You cannot do it your own way! You belong to God! And you should sound that to the ears of anybody that wants you to compromise, desecrate your body, and jeopardize your destiny.
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; -Galatians 5:19 (MSG)
“But Pastor, there is nothing I can do again and I cannot stop when he or she has already removed his/her clothes! I mean, when I am already seeing nakedness before me!”
“Who says you cannot stop? You can!”
“Pastor, I mean she is already touching my body and all that”
“Okay, let’s assume his name is Buddy. So you are ready to compromise and she goes like: “Oh Buddy, I really appreciate you. I never thought anybody will still love me and accept me. Thanks for loving me. Ever since I have been confirmed positive, I never…”
You see, at that point, whatever was hard would go flaccid instantly! Will Buddy stop or not? He will quickly escape for his life. You see the point. The scripture says “Sin shall not have dominion over you!”
In a scenario of compromise, what the scripture advises is for you to “flee” Flee means “to run away as in terror” That is how to escape such.
When the Bible says “run”, don’t say “let’s reason together!
Tongues will not help you at that time, only your feet will do. Save yourself from this untoward generation and run to God for help.
Joseph ran away from Potiphar’s wife and he preserved his destiny, He became a Prime Minister. Samson didn’t run and he had his eyes gouged out, he died with his destiny unfulfilled and cut off in the midst of his days.
If you are already compromised, run to God, our father of all mercies and He will surely embrace you and forgive you.
The part that I like so much about God is that He will forgive and forget! Your iniquity will I remember no more! He will simply forget you ever did anything, when you come before him genuinely and sincerely.
Embrace his love and mercy today, it is the best option you have. I pray today for you that God’s mercies will surround you and He will envelope you in His everlasting arms!
CONFESSIONFOR THE DAY I am delivered from the spirit of mammon. I am free from lust. I am freed by God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every yoke in my emotions, body and my mind by the power of the Holy Spirit and in the name of Jesus.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY What the sinful nature does is clear. It enjoys sexual sins, impure acts and wild living. –Galatians 5:19 (NIV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study on “My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.”
There is a common lie of the devil. If the bed antics are good, then the woman or the man must be a very good person. The truth is that the character of a person cannot be determined by how good or bad they are in bed.
If that is all the motivation behind getting married to you, the danger here is that if your partner sees anybody better than you in bed, then he/she dumps you. The source of a thing is also the sustainer thereof.
It is a violation of God’s principles to get involved and focus on sexuality when you are not married. There is no other way to see it and there is no other explanation to offer. It is simply out of order.
“But I can’t control myself when I am with a lady!”
“Yes, you can! All you need to do is open the door!”
Sin is perpetuated in the atmosphere of secrecy. The moment you expose it, you have destroyed its power. Pre-marital sex is not something you do in the open, so avoid being alone.
In a bedroom-driven relationship, the only criteria by which you are measured is how good you are in bed, to the exclusion of integrity, vision, diligence, and other critical virtues.
Judgment by that alone reduces you to the level of a prostitute. It is an insult to the dignity of the human being; it is an affront to the creative ingenuity of God.
Singles, stop compromising because of the money or pleasure you will get there. Your body is not a business commodity. You are not a commercial article to be prized and bargained on. Your destiny is not for sale!
Don’t allow anybody to price you! Value yourself! You’ve been bought and redeemed by the costliest and most precious thing in this world and all of eternity, and that is the blood of Jesus!
That is the reason the Holy Spirit will dwell in you if you are a child of God. It is also the same reason your body is now the temple of the Holy Ghost! How dare anybody try to fondle and defile the temple of the Holy Ghost!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am delivered from the spirit of mammon. I am free from lust. I am freed by God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every yoke in my emotions, body, and mind by the power of the Holy Spirit and in the name of Jesus.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY what the sinful nature does is clear. It enjoys sexual sins, impure acts, and wild living. – Galatians 5:19 (NIV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study on “My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.”
Here is the stage a lot of relationships break up. Here, the differences between the lady and the man become glaring and very obvious. Differences in attitudes, characters, and mannerisms may result in misunderstanding. Immaturity and selfishness may result in break-ups.
It would take two people with the love and peace of God guarding their hearts to go through this stage successfully. If your love is based on ephemeral conviction, it cannot stand this stage. If your conviction is not really founded in God, the foundation collapses at this stage.
4. Endurance
Only relationships built on the solid foundation of God’s Word can endure this phase. Here, it seems that all you have in common apart from God are just differences, differences, and differences! At this stage, quarrels seem to be the order of the day.
The knowledge of the basic differences between a man and a woman, constant prayers offered for the relationship, and the presence of a good mentor over the relationship are very helpful to avoid break-up here. This is the stage you often reach the conclusion that the marriage cannot work.
When I got to this stage, I wanted to break up, and she wanted to break up. But every time we decided to go our separate ways, we lost our peace! We always came back. It is at this stage you decide to embrace God’s plan instead of being selfish and egotistical.
This is the most critical stage; any relationship that goes through this stage successfully will be established.
5. Enjoyment
After endurance comes enjoyment. Here you realize the rewards and blessings of relationship. The Biblical truth of two being better than one, and two being able to chase ten thousand while one could only chase a thousand, becomes a physical reality. Here, the differences are seen as a blessing, not as a challenge. The two enjoy their relationship. They align their visions; they now understand each other. They forgive easily. They stop getting hurt at everything and they decide to forge ahead in God!
Let me note here, that presence of good mentors and exposure to knowledge often helps to minimize issues in these stages.
I pray for you this day, that at whichever stage you find yourself, the wisdom of God will be available for you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient. I am not hasty. I am led of God
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive the grace to be patient in Jesus name. I receive help from God’s Spirit to stay with God’s plan for my life and relationship
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jas 1:2-3 MSG Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Locate which stage you may be in right now and discuss with your fiancée or spouse on how to pull through
Break-ups eventually occur if relationships are not built on strong biblical principles and foundation.
There are five processes or stages a relationship has to pass through progressively to avoid possible break-ups.
1. Attraction
There must be physical attraction between both parties. Never start a relationship with someone you are not physically attracted to. God will not force anybody on you. Moreover you will be doing yourself a lot of good when you marry somebody you are attracted to, so that your eyes can be on your spouse only!
However, the relationship cannot thrive on attraction alone. It must move on to the next stage. This is the stage you are all over each other.
God help you if you are writing an examination at this time, when you open your books to read, you see his/her face! It happened to me, I got engaged to my wife at examination time! Thank God I didn’t fail.
This is the time you feel your partner is right and every other person is wrong. You need to be careful at this time, making sure your relationship with God is intact so that you can still hear Him speak to you. What is the next stage?
2. Disturbance
This is the stage when the parties begin to realize their differences, and see in other people qualities they admire.
If their love is not genuine, the relationship is certain to collapse here. They start picking on themselves here. The guy begins to reason properly and the lady begins to get hurt easily.
He starts complaining that she has changed and vice-versa, but in reality, none has changed, they just suddenly start seeing what they refused to see before.
Love blinded them initially, but the eyes begin to open!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient. I am not hasty. I am led of God
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive the grace to be patient in Jesus name. I receive help from God’s Spirit to stay with God’s plan for my life and relationship
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. – James 1:2-3 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Locate which stage you may be right now and discuss with your fiancée on how to pull through
What other signs are there to show that you are ready for marriage? Read on to find out.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
3. You are responsible and committed.
Signs of perpetual irresponsibility show that you are not ready for marriage.
Are people always referring to you as irresponsible?
Are people always “concerned” about your habits and dispositions?
Yes, while men may be wrong at most times in their judgments, you should not ignore multiple corrections of the same thing by different people.
By the time your parents, siblings, school teacher, lecturer, Pastor, and lover complain about the same thing, then you need to pay some attention to that thing.
You see, your weaknesses can be oblivious to you and yet obnoxious in the least.
God will often use people around you while single, to expose some of the weaknesses you cannot even notice.
You can be so anointed and yet blind to the dangerous dispositions which are counter-productive for marriage. This is why the scripture says:
Who is blind, but my servant? or deaf, as my messenger that I sent? who is blind as he that is perfect, and blind as the LORD’S servant? – Isaiah 42:19 (KJV)
You can be a good praying Christian with good intentions and yet marriage becomes a mess.
This is because your good intentions are not enough, your commitment, resolution, and responsibility are required.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am improving and getting better
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me areas of my life I need to work on in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 42:19 (AMPC) Who is blind but My servant [Israel]? Or deaf like My messenger whom I send? Who is blind like the one who is at peace with Me [who has been admitted to covenant relationship with Me]? Yes, who is blind like the Lord’s servant?
Below are signs to know whether you are ready for marriage or not.
1. You are not lonely.
If you are lonely, you are not ready for marriage. Adam was alone, not lonely. Loneliness and alone-ness are miles apart.
Marriage is never intended to cure loneliness, rather it is to complement you and provide companionship.
If you study the word, “helper’ you will understand what I am saying here.
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. – Genesis 2:18 (KJV)
The Amplified Bible calls it helper and then goes further to expatiate that word.
Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. – Genesis 2:18 (AMPC)
2. You are not looking for a house-help.
A lady is to be a helper and not a house-help. The roles are defined. They are not the same.
She can help out do laundry depending on your arrangement, but she is not a dry-cleaner or a washing machine.
She is not coming to work her hands off while the husband sits back and watch news and football.
This even becomes important these days when there are a lot of career women.
If the young couple don’t have house-helps or any body helping out, then they need to both face the work and not leave it for one party.
This does not undermine the hard work and industriousness of the wife as this is exemplified in the virtuous woman, but it also doesn’t make the husband redundant in house as well.
There should be “division of labour” in love!
And this is why ladies should not go and spend weekends with a boyfriend all in the bid of securing a wedding. It doesn’t work that way.
You will end up having plenty of jeru trip and less of meaningful discussions to advance your marital plans.
Time that should be spent in knowing each other and probing character defects are spent locked up in each other’s embrace, in passionate sex, and this is why there are problems after wedding.
You never got to know that person with you on the bed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God will help me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in every you can in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 42:19 (MSG) You’re my servant, and you’re not looking! You’re my messenger, and you’re not listening! The very people I depended upon, servants of GOD, blind as a bat—willfully blind!
Now, let’s take a look at the physical symptoms of a guy that will not marry you.
1. He will not introduce you to any authority figures in his life.
He will not introduce you to his Pastor, (you don’t have any business with a man that doesn’t have a Pastor in the first place) nor will he introduce you to his parents. He will refrain from any action that could validate or stamp that marriage commitment. When you see this sign, it is an indication he is not really ready for marriage.
2. He keeps postponing the wedding date several times and keeps on procrastinating.
The date never comes and yet he keeps on telling you he loves you. Well, the date may never come!
3. He will tell you that you are number one on the list of his girlfriends and that you are very lucky.
He will tell you that even though he still sees his other girlfriends; you are the first on his list. You see, you don’t have any business being in this kind of relationship as the trend will continue after marriage and can threaten the marriage itself.
4. He is very jealous and he is very suspicious of you.
He does not trust you because he has a feeling you are doing the same thing he does. To the pure, all things are pure, to the impure all things are impure!
5. He does not want you fiddling with his phones so that you won’t discover the love tantrums going on via SMS and chats.
He sometimes keeps his phones “passworded” or tells you out rightly he doesn’t want you with his phone.
Don’t get into sinful adventure because of frustration, don’t try to satisfy the cravings and the emptiness of your heart with drinking or partying or sleeping around, run to your maker, the re-writer of history, the one that shows mercy to whom he will, the one that can reconfigure your life, and when you do that in faith, He will surely answer you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have God’s direction in my everyday life
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY
Lord, guide my steps and help me to make the right decisions in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me. – Psalm 31:3 (KJV)
There are signs to know if he will eventually marry you or not. If only you decide not to ignore the signs. God is not an author of confusion, He is our father! He will not leave you alone. He would always make his will known if you allow him.
1. Spiritual signs
If you are a child of God and you are filled with the Spirit of God, the first thing that will happen to you if you are involved with a wrong person (notice I did not write a bad person) is that you will lose your peace.
How will you know if you have lost your peace or God is not with you on that decision? How does God speak?
Now, God speak in several ways, but I will talk about how He speaks to us through the revelation of the Holy Spirit.
There are three ways.
a. In inward peace; it is like God is saying, “Yes, my son, go ahead, I trust you. The other side of inward peace is “A Check”
b. In inward witness; it is like God saying, Yes, my son, this is exactly what I want you to do. An inward witness is a little bit stronger than inward peace. The other side of Inner witness is a “A Bad Feeling.”
c. In inward voice; God grabs your attention and says “Yes, do this!’ It is the most specific because God specifically speaks to your heart through the Holy Spirit. The other side of inward voice is “Don’t Do It”
And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. (Col 3:15 AMP)
Here is another translation
The peace that Christ gives is to guide you in the decisions you make; for it is to this peace that God has called you together in the one body. And be thankful. (Col 3:15 GNB)
When you read Acts 16:6-9, you will see examples of these leading.
What if you don’t ever bear God? Do a little bit of fasting and prayer. It will help you. Fasting puts down the outward man while prayer builds up the inward man. The result is that you hear God clearly.
Also, you need to get filled with the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues! God is ever willing to baptize you with the Holy Spirit.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have God’s direction in my every day life
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps and help me to make the right decisions in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 31:3 (KJV) For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Rather than weep, lift your voice and cry unto the Lord! He will come through for you! You’ve been jobless for a while? And you are beginning to give up? No, don’t round up your life and make a permanent conclusion because of a temporary situation. The job will still come! Your relationships have not all worked? When you meet the right person, it will work. Rather than feel forsaken and abandoned, use that time to develop yourself! Age is no longer on your side? Agreed, but God is still on your side. When God is on your side, you will laugh last. That very depression is not the way out, in fact, it drives potential suitors away upon seeing your countenance, so cheer up!
What you need to do is to cast down those thoughts. Refuse to agree with what he says. Rather, choose to accept what God says about you. The devil says you are finished. God says He is just starting. Whose report will you believe? If you believe the devil, you will slide into depression, but if you believe in God, you will rise in the joy of the Holy Ghost. That is why the scriptures advise that you should count it all joy. Why? Because there will be victory in the end.
Resort to praise and the heaviness will lift. Start meditating on God’s word and God’s word will come through for you! Despite contradictory and obvious happenstances, switch into praise, praise God to a point till you get the devil confused. Praise God to a point till God has no choice till He deploys every available divine resource in your favour including angelic interventions. Joy is not a function of a situation or circumstance, it is the fruit of the recreated human spirit. It is there all the time. I only need to stir it up! You stir it up with a shout, a dance, or laughter! So, go ahead! It is the dawning of a new day for you. Shout ‘No more depression! No more, not me!’ Did you feel strength from within? That is what joy does! You get it now.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the joy of the Lord always
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I break the hold of depression over my life in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 12:25 KJV Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a promise of God’s word and meditate on it.
We all know what depression is. We have all experienced it at one point or the other. So, I am not about to give you a definition from a dictionary. You can easily get that and thousands of more definitions from online dictionary tools. But beyond several justifiable reasons for depression and all the psychological jargon and explanations, I want to write on its spiritual implications.
I am going to tell you one thing. Depression is a tool in the hands of the devil to wreck your life! That sounds very hard, but it is the truth. I know you have very good and sane reasons to be depressed like the loss of a dear one, the pain of being jilted, the agony of being used and abandoned, the deep wounds from past sexual abuses, the regrettable waves of sadness from a failed marriage, the trauma of physical abuse and so on and so forth.
And those are exactly the reasons that the devil presents to you which makes depression and despondency justified. Interestingly, the flesh enjoys the feelings of depression, but really depression offers no solution. Rather, it complicates the issue on ground and makes your eyes blurred the more from finding a way out.
Depression comes from the pit of hell and it is a potent weapon in the hands of the devil to stagnate you. However, one good thing is that depression cannot be forced on you as you can either yield to it or resist it.
Depression is first of all oppression, then it graduates into obsession and finally, it could get to a point of possession if you don’t have Jesus Christ in your life. It comes stealthily, almost looking healthy and natural, but before you know it, it will overwhelm you and attempt to control and give direction to your life.
The devil will attempt to attack everybody with depression, but you don’t have to cooperate with his antics. If as a single, you have had some failed relationships, it is not uncommon for the devil to try and attack your mind with depressive swings, telling you something is wrong with you! If you embrace those thoughts, you are simply giving him a foothold to operate in your thought realm.
Why is depression so dangerous? It steals your joy. And that is supposed to be your strength. It stops your prayer life. And that is supposed to be where you get help. It stifles you by making it impossible to read and study God’s word. And that is where life is supposed to flow from. It isolates you from good people. And that is one way wisdom is supposed to come.
What is the way out?
Join me tomorrow as I conclude on this topic.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the joy of the Lord always
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I break the hold of depression over my life in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 12:25 KJV Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a promise of God’s word and meditate on it.
That is respect for individuals. People are like ladders. Does he treat people well? How about his mum, sisters, father, colleagues, etc. Is she courteous? Is she respectful? Does she disdain folks with a passion?
6. The Test of Excellence
That is wisdom. Is he hungry for wisdom or does he thinks he knows it all? A friend who isolates himself will crash. He or she cannot be corrected. There are no authority figures that can speak to him or her.
Let me tell you something here. The moment you look at a person and there is nobody you can report him to, there are no regards for parents or pastors, he is just an island by himself, you need to reconsider such friendships.
It is a trap of the devil and such tendencies are symptomatic of an unhealthy outlook to life.
7. The Test of God’s Fear
He must love God. She must be a God lover. Does he value God and His word? Does she revere God? This is the ultimate acid test. If he doesn’t love God, he cannot love you!
If he treats the things of God shabbily, he will end up treating you the same way. Let him or her be a person that fears God!
It is not enough to say one is born again these days, because the term has been grossly misapplied. It is not even enough to say one is a pastor or a choir leader or administrator in church; the question is does he or she fear God?
It was the fear of God that made Joseph run away from adultery. It was lack of God’s fear that made Samson with all his anointing to get into sexual sins repeatedly until he brought himself down. God gave him a long rope because the scripture says he judged Israel for twenty years.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the Spirit of wisdom to discern and choose that which is good for my destiny.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, fill me afresh with your wisdom in the affairs of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 21:5 MSG Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Commit your ways unto the Lord
Is he or she focused? Where is his passion? A visionless man is so easy to identify. His speech will betray him because the mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart. Once you know a particular friendship is getting deepened, ask a lot of questions when you can still reason well before emotions take over.
The world is full of people who will readily compromise and who lack focus. You haven’t been together for long and he or she is already asking for sex? That is gross irresponsibility. Run from such people, they are not your friends!
Jesus said; “What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives!” -Luke 9:41a (MSG)
You ask him what his job is, and he says “He is planning to travel out of the country.”
“Since when?”
“Well, for like three years now.”
Is that a job? Why must a young person stop his or her life because of plans to travel?
4. The Test of Sincerity.
That is openness. Is he sincere about his faults, weaknesses, feelings? Is she willing to talk about them or does she pretend?
It is dangerous to walk with someone who lives in a delusion of grandeur. Some of the most dangerous sets of people are those who are self-deceptive. They can abort twenty times and simply use some scriptures to cover up. If it was done in ignorance, that is another thing, because God cleanses you and you can start your life all over again when you genuinely repent.
But I am talking of those who have successfully combined this sinful lifestyle with serving God alongside. I don’t care if he is a pastor or she is a minstrel, if he or she uses scriptures to justify a habitual sin that even an unbeliever will often refrain from, you should run from such people and not be joined in their unrepentant sinful adventures.
An insincere guy will lure you into sexual sin and then turn around to say you seduced him. What are you doing with such people? An insincere lady will offer her body to get some money and then turn back to say you forced her. That is nothing short of wickedness. Those are not friends! He says he is a pastor and he slides his hands into your blouse each time you visit his office.
I don’t care how much ‘anointing’ you think he has, he is a charlatan! What counseling are you looking for with such people, run for your life because there are counsels that can cancel destinies.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the Spirit of wisdom to discern and choose that which is good for my destiny.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, fill me afresh with your wisdom in the affairs of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind. – Proverbs 21:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Commit your ways unto the Lord
I know that there are no perfect persons and we are all projects in the hands of God, however, there are basic traits to watch out for generally. While you may not be able to find a person that successfully combines all these, the qualities should guide you in your decision. If a person does not have character defects and does not live in habitual sin, some of these qualities can be improved upon by asking God for His grace.
1. The Test Of Integrity.
Test him for faithfulness and integrity in little and big things. Make sure she has integrity and her words and actions line up. Integrity is very important because that is what will eventually preserve you.
The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. -Proverbs 11:3 (KJV)
God loves integrity. In Job 2:3, God boasted about Job and he mentioned his integrity. Integrity in that verse means ‘innocence.’
The potential guy or the lady must have integrity as well. It is a great legacy to pass to the children. Integrity is from the word ‘Integral” meaning one. You are supposed to be the same person within and without.
Don’t marry a gentle saint on Sundays but a vicious man on Mondays. Be careful of dual personalities who seem to give their lives to Jesus one moment and then take the life back the next moment. How will you know all these? These are the things you will find out when you are friends.
That is why pre-marital sex should be avoided because it will get you confused and distracted. You see, the moment you are illegally bonded together in pre-marital sex, the obvious character defects that others can see will mean nothing to you.
They will ask you questions like, “What are you doing with that kind of person?” And you will be like; ‘leave me alone, I love him, he will change!’
You see, you have not even changed yourself! You are not the Holy Spirit who changes people! What the scripture says is that you should not be unequally yoked!
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? -2Corintians 6:14-15 (MSG)
2. The Test Of Diligence.
You cannot afford to marry a lazy man or an indolent woman. It will slow your journey down. Diligence is measured with so many indices like tenacity, business acumen, career pursuit, doggedness, and so on. You may not have so much today, but with diligence in a potential spouse, you can be sure you will be great in life.
Do you see a man diligent and skillful in his business? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men. -Proverbs 22:29 (AMP)
You cannot afford to commit your life to the hands of a lazy person. That is subjecting your life to unnecessary afflictions that could have been avoided.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the Spirit of wisdom to discern and choose that which is good for my destiny.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, fill me afresh with your wisdom in the affairs of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry put you further behind. – Proverbs 21:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Commit your ways unto the Lord
Continued from yesterday. You can read part 1 HERE
Some ladies fall in love before trying to find out about his character and flaws. So many young ladies with great destinies have jeopardized their future by getting involved with the wrong person.
Stop falling in love with a stranger on Facebook! It is not ideal. There are so many marital casualties today as a result of unguarded and careless relationships. Profiles, timelines, and Twitter pages cannot be used as a conclusive decision on marriage!
Ladies, don’t wait till you are head over heels in love, with flying butterflies in your tummy before probing who he is. You should find out a lot when you are first of all friends before becoming lovers. That is why friendship is very important. You would have seen enough traits that will help you make up your mind about who you want.
Sisters, have friends. That is where relationship will develop from. If you don’t have platonic friends, then you are left with strangers to approach you, and most of the time when strangers come, they are looking for sex.
That is why most sisters would say things like “it is always unserious people that approach me.” The question is do you have friends?
For guys, become friends first before you make your intention known. Do you know there would not be issues of ‘nails’ or rejection because you are already friends? She would simply tell you ‘No’ politely because she would not want to offend her friend!
When you are already in love without friendship, the likelihood is that your feelings for him will block every form of reasoning and sense of judgment.
You know he drinks, but you don’t care. You know she smokes, but you close your eyes. There are some character traits you can watch out for while just friends.
It is a simple principle of “make the tree good and the fruits will be good.” A guy can’t make a good husband if he doesn’t have a good character.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
As sister Sube walked down the road, her mind was stormy and depressed. This is in contrast with the calm and unusual tranquil weather. Without was so peaceful, but within were rumblings of the murky waters of despondency!
Every step she took down the road was punctuated with deep-seated sighs. What is her problem? She feels something is wrong with her because nobody is proposing to her and age is no longer on her side!
On the other hand, Brother Zerubabbel too is so worried that he is almost bending over. What is his problem? Brother Zeru is angry with all the so-called sisters because he has proposed to thirteen sisters in the same church and each of them gave him a nail.
The nails, sorry, the spikes were so painful. It was as if the sisters all had a meeting on him, actually, they did.
The above scenarios are issues that bother on cultivating friendship the right and healthy way.
Never forget that how to get a friend is more important than how to get a lover. Lovers don’t drop from the sky; they are made from friendship as the foundation.
Loving is a process that should start with friendship. Don’t fall in love with someone who is not your friend. It is not advisable to toe the line of ‘love at first sight.’ Why? You can only love who you know! You might have some body chemistry at first sight, but certainly, it is not falling in love like we normally allude.
Love is a spiritual entity that happens not just in the intellectual realm but in the emotional and spiritual realms as well. When you have a one–night stand with a stranger, it is nothing but lust and lack of discipline. You don’t even know the person and yet the moment you are sexually involved, your histories become intertwined, afflictions and demonic influences are exchanged and dangerous habits creep into your life after such reckless sexual encounters.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
Continued from yesterday. You can read Part 2 HERE
Make sure he knows God. Make sure he loves God. Make sure his priorities are that of the Lord. That way, you will serve God gladly and not be persecuted all the days of your marriage.
You really don’t want to get married to someone who tells you after your wedding that you should try out a threesome! You really don’t want to get married to a man who says he loves it in the anal.
That is out rightly demonic and as a wife, you don’t have to risk your health and life! Seek counsel and don’t die in silence! You really don’t want to get married to a man who brings out ropes and other sadistic objects and says he doesn’t really feel it until he ties you up!
For those who are already married and are caught in this thicket of obeying God and disobeying him or obeying him and disobeying God, thereby kicking against the pricks, I want to offer a piece of advice.
First of all, the scripture says you should submit to your own husband. So we see right away that it is wrong for you to listen to one man, maybe your boss, against your husband.
You are to submit to your own husband, not another woman’s husband. Your boss is another woman’s husband.
So when he is making advances at you, you are to gladly and boldly disobey him. You don’t try to keep a job and then lose your joy!
Then the next thing is that you are to submit as unto the Lord.
What does that mean?
Let’s take a look at other translations.
Wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. – Ephesians 5:22 (MSG)
Whatever will not show your support for God should not be done.
You should politely, “submissively” refuse anything that will violate your conscience, that will set you against your maker and that will give access to the hordes of hell to plummet your destiny!
For example, he asks you to follow him to a herbalist. That is a direct affront between the kingdom of light and darkness. You are probably the last hope of that family and the last ounce of strength the children are looking up to, so you refuse! If you “submit” to such, it would not be as unto the Lord, and that might put the whole family in eternal danger.
So, what do you do in such cases?
You seek counsel. You pray in the Spirit. You keep walking in love and refuse to enter into strife.
If you do this, you will eventually have the victory and your husband will respect you more for this because he will realize it later. But if you listen to him, he will blame you when he realizes his mistakes; he will blame you for not stopping him from plunging the whole family into regrettable depths!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, lead me to that person you have designed for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. – Ephesians 5:22 (MSG)
Continued from yesterday. You can read Part 1 HERE
The statement “I am your husband to be, you must obey everything I say whether you like it or not” is a fallacy.
Yes, you should obey because you will eventually have to submit after marriage, but you are to refuse any form of oppression, compromise and violation of God’s word.
I will give you another example.
He desperately is in need of money. He suggests you take money that doesn’t belong to you in your place of work because you head the accounting section. Technically, he is asking you to steal.
If you go ahead to do that in love, it is most likely he would not marry you, because the very seed that would scatter the relationship has been sown.
On another level, you would have offended God in your bid to keep a lover, and come to think of it, it is not your supposed “acts” of love that keeps the relationship, it is God’s favour. The question then is that why would you want to lose God’s favour because you want to keep the guy?
You don’t kick against the lover of your soul to keep the lover of your body!
So, this is clear, it is a wrong man that will insist that you compromise your faith and desecrate the covenant.
Walk away from that man without regrets. Walk away from such a man offering thanksgiving to God that you discovered such traits before walking down the aisle.
It is good for you to leave a wrong man as soon as you can because if the wrong man doesn’t go, the right man will not show up.
Some ladies try to wait for the right man while they hold on to the wrong man in case the right man doesn’t show up. The reality is that the right man is never going to show up like that. God doesn’t want you double dating!
This is why we also say you should know who you are getting married to before you walk down the aisle.
To be continued tomorrow
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Sally is caught in a cross-fire. She really wanted to submit to her husband, but then some of the things her boo wanted her to do clearly contradicts the scriptures. What should she do? Cooperate with her boo and risk losing God’s favour or hold unto God while her love life collapses and her homes boils?
Even in courtship, the lady is often caught in between pleasing him and pleasing Him!
Let’s take a look at the scriptures.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. – Ephesians 5:22 (KJV)
So we see clearly and succinctly here that a wife is supposed to submit to her husband. It never says that a lady should submit to her own fiancé!
So, when he says you must come over and spend weekends, you don’t have to obey and end up jeopardizing your relationship with God in your bid to “submit’
I am saying in essence that in a dating or courtship situation, you are to absolutely follow God and not man!
If whatever your fiancé wants done is as unto the Lord, there wouldn’t be any problem there. You should gladly submit, even if you are not married yet.
But when it clearly violates your conscience, makes you feel guilty, makes you cry and dissipates God’s anointing in your life, you are to leave that guy alone before he wrecks your destiny.
Now, let’s see some examples here.
He asks you to send your nude pictures or else he would end the relationship. Something is not quite right.
There is some level of perversion that is being shown there. There is some traits of a compromised heart coming up there.
In this case, let your “No’ be emphatic and clear. If he walks away because of that, let him walk, he is not your husband.
If you do it and listen to him, this is not submission in any way, it is more of foolishness. If he is asking for nude before marriage, what will he ask for if he ever gets to marry you?
If you go ahead and do it in a bid to keep him, it shows your own depth of devotion to God. it shows that somewhere in your heart, you don’t really trust God.
If you do, you will never do anything that displeases God in other to please your boo. If you do such things, you just sowed a seed into that relationship and opened the door for the devil to afflict.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Continued from yesterday. You can read Part 2 HERE
Most importantly, a blessed man or woman can cast out demons. He or she can take charge of the spiritual milieu of the house. That is what you should go for.
Not a man or woman that will drag you to a herbalist’s house in your hour of need.
You need a blessed man or woman that can speak in tongues! Not just hot legs, but hot legs plus hot heart for God. That is what you need.
What is the purpose of marrying a beautiful lady with an empty head?
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head. – Proverbs 11:22 (MSG)
Hey, ladies, KHC daughters, listen to me, you need a man that can intreat the Lord for you!
Further down in the chapter we are studying, that was what Isaac did for his wife!
And Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived. – Genesis 25:21 (KJV)
Message Translation says Isaac prayed hard. You need a man/woman that can pray hard when you are down!
Two weeks before I got married, my wife collapsed and was hospitalized. It was an attack. My in laws did not know what to do. She was on drip for three days and had not opened her eyes.
When they told me over the qphone (those old NITEL boxes), I traveled to Abeokuta where she was, and discharged her. I put a stop to the attacks and asked that the life of God flow int her. She opened her eyes, sat up and asked for food. Even the doctor was amazed at the power of God.
That did not happen because I was a Pastor, it happened because I could intreat the Lord. That is part of the blessing!
I will have to stop here this morning.
May heaven assist you to find that blessed special man or woman!
Put your hands on your head, go ahead and speak in tongues a little.
I call your relationship blessed. I call your courtship blessed. I call your marriage blessed. I call your family blessed. I call your home blessed. I call your children blessed.
Now, I pray for you, by the unction on me this morning as I write, everything that looks like a curse, everything that is a departure from God’s promises over you and yours, is removed in Jesus name!
I have been commanded to bless, so with God’s authority over my life and ministry, this morning, I call you blessed!
Go out today declaring that you are blessed and see what the Lord will do today and in the next seven days!
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I am blessed so I attract the blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive the gift of a blessed man
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
Continued from yesterday. You can read Part 1 HERE
There are Josephs, Samsons and there are Amnons!
There are women who bring help and there are those who bring hell. There are wives and there are knives!
There are those who delight in your God and those who deride your faith.
There are Deborahs and there are Delilahs! There are Sarahs and there are Jezebels.
I say this with all sense of responsibility and humility, if I had married the wrong person, I will not be in ministry today. I know that because a lot of ministries have become miseries.
A lot of gifts and callings have been silenced and hibernated in the kitchen forever because of the wrong choice!
A lot of glorious callings have been guillotined, hung, and suspended because of the wrong choice.
Now, Pastor what do I look for in a man or a lady?
It is very simple. Look for a man or woman that is BLESSED!
Don’t look for money or comfort alone, look for the blessing first.
If he or she is not blessed, the money will all disappear. And even if it doesn’t disappear, joy will be far away.
The blessing! That is what to look for.
Look for a man that will not be threatened of you and will bring out the best in you.
Look for a woman that will complement you and not distract you in this journey.
Look for a man who loves God, he will truly love you.
Let’s take a look at just one example.
And Abraham gave ALL that he had unto Isaac. – Genesis 25:5 (KJV)
What is the “All” that Abraham gave to Isaac?
It is called the blessing!
The blessing makes all that a man does to prosper just like a curse can make all that a man does to come to null and void.
But if Abraham gave all to Isaac, what then did he give to all other sons?
But unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave GIFTS and sent them away from Isaac his son, while he yet lived, eastward, unto the east country. – Genesis 25:6 (KJV)
He gave all other sons all kinds of gifts which in today’s world would include cars, houses, lands, and so on.
But to Isaac, he gave ALL, and ALL is the Blessing!
Look for a blessed man, not a man who has a car but is not blessed.
The blessed man will eventually get all the cars and houses and the jets!
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, lead me to that person you have designed for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And Abraham gave ALL that he had unto Isaac. – Genesis 25:5 (KJV)
