Our devotional today is taking an interesting dimension because I desire to paint a vivid picture in the heart of young unmarried people. Like never before, I want you to understand that whatever decisions you make in life, especially in the area of your choice of life partner is what you will live with all the rest of your life.
I often tell people, when you invite me to your wedding, I would come, eat, have a nice time but I will return to my own house and you are left with your choice.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. – Rom 12:2
Let’s look at making a choice or decision like going to a supermarket to shop. Even though the issues about marital decisions require more wisdom and God’s help because unlike the supermarket where you can return goods purchased, in marriage, once you say ‘I do’, you cannot return him/her. It is ’till death do us part’.
In a supermarket, there are wide varieties to choose from. There are fakes, cheap, low quality, second hand, expired, and damaged products, depending on which supermarket you visit.
You also have products that are not bad but are not just good for you personally. They may just not suit your person, your taste, or your physiological makeup. They may also be too expensive for you or you do not have a budget for them now.
Everything still points to the fact that you are in charge and you make the decisions. You may be influenced, but it’s your choice that matters at the end of the day.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by his Spirit to choose rightly the man I will marry.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In the name of Jesus, I receive Grace for my fiance to mature in Christ and be all he can be for the glory of God. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:2 Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make sure you are comfortable with the character and personality of the person you are going out with. Prayerfully ask the Lord what to do next.
Am I rushing? Am I too young? Did we have sufficient friendship and courtship? Do I really know him or her since I can only love the person I know?
6. Is The Feeling Mutual?
Am I forcing myself on him or her? Does he or she reciprocates the love or treats me anyhow?
7. Is God Involved?
Do I have peace with this relationship? What are my Pastors saying? What about my parents? What about my siblings? Do I have peace?
Am I sure this is of God? Am I sure I am not on my own? Do I have God’s support and favour?
Ask yourself these questions and make sure you find answers to all of them and you would have succeeded in doing yourself a lot of good. You would have contributed to your happiness and taken charge of the future.
Don’t allow pressures brought about by delays or friends to make you decide and cling to what will obviously not work out.
There is no need to rush into a marriage because you are desperate only to get there and suffer silently because you never knew who you were dealing with.
Once you know a relationship is not of God or it is defective, don’t hesitate to end it all in order to do it right. A broken heart is still much better than a broken life!
Go back to God if you know your relationship with Him is not too good again because that is the foundation of getting blessed by Him!
It is well with you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I possess wisdom, wisdom directs my actions. I am not blindly in love that I do not apply wisdom. I am patient to find out what I need to find out before saying ‘I do’.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do my part and follow your leading in my decisions, especially in the area of my relationship. I receive fresh wisdom from you to direct my path in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ask (questions), and the answer shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. –Matthew 7:7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a pen and paper and write down all the questions you are going to ask the person you intend to marry, whether he/she is already around or not. Be prepared, so you are not so much in love that all sense of reasoning is gone.
Ask yourself these questions before saying ‘I do’. Ask these questions before you fall in love, and every sense of reasoning disappears!
1. Can I see myself in the picture of his future?
What’s his future like based on what he is doing now? What is he doing now? Who is she? What kind of work or job is he/she into? Does this person love God? Is he protective of my virtue or does not mind me compromising?
2. Do I love him/her enough for marriage?
Can I live with him till death do us part? Do I really love him or her or am I just going into this marriage for something I can get like money or some influence?
3. Am I proud of him/her physically, mentally, and spiritually?
Do I like his or her appearance? Would I be embarrassed introducing him or her to friends?
4. Will my kids be proud and approve of him/her?
Would he be a great example? Is he a man of his word? Does he have integrity? Would he influence my children to drink, smoke, and to some other vices? Would she be a good mother? Is he a loafer or very hardworking? Is she enterprising?
Let’s continue tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I possess wisdom, wisdom directs my actions. I am not blindly in love that I do not apply wisdom. I am patient to find out what I need to find out before saying ‘I do’.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do my part and follow your leading in my decisions, especially in the area of my relationship. I receive fresh wisdom from you to direct my path in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ask (questions), and the answer shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. –Matthew 7:7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a pen and paper and write down all the questions you are going to ask the person you intend to marry, whether he/she is already around or not. Be prepared, so you are not so much in love that all sense of reasoning is gone.
In these days and these times, you fall in love deliberately and with your eyes open, not hopelessly and thoughtlessly!
You don’t fall in love or walk down the aisle in marriage without taking into considerations some pertinent questions in order to protect yourself and to be sure you know what you are doing!
Gone are those days when you should fall in love blindly and go into a marriage without your common sense!
Well, if you are still with the slogan that love is a blind, I have news for you, marriage is an eye opener. Reality settles in after marriage.
It is for this reason careless marriages end few months after! Trust me, I get calls every other day, of brides who are still supposed to be in the moon taking some honey, crying and weeping profusely and talking about regrets.
I get calls of ladies who are married for less than six months and they want to walk out of the marriage because they never knew ‘he was like this!’
There is a popular saying that God gave us brains that He may rest! It is true because after God finished the work of creation, the bible says God rested.
I believe God is resting because everything is completed, all we need for life and Godliness is already provided.
The same is true of our relationships, everything we ever need is already available, we only need to look within us and draw it out.
Part of drawing all we need, I believe, is asking ourselves certain questions.
Questions are very powerful, what they do is that they draw out wisdom from within us or from people around us who are graced with such wisdom.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I possess wisdom, wisdom directs my actions. I am not blindly in love that I do not apply wisdom. I am patient to find out what I need to find out before saying ‘I do’.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do my part and follow your leading in my decisions especially in the area of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY ‘Ask (questions), and the answer shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you’. –Matthew 7:7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a pen and paper and write down all the questions you are going to ask the person you intend to marry, whether he/she is already around or not.
One wonderful attribute of God is His ability to remember and his ability to forget! And the good news is that He doesn’t remember our faults to count them against us, but He remembers His own covenant of blessings to us. He forgets our misdemeanors and remembers our good seed!
And God heard their sighing and groaning and [earnestly] remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. – Exo 2:24
He remembers He is our God, to help us, deliver us, protect us, vindicate us and do for us all He has promised. If you have a relationship with God, then it is a big congratulation to you. It does not matter what is going on in your marriage, home, and family right now. God hears, remembers, and will have respect unto you because you are His covenant child.
The attack of the enemy may be strong over your relationship, life, family, a courtship on the verge of breaking up, financial crisis, or whatever challenge has troubled you. All you need to do is to give God something he can hear and remember.
You may be going through an intense time in your relationship right now; courtship seems not to be working, for some there is even nobody to court. Issues are diversified and endless. I want you to know that you are not the only one going through an issue in your relationship or marriage right now. There are no custom-made problems.
I want you this morning to know that God has not forgotten you, even though it looks like that in the physical. So was the experience of Noah in the ark, and it looked like God has forgotten him in the ark, disenfranchised from the whole world and sentenced to life in the ark with animals…but then the scriptures says
And God remembered Noah… – Gen 8:1 KJV
God will remember you this morning! He will intervene in that relationship!
The Massage translation says:
Then God turned his attention to Noah … – Gen 8:1 MSG
Common! God is about to turn His attention to you! Don’t give up on God! That good man will locate you! You will find that beautiful lady! That relationship will not crash!
So all I want you to do this morning is lift up your voice before your father. In other words, make a sound, your father can hear. Not a faithless cry, but a cry full of faith, knowing that our God is merciful and He will not fail of His promises to us. Your God will have respect unto you in Jesus Name. He will visit you and turn the story around for good. He will make the bitter waters.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not abandoned. I am loved of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh God, turn every captivity around for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And God heard their sighing and groaning and [earnestly] remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. – Exo 2:24
Jesus is the foundation. Be careful what materials you are building on His person. I will like you to make a decision this morning, break free from every lying devil. Sin is sin, no matter your office! Sin is always a reproach and that is the end of it!
Embrace God’s love this morning. Do not take his love for granted. Ask for genuine repentance. Go to your pastor or mentor and stay accountable. Then if you have to go on a retreat and fast and pray, please do.
Fill yourself afresh with God’s word and let it become life to you! I challenge you this morning. Clean up! Delete that number before you yourself are deleted from trhe face of the earth! Cancel that ungodly relationship.
Destroy those instruments of sin. Take charge of your life this morning and break free from all oppression!
The truth is that God still loves you. That is why you are still alive despite all. He loves you beyond your imagination. He is full of tender mercies over you! Accept His love and He will restore your soul. He will clean you up, heal you and restore your dignity.
I pray for you this morning, that every yoke and demonic influence over your life and destiny be broken in Jesus name! If you need someone to pray for you or lead you to Christ, feel free to pick up my number and give me a call. God will send help your way today in Jesus name. Your life will not be a waste. Your labour of love in God’s Kingdom will not be devoid of reward in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare my freedom today from all oppression; I receive God’s help and mercy over my life; I severe myself from all ungodly relationships in Jesus name.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive God’s help to be free in Jesus name. Lord, send help to me now in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free. – John 8:36 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Become accountable today to someone your respect and value a lot.
Self-deception has led people into prostitution, and drug culture, it has locked up a lot of believers and men of God in the pit of sexual perversion where masturbation, pornography, adultery, homosexuality, and the likes are commonplace.
Self-deception spirits are dangerous because, they tell the oppressed to internalize their challenges: it tells them if God disapproves of their lifestyle, he would have killed them.
What they don’t know really is that they are actually dead! It stops them from seeking help since they never own up. Such people can lie! Since you can hardly get help until you own up to something is wrong, one is kept in the pit of darkness because he will never own up.
It is a plan of hell to destroy many. As I write this morning, the Spirit of God will prick your heart if need be, the light of God will shine in your heart, the word of God like a two-edged sword will separate the wheat from the chaff for you and help you to see if there are any areas where you need to make changes.
It doesn’t matter whether you are an apostle or unbeliever, what matters this morning is to confront yourself.
Jesus is the foundation and the Bible warns in 1Corintians 3:11-15 (MSG)
Remember, there is only one foundation, the one already laid: Jesus Christ. Take particular care in picking out your building materials. Eventually there is going to be an inspection. If you use cheap or inferior materials, you’ll be found out. The inspection will be thorough and rigorous. You won’t get by with a thing. If your work passes inspection, fine; if it doesn’t, your part of the building will be torn out and started over. But you won’t be torn out; you’ll survive–but just barely. -1Corintians 3:11-15 (MSG)
That’s why Jesus said; judge yourself that you will not be judged! How long do you think the deception will last? You cannot build God’s kingdom on the foundation of deception and lies.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare my freedom today from all oppression; I receive God’s help and mercy over my life; I severe myself from all ungodly relationships in Jesus name.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive God’s help to be free in Jesus name. Lord, send help to me now in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free. – John 8:36 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Become accountable today to someone your respect and value a lot.
This morning, I feel inspired to write about a particular demonic strategy, a deadly attitude being embraced by many. This attitude is from the pit of hell. It holds its victims by the jugular, suffocating them with obvious but subtle strangulation techniques and yet distracting them from what is killing them. The result then is that they refuse to accept something is wrong when it is obvious to all that they are on the path of destruction.
Let no man deceive himself. – 1Co 3:18a
I am talking about self-deception! You see, deception can come from different sources, but the greatest and deadliest form of deception is self-deception.
The demon behind self-deception works hand in hand with other demons especially mammon spirits and religious spirits. So you can see a person who says she wants to sleep around in order to get money, after all she goes to church and serves there with her time and money!
Hence, most people that are self-deceived can be found in the beautiful auditoriums of our churches today, in the choirs and on the pew.
Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside.) [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and that only is what he will reap. – Gal 6:7 AMP
It is only self-deception that will make a lady get involved in pre-marital affairs and then confidently sing in the choir the next day without blinking! You see such person is self-deceived, believing that her service to God will cover up for his or her ungodly life! It sounds incredible, but it is all over the place!
It is only self-deception that can make a man stand up from an adulterous bed and then go to church and condemn it from the pulpit!
It is self-deception that will make a man of God who has several branches under him and many looking up to him get involved with habitual adulterous life!
It is one thing to make a mistake, and anybody can fall, and people do fall. And God did make a provision to situations where people fall, to get them restored. But when it becomes habitual, I don’t really care how anointed the person is, there is an intertwining of self-deception demons and other demons oppressing that man!
He simply tells himself that God will overlook it since he is still having ‘result!
That is also a demonic strategy in itself, to make people develop a cold attitude to the things of God, to make them resent anything called pastors or church and thereby shutting them away from where they can get help. The result is that bondages and captivities are elongated and perpetuated!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I severe myself from all ungodly relationships in Jesus name.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive God’s help to be free in Jesus name. Lord, send help to me now in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Joh 8:36 (AMP) So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Become accountable today to someone your respect and value a lot.
Lurry was caught in a cross-road. She had lost one of her parents which resulted in her academic pursuits being threatened.
Her late father’s friend stepped in to help out with finances. It was like God sent because the man was rich.
However, in no time, he began to make sexual advances. Lurry was confused. If she said no, there would be no money. If she said yes, she would be in an adulterous relationship because the man was married with children. What was she supposed to do?
Candid advice! Run, run, run! There is fire on the mountain!
You see, you cannot because of mammon destroy your destiny. As a believer, God is your source and not man! You cannot trust in the arm of the flesh!
The consequence of violating the sacredness of the marriage bed far outweighs the seemingly temporary ‘lack’ you may experience when you decide to follow God.
God is not an author of confusion. If you stand up for righteousness and refuse to dip your hands in sin, God will surely make a way for you.
Righteousness invariably exalts while sin will culminate in shame and reproach!
Befriending a married man or woman and sleeping with them in exchange for money is a demonic setup to ruin your life, and lose your soul eternally, but you can still make amends as you read this.
Under no circumstance, excuse or guise will you be justified before God for doing such a thing, so don’t even bother with flimsy excuses, God’s word will never be broken.
If you have been coerced into such or you dabbled into it in ignorance, now you know that it is wrong, and you have the power of choice to decide your future now!
Don’t be deceived, it can never be God’s will for you to date or be sexually involved with a married person. The marriage covenant must be respected. If you have done that, ask God to forgive you and never have an outing again with that married person.
Remember that what you sow is what you reap. You cannot be another person’s headache (in his or her marriage) and expect that it will be well with your own marriage when it comes to your turn!
May God grant you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in hurry. I will not violate God’s principles.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to stay chase in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
If you are not married, don’t demand for sexual gratification. If there is respect, you won’t want his/her virtue compromised to satisfy your own lust. Real love and respect is waiting.
2. Communication
Don’t discuss your past, inadequacies and failures in great detail at the inception of the relationship. Some details are better left until there is acceptance, trust and understanding between the two parties.
However, basic issues like health status, genotype, family history and some other crucial issues need to be discussed as early as possible. If he/she finds out years later, mistrust can easily rear up its heads.
3. Chastity
Don’t start kissing someone you met two hours ago. Don’t end up in a car or in corner in a sexual encounter with a total stranger. That is gross irresponsibility and indiscipline. Moreover, you will be offending God.
4. Emotional Needs
Do not depend on one another for the fulfillment and satisfaction of every emotional need. Your partner is not the Holy Spirit. Participate in activities outside your romantic relationship. Don’t be parochial. Be creative and be open to ideas that will further move your relationship forward. Learn, read books, attend seminars together.
5. Selflessness
Guard against selfishness. Both sides should be involved in giving. Love should be reciprocal. It is not a one way affair, it is a song done by a duet. In marriage, there are no spectators; both are actors striving to get better and sowing energies and time into the marriage to make it work.
Stop quarreling everyday of your courtship. Follow the principles of God and stop every compromise. Make sure your foundation for marriage is rightly laid.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Our love is rekindled daily. I love my spouse and I am committed to our marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes and show me what I know not.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 6:7 GNB Do not deceive yourselves; no one makes a fool of God. You will reap exactly what you plant.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Talk to God. Pour your heart to Him now
Parents usually wish to see their grandchildren on time. Also, they get anxious about your success in life and wouldn’t want you to miss out on any advantage of life they feel is due to you at the time, this can also constitute pressure.
Do not yield to such pressure just to satisfy your parents when you know in your heart that God isn’t leading you yet. You cannot please your parents at the expense of God.
Your parents cannot sustain your marriage, it is only God that can. While it is good to obey and listen to your parents according to the scripture, you cannot obey them when what they are asking you to do clearly violate the principles of God.
Environmental and Media Pressure
A lot of destinies are warped today because of the warped outlook of a given society at any point in time. We live in a sexualized age aided by print and media broadcast, which makes available pornographic and other sinful materials.
However, the environment is not an excuse in any way as God expects that your light shine’s forth in the midst of the darkness. God expects that you stay chaste and refuse to compromise despite all the pressures that come your way. That is how to show your maturity in God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to stay under pressure of any kind. I am in control through the Spirit of God. I exercise authority over all situations and circumstances in Jesus name. I will not crumble under pressures in Jesus name.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me daily to withstand every kind of pressures in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way. James 1:13 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Identify all stress sources, and work towards eliminating one at a time.
The fear of getting the right spouse who wouldn’t treat you harshly or abuse and jilt you is a terrible source of pressure.
There is also the fear of not meeting and having your right spouse in time.
The right way to handle this fear and its pressure is to focus your mind on the truth that God has the right spouse for you, and he or she will come at God’s appointed time.
Fear can immobilize and incapacitate. Fear can also cause you to hasten unnecessarily into dangerous terrains.
Whichever way, you need to know that God has not given you the Spirit of fear. Don’t end up marrying an unbeliever because of fear of getting old.
You cannot try to fix a pressure by violating God’s injunctions. It’s not going to work that way! You cannot jump ahead of God’s timing and expect things to work out. At the end of the day, what you venture into out of fear keeps the process elongated.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – 2Ti 1:7 KJV
Cast out the Spirit of fear and trust your father to give you the best.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
Comparison Traps
Another dangerous source of pressure is comparing yourself with your friends and colleagues, especially when they are all either engaged or married.
You can either be strengthened or intimidated by your friends; do not be intimidated.
Understand that you are uniquely different from every other person; your destiny is quite different from theirs, so your life’s story is also different.
A friend’s success should not determine your direction. It is comparison traps that often drive one into adulterous relationships all in the bid to ‘belong’ or to meet financial pressures.
Avoid this trap as much as possible, because when you keep trying to be like everybody else, you will be like nobody else at the end of the day.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. – 2Co 10:12 KJV
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to stay under pressure of any kind. I am in control through the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me daily to withstand every kind of pressures in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jas 1:13 MSG Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Identify all sources of pressures and work towards eliminating one at a time.
Still talking about pressure. If you missed it, read it HERE
Matchmaking Comments and Prophecies
Comments from friends, family and those you respect and look up to should not be allowed to constitute pressure in your relationship, especially when they are contrary to your personal convictions.
Your decisions should always be influenced by what God says; follow His directions alone!
People may tease you on how good you and someone could be together; they may say you’d make a perfect couple. Do not be influenced against your personal convictions. Pastoral, parental and friendly match-making should serve only as confirmations.
Do not yield to prophetic manipulations or some prophecies. The Bible says woe unto prophets that say that God said something He didn’t say.
No prophet or man of God has any business choosing a spouse for you. It is your responsibility to do that. God may use them to guide, confirm, instruct and advise, but not to choose or impose anybody on you. That is not the purpose of anointing. The anointing is to break yokes and lift burdens, not to add it into people’s lives!
As singles, you should stop taking names all over the place; you will get more confused at the end of the day.
In the first place, you are not supposed to have more than one name! What you should also know is the at most of these prophets are hungry, so they will always have something to say!
Stop looking for directions and wasting your money all over the place. God’s order in the New Testament is not to start seeking direction but to develop a good relationship with God, His word and His Spirit wherein you can hear God clearly and by yourself.
Men of God are to teach, instruct, correct and confirm!
Some of these things border on manipulation and witchcraft where specific directions are being sought all the time. You almost would have to take permission on when to sleep with your spouse in marriage! That is not in the Bible!
Everyone has a responsibility to learn to hear God. It is the greatest blessing you have in life.
I pray over your relationship that God will open your ears and hearts to hear Him clearly and explicitly. He will do a new thing and He will make all things new in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me against any pressure in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
Yesterday, we started looking at some pressures singles face, especially in the areas of relationships and marriage.
Let’s continue…
f. Self-imposed Deadlines
Deadlines are good and advisable, especially in goals achievement; however, they could be a source of pressure, especially in relationships.
You need to be patient and understand that God is involved in it too. He is even more interested than you are in your relationship, and He wants you to marry the right person, at the right time. Things become beautiful in His own time, not your own time.
Do not unnecessarily be in a hurry. The decision of a life-long relationship is worth giving all the time you can reasonably afford. Don’t rush into marriage. Courtship is necessary! Get to know him or her!
g. Emergencies
Do not get pressurized into a relationship because of emergencies. He just won a visa lottery, or got transferred to a distant location, or got a political or ministerial appointment, so he decided to make haste and get married for reasons that could range from ensuring he wouldn’t lose her due to distance or some other reasons.
If you are not very sure of him/her as your right life partner, do not make a marital commitment. Don’t yield to pressures when things become so fast you cannot think again.
Be wary of getting married to somebody you met last week online and then you are planning to resign your job and travel somewhere!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom to rule my house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
There are pressures everywhere. There are pressures that often attempt to take pleasure out of our relationships.
Let’s take a look at some pressures in the area of relationships and how to handle them.
We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; – 2Co 4:8 KJV
1. Sexual attraction
Physical attraction which often leads to sexual attraction can constitute so much pressure. Her possession of all the right statistics, the lips, tips and hips, or his good-looking appearance, height, muscles and riches should not captivate your mind to the point of getting you love-sick with unnecessary pressure.
The truth is that you can actually be in control (just as you have to be), get to know the person well before entering a relationship.
Don’t put yourself under any pressure over somebody you met a few hours ago. You cannot fall in love with someone you don’t know!
The pressure of sexual attraction also plays out itself in extra-marital and adulterous scenarios. You cannot bow under that pressure for any reason, even if you have to be thrown into furnace of fire like the three Hebrew boys where you are being threatened of losing some job or contract.
You should not sleep with your boss in order to keep your job! When you do that, you might think you have sustained your job or some promotions, but I can assure you that you would also have sustained havocs in your life and family and it will all culminate in regrets.
Why? It is not God’s order of doing things. Your body is not for all and sundry, it is not a tool to get what you want; it is the temple of God!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom to rule my house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
An angry person is one to avoid. Two angry people are dangerous people! Simeon and Levi in the scriptures are brothers, but the Bible says their father placed a curse on them because of their unrestrained violent emotions.
Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. –Genesis 49:5-7 (KJV)
They were of like tempers, dispositions, and manners, bold, wrathful, cruel, revengeful, and deceitful, and joined together in their evil counsels and evil actions which resulted in the cruel and barbarous slaughter of the inhabitants of Shechem.
If only one brother was angry, the other could have calmed his brother. But both were angry at the same time, so their anger fuelled one another!
Message translation of verse 5 says:
Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. –Genesis 49:5 (MSG)
As an individual, you must learn to restrain your anger and learn not to react at every provocation so that eventually when you are married, your home will be a habitable place for your children. What happens when my spouse is angry and raises his/her voice at me?
The answer is here;
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. –Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)
Learn to talk softly. You will be amazed! Don’t raise your voice back in anger! Just talking softly will make the anger will be defused. Learn this as singles and you will be saving yourself a lot of headaches.
That is the way Message translation puts it.
A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. –Proverbs 15:1(MSG)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My heart will guide my mouth, and my lips will promote instruction. Jesus has been made unto me wisdom, and I will keep myself under control.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Give me the grace to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendships with a man given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not associate, -Proverb 22:24 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Try and identify your anger triggers and to seek help
Today I will like to do a father-to-child conversation with you. There are lots of things missing in this generation’s relationship life. As much as I wouldn’t be able to capture everything, I believe that you can get something from what I am about to tell you.
Be sincere, as singles in courtship, are you really in the relationship for the long haul or you are just looking for temporary pleasure? Are you being sincere with him or her? Are you sure you are not just leading her on?
Are you confident to say your motive is not the money you can get? Do you really love him or her? Are you protecting her or exploiting her emotions? Do you have some self-control? Can you delay gratification?
That is what separates the boys from the men and the sisters from ‘sistos!’ Are you sure you are not double-dating? Do you realize that when you are double-dating, you are already given to lying and deceptive spirits?
As a single brother or sister who is not in any relationship, are you preparing yourself? How many books have you read to prepare you? Who is your mentor? Who are you accountable to? Are you serving God with your time? Have you dealt with negative self-esteem issues? Are you really single and complete?
These things are the foundation of a good relationship, but it seems old fashion in today’s relationships.
To my dear singles, who are courting, who are you accountable to? Are you really open and truthful to your mentor?
While a lot of people might get to know that you are in a relationship; it’s ok for them to know about who you are going out with, you are only obligated to the person that you consider as a spiritual authority who you can confide in. He is the person you must see whenever you have issues beyond you. It is wrong to report your fiancée or fiancé all over the place. Be accountable to only one person, two at the most, that both of you respect.
Imagine reporting your partner to one of your friends who is not yet in any relationship. What kind of advice do you think he/she will give you?
As singles in courtship, it is wrong to stay over the night in your fiancé’s house. There is no dignity in that. You went to greet him in another city and then he comes up with the card that he doesn’t know any other person you can stay within the whole city?
That is the more reason you should be cautious of such a person because that is an obvious relationship dysfunction. Do not shoot yourself in the leg.
Avoid compromise because every compromise is a legal invitation to the devil to come and wreck that relationship. When you give the devil an inch, he will take a mile!
Stay clean. Stay chaste! Stay with God and you will laugh last!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my life today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
In preparing for a successful marriage, money is not the most important thing.
Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold. – Pro 8:10 KJV
When you have instruction, money will eventually come.
Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life. – Pro 4:13 KJV
Another translation says:
Hold tight to good advice; don’t relax your grip. Guard it well–your life is at stake! – Pro 4:13 MSG
Dear couples to be, hold on tight to wisdom, because your marriage is at stake.
Dear wife to be, beauty is not the only thing you need. Beauty without gumption is ugliness! Sound practical knowledge is essential.
As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. – Pro 11:22 KJV
Message translation says
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head. – Pro 11:22 MSG
Now that you are still single, keep on developing yourself. The Bible says ‘he that findeth a wife…’ Not he that findeth a sister or babe! He that finds a wife!
How do you become a wife without being asked out? By developing yourself and knowing what it takes to be a wife. A wife material is what every man is looking for.
Dear husband to be, you will eventually become the head of the house and give direction to your wife and ultimately your children. Are you ready? Are you currently learning? Are you ready to give the necessary and right leadership not only to your future wife but to your future children as well?
There is no special anointing that comes on you on your wedding day…but you have a whole life on your hands from that day! Keep at self-development.
I pray for you this morning, that the heavens be opened over you and that every door that seem closed, may it open this day of its own accord in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I keep at self development. I search for knowledge daily
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a heart that pants after your word daily.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 13:18 KJV Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to build a Marriage library. Get books and materials on marriage and learn as much as you can.
In the things of God, you are expected to grow. Just like physical food makes us grow, develop and have strong bones, the same way, your spirit man or the inner man ought to grow.
You see, when you start out in God, you may be twenty five years old, but you are actually a spiritual baby. That is why the Bible talks about the milk of the word and the meat of the word.
The more you search God’s word, attend Bible studies, learn to pray, the more you will grow and master your situations and circumstances.
Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge. – Proverbs 23:12 (KJV)
Relationships or marriages do not work out because you are a Christian! It works out because you know what to do! Being born again ensures you make heaven, but what ensures victory on earth is to know what to do in specific situations and your ability to draw wisdom from God’s word.
If marriage is an institution, learning is inevitable! As a matter of fact, your success in that marriage is predicated on your ability to learn principles and apply them.
Knowledge of God’s word will set you free. What you know can push to the top of the ladder. What you don’t know can get you demoted. So, it is in the things of the spirit. No wonder the devil does all things possible to make sure you don’t study God’s word!
Ever wondered why your eyes are so bright when you are watching a film and you are so alert but you start to doze when it comes to God’s word? The one that studied God’s word through the night and the one that made calls talking sweet nonsense would not have same result at the end of the day. One is sowing to the flesh and the other to the spirit and there will be a distinguishing!
Learning from God’s word constantly is a must if you will have victory. There are three processes involved here.
1. Knowledge acquisition.
Knowledge is the accumulation of facts. Read wide. Search for answers. Don’t just assume. Assumption is the lowest form of knowledge. The difference between you and the person you admire is what that person knows.
2. Understanding.
Understanding is the arrangement of facts. Now, you have read, but you must process the facts and sort them. Meditate on them.
3. Wisdom.
It is the application of knowledge. When you apply what you have learnt, that becomes wisdom for you. That is why Pro 23:12 says ‘apply your heart unto instruction…’
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I keep at self-development. I search for knowledge daily
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a heart that pants after your word daily.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured. – Proverbs 13:18 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to build a Marriage library. Get books and materials on marriage and learn as much as you can.
You cannot do it your own way! You belong to God! And you should sound that to the ears of anybody that wants you to compromise, desecrate your body, and jeopardize your destiny.
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; -Galatians 5:19 (MSG)
“But Pastor, there is nothing I can do again and I cannot stop when he or she has already removed his/her clothes! I mean, when I am already seeing nakedness before me!”
“Who says you cannot stop? You can!”
“Pastor, I mean she is already touching my body and all that”
“Okay, let’s assume his name is Buddy. So you are ready to compromise and she goes like: “Oh Buddy, I really appreciate you. I never thought anybody will still love me and accept me. Thanks for loving me. Ever since I have been confirmed positive, I never…”
You see, at that point, whatever was hard would go flaccid instantly! Will Buddy stop or not? He will quickly escape for his life. You see the point. The scripture says “Sin shall not have dominion over you!”
In a scenario of compromise, what the scripture advises is for you to “flee” Flee means “to run away as in terror” That is how to escape such.
When the Bible says “run”, don’t say “let’s reason together!
Tongues will not help you at that time, only your feet will do. Save yourself from this untoward generation and run to God for help.
Joseph ran away from Potiphar’s wife and he preserved his destiny, He became a Prime Minister. Samson didn’t run and he had his eyes gouged out, he died with his destiny unfulfilled and cut off in the midst of his days.
If you are already compromised, run to God, our father of all mercies and He will surely embrace you and forgive you.
The part that I like so much about God is that He will forgive and forget! Your iniquity will I remember no more! He will simply forget you ever did anything, when you come before him genuinely and sincerely.
Embrace his love and mercy today, it is the best option you have. I pray today for you that God’s mercies will surround you and He will envelope you in His everlasting arms!
CONFESSIONFOR THE DAY I am delivered from the spirit of mammon. I am free from lust. I am freed by God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every yoke in my emotions, body and my mind by the power of the Holy Spirit and in the name of Jesus.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY What the sinful nature does is clear. It enjoys sexual sins, impure acts and wild living. –Galatians 5:19 (NIV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study on “My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.”
