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I know that there are no perfect persons and we are all projects in the hands of God, however, there are basic traits to watch out for generally. While you may not be able to find a person that successfully combines all these, the qualities should guide you in your decision. If a person does not have character defects and does not live in habitual sin, some of these qualities can be improved upon by asking God for His grace.

1. The Test Of Integrity.

Test him for faithfulness and integrity in little and big things. Make sure she has integrity and her words and actions line up. Integrity is very important because that is what will eventually preserve you.

The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. -Proverbs 11:3 (KJV)

God loves integrity. In Job 2:3, God boasted about Job and he mentioned his integrity. Integrity in that verse means ‘innocence.’

The potential guy or the lady must have integrity as well. It is a great legacy to pass to the children. Integrity is from the word ‘Integral” meaning one. You are supposed to be the same person within and without.

Don’t marry a gentle saint on Sundays but a vicious man on Mondays. Be careful of dual personalities who seem to give their lives to Jesus one moment and then take the life back the next moment. How will you know all these? These are the things you will find out when you are friends. 

That is why pre-marital sex should be avoided because it will get you confused and distracted. You see, the moment you are illegally bonded together in pre-marital sex, the obvious character defects that others can see will mean nothing to you.

They will ask you questions like, “What are you doing with that kind of person?” And you will be like; ‘leave me alone, I love him, he will change!’

You see, you have not even changed yourself! You are not the Holy Spirit who changes people! What the scripture says is that you should not be unequally yoked!

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? -2Corintians 6:14-15 (MSG)  

2.   The Test Of Diligence.  

You cannot afford to marry a lazy man or an indolent woman. It will slow your journey down. Diligence is measured with so many indices like tenacity, business acumen, career pursuit, doggedness, and so on. You may not have so much today, but with diligence in a potential spouse, you can be sure you will be great in life.

Do you see a man diligent and skillful in his business? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men. -Proverbs 22:29 (AMP)

You cannot afford to commit your life to the hands of a lazy person. That is subjecting your life to unnecessary afflictions that could have been avoided. 

To be continued…

I have the Spirit of wisdom to discern and choose that which is good for my destiny.

Holy Spirit, fill me afresh with your wisdom in the affairs of my relationship.

Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry put you further behind. – Proverbs 21:5 (MSG)

Commit your ways unto the Lord

2King 12


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