The cornerstone of any enduring relationship is a strong foundation with God. He provides the stability and strength needed to weather life’s challenges.
2. Wisdom in Relationships
Wisdom is essential in every aspect of life, including relationships. Seek wisdom from God’s word, as it holds the key to understanding and sustaining healthy relationships.
3. Timing Matters
Timing is Crucial. Don’t rush into a relationship too hastily. Premature relationships often lead to premature endings. Exercise patience and wait for the right time.
4. Preparation is Key
Let God Prepare You. God often uses experiences and people with similar temperaments of your spouse to prepare you for the relationship you desire. Allow Him to guide you through this preparatory journey.
5. Foundational Values
Respect and Submission are Fundamental Respect, honor, and submission are non-negotiable components of a successful marriage. Embrace these values to nurture a lasting bond with your partner.
If you are not ready to love your wife unconditionally, you are not ready for marriage
If you are not ready to submit and honour him as you head, you are also not ready for marriage.
Rather than attempting to change your partner, focus on being an influential and positive force in their life. Transformation happens through influence, not coercion.
7. The Power of Prayer
Harness the Strength of Prayer. Prayer is vital in maintaining a healthy relationship. Don’t wait for crises to pray; build a foundation of prayer to navigate challenges together.
8. Sacrifices for Love
There has to be a Willingness to Make Sacrifices. Relationships often require sacrifices, both big and small. Be prepared to make these sacrifices to strengthen your bond with your partner.
9. Be Teachable and Meek
Embrace a Teachable Spirit. Approach your relationship with humility and a desire to learn. Recognize that you don’t have all the answers, and God places you in relationships to grow and learn.
10. The Role of Leadership
Understanding Your Partner’s Headship
Comprehend the role of your husband as the head of the relationship. This understanding is key to respecting and nurturing the relationship.
Eph 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
If I were to visit your home, would the echoes from the walls of your bedroom, kitchen, and living room be a jumble of murmuring and complaints? Of dissatisfaction, unrest, and anxiety?
Oh no! Don’t get into that subtle trap of the enemy of our soul who steals, kills, and destroys by whispering thoughts, words, and fiery darts of ungratefulness to God!
You are still single? Yes, I know.
You are still waiting on God for the fruit of the womb?
You are still unable to kick off that business?
That dream remained on paper still, never finding the route to physical expression.
The list is endless!
But can I tell you something? Will you give me a minute of your time?
I have a word from the Lord this morning!
God is a God of last-minute miracles!
The year is almost ended, but God is not operating by our calendar! He loves to surprise with last-minute miracles and yours will not be an exception before this year ends!
This is what God showed me this morning and it is for you!
Luk 17:15 (KJV) And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,
You sure remember this story!
Only one came back!
Check it out in this translation!
Luk 17:15 (MSG) One of them, when he realized that he was healed, turned around and came back, SHOUTING HIS GRATITUDE, glorifying God.
Wow! Shout your gratitude this month and you will be made whole!
Luk 17:19 (KJV) And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole.
Because he came back with gratitude, Jesus told, him, you are made WHOLE!
As we get filled with gratitude daily, we will be made whole and we will see last-minute miracles!
Let words of thanksgiving, thankfulness, and gratefulness emanate from your soul to the living God and you will see His wonders this month!
So she followed him home or to some guest house for a meal.
Let’s just eat out.
May we not dine with the wrong person.
May we not eat up our destinies.
The guy had more plans than just the meal.
Son 2:4 (MSG) He took me home with him for a festive meal, but his eyes feasted on me!
Ladies, be careful who buys free meals for you, you might be paying for it soonest.
Rather than for the guy to feast on the meal, his eyes were riveted on the damsel.
Essentially, men are moved by sight. Men, watch what you see. Ladies, watch what is seen.
For The Sisters, Ladies and Wives
The Reciprocity of the Feasting
Son 2:5 (MSG) Oh! Give me something refreshing to eat—and quickly! Apricots, raisins—anything. I’m about to faint with love!
Ladies are enthralled by attention and non-verbal expressions of love.
She was going to faint with love. She felt more important as the guy refused to satisfy his hunger pangs and focused on his lust pangs.
She felt special, but there was a mix-up Their goals are different. The lady wants care, attention, and love. The guy wants a bedroom tango, period!
The contradiction of goals results in confusion of the soul. Two cannot walk together except they be agreed.
For The Sisters, Ladies and Wives
The Physicality of The Desires
Son 2:6 (MSG) His left hand cradles my head, and his right arm encircles my waist!
In no time, his manifesto begins in aggressive fulfillment of intentions.
The left hand should be busy with the meal but travels to the head and cradles it lovingly or “lustingly?”
The right hand encircles the waist. Desire travels into blood veins.
The heart races and gallops like a horse who just sighted waters! The rush of adrenaline colliding with dopamine!
Hey! Destinies are about to be ruptured. Glorious futures are about to be tainted. Promising ministry hopefuls are about to morph into miseries!
For The Sisters, Ladies and Wives
The Stirring and the Warning
Son 2:7 (MSG) Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
Oh, there comes a warning! Don’t do it. Don’t excite love!
In a moment, his voice and words are so gentle and caressing, the next moment, his biceps pins you to the wall in a wicked hold, because love has been excited. Be warned!
Eh singles, the time is not ripe. You are not ready! Don’t let the “glee” take over the “flee!” It is time to flee!
Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer…
The gazelles and the wild deer know how to run from the enemy! Run! Flee!
Married couples, what would you be doing in a guest house with someone you are not married to?
Don’t go to that guest house or hotel again. Don’t go and meet him on campus again. Don’t frolic with him in the office again. Don’t take his money again, because his money controls you.
Take a cue from the gazelles and the wild deer. When they see the lion crouching, they take off. They are not ready to be preyed upon.
Don’t be a prey! Dear sisters, caution! Dear wives, caution!
God will guide you and the heavens will assist you!
Son 2:3-7 (MSG) As an apricot tree stands out in the forest, my lover stands above the young men in town. All I want is to sit in his shade, to taste and savor his delicious love.
Well, born again or not, there is a strong desire that comes with falling in love.
If you like, speak in tongues till tomorrow, this desire will not go.
But what can be subdued is lust that often wants to tag along, like Lot tagged along with Abraham.
Yes, the desire will not go, because there is nothing wrong with the desire, it is the fulfillment of the desire at the wrong time that gets us into trouble.
So, all you want when you fall in love is to sit down in each other’s shade, with feelings of wanting to taste and savor the delicious love.
The Strong Desire That Comes With Love
I felt like that. She felt like that. But we waited. You can wait as well.
No matter how intense the desire is, do not taste that love before the wedding.
Tasting love and consummating your love before the wedding is like stealing a lump of hot meat from the pot of stew before it is ready.
Your taste bud gets burnt and you can lose your sense of taste, which ultimately leads to tasting more pot of stew that doesn’t belong to you!
If you have already started doing this as singles, then there is a clarion call this morning to stop and now get yourself onto unnecessary problems that are never part of your destiny!
The Strong Desire That Comes With Love
For married couples, you are licensed to sit in his shade, to keep tasting, relishing, and delighting in each other’s love! What is forbidden here is looking outside for pleasure. You are now married, you can admire others but shouldn’t desire them.
You now need to focus on the one you have married and pleasure one another. To look outside is not only greed and covetousness but also lust, which your maker frowns at! Dear husband, dear wife, FOCUS!
In life, there are moments when it feels like everything is falling apart. Times when doubt creeps in, and it seems like there’s no way out. Marital problems, challenging relationships, and seemingly endless struggles can leave us feeling trapped and hopeless. It’s in these moments that some people give up on hope and stop praying. They start to believe that there is no way out. Job searches become futile, and well-meaning individuals reinforce the idea that there’s no brighter future. But is it the end of the road?
Embracing Hope Amidst Adversity
When multiple voices join in, all echoing the same sentiment that there’s no help from God, what should you do? Even when it feels like God has abandoned you, and others question your faith, there’s a message of hope to be found.
The 3rd Psalm, verse 2 (KJV) speaks to this very issue, “Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God.”
When your circumstances push you to the brink, it’s easy to feel abandoned by God. You may have even asked yourself, “God, where are you?”
But, let me convey a message of hope to you today. The very next verse, Psalm 3:3 (KJV), reads, “But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.”
It’s crucial to remember that God’s perspective is different from human judgment.
Dear Pastor, Is There A Way Out For Me?
The Power of Faith
No matter what others say, with God, all odds can be overcome. The Lord serves as your shield, your source of glory, and the one who will lift your head. When people try to lift your head, they will soon realize it’s a job reserved for Jehovah alone. Men may believe they cannot offer any help, but the Lord is different.
The distinction between “God” and “Lord” is deliberate. If God is your Lord, you can find solace knowing that it’s only a matter of time before He lifts your head. “God” is a universal term, but “Lord” signifies a personal commitment.
When you declare, “He is my Lord,” you are affirming that He is your owner. You belong to Him, and He will lift your head in every area where it’s bowed. In times of struggle and shame, God will intervene.
God is the lifter of your head, and you’re destined for victory.
Just think about Joseph, who went from being a prisoner to a prime minister.
Consider Rahab, a harlot who became the great-grandmother of Jesus.
David, a shepherd boy, and forgotten sibling, rose to become a king.
Jabez became more honorable when God lifted his head. Even an illiterate Nigerian bread seller was featured on CNN after God intervened.
When God raises your head, remarkable transformations occur. The possibilities are endless, and God’s blessings know no bounds.
Dear Pastor, Is There A Way Out For Me?
A New Beginning
What can’t God do? Your life is about to take a new turn. Doors will open, jobs will become realities, and promotions will follow. Your wedding day is on the horizon, and the right partner will find you. Your marriage will be great and beautiful. You will hold your children in your arms. When God lifts your head, no one can bring it down.
Believe it. From today, the hand of the Lord will be evident in your life. Rejoice, for a new chapter is beginning in the name of Jesus.
In the realm of relationships, Christian women yearn for qualities in a man that harmonize seamlessly with their faith and principles. These qualities serve as the bedrock of a loving and harmonious partnership. Let’s delve into the five crucial attributes that a Christian lady or wife often seeks in a man, redefining the path to a deeply fulfilling relationship.
1. Being Spiritually Anchored
A Christian lady cherishes a man who is deeply rooted in his spirituality and actively pursues a closer connection with God. She longs for a partner who shares her unwavering faith, regularly attends church, and places spiritual growth at the forefront. A man who leads by example in his spiritual journey not only serves as a source of inspiration but also forges an unbreakable bond through shared faith and values. A man who fears the Lord will love appropriately and will not cheat.
Discovering The Desires of Every Lady
2. Integrity and Character
Integrity and character rank high among the virtues that Christian women seek in a man. They yearn for a companion who embodies honesty, kindness, and respect in every aspect of life. A man of unwavering character makes choices guided by the teachings of the Bible, instilling a sense of security and trust in the relationship.
3. Emotional Support
Christian women value a man who offers unwavering emotional support and comprehends the significance of transparent communication. They seek a partner who listens intently, extends compassion, and provides encouragement during both moments of joy and adversity. Effective communication is a cornerstone for building a profound emotional connection.
A Christian lady yearns for a man who holds the sanctity of marriage in high regard and is committed to nurturing a strong family unit. She desires a partner willing to invest time and effort into cultivating a loving and enduring relationship. A man who prioritizes his role as a husband and a potential father showcases his profound understanding of the pivotal role of family within the Christian context.
Discovering The Desires of Every Lady
5. Humility and Selflessness
Humility and servitude are virtues that resonate deeply with Christian women when it comes to a man. They aspire to be with someone who wholeheartedly serves others, mirroring the selfless example set by Jesus. A humble man recognizes that true leadership is manifested through service to others and is eager to prioritize the needs of his family and community over his own.
It’s imperative to remember that entering into relationships with an open heart and profound respect for individual preferences is paramount. While these qualities align with the desires of many Christian women and wives, it’s important to acknowledge that every individual is unique, and personal preferences may naturally vary.
May this guide serve as a compass, helping you gain insight into what Christian women often seek in a man who shares their unwavering faith and values.
In this devotional, we will explore the secrets to finding and maintaining a lasting love, for both singles and married individuals.
Love is a universal desire, but where and how do you find it, and once you have it, how do you keep it alive? Let’s delve into the keys to a successful and enduring relationship.
1. Finding Your Ideal Partner
Proverbs 19:14 (AMP) tells us that, “House and riches are the inheritance from fathers, but a wise, understanding, and prudent wife is from the Lord.”
In essence, a truly wise and prudent partner is a divine gift.
Seeking Divine Guidance
Your journey to finding a life partner begins with building a meaningful relationship with God. To secure a prudent spouse, you must first establish a strong connection with the Divine.
It is only logical that if you desire a wise and understanding partner, you must seek this through your relationship with God.
Choosing Wisely
The Bible suggests that there are both prudent and foolish individuals. The choice you make will have a profound impact on your life.
To ensure you make the right choice, trust in God to guide your path. Remember, your choice of a life partner can either elevate or undermine your happiness.
Married but Unhappy?
If you’re already married and are facing difficulties in your relationship, don’t rush to judgment.
Sometimes, we may perceive our partners differently from their true selves. If you believe your spouse lacks prudence, consider revisiting your connection with God.
Seek His guidance and wisdom to navigate your marriage’s challenges and also seek therapy when necessary
2. Building a Harmonious Home
Proverbs 21:19 (KJV) advises, “It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman.”
This verse underscores the vital role a wife plays in creating a peaceful atmosphere at home.
Creating a Home, Not Just a House
A woman possesses the unique capacity to transform a house into a loving and serene home. It is within her power to set the tone for the entire household, making it a welcoming and pleasant place.
Avoiding Destructive Behavior
When a wife displays contentious, nagging, or angry behaviors, she risks driving her husband away.
Such actions can lead to a strained and unfulfilling relationship, pushing the man to avoid spending time at home.
It is crucial for both partners to create a loving and supportive environment.
The Importance of Understanding
Men often deal with internal struggles and decision-making processes differently from women.
They might choose to remain silent when faced with dilemmas. Instead of pressuring them to speak up, grant them the space and time needed to find a resolution on their own.
Respect his silence as he contemplates his choices.
For singles, addressing anger is crucial. Frequent displays of anger can discourage potential partners.
Men are generally logical and will consider how anger issues may affect their future together. It’s essential to work on anger management and self-improvement.
Seek Wisdom
The book of Ecclesiastes 7:9 (MSG) advises, “Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.”
Anger has the potential to destroy relationships. Remember that anger can hinder the growth of a God-ordained love affair.
In conclusion, the key to finding and keeping the love of your life lies in building a strong relationship with God and fostering a harmonious home environment.
By seeking divine guidance and practicing understanding, you can ensure a long-lasting and joyful partnership.
Addressing anger issues and working on self-improvement are essential for singles looking to embark on a successful relationship journey.
In today’s world, it’s not uncommon to hear statements like, “I cannot marry a man who doesn’t have a car,” or “He must be rich, otherwise, no wedding!”
These sentiments seem to dominate conversations these days, but it’s essential to pause and reflect on what truly matters in a relationship.
Rethinking Priorities in Marriage
It’s natural to desire a comfortable life and a partner who is financially stable, but it’s vital to remember that your significant other should never be reduced to their financial status. Your life partner should not merely be a source of material wealth but a companion for life’s journey.
Unlocking True Love: His Purse
Love Beyond the Superficial
One common mistake people make is using a person’s financial standing as the primary determinant of their suitability for marriage.
Asking for material possessions like a car as a prerequisite for marriage is an approach that often leads to heartache. What if the car spoils after the wedding?
It’s crucial to differentiate between being in love with the person and being infatuated with their possessions.
Remember, you’re getting married to the man, not his ATM. Don’t let someone’s bank account dictate your decision to marry them or not, as the contents of the purse are not always permanent. Life is full of ups and downs, and wealth can come and go.
In the grand scheme of things, God knows the right person for you. The person He has in mind is part of His best plan for your life. This person won’t leave you as a widow or turn you into a punching bag.
Only God has the insight to find someone who will continue to love and support you even after fifty years of marriage.
It’s only God who can identify a man who can seamlessly balance the roles of a responsible husband and a loving father. He alone knows the potential of a financially struggling man who is destined for wealth and a wealthy man who might face financial setbacks.
Unlocking True Love: His Purse
Embracing God’s Purpose
Instead of allowing material wealth to take the forefront in your decision-making, prioritize God’s purpose for your life.
Remember, purpose outweighs wealth. A fat purse without a sense of purpose in life will eventually lose its significance.
Avoid falling into the trap of making money the central focus of your relationship decisions. Instead, give God the final say. He is the only one who truly knows what the future holds, and He can see things that human eyes cannot.
Before you inquire about someone’s bank account, seek to understand God’s account of that person. By doing so, you’ll make more informed and lasting choices in matters of the heart.
Conclusion
In the quest for true love and a fulfilling marriage, shifting the focus from material possessions to genuine compatibility and shared purpose is vital.
Trust in God’s plan, and you’ll be led to a partner who not only complements your life but also supports your journey toward a brighter future.
May God guide you in finding true love and reveal His plans for your life.
Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties Part 2. We started this yesterday and we will conclude this morning
4. Gifts
Gifts can symbolize a binding agreement within a soul tie. To break free from these ties, it’s necessary to eliminate any special gifts, such as rings, jewelry, or tokens that may carry symbolic significance. Disposing of these items is essential to sever any demonic connections they may represent.
5. Fasting and Prayer
Humbling your soul through fasting can weaken the bonds of soul ties. While fasting, you draw closer to divinity, and your spiritual ties are loosened. Engage in deliberate prayer, mentioning the name of the person involved, and sever all ties while declaring your freedom. Seek the support of a spiritual authority figure, such as a spiritual leader or pastor, to join you in this endeavor.
Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties Part 2
6. Break Vows with a Vow
Making a vow unto God by offering a seed can be a powerful way to break ungodly soul ties. Destroy any vows you’ve made by pledging a financial vow to God and His work. Seek God’s remembrance of your offering and ask for deliverance from all ungodly and demonic strongholds.
Psa 50:14-15 (KJV) Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High: [15] And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.
7. Praise
Consistent praise to God empowers you in the spiritual realm. Praise equips you with a spiritual sword, allowing you to exercise judgment over the works of the devil in your life. Through praise, you can execute the judgment written against all wickedness.
Psa 149:6-9 (KJV) Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a twoedged sword in their hand; [7] To execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people; [8] To bind their kings with chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron; [9] To execute upon them the judgment written: this honour have all his saints. Praise ye the LORD.
In conclusion, I declare, as a servant of the Lord, that every unhealthy soul tie is broken in the name of Jesus.
Through the power of praise and spiritual intervention, you are now free from the snares that once bound you. Be blessed.
Today, we are focusing on how to break free from them. Let’s delve into the steps to break these soul ties.
1. Repentance:
The initial and crucial step in breaking unhealthy soul ties is to repent. This repentance should encompass any sins, iniquities, or disobedience associated with the person you have a soul tie with. It’s essential to recognize that one cannot sever a soul tie while still engaging in any form of sexual sin with that person.
Repentance signifies a genuine desire for freedom and the willingness to let go of sin and disobedience. These negative elements only serve to strengthen the soul ties further.
Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties
2. Forgiveness:
In breaking unhealthy soul ties, forgiveness plays a dual role. Firstly, you need to forgive the other person involved in the soul tie, especially if you’ve discovered that they’ve been deceptive, manipulative, or have disrespected your dignity. Such experiences can be deeply hurtful and may lead to bitterness.
Secondly, you must also forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness can be a challenging endeavor, often necessitating the assistance of the Holy Spirit. For instance, victims of traumatic experiences like rape may find forgiveness difficult, yet scriptures affirm that total healing is unattainable until one learns to let go and let God. Holding onto bitterness only tightens the emotional bond between two souls.
Job 21:25 (KJV) And another dieth in the bitterness of his soul, and never eateth with pleasure.
Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties
3. Renunciation:
Soul ties are often established and can also be severed through the spoken word. Your words are powerful, as they are like spirits that never die. However, you can assert authority over these words. If you’ve made covenants, vows, or verbal commitments with the person you have a soul tie with, it’s imperative to renounce them.
Statements such as “I will die with you,” “I will love you forever,” or “I will never love anyone else but you” can be appropriate within a marital context but problematic when made to multiple partners simultaneously.
Pro 6:2 (KJV) Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth.
What is that one thing that is also important in considering who to marry? His faith is important.
Mostly because his faith will influence yours.
It is his faith in God, that will cause him to have the fear of God.
If he has the fear of God, he will never cheat on you.
He would rather protect you and care for you.
He would have the wisdom to live with you and raise a godly family because the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
Never ever get married to a man who has no regard for God.
It would be the greatest mistake ever!
Well, no matter how much you love him, no matter how much preparation you have made, no matter how much has been spent, if he does not have a relationship with God, pick your bags and bolt!
Run for your life.
Preserve your destiny with your choice.
2Co 6:14-15 (MSG) Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? [15] Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands?
In marriage, there is a “knowing” at the highest level as love is consummated.
The husband becomes the cover and the head of the family.
God forbids that the head is sick, for he would only transfer the sickness.
He can only give what he has.
God forbid that the head is foolish, he would only disseminate the foolishness and no more.
He would make foolish decisions and affect the wife and the children, and sometimes, the children’s children!
The mouth of the foolish poureth out foolishness.
Pro 15:2 (KJV) The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Pro 15:2 (MSG) Knowledge flows like spring water from the wise; fools are leaky faucets, dripping nonsense.
May you not have a leaky faucet of a head, dripping nonsense over your destiny!
Knowing Who To Marry
I tell you, as a counselor, that can be frustrating!
How beautiful is it, to have a praying man over your life, to have a man who is faithful to you, who will never cheat on you, not because he doesn’t feel like it but because he fears God!
You wouldn’t need to add the unrest, suspicion, insecurity, disagreements, and bickering that goes with knowing your spouse is cheating on you to your daily pressures.
Go for peace of mind.
If you are already married and have issues, please don’t give up too quickly. Pray and intercede! Go for therapy as well! Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate until it becomes too late!
Divorce is not always God’s direction unless life is threatened.
Take time to intercede and trust God for intervention and you will surely see the salvation of the Lord in Jesus name!
An Abusive Partner is more difficult to deal with in marriage than in courtship. In courtship, there is no legal binding of any sort and that means you can exit at will.
However, it is not so easy in marriage as there is legal bidding, a joining of bodies and the soul, a joining of families, and children born are also involved.
There are various types of abuse in marriage and abuse is at different levels. An abusive partner manipulates his/ her partner to gain control and oppress them.
There are different forms of abuse. There are different forms of emotional abuse like stonewalling, silent treatment, withdrawing love and affection, stalking, financial abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, using sensitive information or secrets to manipulate, blame shift, and the list goes on.
If you have an abusive partner you want to prioritize your safety and mental health. Whatever you do make sure you are not sucked into depression and other health issues as a result of your partner’s behaviour. You want to develop a coping mechanism while a lasting workable solution is being sorted out.
Since you are already married and joined together by covenant, I believe the first option is not to seek divorce but to seek a solution, unless your life is threatened.
You may find some of these tips helpful and applicable to your particular situation.
What if My Spouse Is Abusive?
1. Try to find out and understand why he/she is being abusive. Research through books to find out. Is it pressure, background, character flaws, or mental illness?
2. You want to seek God for wisdom and understanding through prayers and not complaining.
3. You want to develop a mechanism that will make you stronger than his/her abuses. Be strong in your spirit by being joyful and happy, and be financially independent. Let them know that you refuse to be abused.
4. Find a support group or system, for emotional support and know your right.
5. Talk to a counselor, a therapist, or a mentor, someone they respect and can listen to.
6. You want to be sure you are not doing things that will aggravate the situation
7. You want to change your perspective about the situation, that your partner needs help and you are being compassionate rather than being judgemental.
Like I said earlier in all these, your safety comes first. You might have to report to law enforcement agencies if physical abuse and threat to your life is involved.
But there are handsome men who are good men and faithful men.
That is what you should pray for, that is what you should trust God for, that is what you should aspire for, and that is what you should settle for.
The face is the pulchritude, the heart is the hidden man.
Find out about the hidden man before you fall in love with the face.
His behaviors will not come from his handsome face, they would take source from the heart.
Beware of the heart that despises God.
Never fall in love with such hearts.
Beware of the heart that mocks God.
Beware of the heart that belittles your God.
Beware of the heart that disregards your God.
If he can disregard your God, he will disregard you!
Beware of a handsome face sitting upon an ugly heart.
The ugliness would eventually extend to the face in no time.
Beware of the handsome man who wants you to compromise your faith in order to satisfy his rush of adrenaline.
Beware of the one that can combine an ugly heart with a handsome face.
Fine man, but he beats his wife!
Handsome man, but irresponsible!
Lord, give me a spouse handsome within and without.
Lord, give a spouse beautiful within and without.
I pray for you, God will honor your prayers!
You will not regret your actions in Jesus’ name.
You will not spend the major part of your life agonizing and living in pain over a fine face, but an ugly heart.
God will guide you, lead you, and honor you in Jesus’ name.
You will not miss it!
For those who are already married, God will make your union a beautiful one within and without.
Psa 144:12-14 (KJV) That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: [13] That our garners may be full, affording all manner of store: that our sheep may bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our streets: [14] That our oxen may be strong to labour; that there be no breaking in, nor going out; that there be no complaining in our streets.
Having a sexual relationship outside marriage is a sin in itself and God doesn’t approve of that kind of arrangement. However, within marriage, withholding intimacy is one way that a person can be abused emotionally, by using withdrawal to control the other person.
In the sanctity of a marriage relationship, you are not supposed to deny each other. The scriptures say that you should not defraud one another.
Married ladies should not use sex to punish their husbands as that may lead to more vulnerability.
Signs of Abusive Relationships Part 2
9. Words like arrows
Another sign of emotional manipulation is when you are called names, given unpleasant labels, derogatory nicknames, and the use of biting cutting remarks.
Words are powerful and you are what you hear everyday. A guy goes to Medical school, listens to medical classes for seven years and then becomes a Medical Doctor. The same thing with a lawyer.Invariably, you are what you are hearing. You should therefore not allow anybody to constantly pull you down and trample on your esteem all in the name of love.
Love will not constantly put you down! Love will not crush your esteem day after day. If one or more of these signs are prevalent in your relationship, you may need to pause and review it.
Listen to me, marriage does not change abusers. It is better to remain single and wait for the right person than to rush into a marriage with an abuser because of the pressures around you.
When the abuse takes a toll, all the people putting pressure will not be seen around you.
The last day you would see most of them is on your wedding day to eat your food!
As my wife would always says, you will live with your choice!
Signs of Abusive Relationships Part 2
10. Personal information
Lastly, abusers can often resort to using your personal information and secrets against you and to control you. This is why you have to beware of people who are always asking for your nude pictures.
Why would a person who claims to be a child of God be asking for your nude pictures?
There is something perverse about that.
Is it to masturbate or what? Or to sell the pictures? Young ladies, don’t ever send you nude pictures to anyone in the name of love.
He would eventually use your pictures to manipulate and control you, and when you call his bluff, you would find your nude pictures all over the internet.
Several young girls have committed suicide when they couldn’t bear with the shame of having their nude pictures and videos all over the internet. So, don’t ever make that mistake.
Remember the scripture we saw earlier? Your souls has escaped like a bird out of the snare of the flower!
Fly away from all demonic and manipulative relationships.
Pro 6:5 (KJV) Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Cut off that relationship where you are being oppressed.Let the wrong person go so that the right person can show up! I pray that God will grant you more understanding!
Let’s delve deeper into these symptoms of abusive relationships:
1. Your Individuality is in Question
In an abusive relationship, one of the most subtle yet insidious signs is the gradual erosion of your individuality. You may start to question your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, as the abusive partner systematically chips away at your self-esteem. They may belittle your opinions, decisions, and passions, making you doubt your worth and significance.
2. Unending Chastisement
Abuse often manifests in the form of unrelenting chastisement. You may find yourself on the receiving end of constant criticism and nitpicking. This continuous stream of negativity can be emotionally draining, leaving you feeling worthless and defeated.
3. False Accusations
Abusive partners frequently employ false accusations as a means of control. They might accuse you of infidelity, dishonesty, or wrongdoing without any basis in reality. These unfounded allegations can leave you in a state of constant defensiveness, further undermining your self-esteem.
Abusers often excel in shifting blame. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they find ways to place the blame on you. This tactic leaves you feeling guilty for problems that are not your fault, reinforcing their control over the relationship. It can eventually bother on mental health if care is not taken.
5. Withdrawal
Emotional and physical withdrawal is another common sign of an abusive relationship. The abusive partner may use the silent treatment or physical isolation to exert control and manipulate your behavior. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and helplessness. It is also called stonewalling
6. You Are Always in the Wrong
In an abusive relationship, it can feel like you can never do anything right. No matter what you do, your actions are met with disapproval or anger. This constant feeling of inadequacy can lead to a loss of self-confidence and self-worth.
7. Control Over Your Finances
Abusive partners may also exert control over your financial resources. They might restrict your access to money, scrutinize your spending, or even take charge of your finances entirely. This control can leave you financially dependent and trapped in the relationship.
Recognizing these symptoms is the first step in breaking free from an abusive relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, it’s crucial to seek support and help from professionals who can provide guidance and assistance in leaving the abusive relationship and rebuilding a life free from harm.
Giving the right nomenclatures to folks around you is an important step in Latin the right person for you Even after the wedding, naming people rightly will keep you away from adultery. You must learn to name people appropriately and not go out with everybody or jump in bed with everyone and anyone! This is my boss. This is my colleague. This is just a friend! This is just an acquaintance. This is an unbeliever…
Gen 2:20 KJV And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
Like Adam, you must name people rightly! Not everybody is your helper! Some are nice but they are destiny killers!
There are handsome destiny destroyers and beautiful dream abortionists.
You must name people appropriately and you must not allow desperation to push you out of God’s will!
Like Adam, have you been in that place where no help-meet has been found? Have you searched and prayed and fasted and yet nothing is forthcoming?
You see, you have to cease from your own strength! Your intellectual prowess cannot get a prudent wife from the Lord. Your nice manners and Queens English are irrelevant. The parameter of your cognitive abilities is not the issue here.
Have You Slept Yet?
Adam successfully named every creature on earth, a display of uncommon spiritual and mental energy and prowess, and yet was frustrated at the end because he could not find a spouse!
Are you in that place like you are a graduate, but no helpmeet? You are rich and comfortable, but no helpmeet? You attend functions and join the church workforce and do a lot but no helpmeet. That was where Adam found himself.
What was God’s solution to the imbroglio?
Gen 2:21 KJV And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
Guys and ladies, you’ve got to “sleep” and allow God to lead you! Some of you have simply refused to sleep! The scripture said “and he slept,” so it was a choice. He could have said, “I am not sleeping, and just start jumping or jogging.
After you have done all you know to do, why not just sleep and abandon yourself in God’s arms and plans for your life? You have been too much awake and yet no result!
Just sleep and trust God to do it. When you sleep, you don’t wake up every two minutes to check your security. You just sleep. Go into deep sleep and stop sampling ladies all over the place every Sunday! You don’t even listen to messages again in church!
By the time Adam woke up, God brought Eve to him. Ladies, don’t bring yourself, allow God to bring you! When God brings or showcases you, it comes with a revelation or conviction to your husband-to-be. Don’t be suggestive. Don’t sound too available. Don’t take the lead. The man is the aggressor and the lady is the responder!
Have You Slept Yet?
When you “sleep,” God will show you your spouse. He will bring her to you! You will see her and know! That was why, without God saying a word, Adam went into a frenzy of romantic prophecy and began to speak in tongues!
The next time you want to take things into your own hands and step outside His will, remember to step back and go to “sleep!”
Dear married couples, after your wedding, you are supposed to go to “sleep” as well concerning all other people around you You can only admire, and not desire again!
Ask God for the wisdom to go about it! You can still go to sleep even as a married person and wake up with a revelation on how to better handle your spouse and improve your marriage!
I pray for you this morning that this year, God will establish all that concerns your relationship/marriage and dissolve every puzzle in Jesus’ name!
I started on this yesterday. I will complete it this morning
5. Not Seeking Help
Wise folks know it’s okay to ask for help and advice from others, but a fool thinks they’re super smart and doesn’t need anyone.
Pro 14:8 GNB Why is a clever person wise? Because he knows what to do. Why is a stupid person foolish? Because he only thinks he knows.
The Science of Foolishness Part 2
6. Making Light of Serious Mistakes
Imagine someone playing a cruel joke on someone just before their wedding and then laughing it off. That’s foolishness. Mistakes should be taken seriously.
Pro 14:9 NIV Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.
7. Babbling Nonsense
Fools talk a lot, but what they say doesn’t make much sense. They should listen more and talk less.
Pro 15:2 MSG Knowledge flows like spring water from the wise; fools are leaky faucets, dripping nonsense.
You know, wisdom is like a fresh spring of water. Wise people drink from it, but fools prefer to figure things out the hard way.
Pro 16:22 MSG True intelligence is a spring of fresh water, while fools sweat it out the hard way.
9. Not Keeping Promises
If you promise to do something and then don’t, that’s foolishness. Giving is a way to receive, so breaking a promise to give is like missing out on something good.
Ecc 5:4 MSG When you tell God you’ll do something, do it–now. God takes no pleasure in foolish gabble. Vow it, then do it.
10. Having Anger Issues
Losing your temper and getting mad all the time can cause problems. A wise person stays calm and doesn’t let anger ruin things.
Ecc 7:9 MSG Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.
11. Pretending to Love When You Don’t
Fools pretend to love someone they actually hate. They also like to spread mean rumors about others.
Pro 10:18 AMP He who hides hatred is of lying lips, and he who utters slander is a [self-confident] fool.
The Science of Foolishness Part 2
12. Making Parents Sad
Foolishness can hurt your parents. Instead of bringing them joy, you make them sad. That’s not good. It’s nothing but foolishness.
Pro 17:21 AMP He who becomes the parent of a [self-confident] fool does it to his sorrow, and the father of [an empty-headed] fool has no joy [in him].
13. A fool has no secret.
A fool shares everything without thinking. They don’t keep secrets, and their lives are like an open book for everyone to see.
Pro 29:11 KJV A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
14. Doubting God in Your Heart
Even if someone says they believe in God, their actions might show they don’t really believe. That’s foolishness.
Be wise and make good choices. Don’t let foolishness get in the way of a happy and smart life!
Psa 14:1 AMP THE [empty-headed] fool has said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable deeds; there is none that does good or right.
May God help us to be wise and to embrace wisdom in our generation and beyond!
I pray that your path will not cross with a foolish lover! You will not fall in love with foolishness!
Hey there! We all do silly things sometimes, even grown-ups. It’s just part of being human. Nobody’s perfect, so don’t worry if you’ve made mistakes. But what’s important is that we learn from those mistakes and do better next time.
It is important to take an inventory of yourself because the foolishness of the foolish does not allow him to identify his foolishness, he sometimes thinks, the wise are the foolish ones!
Sometimes, you need the help of another to be able to see your foolishness because foolishness blinds.
In Matt. 23:17, 19, Luk.11:40 and Luk. 24:25, Jesus actually referred to some people as fools.
So, let’s talk about what it means to be a foolish person.
The Science of Foolishness
1. Despising wisdom and instruction
Being wise means respecting good advice and learning from it. But a foolish person doesn’t care about wise words. They think they know it all.
Pro 1:7 AMP The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning and the principal and choice part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]; but fools despise skillful and godly Wisdom, instruction, and discipline.
The Science of Foolishness
2. Making Fun of Important Things
Fools like to make fun of important stuff, like God and knowledge. They prefer to spend time jesting, watching films lazily, and wasting time on social media all day long.
Pro 1:22 NIrV “How long will you childish people love your childish ways? How long will you rude people enjoy making fun of God and others? How long will you foolish people hate knowledge?
The Science of Foolishness
3. Ignoring Warning Signs
Sometimes, people see trouble coming but walk right into it. He deliberately steps into evil. He calls it necessary evil!
Pro 13:19 GNB How good it is to get what you want! Stupid people refuse to turn away from evil.
The Science of Foolishness
4. Hanging Out with the Wrong Crowd
Your friends can have a big influence on you. If you hang out with wise people, you’ll become wiser. Hang out with fools, and life will be messy.
Pro 13:20 MSG Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.
Before 8.00 pm, you will get an email with instructions on how to join or simply via Singles WhatsApp Hub! See you then!
CONTINUING WITH TODAY’S DEVOTIONAL,
Hold on to your joy, dear singles and couples! The devil is doing so much to attack homes by attacking their joy!
Joh 10:10 (KJV) The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
He wants to steal, kill, and destroy your joy! Don’t allow him.
Do you know why?
That joy of the Lord is your strength!
Neh 8:10b (KJV) ..for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Hold on to your strength by holding on to your joy!
Don’t allow tantrums, quarrels, or petty issues to come into your relationship or marriage!
Forgive your loved one quickly and in a hurry, don’t react to everything, dispel bad moods quickly with dancing, laughing, and singing!
As you do this, strength will come for your finances, businesses, and your career! You will see hindrances removed and prayers answered!
Are you already in some form of strife with your fiance or spouse? Seek to end it and stop punishing yourself!
Today is my birthday! 51 today! God has been really good! I want to express my appreciation to all our followers and partners over the years, God will continue to honour and bless you in Jesus’ name!
A FREE MASTER CLASS
There is a free Master Class you don’t want to miss! One for Couples, and one for Singles Have you registered for the FREE seminar to celebrate my 51st birthday yet? Find details below and the steps you need to take! And the best part? It’s absolutely FREE
COUPLES:
Time: 8:00pm Date: October 13th, 2023 Theme: Strengthening Connection
Instructions: Create a cozy date night atmosphere where you and your spouse can fully immerse yourselves without interruptions. Prepare some delicious snacks and drinks. Make sure to have writing materials on hand for the practical workbook session. The PDF materials will be provided during the webinar.
This free webinar is the first class of the 7 Weeks Ultimate Marriage Course.
Topic: Strengthening Connection
Activities included: a. Watching a video together as a couple b. Workbook session c. Live session with Dunamis & Sophia
Join us for an exclusive online seminar, the first class of Pre-Wedding Counseling for Singles. Theme: Enhancing Communication Skills Date: October 14th, 2023 Time: 8:00 PM
This exciting event includes:
a. A captivating video presentation b. Interactive workbook session c. Personal guidance from the esteemed duo, Dunamis & Sophia
Are you ready to embark on this transformative journey? If you haven’t registered yet, don’t miss out and secure your spot now! Simply click on this link – https://forms.gle/dUKo3nTHDLa5zphY7
The webinar link will be sent to you prior to 8:00pm on Friday! Wishing you all the best on your path to self-discovery and meaningful connections!
