife feel appreciated and valued.
As singles, help out with academics, careers, and in many other ways. She doesn’t need your help on the bed yet! Get that clear.
