How To Speak Your Wife’s Language

How To Speak Your Wife's Language
Reading Time: 3 minutes

I purposely did not use the word ‘Love Language’ but used your wife’s ‘Language’ so that you can see the similarities. It is easier for us to relate to ‘your wife’s Language’ than it is to relate to love language.

Just as you can never think of marrying a wife who does not speak your language, it is ridiculous for you not to speak your wife’s love language.

Every woman has a love language. That love language is what she understands, is used to, and can relate to. In this language, she understands and can sense love.

Until you speak this language, she cannot sense or understand that you love her. It is like speaking Japanese to an English woman. It does not make any sense, and you sure are not making sense to her.

A woman knows that you love her when you communicate this love in a language that she understands. The problem is that most men are communicating this love to their wives in another language.

Note that there is something in every woman that craves being loved by her husband. Yes, she can be loved by her colleagues, friends, or siblings but there is something about the love of her husband. It may be because it is the way God ordered it from the beginning.

Eph 5:33
Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.

If husbands want to be found fulfilling their primary and basic role in the marriage covenant, it is good for each husband to learn to speak his wife’s language.

It makes a lot of sense if you at least become conversant with your wife’s language. It helps better communication in the marriage institution. Just like in our illustration of the English woman and the Japanese language speaking to her.

There are five basic love languages. We will look at each one so you can get a good understanding of each of them.

1. Words of affirmation

2. Quality time

3. Service

4. Gifts

5. Physical touch

All these love languages are to be understood if you want to love your wife on her own terms (in her own language) and not yours.

1. Words of affirmation.

If this is your wife’s love language, that just means that she likes to be spoken to. She may or may not be quiet, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that your words mean a lot to her. You have to be constantly speaking words of encouragement to her.

Appreciating her by commenting on her efforts, looks, achievements, and verbalizing your love must be regular.

She senses love when she’s been constantly spoken to. Her energy to move on comes by appreciating her and saying sweet words to her. When you don’t speak kind words to her, she doesn’t sense your love towards her as a husband. Your words must be kind.

If on the contrary, you speak harshly to her, she senses harshness rather than love and sensitivity.

We will continue tomorrow.

God bless your marriage

I am patient. 

Pray for wisdom in your marriage

“In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)

Find out what her love language is

Isaiah 5-8

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By Sophia Okunowo

Pastor Sophia is a mother, mentor and pastors along side her husband.

One thought on “How To Speak Your Wife’s Language

  • Doyinsola Fatokunbo -

    My husband speaks my language. Lord, help us to understand ourselves in the best way. Our marriage is blessed, In Jesus Name.Amen.

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