Mercy Said No! Listen to me, you are a candidate for God’s mercy, as long as you are God’s child.
Thank God for His mercies.
Do you remember that song by CeCe Winans? “Mercy said No”
The devil said you will not live long, but mercy said “No!” The devil said you won’t get married, but mercy said “No!” The devil said you won’t have children, but mercy said “No!”
As a young man preparing for marriage in the nineties, the devil said to me, that I would not be able to father children, but mercy said “No!” Today, God has given us three boys! Mercy Said No!
The devil told Joseph he won’t realize his dreams, but mercy said “No!
The devil wanted to snuff out the life of Jesus as a baby, but mercy said “No!”
At a time, it looked like it was over for me in ministry when I made a decision to quit pastoring a local assembly and obey God in starting an online ministry, and I thought it was over too, but mercy said “No!”
They said you will not graduate, but mercy said “No!”
They said you are good for nothing, but mercy said “No!
They said you are not fine, but mercy said “No!” You ended up getting a fine spouse!
They said you will be poor forever, but mercy said “No!”
The devil thought he would end your life because of that mistake you made, but mercy said “No!”
The prodigal son thought it was over for him as he ate the portion that belonged to the pigs, but mercy said “No!
They threw Apostle John into a drum of boiling oil, to fry him alive but mercy said “No!” He just wouldn’t die!
Listen to me, it is too late for the devil. Mercy covers you. Mercy is speaking for you before God. Jesus took His blood, the offering carried by the offerer, and sprinkled all of it on the mercy seat, just because of you.
Where are you this morning? Let the mercy of God locate you. Let that mercy speak for you!
I see God’s mercy bailing you out. Yes, you messed up quite alright, but His mercy will bring out a message from that mess.
Let hope come alive in your spirit this morning. Mercy is here! Mercy is for you and that mercy is holding you by the hand.
“ARISE [ from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you—rise to a new life ]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you! [ Zec 8:23 ]” (Isa 60:1, AMP)
Arise Now! It is not over. That jilting experience cannot define you. That abandonment does not qualify you, because of His Mercies! What if you lost all the money? Start over because of His Mercies!
Rise to a new life! I curse that spirit of depression and despondency right now that seeks to pull your head down! Rise up into the newness of God and Shine!
How To Stop Negative Thoughts. How do you stop negative thoughts from ruining your relationship or marriage as single or married? Too many a relationship and marriages have been ruined by the kinds of thoughts that were entertained.
Thoughts are so powerful that they will eventually overwhelm your life and give your life direction.
Thoughts can be so healthy that they would drive sicknesses away. Thoughts can be so sickening to the point of physical paralysis.
How do you convince a man or woman to become a suicide bomber? They simply work on the thought realm. Once the person embraces the proposition in the thought realm, the rest is easy.
Why would a man jump into a river, commit suicide, and end it all? He has first done so in the thought realm, he only acted out what he had done.
Such is the power of your mind.
No wonder, the method through which God will change you daily into becoming who He wants you to be is through the renewal of your mind.
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Rom 12:2, KJV)
Transformation comes as a child of God as you read, study, and meditate on God’s word.
In the same way, the method that the devil would use if he wants to ruin a relationship or marriage is through thoughts. Precisely, negative thoughts and lies!
All the quarrels in a relationship and marriage first of all start in your thoughts. When you are negative-minded and full of doubts and mistrust, the relationship or marriage in question will be shaky.
When you are negative-minded, you will misinterpret every effort of your spouse. You will suspect every move and you will not give your spouse breathing space.
The next question is how do you stop negative thoughts?
Let’s take a look at the process.
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” (2Co 10:3-5, KJV)
1. “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh Negative thoughts are not just about temperaments. It is beyond that. Never ever say something like, “that is how I am, I always think negatively.” You must wake up to the reality that the spirit realm exists and negative forces would often try to influence your thinking culture.
2. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. We cannot solve the problems of negative thoughts by some psychology or some set of therapies alone, we have to look up to God and make use of the weapons of our warfare. This is because you are dealing with strongholds in the mind. What are the weapons of our warfare? God’s word, praying in the spirit, the blood of Jesus, and so on.
3. Casting down imaginations Negative imaginations will come. Negative suggestions will come, but we must cast them down.
These negative thoughts seek to ride you over, they want to get on top of your thought center, but what does the scripture say? You cast them down!
You deliberately refuse these lies of the devil that he is trying to suggest to your mind. You say with your mouth, “you negative thought, I cast you down in Jesus’ name!
It is not a once and for all exercise, because the devil will not relent in bringing those thoughts. So you keep at it. That is why it says, “Casting…”
4. And every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God That is how you identify negative thoughts. Those thoughts try to exalt themselves against the knowledge of God’s word. They will challenge the truth of God’s word. For example, a thought that comes that, “There is nothing wrong in having pre-marital sex, everybody does it,” is trying to exalt itself against the knowledge of God’s word. You cast it down!
5. And bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ Every thought that comes, you bring into captivity. How do you do that? It means to arrest. You arrest every thought and put it captive under God’s word. You use the word of God to judge it. The word will either condemn such words and sentence them into oblivion or acquit such thought as healthy.
Before you act out any thought. arrest it and bring it captive with God’s word. That way, you will deal with negative thoughts and dwell more on God’s word which will advance your relationship, marriage, and life.
I pray for you this morning, every power of negative thoughts in your life is hereby crushed in Jesus’ name.
All Things Will Be Well. A lady sat before me some three years ago. She told me how nobody ever asks her out. She is worried and thinks there is a curse somewhere. She felt it is abnormal that nobody ever asks her out. I looked at her and told her there was no curse anywhere. I further told her that she would marry a Pastor! She laughed in disbelief. Well today, she is married to a Pastor and with a baby as well.
Pastor, I don’t know what is going on in my life. I don’t understand again. Nothing seems to be working! You know what? God said I should tell you this morning, All things will be well!
2Ki 4:26 (KJV) Run now, I pray thee, to meet her, and say unto her, Is it well with thee? is it well with thy husband? is it well with the child? And she answered, It is well.
Learn to declare it is well regardless of what you are going through! All Things Will Be Well.
Psa 107:1-2 (KJV) O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. [2] Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
You’ve got to keep declaring that all is well. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so! You will eventually have what you say!
Never give in to negative words! Your words are powerful! Where you are today is a snapshot of your words and thoughts in the past!
Declare words into your future. Declare words into your relationship, wedding day, and or marriage!
Declare words over your spouse and children!
Declare words concerning the fruit of the womb and never give in to depression or despondency!
As you do so, you will see the travail of your hearts! I pray for you this morning, God will honor your words in Jesus’ name! All Things Will Be Well.
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Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? The referee wields a lot of power in the football game. He is the arbitrator and he decides what is clearly a goal or what is a foul.
In life and marriage, there are goals and there are fouls.
When you play to the rule of the game, you will score and your courtship or relationship will lead to marriage.
But when you contravene the rules of the game, it becomes a foul, and the game is affected.
In relationships, there are things God wants and there are things He doesn’t want. They are all clearly spelled out in the scriptures.
Pre-marital sex for example is a foul in the game. It affects the game, really. You lose God’s favour and support when you do what you are not supposed to do. One will just be dribbling up and down with no goal to show for it.
In marriage, being unfaithful to your spouse for whatever reason is a foul. It will tamper with the marital covenant and the consequences are rife.
Thank God because He is a forgiving God and He will forgive and forget when you repent genuinely.
The Bible talks about umpire or referee. Take a look.
“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [ deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state ] to which as [ members of Christ’s ] one body you were also called [ to live ]. And be thankful (appreciative), [ giving praise to God always ].” (Col 3:15, AMP)
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? Do you have questions arising about who to marry? Are you unsure whether he is the one or whether she is the right person?
Do you have anxieties about what to do as a married man or woman or what career path to follow?
The scripture says that there is something that can settle with all finality and tell you exactly what to do.
This is what is called the peace of God.
The presence of this peace tells you that you are taking the right decision.
The absence of this peace tells you that you are about taking a wrong decision or you are already in the wrong decision.
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? What are the feelings you have when there is peace of God about a decision?
1. You will have a feeling of “all is well.” 2. You will have a deep sense of wholeness and assurance that God is with you. 3. You will have an unexplainable calmness that you are taking the right decision
Why do I say unexplainable?
Here it is:
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, KJV)
It passes all understanding. It cannot be logically decoded, in fact, it oftentimes defies logic.
It may be difficult to explain, but you will know it is there.
That is what happens when you don’t like the financial status of a loved one, yet you feel the peace of God that all will be well.
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? The next question is what feelings do you have when the peace of God is not there?
1. You will have a feeling of “all is not well.” 2. You will have a red card issued in your heart just like the referee issues a red card in a match. 3. You will have unexplainable fear about your decision. 4. Each time you think about the decision, you will have an uneasy feeling.
This is like the feeling you have when all seems set in terms of finances, and the job security of the person you are considering, and yet, this fear that something is wrong deep in your belly exists.
Never ever ignore this feeling. Never ignore the referee!
You see, as a child of God, He doesn’t want evil to befall you, so He will warn you before taking a decision that would not end well.
The peace of God within you shows you His will for you. He leads you into His will by His peace.
What happens when you can’t sense anything or when emotions have taken over and you cannot hear God?
You will need to separate yourself in the place of prayer with fasting and then, you will surely hear God. You will also need to fill yourself with God’s word regularly.
If you are already married, and you feel you are outside of God’s will, the immediate thing to do is not to walk away from your marriage but to commit it into God’s hands for His intervention.
Trust me, God answers prayers, when you believe.
I pray that God will give us more understanding on this subject. Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me?
God’s Leading And Who To Marry. Sally wanted what would prevent her from falling in love with the wrong person and wasting her time on what is not going to work. She wanted to save her emotions from roller-coaster rides that lead nowhere. She doesn’t want to spend so much time and resources with George for years and then discovers she’s been hobnobbing with the wrong person.
Note that the wrong guy or lady is not always a bad person. Someone can be so cool, gentle, born again and spirit filled and yet not meant for you. Mr. Good is not always Mr.Right, but Mr. Bad would never be Mr.Right.
So, the question of praying over an unbeliever is out of it, the scripture is clear on that.
Why should I expect to be led before deciding on my choice of who to marry? God’s Leading And Who To Marry
He promised to lead us!
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. (Romans 8:14 KJV)
You know you are a son or a daughter of God because you are led.
You know you have a relationship with God when He leads you.
The next question is how does God lead?
If I can know how God leads, then I will be able to follow Him. Wouldn’t it be nice to know the wrong man or the wrong lady right away?
What is God’s leading as it relates to relationships and marriage?
God can lead you into a relationship without hearing a single voice or seeing any vision!
The way you will be led is the same way you know you are a child of God!
How are you sure you are born again? How do you know Jesus Christ really came and died for you? How do you know there is a heaven and God is there and Jesus is seated with Him? Have you been there? Did you see Him? You didn’t see Him and meet Him one on one! But the reality of His existence is so deep within you that nobody can talk you out of it. How did you become so sure? It is so simple. The Spirit of God bears witness with your spirit that there is God. It is what is referred to as an inner witness.
Because you simply know within yourself that God is. You may not be able to prove it, but you just know in your ‘knower’ that God exists. You know in your ‘knower’ that Jesus died for your sins. You were not there in Golgotha with him physically, but you just know it happened deep within you.
That is what is referred to as an ‘Inner witness.’
It is an unexplainable knowing, a deep-seated assurance that resides within you!
Don’t let the devil come to you and tell you that the reason you have a troubled marriage is that you didn’t have any dreams or hear a voice!
Even if you have a hundred dreams, you are not supposed to take an action without that inner witness and God’s leading! You see, the devil can manipulate your dreams if you are not grounded, but He cannot manipulate your inner witness. It is either you have peace or you don’t have it about a decision.
This peace of God is what you have when you are being led by God and it is His will on a particular decision. When this peace is not there, then God is not leading you!
This is why it is important to seek God’s leading about a guy or lady before emotions get involved. God’s Leading And Who To Marry
See it described in the scripture
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 KJV)
I like it, particularly in the Amplified version
And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Did you see that? That peace of God, that transcends every understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds. Garrison! Mount guard! Those are military terms. That is exactly what happens when you allow the peace of God and you are led by Him. His leading is a like a soldier protecting you. Do you know why? God will never lead you wrong! Glory to God! He will not lead you into misery! Thank God for His leadership.
Let’s see one more scripture that describes this peace as I round up.
“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [ deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state ] to which as [ members of Christ’s ] one body you were also called [ to live ]. And be thankful (appreciative), [ giving praise to God always ].” (Col 3:15, AMP)
Did you see that? That peace acts as an umpire or a referee in your heart and decides or settles with all finality every question by reason of that peaceful state!
When peace is not there, and you have unexplainable fear, and red light in your heart, you should not go ahead even when everything looks perfect physically!
When everything looks like somehow in the physical, and yet you have peace, you have this feeling that all is well, that you are in His plan, that is a green light that God is leading you.
What if your emotions are already involved and you are unsure? Press the Pause button! Go into the place of prayer, fast, and pray in the spirit for a long time until your spirit can push emotions down and then pick a signal from God on what to do!
God is the one that can re-order our steps when we have made mistakes; He is the one that will lead us into our wealthy place. Stay with God and you will never regret it. Don’t be led by your feelings which can be fickle, be led by the Holy Spirit, and you will be protected! God’s Leading And Who To Marry
Should I Trust my Dreams? What do you do when you have dreams? Are dreams authentic enough to be acted upon?
I remember as a young man in my teen years, I was harassed with so many dreams. I was born again, but I didn’t know my rights. I would dream and find myself eating in dreams. I didn’t know whether it was negative or positive, but I was not fond of it at all.
I approached my pastors for help. They would pray but it continued. I met another pastor who said that I should forget about it and that maybe I didn’t eat well before I slept.
Another said if I take any deadly thing, it would not hurt me.
I believe all that, but I didn’t like that feeling. Should I Trust my Dreams?
One day, I got angry. I would have none of this again. I was a meeting as a University student. The Secretary General of the fellowship then (OVCF) was ministering in the person of Barrister Asorona Lawal.
Under a heavy anointing and word of knowledge, he called me out and said that oppression is over, waving his handkerchief at me.
And indeed, it was over. I use to read Psalm 91 every night then.
All those useless dreams stopped, in their place and I started dreaming about my future, about ministry, and about good things.
The reality was that I had a gift to dream. It is not one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but you see it is a vehicle for the gift of the Spirit. For example, a word of knowledge can come through the vehicle of a dream.
I continued to dream, but these were now revelatory dreams. I knew so much through dreams and visions of the night.
In my final years in the university, I had over a hundred dreams of seeing myself ministering in meetings, healing meetings, churches, crusades, and all that. That God was calling me was not in doubt.
Before I proposed to my wife, I dreamt about her over fifty times in a period of over a year in different ways that I was convinced she was the one meant for me.
I had dreams and revelations about anything and everything. I would see myself holding my meetings before the meeting and everything that would happen would have been acted out.
I had dreams about my siblings who wanted to take the wrong steps in marriage. I saw people before I met them.
Then there were times I would have dreams, that practically had no meaning.
I told you all that to let you know that dreams can come from three sources:
1. From God
2. From the devil
3. From you (from a multitude of thoughts)
Gen 37:9 (KJV) And he dreamed yet another dream…
Should I Trust my Dreams? God can reveal His heart to you concerning relationships and marriage, but you cannot rely on your dreams alone!
The primary way that God will lead you is through inner witness.
God can also warn you about taking the wrong step in relationships and marriage in dreams.
But listen to this. You cannot trust all your dreams when you are not filled with God’s word and God’s Spirit.
It is God’s word that can cleanse your dream life. If you are not grounded in the word, the devil will exploit that gift and send conflicting messages to get you confused.
That is why an unbeliever can often have revelatory dreams, but his dream life will be convoluted, with confusing signals because the God factor is missing in his life.
The baseline is this, whatever gift you have, you must stay and live in God’s word consistently to keep that gift untainted.
You cannot build your ministry, life, relationship, or marriage around a gift alone. You cannot go ahead and ask a lady out because of one dream.
Let the word of God stabilize your dream life.
And if you don’t dream at all, you are not less spiritual. You only need to discover the pattern through which God speaks to you and learn to rely more on the inner witness.
God doesn’t love those that dream more than those who don’t dream. God is not partial. Everybody can access God’s plan and heart through the Spirit of God and through that inner witness.
Let me conclude with this:
Never take a consequential decision because of just one dream. Always pray in the spirit about any dream and for God to tell you the full import of those dreams that can often come in symbols, puzzles, and parables.
I pray that God will grant you more understanding.
How To Overcome Fear. Sally and George are in courtship and looking forward to marriage. But Sade is full of fears and questions. Will I be able to give birth? Is marriage meant for me? Will I be rich or wallow in abject poverty? What will the future look like? Will I live long? Her questions are endless and unending, fueled by constant fear.
The Johnsons on the other hand are married, but John is not exempted from a morbid fear that literally gripped them by the jugular.
How To Overcome Fear Will our kids be safe in school? I hope my little girl will not be abused in school. Each time he drives on the ever-busy road to his work, incessant flashes of accident scenes involving him would persist. Fear would often grip him so much that he sometimes needed to wipe his brow in an air-conditioned car!
Fear is never fair. It is more than a feeling, it is a demonic grip. That is why there are thousands of different fears and an innumerable number of phobias that the devil uses to hold men to ransom.
Fear is bondage and some people are actually bound all their lifetime in this weapon that the devil often wields, especially the fear of death.
“And also that He might deliver and completely set free all those who through the [ haunting ] fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives.” (Heb 2:15, AMP)
The above scripture says as a child of God you have been delivered and COMPLETELY set free! In relationships and marriage, several fears come through the devil into our minds.
Never entertain them!
You see, the devil cannot impose anything on you unless you permit him by embracing fear through the fearful thoughts he suggests in your mind.
He comes around and tells you that you will never get married. You look at yourself at over thirty years of age, and then you believe the fear. The moment you believe that fear and embrace it, then it actually becomes your experience!
What are you supposed to do?
You are supposed to reject it and refuse it!
Refuse to be entangled! Take a look at the scripture here:
“IN [ this ] freedom Christ has made us free [ and completely liberated us ]; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery [ which you have once put off ].” (Gal 5:1, AMP)
In practical terms, you refuse his fears by confessing what God says! That is why your inner man must be filled with God’s word constantly. The word of God that you read daily is not for fun, rather it will infuse strength into you such that when the devil ones with his attacks, God’s word, and Spirit will raise a standard against it.
As a single guy, I was harassed daily with the fear that I would never be able to father children.
Thank God for the little I knew then. I ran into God’s word and searched for what God said about childbirth. That is how to deal with fear!
The devil said something about fear. But what did God say? Whose reports will you believe?
So I saw a scripture and I wrote it out and I kept saying that, it must have been millions of times.
“Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.” (Psa 128:3, KJV)
I said it so much until the fear was rendered null and void and I knew I would have children. I told my fiancee, then to keep confessing it without telling her why.
That is what God’s word does. It would fill you with hope and faith and when the devil comes with his fear, you will just laugh at his face!
God’s word works!
After the wedding, the first pregnancy we had actually went down in miscarriage and that fear returned. The devil told me, you see, it didn’t work! You are infertile and your wife is barren!
But I stood my ground! I went back into God’s word. I saw there that none shall be barren.
“there won’t be any miscarriages nor barren women in your land. I’ll make sure you live full and complete lives.” (Exo 23:26, MSG)
All the while, I never told my wife about the fear I had and constant fearful dreams about not having children. That fear persisted in my head, but I did not allow it to enter my heart.
Since it wasn’t in my heart, it couldn’t come out of my mouth, for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
I refuse to verbalize it. When you say something, you empower that fear. Rather than speak the fear, speak the word.
I simply went back into God’s word. That word never fails. And it didn’t fail us. Today, we have three, and we could have had more if we wanted.
Whatever fear you have can be dealt with this way, God’s word in your heart and in your mouth! It works. This is How To Overcome Fear
This morning, I curse the spirit of fear in your life! I proclaim you free in Jesus’ name from every weapon of the evil one. God’s word over your life will stand and you will have victory in Jesus’ name.
Knowing The Lover Who Is Spiritual. This morning, we continue from where we left off yesterday. How do you know the lover who is spiritual and the one who is not?
3. Availability and willingness to serve
What about the brother or sister that is always there to serve? Morning, afternoon, and evening, he or she is always there serving. Well, the thing is that there is something called “eye service!”
So, this is ruled out as well.
This cannot be exclusively used as a parameter for spirituality.
4. Closeness to Pastor
Brother George is so close to Pastor, which means he is very spiritual! Well, you cannot use that alone as a yardstick as well. Some of the closest people to pastors can be worse than unbelievers in their dispositions. Remember Judas was close the Jesus. He was a trusted ally and he was the treasurer, but the guy kept stealing!
5. Insight and Revelations
What about a brother or sister that can share revelations and has a lot of insights into the scriptures? Yes, it can often determine how spiritual but not always. I have seen some deeply insightful preachers who are unrepentant adulterers! I have seen some very religious habitual sinners who will give you insight into why they can fornicate and still be anointed.
6. Gifted and Talented
What if somebody is talented and gifted? He must be spiritual, maybe that is why God gave him or her so many talents. Well, some of the most gifted people are also some of the most careless I have seen. Their gifts become a source of pride and they easily become cocky, and there is nothing spiritual in being proud.
7. Niceness
What about those who are very nice? Does it mean that they are spiritual? Well, I have seen some unbelievers that are really nice as well. And again, being nice is not a fruit of the Spirit!
We can go on and on, but then what is the way to know and recognize a spiritual person?
Here is the answer. It is only by their heart! You know a person by the kind of heart that person has!
Every good thing that a man does comes from the heart. Every bad thing that a woman does comes from her heart.
” A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. ” (Luk 6:45, KJV)
Now, the challenge is that nobody can see a man’s heart! So what do you do? That is a huge dilemma, but there is a way out.
There are only two ways to know what is in a man’s heart.
1. Through God
Man looks outward, but God sees the heart. Go to God in prayer for who to get involved with
God can see the heart of everybody and anybody. He sees the future of the person. So when He leads you, He cannot lead you wrong. All the above qualities are good to watch out for, but ultimately, God’s direction is what you should follow.
It is only God that knows the one that seems spiritual but is as carnal as anybody can be. It is also God that knows the one that is seemingly carnal but will end up becoming a man of God or woman of God. Let God lead you.
2. Through words
The other way to know what is in the heart of man is what you see in the above verse: out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
Watch his or her words, those are exact pictures of what lies within. His words will betray him.
He or she might say he is joking, but the scripture warns about coarse joking.
For married couples, there are a few things you can do together that will help you grow more spiritually. Attend the same church regularly. Pray together. Share scriptures with each other. Exchange books and discuss them. Have a common mentor you see regularly.
How To Know The Spiritual Lover. This has been a pertinent and persistent question in the heart of many singles. How do you know a spiritual brother or sister?
In the multitudes of the people that attend a church, in their thousands, how do you know who is spiritual and who is right for you?
You’ll get to see different kinds of people in the church, the short, the tall, the dark-complexioned, the light-complexioned, the fat, the slim, the not too fat and not too slim, the quiet and the loud, and so on and so forth.
How do you choose?
How To Know The Spiritual Lover
1. Actions
Can you really get to know a spiritual person by his actions? He is always acting great and gentlemanly.
The problem here is that people can pretend. A lot of people can act and be dramatic to get what they want. So, actions are ruled out! You can’t really conclude about a person based on his actions alone. I have had a lot of young girls call me in regret that their husbands pretended during courtship but are now showing true colours. In effect, a lover can hide true colour with fake colour. It’s simple colour mixing!
How To Know The Spiritual Lover
2. Tongues
What about tongues? The other time, brother Zerubbabel ended his relationship with Sister Sube because Sister Sube’s tongues was always sounding like “Sandal” After waiting for Sister Sube’s tongue to improve for three months but without any noticeable change, he ended the relationship. His thought was that if she was at “Sandal, Sandal…” for months, when will she get to “Shoes!”
But the reality is that you cannot judge spirituality by how a tongue sounds. He that prays in an unknown tongue prays unto God, not unto you. He prays mysteries to God, not to please you. The tongue may sound like a monosyllable for years, but that does not make the person less spiritual than the person whose tongue sounds like a combination of German, Chinese, and Yoruba!
Many people “lose” their tongues quickly when they are faced with pressures. That is when you get to know who is really spiritual.
The one whose tongue is filled with rich vowels and doesn’t know how to cook or be courteous is carnal. Not spiritual at all.
After marriage, you will discover you are not as interested in tongues as you are in having a good spouse, a responsible husband, and a homely wife.
What is the purpose of a wife who speaks in tongues but is denying her husband sex all the time? Nothing spiritual about that!
What is the purpose of a husband who dutifully goes through morning devotion but will do afternoon chatting with different girls?
What is the purpose of being naked before God in prayer but also sending nudes to men?
How To Know The Spiritual Lover goes beyond listening to his or her tongues!
Stop listening to how tongues sound to deduce how spiritual a person is!
I will stop here this morning and continue tomorrow!
When You Hate The One You Love. It sounds like a contradiction, but in no way establishes its dubiety. It is not healthy, but it happens. Nobody wants it, but you sometimes find yourself at loggerheads and you yield to your flesh and just want to stay angry, bitter, and in strife, always to one’s detriment though.
The implications are rife. It doesn’t matter if it is between two people in courtship or between a married couple. The spiritual implications are weighty and are the same.
What could lead to times When You Hate The One You Love? Anything could have happened. Differences in temperament, upbringing, culture, environment, spiritual maturity, and exposure can often contribute to anger tantrums and quarrel spots.
However as a child of God, you cannot yield to the flesh all the time, or else a lot of things would be grounded in your life.
As a matter of fact, the scripture aptly says that your prayer can run aground with strife and bitterness.
“For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” (Jas 3:16, KJV)
A relationship or marriage that will succeed has to be devoid of strife.
When you make a decision to stay off strife as a single or married, you are actually bringing honour into your life. Take a look at the scripture:
” It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.” (Pro 20:3, KJV)
What leads to strife? When You Hate The One You Love.
Anger, quarrels, hurt, bitterness, unforgiving attitudes, and the like.
But Pastor, must I sweep things under the carpet just to avoid strife?
No!
So, what do you do?
Confront issues, but forgive quickly!
It is interesting, but really, we get hurt the most by the ones we love the most! We find ourselves momentarily hating the one we love.
Why is that?
The reason is obvious. With love comes trust. But when that trust is ruptured, the heart is punctured and the wound can be so deep because trust has been violated. The wound can be so deep that no balm can heal, but thank God there is a balm in Gilead!
Now, you need to analyze issues.
The event that led to mistrust, was it a genuine mistake or a deliberate habit being used to manipulate and toy with your emotions?
If an action is habitual, while you are the victim all the time and you are still single, the idea is not to keep forgiving and stay there until your esteem is completely plundered and your dignity is trampled. Sometimes, the way out of such strife as singles is to forgive the person and then end such relationships, because the person in view is far from repentance. The stark reality is that you can’t change anybody!
When they got in strife with Isaac over the well he dug, what did he do? He left them and moved on and eventually dug another well where there were no contentions.
“And Isaac’s servants digged in the valley, and found there a well of springing water. And the herdmen of Gerar did strive with Isaac’s herdmen, saying, The water is ours: and he called the name of the well Esek; because they strove with him. And they digged another well, and strove for that also: and he called the name of it Sitnah. And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the LORD hath made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.” (Gen 26:19-22, KJV)
It is only in marriage that you cannot just wake up and walk out of your matrimonial home over trivial issues. You are to stay there and fight for your marriage unless your life is threatened and you are no longer safe.
As singles, we must also know that the incessant strife and quarrels would be a result of either two things:
You are out of God’s will, so things are not working
You are in God’s will, so the devil is contending your togetherness.
The best thing to do in such scenarios is to go and pray and find out from God exactly what to do. This will then help you to pray and make your decisions.
As married couples, get your mentor or pastor involved, in prolonged anger and strife, sometimes what has been a persistent source of bickering in your home is just a statement away from its solution when you ask people ahead of you. This is what to do When You Hate The One You Love.
I pray for you this morning, may every storm in your relationship, marriage, and life be stilled in Jesus’ name!
Finish The Doubts! So how will Sally avoid doubts? How will she minimize doubts? This is our subject for discourse today as we continue from where we stopped yesterday.
Finish The Doubts!
1. The first thing to note is that you should never take a step until you are sure of God’s plan! That way, you are rock solid when doubt surfaces because you already know what you are doing. Let doubts come from a thousand ends, you remain steadfast because you already heard God and His word that you heard would stabilize you and become an anchor to your soul.
2. Don’t fall in love anyhow. Fall in love with common sense and with your eyes open.
3. Do not despise the wisdom of authority figures in your life. They may not always be right, but God can often use their voice to speak to you and keep you from making costly mistakes.
4. Read God’s word regularly. That is what will stabilize your soul. Pray as well and speak in tongues a lot.
What do you do if you are already in doubt?
1. Take time to go back to God in prayers and listen to Him talk to you again.
2. Fast if necessary and spend time in God’s presence until you hear Him
3. Clean up your life from all forms of sexual compromises. Pre-marital and other sexual sins will usually bring confusion and with confusion, there will be huge kettles of doubt in your mind.
4. If you are married and doubt keeps coming, the solution is not to walk out of your marriage. Instead, stay with your spouse and refuse to entertain doubts. Go to God in prayers and renew your covenant with God. See doubt as an attempt from the devil to render your prayers ineffective, so guard against it. Finish The Doubts!
Lastly, how can one be sure that a decision is of God?
The acid test is what is called “peace”
Take a look at this scripture:
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 KJV)
Amplified Version: “And God’s peace [ shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace ] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, AMP)
Did you see that? This peace that comes as an assurance of God’s voice concerning a decision will become like an army officer to your soul, It will mount guard and disallow any doubt from accessing your mind. Glory to God!
My prayer for you this morning is that you will indeed hear God. I speak against every confusion in your life, no more in Jesus’ name! I come against every plan of the devil, every intent of hell, every strategy of the evil one, no more in your life in Jesus’ name! Finish The Doubts!
I speak peace to every storm in marriages, and I pray for God’s divine intervention in Jesus’ name!
In Love, But In Doubt! Sally is so much in love and yet her soul is engulfed in an Island of doubt. The contradiction is a source of confusion for her. How can I be in love and yet doubt holds me in the jugular, suffocating the life out of me with unending questions and anxieties?
The Johnsons are not spared. Mr. Johnson had just lost his job in the Oil and Gas sector and their finances had plummeted. Mrs. Johnson for the first time after their wedding began to question her choice and began to think her wrong choice could be what is sponsoring their present predicament. In Love, But In Doubt!
It happens all the time. You fall in love, you make commitments, and in some cases, wedding plans begin, and then like a mighty tornado from nowhere, doubt hits you like you hit someone with a sledgehammer.
I thought I was in love! Where is this doubt coming from? O Lord, help me!
It even gets more confusing when compromise or specifically, sex is involved. You hardly know what to do. On one hand, you think you love him or her, but when you think about your future together, a lump rises in your throat and a subtle fear meanders in the inner crevices of your mind.
Even married couples are not spared sometimes. You are already married, and really everything was okay until you had this huge financial storm that refuses to abate. Then you begin to entertain the question that you thought was never there or has long been settled; are we really meant for each other? Are we financially incapacitated because I am involved with the wrong person?
What do you do at such times? This is what we want to look at this morning.
First of all, at what points do doubts occur? Here are some:
In Love, But In Doubt!
1. A relationship is outside of God’s will and God needed to get your attention.
2. A relationship is actually God’s will, but the devil wants to confuse you so that you can step out of that will.
3. You have huge and sometimes unrealistic expectations and unfortunately, the expectations are far from being realized.
4. You are in a relationship and it is God’s plan for you, but somewhere along the line, you are caught in sex. The devil would usually bring guilt trips and if you stay habitually in the compromise, confusion will enter the soul and you won’t know your left from right.
5. You are not informed and you are ignorant of your basic spiritual rights, you will easily get confused and yield to doubt.
6. You start a relationship or courtship without seeking God’s will. That conviction would not be there and doubts would have an upper hand.
7. You sought direction about your marriage from some prophet without a personal adventure in seeking God’s face.
8. You go into a relationship or marriage in order to escape from something. After your escape, then you start asking whether you really love the person.
9. All your mentors, pastor, and even parents are against the wedding except you. Doubt will surely come eventually.
10. Marriage is not all about roses and flowers, when the thorns show up, they usually come in the basket of doubt.
The next thing is “will one ever get to a place in life where doubt is completely extricated and will never occur again?” Like take a gun and shoot doubt forever and ever?
Well, the answer is a big NO. Doubt will still come, whether you like it or not. But it is now your choice to discard it or embrace it.
How do we deal with doubt and how can it be prevented?
I will continue from here tomorrow. In Love, But In Doubt!
What You Shouldn’t Do To Your Lover. The Johnsons couldn’t forget ahead. Things had fallen apart and the center could no longer hold. The butterflies have all lost their wings and died and the goose pimples deactivated. Love had moved fast from a haven into hatred zone! They had broken all the laws and the consequences are rushing at them like an angry wind. What were their mistakes?
Today, we continue from where we left off.
What You Shouldn’t Do To Your Lover
3. Don’t allow anybody to live with you without the agreement of your spouse
If your spouse is not in support, your merciful acts can quickly turn into regrets. Many marriages are under tremendous pressure because the wife is not only taking care of her husband but several siblings at a time. Issues will necessarily come out of this. I usually tell couples, do not allow anybody to live with you in your first few years after the wedding! You need to focus on each other and you don’t need any distractions!
Amo 3:3 (KJV) Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Singles, never pack into your partner’s house when you are not yet married. You will lose your respect and things might not turn out well because you are walking in disobedience to God. You will become a small Mummy, cooking, washing, and offering sex while you are not yet married. Nothing is more debilitating than that!
4. Don’t oppose your spouse openly Don’t build walls against yourself.
Eph 4:15 (KJV) But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
If you must correct your spouse, don’t do it in the presence of his friends and colleagues, you might end up adding more to the issue. However, you can always have a confidant with whom both of you agree you should discuss because there are times you really need to pour your heart out.
Singles, it is a dangerous signal if you are accountable to no one in courtship and nobody can speak into your life. It is a very risky game!
The moment your lover is unacceptable and can’t be reported to anybody, there is a red flag, so red you shouldn’t miss it.
What You Shouldn’t Do To Your Lover
5. Don’t get close to others other than your spouse Be your spouse’s friend and never allow anybody to come in between you. There are Delialahs, Jezebels, Amnons, Jonadabs and so on. The moment you know, and you always know that you are getting up close and emotional to someone apart from your spouse, cut it off, or else you will soon be in serious problems.
The moment you can hide things from your spouse, it is the beginning of problems. The moment you can discuss your spouse with colleagues and they discuss theirs with you, you are going too far. The devil will set a trap. Avoid distractions. Double dating is not scriptural for singles.
As singles, never attempt to make your fiancee happy by compromising your virtues. You will never be able to secure a relationship by offering sex, you will actually jeopardize the relationship because you are violating God’s principles. Sex does not prove your love, it shows your ignorance because every time you offer your body to secure a relationship, you always lose the man or the relationship! These are What You Shouldn’t Do To Your Lover
Single Or Married, Avoid These! One man was looking intently at his wedding certificate for hours. After he was asked why did that, he said he was searching for the expiry date! Well, marriage will not expire, there is no reverse gear.
Another man was watching his wedding video, but this time in rewind! He saw himself remove the ring, majestically walked out of the church, entered his car, and drove off. He wanted to do that in real life, but no way!
Marriage is a haven, not an oven. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. The devil knows the power at your disposal as a married couple. That is why his intention is to throw a monkey wrench at your stuff. There are some precautions you can take in order to ensure that you are one with your spouse and that the power of agreement is not broken.
Singles must learn these principles as well so that their relationships and courtship can work out well. The Christian life is not hard to live, in fact, it is when you don’t follow God that things get messy. That is why Jesus Christ said his yoke is easy, learn about it, it is easier that way.
Mat 11:30 (KJV) For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Single Or Married, Avoid These! 1. Don’t insult or abuse yourselves on account of someone else. Preserve your marriage by respecting your spouse. Words are so powerful that your life gravitates in the direction of your utterances.
Don’t use negative words on each other! Don’t keep saying and repeating the things you don’t want to see, rather keep saying what you want to see in your spouse and family and you will have what you say!
Mar 11:23 (AMPC) Truly I tell you, whoever says to this mountain, Be lifted up and thrown into the sea! and does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done for him.
In one of the open visions that Papa Kenneth Hagin had, Jesus told him, “my people are saying what they have rather than say what they want to have!” (Para-phrase)
Keep saying your exceptions, not your experiences. It is a powerful principle of life.
Most singles in courtship also break up because of this exact reason. This is because, for men, respect is a major issue. Every man is egocentric, and you shouldn’t try to bruise that ego, single or married. Speak into your wedding day, and your marriage, and say the right words.
This doesn’t mean you should ignore obvious issues, for example, character issues. This should be confronted and counsel sought!
Single Or Married, Avoid These! 2. Don’t equip others against yourselves. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg. You are one in marriage, and that is how God sees it. Support your spouse always. Don’t keep weakening each other!
In the same way, in courtship, once you see your partner is always against you in and out, it is a sign that there is a deeper problem to confront. How can you be in courtship and all you do is fight day in, and day out? That is not good material for the foundation of your marriage. What exactly is causing the issues? They should be addressed and confronted and not used to glide or surf into marriage!
Single Or Married, Avoid These!
I will stop here today and conclude tomorrow! Have you registered for Singles Camp Meeting yet? Remember we have limited space and we will stop registration once we have space filled up. Find info below on how to register!
More Ways To Recognize Emotional Affairs is a continuation of yesterday’s topic. Sally was in love with George who is not in love with her. That can be debilitating. The Johnsons are dealing with an adulterous issue, made worse by the neglect of Mr. Johnson.
What are the More Ways To Recognize Emotional Affairs
3. When you start discussing your marital problems with somebody else.
As single ladies or guys, when a married person of the opposite sex starts discussing his marital issues or starts reporting his spouse, the conversation is probably going too far. You might be feeling cool that the person trusts you to divulge such prized information, but if you are not careful, emotions would soon be involved.
You might even have the righteousness complex where you become a counsellor, trying to encourage him or her. The problem is that compassion can turn into confusion very quickly. It is all a ploy when a married person stands before you like or she needs help from you. What wisdom does a thirty-five-year-old married man need from a single beautiful twenty-three-year-old girl? Where are the pastors and counsellors? It is a trap. At what point did you become a counsellor? Did you read Guidance and counselling in school? Many people have attempted to counsel others like that and ended up canceling their destinies.
4. When you are convinced that your supposed friend understands you better than your spouse.
You have crossed the line and you are about to desecrate your marital covenant if you do so. As singles, if any married person ever verbalize such lies to you, that he wished he had married you before meeting his wife, it is time to use your legs and run away, otherwise, you might be cooking the kind of food you don’t want to eat! Or he tells you that you are so caring and understanding unlike his spouse, don’t believe such lies. It is usually an attempt to have an inroad into your emotions and eventually get in between your legs!
Don’t sit down there sheepishly listening to such gibberish, stand up and take charge of your life and destiny by running away. You see when the Bible says “Flee,” it is not the time to say, “Let’s reason together.”
There are situations where you don’t need to speak in tongues, you just need to run, because even the angels have escaped because they don’t want to behold evil!
How To Recognize Emotional Affairs. Sally was long gone in falling in love and emotionally entangled with George, and yet George kept claiming they are just friends. Sally was like ice cubes exposed to the sun each time she is around George. She would simply melt and become fidgety at the sight of George.
George could see this and continued to exploit her emotionally by even becoming more nice and available for her, without making any commitments. Sally couldn’t help herself, her love canvas is shattered, and splattered with images of George!
In the same vein, the Johnsons were not having a great time as Mrs. Johnson found herself in a contradictory love triangle, emotionally intertwined with her boss at work. How did she get to that point without knowing as a child of God? To make it worse, her husband is constantly fighting her and being insensitive. It is as though hell scripted the plot, as she found herself sliding down the adulterous abyss, her husband in no sight to pull her out. The time she needed him so much was the time he neglected her too much!
Her voice, calling out to George from the abyss, “I need help dear!” Help me! But George was too preoccupied with his work and too insensitive to hear her drowning voice. His silent treatment is further silently increasing her vulnerability!
There is no child of God that outrightly proceeds into an adulterous relationship. It is usually a subtle happenstance, an innocent friendship, albeit, subtlety and innocence would never be an excuse for compromise.
There is a difference between a platonic friendship and a romantic relationship. When you have a platonic relationship with another married person, there would be no qualms. But the moment the relationship crosses the line from platonic to romantic, there would be issues and one can be easily trapped. An emotional affair is just a step before a full-blown affair.
The question then is at what point does a friendship cross from platonic to romantic?
How To Recognize Emotional Affairs
1. When that which ought to be kept secret between you and your spouse is divulged to the other person.
This is the first sign that you are playing with fire. When a married person begins to share with you what ought to be secrets between him and his spouse, it is a good place to run away. Or when as a married person, you begin to share with that young single lady what ought to be the exclusive reserve for you and your spouse, you are crossing the line and trying to hug some fire.
At what point did that single sister become your counselor? It’s the pathway to adultery!
For singles, you are always talking deeply, sharing secrets, and advising each other and you say you are just friends? Face it, it’s already emotional! When troubled, you are the first person to be called, and you seem to always bring peace to the troubled soul…Hmmm… you are both in love joor!
2. When you catch yourself fantasizing or daydreaming about somebody else apart from your spouse, you are traveling beyond the platonic into the romantic, and definitely something will soon happen that might culminate into regrets later. That close friend has found his way into your thoughts right in the bedroom and you are just friends? You are beginning to conjure her image so you can enjoy intimacy with your spouse and you are just friends? Nay, thou are not just friends!
As singles, you say there is nothing between you and yet he is the last person you think about, and the first person that slides into your thought’s DM? Even God no dey get space like that again! Una don dey in love, biko!
I will stop here this morning!
Tomorrow, I will conclude on How To Recognize Emotional Affairs
