Busting Myths in Marriage: Truths You Need to Know. A lair is only capable of lying. The devil is the originator of all lies. He had been lying all along till now. He gently plants these lies in our minds in an effort to get us to accept and trust them. When we do, we open a door for him and give him permission to enter and wreak havoc. You must firmly deny all of his fabrications and mischief! You must be aware of his tactics. Through your prayers and meditations, you must be vigilant at all times!
…When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. ” (Joh 8:44b KJV)
Amplified Version says:
“When he speaks a falsehood, he speaks what is natural to him, for he is a liar [ himself ] and the father of lies and of all that is false.” (Joh 8:44, AMP)
Here’ s one of devil’s falsehoods that you must disregard! Don’t accept them. Don’t make room for them in your mind. Get rid of them. Discard them. Delete them entirely rather than merely placing them in the recycle bin!
Busting Myths in Marriage: Truths You Need to Know
That You were made for nothing!
We’ll look at this particular falsehood first this morning. Does it ring a bell? You are a biological mistake, your parents and friends don’t like you, and you are just there are some of the thoughts that occasionally cross your mind. You are simply floating there. You have nothing to contribute. You are not useful. You lack any talents.
Well, you must vehemently reject that voice because it is the voice of the evil one. Why? Because lying is the only thing the devil is capable of doing. He lacks the ability to tell the truth!
What do we see in the scripture?
“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations— that’s what I had in mind for you.” (Jer 1:5, MSG)
Here, the scripture helps us comprehend that there was a reason for creation. God previously fashioned into you everything you would need to accomplish your purpose before you were even conceived. To put it another way, you are a task. There is a fantastic goal you are packaged to achieve. To find it, you simply need to get closer to God. The world is waiting for a gift you possess.
Busting Myths in Marriage: Truths You Need to Know
Whose report are you going to trust? Make up your mind to trust the Lord’s report!
Tell the devil to leave your life the next time he rants that untruth! Do not believe his falsehoods! You must not let your bad emotions suffocate God’s purpose for you. Abandon those emotions!
As singles and married, the realization of this truth is needed for you to be secure in yourself in that relationship or marriage! This realization becomes an anchor in your soul and helps you to love and be loved in the right ways!
What To Do If Your Romantic Partner Turns Cold. One of the most frequent questions expressed by a number of folks I counsel is the one mentioned above. It’s possible to avoid having a spouse who is hot right now but frigid afterward.
He has changed, pastor.
“Pastor, I had no idea he was this way.”
“Pastor, he was a leader in the fellowship before we were married, but he no longer attends church anymore.”
“Pastor, he was so lovely when we were courting, but now he beats me up!
“Pastor, I never met him; our courtship was far away.”
And so it goes on and on.
What went wrong along the road, though?
2Pe 2:20-22 (MSG) If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left. [21] Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”
There is nothing as frustrating as starting out on a romantic lane and winding up on a lifeless unromantic corner! Here are a few things to keep in mind.
What To Do If Your Romantic Partner Turns Cold
1. Meeting someone at church does not guarantee that he or she is a sincere child of God or that you will escape all problems in your marriage. On the other end, a person may be very spiritual and yet very unromantic! That a person has finished the Book of Romans does not mean they understand what romance is! Always seek advice before getting entangled with somebody. If you are married already, ensure you have your marriage under mentorship and accountability! This is important!
2. Learn everything you possibly can. Get marriage assistance and free Christian guidance online to avoid marital disaster. On Kisses & Huggs Club, for example, we give free Christian counsel for singles and married couples, and you may get marriage advice through our daily REVIVE Devotionals, Daily REVIVE Conversations, Daily REVIVE Prayers, and a variety of other online resources. Don’t go into a marriage clueless and believing anything!
The reason your spouse is not romantic is not that they are wicked. They simply just do not know how to! They never saw it growing up. Whatever was not modeled to them had to be learned deliberately! And that requires some effort in admittance and willingness to change!
3. As a marriage counselor for many years, I can confidently state that some people truly love the Lord, yet there is a reversal along the path. This could be due to a negative influence, a change in surroundings, or the pressure that comes with it. Many people want to be committed to their marriage and really be romantic, but wrong influences show up along the way! You want to choose your friends carefully and make sure they are on the same page as you because they will eventually influence you!
Can I Find Fulfillment In My Lover or Spouse? A lot of singles and married put pressure on their loved ones more than necessary. Sometimes, we even “blame” our spouses for what they are not responsible for when we become frustrated. The reality is that your spouse won’t be able to give you everything, chiefly, fulfillment in life. The emptiness and loneliness in the soul you often feel are “attention getters” for you to get back into God like the prodigal son. The rolling with pigs that we often find ourselves in like the prodigal son cannot be sorted by a lover or spouse but only by you with your God when “you come to yourself!”
Luk 15:17 (KJV) AND WHEN HE CAME TO HIMSELF, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
Can I Find Fulfillment In My Lover or Spouse?
What exactly is fulfillment? Fulfillment is a unique and personal experience that represents one’s sense of purpose, satisfaction, and happiness. It is a feeling of contentment that comes from aligning one’s values, goals, and aspirations with the choices and actions one takes in their daily life.
The reality is that fulfillment can only come ultimately from God! Your spouse can provide support, love, companionship, and friendship and will always be there, but ultimately you must have a personal relationship with God.
This is central and pivotal. Other mini areas of getting fulfillment like career pursuits, sports, games, and so on will only find meaning after God has been found!
Decide today to go for fulfillment in God, and you will have all other areas sorted.
As singles, you have to understand this, or else, you might find yourself going from one relationship to another and yet not finding what you want! Get into God first, then all others areas will align! Do that and thank me later!
Can I Find Fulfillment In My Lover or Spouse?
Let me attempt to give three simple steps to take in finding fulfillment.
PRAY – Connect with God. He is the one that “manufactured” you and He has the manual for your life, relationship, and marriage!
Jer 33:3 (MSG) ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’
PURSUIT – Go after your dream! Without apologies! Fulfillment lies in the pursuit of that which God has asked you to do!
3. PLAY – Find areas of hobbies, and relaxation and incorporate that into your busy life
Are you aware of what is going on in REVIVE Conversations?
Basically, Kisses and Huggs Club is bringing you a three-pronged panacea for your relationship and marriage which include:
1. REVIVE Devotionals (which is what you are reading now) 2. REVIVE Prayers (On Mixlr daily by 6.00am GMT +1, available on YouTube afterward) 3. REVIVE Conversations (On Mixlr daily by 9.00pm GMT +1, available on YouTube afterward)
Are you also aware we have responded and treated the following on REVIVE Conversations?
My Husband Doesn’t Appreciate Me
Tired Of Being Single
My Husband Does Not Give Me Money
Venting, Question, and Answers: I Saw My Husband With A Strange Woman
I Love Him But He Is Not Committed In His Church As A Worker
I Find It Hard To Ask For Money From My Husband
My Husband Is Gaslighting Me, And Yet Everybody Thinks He Is Sweet
My Friend Doesn’t Want Us Together Anymore
I Aborted Eleven Times Before Wedding
Scared of my feelings
He’s quiet and doesn’t talk
I feel hurt and betrayed: What should I do?
He Doesn’t Have Money: Is This Waiting Or Time Wasting?
Emotional Involvement: Can I Marry A Muslim?
I Suspect She Is Cheating; I Want To End It
Genotype Issues
I Caught My Husband Cheating
Question: Should I Marry?
Proper Or Improper – My Husband Betrayed My Trust
My Minister Friend Got Involved With A Female Member
I fell a victim of what I feared most
Single Mum: I Fight A Lot With My Baby’s Father
I Got Pregnant Outside Of Wedlock, He Doesn’t Want Me
Betrayed By My Husband, I Want To Retaliate With My Ex
How Side-Chicks Are Smarter Than Wives. A “side chick” is used to describe a person who is in a romantic or sexual relationship with someone who is already married to someone else. This type of relationship is often kept secret and outside of the main relationship, and is considered harmful, unethical, or disrespectful to all parties involved.
The side chicks seem smarter because their goal is different from that of wives.
The side chicks want money and attention. The wife wants love and progress.
In the bid, of the wife to get better and “make” her husband better, she often loses him, almost unconsciously, but it happens all the time.
The side chick only tells her victim what he wants to hear in other to get what she wants.
The wife at home is busy using sex to punish her husband by withholding it.
The side chick is busy investing in sex and using it as a reward by initiating it.
Some wives are still tying towels up and down and hiding their nakedness from their husbands.
The side chick knows how to use her nakedness to seduce the man and “collect” his brain.
The wife at home is busy comparing; that “Daddy” is now going bald and she didn’t bargain for that.
Before I go on, did you miss out on REVIVE Conversations yesterday? We treated the following: Single Mum: I Fight A Lot With My Baby’s Father I Love Him But He Is Not Committed In His Church As A Worker Emotional Involvement: Can I Marry A Muslim? Check the responses HERE or below the devotional.
How Side-Chicks Are Smarter Than Wives
The side chick is busy lying to the man that his shiny head makes him look younger and even rubs it for him all the time.
The wife is busy cutting down on food so that her husband’s big belly can go down. She is suggesting nodules because she doesn’t want to cook.
The side chick will serve pepper soup as an appetizer, then make “swallow” and native soup, and use the food to hold the man by the jugular.
The wife is fasting all the time to win the battle for life and would not allow her husband to spoil the fast with sex.
The side chick is available anytime, even before the man asks, fast or no fast.
The wife is busy at home fighting and quarreling all the time. Contentious over unnecessary things.
The side chick doesn’t get angry. She apologizes quickly and pretends she is submissive!
Since a man is logical, he begins to think he made mistake marrying his wife.
Of course, adultery will end up in the wrong place. This post is not to validate the “side-chickens” but to wake up the wives lest you leave your husband on the table for daughters of Eve to feast on!
Jesus Christ said it aptly!
Luk 16:8b (KJV) …for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light.
How Side-Chicks Are Smarter Than Wives
Dear wives, be smart! End quarrel quickly. Don’t leave your man vulnerable. Stop fighting over everything! Take charge of your man and home!
May God grant you strength!
For all side chicks, men, women, and single ladies involved in adultery know that you are sowing a wrong seed whose harvest you don’t want to imagine! Get back to God and decide to live right with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Why Men Cheat and What You Can Do. God frowns and warns against infidelity! The scripture is clear on that. It really doesn’t matter what number of men are doing “side-chicks” It really doesn’t matter how many married women are yet opening their laps for men in other get some favour or whatever reason!
The reality remains that this sore area has to be confronted and treated and God disapproves of it entirely!
Before I go on, a quick one! On REVIVE Conversations yesterday, we treated and responded to the following:
I fell victim of what I feared most
Venting: I Saw My Husband With A Strange Woman
He Doesn’t Have Money: Is This Waiting Or Time Wasting?
REVIVE Conversation holds 9.00pm daily via Mixlr. If you missed out yesterday, do not worry! We have painstakingly uploaded it to YouTube for you HERE – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej5I465d0OY
Don’t carry the burden around. Consider your mental health. Drop all questions and issues, or if you just want to vent and pour out your heart here – https://khcng.com/vent
The scripture warns clearly of the consequence! Take a look at one of them.
Pro 6:32 (KJV) But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
So we see the very first reason why men cheat right there!
Why Men Cheat and What You Can Do
1. Lack of Understanding
The amplified Bible explains what lack of understanding means.
Pro 6:32 (AMPC) But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life.
Men cheat because they just don’t have that good heart, that moral principle, and prudence that keeps a man zipped up!
This is one of the qualities you look out for as singles. And this is something you continually pray into your spouse as married.
Attending a relevant meeting, reading books, and studying the Bible, can go a long way in showing man areas where he is lacking!
One of the most difficult things to do is to confront an ignorant man who is also arrogant.
It takes a lot of humility for a man to admit he has been stupid. Some actually admit when they get into trouble only to dabble back into another adulterous terrain. Another translation actually calls it stupidity!
Pro 6:32 (CEV) But if you go to bed with another man’s wife, you will destroy yourself by your own stupidity.
Now, as a single, the man that will cheat on you has probably started doing so even while he is courting you. Watch out for the telltale signs and don’t think the wedding will correct that habit! Be sure you know what you are going into!
Why Men Cheat and What You Can Do
If you are married, fighting your husband, or going into some retaliatory adultery would not always work.
Seek help. One of the ways you can seek help is to go and anonymously pour out your heart at https://khcng.com/vent and we will surely respond!
Don’t keep quiet! Aside from the fact that it is not healthy for you, people will blame you in the end why you kept quiet and did not seek help until things become very messy!
I pray God will intervene in that situation in Jesus’ name!
How To Avoid Or Deal With Gaslighting . We started looking at Gaslighting in relationships and marriage yesterday! Certainly, it is not a good habit to live with as it will eventually ruin any relationship or marriage. It is a defective situation and it will certainly produce undesirable effects.
Singles can avoid gaslighting by simply walking away from a persistent situation. Married couples are to deal with it. How will this be done?
Before I go on, REVIVE Conversation was awesome yesterday! If you missed it, you can check the recap on YouTube using this link – Yesterday we looked at and treated the following:
Proper Or Improper – My Husband Betrayed My Trust
Tired Of Being Single
He’s quiet and doesn’t talk
My Minister Friend Got Involved With A Female Member
My Husband Does Not Give Me Money
Check the responses HERE Tonight we continue on Episode 3 by 9.00pm GMT + 1.
You can ask your questions, pout your heart out, vent, or seek advice HERE and we will respond accordingly!
How To Avoid Or Deal With Gaslighting
Back to our topic of the day, Gaslighting can be a destructive and deceitful form of manipulation, but it is possible to protect yourself from its harmful effects.
As singles, Listen to the Holy Spirit to guide you!
Your inner witness will be a warning sign in the relationship! The moment you have that unsettling feeling about going on with the wedding, do not ignore it. Find out why! Ask questions. Communicate with your intended spouse and don’t just fill every moment with sex. Aside from the fact that it is sinful, it actually destroys meaningful conversations! When you see yourselves, all you do is pounce on yourselves, things move quickly from verbal to sexual.
As couples, you will certainly need to seek counseling or therapy! The situation will need more than some one-hour counseling, because gaslighting is rooted in some mindset that began usually in the distant past and usually the person may not even know that they are abusive or manipulative! Reach out to me via Whatsapp for intensive therapy once your spouse cooperates to deal with it. A lot of digging into the past has to be done to find out where it emanated from! h It will take a lot of humility! That is why accusing your spouse will not work. It is also mostly not planned, it just happens because the person does not know better or it has simply become a habit!
But you see, the other person on the receiving end would not be enjoying it at all.
How To Avoid Or Deal With Gaslighting
It can even get more dramatic and unfortunate when the other partner decides to gaslight as well in a retaliatory effort to preserve their sanity! The kids will pick up the habit and their own marital life becomes defective even before it starts. That will not be your portion in Jesus’ name! So you see, this is not something to accommodate! The consequences can be generational!
Gaslighting in Relationships and Marriages. Gaslighting is a deceptive form of psychological abuse that often goes unnoticed. It is a manipulative tactic used by someone you trust, such as a partner, friend, or family member, to question your memory, perception, and sanity.
As singles, it is better to open your eyes and see any such tendencies and run for your life. Don’t even think you want to change anybody. You are not the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the one that convicts. God has helped you by showing you tendencies you will romance with after the wedding, why are you still holding on blindly?
For those who are married, you are in already! Is gaslighting possible in marriage? The answer is Yes.
Now it is possible for a partner to be doing without even realizing the damage they are doing. It can often come from a defective or abusive background. The hurt always ends up hurting others. In the event of this, it is strongly recommended that both of you seek counsel or therapy, so that this dangerous habit can stop!
The manipulator may deny things you know to be true, make false claims, and twist facts in their favor, leading you to doubt your own reality. Mental issues can arise from persistent gaslighting.
Gaslighting in Relationships and Marriages
To recognize gaslighting, watch out for these red flags:
1. Denial of events Your partner denies things that you recall happening, leaving you feeling confused and uncertain.
2. False claims They may try to convince you that your memory is flawed or that things are not as they seem.
3. Fact-twisting They may present facts in a way that supports their position and leaves you doubting yourself.
4. Isolation They may try to limit your interactions with friends and family, in an effort to control and manipulate you.
5. Reality-doubt The constant barrage of false claims and twisted facts can leave you feeling like you’re losing your mind.
The idea here is not to cause a fight or go ahead and accuse your spouse. That will even cause more problems and bring a wedge between you. It is to lovingly approach this and seek counsel on how to move forward.
For singles, if you can run, you need to, especially if it is persistent and the person is unwilling to admin and seek help.
Gaslighting in Relationships and Marriages. What do you do when you are intertwined with gaslighting?
To be Continued Tomorrow.
Are you aware we started to REVIVE Conversations yesterday? You will see Video soon below the devotional. We continue today by 9.pm GMT +1
Breaking Free from Emotional Suppression. Emotional suppression and the accompanying tension can be very dangerous on all fronts! Most relationships and marriages have been ruptured because there is oftentimes nobody to talk to! The inability to ventilate regularly can become a marital clog in the wheel and yet one must be cautious where you divulge, or else your issue will be on billboards!
Emotions play a crucial role in our lives. They shape our relationships, influence our decision-making, and impact our overall well-being. However, in some situations, we may feel the need to suppress our emotions, push them aside, and ignore them. This is known as emotional suppression
The inability to express one’s feelings and “pour out” is often referred to as emotional suppression or suppression of emotions. Emotional suppression refers to the act of intentionally pushing emotions, thoughts, and feelings out of one’s conscious awareness in order to manage them in a more functional way.
While emotional suppression can be a coping mechanism for individuals in some short-term situations, it can become problematic when it is used consistently over time.
Breaking Free from Emotional Suppression
This is because it can lead to a build-up of negative emotions and a decreased ability to process and regulate emotions in a healthy manner.
There are many singles and married couples who don’t talk and keep on suppressing emotions. There’s often nobody to talk to because you have been warned by your spouse. This is unhealthy!
Sometimes, it is the guilt of something really unwise that we have done. Despite asking for God’s forgiveness, the guilt reaches its hands like a monster from our past and impedes us on a daily basis.
A guilt-ridden mind can have significant consequences on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. When a person is unable to express their guilt and cannot “pour out” their feelings, it can lead to the following consequences:
Breaking Free from Emotional Suppression. Consequences of emotional suppression may include:
1. Stress and anxiety Holding onto feelings of guilt without expressing them can increase stress and anxiety levels, as the individual feels overwhelmed and burdened by their feelings.
2. Depression and Despondency The feelings of guilt can lead to feelings of hopelessness and sadness, which can contribute to depression.
3. Health problems Chronic stress and anxiety can lead to physical health problems, such as headaches, stomach problems, and sleep disorders.
4. Isolation that leads to desolation The individual may feel embarrassed or ashamed of their feelings of guilt, leading them to withdraw from others and become isolated.
4. Damaged relationships Holding onto feelings of guilt can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust in relationships, as the individual becomes distant and unwilling to share their feelings with others.
5. Low self-esteem The individual may feel a sense of self-blame and worthlessness due to their feelings of guilt, leading to decreased self-esteem and a negative self-image.
6. Difficulty in problem-solving The individual may have difficulty processing their feelings of guilt and finding ways to resolve the underlying problems, leading to further feelings of frustration and helplessness.
What is the way out?
You just must pour out! Kisses and Huggs Club is coming to the rescue through REVIVE Conversations!
Every day, there will be REVIVE Prayers by 6.00 am and REVIVE Conversations by 9.00 pm. Follow on Mixlr to participate! – https://khcglobal.mixlr.com
It is a daily online programme between 9.00 pm and 10.00 pm GMT +1
Here, you will have the opportunity to vent your feelings, and secrets, ask questions, and many more while Pastor Sophia and I attend to you!
The daily programme holds on Mixlr and will be available on YouTube an hour after!
You will be able to drop questions or “vent” anonymously on a platform we have created especially for this!
We will treat all these issues daily on REVIVE Conversations! Go ahead, use the link, and vent all you need to. You will discover that as you release that long age issue anonymously, that infidelity issue, that secret, you will be so light!
Jas 5:16 (KJV) Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.
See you tonight by 9.00pm!
To be notified, simply JOIN SINGLES’ Hub OR COUPLES Only Hub on Whatsapp. You may also give the link to friends and family as applicable!
How To Take Your Marriage To Next Level. In marriage, you have to be deliberate! One such area is in the area of touching one another! Now let me make this clear to singles, leave all the touching till after the wedding! Just follow my advice! Once you start touching, you will arouse sleeping hormones, you will wake up hibernated desires, and you will find yourself doing some incredible things. Then you will repent if you still have a conscience and there you go and do it again! From touching, the graduation ceremony will be held into the next classes including kissing, necking, fondling, oral sex and so many unprintable things! By this time, I humorously say that all angels have flown away so that their eyes will not behold evil!
So all singles, just follow what the Bible is saying here:
Son 2:7 (KJV) I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.
Take a look ay the Message Translation:
Son 2:7 (MSG) Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
How To Take Your Marriage To Next Level
For the married on the other, hand, we are begging you, don’t leave “touching till only when you want to make love, rather let the touching be applied all day long, at every opportunity.
And dear wives, stop “fencing off your husband’s hands…especially when he wants to hold those things! Dear husbands, don’t grab or pinch… so you can have unhindered access!
Physical touch is important for overall well-being, as it can release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of happiness and relaxation.
In general, it is important for couples and partners to engage in physical touch that is consensual, respectful, and feels good to both partners. The reality is that regular hugs, hand-holding, or cuddling helps them feel more connected and emotionally secure, while others may prefer less physical contact.
I love it when my wife rubs my head while driving! What about you what do you love?
Singles, don’t even love anything for now… just love your Bible!
It is interesting how we are asking singles not to touch yet and begging couples to keep touching!
A lot of good news coming to Kisses and Huggs Club! God has been speaking to me since last year about what He wants us to do to be a blessing to your relationship and marriage!
Here are a few things you will love to know!
1. KHC Devotionals will now be referred to as “REVIVE Devotionals for Singles and Married.”
2. REVIVE Prayers will continue to hold in the mornings on Mixlr, from 6.00am – 6.30am
3. This is New! REVIVE Conversations (Which will include conversations, true life stories, Q and A, and more ) will hold daily by 9.00pm – 10.00pm. This begins on Sunday 5th Feb.
6. If you leave in the city of Ibadan, plan to attend a special Valentine Programme. Details later.
7. Finally, our Discussions hold tonight on Singles’ Hub and Couples’ Hub by 7pm and 9pm respectively! Last weeks meeting I did for Couples is available on Youtube! You will love it. https://youtu.be/5LyARv2Le4s
How To Breathe New Life Into A Struggling Love Life. It all begins with love but along the way, life happens and the twinkle in the eyes disappears, the racing heartbeats at the sight of the one you love slow down and take their time, and the butterflies lose colour and no longer flap their wings. The love is dying!
All they professed seemed far away! What are the signs that love is struggling?
How To Breathe New Life Into A Struggling Love Life
Communication goes on strike
This is one sure way to know love is dying! The mute button is applied in the relationship or marriage and you are just going through the motions. As singles, you don’t know whether the path being trudged is the aisle. As married, the once exuberance and ecstasy that enraptures you at the sight of your lover seemed to have vaporized.
You must fight to keep the communication going in that relationship or marriage! When communication becomes strained and conversations become more argumentative than supportive, this could be a sign that love is fading. One thing you can do to breathe new life into communication is the use of gentle soft words!
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger
What are other signs?
How To Breathe New Life Into A Struggling Love Life
Sad Memories Erupt
If your memories of the relationship become filled with negativity and unhappy experiences, this could indicate that love is fading. If depression and despondency take over, if sadness and forlornness abide in the home, it’s a sure sign love is waning!
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
You have to deliberately focus on positive areas and move away from all negative vibes!
The reality is that the eruptions of those sad memories flooding your heart are engineered from hell, to keep you down, wearied, and to give up on that relationship our marriage!
You must learn the art of forgiveness or else, you will allow the root of bitterness to take hold. Sure you don’t want this!
I pray that God will heal your relationship or marriage in Jesus’ name!
Something beautiful is starting from 5th February! Watch out! Details later!
Dear Lady, What Is Your Price? We live in a world today where human dignity has been eroded to the point where perversion and things unheard of have become the order of the day!
I am writing to both singles and married this morning!
Let’s go with the singles first. What is your price? As in, how much are you? Interesting question, right?
Well, the reality is that men are constantly pricing you, and you know what, men know how to price you so low, sometimes even take you without a dime!
Maybe the first question is should you even ever be for sale?
In the days gone yonder, they would parade girls naked and prize them as slaves, to be used as sex slaves or some more demeaning use. The buyers would literally move around to check the body and choose a fellow human being like they are buying a goat!
This still happens today, in the world of prostitution!
What is your price?
In the scriptures, Jacob worked for fourteen years to win his true love, Rachael!
Today, some guys are willing to work for less than two minutes before taking ladies to bed, and the crazy part, there are ladies who are ready for such as a result of battered self-esteem, ignorance, and sometimes sex addiction.
Dear Lady, What Is Your Price? What should your price be?
Pro 31:10 (KJV) Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Your price is far above Naira and Dollar! If you can know the worth of the blood of Jesus, then you can know the price of God’s daughters!
1Pe 1:18-19 (MSG) It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. [19] He paid with Christ’s sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb.
That was how you got out of the dead end! By His precious blood! It was costly!
Dear Lady, What Is Your Price?
How dare you open your laps for some sweet-tongued fellow in less than an hour? No, he should come and request the “flower” from your parents! He shouldn’t site your cleavage not to talk of rummaging through the inner crevices of your pleasure zones! Sounds archaic? Well, it is the way to life and peace with God!
No level of perversion will make God review His word! Do you find yourself too far gone? Sex? Oral Sex? Masturbation? and many more? God’s everlasting arm of love is opened to accept you back and give your life meaning and purpose when you return to Him! He would clean you up, wipe your slate clean and give you a new beginning!
My point is made with the singles! Now to married couples, after the wedding, your body is no longer yours, it belongs first to God as the temple of the Holy Spirit, and then to your spouse for consistent and unhindered sexual gratification!
Sex in marriage is not a reward nor is it a punishment tool! It’s a duty!
1Co 7:4 (AMPC) For the wife does not have [exclusive] authority and control over her own body, but the husband [has his rights]; likewise also the husband does not have [exclusive] authority and control over his body, but the wife [has her rights].
The Lady, Her Lover, And Her Lord. Sally is a child of God, but she has also recently fallen in love with George. George’s starry eyes were always probing into forbidden regions. Sally truly loved him but she knew she would not be able to give him what he really wanted. She hates to let him go, but she loves her God more than to offend Him!
Mrs. Johnson is caught between pleasing the Lord and pleasing her husband. She must submit to her husband while she must not violate God’s injunctions!
Life often pulls in different directions by the various relationships and responsibilities that we have. We have relationships with our family, our friends, our colleagues, and perhaps most importantly, with ourselves.
But one of the most complex and multifaceted relationships that we can have is the one between a lady, her lover, and her Lord.
The Lady, Her Lover, And Her Lord.
The lady here is the central figure, the one who must navigate the complex dynamics between her lover and her Lord.
Her lover represents the passion, excitement, and emotional fulfillment that she seeks in life. He is the one who brings joy to her heart and light to her eyes. He is the one that causes the butterflies to flap their wings within her crevices.
But while her lover is a critical part of her life, he is not the only one.
Her Lord, on the other hand, represents a different kind of love. It is a love that is rooted in spiritual and moral values, and that calls her to live a life of purpose and meaning. Her Lord provides her with guidance, wisdom, and comfort, and helps her to see beyond the immediate to the greater good.
Her Lord must not be violated in order to please her lover!
So what happens when these three entities intersect? When the lady, her lover, and her Lord come together, a delicate balance must be struck.
A tripartite role must be fulfilled. The lady must find a way to honor both her lover and her Lord, to find a way to satisfy the emotional needs of her heart while also fulfilling the spiritual and moral obligations of her soul.
One of the most important things that the lady can do is to be true to herself. She must be honest with herself about her needs and desires, and she must seek to understand the motivations of both her lover and her Lord. By doing so, she can begin to build a foundation of mutual respect and understanding, which will help her to navigate the complexities of her relationships.
Another important factor is communication. The lady must be open and honest with both her lover and her Lord, and she must strive to build a relationship of trust and understanding with each of them. This means being willing to listen, flexible, and to find common ground where she can, without offending God.
The Lady, Her Lover, And Her Lord.
Ultimately, the lady, her lover, and her Lord are all critical components of a fulfilled and meaningful life. As the lady seeks to understand and honor each of these relationships, she will find that they can complement and enrich each other, rather than competing or conflicting.
By striving to live a life that is true to herself, and that is guided by her Lord, she will find the peace, happiness, and fulfillment that she desires.
It is noteworthy that there is no wife who passionately seeks to submit and please her husband while also pleasing the Lord that will not in the process discover her purpose and fulfillment in life! It is a powerful system that God has put in place!
In conclusion, the relationship between the lady, her lover, and her Lord is a complex and multifaceted one. With the help of the Holy Spirit and by His grace, she can execute this relationship balance without neglecting any. May we all strive to live our lives in such a way that brings joy, peace, and fulfillment to ourselves and those around us in Jesus’ name!
How To Deal With One-Sided Love. When love is one-sided, it can be difficult and painful for the person who is not reciprocating the feelings. It’s important to remember that love is not something that can be forced or controlled. Here are a few things that can be done when love is one-sided:
1. Accept the situation As singles in a dating situation or courtship, It’s important to accept the reality of the situation, that the feelings are not mutual, and move on. There is no point beating a dead body, once the love is not mutual and you have to pursue, run after, give your eyeballs, and yet you won’t get love, just move on! Don’t even think if you give sex, anything will change. You simply end up giving your body for nothing while also getting into disfavour with God because we all know, right, that premarital sex is not what God advocates!
For those who are married, accepting the situation simply means you start digging in to know why it is so and what you can do to correct the marital anomaly! You want to be in a marriage with the one you love and who loves you!
How To Deal With One-Sided Love
2. Reflect on yourself Take the time to reflect on what you may have done differently and how you can improve yourself in future relationships. What caused it? What could be responsible? Why am I unlovable or why can’t I love properly?
3. Practice loving yourself first! Nobody will love you if you don’t love yourself! For singles, take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically in order to heal and move on if you need to. It is important you love yourself! Embrace your imperfections and learn to love yourself for who you are, rather than constantly striving for perfection in the flesh. Stay away from sin and trust the Holy Spirit to give you the grace to get better by the day in that relationship or marriage!
4. Talk to someone Talking to a trusted Pastor or a therapist can be helpful in processing your feelings and getting a different perspective.
Jas 5:16 (MSG) Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.
How To Deal With One-Sided Love
5. Be honest with the person If you are the one unable to love the other person, decide to tell the person how you feel, be honest but also be prepared for the possibility that they may not feel the same way. Rather than stay in the relationship and struggle through with the possibility of continued struggling even after the wedding, it is better to open up and move on!
If you are married, you are not opening so that you can leave, because you are already married. You are opening up so that you can both get help. If you think your partner will not be able to handle it, then seek help first all by yourself once you see the issue is from your end! It is important to confront the issue!
These five ways about How To Deal With One-Sided Love are by no means exhaustive, but will guide you in taking the right steps!
The Lonely Side Of Love: One-Sided Relationships. George is head over heels for Sally! However, Sally is indifferent to the whole romantic saga. George tried all the love gymnastics but Sally is unmoved.
On the other hand, it is Mrs. Johnson that really loves her husband. All her love expressions were never reciprocated.
One-sided love can be painful in any relationship or marriage!
Can Love Be One-Sided?
Yes, love can be one-sided. This means one person in a relationship can have stronger love for the other person than the other person feels for them. This can lead to imbalances and difficulties in the relationship, and may eventually cause the relationship to end if the imbalance is not addressed.
The Lonely Side Of Love: One-Sided Relationships
Let’s Rephrase. Should Love be one-sided?
No, love should not be one-sided!
Love should ideally be mutual, in which both persons in the relationship or marriage feel the same level of love and affection for each other.
Son 2:16 (KJV) My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies.
Son 7:10 (KJV) I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.
One-sided love can lead to feelings of rejection and hurt for the person who is not reciprocating the same level of love. It is essential for both parties to communicate their feelings and work towards creating a balance of love and affection in the relationship.
The Lonely Side Of Love: One-Sided Relationships
What are the causes of one-sided love?
1. Unrequited feelings One person has feelings for the other, but those feelings are not reciprocated.
2. Incompatible goals or values One person wants a deeper commitment than the other person is willing to provide.
3. Trauma or past experiences One person has unresolved emotional baggage from past relationships that affect their ability to fully open up to another person. Also, personality traits or past experiences may make someone more susceptible to being in a one-sided relationship
4. Lack of communication or effort One person puts in more effort or expresses their feelings more clearly than the other, leading to an imbalance in the relationship.
5. A lack of emotional reciprocation A person may lack the capacity to respond emotionally to love for various actors.
6. A lack of physical attraction Lack of physical attraction will certainly manifest itself in the inability to reciprocate love appropriately! Nobody has any business marrying someone he is not attracted to in the first place!
7. Low self-esteem Low self-esteem can make a person pursue a relationship where they are only giving and not receiving any love back.
8. Fear of being alone This can contribute to someone choosing to stay in a one-sided relationship.
What do you do if you find yourself in a one-sided relationship or marriage? Tomorrow, I will continue from here and let us in on what can be done to solve the issues of one-sided love.
Lover Boy of the Bible: Physical Attraction. This book is written by one of the greatest lover boys of the Bible! Here are ten lessons from the Song of Solomon on dating, marriage, and sex.
Lover Boy of the Bible: Physical Attraction
Son 1:5 (MSG) I am weathered but still elegant, oh, dear sisters in Jerusalem, Weather-darkened like Kedar desert tents, time-softened like Solomon’s Temple hangings.
Lover Boy of the Bible: Physical Attraction
I have told singles over and over again! Make sure you marry someone you are attracted to! After the wedding, you are not going to become blind, you will see other people you will still like, so it’s important that you really “like” and “love” the person you are going to live with for the rest of your life! That way, there will be fewer distractions!
You don’t want to see someone’s face early in the morning and scream “the blood of Jesus,” rather you want to look at that delectable face and “sing in tongues” and thank God for the day you met them!
Now, get this straight, nobody is ugly! Beauty is in the beholder’s eyes, and we all have “funny” things we are looking for in a man or woman!
There is that special someone somewhere who will love you passionately as you are! Don’t let the devil “body shame” you or “soul-shame” you!
You are handsome as you are and you are beautiful as you are!
Heb 10:5 (KJV) Wherefore when he cometh into the world, he saith, Sacrifice and offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me:
God gave you your body. Love yourself or else, nobody has any business loving you!
Lover Boy of the Bible: Physical Attraction
For married couples, you have to keep working at looking great for your spouse! Pay attention to what they want and don’t take them for granted!
Particularly, men are moved by sight, so you don’t want to dress carelessly all the time at home!
Dress deliberately to tantalize him when you are alone in the house! Get lingerie and bum shorts that will fire up his blood! Don’t be wearing Jeans and sweaters up and down the house! For what? Lol…
As a matter of fact, it’s okay to walk around with nothing on you when you are both alone. Discover yourselves and be intoxicated with each other! Ha Pastor, where are all these in the scriptures? I will show you and I will close there and continue tomorrow.
Pro 5:18-19 (GW) Let your own fountain be blessed, and enjoy the girl you married when you were young, [19] a loving doe and a graceful deer. Always let her breasts satisfy you. Always be intoxicated with her love.
Wow! Be intoxicated with the love of your spouse! Selah!
Baggage Claim: Unpacking Your Past Issues. Hey! Have you claimed your baggage yet? Hm, you can’t really disown it, you rather unpack it! Doesn’t matter what kind of embarrassing and funny items are in your bag! What matters is to unpack them so that you will not frustrate the one you profess to love!
A woman’s baggage is different from that of a man, however, both have their baggages!
It’s important for couples to be aware of these potential “baggages” and to be willing to address them in a constructive and healthy way. This may include seeking therapy or counseling, learning effective communication and problem-solving skills, and developing healthy coping mechanisms.
By working through these issues, couples can build a stronger foundation for their relationship, and create a deeper sense of trust, intimacy, and connection in their marriage.
Baggage Claim: Unpacking Your Past Issues
A few Types of “baggages” that couples can bring into their marriage include:
1. Past relationship baggage
If a partner has had a past relationship that ended badly, it can be difficult for them to fully open up and trust again. They may be unconsciously bringing in old hurt, anger, or resentment from their past relationship and then the present lover or spouse suffers unnecessarily.
Baggage Claim: Unpacking Your Past Issues
2. Family dynamics
The way a person was raised, their family background, and the dynamics within their family can all have an impact on how they relate to others, including their partner.
For example, someone who grew up in a home where there were a lot of conflicts may have a harder time with communication and problem-solving in their marriage. To unlock this baggage, one might need to improve listening skills, express thoughts and feelings clearly and directly, practice empathy, practice active listening, seek couples therapy
Baggage Claim: Unpacking Your Past Issues
3. Personal traumas
Trauma, whether it be physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, can have a lasting impact on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. It can affect the way they relate to others and can make it harder for them to trust, feel safe, and connect with their partner.
To unpack this, one might need to seek individual therapy, practice self-care and self-awareness, open communication and honesty with a partner, and work through unresolved issues.
If this baggage is not unpacked, the marriage might experience difficulty in forming connections, difficulty in trust, and difficulty in sexual intimacy.
Are you beginning to see why you need to enter the bag? We have a paid course on unpacking your baggage and getting healed. Reach me via WhatsApp if you need to take the course and it would be set up for you.
Isa 43:18-19 (MSG) [18] “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. [19] Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.
There are many other baggages, but I will stop here this morning!
Tonight will be explosive in our weekly meetings on WhatsApp!
